Saturday, June 03, 2023

Badass or Big Buffoon

Monday marks seventeen and a half years that I have been writing about my efforts to lose weight.    Wow, just writing that makes me feel like an old timer!   I have had success but I have had a lot of failure, yet I continue to write.  Does that make me bad ass or a buffoon?  I mean, it could go both ways.  And how I feel about my weight loss journey vacillates between the two options.  

The Argument for Buffoon

 How many times have I restarted this weight loss journey? Yet I’m no closer to the end result.  I remain full of desire to lose this weight and regain a healthy life, yet I fail time and time again.  It is rather embarrassing to keep writing about failure after failure, yet the buffoon in me keeps writing about my downfalls and my defeats.  

Plans have been plentiful.  I will count all my habits and assign points to them.   I will follow a plan for intermittent fasting.    I will ride my bike 2022 miles in 2022. There is always a new plan to make myself healthy.  The fact that I have to come up with a new plan so frequently points to buffoon, because a new plan indicates that my previous umpteen plans have failed. 

The Argument for Badass

I honestly sometimes think that the sheer longevity of this blog is enough to make me badass.   The numerous posts show that I never gave up.   I haven’t let failures slow me down on my weight loss efforts.   I am not a failure, because I never quit…I’m badass.  

While there have been failures, I have also had successes!  I did manage to complete my 2021 miles in 2021, and I did it a few months early!  I have run 5k’s and 10k’s.   I have ridden a mountain bike on trails that terrify me!  I have had periods of high success with my efforts.  I’ve done amazing things! I have been a badass!

Badass or Buffoon

I guess the answer lies in my feelings on each individual day.  Some days I will wear the title of buffoon while I write about a failure once again.  But other days I will feel like a total badass as I conquer some trail, or challenge or see the scales showing me down a pound or two.   That is part of this rollercoaster journey of weight loss and I will just have embrace the feelings as they come, even while striving to ensure that there are more and more badass days and fewer buffoon days!