Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Think Thin

So my eating today.. rough rough rough. I picked up an egg and cheese sandwich for breakfast. For lunch Todd and I ended up at Ruby Tuesdays.  I have to say, years ago we used to be regulars at these restaurants and then we backed off.  We hadn't been there in ages and went back today.  The salad bar has shrunk in size....not as good.  The Soup wasn't bad....   So yes, soup and salad for lunch.  We ended up at Sweet Frog for a small dessert.  Frozen yogurt....could be worse.  For dinner I had a 1/2 turkey and cheese sub and a handful of pretzels.  I did round it out with an hour of zumba...that counts right?

My eating gets out of whack on weekends and on days when I am off with my husband.  That's the way it is.  I know some will say that he is purposely sabotaging my efforts either subconsciously or otherwise.  That may be the case, it could be all in conjunction with the myriad of marital issues that we have...but I don't think so.  It's a learned behavior.

When Todd and I first got together we were both large obese people.  We both came into the relationship with bad eating habits.  We built a relationship that centered upon food.  Our dates were centered around food.  Everything we did and planned was based on food.  We made our plans for outings based on when and where we were eating.  EVERYTHING was surrounded by food.   That was what our relationship was built upon.

So fast forward through a marriage.  Fast forward to MF decides to change her life by losing weight.   I changed the rules of the marriage.  I no longer want my life to be centered around food.  But that was the life we created within our relationship.  It's difficult.  Our marriage had some major issues before this change came about.  Honestly, I can say that the changes within me haven't helped our marriage...but it's necessary for me to find me, so it has to happen.  It just remains to be seen where the marriage ends up.

But I digress.  So you see, I don't think Todd is being malicious....he's just simply living and operating under the lifestyle that we set up so many years ago.  He isn't being malicious when he asks for waffles in the morning and tacos at night (how does one keep their calories under control with both of those meals in one day?).  He is just asking because that is how we have always operated.

So the question is this.  How do I fit my lifestyle in with what I want .  How do I make the changes I need to make so that we are both happy and ok with everything.

I have always said that I want to live a life where I can eat the waffle and where I can have the tacos the pizza, and the ice cream.  I  know, moderation.  I want to eat 'normal' foods....normally.  Changing my food to a special diet is NOT a sustainable method.  I have to figure out how to eat normally...FOR LIFE!

So on to one other thing that's been floating through my head.  Years back, I was in and then led a few weight loss challenges.  I had gotten into the habit of signing off of every email with the line........Think Thin.   I was thinking about the other day and then this morning a friend sent me a text encouraging me to not go totally crazy while eating out and her last words of the text was "Think Thin"   Oh my word.........of all the words she could have used.  So THINK THIN.......we need to think thin.  Think thin when we are ordering our food.  We need to 'think thin' when we are getting ready to snack at home.  We need to 'think thin' when we are packing our lunches to take to work.  We need to 'think thin' when we are vacillating between going to exercise or skip it.   If we are thinking thin, we will make 'thin' conscious decisions.  Thin conscious decisions will lead us to our goal weight! We need to THINK THIN.