Pondering and thinking

I am on a bad course.  It’s not going well, this weight loss thing.  The scales seem to have a mind of their ow the last two weeks.  

I was so proud of myself this past Friday when I had my official weigh in.  And my pride took a beating when I actually weighed on and showed a two pound gain.  (Maybe that is it’s own lesson to heed the  the biblical verse  ‘pride goeth before fall’)

Whatever happened I wanted to give up.  Why am I doing this to myself?   Am in insane?  This is pure torture!

But I’m NOT giving up!   I’m not out for the count.   But I am taking a step back and reevaluating!

After my vow to throw in the towel and give up passed I jumped at the thought of this and that ‘diet’.   Maybe if I ate only grapefruit for the next two weeks.  You know...I once knew someone that only drank Pepsi for 6 days a week and on the seventh day she ate.  I kid you not...that was her weight loss plan.  Maybe I could do that!!!!    Yes. I’m ashamed to admit that I thought about those crazy ideas! 

  I thought about no so crazy ideas. What about the intermittent fasting..and only eating one meal a day?  (OMAD).  Keto?   Atkins? South beach?   My mind swirled with ideas.

I don’t have an answer yet.   I know something has to change. A change in me personally?  Maybe.    A change in my weight loss plan?   Maybe.  A change in my exercise plan?  Who knows.  

I’m not jumping into anything right away.  I’m stepping back to reevaluate.  I’m stepping back to think.  And I’m stepping back to give myself time to research my options...some different ideas...some different thoughts.   

I’m still here.  I’m still in the game. But I’m pulling out the playbook and figuring out my next move.  And who knows...my next move might be a totally different plan, so stay tuned!!!!

I leave you with a picture of Mertz and she helps me research my next move in this weight loss journey!

Fabulous week...kinda

I had a fabulous week!   I was so spot on with my eating it was ridiculous!

Ok I was spot on with my plan for the week!  As you know, I don’t strive for perfection in my weight loss journey.  I aim for sustainability.  That means that I allow myself a sweet treat here and there. Most recently I allow myself one!   And that’s ok.   Because I want this to be for life!

So yes!  I followed my plan.  Lots of fruits and veggies for lunch and a healthy balanced dinner.  One sweet treat for the whole week!   I was spot on with my plan!  My calories were in check.  I was doing great!

My exercise was spot on!  I rode the bike almost every day!   I did take my first test day for the year 2021!  Yes my first test day!   I’m not pushing myself overly hard.  20 minutes on the bike each day.  But my legs were feeling heavy.  So I took a rest day.  But I got back on that bike the next day and started back with my riding and my routine.   We walked on the weekend and enjoyed seeing how spring is blossoming.

And I watched my weight steadily climb. I gained two whole pounds this week!   What is wrong with me?????  

I’m so frustrated I could scream!

Chasing the Pounds

Each week I chase the weight.   I have my official weigh in on Friday.  I am stoked about it....then the weekend comes and boom...I gain 1-2 pounds (sadly sometimes 3) and then I spend the rest of my weigh in week (my work week) chasing down those pounds.

It’s a vicious cycle!  Absolute insanity!  I cut back to one sweet treat for the whole week...and yes it does happen on the weekend.  (It was one a day on the weekend...and I included Friday night into the weekend..so three!). That didn’t seem to make a difference.  I watch my calories.   They are not insanely high!  I mean, even with the sweet treats they were in the 1600 to 1800 range.  According to the ‘numbers’ that should still be a loss!    But each week I gain!

It’s disheartening!  It’s infuriating.  It is what it is...apparently.

So last week while I was chasing down my weight gain during the course of my work week, I thought of a few things and I have a new plan of attack...or maybe it’s an old plan of attack...depending on how you look at it!  

I have been doing a more intermittent fasting method for a while.  I’m just not hungry first thing in the morning.  I never have been.  So I naturally fell into a 16:8 intermittent fasting plan.   I have been hearing so many people talk about doing the intermittent fasting plan of one meal a day, or OMAD.  I have honestly been interested. It would eliminate so much temptation.   But I hesitate for various reasons.  Honestly I worry about going on a long hike or an intense mountain bike ride with no food in me.  We need food as fuel!    Sooooo...this last week I combined the two...kinda...sorta.     

I eat my dinner normally.  Whatever I want, I don’t particularly choose low calorie foods.  This last week we had chicken and sweet potatoes one night,  cheeseburgers and Mac and cheese another night, spagetti, a broccoli cheddar quiche.......well balanced and not what I would call ‘diet food’.  Normal foods for normal people.  (Honestly the broccoli cheddar quiche may have been the only recipe I may have possibly found in a healthy cookbook).  

  But when I break my fast  I am working to stick to eating fruits and veggies only.  Not even just plain fruits and veggies.   I ate left over broccoli casserole and also some broccoli salad (yes we had a lot of broccoli this week...go figure) and I did smear my banana with peanut butter!    But the basis of my lunch was fruits and veggies.

As I ate and entered my food into myfitnesspal I started to think about the Maryfran of old.  When I was in weight watchers and losing weight steadily...and reaching my goal weight, I remember being in a meeting where they were talking about fruits and veggies and that we have to really work to get those 5 servings a day....as hard as it is...we need to get those 5 recommended servings.   I remember listening to people moan and bellyache about how it was ‘so difficult’ to eat that many and how ‘five a day?  That’s just impossible’.  I was dumbfounded and when they asked if anyone consistently ate 5 servings I was able to honestly raise my hand.  They asked how many I actually ate and I remember being able to honestly say ‘I eat at least 8 servings a day’.   It sparked a whole long conversation where I talked about how I just made those foods the basis of my diet.  I think I may have mentioned that my lunch was primarily fruits and veggies.   Every day...I packed 4-5 (sometimes more) fruits and veggies for lunch.  I always had a fruit serving after each meal for my pop of sweetness...so breakfast and dinner also included a fruit...and then whatever veggies I served with dinner.   

I finally remembered how I managed things before.  ‘Normal dinner’ but fruit and veggie laden through out the day!   I can do that again!   No problem!

The other thing that I did with my figures in myfitnesspal...I pulled out my total calorie count for each day and listed them in a piece of paper.  I then listed my weight for that day beside the number. 

1600-1700 is not a good number for me.  But I am happy to say that 1300-1400 is a good number.  At least from this weeks statistics.   I have long said that I can’t lose at a higher caloric intake...even if the numbers say I should.  It just doesn’t happen for me!  I think this shows that also.  But I was happy to see that I didn’t need to be down at the 1200 range.  I was losing just fine at the 1400 mark!    I don’t know how 200 calories a day could make such a huge difference....but they did (true the quality of calories consumed too plays a factor!)

As you can see on the stats picture...I managed to chase that weight gain and even lose a pound!  Yes, I was happy!!

So I learned and remembered some basic things about myself this past weigh in week while I chased down the weekend weight gain!    I am diligently putting them to use!  And I’m determined!!!  

Running again????

This week has been somewhat uneventful.  Not much has been happening in terms of my weight loss.  It’s just been there.

I stayed the course over the weekend.  Stayed with my ‘one sweet treat indulgence’ rule.  I was so disgusted to see my weight pop up.   Irregardless of my seemingly good behavior my weight is determined to pop every weekend.  So I’ve been chasing down the ‘recoup’ all week long.  

On Sunday I was so thoroughly disgusted that I allowed the weight of it all (pun intended) to get to me.  I was actually depressed and feeling defeated about it all!    There were some other emotions at play also...some things that I am working through.   And I was an emotional wreck.   Jason had his hands full for sure!   He is a trooper and did everything he could to help me through the emotions!  

I did come to a conclusion on Monday....that conclusion was the reminder that I can’t help what other people do...how they treat me..how things play out in my life. I have no control over it.  The ONLY thing I have control over is my reaction to these stimuli.    And that includes how I stress eat..or not stress eat as the case may be.

I have continued on with my consistency with my exercise bike to get my miles.  I even got out for another run outside on my lunch break!!!!  Go me!  It was slow. It wasn’t pretty.  But I did it!!!

Ohhh and the weather was fabulous!  I was in a tee shirt!  That made it even better!  Spring is very welcome to arrive!

After my emotions on Sunday I feel more settled about my weight loss efforts.  I know I’m making overall good choices for health.   I just need to figure out why my weight is popping each weekend.  Calorically I’m not our of control.  (Even with the day that I had a sweet treat.). I’m not eating mad carbs all day long.  I’m not going off the rails at all.  It’s very controlled eating but something is off kilter.

I will figure this out!!!!  No if’s ands or buts!!!

I caved

I have been wanting one!  I have looked at peoples blogs.  I have watched videos.  I have been so wanting to get an air fryer!   I have heard that they are fabulous for cooking healthy meals! 

 My I have drooled over air fryers!  I wanted one bad!   I kept revisiting the idea in my mind!   But I kept resisting.   One main reason actually,  my kitchen is small! Where would I put it.  I already am constantly moving small appliances on a daily basis!! I can deal with the shuffling of small appliances...but my shelves that hold those small appliances are full.  What would I do?  Where would I put it!

Yet I kept getting inundated with air fryer praise!  Everyone talks about them!   I wanted!  But I kept resisting.  In my mind though I worked to come up with some ideas of how to magically create more storage in an already cramped apartment (story of my life!).

And then.....yes something happened.   We spent some time last weekend with Jason’s son and his fiancé (and his adorable granddaughter) and us girls started talking about cooking and kitchen gadgets.  She mentioned that she an air fryer!  My heart lurched as that desire to buy one roared back to life!  Of course I asked her what her thoughts were.  And she sang her praises!   She talked about cooking in it but she also talked about reheating food in it.  Really?  Hmmmm

Jason overheard the conversation!  He was hooked when he heard that  restaurant  french fries that you get through delivery/take out can be popped into the air fryer and they taste good!  Really?    Of course we started talking about it...and the pendulum swayed toward getting one.   

We talked all week long. And we did it!!!

We shopped around a bit.  We immediately discarded the cheapie $40 ones.  They felt flimsy and if I was really strapped for money I am sure they would be fine...but while I am watching my money (for my financial goals) I am ok spending a bit of money here and there.  I try to buy good quality when I can.  So it ended up being between the Ninja and the Power.  Jason had researched these a while back because I apparently almost got one as a gift a while back!  (He knows me well and knows that kitchen gadgets are a sure fire winner for a gift!!!)   We finally settled on the PowerXL.  We liked the fact racks versus the basket.  We also liked the rotisserie option.  So we did it!

It was $189.00 at Bed Bath and Beyond  but a 20% off coupon made it right around $120.     We were so excited to bring it home!

We quickly set it up and we were so excited to try to reheat some Cajun wings that we had picked up at a farmers market!  Ohhh they turned out well!  But what about fries???

On Sunday we grabbed dinner and uncharacteristically ordered French fries.   We had to try them!   And oh my word...it worked!!!  They reheated well!   They were not soggy!  They were crispy on the outside.  They were soft inside.  They were excellent!

This is going to be a fun new gadget!!!    I will be accounting out recipes and working on finding new healthy ways to use this air fryer.  But this weekend we learned that reheating in the air fryer is superior to anything else!!!

I gained a pound!!!!

I gained a pound overnight!

I had a pretty good week.   Not stellar but pretty good. I held steady on Friday and Saturday with my edict of only one sweet treat for the week.  I was doing great!  But then came Sunday.   I indulged at a family event and then that evening I was stressed and ate another sweet treat.  So I totally messed up on Sunday!

Luckily my weight only went up one pound!  So the damage was minimal!  I worked all week long staying on target and worked to get that pound off.  By Wednesday it was starting to drop!   I was hopeful for a loss!

Thursday morning I weighed in and it was looking promising!  A maintain/small loss!    But I had one more day...I was going to do it!!  I knew I could!

Now let me stop and say that I weigh every morning religiously.  I strip my clothes...turn on the shower water to let it get warm....step on the scales...get in the shower!  It’s a routine.  So occasionally when I shower in the evening I just follow that habit without thought. (Although I don’t like to weigh more than once a day...once is enough.). Last night was one of those days where I just stepped on without thinking.  I was so excited!  The scales showed me down 1.5 pounds!  Yes!   1.5 pounds down!   I was so excited!

So I stepped on those scales with confidence this morning!  I was going to slay those scales!   I was the ruler!  I was........

I officially lost a half of a pound (technically 0.4).   Where did that pound go?  Last night it was 1.4!   Ohhhh those scales are so fickle!!!!

So even though I apparently ‘gained’ a pound overnight....(yes I know it is normal fluctuations throughout the day and that’s why I don’t weigh more than once a day usually)   I still lost!  It wasn’t exactly what I wanted to lose...but a loss is a loss!!!!!!!

Monthly Recap

We have closed the books on February!   Another month in the year 2021 done.   I know it’s only been two months into this year but wow...it’s flying by!!!

So with a new month brings a bit of reflection of previous months.  So how did I do with my goals for February?

Financial Goals

I have a goal for the year.  I have a large amount of money that I would like to have in my savings account by the end of the year.  I have broken that down to a certain dollar amount that I need each month.  I am not going into details of exactly what I am saving or how much...that is not the goal to tell people my personal finances.  But....I have that goal of what I need and I met that goal!   In fact I smashed that goal and saved a few hundred dollars more than I needed!   I am on target to meet that financial goal well before the end of the year!   Can I double that goal?   Hmmm. I’m going to do my best!

2021 miles goal

My challenge to propel myself 2021 miles in the year 2021 is going well also!   I needed 168.48 miles for the month of February.  I had to up my daily miles a bit due to the fact that February was a shorter month.  But I made my goal.  I made my goal with room to spare!  I actually got 55.26 miles more than I needed!  I am doing great!  I have been consistent with my miles and I am quite proud of myself!!!

Lose weight

I set a challenge to be at or under 200 pounds by the end of this year.  That equaled to be roughly 1 pound a week, with about 6 weeks extra to account for no loss week.   I didn’t do great in January and just posted a small loss for the month and February was not much better.  I lost 1.6 pounds for the month.   I am not knocking it...it is a loss!  It could have been a gain.  So I am happy.  But I am so going to have to pick up the pace with my losing because I have now used up all my freebies.  I am down to the wire.  I have to lose 1 pound a week from here on out to meet my goal!   It’s time to get serious and take no prisoners!

I am aiming for the same goals for the month of March.  My goals this year will remain the same as I am working toward large goals.  But that’s ok.  It helps me build consistency!    

March is going to be fantastic!!   I can smash all my goals! I know I can!

The mind tricks

For the past week my mind has been playing some nasty tricks on me.   Ironically not in the arena of weight loss...but for life in general.  But I guess that affects everything...even that weight loss effort!

I have been looking deeply at where I am in life.  No, not in my relationship.  I couldn’t be happier with Jason!  I am more in love each day and couldn’t be happier to be engaged and thinking about a wedding.  No, I am talking about my professional and financial life.

What do I want put of life?   I know my current job isn’t my life passion.  But what is?

What is my mission in life?  What are my passions?  What are my likes...my desires?  I’ve been diving deep.    And somehow I have come up blank!  Sure I have some things I like.  I like to read.  I like my dollhouses.  But I dabble with those things.  The question is, what do I want to do with my life?   

Is this a mid life crisis??  I am 48 you know!

Passions....the only thing I came up with for myself is that I spend a lot of time focusing on weight loss.  Not successfully so it seems a lot of the time (although I don’t weigh 330 pounds anymore and while I am not at my goal weight, I’m no where close to that so I guess it is somewhat successful).   Weight loss....really?    I don’t even know if it’s a passion or just that it has been the sole focus of my life for so many years and that has maybe squeezed out everything else.

What in the world?  How do I even know what direction to turn?   I just feel totally discombobulated and lost!

As for weight loss????   I am holding on...by the skin of my teeth it appears this week. My bike riding on the exercise bike to get my mandatory miles continues without fail.   We continue our evening walks.  I even got in a lunch walk in this week.  

While I did manage to avoid the deluge of sweet treats over the weekend, I immediately got hit with the monthly scourge.   And that skewed my weight for the week.   I was slowly recovering and it was looking like a maintain for me!  And then last night I ate a super high sodium dinner.  Yup.  I knew it was not going to be good when I woke up and laid in bed.   I could see the signs!   And so I ended up with a gain this week. A gain of exactly one pound!

I’m not out for the count with my weight loss....I’m just regrouping...drinking lots of water and planning another one sweet treat weekend!!!

I will continue to ponder the direction of my life....and my passions. There had to be an answer out there for me!!!!

Weight loss is like a Bank Account

 More inspiration to stay focused on this weight loss journey!!!!

   

Ending the cycle

So..... did I break the cycle that I wrote about on Friday?  

On Friday I wrote about my vicious cycle that I have been struggling with.  I wrote about how my weeeknda were a huge struggle.  We naturally tend to eat more junk food and with that junk food comes a tendency to have a sweet treat each night.  And some nights a LOT of sweet treats.  Seriously a few weeks ago I ate two crepe filled donuts as dessert and that was after a full dinner!  Two!  (They were delicious!).  The weekends would make my weight pop up o the scales....and then I would need to play catch up.  Through the work week I would be eating ‘perfectly in an effort to lose the weight I gained in a desperate attempt to not show a gain!  Sometimes I was lucky and even showed a slight loss.  But I wasn’t always lucky.   I knew (know) that I can’t continue that cycle!  So on Friday I made that vow to break the cycle!

I am not aiming for perfection.  So I decided that I could resist a sweet treats...mostly.   I would allow myself ONE sweet treat!  Not one night of sweet treats (which would allow me to have two or three donuts. Or a half gallon of ice cream). One serving would be allowed over the whole weekend!   That allowed  me to have something I enjoy but in a severely limited and managed manner.   A good balance between living my life happily but in a healthy manner.  (In other words, a sustainable balance.)

All day long of Friday I stressed about this limitation.   Should I get dessert on Friday night when we ordered our dinner?  It would be tasty.   I would enjoy it for sure.  But what if we had a better option for desserts on Saturday...or Sunday?  Then I would be faced with a monumental choice of trying to resist when something better came along.  But what if I turned down dessert on Friday and then Saturday and Sunday rolled along and no delicious dessert came my way?   Then I would have lost that delicious dessert and I would be high and dry with no sweet treat!  (The tragedy!) 

You may laugh, but I pondered this decision all day long on Friday!

Luckily the decision was made easier for me.   We ordered form a place that didn’t usually tempt us with desserts and I was tired and felt no desire to make anything.  On Saturday I resisted the Reece’s cups at the store while grocery shopping ...I was saving myself for something awesome. (And I was tempted with the Reece’s Cups thin!)  Mid afternoon went to a farmers market and picked up donuts.   I ordered ONE and I will be the first to admit that I savored that donut!  It was delicious.   When Sunday rolled around, surprisingly I wasn’t tempted to grab anything.  

I did it!  I limited my sweet treats and I did great.  Now I will be clear and say that I did ‘indulge’ in a banana with a bit of chocolate syrup. But I’m not even going to count a banana and a bit of chocolate as a sweet treat!  It’s a healthy snack!

So my weight. How do my daily weigh ins look?   Grrrrrr! 

I was so excited to step on the scale this morning.  I wanted to see the number because there was no way that my weight popped up!   It had stayed steady through Saturday morning and Sunday morning weigh ins...I just needed a good weigh in on Monday to carry myself through the weekend and break that cycle.  

Three pounds UP!   Exactly three pounds!   Yes..  three pounds.   You see...the monthly scourge (my female cycle) decided to visit...a week and a half early might I add.     I have long known that my weight pops by 2-3 pounds with that.  But seriously....why!  I wanted to see the success!!!!

Water water water...that is the plan for today (not only the hormonal water weight...I know I didn’t drink enough water this weekend).   If I stay the course this weight gain should disappear!!!!!!

Go away

I’m done with winter!   Thank you, but I’ve had enough!   It’s time to move on to better things...like spring!!!

We had more winter weather this week.   I’m over it!  I want balmy weather!  I want bike ride weather!  I want to put my hat and gloves away!

Ok I’m done complaining!   (Maybe).  I am blessed to be working from home this winter!   I haven’t had to stress and worry about getting to and from work in these storms.  It’s been totally stress free for me.  (Well mostly....I still worry about Jason!). 

We have been just continuing onward.  Work during the day and relax during the night.  We enjoy our evenings and our time together...with our pets.  :-)

My eating has been spotty.  I am teetering on the edge of collapse.   Meaning I’m not being horrible but I’m barely doing enough to maintain....if there is any loss it is minimal...and most likely to be regained.  I have not been totally serious about this journey.  I’ve been trying to have my cake and eat it too...pun intended!!

The sweet treats on the weekend get me every time!   One night turns into two which turns into three!   And the the damage is done so all of my work week is trying to play catch up for my weekend indulgences!  It’s not working!!!

I’ve got to stop the cycle!   But even as I type that, I struggle because the weekend is upon me...what dessert!  Should I have my dessert tonight and then just hope and pray for willpower the rest of the weekend?  Should I resist tonight and then take the chance that I won’t get something delicious the other nights?   Yes these are serious decisions  and worries for me!!!

And yes....that is a good addicts brain talking!   

How does one beat that mentality?  I just wish it would go away...just like winter...disappear into oblivion!

One Pound at a Time

 Today's mid week inspiration is the reminder that this journey is not insurmountable.  It is quite attainable...we just have to do it one pound at a time!!!!

Playing catch up

I was totally shocked at my official weigh in.  How in the world did I manage a loss?   The stress got me.   The weekend desserts got me.  It was just not a good week!

Let’s start with the good.   I got my miles in for my 2021 mile challenge for the year.  I am unfailing with that.   Determined to complete this goal and prove to myself that I can do it!  I try not to think about the long term aspect of this goal.  I try to not dwell on the amount of miles that I have yet to complete.  I am laser focused on each individual day...get the minimum 6 miles...don’t worry about anything other than the days miles.   I have been consistent with getting my miles on the exercise bike and then we usually walk after work so that nets me another mile or two.  I also made a slight change in my calculations. The official rules of the challenge is that you can’t count your daily every day steps...only specific workouts.  I followed that for the first two weeks.  But then I realized that it was not really pushing me to add steps to my life.  My step count was still barely reaching 5k each day.  So I made a little equation.  Through studying previous days, I know how much a sedentary day (no after work walk and just a lot of relaxing) gives me in steps.  So I decided to take my daily steps...and I subtract that ‘sedentary number’.  The number of steps I have left is what I count.   I have been happy to see that while I used to struggle to reach that 5k mark, I find myself consistently over 5K.  Nothing changed in my life...I am just trying to move more.  For example, I fold clothes and instead of folding all the pants and placing them in a stack on the bed before putting them away, I fold a pair of jeans and then walk them to the dresser.  I walk back to the bed and fold another pair of pants and walk them to the dresser and then back.   I do the same with clothes that go into the closet.  On trip for each item.  It seems small but it does add up.  

So I’m doing well with that.

My eating.  I am struggling with breaking the weekend cycle.  I eat sweet treats on the weekend....and pop up on the scales.  I spend the weekdays trying to be good...and I can usually negate the weekend gain.  But barely.   I vow to keep it in line...but then I cave and have too many sweet treats.   And this the cycle begins again.   

I have such good intentions...but wow.  I am spineless!

So that is what happened last week.  I weighed in on Friday...and I lost 0.8 pounds.   I was determined to come through the weekend without a gain.   But then...boom.   It happened.  So here I go again...playing catch up.  It’s getting old.  And the only thing I can say is it so my shame because I know this issue is mine!!!

So here is to a work week of ‘catch up’!!!

Stress and more stress

These last to weeks have been fraught with stress. I have been trying to keep a lid on the stress and continue my journey to a healthier me.   I know that journey is so important!   But that urge to eat me stress away has been simmering the whole time.

Work is insanity!   The changes tgg he at were made at the beginning of the month were rough.   The preparation for the changes were not sufficient at all!  Not one coworker that I have talked to is feeling ok about it!   The most unflappable people are talking about the stress and tension!  Added to that is the fact that the work load increased but the work force decreased again is not helping!

I try to remind myself daily hourly that I need to be thankful that I have a job!!!

Then in monday mom fell again!  This is the third fall in a little over three months.  The first two were bad enough but didn’t cause any serious physical injuries.  But this third fall has been tough with injuries that are making it difficult for her to function.  I have been stressed and worried  to no end.  These falls have to stop because I fear what the next fall may bring!

So you can see..,.stress galore.   I know it’s an excuse...but I fear my weight on results due to the stress.  I fear that the stress and the stress eating will affect my efforts and if nothing else about my mom’s situation is good.....her lack physical fitness should be pushing me to lose this weight once and for all....and get fit!  

The good thing in all this?  I have not missed even one day of my time on the exercise bike!!!!

Be Strong!!

 Just a little mid week pick me up and inspiration!!!

There are so many excuses about why we can't get fit, why we can't exercise, why we can't lose weight.  I'm not here to say that they are NOT valid....but they are just that.  Excuses.   If you want something bad enough, you will make it happen and there will be no such thing as an excuse!!!!

Recovery

 So I was honest last week and admitted that I gained weight.  I actually admitted that I gained 3 pounds!!!  ! I wasn't happy about it but I vowed to change it!   I swore up and down to myself that I was going to get this under control and take care of it so that I wouldn't gain any more and so that I could recoup my gain.  It's time for the weekly weigh in.....did I do it?

Let me start and talk about this week.  This was immensely tiring and stressful! We had a big change at work that was a bit.....well lets just say it was a bit rocky.  I will admit to shedding a few tears.   And I know some of my coworkers have admitted to it also.  It has caused stress galore...and tension headaches!  And on Monday, it caused some stress eating!

I wasn't happy with myself though.  So by Tuesday I had cleaned up my act and I was back to eating healthier!  That was awesome and I was happy to turn it around!  Even better?  I can honestly say that I NEVER missed a day of my miles for my 2021 challenge!  So that is a good thing!  

It was just a week!  Finally by Thursday, I experienced one of those days where I went to the bathroom CONSTANTLY!  I hoped that my body was getting rid of water weight in time for my weigh in!  BUt I was still nervous to step on the scales!!!

But let me stop babbling and give you the numbers!

I lost 1.4 pounds!  I didn't recoup what I gained!  But I had a significant loss and for that I am super thrilled!!!   This puts me at 85.6 pounds down from my highest weight!  GO me!  I'm about halfway there!!!

I am watching my food intake closely as I head into the new weight week!  I'm going to rock out this week!!!!!!

Get busy living

 I love love love the movie Shawshank Redemption.  It is just a really good movie.  But in particular there is one line that really resonates with me.

Get busy Living or Get busy Dying.  Every time I say it I can hear Morgan Freemans deep voice saying it.  But in actuality, the quote is said a few times in the movie.....because it's that important!  And I've written about this in the past...way back in 2009....but it's so good I want to repeat it!!!

In a weight loss journey this is particularly true.  Because you see, I have a choice. One choice really.  I can take the steps to control my weight and be healthy  or I can ignore it and eat myself silly while laying on the couch with no exercise or activity!  One choice.  But that one choice has SOOO many ramifications!

I can get busy living....making my life one that is really living. Eating healthy, moving more, being active and living my life to the fullest!   Or I can continue to eat poorly and exercise little and allow my health to continue to erode until I am in a place that I can't recover from......a place that will bring death.  Because you see, ignoring my weight issues and my inactivity is hastening my death.  Sure, that sounds way over the top melodramatic. But lets look at the leading causes of death.  Obesity is a contributing factor to each one of those ways to die.  Those diseases are caused or at least exacerbated by excess weight!   

SO you see, get busy living or get busy dying really does pertain to that single choice we have.  We can eat healthy and get active and get busy living.   Or we can continue to eat junk food and allow our weight to skyrocket and not get any exercise and in essence we are going to at that point be 'get busy dying'.  We have a choice.. I want to live.  I want to live the best life possible and that life I want is NOT plagued with health conditions that I have control of!

Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying.  It's your choice!!!

Hello February

February....you are more than welcome to come into my life! I am ready to say goodby to January!   No, January wasn’t that horrible, but I don’t like cold!  So while I don’t want to wish my life away, I’m already dreaming about balmy spring days...so bring on February because that will herald in March...and warmer weather!  

Sooooo. Let’s talk about some goals!

I have three main goals for the year 2021.  I want to build my savings account by a specific dollar amount. ($5000)  I want to propel myself 2021 miles in the year via biking, walking, running, etc.   Last but not least I want to lose weight and be at or under 200 pounds  (Roughly 47 pounds to lose this year.)

For my monthly goals I have simply taken those three goals and divided them by 12 to get my monthly goals.  These goals are big and I was getting really panicked within the first days of the year as I looked at the sheer numbers of what I needed to accomplish.  So by turning them down into the monthly goals it tricks my mind by making the goal more doable and attainable!

So the goals for each month....

1.  Ride/walk 168.42 miles 

2.  Lose 4 pounds (one pound a week)

3.  Save $415

I smashed my first goal of mileage!  I got my required miles and I banked an extra 56 miles!   Why yes I did!!!   I call this a huge NSV!   I honestly half expected myself to quit after a week or two.  I think for me the biggest thing was that helped me is that I stopped thinking of exercise as optional.  I made my miles mandatory...as mandatory as brushing my teeth and taking a shower is for me!  

My second goal was to lose weight....specifically 1 pound a week.   I was killing this goal during the first weeks of the month!  I kid you not!   At the beginning of the last week I looked at the figures and I was so excited because I realized that I could pretty much maintain and all would be ok....I would still be well above my minimum needed to call this goal completed!   I could even gain a bit and I would still attain my monthly goal!   But I had a huge gain that last week!   So I ended the month at 1.2 pounds gone.   So I did not reach this goal for the month.  I know I know...it’s a loss overall.  And for that I’m happy.

Third...savings.....I nailed this goal easy!   No problem!  Money in the bank...and I even out above and beyond the minimum needed into my savings account!!!

The goals remain the same for the month of February! I have big goals for the year and I am going to chip away at them one month at a time!    For the miles and my savings I am on track and actually even ahead of schedule for my year goals.  (And I want to keep it that way and keep building that cushion).   For the weight I had a few pounds extra  built in as I had 48 pounds or so to lose and there are 52 weeks in the year.   But I have blown some of that cushion this past month.   No worries.  I can still accomplish my big goal. But wait, I’m not looking at the big picture....only 4 pounds needed this upcoming  month!

Well if that isn't ducky

 I had a fabulous week!  It was absolutely spectacular!!   I mean, it could have been better in some regards...but by the book and by the numbers it was pretty good!

I continue to rock out the mileage!   I rode every day of the week and didn't let up, even after I knew that I had reached the miles that I needed for the month of January, I kept pedaling!  I did not let up!  My exercise has become something that 'just has to be done' each day.  It's kinda like brushing my teeth....it has to be done.  I don't try to talk myself out of brushing my teeth so why would I do so with my exercise!  And whatever I'm doing...it's working!  I have exercised and gotten my mileage each and every day this month!

Food.....well  I kept my calories at an somewhat even keel!   Ok ok ok, there was one day where I was up around 2000 calories...but my average for the week was 1550 for each day.  That is a theoretical LOSS.  HOwever we know that my body doesn't work that way!  Soooooo....I gained!  I gained 3.2 pounds!

Yes, I am incredibly frustrated to gain 3.2 pounds.  That wipes out most of my progress in the month of January!  It is infuriating!  

These are not excuses....but possible causes and factors in my demise this week. (Ok, that was a bit melodramatic....it's not a demise...it is just a bump in the road.).  So anyway....these extenuating facts......

 Factor number 1, the monthly ick!  Need I say more?  I have long known that I can sometimes gain up to 2-3 pounds from that joyful event.  

Factor number 2, we are going through a huge change up at work...as in a huge change up in the system that I operate each and every day.  THis week was the last week of training....the swap of information from our current system to the new system will happen this week and when I log in on Monday I will be using a different system. One that I am not feeling confident about.  One that I feel that I was only half trained on.  There are so many questions in my mind and I am stressed to the max!

Factor number 3.....could I be building muscle???  I am riding my bike a LOT!

Ok, so factors number one and two are quite valid and real.  Three may just be a little wishful thinking!  But there you have it.  I had a HUGE gain this week!!!!!!!

Seriously????

I am so disgusted today!    It’s not my official weigh in day...but it is not looking good for that day when it comes!   My weight is just doing it’s own thing and not exactly going down...it actually has been high this week!

Ok, so maybe my weight isn’t doing it’s ‘own thing’.  I have played a part....in one way at least!

On Monday I totally fell apart.  I ate my planned lunch....and still felt so hungry.  I grabbed an extra item for lunch....and then another...and then another.  It just didn’t stop!    In fairness...my calories were not that high....they were still in a range that theoretically I should be losing. But I know that my body just doesn’t lose ‘theoretically’ and that I need to be at the lower calorie level to actually lose.   

All week long my calories were in that ‘theoretical’ loss range.....

Add to that....the monthly ick has arrived and that has always popped my pounds up 2-3 pounds. 

But....I’m still getting my 5.61 miles (actually I end up with about 7 each day on average) each day!  I am slaying that exercise thing!!!