Wednesday, August 26, 2020

What is wrong with me?

What is wrong with me???  I literally can't seem to stop eating!  I tell myself that I'm going to get it under control.  No more.......Yet when it comes time to eat I just eat with abandon! There is a war waging in my head and the fat side is winning!

Yesterday I literally stood in the kitchen putting some chips in a bowl and I literally told myself "Maryfran, you shouldn't eat want to be thin"   and I then immediately said "I don't care" and I ate the chips in the bowl. I sometimes say "tomorrow"  or "my next meal I'll be good".  But yesterday I just didn't care......but I cared about the numbers on the scale and how bloated I feel!

Hey, at least I am putting them in the bowl versus eating the straight out of the bag because we all know that if I did that....the bag would be gone in one sitting! 

I am miserable and feel bloated and icky.  I want to be thin and feel good about myself.  Yet I want to eat what I want and when I want.   I know I can't have it both ways!  Yet I sit on the fence and often fall onto the fat side of the fence!  

This is so difficult and I so wish there was an easy answer!!!!!

I seriously must be insane!