Wednesday, October 30, 2019

Don't even miss it!

The last couple weeks I have been doing pretty good.  No, I haven't lived the life of a perfect lose weight eating plan.  I have lived my life.....exactly how I have chosen to go about this weight loss journey at this point.   So yes, there have been some piece of cake.  Some candy.  Some.........

But while I have indulged in some sweet treat or some decidedly unhealthy food on occasion, I have also sat back and made healthy choices during many more situations.  We have had a carrot cake in the refrigerator for the last 5 days.  I indulged in ONE small piece over the weekend.  Jason has been enjoying the rest.  Do I WANT a piece?  Sure, it is delicious and I would love to have another piece.  But I have chosen to say no.  I have chosen to not indulge.  And something crazy has happened. 

I don't even miss not having it!  Sure, I look in the fridge and see the cake and think about how delicious it is.  But I don't sit there and have a mental battle with myself over eating or not eating a piece.  I have had some unknown force of motivation take over and I haven't been tempted.  And the most amazing thing?  When I walk away I don't think longingly about what I gave up.  I move on with my life and it is a none issue! 

So really?  Where in the world did the real MaryFran go???
Me standing beside a piece of art made from all Honda Car Parts

Life is settling down after my week of car highs and lows.  Work is still crazy, Monday they had me finishing up the training class that I have been leading for the last 6 weeks.  And on Tuesday they had me take over the training for the new hires that started a few weeks back.  This new class is in a much smaller room so I won't even be getting the steps that I got in the larger room as I go back and forth between their desks.

I haven't been walking on my lunch breaks and I am seeing a change in my bike riding.  Not a good change either.  (If you watch my youtube videos...the fist video about this will go live on at 4PM ET tonight ...Oct.'s crazy......makes me laugh to watch the footage as I had a meltdown on my bike).  So I am determined to get out on my lunch break and walk.   I would like the two 15 minute breaks to be walking also...but that might be asking too much. 

So I am trying to re-take control and get moving more.  Jason and I are trying to ride our bikes around our neighborhood after work also.  we have plans to pick up a light to make it work after the time changes also.

So things are still moving forward on my quest to be healthy and lose weight.  It's just a REALLY slow process.

Monday, October 28, 2019

Super stressed

Last week was a rough one for me!  It was terribly stressful.  I tried to fight the stress eating.  I tried my hardest to hang on and lose the rest of my vacation pounds that I had gained! But oh it was so hard!

The week was the beginning of my weight journey week my trusty Honda Civic broke down.  The stress started!   The stress just kept mounting as the news about the car turned uglier and uglier!   By Tuesday I was car shopping.  My back was against the wall.  I had a car that they told me was dead...after spending $500 to try to fix it!   I was in a car rental throwing more money down a black hole.  I was trying to fight the urge to eat everything in sight!  It wasn’t easy and I wasn’t overly successful!  There was carrot cake...a few nights.  

By Thursday I was ready to buy a car...I had no choice.   Thursday morning my weight was looking like a decent loss....but the stress eating that day got me...and it got me bad!   But I bought my new car.   A 2019 Honda Civic.  My fourth car I will/have owned and my fourth Honda Civic.

But I was still stressed because if some more bills and expenses that were coming my way in relation to this car fiasco. but by Friday I was starting to be able to contain the stress eating!  The next big thing would be getting a bike rack so we could carry our bikes to the trail head....until biking except for the roads around us!

I weight in on Friday and while I didn’t lose a LOT...I was able to lose 0.6 I can officially say that I recouped my vacation weight gain!  I officially weight exactly what I weighed the day before vacation!   So October was a week of vacation where I gained 4 pounds...and three weeks of losing those four pounds.  Honestly...worth it!  That is life....and I want to live life!

On Friday I also went to the dentist where they numbed two quadrants of my mouth to fix some cavities.

That is me trying to smile!   The only good thing?  My appointment was early and I wasn’t thinking so didn’t eat breakfast before hand...and I was too numb to eat lunch afterward....I was numb until about 3pm...numb as in biting my tongue and not feeling it lunch was out.   I did manage to eat a Wendy’s frosty at around 2 biting required!

On Saturday we went to pick up the old car.   The old car was long as you didn’t stop ...driving was smooth as all get out...but the car was idling so bad that it would die if we stopped and let it idle.  We mapped out a route that would have the least amount of stops and went to pick up the car....I was nervous and fully expected to be calling a tow truck half way home.  But we wanted to get it home so that we could have a friend look at we could clean it out...and so that we could sell it at our own pace.  (Plus I had already made enough huge decisions for the week...I needed a break from big decisions!)

Jason started the sounded horrible.  He Reece’s the engine..  and we set off....he said he drove it in low gear...high rpms for the first mile.  (I was in the new car....lucky me...he is awesome and took the  stress of driving it from me...but for some reason this part of the week was driving me nuts with worry!). And then something crazy happened.  The  engine light went off.   The car started driving smooth.  He started to stop right behind me at stop signs and I couldn’t hear anything amiss!   At one stop sign I saw him throw up his hands in the classic ‘I don’t know’ motion.    Could it be?

Why yes...the car fixed itself.  The supposed wiring issue was gone.   We drove that car all weekend...and even got in a bike ride (since we could cart our bikes to the trailhead!). The car was riding a smooth as all get out!     Did we get bad gas?  I had been really low when it was idling bad the week before ...and we stopped to get gas hoping that would fix it...and within 1/4 a mile the engine light came on.  We didn’t drive it because we didn’t want to damage it further.  But had we just taken it out in the open road and pushed it...would it have pushed that ‘speck of dirt’ out of the way and cleared up the problem?

Now I’m not upset about the fact that the car started to work after I already bought a new car.  We needed a second car.   The car that broke down was a 2004 civic with 267k miles on it.  We needed a new car...badly!  So it just forced us to take the time and do the deed.  (And I had been saving for the down payment so it wasn’t a complete shock!  Lol).   

But that was my previous week.   I’m praying for a nice simple week of sunshine and happiness and huge weight loss this week!!!!

Monday, October 21, 2019

A little more to go

Ahh what a weekend!   It did NOT go as all!   But amidst some stress and pain we still had a good time!

Let’s start with my weigh in.   I am currently officially sitting at 235.4 pounds (at my official weigh in on Friday).   I have to lose 0.6 pounds to be back at my pre-vacation weight.   I am crossing my fingers and hoping for that to happen this upcoming week!!!   That would be one week of vacation and three weeks to recover.  Not the greatest...but I’m ok with that.  Well worth it!

We did get in a bike ride over the weekend.  It was absolutely horrible...from lunging dogs, failed attempts  to complete things I know I can do and wasn’t the greatest.  (Stay tuned on YouTube...that video will go live next week..October 30th to be exact.). And as if the ride wasn’t bad enough...on the way home my car broke down!

Sooooo....the car breaking down totally changed the plans for the rest of the weekend.  We obviously couldn’t ride if we couldn’t use the car—-with the bike rack to get to the trail head.  Oh and the rain on Sunday played a part in the plan change also...when the car broke down we said ...well we can hike, until we saw the rain.  But anyway,  the car has been towed...I am crossing my fingers for something simple to fix!   (When we were about two miles from home it started idling really rough...but was still driving fine....and about 1/2 mile from home the engine light came on....oh heavens!).   

 Cool art made form all Honda car parts at the place I took my car (not the Honda dealership but they specialize in Honda!)

So we hit a few stores...and just moseyed around locally a bit.  And of course had to try on Halloween masks.

I tried this one on...

But didn’t start really laughing until I added my glasses.

We went home...cleaned the house and carved pumpkins!

And that was the weekend!

If you want to have a recap of my last week...visit my YouTube channel video (my weight loss blog video) here.  Please subscribe to my channel also...even if you don’t watch...I would appreciate it!)

so that was the weekend.    Today is back to work.  Most of all, I am determined to lose the rest of this vacation weight this week!  I’m ready for this weight to be gone once and for all!!!!

Friday, October 18, 2019

Hanging on by a thread

Friday!!!  Yay!!!

I feel like I am barely hanging on.   Ever since vacation I feel as if I am flying by the seat of my pants and just barely!  It is an odd sensation.  I normally do feel exhausted as my week continues...but right now I just feel as if I’m pushing forward and getting nothing done...just scraping by.   I am getting dinner cooked on the evenings...most days.   There have been more ‘let’s just  order delivery for dinner tonight’  evenings than ever!  The house looks a wreck!   I’m just feeling as if I don’t have time for anything!   I don’t know what the difference is and what changed to make me feel like this ..but it is really starting to annoy me!  What’s worse?  I don’t know how to fix it.  Does anyone have a few spare hours to give me each day?

I have been doing well with my eating.  I have maintained my food intake within my calorie count.   At the top end...but I’m there!   I don’t eat a whole lot of complex carbs (I know that I don’t lose well if I do). I am feeling balanced and in control of this food addiction.   But my weight is just hanging steady though...which is super annoying!  It is bringing on lots of ‘I’m a failure’ feelings.   Do I really have to go online and report another ‘stand still’ or worse a gain report with my weight.  Seriously, it’s driving me crazy!!!  I have tried to tweak my food a bit this week to bump me into the losing category.....I took out one fruit  and switched it to a vegetable for my lunches......and I have ended up ravenous and not satisfied after my in scrounging through my wallet looking for change for the vending machine ravenous!   I found the money...but I came to my senses and realized that junk food from the vending machine wasn’t the ticket.  I instead scrounged in my desk drawer and found a granola bar that I kept there for ‘emergencies’.  The next day I took a new bar to replace that one and ended up eating it instead of putting it on my desk drawer.  All week long.   So that’s just odd to me!!!

I have walked on my much as I can.  I’m working on training and I don’t have prep I have been spending my lunches printing materials for the next day.  Since I am training I am on my feet all day though!!!  That’s good!!!  We get bike rides in on the weekends but during the week not at all....and I get frustrated because I know I would progress so much faster should I be able to have the time to ride on the trails during the week...but.......

But that’s where I stand....kinda hanging on my a thread.   But I haven’t give up working on my health!   I’m still in the game!

Tuesday, October 15, 2019

Fears about a weight gain

My first official weigh in after vacation happened this past weekend.  I was showing up 2 pounds exactly.   I had hoped for better!  I had wanted a maintain.  Yet I was ok with the gain.    I knew going in that I was going to live my life and not focus on my food.  I still chose healthy options at times....but I also choose some unhealthy options at times.   I was completely satisfied with my food choices. 

So while I am ok with my weight after vacation....I still find myself panicking.   I go back to the first official post vacation weigh in shortly after I reached my goal weight.   It is the vacation where I started my backwards slide!   Yeah, this one.....  I know it’s not the same....but my mind goes there....what if I never recover?  What if I never lose the weight and start regaining?  What if I end up back at 330 pounds?

I am eating right....and we did go out for a ride this past weekend and I have started walking on my lunch break again this week (ok yesterday...but it’s a start)

I fears are silly...but my weight is just not dropping quickly...but it hasn’t this time around.  It seems as if I drop a half pound then maintain for a week or two and then drop another half pound.   It’s still progress but it is slooooow!

So that is where I am at!  Worried...panicked....just plodding along and staying on track for this weight loss journey!

A video of last weeks progress can be found here....

Friday, October 11, 2019


This week is almost in the books!   Thank heavens!

It had been a rough one.   I came back to work and the vacation and then return to work really emphasized how I have utterly no work/life balance.   I knew it before...but a week of vacation made it a blaring issue!   We are talking and trying to figure out some sort of solution!   We know that’s not healthy!

My sun poisoning is still hanging around.   Here is what my arms looked like about 8-9 days after this issue cropped up!  So they are so much better in this picture.

This picture was taken on they look a bit better now!

My body just aches!   I was so tired all week long...and my body just ached!  My legs were quivering in pain by the evening!  It was crazy!

By mid week I gave up and started wearing not only jeans to work...but also tennis shoes.  I do sometimes wear jeans but not tennis’s shoes....keeping my outfit on the more dressier side of casual. But I was trying anything to heal...anything to feel better! So tennis shoes it was!

Food wise...I did was steady for me to get right back to ‘normal’.  Being a creature of habit came in handy.  You see...I just followed the ‘normal’ routine and went back to my healthy light breakfast...I just packed and did what I had already been doing for months before my vacation!

I was leading training this week at work.   That could have affected me a bit in terms of my lethargy...but who knows.   But by Thursday night I had decided that the kitchen was closed! Usually I am so tired that I close it on Friday’s...this week I couldn’t even make it to Friday...I closed it down on Thursday!  I didn’t even fuss about the delivery fees!   Because yes..I am cheap frugal and try to pick up our food if at all possible to save that money!  (Seriously...8-10 bucks for delivery fee and tip each time adds up!!).  But last night I didn’t care!   I would have paid 20 bucks to have it delivered!  I fully expect and plan to do the same tonight...well tonight is a Friday tradition!  

I am hoping that a weekend will be just what I need to knock the tiredness and hives/rash/sun poisoning out of my system and bring me back to 100%!   This is not just weight loss...this is a fight for living a healthy life!   It’s time to take care of me a bit more before I get back to my daily walks and exercise!!  But I’ll be back!!

Whatever...I have made it to Friday!   

Wednesday, October 09, 2019

Real life

So it is the beginning of day three of being back to real life.  And let me tell’s not been easy!  I am back on track with my weight loss efforts though!  That has been relatively easy!

I went back to work on Monday ...I came home from work and was so tired that I felt like a zombie!  I felt like I could barely function! I slept like a log that night and hoped and prayed that the good night sleep would do the trick!

Nope!  Tuesday night I came home just as exhausted. It is crazy!

My legs just ache each night also.  Now in fairness, I am back to working with the new hires and leading the training for I am on my feet all day. So that could be part of the feet thing.

  But still.....yikes I just feel so wiped out and achy!

The sun poisoning is still present.  It seems to be fading a bit though. I’ll be happy to see the end of that for sure!  Meanwhile, I keep coating my arms with lotions and potions!

Food wise, it was pretty easy to get back to normal. Going back to work really did force me to return to ‘normal’.   I simply packed my normal breakfast and lunch and just ate what I packed when the time came!   The only thing that was a bit trickier was the sweet treat after dinner.    I have indulged and had a banana with chocolate syrup each night!  (One night a fresh banana and the second night a frozen banana puréed into ice cream consistency.).    I’m ok with that...because seriously, a banana as my sweet treat!?   That is healthy!!!  

So far my weight is not dropping.  But I know it will....eventually!

So there you have it...the struggles of my life this week!  

Monday, October 07, 2019

It's Over

Boooooo  vacation is over!  I don't want it to be over!

We had a FABULOUS time!   We went to Ocean City, MD for a week and we had a blast!  We enjoyed sunrises, long walks, long bike rides and some wonderful time together!  I'm not ready to go back to work!

That said, My weight is up by about 3 pounds.  I'm not happy with that, but I do think that some of it is external factors that is causing my weight to be raised a bit.  What factors?

* my bodily functions are not exactly do those things you know!
* I had a bit of a situation where I was either severely dehydrated or having an allergic reaction.  My hands swelled up so bad that my rings didn't fit on ANY Fingers....not even on my pinky!  It hurt to move my fingers because the skin was stretched so tightly!  (It was accompanied by a weird rash and burning sensation on my lower leg.....small 2 inch patch on my leg).  The swelling went away by the end of the day...the leg still burns a bit. 
* On the last day at the beach I picked up a case of sun crazy is that for October?  I know that sun poisoning (I"m not really it's odd) and sunburn cause inflammation and inflammation can cause weight gain!.

So is the 3 pounds real?   Who week we will know for sure!

In the is a video of our vacation!

And if you won't want to watch the video...a few pictures.