Friday, November 02, 2018

Finally: still plodding forward

It’s Friday...finally!  It was an ok week in terms of life.  Pretty standard and, eat, sleep and lots of driving.  It was a rough week in terms of my health and the new lifestyle that I’m attempting to make a habit.

So my week in review.......


I totally fell apart on Wednesday.  100% fell apart.  I just didn’t care.  I was disgusted with where I am...what I’m doing.  Disgusted with the fact that my calories consumed are not that crazy yet my weight continues to be an issue...meaning I’m not losing.   Within my disgust...the addict in my came out and I ate.   I ate was halloween!  I had to right?     Wrong!  I didn’t have to...but I did!   On Thursday a felt a bit stronger and did a bit better, but I was still not doing fantastic!!!

Who knows my actual calories this week. Because tracking?  I didn’t do it!

I was looking low last weekend on the scales.  My food was in line over the weekend and I was super active on Sunday.   And then on Monday my weight was super high.  And remained super high all week long.   (Thus the eating meltdown on Wednesday). 

I don’t believe I knew what that word meant this week!   None...nada...zilch!   After the rough bike ride on Sunday, I just sat back and coasted. I didn’t even walk at work!

So there you have it...a rather poor showing of a week in the life of a person trying to change her life to be healthy.   The difficult week made me question my reason for even trying AND my mission in writing on here.   I’m feeling a bit better...and feeling more ‘love for myself’ which makes me want to get this right and in line....but it’s an ongoing process!!!  But right now I’m just struggling.  The plan is to make it through the weekend....without any binges...without any major food upsets and maybe...just maybe with a victory.  I need a victory!

We shall the meantime...I’m still trying!  I’m not giving up....I’m still writing my shameful embarrassing posts that show lack of success.

But hey...I can’t end it on a bummer like that can I???  So let’s just remember that ...
1. I am still head over heels in love. (And loved  back the same way...which is even more incredible!!)
2.  My cat is healthy and loves me...and she is honestly a hoot...we laugh at her antics daily!
3.  I have a job that supports me (likewise for Jason)...and with that comes the thankfulness for the rood over my head and the food on our table.
4.  Life is still going...I’m still capable of changing and making a my life and in others!!! wise it was bad...but life IS good.