Tuesday, March 29, 2022

Dirty Butt and Weight Loss

​I have been meaning to write.  Honest engine!    But life is not slowing down.  It is crazy.  No, we haven’t found our dream house yet….but not for lack of trying! And wow…just wow!   As if the house hunting isn’t enough angst….weight loss is not moving in the right direction.  Honestly, the stress and worry is not doing wonders for my weight loss efforts.  I have long admitted I wear my stress…..and that is holding true!


So let’s start with the house hunting!

We have been touring houses!  A few here and there.   It seems as if the longer we search the worse the houses get.  I kid you not.   At the very onset of house hunting we saw multiple houses that interested us and we even put in an offer on one of them.  But the last house hunting mission has  been the pits.  We saw a house that was so damp and wet in the finished basement that all the doors in the basement were swollen and would only open a crack, and I struggled to get my oversized  body into some of those rooms.  Or the roof that according to the listing was only 6 months old but was obviously older and leaking!  Yes! The attic area rafters were so wet and rotten that if you touched the wood you got a handful of rotten wood that would fall away.   No thank you.  Maybe I should talk about the house that was filled with beds.  Every room.  The people didn’t vacate and all sat on their beds staring at us as we walked through.  And my word.  The house reeked of dirty butt.  I know…I know, you can clean  and paint over dirty.  And I am open to that. But that house also had some major issues with the structure.   Let’s see, there was the house that was absolutely fantastic.  Tons of space (over 3000 square feet) and huge rooms.  But it ended up being in a bad neighborhood (which I suspected before we went…but I was hoping it would have been a half mile or so further down the road in a much nicer area.)  still don’t believe me?   Maybe the house that had space heaters because the furnace was inspected a few days earlier and had been inoperable and unsafe. Wow.


We are open to cleaning and some minor painting.  But we will be tapped out financially for a bit (gonna use most of not all of my accessible savings for down payment and closing costs) and can’t afford a ‘fixer upper’ that needs immediate repairs.    Our realtor is fantastic.   She works part time as a home inspector.  So she points out little things that we would most likely miss.  She doesn’t push to talk about how wonderful these pieces of junk houses are.  She points out features and either tells us things like Ohhh look at this…that is - new furnace….or ohhhh that looks like it could be a problem.     


So I know that my prayers will be answered and that the perfect home for us is out there and will be revealed in the perfect time.  But I have to admit that I am really having to constantly remind myself to keep the faith and believe.


Weight loss

So what is happening with my weight loss?   Absolutely nothing.   I have been indulging.  Nothing way out of control.  But I’m not perfectly inline with where I need to be either.  Tracking you ask, what’s that?  64 ounces of water?  You have to be kidding me!  I’m not doing what I know needs to be done.   Luckily my weight is fluctuating in the same 2-3 pound range and I haven’t gained crazily.  But I’m not losing either!


I know that stress is driving me towards the food. And while understandable, it is not ok.   But then the vicious cycle starts.  I eat and feel stuffed and guilty and like a failure and that just makes me turn to food to assuage my emotions.  Which in turn brings more angst.  And then I think again about house hunting and you got it, I turn toward food.   Luckily I don’t eat every time I turn toward food.  But the desire is in my head. It’s my comfort and my mind craves that comfort in these times of stress and upset.  I don’t always cave…I sometimes can stand firm.    Either way, I’m not doing the greatest.  Luckily this far I’ve been able to at least hold steady…but I have to make the change and fix myself…my mind in terms of food and my weight!


So that is the scoop!   Crazy times.  House hunting and work…(which is also still crazy but I’m really working on not letting it get to me…not an easy task but I’m trying).  Life is crazy and while we sometimes don’t have any control over the speed that this rollercoaster of life brings to us.  What we do have control over is how we react to the dips and valleys.  That is what I need to focus on.  Remembering to rely on my faith and belief in the power of prayer is one thing.  The other thing is to stop feeding my emotions…and hopefully if I stop feeding the emotions literally my mind will get with the program and stop dreaming about feeding my emotions!