Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Third Times a charm

Yes, this would be my third entry for today. However, I have some "gem's" that I'd like to put down to remember.

I'll start first with my weigh in ..... 1.8 pounds down. Could have been more if I would have been SMART about the sodium yesterday. But oh well, a loss is a loss. That was a respectable loss.

Sherry told me about something she had heard recently. It was in conjunction with how people tend to throw in the towel when they've made one bad choice. For example, if they eat poorly for one meal, they throw in the towel and give up for the rest of the day...or the week or even the month. Well, the analogy that was used to show how crazy that concept is was, If you have a dozen eggs and you break one...do you throw out the other 11?

We were also talking tonight about how I'm happy that I'm losing the weight more slowly. I shared my frustration at how slowly I'm losing.....especially when I see other people seemingly just drop the pounds. I know in my heart that the way that I"m doing it is the healthy way....and the way that is really going to enable me to keep it off for life....but it just gets so frustrating sometimes! So I thought I'd come home and vent here a bit!

Cool thoughts I found

Things that really hit me as I read the 'elmination blog's' of the people that have already left the show this season....found these on ivillage.com

Live for the moment (present), Live for you, your family, friends, Live for whatever makes you happy. Once you start realizing what you are living for then it becomes easier to lose weight.
Who do you think will make it to the end of the show

What advice can you give other people who are hoping to lose extra pounds? It's possible! Stop thinking about it and start doing something about it. It's that simple. Muscle definition is as addictive as crack. Get over that first crappy hump of getting started and you'll be fine. The greatest thing I've realized through this experience is that it is so much more than just losing weight. If all of your energy is exerted and focused on the physical aspect, you ultimately fail. It was more than just eating poorly or too much that got you to this point. There are mental, emotional, and spiritual revelations that you need to consider in this transformation.

.) What do you think your biggest weight loss obstacles will be now that you're dieting on your own? At first, it was realizing that I changed but the world had not. Everyday it is a struggle to say no to the ding dongs and hamburgers, but the trade off is so much greater. My energy leave is so much higher. The way I see myself is so much better. I can walk into a room full of people, look them straight in the eye and now know the feeling of them looking back at me not because I am fat but they can see the things I have always wanted them to see. Me.

What advice can you give other people who are hoping to lose extra pounds? Just don't stop. Keep moving. And be proud of yourself. Losing weight is a journey not a one day adventure. One of the producers told us to respect the scale. Every time I step on to the scale, even if my weight loss is only 2 pounds. I respect it. I earned it.
I'm royally ticked off!!!!!!! Yesterday I was 185....today, I'm 188...and tonight is my weigh in. I KNOW what I did......too much salt yesterday. 100% my fault! I actually stayed within my points...and there is no way I gained 3 pounds in one day! But it will reflect on the scales tonight....I'm going to drink drink drink today......stopping at like 4 or so (I never drink in the 2-3 hours befor my weigh in) in hopes that it may start to counter act all the salt before my weigh in.

Today is a short day at work! Woo hooo! This morning Todd and I are going to take another load of stuff from the trailer up to the Rescue Mission. Part of me kicks myself...I could be making some bucks off the stuff that I"m sending up there. It's stuff I no longer want. However...that just seems really selfish. Finding this stuff at the Rescue Mission can make someone really happy...brighten the life of someone. PLUS, the money that they make off of these items really does go to a good cause!

Got a REALLY cool wedding gift idea yesterday from my boss/manager! I'm stoked...because we have a handful of friends that have weddings coming up!

Tomorrow Todd and I have off. I think we are planning on finishing off the garden. We have left the garden go.....still picking and eating off the garden as the weather remained nice. Of course on Sunday we heard about the frost warning so we went out and picked the last of everything. We still had hot peppers, lima beans and some tomatoes. It was amazing to see these really healthy looking plants with flower/buds on them at the end of October! So now we want to go out and pull the rest of the plants (we pulled a good many of them when we picked the other day), do our fall tilling, spread our compost, cover it with straw and call it quits for the winter. I also have to mow at the trailer.....HOPEFULLY for the last time this year! and hopefully for the last time EVER with a push mower! :-) So I'll be getting in a good workout I guess! Yeah, I admit...other than the time consumption, it's been good for me! At least on Wednesday I won't be sweating like a banshee when I mow (I hope!)

Monday, October 29, 2007

tomorrow will tell the tale

Weight wise, things are still going pretty good. I am still down...nothing has changed that yet. I'm holding my breathe as tomorrow is my 'official' weigh in day. I've been on track with my plan and it truely is amazing how my body responds when I'm doing what I should be doing.

Today was an early day at work (7:45AM, ok, that's early for me!) I am proud to say that I got up an hour early and did it. I got up and exercised....and today was a "hard" day. Basically meaning that today was a day that I pushed myself a little harder...yes, I knew that before I even went to bed......it's an every other day thing. :-)

Just feeling VERY melancholy and sad.

Saturday, October 27, 2007

zippity do da

Yes, I'm singing. I am back at my lowest ever (yet) weight! woo hooo! That is exciting!

Got up early this morning and did my step aerobics. I rotate through my workouts. So eventually my body gets 'used' to the routine and I switch it up...or move to a different workout. So lately, I've been doing one particular workout. Well...this morning I decided to up my riser on my step and add that last riser. Eii yiii yiii. The same workout...and it felt different! That's a good feeling though.

I've got to go grocery shopping after work today...then Todd mentioned going out for dinner tonight. So I'm not sure what we will end up doing. He mentioned one or two places and I've been making mental plans of what I'll get at either of those places.

Been thinking...next year is the year for big things to happen in my friends lives. We've got two weddings (that we know of right now), Julie and Buddy's. And babies...eii yii yiii.....Julie (haa haa haa, I just reread that and it looks like the same Julie is getting married and having a baby...haa haa haa...but not...at least I dont' think Julie M. is planning on that next year), Karen, Ashley, Bree, it just continues. haa haa haa

Friday, October 26, 2007

Learning from past history

I'm going back and reading through all my blog entries. In some ways it's interesting and cool to see how far I've come. In other ways I'm amazed at how much I still struggle in some areas. In some cases, things that I seemingly conquered back a year or more ago with this weight loss struggle has reared its ugly head again. Well, that only goes to show me that I will need to be on gaurd for the rest of my life if I want to keep this weight off! That makes me think of something that I read online here the other day. They were talking about motivation and what motivates them. The whole premise was 'How badly do you want it?'. When it comes down to it you could be saying something like , I don't want to exercise.....and in response...."how badly do i want it? And if I'm asking myself, a piece of fruit or a bag of chips? The answer should always be "How badly do I want it" It goes both ways....How badly do I want that piece of fruit. But more importantly...How badly to I want to lose the weight. There will be sacrifices along this journey....but if I want it badly...and that outweighs the desire to eat or not exercise or whatever...then it should be a simple choice.

Had a super yummy lunch today. Yeah, that sound really trite and almost like I'm trying to talk myself into it. HOwever, when I finished my lunch, I literally said, "wow...that was really good". I had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, corn, and steamed brocolli. Yeah, it may not sound like a good combination to some...but it was delish (as Rachel Ray would say........and why in the world did I even think of that...since I'm not a big Rachel Ray fan...haa haa haa). Tonight for dinner we are having something called a meal...not sure what to call it....but it has ground turkey, pasta, sourcream, zuchinni, green peppers, salsa....it's also super yummy! (And Todd says that it reheats REALLY well..so the leftovers will be eaten by him for lunch a day or so after we have this meal). I'll probably serve it with Peas or green beans and I think our fruit will be grapes (gotta finish them off before they go soft on me). Yeah, green beans would be a better choice...but I'm hungry for peas. :-)

Ok....The last weigh in I went to I showed a gain of like 2 pounds. Then we were on our mini vacation...and I gained 5 pounds. That is so uncool. I had vowed that I would be ok as long as I stayed within 5 pounds of my lowest. Well, I freaked out....because I went over my self imposed 5 pounds. So...I've worked hard and all but .4 of that gain (BOTH gains) is gone. I'm point four pounds away from my lowest ever weight. I'm ecstatic with that! Tickled pink. Dancing a jig. Oh well, you get the point! That puts me at 56 weight watchers pounds gone....with a grand total of 116 pounds GONE. What a difference that makes in life! In how I feel, act,...all aspects of my life.

We had an interesting call last night. It was the c&o canal association. They are having a big hike nearby (on the c&o canal obviously). Last year at this hike apparently they had one hiker that was out and they had to send out the park police to go figure out why the person hadn't come off the towpath yet. So this year they were looking for a different alternative to try not have to utilze the park police. So they asked if Todd and I could do a sweep on our bikes of the area that everyone is to be hiking. It sounds like fun. I'm only hoping for good weather. It's a week from Tomorrow...on Nov. 3. It could conceivably be cold. And if today's weather is any indication...quite damp! That would be miserable. Todd and I agreed to do it regardless.....we can always go home, take a nice hot shower and feel better. :-) I'm looking foward to the ride. :-)

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Good Day

Today was a good day. I had a really good workout this morning!!!!!! Worked out for an hour! I ate wisely all day....for dinner I made Szechuan Chicken and Rice. Yummy! (ok, those of you who know me are probably laughing thinking about me eating an Asian inspired dish..when I'm not a big 'Asian' food lover...but it really is a yummy recipe.....if you want..just ask and I'll share) I then rode the exercise bike for about 30 minutes tonight. The second small workout was not becuase I overate or anything. It's because I just wanted to.

Work went well...fast and relatively smooth. It was a short day for me...so that was nice. :-) I got to spend a good deal of time talking to Janet during the down time...which is always a plus for me. No deep conversations today...but fun non-the-less.

TOdd found a picture of me that he is going to print out. I'd wager a guess that it's me at probably close to my highest weight. NOt something I really WANT to remember but something that I NEED to remember! So, I need to print it out and put it with my other 'fat' pictures. (this one that I found is the biggest...by far!)

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

A day off

Mom and dad came to dinner tonight. We had a nice time together. I so enjoy spending time with my parents. Dad brought his laptop and worked a while. In the meantime, mom and I must have been getting tired, because we sat in the living room enjoying each others company...but occaisionally laughing like hyena's at the simplest thing. :-)

I had meatloaf, mashed potatoes, corn and sauerkraut (and baked beans for dad). Not exactly the healthiest options out there. BUt managed and eaten accordingly. I've got just enough leftovers of the veggies that I'll be able to have a little smorgasboard of veggies tomorrow. Just about 1/2 cup of everything. Oh yes, and for dessert...home canned pears. YUMMY! I did step aerobics this morning. Felt good.

Todd and I got some stuff done today. We took another load of stuff to the mission. We are really making a dent in getting this stuff out of the trailer. We went to the board of zoning and planning and talked to them about the options for our land. We got some REALLY good news. It has been rezoned.....the old zoning was very restrictive....whereas the new zoning is no restrictions! We also got a few things from Lowes....a new screen door, wood for a repair...and electric line to fix the dryer electrical line (dryer repair guy...you better not be trying to get Lowes out of replacing our dryer that is still under warranty!!!)

Oh well...I think I'm going to retire to the bedroom and read for a bit. Todd has to get up early to work....and I don't have to be at work until 2PM.....woo hooo....I can exercise in the morning (that is not sarcasm...I prefer to exercise in the morning)!!!

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

The Birthday Boy

This morning Todd and I woke up and as we laid in bed cuddling he asked me what time I had to be at work. I answered Noon. He then started to talk about his 'birthday morning' plans. I was a bit paniced.....I didn't want to eat out. However, he simply wanted to go to town...get some iced tea (Arizona in the can.....found at CVS), go to JoAnn Fabrics to get something for a studio project, and go to Big Lots. Cool. So that is what we did. I did add in one more stop to the morning activities. We swung by the rescue mission to drop off another car load of stuff from the trailer. Todd was very quiet after we emptied the car at the rescue mission. I know what he is going through....after all, each load that we take to donate is his mother and grandmothers lives packed into boxes...and being given away. I know how that feels.....I went through it after my grandmothers death...and here he is doing it for his grandmother and his mother after having lost them both within a years span. As hard as it was, I know that he is satisfied with what he's done...because not only will someone be able to be clothed or decorate their house or get gifts for someone that they can afford....but the money that they make is also going to a good cause. We came home and I had a super yummy salad....dang that salad dressing that I've been making (Grandma Near's Salad dressing) is soooo good! Todd has requested Taco's for dinner. So I pulled out a pack of ground turkey for that. What the birthday boy wants...the birthday boy gets I guess. :-)

My weight did come down a LITTLE today. But after eating chinese...oh yes and the birthday boys brownie with ice cream (fat free of course...Bryers, fat free double churned, now that stuff is GOOD) that we had when we got home, (It's gone...so I won't be tempted today) I'm not surprised.

I still can't find that pesky missing tea! Todd asked again if I'd found it. My last hope is that it somehow fell out of my purse and got pushed under the seat of the car (how, when the bag was INSIDE my purse....closed up...but I'll look).

I'm still full of long ago memories that our time away in Lancaster and at the Rennfest brought to the surface. Makes one Melancholy for times and people from the past. Wow...I just walked back to my computer and when it rains it pours memories. While I was away, I was up front talking to the girls that I work with. Somehow the subject came up on mice.....and I told them the story about how I had mice lunge at me and the time my friend was coming over...and there was a dead mouse stuck to the bottom of the sofa (unbeknownst to me...although I did have an inkling that there was a dead mouse SOMEWHERE). I told them how my friend thought it was my baking that smelled so badly. Oh my......

Hmmm...tis about 3PM...should I have my mid-afternoon snack of grapes now?

Monday, October 22, 2007

Learning as I go

I made an interesting discovery about myself tonight. We were eating out at our favorite Chinese restaurant....the portions are HUGE. AND of course my fav meal is not the healthiest option. Well, when I ordered I asked for a to-go box to be brought immediately. They didn't...so when the food was delievered I asked again..and he brought it right away. I put half of my food in the box and closed it up. Out of sight...maybe not out of mind...but away and I didn't eat it. Well, I admit that I was sitting there going...I could still eat it....and I said something to myself that really made sense. I said to myself, "Yes, this meal is heavenly...but there is no reason to overeat it....because if I wanted to, I could come back next week, or tomorrow, or heck in an hour and get the same thing" It really nailed me. Yes, when I was away this past weekend, I did eat some stuff that I normally wouldn't have....however I had made that decision because it was 'special' things that I don't or can't get often! Shoefly pie....I can only get the kind I like in Lancaster (I don't like the ones that the local bakery makes) So that was a healthy decision...but chinese at the local place...I can get that any old time. Does any of that make sense????

Found a reallly cool quote...it's actually from one of the contestants on the Biggest Loser from this season. It is in reference to questions that are asked her about if she ever got to eat 'good' food. " Well first let me say ALL the food is good. Once you detox your body of all the chips, soda, french fries, cup cakes, you will enjoy fish and chicken and vegtables. Give "good" food a chance. I promise it won't let you down."
The water is a huge thing. I ate healthy yesterday...which I do know contributed. However, I think the biggest factor was the water. I actually drank a healthy amount of water. AND...3 of the 5 pounds that I gained while we were gone is gone! Yes, three pounds.....in one day. So, that just proves that I was retaining some mad water weight.

Todd has been battling a sore shoulder/neck for the last few days. So I'm praying for him to be healed.

I haven't exercised today...however I plan on getting out on my bike after I get off work. I should be getting off work at about 3PM today.

This weight loss thing is still a topic of conversation that is very near and dear to my heart. I truely am blessed with an interest in this subject. I don't proclaim to be an expert....but I'm very interested in the subject.

Wow.....I was just busy for a bit...ok, like an hour (ok ok ok, I was talking with co-workers for part of that time) and in that hour, I've developed a sinus pressure/headache. Dang...that is NOT fun!

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Nothing seems Equal

Woah doggie! It's sickening how fast weight comes on! ANd equally sickening to think about how long it takes to eradicate that same amount of weight. It is definitely NOT equal! AT all! I will say that my 4-5 pound gain (yikes, that hurts to actually write it out...but yes, the scales are showing me about 4.5 pounds up after our little trip!!!). But, admittedly, I allowed myself to dehydrate while we were travelling. I didn't even drink HALF....ok, even a fourth of what I normally drink! So I'm sure that a good portion of that gain is water retention! I enjoyed my time away...and the food I ate, the weight gain was very worth it for the pleasure received during the trip.

Meanwhile, I'm back and raring to get back to eating healthy! I spent some time in the kitchen today cleaning, cutting, slicing and dicing all my fruits and veggies that I bought. So I'm ready for the week. :-) Then I had a extra yummy salad. I've been making a fabulous dressing. It's reminicent of a french dressing...but is very similar to a vinagrette. Go figure. All I know is that this stuff is good enough to go and simply eat a spoonful of it...without the salad! :-)

I think I'm going crazy. We bought some really cool tea at the REnn Fest at one of the shops. I SAW the lady put them in the bag. I immediately tied the bag shut and put it into my backpack. I opened it up today and only one tea was there. Go figure? Poor Todd.

We were talking at the rennfest. Yesterday was only the second time that Todd and I have visited the Renn fest by ourselves out of the eight total times we have visited the rennfest since we've been a couple. It was enjoyable to be with my beloved though. :-) However, it did bring back lots of memories of these other visits and those friends. Bittersweet memories in some cases. Ahhh...water from the "caves of aquafina"...and Anne of Boelyn blatantly checking out the men. :-)

This morning I got myself up and out of bed and exercised. After that, we started talking and decided to go hiking in the woods. We went over to our property. We filled our water jugs, I loaded the old car with more of the stuff that we are donating to the rescue mission (will this cleaning out process EVER be over) and then we took off through the woods. We walked our property line first....and then mosied back through the other property (which we have permission to hike one by the owner). It was very rough going as the paths haven't been attended to in at least 10-15 years. We had our backpacks on and we picked up stones when we got to the river. I picked up small stones to use to build a fireplace in my dollhouse that I am redoing (the dollhouse that my grandfather built for me back in the 70's....the log cabin) and Todd picked up big smooth ones to build a sound diffuser for the studio...sounds interesting. We loaded our backpacks.....nice and heavy and started back up the hill and over the terrain. It was a pretty good workout!!!

Saturday, October 20, 2007

Todd's Birthday Trip

Well, our trip is over. We did what we had planned to do. We went to Lancaster and we also went to the Maryland Rennassaince Festival. We had a great time! In Lancaster we were able to go to all the places that we love to visit. I did splurge and eat a piece of Shoefly Pie. It was soooooo heavenly! Utterly orgasmic it tasted so dang good. :-) It is truely amazing how good food tastes when you are not constantly shovelling it down your throat! Today we went to the Rennfest. It was great. The weather was wonderful! We usually like to go to the renn fest in cooler weather, and at first I was dissapointed that it was so warm...but it turned out to be very nice. Lots of walking..and it was so crowded that at some of the stages, it was standing room only....and we stood. :-)

Food wise, I would call our trip a bit of a binge. Not that I ate all that horribly...but I made more unhealthy choices. I got those 'bad' foods that I sometimes like out of my system. Yes, I had french fries for the first time in MONTHS...probably years! This weekend...a very small order of them! My shoefly pie....oh yes, and one day we stopped at Bob Evens for breakfast (it was on the way to where we were going) and I had the cinnamon cream pancakes....heavenly! But, healthy food is back! I enjoyed my 'binge' (if I can call it that)...but my body is really craving the healthy stuff. :-)

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Two steps forward I take .......

I just want to start singing Paula Abdul....Two steps forward, I take two steps back....... Yes, that's how I feel. I had an incredible loss last week...and a 2 pound gain this week! I know that I'm directly responsible for some of it. However, I will say that the ick is right around the corner and that causes water retention..and thereby weight gain. But I'll be brutally honest and admit that I caused some of the weight gain this week! While i didn't eat too terribly, I didn't eat too well. AND my exercise just kinda went right down the toilet. ZILCH! I'd like to be able to say without a shadow of a doubt that I'm focused and ready to face this week and conquer this battle...but Todd and I have some time off of work and we are goign to be doign a bit of travelling. OUCH. That doesn't bode well for eating....or exercising! I wasn't able to get us a hotel with an indoor pool (and the outdoor pool isn't goign to help much now) but at least it does have a fitness center. I just need to be religious and use it!!!

Saw a quote that I liked the other day. "Weight loss is not a destination....it's a journey" How true!

Monday, October 15, 2007

What's up with my motivation and or body! This week I've struggled again! ArrgghH!

I'm trying to drink my water today. I dind't drink halfways near enough water yesterday and I know I was shy on Saturday also. That's not cool. I've done pretty good...but I can tell that I hadn't drank enough the last few days.....because I've been in the bathroom constantly! Oh well!

This morning my weight was showing me up some. But, with the water thing...and some other things that I've got moving in the right direction, I may be able to squeak out a maintain! Oh I hope I hope I hope!

Wednesday, October 10, 2007


Lost 4.6 pounds last night at my weigh in (ok, technically I lost them throughout this past week...but offically weighed in last night). That means I recouped my 2 pound gain from last week...plus some! I'm pretty tickled with it! I am not allowing myself to relax though. Because once I let down my guard, I'll stop losing! I so need to get to goal...at least my weight watchers goal (the highest weight I can be and maintain to be lifetime....in order to stop paying). This morning, the scales showed me down even further..which is totally awesome.

It seemed like for so long I was just sitting dead in the water. Now it seems as if my body is actually willing to lose the weight (if I do my part...before I could do my part and the weight wasn't dropping). SO I'm planning on running with it!

Sunday, October 07, 2007

Like I feared, the scales were up a bit today. Not in panic mode..but I did count my points religiously. I also got up and did a short workout this morning.....notice I said short. It was only 20 minutes. So, here I am tonight...riding the exercise bike. Although, I've discovered that riding the bike and playing on the computer at the same time really makes the time fly by! It's awesome. If I'm sitting watching tv then I'm very cognizant of the fact. Reading is a bit better...but I'm still cognizant of how much time is passing.....each page turn is a bit more time passing! I know roughly how many pages I need to read to 'pass the time". Sooooo to my delight...even though I have the computer clock, the time just flies by without me really being aware!

So, I'm really workking on it today...I'm deterined to get this weight off!

Todd mentioned starting a family sometime soon. I want to get this weight off first though!!!!!!!

Saturday, October 06, 2007

Tired by happy

I'm way too tired to write right now. Yesterday was a LONG day...started at 6AM...ended at 2AM this morning.....

BUT, as for today my weight is my all time low 185.8. I splurged a little today...so I"m hoping that my weight stays the same!

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

The addiction thing is so true. On monday night, Todd and I went out to eat dinner. We were at a buffet/salad bar. I am usually able to stay away from the dessert bar, or at least manage it with healthy choices. Well, after my week I was just plain and simple disgusted. My weight jumped up...and wouldn't go back down...no matter what I did! So Monday night rolls around and my mentality was that, "heck, if the scales are gonna show an increase, I may as well at least eat something that I'll enjoy at lesat once!" So I hit the dessert bar. I got a small piece of cake! IT was scrumptious! Absolutely delicious! I sat at the table and pondered...and pondered! It was so dang good that I had to head back for me! I got a total of two more pieces. Oh yes, and the pudding, and the icecream! On the way home, todd and I talked about it and I realized that yes, That was totally a sign of addiction. I ate that first piece of cake and it was soooooo good. I finished the cake and that feeling of satisfaction wasn't there any longer. I wanted to feel that again...so I got another piece of cake. And another. BUT, what I realized.....that 'high' only came wiht the first few bites of the cake. I really didn't totally enjoy the second and third pieces of the cake! It was only that initial high that tasted good....yet I strived to get that feeling again and again and again! If that's not an addiction, then what is?

Today I had mom check my blood sugar levels and my blood pressure. Things are all in line! I'm relieved about that!

I was up a bit at my weigh in...but it's all good! We learn from the rough times. Chalk up another lesson learned for me! :-)