Thursday, January 31, 2008

MADE IT TO THE GYM! WOOOOO HOOOO! I got a good workout in...and I'm very happy with what I did. I could tell a difference on one of the machines that I use to work out my arms that my right arm has gotten stronger. Could it be all that painting? tee hee hee

This morning todd and i woke up early. We had to take the van back to my parents. We decided to stop at lowes again on the way to the gym. We were so into picking out the tub, toilets and stuff yesterday at Lowes...that we forgot to get the tub kit...the one that has the knobs, the shower head and the faucet! Ooops! So we went in and picked that out. I have to say..the el cheapo ones looked just like So we stayed away from the welfare sets and went with a mid range set. The shower head is like 5 inches in diameter....won't that feel soooo good?????? And I did help mom roll out her sugar cookie dough. I think we are moving up the cake decorating and dinner at mom and dad's to tonight. :-) No complaints from me...that's one less meal I have to make...or pay for! :-) Ok, I'm taking the salad! But, that's easy....becasue when i come home from the store, I chop and prepare it was a think of putting all the salad fixin' containers and bags into one big bag for me to grab after work.

My weight was down this morning to 183.4. So it's on it's way down again. Hopefully it stays down and continues to travel downward! :-) I'm going to try to get on the exercise bike for at least a 20 minute ride when we get home tonight. I'm going to try to shake myself loose from these darn pesky 180's anyway I have to....even if that means that i work out twice a day. tee hee hee. :-)

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Flowers, a weigh in, and general life

Not the greatest picture from this angle and with the clock in the back ground...but shows the size...especially when I say that I was standing about 10 feet back from it in order to get the whole arrangement in the picture!

Well...the other day I was sitting in my managers office talking to her. Wewere talking about the changes that may come and I was taking care ofgetting some days off requested. Well, the other gals were just fiddlin'around and yelled out..."ohhh look, someone is getting flowers". They wereall speculating who it was. I didn't even bother to turn and look at theguy as he approached and entered....I mean, I wasn't getting flowers..therewould be no reason. But as the gals talked (it took him a while to get theflowers out of the van and come in) there were only four of us there. One'shusband is i the hospital...and another one's husband was incredibly ill (weare talking hugging the porcelin throne ALL day). So that only left two ofus. Still...why would I be getting flowers? Well....let me tell you. MY...yes MY flowers were all sorts of various colored roses. Todd chose toadd a balloon that said Love love love and he added a little teddy bear onthe vase. It is HUGE!!!!!! And gorgous. No reason for the flowers...justbecause. :-) What a nice treat!Well...we woke up early this morning...especially since it was a day off.(6AM). I exercised and made breakfast (egg and cheese sandwiches...todd'shad vegetarian sausage also) and then we headed up to town. We were at momand dad's by get the van. And we were at Lowes by 8:30. (The newLowes is nice..and the people/workers are so friendly). Lowes took usFOREEEEEEEEEVER!. We didn't get out of there until about 10:30. We had todecide what toilets to buy...what tub to buy...what surround to buy foraround the tub. You name it...we had to decide. And it was big bulkystuff. When we checked out...I was pushing a cart with all the little stuff(oh yes...I got my lights for my kitchen) and I was pulling a cart thathad our tub and the wall surround on it. Todd was pushing a cart that hadtwo toilets and a ton of trim (moulding and quarter round, etc). We musthave been a sight! We shoved it all in the van and we were homeward bound.We were at the trailer by probably 11:30/Noon. And we worked until about6PM. I know I got a lot done...but it was stuff that I don't actually 'see'the progress...but I know that it moved me further along. :-) My kitchensink is done! (todd did that...all the plumbing and installing the sink andfaucets). I put flooring down in the bedroom closet and the library closet.I laid the floor under where the refridge and stove go. (I did that eventhough we aren't ready for the whole floor simply becuase I"m tired ofhaving to walk around and deal with the stove and refridge that are sittingin the middle of the living room!) So my next step is to actually cleanthem really good.....scour those puppies down and then move them into place!My floor for the kitchen....well, it's going to be's a black andwhite checkerboard style....reminicent of the 50's....or of a diner...boththings that are near and dear to my I'll be ok with it! :-)I ran through my last can of paint. I have one more coat to do on ONE wallin the bedroom.......just a tad wee little area on the ceiling in the livingroom...and one wall in the kitchen (which I can do now that Todd finishedpatching it!). I'll pick up more paint tomorrow when I return the van to myparents!When we take the van back tomorrow, I'm goign to roll out some cookie doughfor mom. She sprained her rotator cuff....they are pretty sure it's asprain and not torn (thank goodness). She still has to go to therapy twicea week. She can barely move her arm...and she has orders for cookies...soI'm going to take the van back.....roll out her cookies and go to the gym.I don't have to work until 2PM so it will work. Then I think on Fridaynight after I get off work we are going up to have dinner with mom anddad.....and then I'm going to decorate her cakes for Saturday! :-)

NOw.....on to the weight stuff......I showed a gain of 2.4 pounds at the meeting last night. Frustrating! Julie told me that it happened to her at one point where she'd have spikes in her weight for no reason. PLUS...I realized that I've been within 3 pounds of this weight for 5 months.....starting month six. Woooooo Hooooo plateau!

Monday, January 28, 2008

What is it with Mondays?

What is it with Mondays you may be asking. WELL.....I got on the scale this morning, and low and behold my weight was up. Yesterday I was sitting at 182.6 Still up a bit from my lowest...but much better in comparison to last weeks weigh in. So when I saw that I was at 186 this morning I just wanted to scream! Wasn't it a week ago that I was writing about how my weight just jumped drastically!

Is it like a a friend just suggested...that since I'm getting smaller it's just more difficult to lose? Or is it just that I'm for some reason retaining water? I will say that I didn't go to the bathroom much yesterday...even though I was drinking quite a bit! I'm drinking up a storm today..and I'm going. So maybe that has something to do with it!!!!!! Who knows.... I certainly don't! ARRGGGHHHHH

No matter, I'm going to keep doing what I'm doing. Watching what I eat...staying within my points. Exercising my 6 days a week...and I need to be assured and happy with the fact that what I'm doing is making me healthy even if the scales are not showing a downward slide.

Meanwhile, I've been working a lot over at the other place. I'm making a good deal of progress. The painting is just about done. I've got the bathroom floors laid. Its really starting to come together.

Saturday, January 26, 2008

thoughts on maintaining my weight loss forever

My mom asked me a while back if I thought that this was somthing that I'd be able to do forever (eating and being op). I answered yes. Everyone says maintainance is harder. But I think only because they feel the need to let down their gaurd. That is why I'm getting in the habit of weighing each day....and I've set myself up with that 5 pound mark....and getting myself in that mindset. I think I've told you about my 5 pound thoughts. Basically, I know what my lowest weight ever is (179.8). I'm not happy if I gain any weight at all...but I'm ok as long as I stay within a 5 pound radius of that mark ( December and just recently I've blown that mark...and notice how paniced I became). My reason for doing this. A few months back, I gained .8 pounds one week and I was like, "woah...that's not so bad" The following week I gained 1 pound. And once again I was like, One pound isn't that bad. The third week I gained about a pound and a half...and once again I was like, "in the grand scheme of things that's not bad." HOwever when I looked at where I was......yeah, each week individually wasn't bad...but collectively...eii yiii yiiii 3 pounds! So I decided to set up my 5 poond thing. Yeah, I can say 'it's not bad' for a few weeks...but when I see those scales show me 5 pounds higher than my lowest weight...then I need to go into panic mode. :-) So I"m trying to do anything I can to prepare myself for the long haul (the rest of my life!)

The scales are going down again! THANK GOODNESS! Sadly enough...all this hard work I'm doing this week is not really taking me's returning me to my previous lowest! SICK! BUT, that's the way this journey goes. :-)

Thursday, January 24, 2008

The great weight debate

Yes, the great weight debate today is should I weigh in daily or not. Under normal circumstances I think it's a good thing to weigh in every day. However, I'm coming through a difficult stretch. I'm trying to turn around a little period of weight gain. So this morning as I lay in bed thinking about getting up, I debated. Should I weigh myself today and risk the disapointment of finding that I didn't lose anything or God forbid gained again. I knew that if i found that I had gained I would be absolutely devastated. If I thought yesterday was would have been ten times worse. BUT, I also am smart enough to know that if I didn't weigh in I'd be obsessing about it all day. I'd be wondering...and worrying over what the scales would be saying should I step on. SOOOOO it was with much fear and trepidation that I stepped on the scales. Yesterday morning I was up to 187.2 pounds. This morning I was down to 186.0 pounds. Not a total elimination of the weight that I've gained...but I do see progress in the right direction.

I got up this morning and did the Jillian Michaels Cardio Kickbox dvd. It was the first time that I did that one. It was pretty good. It wasn't too rough with the impact stuff....which is a GREAT thing. I dont' want high impact...but I want my heart rate up there. This one seemingly fits the bill! Woo HOOOO :-) Regardless..I'm very happy with myself for dragging myself out of bed and doing it!

I have a three day weekend this weekend (off Friday, Saturday and then the normal Monday). I'm planning on working over at the other place for some of that time. At least a few hours each day. Tomorrow I'll probably be over there longer than the other days...Todd will be with me (he doesn't work until the evening.) My plans......get the floor down in the bathrooms. Finish painting the bedroom and start the living room...and work on the walk in closet. If I can get that done, it will leave me just to finish the living room and the floor for the library. Todd and I will also need to do the floor for the kitchen. We need to decide what do do for the flooring in the bedroom and living room. Todd needs to finish the walls (tileboard) in the laundry room, set the toilets and put in the tub. And then he's down to working on the flooring stuff with me. Other than's trim stuff and touch up stuff. WOO HOOOO!

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Pity Party

Yes, I'm having a pity party for myself. I'm gaining weight. I've been so good the last few days...yet the scales continue to go up! This mornign, i was so sure that they woudl be down a bit..and to step on them and see that I was up another half pound. word other than devastating will suffice. Yes, I was totally devastated. Enough that I sat down beside my poor sleeping husband and had a good cry. I told him how tired I was of all this healthy eating stuff...and how I wanted to just eat any old thing I wanted. And how disgusted I was that I gained without being bad. My word...if I'm going to gain (5 pounds) I at least want to be able to say, "but it was sure worth it!" Todd, all bleary eyed and struggling to stay away did ask if I was willing to throw away all the hard work I've done to get to where I am by giving up. I'm not willing to give it up....but I won't lie and say that the temptation isn't there!

Todd and I, after I calmed down a bit, and once he wasn't struggling to keep his eyes open quite as much as he was when I first sat down on the bed, talked a little about our plans for when I get off work today. Tenatively we are goign to run to Frederick to put out some flyers for a studio event. We are goign to swing back to hagerstown and go to the gym.....and then home. Dinner will depend on the time. If no time...somewhere that I can get something relatively healthy to eat for dinner....but if there is time...then home to have Homemade sweet and sour chicken over rice.

Bless his pea-pickin heart...I had to call him to let him know that I would be working an extra hour today and getting home at 3 instead of 2. He did some light cleaning at the house for me. It's really not funny...but in a way it is cute to see what happens after I have a crying jag in front of my husband.

As for the tears.......I know I was exhausted yesterday. I didn't feel all that bad. I knew I was tired.....but I know it was a much deeper tiredness than I thought. I have double vision (I thought everyone saw two of everything for many years before some eye doctor figured it out). My brain automatically adjusts so that I'm not reaching for the 'wrong' thing. My brain just processes the two things and can figure out which is real....or where the 'real' thing is. The only time I really have a problem is when I'm really tired...then my brain just doesn't process it correctly or fast enough or something. So yesterday I was at work and noticed it first when i went to go under a long phone cord that was stretched across the room (someone was on the phone). I reached for the cord and I had grabbed for the wrong one......over and over. One other event that stood out was when I was trying to fill out my balance sheet...I struggled so hard trying to figure out which line was the proper one that I needed to write my information on. So the tears could have something to do with that I'm sure.

A friend mentioned to me that it's no wonder that I'm not losing. First of all, my exercise isn't happening as it should. Secondly, I'm working like a banshee on the other place...and that's probably causing all sorts of stress and worries. So my body is being thrown into a tail spin. I'm not sure, but I don't like it!

I did get up early this morning and ride the exercise bike. It doesn't give me a good workout...but at least it was something.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008


Yesterday I did so good. I was careful, I was active (painting..but active none-the-less) and I stopped on the scales this morning....woah baby was I up! That is so not cool! It's actually quite disgusting.

Honestly, it makes me want to give in and give up. NO, I'm not going to. I've already made plans to buckle down even further. BUT it is just so disheartening! Like I said in yesterday's entry, I know what I've done. The sick part is that I wasn't being all that bad. And to gain a significant amount just really puts a damper on any enthusiasm I have for this journey. Where in the world does one find the mojo to continue on when the chips are down.

My exercising still isn't where it should be. The alarm went off at the proper time...allowing me to have the time to exercise, shower, eat breakfast and get ready for work (and still be here on time). I leaned over and turned the alarm off....and then preceeded to lay in bed for about 25 minutes. I can make all sorts of was cold out....I was tired....whatever excuse I want to make. But it boils down to the fact that I just didn't feel like it. Even as I lay there beating myself up for not getting out of bed...I made plans to exercise tonight. I thought about the fact that I'll be watching The Biggest Loser tonight and I have decided that if I don't exercise before than, that I will ride the bike while I watch it tonight. I'm fearful though...because I know that the best laid plans don't always work out. I've got to kick start my exercising though.

I'm not going to my meeting tonight. Various reasons.....with the biggest being the fact taht i'm working a long day today and I know that usually after working a long day i just want to go home and put on my comfy clothes. I know I gained.....I know what I need to do to fix it.

Work on the other place is progressing nicely. It looks a mess.....but I can see where things are going to really start falling together very soon. :-) I'm looking forward to moving in over there. There have been some hardships where we live. It's not exactly easy to live above a recording studio.....just to name one. Plus, the water issues (we live on a cistern so before i do anything I have to check to make sure we have enough water to do it...and we have to haul in drinking water). old house...difficult to heat! The other place has good heating! (and central air for the summer...what a more window units like we have now). I could go on and on with lists of wonderful things. Things that you'd normally take for granted...but I haven't. In a way it's been a very good thing. I've learned not to take for granted many things. many times do we simply turn on the faucet and let the water run with no thought. I don't do that. In fact, I hope I never just mindlessly waste water....I don't want to become hardened again. So there have been some important lessons that I've learned. :-)

Monday, January 21, 2008


Woah......I realized yesterday that I had not journalled ANYTHING that I'd eaten in my food tracker! NOT good. I know from past experience that when I don't journal every bite...that I tend to eat a little more and gain weight. SOOOO...I'm back on track with at least that.

I still haven't gotten back into the exercise. I find it simply amazing how difficult it is to motivate yourself to get back into the exercise routine. When I'm doing good....exercising 6 days a week it seems so easy to do it. After I haven't done it for a few days it seems so difficult to do even one day! BUt, each day...each minute is a new one...and I'm starting fresh!

My weight is up a bit. Not a good thing. However, I'm going to make sure that it comes down!!!!!!

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Well...I showed that .8 loss at my last weigh in. But since then I've sort of fallen apart. I've not done too awfully terrible. However I know that I'm not doing all that great either. My weight has gone up a pound or two. That is totally disappointing! SO I decided to look deeply and see exactly what is happening. There are two things going on. Exercise and eating......duh..what else could it be!

Exercise. Well, my foot injury from the other week. While I'm ok with basic walking. I found out that it still hurts pretty badly if I'm on my foot too long or do something too demanding with my foot. I keep telling myself that there is no excuse...I should be on the exercise bike! BUT, saying that and doing that are two different things. I don't want to overextend myself...with an injury becuase that will keep me from exercising all that much longer!

EATING. This one is the biggie. I do ok with my lunch. But when it comes time to make dinner...I'm in the kitchen and I snitch food while I making dinner. Yes, dinner could be mere minutes from being put on the table and I am eating something else! This is so not's wracking up extra points that I don't need to be eating! I know that's where the problem lies! Becuase if I actually look at my 'meals' points are right on's that snitching that is pushing me over the edge! I keep telling myself that I'm not goign to do it anymore, yet it happens time and time again! NOT COOL!

I've been busy also with stuff for the other place. It seems as if my spare time is spent in one of three ways. One...over at the other place, painting, cleaning and otherwise working. OR Two, spent planning and purchasing stuff. or THREE, in making curtains and other things that I'll need. (Yeah, I'm making's more fun...and I can get what I want!) So I feel overwhelmed with life and all that it entails right now!

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Thoughts on my Food Addiction

I was writing an email to a friend this morning. This friend has just recently started to switch to a healthier lifestyle and is trying to lose weight. I had mad a comment about how when I'm eating correctly and I've won, at least temporarily, this battle over my food addiciton, that I feel so empowered and so proud of myself that it's almost as if I'm on a little high. It started to make me think. Ok, I'm addicted to food and when I'm eating something, I'll overeat to continue to feel that high or that rush of good feelings that I get when I eat something delicious. Sooooo if I can get a similar (no, I'm not even going to say that its the same) feeling when I win a battle with this there someway that I can equate that feeling and substitute it for the those feelings/highs i get when I'm eating like a mad woman? Yes, I know addiction transferrance is a bad thing. But trying to equate those really good feelings of beating it and putting that positive act in place of the negative one can't be bad.

I've looked deeply at why I may be addicted to food. I iknow that I love the tastes and textures of food. I don't sit and crave foods though. My problem begins when I start to eat something. Or I should say when i start to eat something that's really good. What happens is that it tastes sooo good....I keep eating because simply for that's so good. I've found though...that the first few bites are what tastes the best. WOAH......a thought just popped into my head. A previous boss of mine told me that she had read that if you take three bites of something that you would be satisfied when you were done and would be able to push away. Well......i've tried it and it does work. It takes willpower but you are totally satisfied with only three bites (of the bad stuff of course). That kind of works into my addiction thing. Those first three bites or the best anyway. After the first couple bites, the taste diminishes. (Although, becasue I'm an addict, I continue to eat and eat and eat more of the same thing...trying to re-kindle those first bite feelings). HMMMMMMMMM So they both go together hand in hand.

Tonight is my weigh in. I actually forgot to weigh in this morning. Therefore, I really and truely don't know how it's going to go. I know that my weight has been at around 181 on my home scales these last few days. But today...who knows....the ick arrived just the other day...and that can totally mess up the works! We'll have to see. If my home scales remain somewhat true to the meeting scales I should be down about 1.5 to 2 pounds. We'll ahve to see though! :-) It will be interesting to see how everyone else did this week!

My foot is doing pretty good. It doesn't hurt anymore when I walk or move around. However, i just realized that it hurts when I'm running. I ran over to the library while at work. I didn't put on my winter coat and just ran over. It was very cold. So I ran back to the foot hurt while I was running. True, I had on a shoe with a bit of a heel.....but still. So I'm still goign to have to be careful. We didn't make it to the gym last night....well, take that back, we made it to the gym....but they were having a blood drive for the Red Cross we gave blood instead (ok, Todd gave....I went through the whole rigamorole and waited and all that and then they couldn't find a vein to tap...oh well). So that used up our time...and Todd had to work in the evening so we dindt' have the time to do both. BUT, I know that I need to kick my exercise back into gear. I'd optimally like to go back into exercising first thing in the morning....and then ride the bike for 20-30 minutes in the evening if at all possible. I think that would help me drop these pounds to get to my goals!

For some reason my pictures of my 'babies' won't upload! It's really starting to pluck my nerves!

Monday, January 14, 2008

Good eating, size 12, wearing mediums, doing well!

Well, my weight is still holding at roughly 181.5 pounds! Even with the ick having started! I'm pretty happy about that. Yeah, I'd like to drop into the 170's...but I'll settle with any loss!

I've been doing pretty good with my eating the last few days. I've tried to stay within my points and make healthy options. I haven't been exercising as much as I normally do...basically because I wanted to give my foot a bit of a break. Today though, I get off work at 3PM and Todd and I are planning on going to the gym. That should give me a nice workout! Woo hooo!

Yesterday I was at the mall with mom. I decided to try on some dress pants. No, I'm not buying any....the ones that I have are ok for use current pants are size 14's. Some are getting loose on me...but they are definitely still wearable. :-) So, I decided to try on the 12's to see how they fit. I can fit into the 12's!!! Amazing!!! I'm hoping to leapfrog over the 12's. Basically wear the 14's loose and baggy as long as I can...with belts and whatnot, and try to save my money by not buying any/many 12's......and then buy 10's as my next size down. We'll see. I know that in the past, I've been so tickled to actually be the next size down that I go ahead and buy one pair of pants that fits me perfectly. We'll see. I've always kinda thought that I'd be around a 10 when I get to my goal weight....that's looking like it may be true. Possibly even an 8. Oh my word..that would be like unheard of in my be an 8! But, no worries....I'll be what I'll be when I get there! :-)

The other thing that happened at the mall. I was in this one store with mom and found this adorable dress shirt....(it had a cat embroidered on it). It was on the sale kind of shopping (at least now when I'm trying to be frugal with money as my sizes are changing so drastically). So I picked up an XL to try on. I actually also picked up a Large. I know that the last thing I'd had purchased (months ago) from that store was an XL....and I knew that it was quite loose now. Well, I went in and tried on the XL....very big. I modelled it for mom and pointed out the buttons and little flaps on the side that would enable me to draw the shirt in a bit smaller as I lost weight. REALLy cool. But as it was big, we decided to try on the large. I went in and woah doggie..the large was still pretty roomy. I must have had this huge look of consternation on my face as I went back to the rack of clothes. They had only had like 4 of these shirts...what was the chance that they actually had another one...but this time in Medium. Well, thet did! I tried it's not as roomy as the Large (obviously) but it fit quite nicely. It still has the button as I lose some more, I'll still be able to pull it in a little as I continue to lose! SOOOO I'm wearing a MEDIUM. What's with that? :-)

I did finally go into Victoria's Secret. I felt a bit awkward at first. Afterall, I've still got the 'fat girl' mentality. I'll admit that I was a bit intimidated because of my own insecurities. However, I'm every bit as entitled to be there. I didn't even have to buy the largest sizes that they sold! God Bless my husband for recognizing my insecurities with this weight loss and taking steps to get me past it (he knew that a gift certificate would ensure me going into there.). :-) I didn't buy anything super sexy or anything. I bought things that I desparately needed. When I get closer to my goal weight (and a more stabile size) I'll splurge and buy some of this big ticket items! :-)

Work is still progressing at the other place. I'm sure that the fact taht I've done a decent amount of work over there has helped to bring my weight down a bit this week (especially since I haven't bee exercising a whole lot, because of my foot). Even though it is not work that is making me strain and is causing me to be on my feet and moving. THAT has to count for something. I'm hoping that once I can kick back into the routine of formal exercise every day, topped with the work over there..that the weight will just melt off of me!!!!

Saturday, January 12, 2008


I try to take a monthly measurement of my body with the good old tape measure. I keep the figures on a spreadsheet....making a new spreadsheet for every year. So I decided tonight to go ahead and do my Jan. 2008 measurements. For some reason, I decided to compare my first measurements to todays. Well, what I did was actually find the spot on the tape measure ....from my measurments from 2 years ago and then hold it in place. It was actually shocking to see the very visible evidence of exactly how big I was. Mind boggling!

Saturday Morning

Yep, Saturday morning hit...and with it the absolute feeling of lethargy......which means that I slept in a bit and didn't get up to exercise. I'm not too overly concerned. I only work until noon. And then at that point I am going to run home, eat a quick lunch and then run over to the other house to work. I'll be painting, climbing ladders, squating to dip brushes/rollers, etc etc etc. for a couple hours, so at least I'll be somewhat active today. I should be able to have at least 4-5 hours over there to work today. On one hand, I'm dreading going over there and working...I'll be by myself and I really do get tired of painting. In fact, its already starting to wear thin. But on the other hand, I'm so excited about getting it done that I just want to be over there constantly to get it done as quickly as possible.

Tonight, Todd wants another mushroom swiss burger with some kind of pasta. I'm debating exactly what kind of pasta to that I like and I'll eat.....or one that I hate so I will not eat. HMMM I guess it depends on what I eat for lunch I guess. :-)

My weightw as down to 181.6 this at least I'm going downward....slowly!

Friday, January 11, 2008

Mysteriously Quiet

I just realized that I've been very quiet on my blog. It's not because I've been doing poorly, or that I've fallen off the wagon. The main reason is that I've been incredibly busy. We are working on some remodelling projects on a house that we that we are hoping to move into in a few months. It's a lot of cosmetic things....but todd's step father didn't take care of it and left it in shambles.....and a pig-sty. Therefore, I pretty much want every surface painted over or covered! So I've been painting...hours and hours of painting! Every day either before work or after work (depending on my schedule) paint paint paint. Kitchen cabinets take FOREVER to do. We've also had some extra trips to town to buy that takes time also.

I went to my weigh in on Tuesday night. I was I knew I would be. I was up 1.6 pounds. It could have been a whole lot worse...if I wouldn't have worked my tail end off over the holidays to get the weight off from that binge that I had! It felt good to get back to the meetings and back on track! My weight was 183.4. That puts me 19.6 pounds from getting to my weight watchers goal that is!

I hurt my foot on Tuesday while exercising...yep, I fell off my step while doing step aerobics. While it's getting better, I do still feel some twinges of pain if I'm on it too much or if I move it wrong. Have I let this derail my exercise efforts? Not at all. I've been getting on the exercise bike. I found that I really don't like to ride the exercise bike...the time drags on and on.....but I'm doing it.

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Interesting article

From sparkpeople.com1.

1. Carl's Jr. Western Bacon Six Dollar Burger I’m an East Coast kind of guy, but I realize there are no boundaries when it comes to bad foods. So, for this review, I took the advice of 19th Century newspaper editor Horace Greeley who urged, “Go west, young man, go west.” The Western Bacon Six Dollar Burger will gun you down with 1,130 calories (600 from fat), 66g fat (100% of your Daily Reference Value), 28g saturated fat (140% DRV), 150mg cholesterol, 2,540mg sodium (110%DRV), 83g carbs, and 47g protein.

2. Pizza Hut Double Deep Pizza These Double Deep Pizzas are handcrafted by loading an entire pizza with twice the toppings of a medium pizza, plus 50% more cheese and then wrapping the crust over the top to hold all the toppings in. I tried two slices of the Meaty variety. According to the Pizza Hut Website, I also opted for 1,160 calories, 72g fat (110% of your recommended Daily Value), 28g saturated fat (140% DV), 3g trans fat, 200mg cholesterol, 3,980mg sodium (166% DV), 62g carbs, and 62g protein.

3. El Monterey XX Large Chimichanga While shopping at Wal-Mart here in Northeastern Pennsylvania, I noticed Spicy Red Hot Beef & Bean Chimichangas in a cooler near the deli. They looked suspiciously like my 3-for-a-buck burritos of yesteryear—only bigger and a tad more costly. While a standard burrito wraps a filling of meat, beans and/or cheese in a flour tortilla, a chimichanga is a meat-filled tortilla…deep-fried. The key words "deep-fried" may explain why my mushy 10-ounce XX Large Chimichanga did a Mexican fat dance on my diet to the tune of 920 calories, 57g of fat (15g saturated, 1g trans fat), 40mg cholesterol, 1,140mg sodium, 83g carbs, and 22g protein.

4. Denny’s Meat Lover’s Scramble As Mr. Bad Food, I’ve seen plenty of bad nutrition numbers in my day. But I never saw anything as heart-stopping as what I found on the Denny’s Website one day. It was my stomach that turned upside down when I checked out the nutrition numbers for Denny’s Meat Lover’s Scramble. Denny’s could be charged with “salt with a deadly weapon” for serving a breakfast entree that packs an unbelievable 4,170mg of sodium! The Meat Lover’s Scramble will also shake you down with 1,280 calories, 71g of fat (21 saturated, 0 trans), 565mg cholesterol (the RDA is 300mg), 103g carbs and 54g protein (RDA is 50). By the way, the RDA for fat is 65 grams, so you are taking in more than a day’s fat, cholesterol and sodium in a single meal!

5. Hardee’s Country Breakfast Burrito The word burrito sounds like a term for a little burro. If you don’t want to make an ass_of yourself—by scarfing down 60 grams of fat with your first meal of the day—then steer clear of the Country Breakfast Burrito at Hardee’s. The king-sized breakfast burrito is cobbled together from two omelets, five hashrounds (their cutesy version of hashbrowns), cheddar cheese, and sausage gravy. The omelets that fill out the tortilla each contain two eggs, crumbled sausage, diced ham and bacon bits. Now, if you’re hungry for 920 calories, 23 grams of saturated fat, and nearly 2,000 milligrams of sodium for your morning meal, dig in!

6. KFC Chicken & Biscuit Bowl The clever cooks at KFC devised a way to toss together an entire chicken dinner in a single bowl. According to the KFC Website, the new bowls are “a blend of mouth-watering KFC flavors and textures all layered together.” Their nutrition guide says that the Chicken & Biscuit dish will bowl you over with 870 calories, 44g of fat (11 saturated, 4.5 trans), 60mg cholesterol, 2,420mg sodium (101% of your recommended daily amount), 88g carbs, and 29g protein.

7. Starbucks Double Chocolate Chip Frappuccino Blended Crème When is a coffee drink not a coffee drink? When it comes with calories and frothy extras you’d expect to get with a milkshake! Oh, and when it doesn’t even include coffee! Case in point: The 24-ounce (that’s Venti-sized in Starbucks lingo) Double Chocolate Chip Frappuccino Blended Crème served up at your local Starbucks. This drink is made from rich chocolate, chocolate chips and milk, and is blended with ice, and topped with whipped cream (optional), and chocolate drizzle. With 670 calories, 22g of total fat, (12g saturated fat; 0.5g of trans fat), and 107g of carbs, it only sounds like a coffee drink. The 12 grams of saturated fat is equal to the saturated fat you get in a McDonald’s Quarter-Pounder with Cheese… but the sandwich packs 160 fewer calories than the Frappuccino!

8. Pizza Hut P’Zone It takes two hands to handle a Pizza Hut P’Zone. The problem is—according to the nutrition info on their website—it should also take two people! Yes, despite the fact their TV ads showed a bunch of hungry guys chowing down on whole P’Zones, each super-sized dough pockets of meats, cheeses and sauce is considered TWO SERVINGS. The nutrition numbers… doubled for those of us who consider the P’Zones one-meal wonders: P'Zone Classic: 1,220 calories, 46g fat, 22g saturated fat, 2g trans fat, 130mg cholesterol, 2,700mg sodium, 144g carbs, 8g fiber, 60g protein. P'Zone Pepperoni: 1,260 calories, 48g fat, 22g saturated fat, 2g trans fat, 140mg cholesterol, 2,980mg sodium, 140g carbs, 6g fiber, 64g protein. P'Zone Meaty: 1,380 calories, 58g fat, 26g saturated fat, 2g trans fat, 160mg cholesterol, 3,460mg sodium, 144g carbs, 8g fiber, 70g protein.

9. Wendy’s Baconator The term “Baconator” sparks images of an action flick featuring a leading man with a terribly thick Austrian accent. But if you’re planning on ordering Wendy’s newest blockbuster, think again. I can picture it now: A seatbelt-straining drive-thru customer grabs his grease-stained bag of beef, bacon and fried potatoes, and before driving off to feast upon his Baconator, he shouts to the drive-up window jockey, “I’ll be bawk…for my defibrillator paddles!” Then, just before he zooms out of earshot, the server leans out of her window and yells back at him: “Hasta la vista, flabby!” OK, so it’s poor scriptwriting. But it’s also poor dining to indulge in this Wendy’s double cheeseburger on steroids. The Baconator boasts two beef patties, two slices of cheese and SIX slices of bacon! Do yourself a favor and terminate your urge to order this beast of a burger. The nutritional numbers for the 10-ounce Baconator: 830 calories, 51g of fat (22g saturated, 2.5g trans fat), 170mg of cholesterol, 1,920mg of sodium, 35g of carbs, and 57g of protein.

10. Denny’s Extreme Grand Slam Ads for Denny’s Grand Slam breakfasts used to feature the tagline, “$2.99…Are you out of your mind?!” Now that the restaurant chain has launched ads for its new Extreme Grand Slam—a breakfast platter piled high with three strips of bacon, three sausage links, two eggs, hash browns and three pancakes—they might want to change it to, “You’re ordering a Denny’s Extreme Grand Slam…Are you out of your freakin’ mind?!” The nutritional numbers for the 21-ounce Extreme Grand Slam: 1,160 calories, 64g of fat (17g of saturated fat), 560mg of cholesterol, 3,750mg of sodium, 102g of carbs, 4g of fiber, and 45g of protein.


I'm relatively positive that I will not show a maintain or a loss tonight. I'm kinda sad about that. I've come close. But, at least (hopefully) I won't show a massive gain. (Honestly, I'm thinking maybe 2 pounds....which is better than the 8-9 pounds that it truely was after my binge week). Oh well...I need to go, suck it up, face the music and get my tail end into gear.

Yesterday at work the gals were tearing down the Christmas decorations. They called me out from my desk (I was at Drive through) because they needed a "skinny" person to climb up on a window ledge (not very high) to take down the garland and pull the staples. Uhhh they were asking me???? Who in the world do you think you are speaking to...i'm fat! But then I had to remember that I am a RECOVERING Fatty! I know I shouldn't say that about myself, but you know, it's the truth. I was fat. I was obese. Heck I was morbidly was bad. There is no way that I can put my previous weight that is in a good light!

Just recently I was either reading about somehting...or talking to someone and they mentioned that they just don't see themselves as thin. Will I ever feel thin? Or will I always have the 'fat girl' mentality. I still struggle with going into certain stores. I just feel crazy going into them....afterall, a fat girl doesn't need to shop (or can shop) at a lot of stores. It's not that I feel inferior....but I just feel I'm trying to stuff a fat body into thin clothes...even though I now that they will and do fit me. It's crazy I know! I'm just wondering if I'll ever get over that feeling...or if those feelings of still being big will be with me forever...seared in my memory!

Another I'm still concerned about the saggy skin!!!!! ARRRGGHHH

Well, today Todd and I planned on getting up at a decent hour to go over to the other place to continue to work on our remodelling project (more painting today). I actually set that alarm for 1 hour earlier than need be in order to exercise beforehand. Man, that is soooooo motivating eh? Well, I set up the step and turned on the step aerobic dvd. My back was really stiff...but I started anyway. I know from experience that my back will really loosen up while I exercise and in reality will feel better when I'm through with my exercise. SOOOOOO I trudged on. UNTIL I stepped back off the step and when I came down I twisted my ankle but good. I didn't fall...but I couldn't put weight on it for a few. I limped to the sofa and waited...usually the pain tapers off after a few minutes.. but it didn't seem to be hapening. I finally flipped off the dvd (there is nothing more annoying than hearing an exercise dvd play when you are not exercising). My foot hurt to beat the band...but after a few minutes I was up walking. I knew that it was tender and woudl be tender for a while so i stopped exercising...put everything away and used that time to be productive...I folded the 3 baskets of laundry that I had completed the previous night but just hadn't gotten around to folding. We did still make it over and painted for about 3-4 hours. Got a lot done. The kitchen cabinets are fully primed, the kitchen ceiling is DONE and the kitchen cabinets are halfway painted! Woo hoo! My foot is still a bit tender if I step on it wrong...or if I move it incorrectly (a weird way) but overall its doing pretty good.

Sunday, January 06, 2008

What in the world has gotten into me?

I haven't eaten all that horribly today......if you compare it to how I USED to eat. But I just didn't eat as well as I am used to eating currently. Oh well.....tomorrows another day (actually this new minute is another chance!) What got me, you may be wondering. Well, it was the biscuits at the Cracker Barrel where my husband I ate with my parents. I had planned on eating on biscuit. However, we started talking about an emotional issue (for me at least) and I ate another biscuit and half of a cornbread muffin! It was total emotional eating. I'm a bit worried that I messed up my weigh in for Tuesday night. I'm hoping not!

Well, I guess I'm off to exercise!

Saturday, January 05, 2008

Back into the swing of things

Yes, I'm getting back into the swing of things after the upheaval that the two back to back holidays cause. It's good upheaval....but it is somewhat comforting to be back to a normal state of affairs. One of the main things for me is that it's oh so much easier to eat healthy and maintain the level of exercise that I've set forth as my daily life when my life is more settled into a normal routine. Saying weight is down to 181.0 this morning. I'm pretty happy with that. I'm hoping to pull off a 'maintain' at my Tuesday weight watchers meeting. If you remember, the weigh in after my binge, I chose to not weigh in. I knew that my weight was up about 8 pounds...but I thought it would motivate me to get that weight off before the next weigh in I'd be attending (3 weeks later). It's been a rough three weeks....Christmas and New years fell within those three weeks. BUT, it's looking like I may be able to pull it off! It will be a close call....and will require me to lose a tad bit more before the weigh in.

Meanwhile, things are starting to roll on our remodel project. We are waiting for the plumber to get there to fix the main water shut off valve. Then we can continue with tearing out the shower, toilet, sink and the broken dishwasher. We need to take up the flooring in the kitchen also and then we will be ready to put in the new stuff! All that physical labor should help the weight loss efforts!

You know...I don't think I ever put down my year 2008 goals....I've alluded to them but never listed them directly out!

1. Get to my 'weight watchers' goal weight. Roughly 164 pounds. That will put me in the healthy weight range for my height! (I'm aiming for March 1st, I'd have to lose about 2 pounds a week to make that date.....realistically I'm saying by my anniversary, April 6th wich is actually 1.23 pounds a week)

2. Maintain my weight watchers goal weight for 6 weeks to become a lifetime member (and thereby stop paying the monthly fee)

3. Continue losing to get to a good healthy weight for me. My number that I've pulled out of a hat to try to attain is 150...but in reality, that number will depend on my body! (My dream time to finish this would be by my anniversary...which would be about 2.2 pounds a week. However, my realistic goal is the beginnng of June which is about 1.27 pounds a week)

4. Complete our remodel project and move in. (I'm thinking at the earliest March, Todd is thinking February)

5. Eat at home more often, consitently trying new recipes instead of getting stuck in a rut making the same things.

6. Keep up with the business books instead of letting things pile up and then doing a massive thrust to catch up!

7. Save money!!!!!

So there you have it, my 2008 goals!

I'm still pondering what route I want to take with this desire/calling that I feel to help other people develop a healthier lifestyle. I just don't know what direction to go in. I've thought about doing the dietician route...but when I look at the courses required, it includes a lot of science...I HATE science! In previous school experiences, I absolutely detested any science class that had labs also! That leaves personal training...but I'm not sure that that is the route for me. They have these 'life coaches' but I don't know what is involved in that and how to do something like I'm just not sure.

Thursday, January 03, 2008

An honest look at todays weigh in

Yesterday I was so happy that I was down to 181.6. Then this morning I was up at 182.4. Almost a full pound of fluctuation!! What the H E double hockey sticks! Ok, let me be honest. My meals were my points with exactly 1 point left over for extra. I SHOULD have had a WW 1 point fudge bar for dessert...since I would have had one point. Do you think I would do something like that? NO WAY! I ate a 3 point dessert cup! I also snitched a piece of swiss cheese while I was making Todd's Swiss and mushroom burger. CHEESE!!! so with the cheese...that's three points...and the dessert cup is 3...oh and lets not forget a I tried a bite of the roll that mom wanted me to try. ARRGGHHH Why do I seem to gain if I eat any of my flex points???????


Found this article on The Biggest Loser section on the NBC struck a I've decided to include it.

By Greg Hottinger MPH, RD, Biggest Loser Club ExpertHow many times have you seen a thin person stuffing her face with a super-sized fast food meal and thought, "I wish I could eat anything I want!" The truth is that thin person is either 1) eating a very unusual meal for her lifestyle or 2) not as healthy you think. Thin people may have high blood pressure, heart disease, or may have a low fitness level. For this reason, why not strive for more than being thin? How about being fit and healthy as well? Fit and healthy people come in many different shapes and sizes and make a wide variety of food choices. Despite their differences, fit and healthy people are remarkably similar in the way they think! Here are 10 thoughts that fit and healthy people think:

1. "This is fun." Fit people enjoy activity for the sake of the activity. It could be a night of dancing, hard fought tennis match, or hike with a good friend. But the value is intrinsic. The fact that the activity also happens to be "good for you" is secondary. There is an appreciation of effort and skill. And the activity is undertaken with gratitude, facility, and in many cases, joy. What you can do now: Find an activity that you would choose without knowing it’s good for you or something you would miss doing if you no longer could. After completing it, journal how it felt to move and why you’re grateful for the ability and opportunity.

2. "You get what you pay for." Healthy people realize that quality foods cost more than overly processed foods. They think about how the food was grown or raised and are willing to pay more for local and/or organically grown foods. They believe that good health is built from quality foods. Their mantra is "Pay now or pay later with interest (interest being in the form of sickness, medical bills, and suffering)." What you can do now: Identify a healthy food, like almonds or avocados, which you currently believe to be too expensive. Add them to your cart the next time you go shopping. Identify a splurge, like buying movie theatre candy or a specialty coffee drink, to give up to even out your food budget.

3. “This is easy.” Fit people MOVE! The thought of walking to get somewhere is not foreign or averse. Being fit means daily activities and chores are less taxing and fit people revel in being able to do these things easily. Instead of avoiding mowing the lawn, chopping wood, or raking leaves, fit people look at chores as an opportunity to lift, squat, walk, lunge, twist, pull…you get the picture! Why wait to be in a gym? What you can do now: Pick an errand or task around the house that could be a "mini-workout". As you do it, think about the similarities to some of the movements you do at the gym. What skills and strengths that you’ve built at the gym are you now using in everyday life?

4. "I’d rather throw this food away than wear it." Healthy people do not succumb to the "all you can eat", "super-size", and "2 for the price of 1" traps around food. They know that bigger portions lead to eating more. So they either don’t buy or aren’t afraid to throw it away if they do. What you can do now: The next time you buy food away from home, think about getting what you actually need versus getting the most for your money. Leave food on your plate and say to yourself "I’d rather throw this food away than wear it."

5. "I feel like a sports car." Fit people need high octane! When your workout is more than a walk in the park, you have to fuel the fire! Instead of eating as little as possible and having no "oomph" for a workout, they eat a well-portioned pre-workout meal. Instead of over-eating, they think about their strength training session or spinning class and eat foods that help them stay energized. And they get the rest that their body needs to recover from the day and be ready for tomorrow. What you can do now: Before your next workout, eat a light, well-balanced meal or snack to top off the fuel tank. Then stay well hydrated for exercise by drinking 8 - 16 oz of water 1 – 2 hours prior to exercise and 8 – 16 oz for every 20 minutes of exercise. Notice how you feel compared to when you eat a heavy meal, forget to eat altogether, or don’t drink properly.

6. "The next delicious meal is only a few hours away." A healthy person knows that the meal sitting before them is not their Last Supper. In fact, they’ve noticed that when they don’t overeat at this meal, they enjoy their next meal even more. They consider food part of the celebration, not the reason for it. What you can do now: The next time you feel tempted for that second plate of food, remind yourself that you’ll be eating again in just a few hours. Take a couple of deep breaths and focus on the sensations in your body. If you still feel a strong desire to eat more, give yourself three more bites and then put the food away.

7. "That’s the ticket!" A fit person can see the connection between being fit and doing other things she finds enjoyable. Travel, gardening, sex, going to the theater, and shopping are just a few things that are enhanced by fitness. Real life examples from clients and members include going to Disney, running a marathon, walking 30,000 steps exploring Manhattan, and hiking to Everest base camp. What you can do now: Use a backpack to carry a weight equal to what you have lost. Wear it while you go shopping, to the park, or some other fun activity this weekend. Then, still in the midst of your fun, take it off. Savor the difference and know that there is more to come!

8. "What’s my body trying to tell me?" Healthy people pay attention to their body’s signals and notice when they feel good and when their body is telling them something isn’t right. People who tune in to these signals are willing to adjust their food choices in such a way that they are working with their body and not against it. They pay close attention to their hunger and fullness signals and notice that they feel better when they stay balanced, not too hungry and not too full. What you can do now: Notice which foods make you feel good after eating them and which ones make you feel irritable, tired, or that upset your stomach.

9. "I’m hooked!" Fit people "hook” into exercise by signing up for classes, playing in sports leagues, exercising with partners, or joining clubs based on activities like hiking. What you can do now: Take a look at your local paper and look for upcoming events, group meetings, trips, or classes that are kicking off. Commit to signing up and participating in one event by the end of the month.

10. "’Tis the season." Healthy people consider the ripeness and freshness of the food they buy when shopping and ordering from a restaurant. They know that when they eat an unsatisfying meal, like wilted lettuce and unripe tomatoes, a terribly bland meal, or a processed food full of artificial ingredients, they’ll feel unsatisfied and will want to eat something else. What you can do now: Think about the fruits and vegetables that are in season right now to highlight on your shopping list. Notice how delicious these foods taste and how satisfying they are. Copyright Biggest Loser Club 2007

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Day two of the new YEar

Day two of the year 2008 is halfway (or almost the whole way) over. I've been able to eat wisely and healthy. My weight this morning was at I'm getting close to my all time low weight. THank heavens. It's been a rough three weeks since my little binge.

We had planned to go to the gym while we were in town today..howeve, we got sidetracked and circumstances kept us from going. Sooooo, as soon as I got home, I exercised here. VERY proud of me for that!

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

New Years and Rainbows

The Sunday before Christmas I was riding around with my sister in law and the kids. It had just stopped raining and we saw this GORGEOUS rainbow. We could see the whole arch of the rainbow and for a bit, we actually saw a double rainbow. This rainbow stayed around FOREVER (the main biggest and darkest one). We watched it for at least 15 minutes before we got back to my parents house. This picture is one that I took while literally hanging my hand out the window and snapping the shutter while we were driving. It does not to justice to this rainbow..
SO you may be thinking, why in the world do I have a rainbow in my blog this morning? During the past week or so, I've been reflecting on the year 2007 and looking forward to the year 2008. My first response to the year 2007 was disappointment. I didn't reach my main goal, which was at the beginning of the year actually looked very promising. I started to berate myself for 'messing' up. I didn't lose the 50 pounds that I needed to lose in order to reach that goal. But slowly, I started to think...I may not have lost the 50 pounds...but I did lose about 25! That is an accomplishment. Yeah, I'd have liked it to be more...but 25 pounds is still a huge that some people can never attain. And when I add that 25-30 pounds onto what I've already lost.....120 pounds is very well worth celebrating! I've lost 120 pounds! What a wonderful accomplishment. I've also achieved/received reconciliation with a friend that I thought was lost forever. These two things alone are enough to make me jump up and down in jubiliation! What a blessing! Just like a rainbow is a blessing.
Looking foward to the new year, I can only look at the rainbow and think of the promise and the beauty that the new year holds. Yes, I hope to reach my weight goals this year....yes, I have lots of other things that I'd like to happen. Like the rainbow, this year holds lots of promise for me!
I honestly can't wait to kick butt this year and get this weight off! I'm super determined to work myself hard, eat healthy and stay focused and motivated...keeping the willpower high and strong in order to reach this weight goal!