Friday, October 18, 2019

Hanging on by a thread

Friday!!!  Yay!!!

I feel like I am barely hanging on.   Ever since vacation I feel as if I am flying by the seat of my pants and just barely!  It is an odd sensation.  I normally do feel exhausted as my week continues...but right now I just feel as if I’m pushing forward and getting nothing done...just scraping by.   I am getting dinner cooked on the evenings...most days.   There have been more ‘let’s just  order delivery for dinner tonight’  evenings than ever!  The house looks a wreck!   I’m just feeling as if I don’t have time for anything!   I don’t know what the difference is and what changed to make me feel like this ..but it is really starting to annoy me!  What’s worse?  I don’t know how to fix it.  Does anyone have a few spare hours to give me each day?

I have been doing well with my eating.  I have maintained my food intake within my calorie count.   At the top end...but I’m there!   I don’t eat a whole lot of complex carbs (I know that I don’t lose well if I do). I am feeling balanced and in control of this food addiction.   But my weight is just hanging steady though...which is super annoying!  It is bringing on lots of ‘I’m a failure’ feelings.   Do I really have to go online and report another ‘stand still’ or worse a gain report with my weight.  Seriously, it’s driving me crazy!!!  I have tried to tweak my food a bit this week to bump me into the losing category.....I took out one fruit  and switched it to a vegetable for my lunches......and I have ended up ravenous and not satisfied after my lunch...as in scrounging through my wallet looking for change for the vending machine ravenous!   I found the money...but I came to my senses and realized that junk food from the vending machine wasn’t the ticket.  I instead scrounged in my desk drawer and found a granola bar that I kept there for ‘emergencies’.  The next day I took a new bar to replace that one and ended up eating it instead of putting it on my desk drawer.  All week long.   So that’s just odd to me!!!

I have walked on my breaks...as much as I can.  I’m working on training and I don’t have prep time...so I have been spending my lunches printing materials for the next day.  Since I am training I am on my feet all day though!!!  That’s good!!!  We get bike rides in on the weekends but during the week not at all....and I get frustrated because I know I would progress so much faster should I be able to have the time to ride on the trails during the week...but.......

But that’s where I stand....kinda hanging on my a thread.   But I haven’t give up working on my health!   I’m still in the game!





Tuesday, October 15, 2019

Fears about a weight gain

My first official weigh in after vacation happened this past weekend.  I was showing up 2 pounds exactly.   I had hoped for better!  I had wanted a maintain.  Yet I was ok with the gain.    I knew going in that I was going to live my life and not focus on my food.  I still chose healthy options at times....but I also choose some unhealthy options at times.   I was completely satisfied with my food choices. 

So while I am ok with my weight after vacation....I still find myself panicking.   I go back to the first official post vacation weigh in shortly after I reached my goal weight.   It is the vacation where I started my backwards slide!   Yeah, this one.....  I know it’s not the same....but my mind goes there....what if I never recover?  What if I never lose the weight and start regaining?  What if I end up back at 330 pounds?

I am eating right....and we did go out for a ride this past weekend and I have started walking on my lunch break again this week (ok yesterday...but it’s a start)




I know...my fears are silly...but my weight is just not dropping quickly...but it hasn’t this time around.  It seems as if I drop a half pound then maintain for a week or two and then drop another half pound.   It’s still progress but it is slooooow!

So that is where I am at!  Worried...panicked....just plodding along and staying on track for this weight loss journey!

A video of last weeks progress can be found here....



Friday, October 11, 2019

Relief

This week is almost in the books!   Thank heavens!

It had been a rough one.   I came back to work and the vacation and then return to work really emphasized how I have utterly no work/life balance.   I knew it before...but a week of vacation made it a blaring issue!   We are talking and trying to figure out some sort of solution!   We know that’s not healthy!

My sun poisoning is still hanging around.   Here is what my arms looked like about 8-9 days after this issue cropped up!  So they are so much better in this picture.

This picture was taken on Wednesday...so they look a bit better now!

My body just aches!   I was so tired all week long...and my body just ached!  My legs were quivering in pain by the evening!  It was crazy!

By mid week I gave up and started wearing not only jeans to work...but also tennis shoes.  I do sometimes wear jeans but not tennis’s shoes....keeping my outfit on the more dressier side of casual. But I was trying anything to heal...anything to feel better! So tennis shoes it was!

Food wise...I did good...it was steady for me to get right back to ‘normal’.  Being a creature of habit came in handy.  You see...I just followed the ‘normal’ routine and went back to my healthy lunch...my light breakfast...I just packed and did what I had already been doing for months before my vacation!

I was leading training this week at work.   That could have affected me a bit in terms of my lethargy...but who knows.   But by Thursday night I had decided that the kitchen was closed! Usually I am so tired that I close it on Friday’s...this week I couldn’t even make it to Friday...I closed it down on Thursday!  I didn’t even fuss about the delivery fees!   Because yes..I am cheap frugal and try to pick up our food if at all possible to save that money!  (Seriously...8-10 bucks for delivery fee and tip each time adds up!!).  But last night I didn’t care!   I would have paid 20 bucks to have it delivered!  I fully expect and plan to do the same tonight...well tonight is a Friday tradition!  

I am hoping that a weekend will be just what I need to knock the tiredness and hives/rash/sun poisoning out of my system and bring me back to 100%!   This is not just weight loss...this is a fight for living a healthy life!   It’s time to take care of me a bit more before I get back to my daily walks and exercise!!  But I’ll be back!!

Whatever...I have made it to Friday!   

Wednesday, October 09, 2019

Real life

So it is the beginning of day three of being back to real life.  And let me tell you....it’s not been easy!  I am back on track with my weight loss efforts though!  That has been relatively easy!

I went back to work on Monday ...I came home from work and was so tired that I felt like a zombie!  I felt like I could barely function! I slept like a log that night and hoped and prayed that the good night sleep would do the trick!

Nope!  Tuesday night I came home just as exhausted. It is crazy!

My legs just ache each night also.  Now in fairness, I am back to working with the new hires and leading the training for them...so I am on my feet all day. So that could be part of the feet thing.

  But still.....yikes I just feel so wiped out and achy!

The sun poisoning is still present.  It seems to be fading a bit though. I’ll be happy to see the end of that for sure!  Meanwhile, I keep coating my arms with lotions and potions!

Food wise, it was pretty easy to get back to normal. Going back to work really did force me to return to ‘normal’.   I simply packed my normal breakfast and lunch and just ate what I packed when the time came!   The only thing that was a bit trickier was the sweet treat after dinner.    I have indulged and had a banana with chocolate syrup each night!  (One night a fresh banana and the second night a frozen banana puréed into ice cream consistency.).    I’m ok with that...because seriously, a banana as my sweet treat!?   That is healthy!!!  

So far my weight is not dropping.  But I know it will....eventually!

So there you have it...the struggles of my life this week!  

Monday, October 07, 2019

It's Over

Boooooo  vacation is over!  I don't want it to be over!

We had a FABULOUS time!   We went to Ocean City, MD for a week and we had a blast!  We enjoyed sunrises, long walks, long bike rides and some wonderful time together!  I'm not ready to go back to work!

That said, My weight is up by about 3 pounds.  I'm not happy with that, but I do think that some of it is external factors that is causing my weight to be raised a bit.  What factors?

* my bodily functions are not exactly normal....vacations do those things you know!
* I had a bit of a situation where I was either severely dehydrated or having an allergic reaction.  My hands swelled up so bad that my rings didn't fit on ANY Fingers....not even on my pinky!  It hurt to move my fingers because the skin was stretched so tightly!  (It was accompanied by a weird rash and burning sensation on my lower leg.....small 2 inch patch on my leg).  The swelling went away by the end of the day...the leg still burns a bit. 
* On the last day at the beach I picked up a case of sun poisoning.....how crazy is that for October?  I know that sun poisoning (I"m not really sunburnt....so it's odd) and sunburn cause inflammation and inflammation can cause weight gain!.

So is the 3 pounds real?   Who knows...next week we will know for sure!

In the meantime.....here is a video of our vacation!

And if you won't want to watch the video...a few pictures.







Sunday, September 29, 2019

Monthly Goals and Weekly Weigh In

So another month has passed and it is time for a recap of my monthly goals and of course my weekly weigh in results.

First of all, lets talk about my weekly weigh in.


For this month I set some goals. (typically my goals are similar each month).  You can read about the recap from last month here.    For September I had the following goals:

September goals:
1.  Track every bite of food!  Done with no issues whatsoever!
2.  Put money into my savings. Easy.....although my savings is taking a hit right now as we are on vacation!  LOL (but part of the savings was designated for vacation funds)
3.  Weigh less than I do now!  I don't care if it's a measly ounce...I want to weigh less!
4.  Do something active (a walk suffices) at least 3 times a week and aim for at least three sessions of formal activity (bike ride, run, hike) a week!    NO problem at all.  I think I only missed 2 days of walking on my lunch break ALL MONTH LONG!   Not to mention the hikes, bike rides, yoga....Yeah, I nailed this one!
5. Keep my eating in check for at least 6 days a week.   
7.   Walk and average of 5000 steps  per day. (total monthly steps divided by the days in the month....bike ride days on the trail are exempt from the 5K step goal...cuz it's hard to get  steps when you are riding)  This was completed with no problem!   Even when I included our bike days.  The bike days we have typically gone out on a short hike, or treked through the fair or around town...so those days were actually pretty high step days also...or at least 5,000 steps.  I also walked on almost all of my lunch breaks....so I totally smashed this goal!
         My Not so Secret Goal Lose 5 pounds!    OK, so I didn't do that.  I was about half of that 5 pound mark.  But that's ok!  I still lost!

I am going to count this month as another successful month.  These 'rather loose goals' that I CAN achieve are designed to push me into a healthy lifestyle.  They are not designed to have me lose mad weight each month.  And they are doing exactly what I want them to do.  They are allowing me to live my life but be in charge of my food and health. They are teaching me balance and moderation.  And for the first time in so many years, I am happy and pleased with where I am in terms of eating and living healthy.  WIN!

So this month is a wrap.....it's time to move on to October!  My goals for October are the same.  Hey, they work for me!   I am not sure how it is going to go...we have vacation time this month and...well...I KNOW that I am going to indulge...but I also know that I'll be really active!  I am ok with the indulgences, they aren't going to be overly crazy, but I know that this is life and if I don't life live I will ultimately give up this healthy lifestyle journey!  So moderation....balance...and sometimes just saying 'it may be a gain' is ok.  I am however hoping that the crazy active vacation will negate the extra calories!  :-)

Friday, September 27, 2019

Excitement!!!!

We are in the homestretch now to vacation! It is Friday morning as I write  this and vacation is only a few short hours of work away!   We have been working a bit each evening to prepare everything for our departure.   We will finish everything tonight after work and have one more night of sleep in our own bed before heading out to the beach for a week of listening to the waves crash, the  sounds of the seagulls squawking  and the smell of salt air!   The weather is forecasted to be wonderful!   Mid 70’s to low 80’s during the day! Perfect for being outside all day long.   The crowds should not be there either which makes us happy!  

So what does this mean for my eating plan?  For one, I   I will still be counting calories the whole time...every bite I eat will be tracked!  But I will not be  eating like a Puritan! My eating plan is to live healthy!  That means that while I do make healthy choices for ‘most’ of the time, that  I also don’t forget to live on occasion!   At the beach that may look like sharing a bucket of boardwalk (thrashers) fries.   It might mean an ice cream cone....but it also means healthy choices for  most dinners or lunches.  Typically in every day life my balance is more 95% healthy and 5% treat. (But still within my calorie budget) ..and it works for me...I’m losing slowly but I’m satisfied and feel in control emotionally!  (And honestly don’t even feel as if I am trying to lose...I’m usually not panicked about eating something or not eating something...I just go with the flow and it is working!). I know that for this upcoming  week my balance may be a bit more 80/20. And I’m ok with that!  

The GOOD thing about vacation?  When we go to the beach we typically park the car and don’t use it again until the day we leave!  (At the most only VERY sparingly). We get around by shoe leather express or bike!   We are also on the go from sunup to sundown.  I know a few years ago when we were there (without our bikes so it was all walking) we walked about 12-15 miles each day.  When we take our bikes we usually are out riding for 3-5 hours each day and then walk the rest of the time.   We discovered the hard way on one trip that we were actually not eating enough because we were burning so many calories. (Every symptom of hunger hit and not being used to those feelings we thought we were both getting sick!). So I am hoping that the heavy activity negates any indulgence!!!! I am hoping for at least a maintain! 

If you are gasping right now at my weight loss plan for vacation...just remember...at the fair the other week, I passed up the funnel cakes and fried cheese and all sorts of other goodness that the food venders were selling.  Know you know why.....I knew that vacation was around the corner and I wanted to save my indulgence for something truly special!  This is planned!

Either way, I’m not going to worry about it...vacation week comes but once a year.  My weight loss journey is not being forgotten. It is being put on the back burner for the week...attended to enough to maintain my weight but ignored enough to allow me to live!   That is the key to success...managing and adjusting to life and picking your indulgences....