Monday, March 04, 2013

Where is MaryFran????

I've been keeping track of my weight since Friday.  I weighed myself for the start of the new month.  I saw that it was going to be a tight loss month.  I wasn't surprised.  I had a huge loss last week.  I watched my weight everyday through the weekend......I held steady. I watched carefully because the monthly ick was actually due to start late last week...I waited and watched the scales (for anyone reading this that has no clue what I'm talking about I'm unlucky enough that the monthly ick is usually precipitated by a spike in my weight...water weight...but a spike none-the-less).  I drank my water like a fiend....trying to forestall that weight gain.  I just didn't want to see any weight gain.  The ick did start...and I didn't see a huge spike (YAY).  My final weigh in result for this week....I lost three tenths of a pound.

Part of me is super frustrated with my 3/10ths of a pound.  Seriously only three tenths of a pound?  By the calorie my efforts, the loss should much higher!  It frustrates me to no end.  There is a small part of me that screams to stop.  But then I think about what I want out of my life.  There are places that I want to go...clothes that I want to wear.   A life that I want to lead.....and I want to lead it as a thin person.  I know that my inner happiness should allow me to lead a happy life as a fat girl.  My happiness is not contingent upon my weight.  Inner peace and happiness comes from within my soul and I know that.  Weight has nothing to do with that inner happiness.  But dammit...I WANT TO BE THIN!  And I WILL be!  I"m focusing on that desire and pushing through the disappointment that lurks within me at my eensy tiny weight loss (even though I did somewhat expect it).

 Soooo, we are being told by the weather forecasters that we need to batten down the hatches because there is a better than good chance that we will be getting hammered with snow mid week.  I've heard conflicting reports of how much snow we will be's anywhere from one foot to two feet.  When you are with that much snow does it really make a difference between one foot or two?   haa haa haa     So the craziest thing occurred to me today.   As they predict the snow to hi, part of me has that hope that work will be closed at least one day.  That is the good part.  But then A panic sets into me and my heart stops!  You see, it messes up my exercise plans.  I am on a roll.   How will it mess up my exercise plans?   Well,  if it is snowing Tuesday night early enough, I will have to forgo Zumba on Tuesday night.  If it's snowing on Wednesday that evening of zumba will be canceled.  Getting to the gym...a half hour drive away will be impossible too!   Even worse?   If we get a foot or two of will I go out and jog on the roads on Thursday (which is my run day...and it's a 22 minute straight run)???    Yes, I'm worried about my exercise plans.  That said, I have come up with an alternate plan.  I do own an exercise bike and I figure I will hop on the exercise bike and ride an hour here an an hour there.  I also will be spending time shoveling the that is good exercise also.  That plan calmed my racing heart and helped to push down the panic about zumba and not being able to make it to the gym at least.  However, the missed run is just really freaking me out!!!!!!  I don't want to get off track with my running!  I'm doing so good!  I need to do my runs!

  Yeah, who is this girl?  I have no clue where MaryFran went and who has replaced her...but it's kinda scary!