Monday, July 13, 2020

Empowering weight loss

I drew the line in the sand for my weight loss journey.   I made my plans for weight loss.  I decided that weight loss is a choice that I have to ask myself each I want to eat this and be fat or do I want to eat something healthy or forgo it totally and be thin?   It is working is the question though?

Ask yourself, Fat of Thin 

I can definitely say that asking myself this long term question each time I am faced with temptation has worked like a charm!  I don’t ask myself if I want to I indulge at that moment.  I don’t ask the here and now question., which would be done you want to indulge and enjoy the pleasure or just delay your weight loss journey a day’.  I ask the long term question for you want to eat that and stay fat or do you want to not eat that and get thin.  And oh boy does it work!!!

I knew we had leftover roasted squash in the refrigerator that I had planned to eat for lunch.  I had planned my lunch and I was determined to eat that lunch.   I reached into the refrigerator to cleavage the squash and my eyes lit up.  I saw the holy grail of leftovers!   I saw a container of leftover macaroni and cheese!   Ahhhhh. Just saying the words macaroni and cheese makes my mouth water!   That is what I was having for lunch!   I could eat that with my roasted squash.  No problem!!! I pulled both containers out of the refrigerator.

I even opened the container.  But then I remembered to ask myself that all important question.   Do I want to eat this macaroni and cheese and stay fat or do I want to skip it and stay with my planned lunch which will help me get thin?   

I put the Mac and cheese away. I want to be thin!

Successful weight loss breeds empowerment

I made healthy weight loss choices all week long. I had one or two more close misses, but I stayed solid as a rock with my food choices.  I kept my calories/food budget exactly where I wanted it to be.  And slowly but surely, I have started to see the numbers on the scales start to drop!  I can not tell you how relieved I am.  I can not write words that convey my happiness and excitement!  Yes, I’m excited!

But beyond being excited, I have been infused with a feeling of empowerment.  I have taken control of my weight loss journey.  I am in charge.  I am doing well!  I haven’t felt deprived.  I am starting to see the results. That has filled me with pride and that pride has turned into feeling powerful.   I may only be a few pounds down, but I feel successful and on top of the world!   I have faith in myself again!!!

Friday, July 10, 2020

Choices in a Weight Loss Journey

Last weekend I had my epiphany and drew that line in the sand. I said no more of this sitting on the fence and talking about losing weight and floundering on the scales.  I said no more only putting half the effort into my weight loss journey.  I was going to go all in   No ifs ands or buts.  It was happening!  I am quite proud to say that I did exactly what I said I was going to do.  I got serious.  I got serious and part of my success this week has been by asking myself one simple question.

Do I want to be fat or do I want to be thin?

That seems like such a simple question doesn't it?  Do you want to be fat or do you want to be thin?  It's a yes or no question, right?   You can make it a yes or no answer, but I dove deeper.   Every action that I complete has to have that question applied to it.  

*Should I go for a walk? I want to be fat or thin??
* I really want to eat that piece of cake. I want to be fat or thin???
* You want me to go for a  bike ride?  In this heat!  Are you nuts? I want to be fat or thin???
**Crackers  and Cheese, that sounds so delicious for a snack right now, even though I just ate a snack 5 minutes ago!!! I want to be fat or thin????

My mission is to apply that question to everything I eat and everything that I do.  Is this choice going to make me fat?  Or is this choice going to make me thin?    I started to write this post and I was only thinking about this weight loss choice in terms of my eating.  BUT.....I didn't ride my exercise bike at lunch on Thursday.  I didn't ask myself that question when I made the decision to skip the ride. I'm pretty sure if I had asked if I wanted to sit and relax and work on being fat versus getting on the bike and work on being thin, that I would have chosen thin!   EVERY thing I do applies to this choice.

I have written about weight loss being a choice so many time in the past.  This isn't a new concept for me.  But I seem to have forgotten about it somewhere.  I wrote about it in 2019  in regards to working out.  I wrote about how choosing to wake up early to work out was a choice.  I needed to decide to make the choice to commit to early morning workouts.   It was a choice. It’s always a choice.  The problem is that sometimes, ok most of the time, we either forget to ask the question or we only as part of the question.  We are only saying ‘do I want this cookie right now’. We are not giving ourselves the alternative.   Well sure I want that cookie right now.  I’m not thinking about the tomorrow or eating that cookie!   But if I as myself.  Do you want the cookie and be stay fat? Or do you want to forgo the cookie and work on being thin!   And no..I’m not saying a cookie will make a person fat...but on a weight loss journey we really have to choose our indulgences with care!!!  

Ask the whole question.   Weight loss is a choice.   Every thing we do is a choice and those choices will cause us to gain weight, maintain our weight or to actually lose weight.  It comes down to this, doyou want something bad enough to give up or delay your end result of being thin?   Ask yourself the question.  Do you want to be fat or thin? 

Wednesday, July 08, 2020

Intermittent fasting begins

I am now officially on day three of my nice and simple plan for weight loss.  This is a reboot, a re-commitment to this journey and I’m excited about what lies ahead.

My plan is simple and easy    I wanted to keep it that way.  Less to worry about in the grand scheme of things.  But the biggest change is that I really am excited about this.  I feel mentally strong and capable of resisting the tempting call of the foods that I need to limit. I feel excited about the change.  I wish I knew what caused the change in my thinking.   Maybe it was the thought that came into my head about what would happen if I got seriously injured while hiking and had to be carried out of the woods.  It would take a fair amount of people to carry me. (If that isn’t mortifying, tell me what is?).  Maybe it’s the constant feeling of being weighted down and always achy and tired.  I KNOW it’s my weight that causes that.   I could keep going on and on, but last weekend something clicked into place.     I know I’m only two days into this plan, but let’s see how it is going!

Intermittent Fasting

I have easily slipped right into the intermittent fasting plan that I have chosen.  I am following the 16:8 plan. This means that I only eat within an eight hour window.   There has been no problem with this one.  On the first day I had a fleeting thought at about 10AM thinking about food.  But like I said, it was a fleeting thought.   I still do drink my 24 ounce glass of water in the morning.   And I do put a flavoring pack into it.  (Affiliate links) and I also add a packet of vitamin and mineral powder (Affiliate link).  But otherwise, I haven’t had a single issue with dropping breakfast!

Tracking my Food

I have tracked my food, each bite!  I have managed to keep my calories down near that 1200-1300 goal that I have set!  I’ve even had the calories in my budget to indulge in a sweet treat of banana ice cream one night and a chopped banana with chocolate the other night.

My eating had been spot on!

Exercise and Movement
I managed to ride the exercise bike both days at lunch. I am pushing it hard on the bike.  I have it set so that I’m riding at a resistance level that even while sitting and pedaling I am getting out of breath.  But that’s not all....I push that resistance higher ever few minutes to push myself further.  The resistance is so high that I have to be out of the saddle to push those pedals.   My rides aren’t long, but I’m doing it...and something is better than nothing!

We have also managed to get in a walk on one of the days.  So I’ve not been a total slug!

Healthy Wage
A few months ago a friend of mine emailed me.  She works for the same  company that I do (although a different division of the company and she lives about 8 hours away).  She asked me to join her healthy wage team.   This healthy wage is being sponsored by our employers so there is no cost to join.  But there is a financial payout if we meet our goals.  Sounds like a winner to me!  I was in!    It started at the beginning of July!   I did my verified weigh in just yesterday!  So now I have a monetary reward to work toward!  Oh yeah, that is a win for me!!!!  It goes from the beginning of July through the end of September.   I am so ready to rock this challenge!!!

I am determined, motivated and utterly focused.   The time is now and I need to get this weight off!  Losing weight is definitely a want but it is also a need!  My life depends on getting this weight off of my body!!!

Monday, July 06, 2020

Simple weight loss plan

It is time to draw the line in the sand.  It is time to stop sitting on the fence in my weight loss efforts.  It is time to stop the self imposed plateau on the scales  and start losing weight again.  Now is the time and I have been thinking about it all weekend even while we had a little get-a-way.  We are home now and  I know what I’m going to do.  It is a combination of exercise, intermittent fasting, tracking my food and mental aspects to stay motivated. and of course I’m going to share it all, starting with our little trip and ending with my plans and ideas to get this weight off once and for all!

Weekend getaway
We have had a great weekend.   It was a long weekend so we researched, plotted and planned and figured out a wee little getaway that would still offer us social distancing safety but also allow us to go away for a bit to relax.   What did we do?   We went to Berkeley Springs, WV.   Berkeley Springs is a neat little town and we did go into one or two stores.  But for the most part we explored and roamed.   The state park with the springs is small but we spent a fair amount of time wading in the warm spring.   It felt fabulous on this stinkin’ hot weekend!!!

We of course drank some famed Berkeley Springs water.

And we walked through the museum.

But honestly, the real reason we went to Berkeley Springs? It was one of the only places that I found an outdoor hotel pool that was open!!!  We wanted to swim!!!

We had a great time!   But as I mentioned earlier, the whole time we were there and relaxing, my mind was in a whirl.   I am not happy with my increasingly  pudgier face nor with how my body feels.  I am disgusted with the numbers on the scales and how my clothes fit (or don’t fit as the case may be).   One thought was positive this weekend while I pondered my predicament and that was that it was time to change.  I have no choice!

Choosing to be healthy versus being fat

Ok first of all, I do have a choice. Everything I do is a choice.   The choices I make with my food are choices that allow me to be fat and to possibly gain even more weight.   I most frequently chose being fat with my food choices, at least lately.   Admittedly, I wasn’t sitting there thinking, ohh I’m going to eat  this piece of cake because I’m choosing to be fat. But if I look deep enough I knew the cake wasn’t in line with my goals for living a healthier thinner life. I CHOSE to eat it anyway!     It was my choice!    Every bite I eat I need to start focusing on the choice and I need to put it into words.  I need to ask myself, “is this a good choice for your long term goals of losing weight or will it only give you a fleeting momentary flash of pleasure’.   I know from when I lost the weight before that my energy levels and general happiness and feelings of well being were sky high without this excess I know how awesome I will feel in the long run.  Every food choice is a question of receiving a short term rush of pleasure or obtaining a lifetime of goodness.

Intermittent fasting

I have dabbled with this in the past.  It seems to happen naturally when I am actually going into the office.  For me, the concept of a 16:8 fasting schedule has merit.  I have never been a big breakfast person so it’s not a stretch for me to naturally fall into a 16:8 system of intermittent fasting.   What is the 16:8 method of Intermittent Fasting?  It is the art of fasting for 16 hours and eating within an 8 hour window.  The plan just flows naturally for me due to my own natural tendencies.  But I also like the plan due to the f act that that is calories saves and one less meal I need to worry about!     I have thought about doing a One Meal A day style of intermittent fasting, but I fear that I would lose control and just eat absolutely crazily during that one meal.  For my own personal diet issues, OMAD would not work for me.   

I will also say that I am not going to be super strict about this.  If we decide to go for a big hike or bike ride and leave before my window of eating is open, I am NOT going to stand firm and say “no, I can not eat because it’s not time’. That is foolhardy.  I will break my fast early because I know that fueling my body before those activities is important.

Likewise, I have been talking about my lunch break plans (and we will get to that in a short bit).  If those plans end up to not fall in line with the intermittent fasting method, I may have to adjust.  This is the loose and flowing option in my plan....the one most subject to change!

Tracking my foo
Typically Intermittent fasting  is only eating within the window of opportunity and no tracking is needed.  A person just needs to limit their eating to that available window of time.  But I know that I can do a lot of damage in 8 hours.  So therefore, I WILL Continue to track my food!!  I also know that when I actually track my food that I am so much more cognizant of HOW I am eating and much more inclined to pull in the reigns.

My big thing is my lunch break.  I started last week with a spin on the exercise bike during my lunch hour.  I pushed myself, I was out of the saddle and really pushing myself hard.   I plan on doing this regularly.   My ‘easy’ goal is 3 times a week for 20 minutes of my 30 minute lunch break.  I would preferably like to do it 5 times.  But let’s start with an easy goal of 3!!!

It is a super simple plan that I have set up.  Why is it so simple?  It’s simple because in theory  weight loss is simple.  Limit calories and/or expand how many calories you burn.   My plan does both of those things but is nothing outrageous!  Now it’s time to implement the plan and lose weight and get my healthy life back!!!

Wednesday, July 01, 2020

Setting Goals for Weight Loss

I am a firm believer in the practice of setting goals for myself.  I do this in every day life.  I have to do lists and lists of goals and dreams in the works all the time.  Even more importantly, I like to create goals within my weight loss journey.  There is nothing better than the satisfaction of attaining my goals.  It spurs me on to accomplish bigger and better things!   I have done this for many years and in the beginning of 2019, I started to set monthly weight loss  goals for myself.

How to set a good Weight Loss Goal

When I started to create my monthly goals, I really put a lot of thought into my goals.  I came up with a few ground rules for my weight loss monthly goals

**Not to far fetched and easy-  I wanted to make sure that these goals were somewhat attainable yet still would make me have to push myself in order to be successful.

**These monthly weight loss goals had to be crafted and designed in such a way that if I did have a day or two of not being strictly adherent to my plan that I would not ruin the whole month.  I know that it is human nature to mess up and realize that there is no hope of reaching a goal so we give up.  In a weight loss journey it happens so often.  We mess up with our eating and instead of starting over right then and there, we continue to eat like crazy and say "I'll get back on track on Monday".  OH yes, we have all been there I imagine!  I wanted to avoid that mentality at all costs!

And with those simple rules, I came up with my monthly goals.  I have tweaked and adjusted them from month to month.  I have had to lower and raise the step count accordingly.  When I was NEVER reaching the 10 thousands steps per day, I decided that I needed to lower it to 5K steps. When five thousand steps was too easily attained, I raised the step count to 7500 average per day.  This is a constant adjustment from month to month.  And it works.   Sadly, a few months ago I got out of the habit of a monthly goal.  And that is changing right here and now!  

Monthly Weight Loss Goals

1.  Track every bite of food!  It doesn't matter what the actual results it, I must track.  The act of tracking my food makes me cognizant of my eating habits and seems to naturally bring my eating under control.  I currently track on MyFitnessPal (and not so consistently on the WW application) and would love to have you friend me there. (mfclingan)
2.  Put money into my savings.  Ok, not exactly a weight loss goal, but a worthwhile one nonetheless!
3.  Weigh less than I do now!  I don't care if it's a measly ounce...I want to weigh less!
4.  Do something active (a walk suffices) at least 3 times a week and aim for at least three sessions of formal activity a week!  It could be something as simple as a walk or as tough (for me) as a session on my Exercise bike.  (affiliate link).  What exercise and activity I actually do does not matter as much as the fact that I am moving!
5. Keep my eating in check for at least 6 days a week.   
7.   Walk and average of 5000 steps  per day. (total monthly steps divided by the days in the ride days on the trail are exempt from the 5K step goal, simply because it shard to get  steps when you are riding)  
8.  Transparency with my weight...even if it goes up!!

So there you have it.  My goals for this upcoming month.   Will it be easy?  Probably not.  I have been a bit crazy with my eating of late.  I have been a bit lax with my exercise recently.  In short, I have been struggling.  Step one to stop struggling with my weight loss journey is to set clear defined goals for weight loss.  I have set my goals and now it's time to soar!

Monday, June 29, 2020

I am to blame for my weight

Where has time gone?   I can hardly believe that it is almost the end of June!   In some ways it feels as if this year has just started.  But other ways how much have we packed into the last 6 months!   My weight loss efforts are the same.  It feels like it has gone by fast but wow has a lot happened in this first half of the year.  I made some amazing strides toward getting my health back in check over the last six months and I have struggled.  So here it is, a mid year check in!

Let’s just start with the bad.  My weight.   I started the year at 239.8.   I worked hard and got that down as low as 232 in early March.  I was on fire.  Nothing could stop me.  Well, nothing except Covid and the drastic changes in our life that occurred with the virus.   For us that included me transitioning to working from home and Jason being furloughed from his job.  The stress and changes were not good for me.    Not good at all!   Within a month of these changes taking place, I had gained almost ten pounds!  We went away for a weekend and I was put on some medication on a short term basis and my weight popped even higher.  Luckily, that weight has mostly dropped.  But I am still sitting higher than I was at the beginning of the Covid mess and honestly, right now I’m a few pounds higher than I was on January 1.  

I have been hit or miss with exercise.  Formal exercise each day has been what is hit or miss. I walked at work regularly on my lunch breaks until they sent me home. I ran on my lunch breaks the first few weeks while working from home and then it just kinda died away.    I have made plans to get back to it and even started new routines but then things happen. I was riding the exercise bike religiously in January, and then I messed up my back.     A bike accident derailed  me from yoga.   Plantars Fasciitis struck right when I started to run again.    I suffered numerous falls and tumbles that caused bruises, aches and pains.  It seemed like it was one thing after another to keep me from any hard core exercise!   One stroke of bad luck after another!    Luckily, we took a fair amount of evening walks.  We also hiked and bikes on the I wasn’t totally sedentary!

I can clearly see that the first half of the year wasn’t a colossal failure but it was not a raging victory either.  It could have been much much worse.     There is only one thing to blame for the lack of success.  And it’s not really a thing...I alone at to blame for my lack of weight loss.  I am the only one to blame for my lack of great progress in the fitness arena.  I can see my face getting pudgier and I’m not happy.  But I alone am the one that can change that!!

Friday, June 26, 2020

Relieved....just a bit

We are coming to the end of the week and what a crazy week it has been!   Vacation, breakdowns, return to work, new toys, weight gain and healing just to make a few!  Seriously, this week was nuts! 

We grudgingly came back from vacation on Sunday night.  We could have extended that vacation a few more days and been so happy!  But alas, life responsibilities called.  So back home we came.   Mertz was happy to see us!  The fish too!  (Yes the fish was excited....the hermit crabs didn’t even notice we were gone!).  Ok the fish was probably just hungry!  Mertz really missed our company I think!  Poor lonely kitty cat!  I wrote about the mini vacation in my last post here   But at the end of this post I will include some links to a few videos that I posted about the vacation.  There is one that gives a brief overview of the whole vacation and three other videos that really show in depth some of the places hat we visited.

On Monday, I weighed myself. I had gained 10 pounds in 4 days!  Crazy!   I had hoped that it was water retention!  I am happy to say that my weight has dropped...and right now I am sitting about 3-4 pounds up.  That is still too much and doesn’t make me happy, but it is easier to accept 3-4 pounds versus 10!!!   I am still hopeful that my weight will continue to drop a bit as water weight drops off since I am still on prednisone and will be through Monday.   

My leg that had some poison/bug bite that got infected is doing well.  I have completed the full course of antibiotics and the wound area looks really good.  

What a difference!!!

On Monday my old laptop died.  I knew it was coming for a while and been fighting the laptop for a while.  It was slow...sluggish and crashed a lot.  I was limping along.  I had actually almost purchased a new one a few months ago, so I had already done research and it didn’t take me long this week to hit the buy button when the old one went belly up.  I also purchased what I hoped would be a temporary fix for the old laptop so that I could extract my files.  Both the fix and the new computer arrived on my doorstep on Wednesday evening.   The fix worked!  (Thank heavens) and the new computer is a dream!  I also bought a lot of new software was old old old.  So I upgraded to a newer version of photoshop and I decided to switch from my old video editing software to adobe premiere.  So I am learning a new software.  Should be interesting!  My videos may be a bit rough for a bit as I figure it out. But I can already definitely see a huge difference in the quality output!   See if you can tell which two were created with the new software/computer and which two were on the old software/computer from the links below!

In the midst of all of that, Jason was called back to work after being furloughed for three months. He went back on Wednesday of this past week.   Yes, it was just about three months to the day that he was off of work due to this virus.  So we are trying to adjust to a new routine.  It is a routine of me working from home and Jason going to work.  It is also a routine where he won’t know always be able to walk with me after work.  I’m on my own and responsible for my own motivation to get out there and walk!  (Yikes...I’m not good at that!)   Mertz was so upset the first day he went back to work.  She literally followed me around.  If I went to the bathroom she walked with me.  She was my shadow and was never more than a foot or two away from me. It has been an adjustment.  Even though I have been working at home, Jason and I have been in very close proximity for almost 24-7 for the last few months.   We were happy and had absolutely no problem being near each other almost constantly....but man it’s weird not being together now.

I have walked a wee bit after work...a few days at least.  But I’ve been so caught up in the computer woes (I also tried a fix on the old computer on Tuesday..that didn’t work). So between the death...the attempt to fix...the actual temporary fix.....getting my files safe and sound....waiting for the new computer delivery....setting up and learning the new computer...well, I let my fitness goals I had set for the week fall aside.   There are no ifs ands or buts,  I am hitting it hard for this next upcoming week!  

It was just a crazy week all around!  But craziness is a way of life! We are surviving and moving forward.  We are happy for the weekend.  We have no real set in stone plans, other that get groceries. Who knows what the weekend will bring!!!!  Crazy or relaxing...we are ready!!!

The video for the weekend in its entirety

A video about the Trans Allegheny Lunatic Asylum

A short video on the Museum of American Glass

A video about our visit to an abandoned town

Tuesday, June 23, 2020

Bucket list:

Jason has been called back to work  after a three month furlough.  We wanted to do something special before he went back so we started to talk about what to do.  Our first inclination was to go to the beach since our spring visit to the ocean had been delayed due to the pandemic shut down. However, it was super expensive, packed and well...where we were going to go is having some really bad outbursts of violence. No thanks.  We have our fall trip booked and we will go then.  But that left us with no idea where to go.  We debated and pondered and we just had no clue.  And then less than a week before our mini vacation (my days off of work) was to begin I heard Jason make a remark as I drifted off to sleep.  He said ‘there is so much in this world that I want to see’.   I fell asleep on the couch seconds later... but upon waking, I knew what the plan for the weekend was going to be.

We were going to the Trans Allegheny Lunatic Asylum!  Why?  Because I had ALWAYS wanted to go and just never took the time! His words made me realize that there is so much to see but if we never take the bull by the horns and DO IT, we will never see anything!   Once I mentioned Weston, VA and the asylum he innocently asked how far it was to the New River Gorge...which was something that HE had always wanted to see.  Well it was only one hour further southwest!  Bingo!  Plans made!  Two bucket list items taken care of in one trip!    We have also decided to be more open to keeping our bucket list current and to really commit to knocking items off!!

But that's for the future.  Let’s talk about this trip!!!  We had a great time!   I took tons and tons of pictures!  I was religious about dumping my pictures to my computer.  Less than one day after getting home my computer died!  I have a new one on the way...and I know that the hard drove is intact on my old laptop, so the pictures are not totally gone.  But it’s frustrating, I have so many pictures to share and can’t get to them!  (I have a plan that hopefully will get me to the pictures by the end of Wednesday!).    So here is a recap of the mini vacation and what pictures I do have on my phone (I used my good camera and only snapped a few pics with my phone here and there!).  When I get the good pics, I plan on doing some more videos to highlight certain aspects of the trip.  Right now I just have one video made that I finished one morning in the hotel when I woke up early.  I will include the link!!!

So here we go...buckle up!

Trans-Allegheny Lunatic Asylum:  Weston, Wv.  This is a insane asylum that was built in around 1860 and closed in 1994. It is the largest hand cut stone building in the states...and the second largest in the world..second only to the Kremlin.  It is partially restored and just amazing!  This was soooo worth it!  I don’t know why I waited so long to go!!!
Here is the video with a lot of my footage (and a wee bit of its history). 

Museum of American Glass:  Weston, Wv
While in Weston, I found a museum called the Museum of American Glass.  I was only remotely interested in it.  And I probably wouldn’t have given it a second glance except that the admission price was free!  (Hey, what can I say, I like free!)  I was still debating about going even up to the last minutes in town and happened to look at the website and noticed that they had a collection of  oil lamps.  Hey hey...Jason collects oil lamps, I was sure he would be interested in seeing them.   And then I saw it...the holy grail!  A stained glass dollhouse!  What???  I almost missed that!   There was no question at that point!  Off we went to that museum!!
It was ok...without the draw of lamps and a dollhouse it wouldn’t have been my thing though!!

And of course you know I took pictures of the dollhouse too!!!  

We left Weston and drove toward the New River gorge.  Along the way we saw a sign for the Gauley River And Summersville Reservoir and Jason was like ‘I’ve heard about that’. So hey, why not, we took a detour and checked it out!!!

Gauley River and Summersville Reservoir

This river is well known for its white in world championships have been held in this river.

We explored a bit then hopped back into the car to finish driving the last few miles to the New River Bridge.  

New River Gorge Bridge
First stop, the visitor center.  We knew that the National Park Service visitor center was closed due to the Covid shutdown, but that the trails and overlook were open.  We wanted our first glimpse of the bridge!

From there we headed to an abandoned town....yes a real life abandoned town!

Thurmond, WV

This town was once a boom town due to coal and the railroad.  But as the coal mines stopped producing as much and people turned to automobiles versus train travel, the town began to die out.  The NPS owns most of the properties and you can walk through what is left of the commercial area and you can walk the roads along the hillside and pass house after house...all abandoned.  

(Sorry, the commerce area of town pictures are all locked on my dead and sick computer at the moment! But stay tuned for links to that video when my computer woes are fixed!)

Fayette Station Road

Before the new river bridge was built, it took someone 40 minutes to traverse the small narrow road that snaked down through switchbacks to the bottom of the gorge, across a small bridge at the bottom of the gorge and then back up the other side.  The new bridge shaved 39 minutes off that trip! Of course we had to drive down into the gorge!
We stopped and saw the sights along the way!

Kaymoor Miners Trail
We attempted to hike the Kaymoor Miners trail.  It was gorgeous...and steep!  And of course we saw another waterfall!  (Seriously, if we saw one waterfall we saw 20...each just as gorgeous as the previous one!)

Right at the waterfall, the trail became extremely sketchy and I was honestly terrified!  Lately, I’ve been falling way too much while hiking to attempt something that was risky to begin with.  So we traversed back up the hill.  (Sad because the ruins are supposed to be well worth the hike!) we spent a bit of time on another trial before retreating.

Fayetteville, Wv

We spent some time exploring the town of Fayetteville. It is a really neat little town with lots of quaint shops!

At this point we were out of was time to head home.  But we weren’t done just yet!   While driving home we happened to notice a sign for a monster museum.  I quickly checked it out and it was free.  Why not!  How could anyone pass up a free Monster Museum!

The Monster Museum: Sutton, WV

This was just a little hole in the wall museum.  More a visitor center.  The monster in question was the town alien/monster.  It was free and amused us!!

And that finished up our trip. We still had some time in a car but we were on the way home.   We had a great time!!!  And we will be returning to the New River Gorge Area!!!!

Monday, June 22, 2020

Oh heavens: A set back

Well....let me preface this post by saying that just when I feel as if I am getting things under control, something blows up!   

I was determined to start running and my plantar fasciitis kicked in and I had to almost immediately step back for a bit....I wrote about that about two or three posts ago in this post

In the last post I wrote I mentioned how I was getting back on track with my eating.   And I actually was starting to see some very early positive results.  Ok in 4 days I saw my weight drop by 3 pounds.  That’s positive!!!   In that same post I also mentioned a bit of poison ivy.

Yeah, about that.  

One of the places of poison (and there may have been a bug bite in that same area) somehow got infected.  This prompted a trip to an Urgent Care because the poison was raging strong and driving me crazy and I had an oozing wound in one of the scratching itchy areas of my leg. to urgent care I went.  I came home with instructions to keep the wound wrapped and covered,  a prescription for antibiotics, a prescription for prednisone and instructions to take a picture each time I changed the dressing on my leg so that if it didn’t get better that the doctors would be able to see the rate of spread. (I guess in case it was some flesh eating bacteria!). Oh and absolutely no swimming in pools, rivers or lakes.  

I won’t disgust you with a picture of my infection at its earliest stage when it was still oozing and nasty looking ..but rather after I had been on antibiotics for about 5 days. (Please excuse the legs that desperately need shaved...but shaving over poison ivy and an infection doesn’t sound appealing!)

This happened right as we headed for a little mini vacation  and I was a bit bummed about the no swimming edict but we had a great time and enjoyed ourselves greatly! (Pictures and a recap coming soon). 

So let’s talk about the bad.   We missed some lunches and then would hit dinner starving after a busy day of exploring.  So I overate!   We indulged in dessert every night.  I tracked NOTHING!

I gained 10 pounds in 4 days!   Yes I said 10!

Now this is not an excuse....but rather a hopeful paragraph that HOPEFULLY explains some of this gain.  There  is the female hormonal cycle water retention thing going on. So that could account for a few pounds.    I AM on medication, one of them prednisone which is known to cause weight gain/water retention.   So that could also be part of it. I hope and pray that when I’m off the medication and the monthly ick is behind me once again that some of that weight will drop away naturally. Added to those two water retention problems, we can add in this.... It was also hot hot hot and while I tried to drink a lot, I was going for long periods without the need to pee.  So I know I wasn’t drinking enough.  The first day I went 18 hours...which scared me to death when I realized that it was the next morning and I hadn’t peed since the previous day when we arrived at Trans Allegheny Lunatic Asylum at noon!   I really worked to drink as much as possible the rest of the trip, (and I never went even half as long without the need to pee  as that first day for  the rest of the time away)  but it was hot....we were outside...we were hiking (mountains) and walking and moving which makes it difficult enough to stay hydrated, but I was also trying to recoup from my first day blunder!  But looking back I know that the 4-8 hours I would go between bathroom trips, while nice while traveling, exploring and hiking  was too far between...and yes that was after that first day and I was very cognizant to make sure that I WAS drinking!

But that said, I know that my eating while we were exploring our world did come to haunt me on the scales!  I’m not going to cry about it...we had a fabulous time and I’m not going to beat myself up!  

I just know that I’m going to work to clean up my eating....drink lots of water (lots!!)....and I’m going to move on!  Let’s hope for an easy recoup but even if it doesn’t drop off, I’m not giving up!  Slight setbacks are part of a weight loss journey!!!

Wednesday, June 17, 2020

More maintaining

I am still maintaining.  I would love to say that I’m losing, but it is a maintain. 

It’s frustrating.

I sometimes feel like a failure for not losing.

I know I know.  I can’t let these feelings overtake me.  I can’t let my frustration overwhelm me because if I do, it will derail me.   I know that I’m still here so this is not a failure.  

We have continued to walk after I get off work each day.  However, I have been super busy on my breaks from work and have not started the bike rides.   I have also been trying to really rest to let the heel (plantar fasciitis) heal.   There is a reason for the crazy busy and the drive to heal as fast as possible but I’m not going to get to that in this post!

I have seemingly developed a nasty case of poison.  Both legs have some spots...knees down.  (The left leg near my ankle is the’s oozing and just nasty!).   And I have also developed a spot on my neck.  How fun....not!

My eating.  I’ve been actually pretty good with this.  Have I been perfect?  Well of course not.  Have I restricted and pulled my numbers down to where I should be?  Absolutely.  (and that is why I’m frustrated because I should be dropping weight!) 

You can see on this graph that my eating hasn’t been bad! 

I’m not letting it deter me though.   I am making healthier choices.

Monday, June 15, 2020

Healthy vs weight loss

I made a vow a week or so ago.  I vowed that I was going to be hot on the trial of getting fit!   I was going to go full bore ahead!  There was nothing that was going to stop me!   I was going to run every lunch break (or at least every other lunch!).  Oh yes.  I was going to set this weight loss journey on fire!

The day before my new me work week started we were out hiking and I felt a twinge of pain in my heel.  Oh yes....I did!

Yes, the plantar fasciitis was back!   I have had some issues with this in the past.  I talked about being diagnosed in this post way back in 2013.   And the issue has reappeared every once in a while in posts since then. 

That first bout was the worst.  But since then, I have learned that if I catch it early and take some steps in the first few days of slight pain and then I’m good and it doesn’t last long.  The main thing is that I IMMEDIATELY wrap my foot in KT tape.  (Amazon Associate Link).   Secondly and to a lessor extent, I try to ease up a little on high impact things...but I have in the past continued to run and had no problem!

As soon as I felt the twinge of pain a week ago I knew what it was.  I hadn’t forgotten.  But I was set to start running.  I was determined!   So I ignored the pain!

I didn’t wrap my foot.  And I went out for some torturous first runs...which is harder on my body than ‘continuing’ to run!

By Friday it was bad enough that I could barely put weight on my heel and I caved and taped my foot.

I also went running that day....and it hurt!  You see I wasn’t going to give in!  I had made a vow!

It wasn’t until I was on my bike (and struggling) on Sunday that I had an epiphany!   There are a few facets.  So here they go and you will see how they evolve and grow.

I need to focus on riding if I want to improve on the mountain bike trails.......What a waste that I have that nice indoor bike that I haven’t used in a few months......My foot doesn’t hurt while I’m riding.....My foot sure hurts while I am running.....
Why am I pushing to run at the moment if it’s causing an injury/ailment?.....I could stay inside and ride the exercise bike on my lunch breaks.   That would give me a good 20 minute workout....A bike ride would keep my off my foot....I would be working to improve my HEALTH and not tear myself apart!

And with that, I decided to put my quest to run on hold once again.  I am sure I will restart at some point in the next month or two.   But for the moment, I am going to focus on riding that exercise bike on my lunch breaks! This journey is not about getting to the end result at all costs.  It is about getting to the end result in the healthiest and strongest manner possible!   Stepping back from running is a healthy choice for me at the moment!  

Friday, June 12, 2020

A little bit of this and a little bit of that

It’s Friday and I decided to do a mishmash of things that are happening and that is on my mind. We are going to go from injuries, to weight loss, to my new car to...well who knows what!   I haven’t written this post yet and who knows where my mind will go!  So here we go.

 I managed to run twice this week thus far.  I do plan on going out for a run today, which is Friday. My goal when I started to work from home was to run three times a week!   I only worked four days this week so three sounds like a good deal to me!  It has been rough.  Let me tell you!    I am sooo slow.   I could probably walk faster, or at least just as fast!   But I managed to shave a bit of time off my  mile pace on my second day of being out!

We have also continued our after work walks together.  It is a good time for us.  We get a to walk and we get some time together without the household ‘chores’ and life responsibilities such as making dinner and doing laundry encroaching!    

I am still tracking.  Today made a complete week of tracking.   My food hasn’t been perfectly in line with where I want it to be, but it’s been tracked and I haven’t been too far off my goal.  In fact, if my body lost weight like a normal person, I would still be on track to lose 1 to 1.5 pounds a week just by the numbers.  However, my body doesn’t seem to lose unless I am eating down around 1200 the 1600 that I ate a few days was too much.   And yes, the scales are reflecting that with a maintain.   But that’s steps.  I’m getting back into the groove!

So I bought a new car early last winter   I have been mostly happy with the car until summer hit.

As the weather began to get warmer I turned the air conditioning on...expecting to have the same results that my 16 year old Honda has...which is that within minutes of turning the AC on, I am about frozen out of the car.    This car was not the same.  On a 73° day we felt like it was almost cooler outside the car.   Surely that couldn’t be right.   I have been at home so we really only really get to test it on the weekends since I don’t drive much during the week.  But each week we tested it...short trips...long trips....this setting...that setting.  Last week was mid to upper 80’s and the car was....tepid.  It wasn’t boiling hot....but it was not cold and I don’t even know if I would call it cool.  It was comfortable, on the warm side of comfortable.   So I finally called a Honda dealership to have it looked at.  So what did they find?  ‘It’s a miracle!’  They said the car’s air works perfectly and is blowing air that is 34°. What?    I drove the car home and I didn’t notice it being ‘cold’ even though it was set at the lowest temp....but in fairness it was only two miles.  We will take the car out this weekend to give it a good test.  Grrrr. How annoying!    This car hasn’t even made it to 8k miles yet!    I’m just more annoyed.  I’m obviously under warranty...and the problem has been noted and logged with a Honda dealership at this point.   Even though they kinda made me feel like I was insane when they kept saying ‘there is nothing wrong with this car.’   Hey, maybe I’m just going through menopause and have only experienced hot flashes while in this car and no where else!   Oh no, that can’t be because Jason has been hot in the car also.  In lieu of feeling crazy,  I have decided that if it doesn’t work, that I will be using my GoPro and a thermometer.  I will start the car and the GoPro...take the temp...take a drive and record the boring scene for 30 minutes...and show that the car internal doesn’t get anywhere near where it is supposed to!  Get it on video...why not.  I have the gear and it can’t hurt since they told me the car works perfectly and they did nothing, yet I sweat when I drive any distance in my car while the air is as low as it will go (58°) with the fan on high! (Even long trips). I’m hoping that there was a miracle and the A/C is working perfectly...but I have my doubts at the moment.   Stay tuned!

Aches and Pains
I ache!  It’s no fun!!! My left thigh just aches!   Seriously, just sitting it aches.  The muscle or whatever spasms and I hurt.  Running hurts...walking hurts.  Climbing the two flights to our apartment works.  What’s up with that?    My right arm..that pain from last year...the one that kinda disappeared with yoga is back. Yeah, I need to restart yoga don’t I?  (Which I did restart right before my bike accident and then that caused me to stop doing that for a bit!).   My plantar fasciitis is kicking a bit this week.  I felt it on Monday while we were hiking...and it hasn’t abated at all this week.  Just joy. (Note the sarcasm).   The bike accident injuries are mostly gone.  The ribs do twinge with pain every once in a while as does my arm that was covered in road rash.  

I’m pushing forward though.  I am hoping that exercise will strengthen muscles....stretch whatever to make me feel better!

Weekend plans
As the weekend is upon us we look forward to our time together.   We are hoping to get away next weekend for a bit...but this weekend is grocery week (we go every other week) and probably a bike ride or two.  

Life is continuing on.  I have been just plodding along and just taking it one day at a time.  I’m still working on my weight loss journey but trying to enjoy life to the fullest.   

Wednesday, June 10, 2020

Turning the ship around

It apparently takes a long time to turn the ship around! I of course am not talking about an actual ship but rather a metaphorical ship, also know as my weight loss journey.  

Changes and habits are slowly changing.  It’s a long process, but I’m really trying!!!  So what have I been doing ...both good and bad?

I have now tracked five days in a row!  Go me!  Not all of the days are spot on with my calories but I have had some spot on days!  And what is important, is that I tracked...good or bad, it didn’t matter.  I tracked!

We hiked on Monday.  We were out about two hours.   We also did some geocaching during the day before we hiked.  So we were out and about and moving all day.

On Tuesday I actually laced up my shoes and I attempted to run on my lunch break.  Wow, that was difficult!  My run was slow and I had to give up and walk after a bit.  You see,  I ran the first half mile and then walked the rest of the way.   That’s ok though.  That is the line in the sand showing me where I am.   If I keep doing it, I will improve.

I’m not setting the world on fire with my changes.  I’m not even losing weight at this moment.  But I am comforted by the fact that I am making changes that will turn into success!!

Monday, June 08, 2020

Apparently I’m brain dead and really am weary

So, I have a habit of writing a short sentence about my ideas for future posts...and I put them into a draft and then go back and go back to expand on my ideas a bit later..a few days...a few weeks..whatever!   I did this the other day based on a comment that I received on a post.  Except, like a fool....I somehow published it and didn’t catch my mistake until this morning!  ~slaps forehead~~

So while I was going to wait to write about it, I am going to comment and write about it further right now.   As a side note...I’m not sure where my mind is lately...just yesterday I made macaroni salad I was mixing up the dressing and totally forgot to put in the sugar.   What’s worse is I sat there whisking the mixture to incorporate the sugar that I failed to add.  Eiiyiiyii!

So what is the subject today?   It is how this journey had been so long...and how I’ve grown weary.   A faithful commenter, Paula C. reminded me of this and as soon as she said it, the lightbulb clicked on and I knew that her words were so true...and that what I was feeling was normal!!!     (As a side note, there is no link in the comments to a page of her own...but if there is any Page, I would LOVE to visit it as she always has great insight!).    

I started writing on here 14.5 years ago and my journey started earlier than that!  I’ve had success over the years but I’ve had more failure.  14.5 plus years of this near constant struggle!  That is a long time! This journey had not been short by any means!

I’ve written in the past about growing weary and getting bogged down by the sheer slowness of this journey.     I wrote about it in 2019 and this post in 2016  just to name  two of the multiple times I’ve written about this looooong forever journey.  This is a long arduous journey and it weighs heavily.  And sometimes, I think my mind just has to step back because I become a bit overwhelmed at the long road travelled and the long road ahead!

That said, this weight loss weary girl is still very much wanting to lose weight.  Paula’s comment sparked me to say to myself, your are just feeling get your butt in gear.  I am clawing my way back and trying to find a balance.   I am trying my hardest to track (in fairness some of the lack of tracking is due to just being out of the habit and forgetting to track my food).  I am trying to keep my calorie count low.  I am trying to eat healthy foods in a healthy portion!

So yes...let’s talk about the victories...not the failures of my apparently feeble mind!

*** We got in a 20 mile bike ride yesterday! 

*** I have tracked my food the last two days!  My one day was a bit high in calories...but it was tracked.

*** my heart and mind are focused on losing weight

I am not going to say that ‘I’m back’ at this point.  I know that I’m not. I’m still bone weary from the constant pressure of this journey.  But I’m trying to re-instill these healthy habits into my life.  I’m trying to change my habits and live healthy regardless of my present predicament.  I’m still pushing forward...because if I keep allowing my apathy and weariness win, the journey will only get longer as I gain more weight!  

(And I promised Jason a new batch of macaroni salad next week to go with our cookout...and I’ll nail that batch!)

Friday, June 05, 2020

Hanging on by a thread

So my return to the land of weight loss wasn’t as victorious as I had hoped.

I didn’t go crazy, thank heavens!  I didn’t shovel in food like crazy I remained steady and kept my food intake on an even keel.   I tried to eat intuitively and wisely. 

We did continue our after work walks.  And I even attempted to ride a mountain bike trail.  And it went well!  It was fun.  It was hard.  It didn’t hurt my ribs any worse than a normal ride!  Even the deer came out to applaud me!

However, I tracked nothing. (Well does one day count?)   I lost no weight.   I failed to restart any daily exercise.

I did however finish piecing my modern style crazy quilt!

We also cleaned both cars...inside and out!   Look at this girl shine!!!

I also worked on some smaller dollhouse projects, worked, and just tried to enjoy life!

So where does this leave me?   I am still really struggling to get into the swing of this weight loss journey.  In my heart I am not ready to really restart this weight loss journey and get sucked into the more of it all.  But in my mind I know that I need to.   I know that I need to get this weight off.  I know that I need to work on getting fit again. I know that I need to restart this weight loss journey full force!

I’m here today.  I’m making no promises.   I’m not vowing to start my daily exercise routine.  I’m not vowing to track every bite of food.  I’m not promising to lose weight this week.    I am however admitting that I HOPE to restart a daily exercise routine next week. (We stay pretty active on the work week is where I’m lacking).  I plan to start consistently tracking.  I also still really want to lose weight.   I can do this!!

Monday, June 01, 2020

MIA from my weight Loss Journey

So in case you haven’t noticed I have been missing in action lately.   Actually  I’ve been nowhere to be found any of my social media accounts...or to be more specific I was absent from any and all participation in my weight loss related accounts.  If you stopped by, all you heard were the crickets!  Yup....I was nowhere to be found!

I wish I could say that during my absence that I was killing it on the scales and that I had managed to lose a lot of weight.  However, that is not the case.  This was purely a ‘vacation’ from the constant worry of trying to lose weight, the constant whirl of thoughts about my journey and yes, the Spector of coming back on here once again to say ‘I’m still failing at this weight loss journey thing’.   

Now don’t get the wrong idea.  My little break wasn’t great, but it wasn’t all bad.  So let’s break  it down into the  different aspects.

My weight
I actually didn’t gain any weight during this time of silence.  I actually maintained my weight during the last week or two.  Sure, there were the normal fluctuations that occur from drinking different amounts of water, higher sodium foods, etc.  but my weight stayed within the same pound or two. 

My food
I was far from perfect!  Far from it!  But somewhere and somehow in this little break, I started to naturally regain my footing with some of the unhealthier habits. Ok, let’s be honest here...the sweet treat at night is the big change!  I eliminated that.  (Ok, last night I had once piece of cake...first sweet treat in over a week! And it will be the last sweet treat  until next weekend at the earliest!  Balance!!!)   I tried to eat a simple healthy meals, especially lunches!.  My lunches were an actual sandwich with a side (be it chips, or pretzels) portioned onto a plate which I ate somewhere other than in the kitchen.  They were NOT eaten with me standing in the kitchen, the Pringle’s can open in front of me and just mindlessly eating!  I’m sure my calories were over my zone where I lose weight (for me 1200 to 1400 calories) but in a way maybe I was resetting my habits and food behaviors.

This was not a total failure  either.   We walked every day after work.  Just a mile but at least it was something!   We also managed to get in some bike rides.  They were all on the canal and very easy (the ribs are still tender and healing) but each ride was over 20 miles! 
Ride one:

Ride Two:

Ride three:

So that was more than 60 miles of bike riding in the last week or so!! We also got about 8 miles of walking in, above and beyond the after work walks!
Walk 1, canal walk:  

Walk Two,  laps around the Hagerstown City Park:

The time off was not without thought and conversation about my weight.  There were even some tears.  Because, you see, I feel somewhat helpless.  I don’t like to be this weight.  I’ve been sore and my body aches. I know that it is in direct correlation to my weight.  I know I need to change my lifestyle and I want to it’s just so overwhelming...and difficult!  

But....we did our biweekly grocery shopping this past weekend and I loaded up on fruits and vegetables, ready to tackle this weight problem that has plagued me for years.  I am determined to lose weight.   A new month starts today. This is the perfect opportunity for a new Maryfran to emerge.  

I don’t have all the answers.  I don’t have the solution to the age old problem of obesity.  But I still have the desire to lose weight.   I still have the desire to get back to my lower weight and reap the benefits...that feeling of vitality and health.  I want a life without the aches and pains of all this extra weigh on my body. My little break has hopefully refreshed me and gave me the break that I needed to tackle this issue.  Let the weight loss journey recommence!

Wednesday, May 20, 2020

What is wrong with me?

It started recently.    Well, relatively recently.  January  first to be exact!   My clutzy tendency’s have become scary!  I seem to be falling more and more!   Yes...quite frequently!   What is happening to me???

Now let me get this straight, I have always been a bit accident prone.  But the amount of falls I am having is really concerning.   I don’t know it really just a freak of nature that I’m having a run of bad luck?

Yes, it started January first.   We went hiking on the Appalachian Trail.  We were almost back to the car and I was doing a stream crossing and something happened and I slipped and fell.   We attributed it to us not having hiked for a while and my legs being really sore and didn’t think anything of it!  We continued to hike each weekend and my legs grew stronger.   

I didn’t have any more accidents in January....that I can remember.  But  February brought about another fall!   We were on a light walk.  I’m not even going to call it a hike because it was so tame!   I tripped and went down.  Again?   I was kinda confused...two times in two months.  What are the odds?  

It doesn’t end there though....I fell on a hike in mid to late April.  As best we can figure out, my foot caught on a rock and I went down.    We were concerned at that point because that was accident three in just a few months.   But it didn’t end there.  One week later I had my bike accident.  ONE. WEEK!  

Surely my luck would change!   But no, two weeks after that, just this past weekend I went down again!  I kid you not.   We were out on a light easier bike ride on the canal towpath. (Seriously, I’m still in near constant rib had to be easy).   We stopped to go explore a tunnel/cave.    

I had to go down a small slope into the canal and then back up on the other side to get to this tunnel.   Jason was taking care of our bikes so that I could be safe.  I was being careful.  I swear I was being careful!   I was moving slowly and the next thing I knew my foot slipped on gravel.  I landed with a thud on my butt.   Wow, the fall jarred my ribs (which are still really sore!)!    Luckily, I walked away with only a few scrapes on my arm and my ribs and after the initial rush of pain didn’t suffer any more damage in that area. 

But you can see, these accidents are happening with greater frequency.   Looking back, we hiked a LOT the first year we were together.   I didn’t fall every hike...or even once a month.  I do remember one fall while hiking about two and a half years ago...but nothing else.  ONCE.  One fall in four years.   And here in about three months I am heading toward double digits.  Ok not that close, but enough that I’m concerned.

We aren’t sure what is the problem.  It seems to be mostly when we are hiking.   It doesn’t happen when I’m just walking.  I don’t fall and stumble at the grocery store.  I don’t trip or slip while walking around our apartment.  We walk outside every day after work and I haven’t fallen once!  (Just writing this scares me though...I hope I haven’t hexed myself!!). We originally thought maybe when I get tired my legs just give out.  We have wondered if I’m just not picking my feet up and if they are catching on any uneven surface, rock or tree root.   Is it something to do with my weight...has my weight shifted and has it messed up my balance?  

I just don’t know.  But While Jason has  jokingly said that he is going to start making me wear knee and elbow pads and a full face helmet when I go out, I think there is an ounce of truth to his suggestion!  These calls have got to stop though!   I’ve been somewhat lucky and most of the falls have garnered nothing more than some scrapes and bruises. But I fear that my luck will run out!!!!  I am not giving up on exercise, but I am nervous!!!!!

It is however becoming a more regular occurrence and it is scaring me badly!  

I hate exercise

For a while there, I was actually loving to exercise!   Yes, me!  The overweight gal that prefers to read and do crafts!  I actually loved and craved exercise! But something happened and it is just not my friend any more!

 I was going to zumba and doing as many sessions as I could each week.  (Can we say 4-6 hours of Zumba?). In the same week I was riding my bike, doing exercise videos and running at least 4 times a week.  It was insane!  But I felt strong and healthy!

And then something happened.    I have evolved back into the lazy Maryfran, the ‘I’d rather be crafting’ Maryfran!  Exercise comes when Jason says its is so nice today, we have to get outside!   I go...somewhat grudgingly.  The good thing, I never regret going!   

This past weekend we went out for a bike ride .and I realized that right now I am doing better when I can forget that what I’m doing is exercise.   We went on a section of the canal that I have not been on in years.  I was so busy looking at everything that the miles passed by and I almost forgot that I was exercising!  

Masking exercise in some fun activity is a great way to get it done. 

 However, I want to bring back the Maryfran that couldn’t wait to get out and go for that run. I want to be the Maryfran that wouldn’t skip a zumba class unless I was on my death bed!    I want that hot sweat dripping down my back.  I want that feeling of exhilaration that infused me after a workout. I want it.  But I hate it and dread it right now. 

I swear I’m a hot mess!  How can I want something but hate it?  Hopefully if I just push myself to do it, I will learn to love it again!!!!!!   

So yes, the running WILL soon as my ribs are capable!!!! 

Monday, May 18, 2020

Back to the basics

As I fell off the weight loss wagon I stopped doing some of those most basic things that for me are intrinsic for weight loss.   Well honestly, I stopped doing a lot of things.   But let me start with the most basic items.

The first and most basic thing is water!   I stopped drinking my water.   I stopped really caring.  I stopped even preparing my water for the day.  Oh I would make my flavored/vitamin packet water every morning, but I would only take one or two sips of water through the day.   That is not good.  My minimum goal for the day is 64 ounces!  I am still trying to struggle to get my water intake back to where it needs to be.  But I am preparing my water every morning and I am trying to make a real effort to drink....drink again ...and then drink some more!

The second thing that is utterly basic is the tracking of my food.   I used to have a rule that I would track my food intake, no matter what!   The process makes me aware and cognizant of what I’m eating.  The process and act of tracking grounds me.  It keeps me honest.  It also reigns me in with my eating.   So even if it’s crazy high food intake, I need to track

Those are the two most basic items that I’m working on right now.   I need to have those two things in place first!  It might be enough to turn the ship around.   :-)

As I get those two items in line I will be starting to focus and think more about what foods I’m eating (that comes naturally for me as I track). It then becomes a ‘is it worth it to eat this and use the calories?  

I am working on this!!!

Friday, May 15, 2020

Weight loss failure

I am such a failure at this weight loss stuff!  Seriously I am a  colossal failure!

I swore that this past week was going to be my epic return to actual weight loss!   However, on this official weigh in day, I find myself still sitting at the upper end of the scales!   I have officially gained 10 pounds since our world went topsy turvy!    

I’m embarrassed. So embarrassed!

Why am I sabotaging myself.   Now let’s be clear,  I’m not standing in the kitchen saying ‘let me self sabotage’.  Of course not!   I actually start each and every day with a positive spin.  ‘Today is going to be the day!’   I track my food!   I get my 64 ounce water jug and my flavored vitamin water ready for the day!

I track my breakfast!  I think to myself, ‘I have this!’   And then sometime ...usually at lunchtime, my good intentions go down the drain...or should I say that the food goes down the hatch I shovel God knows what into my pie hole!   Self control flees and I am left with a terrible sense of failure and I don’t track even a single bite the rest of the day!

That loss of self control then gives me the self perpetuating thoughts of ‘may as well go all in’.  Oh you know the feeling.   It’s that sense of saying ‘I already messed up, I may as well just have the good ...but unhealthy foods for the rest of the day...tomorrow I’ll get back on track’. This past week that brought around a situation where I ate a lot of the rolls from our Texas Roadhouse Takeout order.  

It also led to a package of Red Velvet Chips Ahoy cookies.  I recommend NOT buying them if you are trying to lose weight...they are DELICIOUS!!

I indulge and then I am infused with a sense of guilt.  Luckily the guilt doesn’t spur me to give up.  The guilt I feel each night spurs me to start my next day hot on the trail of weight loss.   I prepare my water and track my breakfast!

I can do it I tell myself.   But then it’s like it is a wash rinse repeat deal....and somewhere around lunchtime I lose all vestige of self control!

It doesn’t help that my ribs are still giving me a pretty good amount of pain.  (Will this pain ever end?). So just the thought of exercise makes me cringe.   I have been walking after work....but only because Jason asks me to walk with him when I get off work and when I waffle about going he says ‘I’m going if you go or not...’ and I drag my butt out the door.  (Thank you Jason!). 

I don’t have a magic solution to fix this.  I want to lose weight so badly.   I fear what is going to happen to me if I do not get this under control.  Meanwhile, it’s early morning on the first day of my weight water is prepared, my breakfast is tracked....I’m starting the day and week out strong!