Wednesday, August 21, 2013

It's all me

About two years ago I decided to take the steps to follow through on one of my bucket list items.  Which one?  I decided that maybe just maybe I could complete a triathlon.   What had sparked me to think more deeply about this was the fact that CNN was calling for videos for their next batch of triathlon wannabes.  Yes, I made a video.  I was hopeful.  I wanted it.  No, I didn’t get selected.  And I threw in the towel.  I had attached a savior mentality to CNN’s role that I had hoped that they would play.  CNN was going to be my savior.  In my mind they were going to swoop in and save me from my own obese demise.  I was looking for a savior from a life of obesity.
I see this savior mentality over and over again in my ‘travels’ through the world of health and fitness.  The most frequent place to actually see this mentality is on shows like “The Biggest Loser” and “Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition”.   For the most part, the participants on those shows are barely living. They have given up.  They are too enmeshed in their obesity to help themselves.  They are waiting for a savior to ride the white horse into their lives and fix them.  Time and time again we watch these people get the news that they are picked to transform their lives.  We hear them babble about how they can’t do it without Chris, or Jillian or Bob…their saviors.  They are so happy because their savior has entered their life.   And I’m not discounting the work that these trainers are doing.  They ARE invaluable and if I would have ever been brave enough to send in a video and gotten picked I would have been just as excited and would have loved to have their expertise and support. I probably would have been no different; I would have seen them as my savior from obesity.  I would have placed so much importance upon these people.
I wasn’t picked for CNN.  I never had the courage to send in a video for any of these obesity busting shows.  I didn’t have anyone ride in on a white horse to slay my obesity.  I’m glad.  I needed to learn that my salvation from obesity can’t come from someone else but from deep within myself.   It is all me.  
So what do I think about the CNN thing? I’m toying with submitting another video later this year if they decide to continue on with this storyline/project.  The video will be MUCH different.  I won’t be looking for someone to slay my obesity for me.  That is all me and I’ll make that clear.  It will be a video talking about how much I want this so that I can continue to strive to be the best me there is.   But you know what?  It’s no longer a matter of life or death in my mind.  I don’t need someone to hand me salvation from obesity.  I already have that deep inside myself.
Yesterday I kept my eating totally under control.  I got my exercise in and I was very close to my goal of water intake. Today I’ve already been out on my bike and my food has been planned for the day.  I am planning to go to zumba tonightand life is good.  I’m working this…and I know that I’ll see results!