Monday, August 30, 2010

I haven't given up.  Although my actions of the last few days would indicate thus.  Today, my weight is at 229.0 pounds.  I'm back on track hot and heavy......I'm worried, because it is easier for me to keep things under control with the daily routine of work.   And starting Thursday at 6PM, my vacation starts.  It is so tempting and so easy to eat out for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Some days I'll almost have to as we travel and are out and about.  So I'm quite nervous.  But I'm going to do it! 

Exercise.....well, I did start my training...and then I forgot all about it.  Oh I kept saying I had grand plans to go out and jog...or go out and do something.  But grand plans only get you so far.....implementation is much more important.  (well, you can't implement something if you don't have grand how about I say implementation is the thing that makes or breaks the grand plan).

The stress that I'm under is getting pretty bad.  When I was teaching, my throat would tighten up....and I would have difficulty swallowing and not so much breathing, but it was uncomfortable.  That was all stress induced.  I'm struggling with the same thing now.  When the situation that is causing the stress rears it's ugly head, my throat closes up.   I try to force myself to relax and to mentally reopen that throat...but that's sometimes easier said than done when the stress keeps smackin' you in the face.   In all honesty, I'm freaked out.  I know how close to the edge I was when I was teaching and my throat did that......  The only thing I wish would happen?  When it got to that point, I was eating pretty much anything and everything, but the weight dropped off of my body.  Literally a pound or two a day.......that would be nice.  LOL   But no, not healthy...and no, as much as I'd like to lose the weight quickly....that's NOT how I need to be doing it!