Afternoon update

I had my super yummy lunch. Lots of leftovers. I had leftover sauerkraut and green beans and some pumpkin mousse/fluff. YUMMY. I also threw in a clemantine and a kiwi! Filled me right up!

Now to make sure I exercise tonight when I get home!!!! What do to... I was dissapointed becasue the two nice days that we've had recently...I wanted so bad to be out on my bike riding outside...and alas, I was stuck inside and busy! That really bites! At least dinner won't be much work as I actually prepared it yesterday and I have left instructions for Todd to put it in the oven so that it is ready when I get home.

So far today the foot isn't aching as badly as it was yesterday. That's a really good thing!!! Especially when it comes to exercising tonight!

Thanksgiving, aches and pains and extreme tiredness

The day before Thanksgiving was busy. Todd and I ran around and did errends all morning. We went to Longhorn for lunch. We had a complimentary meal coupon (because of a problem during a previous visit). I had a salad, a baked sweet potato, brandied apples and some steamed veggies. I could only eat half of the steamed veggies...there was too much food (todd helped a bit with the apples also). When we got home, we moved a piece of furniture to our storage place, moved some train layout boards to a shed and brought down the Christmas decorations from the attic. I then spent a couple hours really cleaning the living room (moved furniture and all that) and putting up the Christmas decorations. I ran out and got us subs from Subway at around 6PM. Came home, ate my sub and went into the kitchen where I did my cooking for Thanksgiving day. At about 8:30 our piano tuner came (it was a scheduled visit)....so it was about 9:30 or so until I was able to fall into bed exhausted. (Oh yes, I had exercised early that morning).

The alarm went off at 6AM on Thanksgiving day. I diligently went to the living room (aka workout room) and worked out for just under an hour. I had breakfast, showered, did a load of laundry and got everything ready to take to mom's. I also got Todd's breakfast ready...he was exhausted on Tuesday so I wanted him to be able to sleep as long as possible. (He hadn't budged as I'd moved around the house). I woke him up 20 minutes before we had to leave.

We got to mom's at around 9:30 (we left our house at 8:15...picked up Ronnie at 9...and at mom's by 9:30). I peeled potatoes and helped mom out in the kitchen for a bit....and we took time to sit in the living room and chat when we could. For lunch I ate a little bit of meat, sauerkraut, green beans, baked butter beans, mashed potatoes, harvard beets, peas, stuffing (yum, I LOVE my mom's stuffing). For my sweet tooth I had some jello with mandarin oranges and some pumpkin mousse! (Yummy!.....I'm having more for lunch today.... 1 point for 1/2 cup!). My indulgance yesterday...I had a piece of applesauce cake and a snickerdoodle cookie that mom had made for dad. I also drank my full 64 ounces of water!

Soooooo....knowing that...and seeing that I didn't eat like a mad woman. WHY THE HECK is my weight showing me up 5 POUNDS since Tuesday morning???????? Ok....5 pounds times 3500 calories that make up a pound....that's a HECK of a lot of food! In fact, that's 17500 calories to make up that five pounds. There is NO WAY IN HECK that I ate 17500 extra calories in two days! I'm not overly upset...because I know that I didn't eat that much food. I'm just disgusted...because I do feel as if I ate wisely! Oh well...that's the nature of the beast!

I'm thinking about not weighing myself again until next Tuesday morning. SO I don't panic or obsess about. Just eat right the next couple days and take it like a man....err woman!

What's up with the weather??? One day I'm wearing shorts and tee shirts...the next day my winter coat????? I don't like this.....because i'm STILL constantly cold!

Yesterday evening I was just exhausted. I think the busyness of my few days just really caught up with me! We got home and I put my leftovers away...and put together a Shepherds pie for dinner tonight. It was all I could do stay awake. I ended up falling asleep for about a half our or so. ANd that was good enough to hold me through until a 'decent' time to go to bed. HOWEVER, Todd and i were in bed at 7PM...watching tv. :-)

Aches....my feet are soooo sore! The one hurts so horribly! It's a real struggle to exercise because of the pain! In fact, this morning...I struggled with actually exercising. The alarm went off an hour early so I could get up and exercise. However, it was cool in the house (dang weather changes), my foot hurt like a banshee, and last but not least...I was just struggling with waking up! I WILL exercise tonight!!! I even asked Todd to help me to actually do it!!!!

Holiday Manifesto

Saw this online and it was a good reminder! It would work for any special occaision!!!
1) it's ONE DAY out of the year. So have anything (within reason), and don't stress. Enjoy it.
2) Savor foods that are particular to that holiday, and skip anything that you don't really care as well as things that are always available throughout the year - ie. the bread basket, cheese tray, etc.
3) Remember: one day means back to good habits the next day - no excuses.
4) Go for a long walk after the meal!

Core Day 7....and The END

Well....day seven of my core week is almost over. I can see why people would like to do core. However, I know without a shadow of a doubt that it is not for me. :-) Although I would be tempted to do core over a holiday, for the simple fact that if I chose my foods carefully I wouldn't have to worry about portions or how much I was eating!

Woah.......it's now Tuesday morning. I forgot that I was in the middle of writing my blog...turned off the monitor to go make dinner...and never went back to the computerlast night. Turned on my monitor this morning and was confronted with the first paragraph of my blog entry!

Well....Core is officiallly done. I'm glad that I experienced. I can see why people like it. But I'm happy to be back to flex!

I did weigh in at my lowest ever this morning.....182.8. SO I"m happy about that!

Core Day 6

I'm gonna finish this week if it kills me! Ok, so today wasn't all that bad. I can just realize that this option in the weight watchers is just not for me. I'm down to about 183.2 pounds. So it hasn't been all that bad. However, that's where I was before the ick hit. So for me, at least I didn't gain! Oh well.

Spent some time with mom again today. We had to make our plans for Thanksgiving day. We are in the process of changing out plans. :-) I think we are going to end up making a T-day dinner ourselves. Why spend $100 dollar for 5 people to eat...when we can prepare the exact same thing for a fraction of the cost.

Day Five Core

Core is going ok. I'm on day five. I've already figured out that Core is definitely NOT something that I would be satisfied doing long term. It is way to restrictive. Yeah, I know that I could use my flex points for those 'extras'. But it just still seems too restrictive! I'm determined to go through the entire week though...and considering I'm on day 5, I think I'll make it. There is merit to this plan..just not for me.

Yesterday I was 183.0 Today I weighed in at 183.6. I've been trying to figure out exactly why. We had a crock pot meal...diet coke chicken....over whole wheat pasta. Corn (frozen...from my garden), and applesauce. I did use 3 flex points and had a bite of dessert. I've been trying to figure out what caused my weight to jump .6 pounds. The only thing I can think of. I put salt in the corn. The diet coke has sodium...and ketchup is high in sodium (right?). I did drink more than my 64 ounces yesterday...so that shouldn't be a factor. So I'm thinking the sodium is probably it. We'll see though! Not too worried about it though.

Had a nice visit with the pastor last night. He seems like a really down to earth guy. Not overly legalistic or anything like that....which is good! :-) His preaching is top notch, which is the important thing. We are very impressed with him and his views. He was apologetic about some and was like, if this scares you off, then so be it. I was like, "I'm here because of that view!" Basically he said he is more concerned about our spiritual walk versus building the church into a huge number. AMEN!

Thank heavens dinner last night turned out! haa haa haa. Ok, I knew it would...it's one that we've had before! :-)

Tonight for dinner we are having ham steak, pasta salad (not core....but that's for todd) and a variety of vegetables. I haven't decided, but I was originally planning on having parsley potatoes (yes, I can make them core...with the fat free butter)..but Todd mentioned wanting the pasta salad (luckily for me, he likes a creamy pasta salad...which I don't like...I prefer oil based pasta salads...so I won't be as tempted). So....the pasta salad may be parsley potatoes.....who knows. :-) I'd probably be better off without the potatoes! :-) What to do...what to do....hmmm. Well, considering we will eat late tonight because of Todd's work schedule, I have plenty of time to think about it! Lunch will probably be tuna salad (made with FF mayo to be core), fruits and veggies. Yummy!

Core day 4

Ok, I'm feeling marginally better about this core thing today. I thought of a few options for lunch instead of salad that works. That eased my mind a whole lot! :-)

My lunch...I made homemade chicken salad (fat free mayo, celery, etc etc etc). I paired that with leftover corn from last night, pineapple, a kiwi and a clementine. Woah doggie, that clementine literally had 18 seeds in it!!!!! What they hey?

I'm not sure what's happening...but I think some emails that I'm sending AND receiving are disappearing out into oblivion! I have had about three people have to resend me something because I haven't received it. Go figure. Luckily my friends all know that as long as it isn't some foward, and is a real email...I respond....even if it's just to say thanks again! I don't know..but I have this thing that I don't like to be the last one to respond.

I had a nice productive morning today. I woke up and actually took an hour or so in bed to read. At 8, I mosied out to the living room (aka the workout room) and proceeded to do a workout. I had breakfast (oatmeal) ...then took pity on Todd and made him a western omelet. I made chicken salad for lunch, mixed up some jello (yeah, I always forget about jello, but I actually do like it), and put dinner in the crockpot (diet coke chicken). I emptied the dishwasher and reloaded it, straightened the kitchen, straightened the rest of the house, vacumned the whole house, folded and put away a load of laundry, showered, ate lunch and came to work. And here I sit. Tonight the pastor of the church that we recently started attending is coming over to talk. I'm not really looking foward to it.......Todd and I just went through this about a year an a half ago. We settled in the church, became members....became active...and then the rug was pulled out from under us. It's no fun! We tried to leave that church gracefully, without hard feelings and all that. BUT, the hurt is still there on our end. This on top of what the church that i was a member of (where my dad was a preacher) did a few years back.....not cool. BUT, Todd and I immediately tried a few churches. This one seemed to fit the best. So...tonight we get the 'home visit'.

Core Deep thoughts

Ok, I"ll get to the deep thoughts on core. However I need to vent and rant a bit. WHen I planned to do this 'core' thing. I sat down, looked online and at my recipe books and created a menu of core foods. I found recipes that we already eat that is core...and interspersed a few new 'experiemental' meals in to the menu. So I got off work at 6PM and came home all anxious to try out the meal for tonight...which was one of the 'experimental ones'. I had even found a 'core' dessert recipe to try for this meal. Well one hour later...and YUCK! The dessert...eeewwwww. The main dish was yucky also! I called Todd into the kitchen to give him the options. I had him try the main dish....he spit it out in the garbage can! What the heck???? Ok, so we win some, and we lose some.

So...I'm trying this core thing. I firmly believe in the weight watchers program. I myself am a flex girl. I think I've known it from the get go. I never had any real desire to try the core. But you hear people that rave about it. Then you hear about people that kick start their plateaus with one or two weeks of following the core plan versus the flex plan. I've been in this weird whirlpool of weight loss and that has prompted a bunch of people to encourage me to try the core plan. SOOOOOO I did. Day one wasn't too bad. I breezed right through it. Day two wasn't too bad. Then Day three hit. This morning was nice. I had my oatmeal...and thouroughly enjoyed not measuring it out. (Deducted one flex point for my brown sugar). Lunch wasn't too bad either. I had a banana and a big salad with all the trimmin's and fixin's. Doin' good. THEN hits dinner...and the fiasco with the new recipes. So that left me foodless. Todd said he wasn't all that hungry so he made a sandwich. Uhhhh what do I eat..what do I eat. I'm a more picky eater than some. My week was carefully planned out because of that. I stood in the kitchen literally in a tailspin. I ended up eating the corn (that was the only thing edible out of the meal...the corn that I had prepared as a sidedish), jello, a small salad (oh yeah..that's the next problem...I'll save that for the next paragraph though), Butter and Jelly BREAD (ww bread...fat free butter and Jelly...yep, there goes two more points deducted from my weekly totals). I finished eating and I was literally still hungry. So I trooped back to the kitchen and had some oatmeal...yep chalk up another point for more brown sugar! I feel satisfied now. But I was literally miserable because the options were not there. I stood in the kitchen and even though I rarely eat any of teh baked tortilla chips that my husband eats, I looked at them and thought, "I can't eat those" and that made me want them. EVERY WHERE I LOOKED, I saw food that I couldn't eat (shouldn't I should say) and I wanted it!!!! I'm much more able to manage it with the flex program . I think because nothing is taboo. If I want it, I eat it. Yeah, core is the same way...but becuase I'm a picky eater to begin with, I'm using some of those 35 flex points for stuff like the brown sugar. Hmmmmm.........

OK....salads. About a month ago (give or take) I went through a HUGE salad craze. I was hungry for salad's all the time. I hadn't had salad fixin's at the house for a few weeks and it actually sounded like a good idea for my lunches (ok...picky eaters options are more limited). Well....I've eaten...and I'm already sick of salads! What to do the rest of the week! :-)

So, on day three I can pretty much garauntee that the core plan will be something that I do very rarely if ever again! I do plan on sticking it out the rest of the week. AND, I BETTER lose big like so many people claim will happen!!!!!!

Core-Day three

Day three of my core experiment has commenced. I had my oatmeal....counted my flex point for the brown sugar and I'm rollin'! My weight yesterday was still floating at 185.2. Today it was down to 184.4. A couple things that may be affecting the weight to make it go down. Walking for like 5 hours straight. Core eating. The ick having arrived....which will in the very near future alleviate some water retention. So any of those things could have caused the drop in my weight. Looking realistically...I didn't drink enough water yesterday, so I highly doubt that water retention had anything to do with it. I'm tipping the bottle (the water bottle) today!

Battlefield Hike fallout........hmmmmm that sounds ominous! As for sore....my muscles are a bit sore from our walk yesterday. No becuase walking is so strenuous or anything...but because of the length of time we walked. What really hurts are my feet. I've always had feet problems......so being on them for that long kinda kicked up the pain a bit. It will pass...I'll just deal with it. :-) As Todd and I neared our home yesterday at the end of our walk/hike we were talking about how our feet were a bit sore and how we could feel that our muscles had been worked out. It brought up remembrances of some of our previous LONG walks/hikes. This was every bit as long as some of the past ones. There was one that we called the 'death march'....so you know how we felt when it was over! :-) So it has been neat to see how our endurance has changed over the years!

Didn't want to exercise today.....back to that slight soreness from yesterday. HOwever, I went ahead and thirty minutes down! I didn't do anything super high intensity...but I did something. Felt good! Woo hooo!

Core-Day 2

View from the Tower at the Antitam National Battlefield 11-14-07
What a lovely day for a hike. Todd and I woke up and mosied around. I made Spanish Omelets and Canadian Bacon for the two of us. I added toast for Todd. However, I refrained from having toast, as it is not on the core list of foods. It was a nice hearty breakfast and set us up for a wonderful experience outdoors. We checked our email accounts and did a few errends around the house and at about 9AM we were headed out the door. We didn't get far...and had to turn back....We couldn't remember if the stove had been turned off AND I had forgotten to put my cell phone in the backpack. Yeppers, the stove was off. Off we headed again. This time, we got down the main pike and onto the battlefield road. We were looking at our house from an angle that we don't see often and noticed the farm dog standing on the edge of the pike (busy road) staring at us. DARN! So....we started back. Luckily, when we moved out of his site, he mosied back up to lane and to the house.....Off we started again. We walked up roads, down roads, by monuments and waysides. We did climb the tower that stands sentinel at the end of Bloody Lane. From there we got the shot from above. Onward we went! Up hills and down hills we went. It was a beautiful day. The weather was perfect. We both wore jeans, tee-shirts and a sweatshirt. At the beginning of the walk, we needed the sweatshirt...but by the time we got around to Sharpsburg....3 hours later (ok, so we were technically never out of sharpsburg....we started on the North end...about 2 miles out....went out about 1-2 miles east of sharpsburg and ended up about 2 miles south of sharpsburg....then back into Sharpsburg. Anyway, by the time we marched into Sharpsburg, we had our sweatshirts tied around our waists. We stopped at the deli and had a delightful meal with Sallie and Amanda. The conversation was pleasant and as much appreciated, since I had seen neither of these two ladies in a while. We stopped at the bank to make a deposit picked up the mail from our PO Box and then we walked the two miles home. I won't lie...my feet were sore. We were just shy of 20K steps when we finally traipsed up our lane.

Core! So far so good. I made Core Spanish Omelets for breakfast...and Like I said earlier...I didn't have any toast with them! For me that is HUGE! But, I really do want to give Core a real chance! For lunch at the deli I ate a salad topped with chicken salad. I did dip into my flex points for the chicken salad....6 points (per the ingredient list....helps to know the proprietor...you can get exact calculations). I also splurged and had a Diet Pepsi. My usual rule is nothing other than water until AFTER the 64 ounces are down the hatch. I had drank a bottle of water while hiking...and I'd had two large 16 ounce glasses of water with breakfast, so I know I wasn't actually doing too badly! I guess I could actually use some of my many activity points that I earned today to cover my lunch. However, I'm going to simply count them. I plan on being strict this week while I'm on core...and that seems a bit like cheating!

The weight was still up today...but the ick started.....so hopefully in a few days the weight will drop again!

Mr. Bibbs 11-14-07
After we got home we worked to take the garbage down the lane. Yes, it is a two man job. One person to take the garbage down the lane...the other to make sure our 'friends' do not follow down to the main road. SO...I got the lovely job of playing with our batch of kittens. My favorite, Mr. Bibb's posed so perfectly for a picture that I couldn't resist snaping a shot off! Mr. Bibbs and his two brothers are both adorable...as is their mother, still practically a kitten herself! Why oh why do people think that animals are expendable...and thereby drop them off on the side of the road (Yes, this mother cat was dropped off, we assume when her previous owners figured out she was pregnant...and it is obvious that she was a domesticated cate!)

Hopefully we can find homes for them!!!! Meanwhile, they have our hearts!

My own personal miracle.

OK, so it wasn't any grand, "wow, I actually lost weight when I thought I had gained' miracle. However, I was pretty sure that I had gained about 2 pounds. So, when they said, 'you gained 1 pound" I was pretty tickled!

Tonight at our meeting we talked about how to navigate the holiday/thanksgiving dinner. At least I won't have scads of desserts and such to resist. I'll only have to worry about it actually AT the dinner. But when dinners over, and we leave the restaurant, the temptation will be GONE, over DONE! Woo hoooo

I was all bummed last night and today. It's been rainy and wet. We had been planning on hiking the trails on the battlefield tomorrow. Making a full day of it. Well, we know from having hiked the one trail that these trails are not exactly rough...but they are not ones that would be great if it was muddy. SO I've been bummed because I've been looking foward to it ALL week and it is looking like that plan is a no go. Well, on the way to work today I thought to myself. Why can't we leave our house and walk the roads through the battlefield. Yeah, it wouldn't be as pretty...but if we start at our end (the north end) and go the whole way to the southern end, we'd at least be getting in a nice long walk! A couple miles. Then we could still treat ourselves at the deli in town on our way back through. Which would be a treat. We have been cutting down how many times we eat out. Limiting it, I should say. Plus, the deli hasn't been on our top list of places to go since I worked there. So it would be a nice treat...and a fitting addition to a day of local activities. :-)

Tomorrow night we will be in Hagerstown for travelogue. That should be fun also! SO all in all, tomorrow may still end up being a fun day! Oh wait...I have to clean the house really good somewhere in there....in preparation for the preachers visit....hmmmmm think we can bar him entry to our part of the house and just meet him in the studio??? No MaryFran, that won't work! (oh my, am I now talking to myself also.) Ok...I'm scared now! haa haa haa

Am I due a Miracle?

No...I don't expect a miracle to occur! Although it would be nice. I'm actually expecting about a 2 pound gain this week. As disgusted as I am with that, I'm ok with it. I know why I'll show a gain...and there is pretty much nothing I can do about it...so there!

That brings me to a thought of mine. Some people don't weigh daily. I do. I think for me part of it is that I know my body flucuates in weight at certain times of the month. (thankfully now my flucations are only 2 pounds instead of the 10-15 pounds that I used to fluctuate). So isn't it better to know this? Isn't it better to face it daily instead of once a week and just happen to hit it on a high end fluctuation day? I think that would be much more devastating emotionally!

Another thing I noticed. Today, I put on a pair of dress pants that I purchased for the job that I'm currently working at. They were tight at the beginning of the summer. In fact, this particular pair of pants went into the closet and i didn't wear at first. So today I put them on....KNOWING that I've gained my monthly requisite of water weight and the pants are loose. Need a belt loose! NO...I didn't wear my new belt....brown pants and a black belt....nope, not gonna fly! Quite interesting!

Started the core thing this morning! I went to have my oatmeal. I normally measure out my cereal...it's way to easy to pour extra in. So I grabbed my measuring cup (as i normally do in order to measure out my portion of oatmeal) and all of a sudden it hit me...I don't have to measure my oatmeal...it's a core food..which means I can have as much as I want. So I simply poured in the amount that I thought would be sufficient. Same with the milk. I did however measure out the brown sugar that I added....and yes, I used a flex point for the brown sugar that I used. Hmmm....this will be interesting.

I was raving about how I didn't have to measure my oatmeal this morning and Todd was like, "man, I'm in for an interesting week. We'll be eating all we can possible eat of salads. Bowl after bowl' I just laughed. I think he may be in for a surprise, because I've got a pretty good menu planned out. One that I think he'll actually like and appreciate. Actually not at all restrictive. Now I'll admit...i'm a bit of a pickier eater, so I don't know that I would be happy with doing core week in and week out. But for this week, I think I'll make it! Even without the bread! :-)

Like I've said before (I think), this core thing is getting a leg up already becuase my weight is artificially inflated with this water weight. SPEAKING of.....could I be getting rid of some it? I will say I've been in the bathroom like 4 times in the last hour or so!!!! Dare a girl to dream?????

Small/Medium????

YEsterday I had to chuckle. A week or so ago, mom, dad and I were out for lunch together. Every time I stood up, I had to hitch up my pants. They weren't in danger of falling off...but they just didn't fit right anymore...starting to get loose...woo hooo! Mom was like, "put on a belt girl". I just laughed and said...SURE, If I had one. She looked at me and was like, "you've got belts" I had to answer and explain to her that yeah, I do have belts....ones that I wore when I was 300 plus pounds. I put them on now...and they wrap around me practically the whole way! So yesterday we were waiting in line at American Eagle Outfitters to pay. We saw the belts and just for giggles, I decided to try them on. The Large was way too big. (What???) So I tried on the S-M Yeah, it fit...with room to spare...it's not on the last hole or anything! I was laughing...I held up the belt and showed mom the size. Not that I'm even a solid medium yet....but it is a SMALL-MEDIUM! Yeah, I bought it....I liked it before I put it on. :-) Yeah, I'm saving the sizing tab to put in my scrapbook with the pages that chronicle my weight loss!

Weight loss....Yeah, I'm up! ARRGGHHH. I know it's the monthly 'ick'. There is no reason my weight would jump like that. Frustrates me to no end!

Mom and I are going out again today to do some shopping. Quite honestly, I"m REALLY hoping to get almost totally done with my shopping today! I know what I'm getting mom for Christmas AND her birthday......figured that out yesterday while shopping at the mall with her. I still need to get dad his birthday and some Christmas. But it would be splendid if I could pretty much finish up the kids and Cindy (still need a birthday gift for her!) Ok....I know I'm early for Christmas (ok, earlier than the average person). But my word....they put up Christmas decorations around here on the first of November!!!! Is it like that where you are at???? Yesterday at the mall they were playing CHristmas music! What's up with that. We shouldn't see that stuff, or hear it, until Thanksgiving!!!!!! What the hey?!?!?!?!?!?!? At least this year I don't have to have my gifts bought, wrapped and ready to present at Thanksgiving. This is our year to celebrate at Christmas! Speaking of that...in past years, mom has gone all out for both holidays. Even though it's only me for Thanksgiving. She invites people....and whatnot. That's a nice thing...but when you do both of the huge meals, one it gets expensive (ok, mom has historically asked tons of people) but also it is almost two much...too close together. So this year, Todd and I are taking his uncle out for Thanksgiving (to a restaurant) and mom and dad are joining us. It will kinda be nice to not have to do the work. However, I'll admit that there is something special about the house all filled with holiday cooking smells! :-)

I'm having a forgetful night...that and a weird spelling day!

Oh my....I forgot to say. I am grocery shopped up for the week! I'm ready to attempt this core thing! I'm quite honestly quite scared to do it! I mean, I can eat as much as I want of the 'approved' foods???? What if this backfires and I put on weight this week? I'm going to be so disspointed. Now, honestly, the ick is just around the corner, so I"m retaining water...so my beginning weight on Tuesday will probably be a bit skewed. But still.......

Yes, my weight is just flucuating like mad this week! It's showing me up at 185.2 this morning. Hmmmmmm. I was 183 last Tuesday and Wednesday morning! And since then I've been up! I know, historically speaking that I'm up for about a week before the ick hits...so I do expect it and know it's coming. However, it is still frustrating. All I can say is this. At lest it is only a 2-3 pound flucuation. When I first started this weight loss journey...back when I was 305 or so pounds....my weight would fluctuate about 10 pounds or more before the ick. At least the flucuations are getting 'smaller' also. haa haa haa

Busy Day

It's been a busy day. Woke up and exercised for 45 minutes, ate breakfast, got ready for church and lounged a bit before leaving for church. After church, I rushed around like a chicken with my head cut off making lunch. I made a Spicy Garlic Chicken with Jasmine Rice. YUMMY! Todd had to work at 1PM...thus the rush. After we ate, I did a few errends here at the house and then I hightailed it up to Hagerstown. Mom met me at the mall and we shopped for a couple hours. It was a very productive day for Christmas shopping! I got something for Bubby, Cindy, Dad, two of my small gifts for my work secret santa thing, and Todd. Ipuchased our 'yearly' ornament (we started the year we got married to get a yearly ornmament...we are doing the Hallmark 'cool decade' ornaments at this point). I also broke down and got Todd the Star Trek ornament that he's been DYING for. I also splurged and got him the "Major Award" ornamant....from The Christmas Story! I have it laid out on his desk....I can't wait until he comes up and sees it. I also bought some lotion from Bath and Body works...it actually seems to be helping my hand! (A Co-worker had me try it....so now I went out to buy my own!). Oh yes...and I got some three in one Peppermint Wash from Bath and Body. Yes, exciting stuff, I assure you. After all that excitement...I went grocery shopping! Yes, the fun continues! I came home and spent a while in the kitchen washing and chopping all my veggies for my salad, making homemade croutons, and mixing up a batch of salad dressing. SO I'm ready for the week!

I ate wisely today. I'm pretty happy with that. However, with all the running, I haven't drank near enough water! I'm drinking now...but I don't want to waterlog myself!

Sent an email to someone that I once considered one of my best friends. I'm not sure how that will go over. But I felt like I needed to do it. :-)

I spent a good portion of my afternoon getting myself ready for my grocery trip. I cut and organized my backlog of coupons. I also worked up my menu for the next week. Yeah, I do this everyweek....it keeps me from running to the store at every turn! BUT, this week took me longer.....I'm committed to doing the core program next week. I'm actually quite worried about it. It scares me to be able to eat as much as I want of the foods I eat. I've obviously had a problem with this in the past. So I'm actually petrified! But, I think it will be a good thing to try! I only hope and pray that I don't go backwards in my weight loss! A nice jump down would be really nice also!

I exercised before work this morning. Let me tell you...I HATE these early morning exercises. At least the sun comes up while I'm exercising now though! When it's over though, I feel sooo good!

After work (we are only open until noon on Saturdays) I also made some bread for Todd. I'm proud to say that I haven't had a bite of it! And bread is a HUGE downfall for me! YEah, that is another issue with Core....no bread...or else I count it! :-) I think I'm just going to not even buy bread this week! :-) We'll have to see! Not buying it would take away the temptation to eat it!!!!

My weight is doing it's monthly fluctuation in anticipation for the ick. Ticks me off! But oh well....I must live with it...as we all do (females that is)

Super Excited

Wooo hooo! It is amazing how something so seemingly little is so exciting! The dryer is DONE! It works wonderfully! I'm super excited!

Dinner was done when I got home tonight. I was nice and well worth the effort I made this morning! After dinner, I used up the few banana's that were starting to get soft (I only like my banana's when they hvae no black spots on them....when they start to speckle..they are tooo old. I prefer them firm). SO I made a big batch of banana muffins. I had a lot of points left over...so I did test the batter....and I did have a finished product. I made them with black walnuts (from my very own trees outside...picked, hulled and cracked by yours truely). I don't like black wlanuts...so they will not be at all tempting for me. :-) I froze half the batch...because Todd doesn't need to have that many muffins. THey would go bad before he could eat them all.

This morning I was almost in tears with dreading the thought of exercising! It was pitiful. I finally literally stopped and asked my self, "what is more important? Having an extra 45 minutes today or being thin? I chose being thin. :-)

I'm still planning on trying the core plan of weight watchers next week (my weight watchers week...starting Tuesday). I'm a bit nervous about it...but I'm going to give it a whirl. I plan on sitting down tomorrow after work and laying out my menus for the next week (something I normally do) and get myself all geared up for it!

Good quote...think I've put it in here before...but here goes again, "Pain is temporary, giving up is forever"

Ok, last winter I was cold all the time. I figured it was from the loss of all that fat....you know, it had to have been working as an insulator. Well, I had hoped that this year would be better. Is it? HECK NO! I'm already about frozen solid and it's not that overly cold out! This is terrible! That is probably the only negative to losing all this weight!

I was down a bit on the scales...not down to the 183 that I was at on Tuesday and Wednesday morning. BUT down from the 185.2 that I was at yesterday morning. I was a dead on 184 pounds this morning. That makes me VERY happy! I want to bring it down further...obviously!

This morning I was the exact same weight as a friend. It really makes me think. My friend who is the same weight wears a 8/10. Me, I'm in a 14/16. What the heck. Yeah yeah, I know that everyone carries their weight differently...but that's a HUGE difference! What in the world will I need to get down to in order to wear an 8?????? NUTTY!

I planned out what we are having for dinner. I actually did a good deal of the prep work....that way when I get off at 6 or 6:30 it twill be quick. I showed Todd what has been done and left instructions...that way, if he is done with his work, he can get it started! Woo hooo.

Work...Todd. Well.....he is working on fishing a wire through the wall. Our dryer electric line...the cable that goes from the dryer outlet to the breaker box apparently doesn't work. Our dryer was under warranty and stopped working....we called the service guy. He put a new motor in and found it still didn't work. LOVELY. Yeah, that left it being the line....joy joy. So, we bought the line...and 'rigged' it up (basically connected it at the breaker box...and ran it up the stairs and through the halls and hooked it up at the outlet) to check it. Yeah, it worked GREAT! SOOOOO thus commences the 'fishing' expedition. I'm praying that he can get it. It was being very stubborn this morning!!!

Tired Evening

After work, I rushed home and Todd and I beat a path down to Frederick were we dined at Brewers Alley. I got a pasta dish and salad. I had 18 points...so I'm very good with what I ate. Intrinsically, I know that I could actually 'afford' to get a 1 or 2 point ice cream bar. But honestly, I want it...but I realize that I don't need it. Does that make sense. I think I want it because I know I CA have it.

Thank goodness I dont' have to wake up early tomorrow to exercise! I don't have to go into work until 1PM....so that will be nice.

Meanwhile, I'm so excited about our plans for next Wednesday. We have a HUGE hike planned. A Couple hours worth! I've got to remember to take my camera!!!!!!

So Far So Good

Yes, I've been 100% on track today with my mission. I got up an hour early and exercised. I've eaten what I planned to eat...in preparation for going out to eat. (Last we talked we were still planning on going to Brewers Alley). So all it good. The weight was a bit up today. However, I'm not too worried. I did eat a little 'extra' yesterday. Plus, eating at a buffet you expect the sodium to be higher than I what I normally consume. SO I'm sure i'm retaining some water. We'll see!

I'm excited. Yesterday I found two gifts for my niece and nephew. It is a very tricky process this year as my family is trying to go without anything made in China. VERY difficult. So today, we had to run to the educational store while I was at work (for work) and I found another toy! Woo hooo! VERY EXCITED!!!!

Happiness and despair

Ok, so I'm not really in a state of despair. However, I allowed myself to have a free meal today. I didn't feel sick after I ate..however I was full! I also ate foods that I normally wouldn't have. Did I enjoyit? EVERY BITE! I did eat more lightly for dinner tonight. So we'll see how it goes on the scales.

My official weight last night was 184.6. That does sound about right. I weighed in at 183 at home...nekid as a jaybird. And I do know that the clothes that I wore would be about a pound and a half or so. So...I'm ok with it all. :-) How could I not...if I go my official weigh ins...then 184.6 is my lowest yet! WOo HOOOO! I'm sooo going to make my new years goal!!!!

Today Todd and I took another load up to the Rescue Mission. I'm very happy to announce that we have ONE more load to take up and then we will be DONE! I'm super excited...this is just one more step done...and almost at the end might I add of a LONG, DIRTY, NASTY project that started in APRIL!!!!! We also ran into the mall and walked around and went to Target. I bought two things for Christmas gifts. Yeah me! :-) BUt anyway...once we got home, I decided to finish up the organizing of my craft stuff! I'm so proud to announce that it is DONE! (What's up with me????)

Exercised this morning before we left for town. Really hard workout.....but bad because when I was done I actually felt lightheaded and like I was going to pass out. Everyonce in a while that happens if I"m pushing myself too hard! But...at least I know I got a good workout today. :-)

Tomorrow I work from 7:45AM until 6:15 PM. Long day. I've already got my lunch partially packed so I'm ready to go. I'll get up 2 hours early. Exercise during the first hour and then get ready to go. :-) Todd got a check in the mail the other day as a belated birthday gift. We are going to use it to go out to eat. I think we are going to go down to Brewers Alley in Frederick tomorrow night. It should be good food...and I can eat sensibly there! (Just in case, I've planned my lunch to compensate somewhat.)

So, here I sit at my computer. Last year, my computer somehow miraculously 'lost' all of my music on ITunes. Quite nutty....and since I don't keep my christmas music on my actual IPOD, it went POOF. Not a big deal...I have the original CD's. So it's just a matter of dumping them back onto my computer. That's my project tonight. I'm hearing a sampling of christmas Music as I dump it all on....it's GREAT! I LOVE CHRISTMAS MUSIC!!!!!!!

Finally some Pictures!

This one was taken of me in January of 2003. I was probably somewhere near my highest weight when this picture was taken. (300+ pounds)

These last two pictures are of me today, November 6, 2007. I weighed in this morning at 183 pounds.

Yes, I've still got a ways to go. I see the negatives when I look at the picture...but when I look at before and after side by side...eii yiii yiii,the negatives don't seem as big (no pun intended)

Woke up, and as it is my 'off' day for exercise I putzed around the house for an hour or two. Todd and I then went on a nice hike. Only about an hour.....but it was wonderful. We hiked a trail on the battlefield that we had recently discovered but never hiked. IT was a bit rugged, but nothing difficult. Felt good to be out in the brisk fall air!

I'm hoping tha tmy body is adjusting to the cool. Last fall and winter I was FREEZING...this year, while I get chilled, so far it's nothing really bad! No where near like it was last year!

Today is my short day at work. Woo hooo! So I don't have to go in until 2PM. After work I'll head up to my Weight Watchers meeting. Hopefully the scales at home and the scales there are compatible today (some days I wonder....)

Evening musings

Todd and I did indeed go for a walk. It was nice and crisp outside. We walked for about 45 minutes. We decided to go to the battlefield. It was quite enjoyable. However it really made me start to think about all the time we wasted. We live in an area that is just overflowing with really neat places to walk and hike.....and we never really did it. Being on a path to a healthier life really has opened our eyes to new and exciting things!

Dinner was interesting. I tried a new recipe...someone online "RAVED" about it. It was called "Southwest Easy Oven Chicken" Yeah, it was easy. It wasn't bad. It just wasn't something that I'd rave about. I've not yet decided if it will be a 'return visit' meal. Most likely not. :-) Oh well... That's the joy of trying new things...sometimes they just don't hit our palate like it does others.

After dinner Todd had to work. I mosied into the bedroom. We don't have closets in our house (gasp away...it's terrible...but old houses don't come equipped with the wonderful closets....so we put ONE in...but it's super crowded). THe lack of closets causes our dressers to be clogged and overstuffed. Often when I put the clean clothes away, I end up stacking them off to one side of the dresser or on top of the cd rack ....which I don't really worry about since most of my cd's are downloaded to my IPOD, which is what I use 99.9% of the time. So my mission tonight was to bring order to my clothes. Put everything away and make it nice and neat. My mission though was two-fold. I wanted to get the 'fat' stuff out. I do this periodically. I get rid of the stuff that is too big. SOOOO I tried on clothes tonight. I have my bag of stuff to ship up to mom's (for her to look at...then to pass on to Karla...and then on to the rescue mission). I also tried on a few things from my 'not quite yet' drawer/basket. Yep...some things fit me...so I'm pretty darn excited!

I think Todd and I are going to hike some of the nature trails that we 'discovered' on the battlefield. We never knew about them...but low and behold, there they are! Ok, so we probably never noticed because we are usually on the North end of the battlefield and they are more on the south end....except when we are flying by on our bikes....and in which case we dont' stop to read the signs! haa haa haa! We made our discovery this summer...and we've been meaning to get out and go. Since tomorrow is my technically my off day from exercise, a nice hike would be a good option. (ok, so I'm nuts and still try to do something active on my off days).

Speaking of exercise....this past week...I exercised 5 out of 7 days. I had my off day....which I was ok with. YEs, I aim for working out 6 days a week. HOWEVER, on the one day we worked in our garden for 5 hours. We pulled the rest of the plants (what was left of them....), spread our summer compost (the compost we 'created' this summer) and tilled that in. Then we covered our garden with a fresh layer of straw. We also pulled what needed to be pulled from the flower, cleaned out the shed, did the garbage, etc etc etc. Man was my back sore when we were done! SO, even though it wasn't TECHNICALLY exercise, I think it was probably every bit as physically demanding as any formal exercise routine.

Today I just sat and looked at the post it notes stuck to my monitor. Yes, I have the normal to-do or 'remember this' post its (ok, only three). But the other ones are the ones that I really sat and looked at. One is a brief paragraph about my goals and my plan to achieve my goals. Another one is a post it that simply says "healthy weight range 132-164" That is my healthy weight range and what I'm aiming for. I don't know where I'll actually land..I only know that I'm aiming to land somewhere within that range. I do know that I've picked a number in my head...pretty much in the middle of the range as a mental figure. ONe of the other slips lists my weight on Oct. 30th (187) and then states my New Years Goal...which is 175 lbs. Don't know what made me really sit and look at those slips today..but it did make me really think about my goals and quite honestly what I need to do to get there.

Monday Morning

I have been able to keep that emotional eating under control. It's not as if I ate all the bad stuff that's at the house (I actually don't keep much bad stuff at the house....easy for me since my husband is also trying to lose weight). BUT my portions. At dinner, I ate TWO HUGE portions...QUICKLY! One portion was ok...but two was overboard. It just happened because I was upset while we ate and I shovelled and kept shovelling without thinking. :-)

We did our ride on Saturday. It was wonderful weather. I was comfortable in sweatpants, a tee shirt and a sweatshirt. Todd only wore sweatpants and a teeshirt. I had asked him if he needed a sweatshirt and he was like, "no...I'll be fine. Yeah, famous last words...he was cold! Regardless, it felt really good to be out on my bike! Fun activity!

We ended up going out to dinner.....for our weekly eat out. (ok, this week we'll end up eating out again....he has a board meeting to attend on Wednesday...so I'll probably go out to lunch with mom and dad while he eats at the board meeting.) We got home and I putzed around the house for a bit...and was simply relaxing. I just felt like I needed to move. SOOO I got up and cleaned the living room and office. A BIG cleaning...as in I moved all the furniture cleaning.

Sunday morning I woke up and with the time change I had lots of time before church. I made pancakes for breakfast and then I spent a good deal of time in the kitchen organizing and cleaning that from top to bottom. (Yeah, I don't know what struck me...but it struck so I ran with it). I followed up my morning cleaning spree with 45 minutes of heavy exercise. It was a great workout!!! After church, Todd finished hanging the screen door (we had started it on Saturday but had to stop to do that ride....because we had committed to do it at a certain time). I ran and got water, and dropped some stuff in storage. Then we ran to town, went to Sam's and the grocery store. Got home, had dinner and relaxed the rest of the night. Oh yeah, I rode the exercise bike for a short time....15 minutes or so.

Set the alarm early this morning...and I resisted temptation. I didn't reset it when it went off. I got up and exercised for that hour! So I'm all exercised up for the day. However, I get off work at 3 today. Todd doesn't work until 6 tonight. SOOO we have a gap of time. I will need an hour or so to make dinner...which we want to eat at 5:30....so that still gives us 1 1/2 hours to go for a hike or something....which Todd wants to do!

My weight was a bit up today. I'm wondering if it is water. I had a bag of 100 cal pack chips...and I had sauerkraut (ok, I love sauerkraut...does that make me weird?????). Both of those things are really high sodium. I'm just determined to be good today...watch my sodium and all that because I want the scales to be nice to me for my official weigh in tomorrow night!

I did very good eating wise today. However last night, my husband and I were talking while we ate....and I learned something. DO NO TALK ABOUT UPSETTING ISSUES WHILE EATING! Yeah, we were having pesto with girlled chicken. I had very little chicken (as I don't like much meat) but the pasta and pesto I had calculated and portioned out. Well, I shovelled it in so fast...that before I could think I was going back for seconds!!!! And then I had dessert! (WW sundae cup..but still!) So I got hit with an emotional eating episode!

Like I said...today I've done pretty good. Emotions are still pretty ragged...but I"m resisting the temptation to drown out my sorrows with food. I guess I realize that I'll eat...and it won't make things better. IN fact, it makes things worse because I either A. Feel so yucky after I shovel in all that food or B. I feel guilty after shovelling in the food. ANd sometimes it's a combination of the two!

Tomorrow Todd and I are doing the sweep ride for the canal associations heritage hike. That gives me a bike ride for activity tomorrow! Hopefully the weather is decent. I don't feel like riding if the weather is crappy...but I will. I guess I'll have to!

Third Times a charm

Yes, this would be my third entry for today. However, I have some "gem's" that I'd like to put down to remember.

I'll start first with my weigh in ..... 1.8 pounds down. Could have been more if I would have been SMART about the sodium yesterday. But oh well, a loss is a loss. That was a respectable loss.

Sherry told me about something she had heard recently. It was in conjunction with how people tend to throw in the towel when they've made one bad choice. For example, if they eat poorly for one meal, they throw in the towel and give up for the rest of the day...or the week or even the month. Well, the analogy that was used to show how crazy that concept is was, If you have a dozen eggs and you break one...do you throw out the other 11?

We were also talking tonight about how I'm happy that I'm losing the weight more slowly. I shared my frustration at how slowly I'm losing.....especially when I see other people seemingly just drop the pounds. I know in my heart that the way that I"m doing it is the healthy way....and the way that is really going to enable me to keep it off for life....but it just gets so frustrating sometimes! So I thought I'd come home and vent here a bit!

Cool thoughts I found

Things that really hit me as I read the 'elmination blog's' of the people that have already left the show this season....found these on ivillage.com

Live for the moment (present), Live for you, your family, friends, Live for whatever makes you happy. Once you start realizing what you are living for then it becomes easier to lose weight.
Who do you think will make it to the end of the show

What advice can you give other people who are hoping to lose extra pounds? It's possible! Stop thinking about it and start doing something about it. It's that simple. Muscle definition is as addictive as crack. Get over that first crappy hump of getting started and you'll be fine. The greatest thing I've realized through this experience is that it is so much more than just losing weight. If all of your energy is exerted and focused on the physical aspect, you ultimately fail. It was more than just eating poorly or too much that got you to this point. There are mental, emotional, and spiritual revelations that you need to consider in this transformation.

.) What do you think your biggest weight loss obstacles will be now that you're dieting on your own? At first, it was realizing that I changed but the world had not. Everyday it is a struggle to say no to the ding dongs and hamburgers, but the trade off is so much greater. My energy leave is so much higher. The way I see myself is so much better. I can walk into a room full of people, look them straight in the eye and now know the feeling of them looking back at me not because I am fat but they can see the things I have always wanted them to see. Me.

What advice can you give other people who are hoping to lose extra pounds? Just don't stop. Keep moving. And be proud of yourself. Losing weight is a journey not a one day adventure. One of the producers told us to respect the scale. Every time I step on to the scale, even if my weight loss is only 2 pounds. I respect it. I earned it.

I'm royally ticked off!!!!!!! Yesterday I was 185....today, I'm 188...and tonight is my weigh in. I KNOW what I did......too much salt yesterday. 100% my fault! I actually stayed within my points...and there is no way I gained 3 pounds in one day! But it will reflect on the scales tonight....I'm going to drink drink drink today......stopping at like 4 or so (I never drink in the 2-3 hours befor my weigh in) in hopes that it may start to counter act all the salt before my weigh in.

Today is a short day at work! Woo hooo! This morning Todd and I are going to take another load of stuff from the trailer up to the Rescue Mission. Part of me kicks myself...I could be making some bucks off the stuff that I"m sending up there. It's stuff I no longer want. However...that just seems really selfish. Finding this stuff at the Rescue Mission can make someone really happy...brighten the life of someone. PLUS, the money that they make off of these items really does go to a good cause!

Got a REALLY cool wedding gift idea yesterday from my boss/manager! I'm stoked...because we have a handful of friends that have weddings coming up!

Tomorrow Todd and I have off. I think we are planning on finishing off the garden. We have left the garden go.....still picking and eating off the garden as the weather remained nice. Of course on Sunday we heard about the frost warning so we went out and picked the last of everything. We still had hot peppers, lima beans and some tomatoes. It was amazing to see these really healthy looking plants with flower/buds on them at the end of October! So now we want to go out and pull the rest of the plants (we pulled a good many of them when we picked the other day), do our fall tilling, spread our compost, cover it with straw and call it quits for the winter. I also have to mow at the trailer.....HOPEFULLY for the last time this year! and hopefully for the last time EVER with a push mower! :-) So I'll be getting in a good workout I guess! Yeah, I admit...other than the time consumption, it's been good for me! At least on Wednesday I won't be sweating like a banshee when I mow (I hope!)

tomorrow will tell the tale

Weight wise, things are still going pretty good. I am still down...nothing has changed that yet. I'm holding my breathe as tomorrow is my 'official' weigh in day. I've been on track with my plan and it truely is amazing how my body responds when I'm doing what I should be doing.

Today was an early day at work (7:45AM, ok, that's early for me!) I am proud to say that I got up an hour early and did it. I got up and exercised....and today was a "hard" day. Basically meaning that today was a day that I pushed myself a little harder...yes, I knew that before I even went to bed......it's an every other day thing. :-)

Just feeling VERY melancholy and sad.

zippity do da

Yes, I'm singing. I am back at my lowest ever (yet) weight! woo hooo! That is exciting!

Got up early this morning and did my step aerobics. I rotate through my workouts. So eventually my body gets 'used' to the routine and I switch it up...or move to a different workout. So lately, I've been doing one particular workout. Well...this morning I decided to up my riser on my step and add that last riser. Eii yiii yiii. The same workout...and it felt different! That's a good feeling though.

I've got to go grocery shopping after work today...then Todd mentioned going out for dinner tonight. So I'm not sure what we will end up doing. He mentioned one or two places and I've been making mental plans of what I'll get at either of those places.

Been thinking...next year is the year for big things to happen in my friends lives. We've got two weddings (that we know of right now), Julie and Buddy's. And babies...eii yii yiii.....Julie (haa haa haa, I just reread that and it looks like the same Julie is getting married and having a baby...haa haa haa...but not...at least I dont' think Julie M. is planning on that next year), Karen, Ashley, Bree, it just continues. haa haa haa

Learning from past history

I'm going back and reading through all my blog entries. In some ways it's interesting and cool to see how far I've come. In other ways I'm amazed at how much I still struggle in some areas. In some cases, things that I seemingly conquered back a year or more ago with this weight loss struggle has reared its ugly head again. Well, that only goes to show me that I will need to be on gaurd for the rest of my life if I want to keep this weight off! That makes me think of something that I read online here the other day. They were talking about motivation and what motivates them. The whole premise was 'How badly do you want it?'. When it comes down to it you could be saying something like , I don't want to exercise.....and in response...."how badly do i want it? And if I'm asking myself, a piece of fruit or a bag of chips? The answer should always be "How badly do I want it" It goes both ways....How badly do I want that piece of fruit. But more importantly...How badly to I want to lose the weight. There will be sacrifices along this journey....but if I want it badly...and that outweighs the desire to eat or not exercise or whatever...then it should be a simple choice.

Had a super yummy lunch today. Yeah, that sound really trite and almost like I'm trying to talk myself into it. HOwever, when I finished my lunch, I literally said, "wow...that was really good". I had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, corn, and steamed brocolli. Yeah, it may not sound like a good combination to some...but it was delish (as Rachel Ray would say........and why in the world did I even think of that...since I'm not a big Rachel Ray fan...haa haa haa). Tonight for dinner we are having something called a meal...not sure what to call it....but it has ground turkey, pasta, sourcream, zuchinni, green peppers, salsa....it's also super yummy! (And Todd says that it reheats REALLY well..so the leftovers will be eaten by him for lunch a day or so after we have this meal). I'll probably serve it with Peas or green beans and I think our fruit will be grapes (gotta finish them off before they go soft on me). Yeah, green beans would be a better choice...but I'm hungry for peas. :-)

Ok....The last weigh in I went to I showed a gain of like 2 pounds. Then we were on our mini vacation...and I gained 5 pounds. That is so uncool. I had vowed that I would be ok as long as I stayed within 5 pounds of my lowest. Well, I freaked out....because I went over my self imposed 5 pounds. So...I've worked hard and all but .4 of that gain (BOTH gains) is gone. I'm point four pounds away from my lowest ever weight. I'm ecstatic with that! Tickled pink. Dancing a jig. Oh well, you get the point! That puts me at 56 weight watchers pounds gone....with a grand total of 116 pounds GONE. What a difference that makes in life! In how I feel, act,...all aspects of my life.

We had an interesting call last night. It was the c&o canal association. They are having a big hike nearby (on the c&o canal obviously). Last year at this hike apparently they had one hiker that was out and they had to send out the park police to go figure out why the person hadn't come off the towpath yet. So this year they were looking for a different alternative to try not have to utilze the park police. So they asked if Todd and I could do a sweep on our bikes of the area that everyone is to be hiking. It sounds like fun. I'm only hoping for good weather. It's a week from Tomorrow...on Nov. 3. It could conceivably be cold. And if today's weather is any indication...quite damp! That would be miserable. Todd and I agreed to do it regardless.....we can always go home, take a nice hot shower and feel better. :-) I'm looking foward to the ride. :-)

Good Day

Today was a good day. I had a really good workout this morning!!!!!! Worked out for an hour! I ate wisely all day....for dinner I made Szechuan Chicken and Rice. Yummy! (ok, those of you who know me are probably laughing thinking about me eating an Asian inspired dish..when I'm not a big 'Asian' food lover...but it really is a yummy recipe.....if you want..just ask and I'll share) I then rode the exercise bike for about 30 minutes tonight. The second small workout was not becuase I overate or anything. It's because I just wanted to.

Work went well...fast and relatively smooth. It was a short day for me...so that was nice. :-) I got to spend a good deal of time talking to Janet during the down time...which is always a plus for me. No deep conversations today...but fun non-the-less.

TOdd found a picture of me that he is going to print out. I'd wager a guess that it's me at probably close to my highest weight. NOt something I really WANT to remember but something that I NEED to remember! So, I need to print it out and put it with my other 'fat' pictures. (this one that I found is the biggest...by far!)

A day off

Mom and dad came to dinner tonight. We had a nice time together. I so enjoy spending time with my parents. Dad brought his laptop and worked a while. In the meantime, mom and I must have been getting tired, because we sat in the living room enjoying each others company...but occaisionally laughing like hyena's at the simplest thing. :-)

I had meatloaf, mashed potatoes, corn and sauerkraut (and baked beans for dad). Not exactly the healthiest options out there. BUt managed and eaten accordingly. I've got just enough leftovers of the veggies that I'll be able to have a little smorgasboard of veggies tomorrow. Just about 1/2 cup of everything. Oh yes, and for dessert...home canned pears. YUMMY! I did step aerobics this morning. Felt good.

Todd and I got some stuff done today. We took another load of stuff to the mission. We are really making a dent in getting this stuff out of the trailer. We went to the board of zoning and planning and talked to them about the options for our land. We got some REALLY good news. It has been rezoned.....the old zoning was very restrictive....whereas the new zoning is no restrictions! We also got a few things from Lowes....a new screen door, wood for a repair...and electric line to fix the dryer electrical line (dryer repair guy...you better not be trying to get Lowes out of replacing our dryer that is still under warranty!!!)

Oh well...I think I'm going to retire to the bedroom and read for a bit. Todd has to get up early to work....and I don't have to be at work until 2PM.....woo hooo....I can exercise in the morning (that is not sarcasm...I prefer to exercise in the morning)!!!

The Birthday Boy

This morning Todd and I woke up and as we laid in bed cuddling he asked me what time I had to be at work. I answered Noon. He then started to talk about his 'birthday morning' plans. I was a bit paniced.....I didn't want to eat out. However, he simply wanted to go to town...get some iced tea (Arizona in the can.....found at CVS), go to JoAnn Fabrics to get something for a studio project, and go to Big Lots. Cool. So that is what we did. I did add in one more stop to the morning activities. We swung by the rescue mission to drop off another car load of stuff from the trailer. Todd was very quiet after we emptied the car at the rescue mission. I know what he is going through....after all, each load that we take to donate is his mother and grandmothers lives packed into boxes...and being given away. I know how that feels.....I went through it after my grandmothers death...and here he is doing it for his grandmother and his mother after having lost them both within a years span. As hard as it was, I know that he is satisfied with what he's done...because not only will someone be able to be clothed or decorate their house or get gifts for someone that they can afford....but the money that they make is also going to a good cause. We came home and I had a super yummy salad....dang that salad dressing that I've been making (Grandma Near's Salad dressing) is soooo good! Todd has requested Taco's for dinner. So I pulled out a pack of ground turkey for that. What the birthday boy wants...the birthday boy gets I guess. :-)

My weight did come down a LITTLE today. But after eating chinese...oh yes and the birthday boys brownie with ice cream (fat free of course...Bryers, fat free double churned, now that stuff is GOOD) that we had when we got home, (It's gone...so I won't be tempted today) I'm not surprised.

I still can't find that pesky missing tea! Todd asked again if I'd found it. My last hope is that it somehow fell out of my purse and got pushed under the seat of the car (how, when the bag was INSIDE my purse....closed up...but I'll look).

I'm still full of long ago memories that our time away in Lancaster and at the Rennfest brought to the surface. Makes one Melancholy for times and people from the past. Wow...I just walked back to my computer and when it rains it pours memories. While I was away, I was up front talking to the girls that I work with. Somehow the subject came up on mice.....and I told them the story about how I had mice lunge at me and the time my friend was coming over...and there was a dead mouse stuck to the bottom of the sofa (unbeknownst to me...although I did have an inkling that there was a dead mouse SOMEWHERE). I told them how my friend thought it was my baking that smelled so badly. Oh my......

Hmmm...tis about 3PM...should I have my mid-afternoon snack of grapes now?

Learning as I go

I made an interesting discovery about myself tonight. We were eating out at our favorite Chinese restaurant....the portions are HUGE. AND of course my fav meal is not the healthiest option. Well, when I ordered I asked for a to-go box to be brought immediately. They didn't...so when the food was delievered I asked again..and he brought it right away. I put half of my food in the box and closed it up. Out of sight...maybe not out of mind...but away and I didn't eat it. Well, I admit that I was sitting there going...I could still eat it....and I said something to myself that really made sense. I said to myself, "Yes, this meal is heavenly...but there is no reason to overeat it....because if I wanted to, I could come back next week, or tomorrow, or heck in an hour and get the same thing" It really nailed me. Yes, when I was away this past weekend, I did eat some stuff that I normally wouldn't have....however I had made that decision because it was 'special' things that I don't or can't get often! Shoefly pie....I can only get the kind I like in Lancaster (I don't like the ones that the local bakery makes) So that was a healthy decision...but chinese at the local place...I can get that any old time. Does any of that make sense????





Found a reallly cool quote...it's actually from one of the contestants on the Biggest Loser from this season. It is in reference to questions that are asked her about if she ever got to eat 'good' food. " Well first let me say ALL the food is good. Once you detox your body of all the chips, soda, french fries, cup cakes, you will enjoy fish and chicken and vegtables. Give "good" food a chance. I promise it won't let you down."

The water is a huge thing. I ate healthy yesterday...which I do know contributed. However, I think the biggest factor was the water. I actually drank a healthy amount of water. AND...3 of the 5 pounds that I gained while we were gone is gone! Yes, three pounds.....in one day. So, that just proves that I was retaining some mad water weight.

Todd has been battling a sore shoulder/neck for the last few days. So I'm praying for him to be healed.

I haven't exercised today...however I plan on getting out on my bike after I get off work. I should be getting off work at about 3PM today.

This weight loss thing is still a topic of conversation that is very near and dear to my heart. I truely am blessed with an interest in this subject. I don't proclaim to be an expert....but I'm very interested in the subject.

Wow.....I was just busy for a bit...ok, like an hour (ok ok ok, I was talking with co-workers for part of that time) and in that hour, I've developed a sinus pressure/headache. Dang...that is NOT fun!

Nothing seems Equal

Woah doggie! It's sickening how fast weight comes on! ANd equally sickening to think about how long it takes to eradicate that same amount of weight. It is definitely NOT equal! AT all! I will say that my 4-5 pound gain (yikes, that hurts to actually write it out...but yes, the scales are showing me about 4.5 pounds up after our little trip!!!). But, admittedly, I allowed myself to dehydrate while we were travelling. I didn't even drink HALF....ok, even a fourth of what I normally drink! So I'm sure that a good portion of that gain is water retention! I enjoyed my time away...and the food I ate, the weight gain was very worth it for the pleasure received during the trip.

Meanwhile, I'm back and raring to get back to eating healthy! I spent some time in the kitchen today cleaning, cutting, slicing and dicing all my fruits and veggies that I bought. So I'm ready for the week. :-) Then I had a extra yummy salad. I've been making a fabulous dressing. It's reminicent of a french dressing...but is very similar to a vinagrette. Go figure. All I know is that this stuff is good enough to go and simply eat a spoonful of it...without the salad! :-)

I think I'm going crazy. We bought some really cool tea at the REnn Fest at one of the shops. I SAW the lady put them in the bag. I immediately tied the bag shut and put it into my backpack. I opened it up today and only one tea was there. Go figure? Poor Todd.

We were talking at the rennfest. Yesterday was only the second time that Todd and I have visited the Renn fest by ourselves out of the eight total times we have visited the rennfest since we've been a couple. It was enjoyable to be with my beloved though. :-) However, it did bring back lots of memories of these other visits and those friends. Bittersweet memories in some cases. Ahhh...water from the "caves of aquafina"...and Anne of Boelyn blatantly checking out the men. :-)

This morning I got myself up and out of bed and exercised. After that, we started talking and decided to go hiking in the woods. We went over to our property. We filled our water jugs, I loaded the old car with more of the stuff that we are donating to the rescue mission (will this cleaning out process EVER be over) and then we took off through the woods. We walked our property line first....and then mosied back through the other property (which we have permission to hike one by the owner). It was very rough going as the paths haven't been attended to in at least 10-15 years. We had our backpacks on and we picked up stones when we got to the river. I picked up small stones to use to build a fireplace in my dollhouse that I am redoing (the dollhouse that my grandfather built for me back in the 70's....the log cabin) and Todd picked up big smooth ones to build a sound diffuser for the studio...sounds interesting. We loaded our backpacks.....nice and heavy and started back up the hill and over the terrain. It was a pretty good workout!!!

Todd's Birthday Trip

Well, our trip is over. We did what we had planned to do. We went to Lancaster and we also went to the Maryland Rennassaince Festival. We had a great time! In Lancaster we were able to go to all the places that we love to visit. I did splurge and eat a piece of Shoefly Pie. It was soooooo heavenly! Utterly orgasmic it tasted so dang good. :-) It is truely amazing how good food tastes when you are not constantly shovelling it down your throat! Today we went to the Rennfest. It was great. The weather was wonderful! We usually like to go to the renn fest in cooler weather, and at first I was dissapointed that it was so warm...but it turned out to be very nice. Lots of walking..and it was so crowded that at some of the stages, it was standing room only....and we stood. :-)

Food wise, I would call our trip a bit of a binge. Not that I ate all that horribly...but I made more unhealthy choices. I got those 'bad' foods that I sometimes like out of my system. Yes, I had french fries for the first time in MONTHS...probably years! This weekend...a very small order of them! My shoefly pie....oh yes, and one day we stopped at Bob Evens for breakfast (it was on the way to where we were going) and I had the cinnamon cream pancakes....heavenly! But, healthy food is back! I enjoyed my 'binge' (if I can call it that)...but my body is really craving the healthy stuff. :-)

Two steps forward I take .......

I just want to start singing Paula Abdul....Two steps forward, I take two steps back....... Yes, that's how I feel. I had an incredible loss last week...and a 2 pound gain this week! I know that I'm directly responsible for some of it. However, I will say that the ick is right around the corner and that causes water retention..and thereby weight gain. But I'll be brutally honest and admit that I caused some of the weight gain this week! While i didn't eat too terribly, I didn't eat too well. AND my exercise just kinda went right down the toilet. ZILCH! I'd like to be able to say without a shadow of a doubt that I'm focused and ready to face this week and conquer this battle...but Todd and I have some time off of work and we are goign to be doign a bit of travelling. OUCH. That doesn't bode well for eating....or exercising! I wasn't able to get us a hotel with an indoor pool (and the outdoor pool isn't goign to help much now) but at least it does have a fitness center. I just need to be religious and use it!!!

Saw a quote that I liked the other day. "Weight loss is not a destination....it's a journey" How true!

What's up with my motivation and or body! This week I've struggled again! ArrgghH!

I'm trying to drink my water today. I dind't drink halfways near enough water yesterday and I know I was shy on Saturday also. That's not cool. I've done pretty good...but I can tell that I hadn't drank enough the last few days.....because I've been in the bathroom constantly! Oh well!

This morning my weight was showing me up some. But, with the water thing...and some other things that I've got moving in the right direction, I may be able to squeak out a maintain! Oh I hope I hope I hope!

LOSS

Lost 4.6 pounds last night at my weigh in (ok, technically I lost them throughout this past week...but offically weighed in last night). That means I recouped my 2 pound gain from last week...plus some! I'm pretty tickled with it! I am not allowing myself to relax though. Because once I let down my guard, I'll stop losing! I so need to get to goal...at least my weight watchers goal (the highest weight I can be and maintain to be lifetime....in order to stop paying). This morning, the scales showed me down even further..which is totally awesome.

It seemed like for so long I was just sitting dead in the water. Now it seems as if my body is actually willing to lose the weight (if I do my part...before I could do my part and the weight wasn't dropping). SO I'm planning on running with it!

Like I feared, the scales were up a bit today. Not in panic mode..but I did count my points religiously. I also got up and did a short workout this morning.....notice I said short. It was only 20 minutes. So, here I am tonight...riding the exercise bike. Although, I've discovered that riding the bike and playing on the computer at the same time really makes the time fly by! It's awesome. If I'm sitting watching tv then I'm very cognizant of the fact. Reading is a bit better...but I'm still cognizant of how much time is passing.....each page turn is a bit more time passing! I know roughly how many pages I need to read to 'pass the time". Sooooo to my delight...even though I have the computer clock, the time just flies by without me really being aware!

So, I'm really workking on it today...I'm deterined to get this weight off!

Todd mentioned starting a family sometime soon. I want to get this weight off first though!!!!!!!

Tired by happy

I'm way too tired to write right now. Yesterday was a LONG day...started at 6AM...ended at 2AM this morning.....

BUT, as for today my weight is my all time low 185.8. I splurged a little today...so I"m hoping that my weight stays the same!

The addiction thing is so true. On monday night, Todd and I went out to eat dinner. We were at a buffet/salad bar. I am usually able to stay away from the dessert bar, or at least manage it with healthy choices. Well, after my week I was just plain and simple disgusted. My weight jumped up...and wouldn't go back down...no matter what I did! So Monday night rolls around and my mentality was that, "heck, if the scales are gonna show an increase, I may as well at least eat something that I'll enjoy at lesat once!" So I hit the dessert bar. I got a small piece of cake! IT was scrumptious! Absolutely delicious! I sat at the table and pondered...and pondered! It was so dang good that I had to head back for me! I got a total of two more pieces. Oh yes, and the pudding, and the icecream! On the way home, todd and I talked about it and I realized that yes, That was totally a sign of addiction. I ate that first piece of cake and it was soooooo good. I finished the cake and that feeling of satisfaction wasn't there any longer. I wanted to feel that again...so I got another piece of cake. And another. BUT, what I realized.....that 'high' only came wiht the first few bites of the cake. I really didn't totally enjoy the second and third pieces of the cake! It was only that initial high that tasted good....yet I strived to get that feeling again and again and again! If that's not an addiction, then what is?

Today I had mom check my blood sugar levels and my blood pressure. Things are all in line! I'm relieved about that!

I was up a bit at my weigh in...but it's all good! We learn from the rough times. Chalk up another lesson learned for me! :-)

Addiction

You know...food is really an addiction. Todd and I were leaving the gym and making our usual comment about how it seems like all of the Gold's Gyms that we go have a McDonald's right near it (next door this morning). Todd was like, "Do you want to go get a breakfast sandwhich" . He was totally joking! I answered of course with a negative. BUt then I commented about how it would taste good....but then I'd feel miserable after eating that junk. I'm totally addicted to the taste of food. We actually talked about how the addiction is the taste.....the high, while the feelings that you get after you eat poorly would be the crash...the let down....the withdrawl. Hmmmm...that really didn't clearly state what we talked about..but heck, at least the general idea is there.

I've been struggling the last few days. I've eaten my flex points...which for me, just doesn't seem to work! ARRGGHHH Why am I 'blessed' with a body that doesn't allow me to eat my flex points if I want to lose?????

Got a nice long bike ride in this morning! It felt really good! That on top of the gym yesterday!

Of course, the scales were up! I think a big part of that is the hot dogs we had last night. I had fat free ones for myself...however sodium city. And I did drink my 64 ounces yesterday...but it was done by the time I got home. I was way too relaxed in the evening. We were laying in bed watching the tv and I was dying of thirst! I finally got up and got a drink and downed 16 ounces in like two minutes. And you know that they say that if you get to the point where you are actually thirsty, it's too late, you are dehyrdated! So I think that's a huge factor in that!

We'll see how it goes tomorrow!

Special Investigative Report on CNN

I've been on top of everything the last few days. It's really neat to see how much better I feel. I've decided to go to a meeting tonight rather than tomorrow. I do know that the scales will probably show me up for a few various reasons. But I'm ok with that. Especially since I know that those reasons will right themselves and all will be ok.

This weekend we stumbled upon a show on CNN...a special investigation report by Sanjay Gupta. It was called Fed Up: America's Killer diet. VERY good show. Some of the points, facts and statistics were quite interesting of note.... (I will put my thoughts and additions in italics.)

1. There are a few doctors/scientists out there that feel that depression can be linked to the foods we eat. Namely the fats that we are eating. They are saying that we need the different kinds of fats in our diet...but in a healthy proportion. In the last so many years (20 or so) the numbers are no longer porportionate...one type of fat has just skyrocketed. The doctors/scientists are saying that this imbalance could be causing the upsurgance of depression. Now, my thoughts on the depression thing. I think that that could seriously be a huge factor. But I also think that the eating habits of America is so out of whack that peoples bodies are screaming. They are not getting enough nutrients, which I think is causing some of these problems. I know that Todd used to hardly ever eat veggies and fruits. He was depressed a good bit of the time. I started not really forcing him to eat fruits and veggies but having them for dinner and simply serving them to him...leaving it up to him if he was goign to eat them. The first thing...it seemed to help eliminate some of the 'down' days. AND two, if I don't have them with a meal he asks where they are, because he misses them.

2. Speaking of fruits and veggies. We all know that the daily recommended amount of fruits and veggies for a person a day is 5 servings. Sadly enough, if every American were to eat their recommended allotment, we wouldn't have enough fruits and veggies in America to meet the demand! Doesn't this just make you want to scream. What is even worse than the fact that we dont' have enough.....in current America we are throwing unused fruits and veggies away at an alarming rate! I'd love to know a statistic on how many Americans are actually eating a healthy amount of fruits and veggies!
Along with this, they also talked about how corn and soybeans are the biggest agriculture item out there, with millions in govement funding going to these farms. Yet this year was the first that they are expanding funding and subsidies to go to farmers of other things such as apples, and other veggies. Yet, the funding is still totally disproportionate! Why are corn and soybeans such a big deal......the oils that they can get from them!

3. They did a study. They told people that they would give them free wings to eat if they filled out a survey. They had two groups at two different tables/areas. One group had the wait staff taking away the bones from the wings as soon as they participants were done. The other group simply piled the picked bones in front of them...and the wait staff didn't remove them. The study was to see if a person ate more if they could actually see the results of how much they ate...versus the person that ate and had the results/bones removed so that they couldn't see how much they had eaten, they only had to rely on their memory and their stomachs. After it was over they counted the bones and weighed them. They found that the people that had the bones removed so that they could not SEE how much they had already eaten ate up to 50% more than the people that had their bones in front of them as a physical reminder of what they had already eaten. They also referred to a test with popcorn at the movies.....testing portion sizes.....and the kicker of that one...the people ate the popcorn like mad......and it was STALE! This doesn't really surprise me....but it was neat to see the results of actual studies.

4. The average kid is eating up to three pounds of sugar a week! Three pounds!

5. They had a near perfect study case of what America's diet is doing to people. They had a kid that grew up in Jamaica. He was thin, fit and a healthy boy when he moved to America with his family. Within 6 months of living in America, he had put on 30 pounds. A trip to the doctors office showed that he had developed high cholesterol, high blood pressure and was borderline type II diabetes. He was roughly 10 or 11 years old. His mother did what needed to be done. She learned about healthy nutrition and how to eat properly and immediately changed the eating habits for her family. The boy has lost 15 pounds and his numbers and health has dropped back out of the danger zone. They asked what was the difference, whey this happened. The kid and his mother talked about how there are so many tempting choices, tempting in taste and packaging. And the tempting choices were so 'easy'. They were the convenience foods. The sweets and everything else. They fell into the average American diet quickly and easily! And the results were swift and fast. 6 months??? And this kids life was turned around and could have been disastrous if left to go. Wow amazing because that is what we are doing to our children day in and day out. Let alone what we are doing to the adults and teens and elderly! 

6. They had a cook on...who also happened to be the editor (or some such title) with Cooks Illustrated Magazine (mom's fav!). He talked about how Americans have forgotten what it is to actually cook from scratch. In in forgetting about cooking from scratch, our taste buds have gone catawumpus and we have learned to prefer the taste of prepackaged, unnatural foods. He stated that the foods solely from scratch have a more subtle taste...which is not what the average person prefers now. How sad is that? I'm proud to announce that Todd and i actually prefer the meals from scratch! But it is correct, the taste is phenomenally different. 

7. Twinkies. They used twinkies as an example. They talked about how years and years ago, twinkies were made with the good old stand by ingredients, eggs, flour, sugar, milk. Then they read the ingredients of the current twinkie. Very few things that were recognizable. Some items were changed for cost (high fructose corn syrup) but many were changed for preservative factors! I admit to being guilty of still buying some prepackaged items. I know it and I'm slowly trying to change my lifestyle to eradicate them from my life. But this is something that I've lived with for a while. I started noticing that the homemade things last for only days..while the prepackaged (full of preservatives) foods last for weeks! Bread! If you make your own, it lasts only 2-3 days before it starts tasting stale yet I can buy bread in the store and it will last a week or two at my house (and who knows when it was actually baked even before I got it!) Jellies. Homemade jelly goes bad in the fridge within a month or so. Yet good old smuckers (and don't get me wrong...I grew up on smuckers and LOVED it) will last for at least 6 months before there is any problem! I can go on and on. This is my own personal soapbox!

8. Changing the contents of food and selling healthier options. Sounds great! They have reported that the public clamors for it....yet refuses to buy it when the companies do it. I do probably have to agree. However I do know that these 100 cal packs and such items are seemingly flying off the shelves. Could there be a turn, a shift in America's thinking????

So.....all this was quite interesting. We tivo'd it and I may watch it again...the information was just phenomenal! Once again, while I was watching, I felt it again. I have had a calling. I've felt it a few times here and there. Last night was another strong tugging. I really do feel as if my next calling in life is to somehow help others with their obesity problems...or nutrition problems if I want to be nice about how I put it. I know I've been saying things like, "Oh I want to get to my goal weight before I do something" and things like that. However, I need to be looking into options NOW!

Food for thought

Nope..I haven't given up! Even though I didn't write yesterday! Still simply frustrated with myself. I'll be the first to admit that I will eat something that I really don't want...and then I want to slap myself on the forehead saying "What in the world was I thinking???" It brings to the forefront....why do i eat stuff that I don't particularly like or want? I should be able to take a bite of something and say...'hmm...not good, its not worth it." But instead, I'll take a bite of something and say instead....'hmmm not the greatest...not good...but I'm going to shovel it all in anyway'. Why is that? I enjoy food....I enjoy GOOD food. So why do I eat something that is substandard?

Frustrated!

I'm frustrated today. The scales actually showed me up even higher than yesterday! What the heck???? I mean, I ate good yesterday! And that's what I get? The only thing I can think of....I finished my water early..and for some reason stopped drinking instead of continuing through out the evening. I know part of it was that I sat down to dinner and realized that I forgot to get a glass of water. I was just plain too darn lazy to get up and get it! Then the same thing at the computer later. I just didn't feel like getting up to go get it! So that probably hurt me!

I did however exercise for 40 minutes yesterday. I went with the step aerobics. Today I did about 45-50 minutes. Kicked my butt today. I really pushed it hard!

I've changed my mind three times on what I'm going to have for lunch. This is terrible! I've whited out my lunch plans three times now in my journal! I've got to make up my mind!!!!!!! Ok...I think I settled on what I'm going to have!!!!!

Cookies??????

Made cookies last night. For me, it's not really the finished cookie that is the tempting thing. For me, it's the cookie dough! Yeah, I know! Why in the world did I make cookies then? I made them because we haven't heard from Todd's uncle since shortly after his grandmothers death. We have a few things that we've found that is his and went to send them to him. Walnut/Icebox cookies are his favorite....so I thought I would make a batch to send along as a goodwill gesture. I had way too much cookie dough last night! :-)

I did have one cookie this morning with my breakfast (just to make sure they tasted ok). I'm done with them now! (It's actually easier to say that...because I'm not a big fan of walnuts!)

Weight is still up! TOM finally arrived so hopefully the weight will right itself this time! Crazy...I don't usually suffer from PMS, but this month was a killer!

I've got my eating plan laid out for today. It should be a pretty easy one to stick with! Hopefully the munchie stage is totally past! :-) Planning on doing step aerobics today. That's always fun. Of course it's nice outside...maybe I should go for a jog on the battlefield instead. Hmmmmm....decisions decisions decisions.

Success

Ok, maybe not a scaled success...but a success nonetheless. I ate lunch today. It was quite yummy, I had a salad and some applesauce. When I was done I was in the kitchen putting my dishes in the dishwasher and getting my grapes (midafternoon snack) ready to go to work. I was trying to decide in my head which 100 cal pack that I was going to eat. I hadn't planned on eating a 100 cal pack, however I WANTED one! I was sure I was still hungry! I don't know what caused me to do it, but I stepped back from the situation and really thought about how I felt at that moment and I decided that I wasn't really hungry. I decided that if I wanted one later, then that would be ok...but at that time, I didn't really need one! HUGE victory!

Now I'm at work......cramps have hit! MISERABLE! I rarely get cramps so I'm not happy! (like I'd be any happier if I get them regularly either!) HOpefully that isn't one of the things that is changing in my body. I usually only get cramps every couple months....luckily not every month. BUT, in the last few months, my cycle has been all whacked out and changing. ( A few months ago my cycle shortened....it's clockwork still...but just 4 days shorter! SHORTER...why couldn't it have gone longer...further apart!)

I was a bad bad girl

Wow...don't know what happened yesterday. I was super hungry...just couldn't seem to get enough food! I overate...thankfully, I overate eating healthy stuff. I didn't indulge in any unhealthy items at least. The moment of truth this morning.....the scales only showed me up .2 pounds from yesterday. That's not too bad. Bad enough, considering they are already up. HOwever....I know why thy are up (water retention...TOM) so I'm not to concerned.

I've already laid out my plans for eating today. I'm going to go with a really low day, point wise, for eating. Not starvation low...but just low. I've been eating on the high end and I feel like I need to do this to get myself back on track. When I say I've been eating on the high end....I've been eating my flex points....and I simply don't lose if I eat my flex! That's the unfortunate break of my body type and chemistry. boo hooo!

Why do we continue to eat something even though we really don't like it? What is wrong with my brain that I keep shovelling the food in, even though I'm not overly impressed! Huge food for thought! Because it seems as if I could conquer that, I'd be halfway to totally conquering this weight battle!