Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Where I'm at

I'm not in a good place.  I am disgusted with myself.  I'm saddened by the fact that I did something that I swore I would never do (regain the weight).  I'm mad at my body for the signs and symptoms that the added weight have returned to me.  I'm angry at the addiction that seems to take over.   But in the same breath, I feel anger at myself for not being able to control my addiction.

I think what makes it worse is that I've felt the taste of thinness.  I've felt what it feels like to live without weight related aches and pains.  I've tasted the the sweetness and I want it back!!!!!

My eating has actually been within my points range both on Monday and Tuesday.  Admittedly, Monday while it had lots of fruits and veggies was a little heavy on carbs.  Tuesday, I got in an hour of tennis and an hour of zumba.....but I had a really late dinner (9PM).  But I was within my points allotment for the day. So taht's good.   I'm trying!  I hope that I can see some progress on the scales SOON!