Tuesday, July 15, 2008

.A dream is make believe until blood, sweat, and tears turn pain to will.

Still feeling blue. But both my husband and I have had a song stuck in our heads since we attended a concert last Wednesday night. It is a song by Chicago, named Stone of Sisyphus. I didn't know all the words but decided to look it up online here a few minutes ago. Well.......I also decided to read a bit about Sisyphus at the same time. To paraphrase, in Greek Mythology Sisyphus was a king that was cursed to have to move a huge stone....and every time he got it 'just about there' the stone rolled back down the hill and he had to start again...and he did this for all of eternity For a more full explanation (and because I probably totally butchered the story) you can check out more here. That struck a chord, because isn't that what I'm doing....I"m rolling that stone up the hill and right when I get it close I lose control (sometimes my fault and others through no fault of my own) and that stone rolls backwards again. And I have to start again.

So anyway, I read about this and pulled up the actual lyrics to the song by Chicago. The song really hit a nerve with me. Especially the line A dream is make believe until Blood, sweat and tears turn pain to will. Hello weight loss..that describes it to a tee! I started out with a dream and it truly had been blood, sweat and tears!

Anyway, here are the lyrics, and check out the song, I put it on my sidebar for those of you who may care to listen!

Tomorrow is teasing me.Time seems to run away from the future.But this could be that lucky day.A dream is make believe until Blood, sweat, and tears turn pain to will.It's gonna take some doing for me To show them the way.I'm gonna take the stone of sisyphus I'm gonna roll it back to you.Building a wall of stone.Sometimes you know what's right Sometimes wrong is better than nothing.They cast a stone so heavy to turn.I believe in a love so true.I believe you get what's coming to you.We get so tired of living a dream For some other day.I'm gonna take the stone of sisyphus I'm gonna roll it back to you.Wall of stone around the two of us.That only angels can break through.Looks like it's another of those long nights.Will we always be alone?Let's not stop before it's done.I'm gonna take the stone of sisyphus I'm gonna roll it back to you.I'll take the stone of sisyphus.Wall of stone round the two of us.I'm gonna roll it back to you.

Feeling REALLY blue and depressed

I'm totally down and depressed. Why you may ask? My weight. It's just creeping up for apparently no reason. I was up about a pound and a half today!!! Yeah, I had a sliver of low fat cheesecake last night...I had the points for it! I guess what makes it worse is that the last two days I've made some difficult food decisions and WON the battle with them. The two major things that I'm talking about are the salad when we went out on Sunday versus the heavenly looking and smelling burger and then having a taco salad with minimal bad stuff last night instead of the taco's that I would have preferred. Don't get me wrong, I've actually been satisfied with my decision when I've eaten those meals. And I would have said that they were a worthwhile sacrifice. Will I say that it would have been my first choice? NO, but I was ok with it. SOOOOOO to see my weight go up each day has just been totally demoralizing. I'm up just about 2 1/2 pounds! That does not make me feel as if those sacrifices were worth it at all. I'm just bummed out about it all!

Oh yeah, and then the mower saga...that continues. Last week, it was supposed to be resolved. The check should have been her by tomorrow. Yeah, I wasn't totally happy with the resolution..but at least it was going to be over. OHHHH no....they called me yesterday...the check is on hold. Today when I was finally able to get a hold of them she said that she wanted to work on something different. HELLO! Yeah,I'd like it resolved so that I'm not being screwed out of $400 bucks (the difference in the total price of what I paid for the mower and package.....versus what they want to return to me)...but at this point I just want it to be over. I'm tired of dealing with these people! When I got off the phone this morning, I'll admit that I just wanted to cry. I tried to hold it together, but I'll admit that I let a few tears of frustration and encroaching depression escape.

Other than that....my day is fair to middlin'. Todd and I went for a walk over on the battlefield early this morning before the heat hit. We are planning on touring a different gym tomorrow...one that is closer to our house.....AND $21 cheaper. It doesn't have all the amenities that ours does...so we'll have to see. Personally I'm to the point of saying that we don't use our gym much because it's out of the way....lets save money and be closer to home to boot..because that would probably make us more likely to use it! We'll have to see. At least we are looking into it. That's more than I got when I first broached this subject a few months back. Also on the docket for tomorrow is mowing my parents place. I'm hoping that the weather will be nice so that we can head out with our bikes and get a nice ride in somewhere. We are talking about driving up to Cumberland and finishing up the last section of the canal that we've never ridden up there. Speaking of the canal. Todd and I would eventually like to bike the whole canal continuously. IN the meantime we are working at biking it piecemeal...one bit at a time. From Roughly Dickerson west on the C&O canal, we have biked it all except for some stupid 10 mile stretch at Cumberland. SO we may try to finish that tomorrow. Who knows.