Sunday, February 23, 2014

One Size Fits All

I'm still quite a ways away from reaching my goal weight again.  Way too may pounds for my liking, but that's what it is.   Today however the thought about "what makes the 'end' so difficult for us.  Why is it so difficult to push through those last pounds and reach our goals.

The first and trite answer is that when we are losing weight we have this wonderful neon sign that is blinking in front of us.  The sign is clearly blinking "Goal weight......Goal weight.....goal weight....goal weight"   It is is out there.  The focus is on the sign and we that are on this journey just keep pushing forward toward the goal.  The sign moves closer and closer (and sadly, some weeks it moves further away again).  The problem is that as the sign moves closer toward us the uncertainty starts to crowd in.  You see, what comes after that sign.  What happens when we pass that sign?    It is a great big black chasm.  The great big sign (the goal) is behind us and for so long we have focused on losing that now we are left with no goal.  Oh yes, we have the 'goal' of maintaining....but that's not a big neon sign that is beckoning us forward.  It is a scary prospect and it's one that can deter us and cause us concern.  That can derail. us.  Fear is natural..but fear is debilitating when it comes to our weight loss efforts.

The second answer is much more complicated and it's so much more difficult to admit and actually put down on paper.    But here goes.......  Fat is a safety net.  Fat is the greatest excuse as to why I fail.  It's easier to be fat and have this 'Well I'm fat' excuse up my sleeve.   Seriously, when you are overweight...grossly overweight and you cut a run short and make a comment saying "I'm disappointed with myself...I only ran a 1/2 mile or even a mile today"  it's easy for people and myself included to simply say "well seriously....the fact that you can run even that much is awesome!"   You see....the fat is a wonderful safety's my excuse for everything. So when I start to get closer to my goal I start to become fearful...because holy cow....when I lose the weight I also lose that one size fits all excuse!  Now THAT is scary!

Meanwhile, I'm trying to bring my focus back on that elusive goal.  I enjoyed some nice weather this weekend.  It just made me REALLY long for summer!!!!!!!!!   Hopefully the weather will remain where it's at and not dip down into the 'God Awful' temperatures again.  And hopefully we have experienced our last flakes of snow for the year too!!!!  I'm done with it!  :-)  If that is the case...I don't have the weather excuse. (Cuz you know.....when you are fat and fall on ice it hurts worse!!!  ha ha ha ha)