Tuesday, December 03, 2013

Completely Nuts & Nonconforming......another try at CNN

Yesterday was a good day.  I woke up and had a healthy breakfast (oatmeal with a banana cooked in with the oatmeal...so tasty) and headed out for a run.  I packed my lunch (a salad) and I knew what dinner was going to be.  I was set for the day.  I had a slight problem when I forgot my banana in my lunch, but it turns out that my salad filled me up and I didn't need the banana.  However, I guess I did not need to replace the missing banana with the truffle that I had at work. (Darn-it, our customers bring us so many yummy things! And it's only going to get worse during the holiday season!).  75 calories and I was OK, still within my planned caloric budget.   The second truffle was probably over the edge....but I wasn't too concerned.  I had run and I also knew I was heading to zumba later in the day.  :-)

So zumba and a run!  My run was an ok run.  My pace was slow and steady but I was out there moving.  It will improve with consistency.

So we all know that when I run I start to think about things.  Sometimes I have some amazing Epiphanies whilst I'm out running.  (Yes, my thoughts are amazing, and don't you dare tell me otherwise!  Leave me to my delusions!)   This morning my thoughts were spurred on by random facebook post that I had read earlier in the morning.  The facebook post was about the CNN triathlon challenge that they do each year...the six pack thingy.  

My thoughts were all over the place.  Way back in December 2011 I applied to be part of the 2012 team.  I had thought of my application and possibly being picked as a 'salvation'.  If I got picked I would be swooped from the world of obese lethargy.   They would fix my woes.   When I wasn't picked I lost my 'chance' and I gave up.  No one was going to save me so I sat on my couch and ate myself into oblivion. Ohhh, I was still giving off the attitude of caring and trying.  However, my spirit was crushed.  It wasn't until about a year later that I realized that they couldn't swoop in and save me.  There is only one person that can save me and that is myself.

After I had thoroughly  chewed over those thoughts the epiphany happened.  Why not try again this year?   This year I wouldn't be looking for a savior to fix me.  I would just be looking for help as I tried to save myself and also looking for assistance as I try to knock a triathlon off my bucket list!   I ran along down the road and I decided to do it.  I gathered my thoughts about what direction I would want my video to go and grabbed Todd and off I went.  My video is raw, unscripted, off the cuff.  I may have rambled a bit.  But you know what.  I don't care.  It's me, it's a wild stab and I can sleep well at night knowing that I didn't waffle on that thought.  I don't want to live my life with regrets...thinking "you know what, I thought about applying but I didn't".

I don't hold out any great hope....but I'll tell you this...I want it.  :)