Friday, August 29, 2008

thoughts on my current status

Is it even physically possibe for someone to lose 2.2 pounds in one day? That's what I did. Who knows....who cares. I'm just going to continue 'working the program' an whatever happens happens. I worked so hard to make lifetime (just got it a few weeks ago..thanks to a doctors note) and now I'm stressed about keeping it. It's not worth it. If this is my bodies sweet spot, the weight that is 'perfect' or my body, then it's ok. I'll just bow out of going to the meetings. It truely isn't worth being stressed over, constantly wondering if I'm going to be 'under that mark' and worried about it. It's ok. I know the program. I can do continue this on my own. That said, am I giving up? NO, I'm still going to try to get my weight to shift downward. Optimally, I would LOVE to continue going to the meetings. And I can look at my body and see that there is more work to be done. But if this is where God wants me...then I'll stay here....and even if I don't atttend the meetings (due to my 'sweet spot' weight being right on the line of where I can be to maintain my lifetime status) then I'll be forever grateful for weight watchers for helping guide me in the correct direction and giving me the tools to continue this for the rest of my life.

I've been at this weight for just about a year now. It's really frustrating. For most of that time, I've exercised religiously, 6 days a week. (there have weeks here and there that have seen me fall off the exercise band-wagon, but never for long...and few and far between). I've made healthy choices with my food. (yeah, this is a lifestyle, I've splurged here and there also). But lets look at this in a healthy light. I've kept a whole lot of weight off for a YEAR. I didn't balloon back up 30 pounds and then lose it to get back to where I am now. I've kept each and every pound off. Well, within my preset 5 pound allotment. (I decided a while ago that I would be ok with my weight flucuating up 5 pounds from my lowest). I've only gone over that 5 pound flex allotment 2 or three times. Once was last year at was a week of christmas parties coupled with a a surprise birthday party for me...oh and a mini vacation the same week. And then this week I'm over my 5 pound allotment. How far over......maybe 2 pounds. Nothing major. Just enough to freak me out! If I look at this realistically, I've managed something that many people can not do. I've not only lost 130 pounds...I've kept it off for a year! (135 if you take the low end of my five pound radius). The longer I can keep it off, the better my odds for doing it for a lifetime. How can I not be totally excited about this!

Not much new in normal 'life' stuff. Things are still backwards crazy for me. Life will just not let up. But all I can do is keep going full steam ahead and hope that someday (soon preferably) that things right themselves!