Wednesday, January 09, 2013

Fact, Fiction and myth

Even in the midst of this crisis that has me reeling in my personal life, I'm walking with my head up.  I'm walking with more 'swagger'.  I have lost 4.4 pounds since the new year.  That is fabulous!  But those four pounds have not changed me.  What has changed me is that for the first time in a while, I actually have taken control of myself.  I am not letting my addiction beat me down and take over all decisions in my life. I am taking control of myself.  And it feels GREAT!   My confidence in myself is blossoming!  It's amazing how being in control makes me feel better about myself.   The fact of the matter? The more I can manage this, the more the confidence blossoms.  It's like a  snowballs, it keeps growing!

Todd and I have been saddened.   A long time client at our business has passed away.  He died from obese related illnesses.  The diseases and illnesses started out simply and kept compounding one upon another.  He actually tried to get gastric bypass at one point but his obesity had taken it's toll on his body and he needed to lose a significant amount of weight to try to erase enough of those effects to make him a candidate.  About two years ago, our client was told by his doctors that he HAD to lose weight.  His weight was killing him.  There was nothing they could do to prolong his life.  It was HIS one else could save him.  His close friends held an intervention.  But sadly, he had given up and nothing could change his mind.  He passed late last week  from obesity driven diseases and illnesses that ravished his body. He was close to my age, in his early 40's.      It's sad.  It's also a reminder to me that my excess weight and my bad habits really CAN kill me.  It is not a myth....weight DOES kill!

Yesterday my food was spot on and my hour of zumba was a killer!   I noticed a change in myself during zumba.  I've been going to my class religiously for years.  Last night I was halfway through and I realized that in the last year or so I've only been going through the motions at my classes.  Last night, automatically my body kicked into overdrive and I put my all into it.  I don't want to hex myself, but I think I really have turned the corner and I'm ready to DO IT!

Emotionally, I'm holding it together.   Health wise, I'm rockin' it!  Eating is spot on (even my macaroni on Monday night was not a disaster. It was unplanned and definitely not necessary but in the grand scheme of things it only threw me 100 calories over my low daily goal...1411 calories for the day is still fabulous!).  Exercise is rolling.  I'm focused.  I'm motivated.  Like I said, I'm rockin' it!