Friday, February 26, 2021

The mind tricks

For the past week my mind has been playing some nasty tricks on me.   Ironically not in the arena of weight loss...but for life in general.  But I guess that affects everything...even that weight loss effort!

I have been looking deeply at where I am in life.  No, not in my relationship.  I couldn’t be happier with Jason!  I am more in love each day and couldn’t be happier to be engaged and thinking about a wedding.  No, I am talking about my professional and financial life.

What do I want put of life?   I know my current job isn’t my life passion.  But what is?

What is my mission in life?  What are my passions?  What are my desires?  I’ve been diving deep.    And somehow I have come up blank!  Sure I have some things I like.  I like to read.  I like my dollhouses.  But I dabble with those things.  The question is, what do I want to do with my life?   

Is this a mid life crisis??  I am 48 you know!

Passions....the only thing I came up with for myself is that I spend a lot of time focusing on weight loss.  Not successfully so it seems a lot of the time (although I don’t weigh 330 pounds anymore and while I am not at my goal weight, I’m no where close to that so I guess it is somewhat successful).   Weight loss....really?    I don’t even know if it’s a passion or just that it has been the sole focus of my life for so many years and that has maybe squeezed out everything else.

What in the world?  How do I even know what direction to turn?   I just feel totally discombobulated and lost!

As for weight loss????   I am holding the skin of my teeth it appears this week. My bike riding on the exercise bike to get my mandatory miles continues without fail.   We continue our evening walks.  I even got in a lunch walk in this week.  

While I did manage to avoid the deluge of sweet treats over the weekend, I immediately got hit with the monthly scourge.   And that skewed my weight for the week.   I was slowly recovering and it was looking like a maintain for me!  And then last night I ate a super high sodium dinner.  Yup.  I knew it was not going to be good when I woke up and laid in bed.   I could see the signs!   And so I ended up with a gain this week. A gain of exactly one pound!

I’m not out for the count with my weight loss....I’m just regrouping...drinking lots of water and planning another one sweet treat weekend!!!

I will continue to ponder the direction of my life....and my passions. There had to be an answer out there for me!!!!


peppylady (Dora) said...

I think regrouping is an on going battle. Wish I had answer and if I had to start over. I wouldn't gone into home care field. Although I'm not sure what. Now I'm finish up my time so I can retire.
Coffee is on and stay safe

Mary said...

If I had to start over I would have had a company that took people hiking! Alas, while I do help people access hiking, I'm not out there leading it. Oh well. I also need to put my time in and retire someday but not before I save a bunch more money. Good luck figuring it out.

Lynn said...

I feel really fortunate that I stumbled into an adventurous career. It was hard at times but I can look back and be glad that I don't feel unfulfilled. That being said, sometimes work is just that...something to do to fund the better parts of your life. I do know people who have had jobs that are their passion, and they get burnt out on what they used to love.

Anonymous said...

I gained over a pound this week too. As for the rest of your post, I have those thoughts so often. My job is a job, not a career or passion. Like many other folks, I have to work to live. Coming from a turbulent & unsupportive home growing up, it was survival mode until I could get out. There wasn’t time to dream or decide what I would like to do but rather do what I could to live. Over the years I have dreamed and tried new things. Now I am learning to find what I would like to be doing and working towards my goals. One which is weight loss. I need to stop the thought pattern of once I get to goal I am going know the drill. Don’t fall into my trap. You will find your passion. I have a hunch you may know.

Paula C

MaryFran said...

I’m the same way...but have at least 17 years until I would love to figure out what to do to bring some happiness over those years!!!

MaryFran said...

What a neat idea for a company! That would have been a fun life for sure! Hmmm...never too late for you!!!!

MaryFran said...

Very true....working your passion can burn you out for sure! And are very lucky to have had a career what brought you fulfillment!!

MaryFran said...

I also dream of trying new things...and often jump at the slightest idea...but then just get disappointed quickly! And yes...that trap of ‘once I get to my goal weight’ is a bad trap...and one I’ve fallen into many many times for so long!!!!

Amy said...

I am in the process of making a career change as we speak and I am 48 too. I have been an optician for 20 years and working in customer service for 30 years and I'm just burnt-out. I went back to school a few years back, wanting to help people with special needs. My sons both have autism and I thought it would be rewarding to have a career around that but the jobs in my area (in related fields) mostly pay minimum wage or only slightly better. So for me, instead of focusing on what I think I would love to do I started thinking about what I don't like about my current field (working with the public especially during a pandemic),retail also means that someone can walk in when I am about to close and I have to stay late, I also sometimes don't get a lunch break and I don't like driving in snow. Then I started looking at jobs that didn't have the things I don't like. I found medical coding which let's me stay with my company and keep my benefits while working from home so I eliminate the commute and I never have to talk to a customer on the phone. I think I can do that for the next 19 years. I will always get a lunch break and if I have overtime I will know ahead of time.

MaryFran said...

Thank you for your comment! I for some reason have never thought about it that way! I will have to start thinking about a new career in that way!

Mrs Swan said...

I finally am back to reading blogs now that I have made a big life decision.

This post speaks to me as you will see when you read my recent post. LOL