Sunday, February 09, 2014

What doesn't Kill you Makes you Stronger

I woke up and knew that I had to get my run in early.  First because Todd and I were planning on doing something during the day.  Secondly because it was supposed to start snowing later in the day.  And thirdly...if I don't get it done early the odds of me doing it all are start to diminish.  I was actually sitting on the sofa waffling about going when I saw a facebook post by my friend Tim over at Reflections in a Murky Stream      He decided that he was going to cheer for everyone today.  It was just what I needed to drive me from my couch and out onto the road.

The run was brutal today.  It snowed/sleeted the whole time I was out there.  It was cold, my eyes were watering and I was seriously wondering if my tears were freezing to my cheeks.  My fingers were numb inside my gloves.  But all of that was minor because about one mile in my legs started to ache.  My muscles tightened up and just plain hurt.  I didn't let it stop me. I ran onward.  It didn't kill me.  :-)

While I was out running I made a realization about myself.

I have been using the website (and corresponding app on my phone)  I actually really the website.  It is easy to use.  It's easy to add recipes that I make.  There are tons of saved nutrient calculations so almost anything you want you can find an estimate (or the real calorie count should it be a commercial item).  It keeps track of any number of nutrients, water consumption, exercise and weight changes.  There are communities that you can be part of.  It really is a great website.  My problem?   They keep track of the days that we log into the website.  And every few days they post "maryFran has logged in for such and suh amount of days"   This is a good thing, I guess.   However, this morning on my run  I made a startling discovery.  The ''MF has logged in for *** days" is actually a deterrent for me  Its a rule....a chore...and something that makes the trend of logging in daily rough for me.

Yeah, I liked it when my stats were saying "MF has logged in for 180 days"  but when I was out sick with the flu in July and I was puking my guts out, yet I still picked up the phone just to log on....I didn't add any food because I didn't eat anything and I certainly didn't exercise!  I picked up my phone an logged on just to maintain my streak.  How wrong is that?  Day two of the sickness I didn't pick up my phone and ruined my streak.  Yup.  Ruined...done!

The streak being ruined by something as simple as the flu...the stinking flu totally caused a sense of disillusionment for me.  I didn't miss tracking anything I just didn't log on!  There have been other days too.  Days where I'm just busy  I'm keeping track of things in my head and I enter it the next morning...but I don't do it 'on the same day' so my streak is broken.   It would infuriate me!    I was focusing on having a high 'days tracked' number. Numbers and rules.......

  I have thus far shied away from setting strict "rules of engagement" for myself.  I haven't said I will do such and such and I won't do such and such.  I have goals but I was very careful to say I will reach the goal whenever I get there.  I didn't put time limits upon myself.    At the beginning of last year I didn't operate under rules and I didn't operate under set time limit goals. I just DID it.

This year was different.  I set up strict rules.  I WILL track such and such times a week. I WILL drink my water.  I WILL do this and that.  Seriously?   That doesn't work for me.  I'm going to TRY.  I'm not going to keep track of my days on target and my days of tracking and my days of this and that.  It's not important.  What is important is that i'm having lots more days of being good than bad.  It's important that I'm getting as many fruits and veggies in each day.  Do I need to be strict and say I WILL eat 5 (or 6 or 7) a day???  NO...  I'm going to eat as many as I can.    5 days of exercise a week?  Sounds good. But it's not a set in stone rule anymore.

I have my goals.  I have my challenges.  I know where I want to be.  I will get there.  I will get there by living and being me.  I will do it by changing my life without the rules.  I will do it because I am changing my life NATURALLY!