Thursday, March 07, 2013

Heaving + Running = fun times

I was on cloud nine when I got to work after my walk yesterday.  Seriously.  I was feeling on top of the world.   Yeah, I did have a bit of a blister on the bottom of my foot, but that was just an annoyance but otherwise all was good.  I had conquered and won a self imposed challenge!  And then the menu for lunch was dropped on my desk.  I had made waffles for breakfast at the house before my trek into town.  (waffles with berries and a strawberry syrup).  I didn't need much food. I had planned a light lunch because of that.  But the bank was I ordered 1/2 a turkey sub.  (a little higher in calories than I would have normally chosen after the waffles, but still OK)  My manager went ahead and got the whole sub for me (it was the same price..winter special).  I wasn't upset. She talked to me before hand and I had decided that I would just eat it for lunch packing alunch  needed.  It would be in the fridge at work waiting for me.  All was right in my world.  I pulled up MPF and put my food in. Uhhh, I would only have 300 calories for dinner.  But I made my plans. 

I texted Todd and had him pull a steak out of the freezer for himself.  I planned to make mashed potatoes and veggies.  I would eat a small amount of potatoes and then load up on fruits and veggies.  I was A-OK with that.   But, best laid plans.......

Todd texted me back a little later and asked if I would mind if he made some kind of stir-fry with his steak.  Well of course I didn't mind.  I was still planning on making the potatoes and veggies....but then I thought about how easy it would be to simply eat the other half of that sub since he was making his own dinner.  I knew I didn't have the calories in my budget.....well, I would if I used my earned calories from my walk and only be 10 calories in the negative.  Soooo I planned to do that and just be OK with using all of my earned new plan was in least until after I had that 1/2 sub for dinner and I started thinking about how I wanted something sweet  last night.

Ohhh yes I did.  I had a 245 calorie dessert.  245 calories that I did NOT have the calories for.  This is definitely the FIRST time I have gone over on my calories  that badly since shortly after Christmas.  I ate a total of 1764 calories for the day. (I'm aiming for 1250 a day not including my earned calories)  Hmmmm  In the grand scheme of things still not bad.  (and honestly, still in the losing range of caloric restriction even with those extra calories utilized) But not where I want to be.

On a good note, I was only about 20 ounces of water into my day when they went to pick up lunch.  When I ordered I was very quick to say "And A diet pepsi please!!!"  That is probably only the second or third time I have drank a diet soda since I restarted.  I won't lie, it tasted heavenly!    BUT...the good note?  I finished up that diet pepsi and then I went back to water and I STILL completed my water consumption goal for the day!

I refuse to beat myself up over it.  I slipped.  I've tightened the belt and I'm marching onward!  Part of the Shazam plan is realizing that these kinds of days WILL occur. (Was it just the snow and the 'off day'?  Was it part of the munchies that go along with the monthly feminine  ick?   I don't know....and it doesn't matter) Realizing and accepting that these days happen takes the pressure off when it happens. The trick is just recognizing it and knowing that it can't happen all the time.   That pressure being gone makes me just rejuvenated and ready to rock it tomorrow!

This morning I woke up and laid in bed.  I really toyed with options.  I had excuses galore why I couldn't run.  Seriously..the roads might have patches of ice...after all we did have precipitation yesterday.  Todd wanted breakfast...and I do try to play the good wife role even when I'm frustrated at things in the marriage. (and he is working tonight and I do try to make at least one meal each day).  Excuses excuses excuses.  I finally settled on the fact that I would make him breakfast (and me too) and THEN go on my run.  Today was a 22 minute straight run.....that is why all the excuses were pouring through my head.  Fear fear fear.  (I am beginning to hate that word...even as I smash it to smithereens!).   

I made a somewhat nutritious breakfast...nicely well rounded.  For me I had an egg and cheese sandwich and hash browns. (Todd had more and cooked differently..but I don't like eggs, I have to disguise them if I want to eat them).  I cleaned up and slowly changed my clothes.  I decided to run down my road this saves the time driving to the battlefield (which is only a couple miles away...but still).  I started off.  The first half of my run was marked with a malfunction of my running app (the C25K music shut off and I couldn't fix it).  Not a problem...I ran without music.  I used that time to pray.  The app is supposed to notify me at the half way mark (and when I'm on my road doing an out and back run I turn at that mark).  I ran...and ran...and ran ...and finally gave in and looked at my phone.  Dang it...I had missed the half way mark notice...but the good news...I was already 13 minutes into my 22 minutes.  I fiddled with the app and miraculously got the music going again.  Thank heavens.  The music started and something that I had been ignoring for a while started to rear it's ugly head.  You see...that food that I had for breakfast was sloshing around in my gut.  Yes....sloshing and it was not a good feeling.  At about 14 minutes in I was heaving.  It wasn't much...just nasty.  I spit and kept going...without really even breaking my stride.  I won't lie....part of me wanted to quit.  But I KNEW why I was feeling queasy and ill.  It was because I ate food very shortly before going out running.  I finished that 22 minutes and by golly I went an extra 30 seconds of running...just to prove it to myself that I could!   I wasn't letting anything keep me down.       And lets just say....LESSON LEARNED!  Breakfast AFTER run...never before! (although the string cheese before a run seems to work really well)

I will I am filled with self doubt about my weigh in that will be upcoming on Monday.  Freaked out for some reason.  (I prewrote the first half ...about my eating yesterday, last night...and was feeling good).  However, this morning I'm panicked.  Partly because of my extra 250 calories yesterday and partly because it's looking like I'm not going to get the level of exercise in this week that I have been getting.     Deep breath in....deep breath out.  This is life.......not a race.  Accept whatever happens and move on because regardless of what my mind is yelling....I AM doing what is right, good and healthy for my body! (on a side note...I read one of Jillian Michaels books a few years back and she actually recommended that you have a higher caloric day once a week to keep your metabolism 'guessing' and burning).

That said, my eating today is totally planned out!