Monday, December 02, 2019

Back on track

The last few weeks of this weight loss journey have been rough!  I have gained a fair amount of weight!  It’s infuriating!  But it is the story of my last few weeks!

Now lets be real here.  I haven’t gone off the rails and eaten thousands and thousands of calories over my goal!  Not at all!  But I have eaten over my caloric goal on many goal is around 1200 to 1500 calories a day.  I have been around 1700 to 2000 calories most days.  So definitely NOT crazy eating!   So I personally feel 8 pounds is unwarranted!  But it is what it is!

Yesterday started a new month....and I’m ready to rock this new month.  Even with lots of weight loss obstacles!   I can do it!

So what obstacles do I have this month?  

* Well first up is my birthday!  (How on the world will I be 47 years old??). It’s hard to say no to my own birthday cake!  My birthday comes with a four day weekend from work...and I struggle more on weekends with my eating!  Oh and we will be going away for a night or two during that weekend!  ~~sigh~~

* Speaking of birthdays...December is birthday month in our family...we have two more birthdays to celebrate!  Three if you count my fathers birthday...though he is no longer with us.  :( 

* Christmas potluck at galore!  

* Christmas Eve...Jason and I celebrate at home

* Christmas Day celebrations with our families.

* A second long weekend...5 days at Christmas...once again...difficult to keep in line on the weekends!

* whatever random celebrations and events that pop up!

So it won’t be an easy month!   But I am determined to lost SOMETHING this month!  I am focused and I can do it!!!

Tuesday, November 26, 2019

Weight loss journey gone wrong

It’s confession time! Uhhh yeah, I think the title says it all!  This weight loss journey has taken a wrong turn!
 I am so struggling to get back on track!  I want to!  Oh how I want to!   I am ready to.   But....woah...I just had an epiphany  while I was writing my confessions.   Like right when I wrote the word woah It all became clear to me!  

I have a food addiction.   Over the past few months I’ve actually had a pretty good handle on my addiction.  I have been in control.  I have managed.  And while it hasn’t been fast, I have been losing.  Queue in the sound of tires coming to a screeching halt!  Yes, and then I hit that wall.  I gained unexpectedly.  I gained 4 pounds unexpectedly!  And I took a mini vacation from weight loss.   And that mini vacation set the addiction free.   

Oh I’m still in the game.  I still am working on losing the weight.  But more of my time is spent in regrets for eating what I ate!   Seriously, I sit there and KNOW I shouldn’t eat something!  Yet a few minutes later...almost without any control over myself I find myself eating said item!  I’ve lost control!

So back to square one.....controlling the addiction!   This is hard work...and a total mental game.  But I know I can do it!  I am going to starting to get myself back under control at the most impossible time....two days before thanksgiving!   Two weeks before my month before Christmas!   But I can do this!!!

Friday, November 22, 2019

What a week!

This week was a rough one!    I just wasn’t mentally in the mind game of losing weight!   I fear what the scales are going to say!

So why was this week rough? start off.   That large weight gain that I feel was largely unwarranted really threw me for a loop and I kinda threw up my hands and said ‘I just don’t care’.   Luckily for me I didn’t totally stop caring...but it was bad enough!   I ate more food then I should have!  I ate mode junk than I should have!   I just stopped caring!  Luckily that mindset only lasted half of the week!  But it was enough I’m sure!   So yeah, I had a bit of a vacation from weight loss this week.

On Thursday my work had our annual thanksgiving dinner.  The company has the main portion of the meal catered and we bring (are supposed to’s crazy how many people don’t feel the need to participate) the desserts and drinks!   I feel as if I did pretty good with my choices...but I did indulge in a bit of dessert!  

Exercise?   It’s cold!!!!   We didn’t do ANYTHING active over the weekend!   I didn’t run after work....but I have a valid reason for not running!    There was some ‘incident’ at our apartment complex!  It was bad enough that they put flyers on all of our doors and sent us all emails advising us that there was an incident and that we need to be aware of our surrounds...uhhhhh ok!  Oh and then it threw in a sentence saying ‘don’t open the door to strangers either’. It was a very could have been any nefarious act!  Jason’s comment was that he wished they gave us a bit more we knew exactly where to be extra vigilant.   Meanwhile...we are in the early stages of pondering getting an exercise bike/spin bike for our house...something to help progress our biking skills/endurance and keep us active this winter.   Problem is...I just bought a car and I’m a bit tighter on my money right now.  Hmmm. So I’m looking at some of the cheaper alternatives to the good ones.   Because sure...if I could afford the peloton bike or Nordic track one...I would certainly go with those!  But....

I have walked outside on a few days during my lunch that’s a plus!!!   

I haven’t given up.  I just hit a bump in the road.  This is part of the journey to lose weight.  And the fact that I got back up and started to care again after my vacation from losing weight is the victory!   I’m still in this game baby!!!!

Monday, November 18, 2019

Out of nowhere

Last week was....well....ok les just get to it!

I had  been training new hires at my job for about 2-3 months.  All of the classes are through training and last week I went back to my normal job.   It was interesting to be doing the actual work again after such a long break.  The first day or two I was still relatively slow with the work but by mid week I had picked up some other projects and tasks and by the end of the week I was so busy that I could barely breathe.  Yup...crazy busy!   It makes the time go fast for sure!  I’m tied to my desk though...not walking around a training room and on my feet all day.  So that was a small adjustment!

The weather turned nasty!  It was cold!   Ok Monday was super nice with the temps in the mid to upper 60’s!  But by Wednesday we had days with a high in the 30’s.   Ok, that’s a wild fluctuation!   And I caved and didn’t walk at all!  Nope!    Furthermore, I didn’t get that second run in after work either!  I thought about it...but the cold really played a number on me!
So this week...this week I am doing it!  I’ve got to!!!

I did a thanksgiving collaboration video last week.  It is where a bunch of you tubers get together and all post videos of similar things.  This collab was a lightened you thanksgiving dish. We all chose a dish (or two) to make that was healthier than the original version.  I made a caramel apple salad (more desserty than anything....8oz cool whip, small box of butterscotch instant pudding, large can of undrained crushed pineapple, two apple peeled and chopped....mix it all together....makes eight servings....72 calories a serving) and I ate it in 4 days.  So about 150 extra calories a day.  Not the end of the world right???

When I stepped on the scales for my official weigh in I was sickened!  I gained a lot of weight!  Like over four pounds!    What?  Nope, it’s not that time of the month!   And yes I counted my calories.  I was a bit high...I aim for between 1300 and 1500 calories a day...I was right at about 1700 calories for a few days. So not crazy high.   And not high enough to warrant a 4 plus pound gain!  Crazy I tell ya!

Admittedly I gave up a bit the day that I had my weigh in.   Seriously...why bother when the scales are going to do what they want to do.  But that day was only one day (and my normal cheat day/ not too out of the normal) and I am back on track.   (The scales went down a pound after that ‘I don’t care say’. But not by a whole bunch).  I’m still in this.   I have really important reasons to lose weight.  Most importantly my health...I want to be fit and healthy....but I have valid reasons and a definite goal for some weight loss....which is unnamed and secret now...but hopefully be revealed sooner rather than later!!!

A more clear view of my last week and my exact weight (I am laying in bed typing this and can’t remember the numbers of my exact gain). can be seen on my YouTube channel. So that’s the latest report in my weight loss journey.   Back to work today!

Wednesday, November 13, 2019

Surprise...I did it!

I know I know...I sometimes make bows and don’t keep them on here...but on Monday night I kept one of my vows!

I have been saying that I need to start exercising during the work week...and Monday night I took the first step.

Yes...I went for a run!   Oh my was slow!  My arthritis in my knee has been kicking for a few weeks and I wasn’t sure how it would go.   But I didn’t dwell  on that and just went out.   I only did a mile!  It wasn’t pretty but I did it!    Ohh and while I was slow I was running/jogging every step of the way!   Go me!!

The weather has taken a sharp nose dive since was about 60° when I ran on Monday is about 20° right now.  But I plan on doing something tonight or tomorrow night...two nights a week!   I want to run...but I will allow myself to default to the stair step thing that I have...20 minutes on that should suffice!

So here we go!   I can do this!!!  Exercise is my friend and will bring me close to my long term goals!!!

Monday, November 11, 2019

A Loss!!!

I had my official weigh in on Friday!  I can't even write an opening paragraph.  I need to get right to it!!!!!!

I lost weight!   The week before I had gained some weight...and I knew that it was mostly water retention from that icky time of the month......but I still showed a gain.  Even so, when it came time for me to step on the scales I was so nervous! 

WOOOHOOO!  I lost weight!!!!
No more words are necessary! 

Ok, yes there are.  I am SOOO close to reaching that 100 pounds gone mark......again....but I am just as excited...or even more excited this time around!!!!!  Somehow, the first time around 100 pounds gone didn't really register!  I'm not sure how....but it did!

Anyway....lets celebrate!!!!

Wednesday, November 06, 2019

When the going gets tough the tough gets going

 When the going gets tough ...what does MaryFran really do?   What do YOU do??

A few weeks ago we stumbled upon a series of videos on YouTube.  They are created by RaceFace....which is a company that has quite a few products for naturally these videos are about mountain biking.   (Search for Race Face....and it is the creator series).    These videos are so incredibly well done.  The production is top notch and the content is inspiring!

The content would be inspiring for anyone that was watching, even though they are about mountain biking.  Most of these videos have a similar plot/concept.  They are about a place or a person that has faced unimaginable loss and has persevered to overcome the obstacles that their loss has brought them.

There is the story of a mountain biker that through an accident found themselves in a wheelchair...or without a leg....yet they found a way to get back on their bike and ride the trails. Or maybe you want to hear about a gal that had a routine surgery that left her with nerve damage, unable to walk and in constant pain....yet she relearned to walk and the video picks up when she decides to not let her injury/disability stop her...instead she signs up for a 7 day mountain bike race..  Those  stories don't strike you?   What about the very small, isolated town that suffered a landslide and lost 50 town members in about 6 seconds.  The town was so small that everyone suffered the loss of at least a family member or a close friend. In an effort to honor the lost they created world class mountain bike.  All of these stories...they could have shrivelled up and went deep inside themselves due to the loss.  They could have allowed these tragedies to turn them bitter.  They could have given up and/or lost the will to live.  Yet they pushed forward.

Somehow....someway I think I am missing that little piece of personality that those people had.  You see. When the going gets tough......I tuck my tail and flee.  I lack perseverance. 

How many times have I started a weight loss journey.  (or should I say restarted)   I have written about a restart on this website so many times!  Yet look at me?  Am I thin an svelte?  NO.  I don't persevere!  I give up when it gets difficult!

I say I have a book or two floating around in my head that needs to be written.  I have even started them.  Yet are they done?  Do I have a finished product....even though it has been YEARS!  (I just have this one finished product....)

How may things have I tried.  Running?  Yup.  Biking?  Yup?  What in the world is my problem?

I was seeing incredible success on the bike.  This summer I was pushing myself and I didn't give up.  I was working to get up a hill on my mountain bike.  I failed but went right back to the same place the next ride and tried it again.  I tried it again for a few months.  And guess what?  I did it!  I had success
 I headed for my next hill.....and I kept going back until I could climb that and I had success again.  I was ON FIRE!  And then October came and I had a few bad rides.  Ok...almost every ride in October was bad.  Yes, I shed some tears on one of the rides.  (The video honestly cracks me up...because yes, we got my meltdown on video). 
What changed within me to go from September and awesome riding to October and pitiful rides?  I do not know.  But my will to persevere seemed to disappear.   I want it back!  To be successful, you need to have perseverance!  Luckily my perseverance in my eating and keeping that under control is still alive and well.  I am still eating within my calorie range and feeling pretty good about what I'm eating.  I"m not losing weight fast...but I feel in control and I really do like that feeling. But that drive to push myself and to keep going when it gets touch on the bike trails......that is slipping.  I need it back!  Any suggestions would be appreciated!

I need to live up to the mantra...when the tough gets going MaryFran gets going!   I have it somewhere deep inside me.  I think we all do.  we just have to find that missing piece and start using it!