Friday, February 20, 2015

Checking in

Well, here I am again.  I feel fat bloated and just miserable.  Why oh why do I do it to myself?   My parents eat so differently from what I am used to....just getting meatless food sometimes is difficult.  It's not stubborness, it's just not thinking, 'cooking the spaghetti sauce in the pan that you browned the meatballs is just as bad as adding beef to the sauce because of all the little itty bits of beef left in the sauce!'   I feel bad because my parents are nice enough to feed their wayward daughter so I eat it.  grrrr.  But that is more of a personal preference.  The issue that I'm REALLY struggling with is the sweets.  My mom bakes so there is always stuff here.  No one forces me to eat this stuff.  I'm doing it to myself!  Yet I seem to lack any kind of will power to resist!  

That said, I am doing just a tad bit better.  A tad.  The leftover chocolate icing still gets me every time.  :-)  But hey, at least I'm eating the homemade chocolate (delicious) icing on a banana and on strawberries!

The diet soda's still an ongoing issue as evidenced in the picture.  Buying a super sized fountain drink wasn't enough, I had to have a spare can handy!  This has gotta change too.  Today I bought a britta water bottle.  Maybe this will help me with the water consumption!  (Plus it had the ounce marks and I loved that on one of my old water bottles!)

Maybe this water bottle will do the trick!

I keep wondering if weight watchers

Running....uhhhhhh I'm paying the price for not running consistently after I ran the 10k back in October. Yeah, I was so sore after my previous runs. And it's SOOOO freakin' cold to be out there running my sluggish and oh so gorgeous training runs where I can barely make it two miles!

Why yes, I actually ran  in 17 degree weather (it was actually colder, I was done running by that time!  I was actually not freezing cold until the last 1/4 mile and then my stomach felt like it was a block of ice that if I got an ice pick I could chip off.  It was tempting but I was pretty sure that was not the best way to lose weight!

Meanwhile, I'm playing the piano and  lovin' on my kitties.  Trying to keep the errant and crazy emotions at bay.  (don't think that's working too well!)

Monday, February 09, 2015

And we are off!!!

I'm not going to say it.  I refuse to say it!  Seriously!   If I say that life seems to be settling down, something will happen.  A cat, a dad, another cat, a marriage, a job.  SOMETHING.   So I'm just not going to say it.  Infer away....I'm just not going to say it.

I actually had a somewhat active weekend.  Lots of walking.  Lots of activity.  Lots of movement.  I didn't eat 'too' horribly, but I knew that I needed to buckle down.  So as of this morning, I am back to tracking. I've got three hundred calories for  bit slim pickings for dinner. (however, I haven't eaten my apple and I am stuffed so I may be able to add 65 calories back into my food.  That said, I ran this morning. (more on that later) and I plan on doing zumba tonight.  So just my morning run netted me some calories that I can consume and not kill my 'budget'.   SO I'm back.  Working it.....or rather going to try. 

The cakes, pies, pastries, oreos, chocolate icing and just BAD (but oh so yummy) foods that are plentiful at my parents house are a thing of the past.  I can resist.  I WILL resist.   I've got this!

Running.  I ran the 10k back in October and I was proud of myself for completing it.  I vowed to work on speed....and then promptly fell apart (coincidentally right in step with when my marriage fell apart.....ironic isn't it?).   Earlier last year I had agreed to run a 10k with a friend.   In late November she texted me to let me know that the price was going up on Dec. 15th and that if I wanted to do it to jump on it.  I got the particulars that I needed to register and I was ready.  I made plans to start least 3-4 miles each week so that when it was time to really dive into training that I would be ready.   Oh yes, I made that plan.     The last time I ran?   January 1, 2015.    Why yes, I seem to have skipped a full month.  And lets be honest, December was spotty at best.  November was non-existent as I moved and the latter part of October was shot as I struggled with my decisions.  So here I am....beginning of February and I haven't run.  Not to worry, not to worry.  Plenty of time before my 10k!    On Friday it hit me.  This 10k is CLOSE  as in about 8 weeks.   Or so I thought.  In reality, 7 weeks.  Uhhhhhh  yeah, this is NOT going to be pretty.   I did a fair amount of walking on Saturday and I planned to be out on the canal a bit in the morning on Sunday.  Perfect!   Walking to limber me up and then while I was out on the canal I could just swap out shoes, throw on the headphones and take a wee little jog. This would be perfect as I usually do a ''benchmark" weekly jog on the canal to assess my progress....flat, no traffic, no stops and in the summer mostly shaded.   PERFECT!  I would get my first jog in and give myself a starting point....a benchmark so to speak.

I had no grand illusions.  I knew that it was not going to be a brutal run. Oh yeah, I knew it.  My goal was 2 miles.  I HOPED to make it two miles.  I was going to be happy with whatever.  We have to start somewhere.   I am proud to say I made it the two miles that I set out to do.  It actually wasn't that bad.  I'm not going to say it was easy.  I"m not going to say it was fast.   But I did it and it didn't kill me.  Slow....but I completed it.

Riding high on my success, and with this end of march 10k looming, I made plans to run this morning.  2 miles.  that's all I wanted to complete. I laid out my workout clothes last night!!!   Running clothes and warm stuff for my jog and exercise clothes for Zumba.  Notice I didn't lay out clothes for work...did I just let everyone see what's important to me???

  My friend Paula joined me.  It was a bit cool......

Ok, it was cold.   And it was a bit rainy.   And oh my word, my body is SORE.  I walked a fair amount of my run today.  It just wasn't happening.  But I was out there and I was moving and I'm on my way!

So here we go again!

Monday, February 02, 2015

Wow....what a week

I made my last post.  I was on top of it.  I was changing my habits little by little and things were looking up.  And then.  Seriously, isn't there always a 'but then.."

I knew that my father had been having headaches and that his condition was worsening.  I knew that on Thursday (the day of my post) that he had a doctors appointment.   I figured that he was having migraines again (he had them when I was younger) or that it was something else (he had shingles once and had horrible headaches from that).  So I wasn't concerned.  My worry ratcheted up a notch when my mom let me know that they were taking him for an immediate Cat scan.   My worry exploded into absolute fear when my mom called shortly after the Cat scan to tell me that the doctor had sent the immediately to the ER.  Dad had a subdural hematoma....most likely resulting from a fall on some ice back in November (yes, dad is a very lucky blessed man) The pressure of the accumulated blood was causing the headaches and creating the disorientation and other symptoms.   We all met at the hospital and waited.  Surgery can correct the problem (remove/drain the excess blood thereby relieving the pressure) .  There was a has been on blood thinners ever since he had a stent put in for his heart issues.  BIG issue.    To do surgery while someone is on blood thinners is inviting more bleeding...the very thing we were trying to correct.  Decisions decisions (for the doctors...we were at their mercy).  Dad was admitted to the hospital where they watched him closely and gave him meds to help with the swelling and the pain and meds to avoid badness from happening (anti seizure meds).   It was a waiting game.  It was riskier to do the surgery versus wait under the blood thinners had worked out of his system.  Dad was a bit disoriented and loopy at times (pressure on the brain does that) ..and while it was HORRIBLE to see, it was funny.  We passed the week mark and the doctors decided the risks had been significantly lowered and decided to operate.    The surgery went well and we all breathed a sigh of relief.  He is now home and while he looks like he was in a horrible fight (and lost) because of his swollen head and the black and blue eyes and cheek, he is on the mend.   We are continuing to pray as there is a chance of further bleeding and that could necessitate another surgery (without the long wait this time as he is off his blood thinners....minimally they like to wait a week....optimally two weeks).

Sooooooo  lets just say that MaryFran's eating the hook!   Fast food, donuts, late night eating, coming home exhausted late at night and having a dinner of oreos!   Why yes, I did say oreos.  (my mom's wonderful chocolate icing was a really good dinner and snack also!)   Today was the first day that I drank water. The rest of the time it was pepsi, or dr. pepper.   Hey, at least it was Diet drinks!

I'm reigning it back in. I didn't go to zumba tonight.  I ended up falling ill on Sunday. Ok, not really falling ill that was so melodramatic and I couldn't resist.  The exhaustion from the week and a half in the hospital was not the cause of my headaches and eventual sore throat.  My sinus' were draining and really did a number on my head and I just kinda crashed.  I was still sluggish this morning and decided to not go.....figuring that not over extending myself was a wise choice for today.

Soooooo, my world has YET to settle down.   My life has YET to be calm.   My life is still falling apart....and I'm starting to wonder if I should put a sign around my neck that says "come near me at your own risk!"

Meanwhile, the cats are doing ok.    Holding their own.  :-)