Wednesday, October 07, 2020

Food addict

 It took me a long time to admit that I really was a food addict.  I didn't want to admit something like that.  I didn't want to admit that I have a problem and struggle to control myself.  How embarrassing!  But I eventually did admit it!  

I had a few moments where I was confused and concerned about the fact that my mind didn't seem to be hardwired like other people when it came to food.  But nothing clicked until the Hoss Cake Incident.  The Hoss cake incident is where I ate a tiny piece of cake and I heard the angels sing.  I was able to really realize that I got a bit of a euphoric high when I ate something that my mind deemed delicious.   I felt that high and I kept chasing after that high, trying to retain and recapture that feeling.   Food is my high and my source of euphoria!   

I have often talked about how a food addiction is hard to overcome.  I can't just stay away from my temptation.  I have to face my addiction each time I sit down for a meal.  Three meals a day I face my addiction.  Each time I put food into my mouth I wait for the angels to sing.  I wait for that high.  I don't know when it's going to hit or what food will cause that feeling.  But when that feeling comes, I want it.  It is so blissful and euphoric that I can't help myself.  I just want to continue shoveling the food into my mouth to keep that feeling.   

I can't just avoid the temptations.  I can hear those angels sing for any number of food. It might be a cheeseburger this week.  The angels might not sing for a few weeks and then I will eat a piece of cake and it will be absolutely beautiful and euphoric.  The next high might come from something as simple as a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.  It is difficult!

I have three tips that I TRY to use as much as possible in an effort to avoid and conquer against this demon of an addiction.

1.  I try to avoid foods that I think will cause me to feel that euphoria.  I don't eat Reece's Cups all that often because I know there is a higher chance of losing control.  I try to eliminate as much temptation as I possibly can!

2.  Straight up Willpower.  I try to force myself to think about the fact that I know that losing control is the response of my addict addled brain.  I know in my brain that eating more and more and more of an item is NOT going to make me hear the angels sing forever or even retain that euphoric feeling.   I try to employ every ounce of willpower that I have.  DO NOT EAT THAT FOOD MARYFRAN!  It's a brain game!

3.  Celebrate the successes.  When you do start to gain control over the food addiction, a sense of pride in your accomplishments will overtake you.  Allow that feeling of pride and success wash over you.  Allow your mind to revel in the success.   And build upon that success.  Start realizing that you CAN do it and that you have done it (even if just once) and that you WILL do it again!  Build on the successes that you have!!!

Food addiction is hard one to work with.  But it IS possible to navigate and beat!  It just takes perseverance and persistence in your efforts!  I will be fighting this for the rest of my life.  But I am determined that I WILL succeed!!!!!

To watch my video on this subject....