Wither Away

 

I would love to say that this past week was a rousing success.  I would love to say that I lost an amazing amount of weight.   I would love to say that my health efforts had been spot on.  I would be absolutely over the moon to be able to say that the elephant in the room, my mobility had improved.   I would love to tell you all that.   But I can’t.

I started this past week super focused and dedicated.  A coworker and I had been talking and she is big into fasting.  She has decided that she needed to lose weight by Thanksgiving, 10 pounds was her goal in 20 days.  And she was going to do it by fasting.   She and I had had this conversation before and I had been impressed with her losses from fasting a day or so here and there.  I had previously looked into fasting as a regular tool in my healthy living lifestyle.  I even read books on fasting.    And lastly, I tried fasting at that time. And it was a colossal failure then (you can read about that here.)   So why in the world would I decide to try fasting again.  Yes, I for some reason decided that I was going to fast again.  I was going to join my coworker on this thrust to lose mad pounds by Thanksgiving by fasting.  I wasn’t going to do the 2-3 day fasts that my coworker was doing, but I was going to follow the OMAD fasting schedule, one meal a day.  What could go wrong?    (I’m telling you; I had completely blanked out the previous experience.  There is no other explanation.)   EVERYTHING went wrong.   I got hungry during my fast and when that eating window opened, I descended upon food like there was no tomorrow.  I have always said “I can do a lot of damage in one hour of eating”.  Once again, I proved it.  My weight is UP on the scale after a few days of fasting.   NO MORE FASTING FOR ME!

So I had a failure with eating, surely exercise went better!   Except, that didn’t go any better either.   I started Monday so strong.  On my word was I on top of things.  I exercised at 5AM.    I even did a short 20-minute exercise video after work!    Twice in one day!  I was on top of it.  Nothing was going to stop me!   Tuesday, I started out right with another 5 AM exercise and then it went to hell in a hand basket! 

 It was about 7:30 and I was outside with the dog.  In the mornings I pick up her toys and straighten up things that were left out the previous day.  (I swear Jason has some type of attention deficit disorder, he will be in the middle of something and just walk away and let it lay when he moves on to a different project). We were also forecasted to get our first deep freeze.   Because of that, I wanted to get a few summer things put away, namely our hoses. So while the dog was on her lead (after the dog ran away at 5AM, I have not been brave enough to let her loose while I am home by myself and if truth be known, I haven’t let her outside without a leash while Jason is in the shower either!)

   So Zoey was rambling around on her lead while I flitted around the yard doing this and doing that.   I saw something across the yard that needed my attention so I stepped over Zoey’s lead.  I was very cognizant of doing it.  But she was just serenely watching the sky, so I knew that I had time to take that step over without any concern.   Except, that dog can go from zero to 60 in no time at all!  She saw something. (There was probably an airplane flying high over us leaving its jet trail.  You see, for some reason that infuriates this dog.)  Off she took running, while I was straddling her lead.  Next thing I knew, I was kissing the ground. I must have twisted when I dropped because my left knee was bruised and sore but it was my right upper side that took the brunt of the fall.  From my shoulder blade, up through my shoulder and down my arm it hurt.    It was bad enough that the first two nights after this happened, I struggled with sleep because of the pain.  It has diminished and I am starting to feel better.  BUT you know what that did to exercise!  From that point on, exercise didn’t happen.

So it was a week of failure in terms of my weight loss and healthy living efforts.    On Friday I spent the day with my oldest nephew at the Gettysburg Battlefield’s museum, film and cyclorama.  (Yes, we took pretty much the full day to do those things.) As we went through the museum we were talking, of course.  And of course we touched on my parents.   We touched on my mom in particular, and how much we miss her.  (She had a knack in later years for saying the rudest things to me, but she still loved me to no end and I loved her and I can see where her comments to me where frustration and unhappiness in her, especially after dad died.)   We talked about how when my nephew left to go to London for grad school that he resigned himself to the fact that his grandmother would likely pass away while he was gone.   And when he came back to the states how he was so shocked at her decline. (Those of us that were able to visit frequently didn’t see it as much because it was just a steady decline…but looking back it was a pretty big descent.)   We talked about that decline that was so visible to him after almost a year away. We talked a bit about the decline and if there could have been anything that could have been done to slow down that descent.  (We agreed that better physical therapy in the first home may have changed the outcome.  MAY.   But the PT at that home wasted so much time on inefficient therapy.   Seriously, for most of her time there, PT had mom lay in bed and do leg lifts and arm raises.    They didn’t have the manpower to actually get her out of bed to start walking….and didn’t dedicate that manpower until literally 2-3 weeks before her medicare paid time was up….when they realized that if they wanted to have a ‘success’ that they needed to get her walking.  So yes, I think she may have gone further if PT would have been more efficient at that first place she was at. IN fairness though, mom was in a reduced state of physical mobility before her stroke!     But The specialists at the hospital in Pittsburg where she was airlifted had seemed to think that she would make a full recovery….so who knows.  But I digress.   My nephew and I were talking about the decline and in my head, I realized that I am letting my health and fitness levels decline.  I recognize it.  I see it.  I know it’s not too late to change.  But, if I would have a stroke right now, I am already in a reduced situation in terms of my mobility.  I would be starting at a deficit, much like mom had.  Would I have the strength to overcome, or would I just slowly decline and wither away into …….

This just Sucks!

 This really sucks!   It sucks bad and I don't like it!  Yet I have no control over it!

What sucks?   Watching your parents get old and start to suffer major issues with their health.   It was only 5 years ago that I lost my father.  It was difficult to watch him go downhill and pass away.  I thought it was the hardest thing I would ever have to face.   I was wrong.   Losing my dad was horrible.  But my father was cognizant and clear minded the whole way to the end.   

In July my mom had a stroke.  It left her quite immobilized and not in good shape.  It also brought to the forefront the true issue and that is that my mom had been failing for a while.  We saw signs and we were worried but they were always easily explained away.  The stroke laid bare this fact.   Mom is struggling cognitively as well as physically and it is utterly heartbreaking!   

It is also very stressful.   Last week there were some days and visits that were absolutely horrible for me.  I'm talking cry the whole 40-minute drive home horrible.  I came home one day and I had pulled myself together...somewhat.   I also ate.   I never binged.  But I just ate more food and the wrong types of food.  I didn't make good healthy choices.  

What in the world is wrong with me?  I'm watching my mother fail and I know that my weight is going to put me in a similar or worse situation.  I know that losing this weight is so important.  But same days the stress and the worry and the heartache overwhelms me, and I forget my own personal goals.

So, with a heavy heart, I will announce that I gained a pound last week.  I"m super frustrated about that.  

I'm not giving up.  This journey is so hard but so important!  I am worth it!   So here we go again with another week of trying my best!

In the midst of the stressful week, I took a 'mental health day' from work.  Jason is still off work so we took the dog into the mountains and explored!  It was good to be outside and clear my mind!!!  Zoey loved it too!!!

A Year for the Record Books

​I’m telling you, this year is the year that is just not letting up!  It’s been one thing after the other!  Some good others bad!  It’s been nuts!

The first part of the year was swallowed up whole as we hunted for and bought a house. 

We settled on our house and then commenced the never ending move that stretched almost two complete months. We finished the move, drove back to the apartment (an hour and fifteen minutes away from our house) grabbed the last and turned in our key…and smiled because life would slow down then!  And quite literally my mom had a stroke the next day.    The madness of life continued as I tried to continue taking care of the house, the yard, put in my  time at work and make trips to see mom.  (I’m about 35 minutes away so any visit starts with an hour of travel time.  

Summer flew by like crazy as I ran around like a chicken with my head cut off.   I literally fell into the habit of cleaning the house at 6am…why?  Because that is when I could carve out a few minutes to do it.  I can clean the toilets and the bathroom sinks on my 15 minute breaks from work….which is what I do. I prep foods for dinner during my lunch break so that I can clear up an evening to go see mom after work.   I literally run around trying to make the most of every minute.  (Jason works a 9-1 hour day and has a 1 hour commute each way…..so his time is just as limited.).  I kept my head above the water…even though it felt like it was just barely.  

My weight maintained but only because I remained so busy.

I started Weight Watchers at the beginning of September and and had some success as I lost almost 10 pounds in that first month.  I was tickled too because I was super stressed due to some fear about the longevity of my job.  The end of August and most of September also marked a nice vicious case of poison.  All over my arms, legs and torso.  I pushed through with over the counter medication, but did not have a fun 3-4 weeks.  Things started to turn at the end of September.  The poison cleared up for the last week of the month.  Even better, at the very end of September I found out that my job was secure.  The timing for both of those things was perfect as  we had the first week off for vacation and to celebrate our anniversary. 

Our vacation was a staycation.  We decided to do a few little things local but to stay at home and work on the shed.   The shed on our property needed some love.  The leanto portion on the back was ready to cave in.  So we spent the week clearing the brush around the shed,  tearing that down (the leanto is 20x10), burning everything in the fire pit (one piece at a time) and starting the rebuild process.   I actually managed to maintain my weight over our vacation week. That is all thanks to being so active because I was ravenous the whole time!   

 On the third day of our vacation, I woke up and felt some itchiness…yes, I had managed to attract poison AGAIN.  (This was actually before we cleared the brush…so go figure).   The poison kept getting worse.  So bad that I ended up in the Urgent Care on the first day back to work after vacation.  They gave me steroids and sent me on my way.   

Steroids…well you know what that did to my weight!   Seeing it pop up did something to my mental capacity and will power and I began to struggle with tracking my food.    Oh, and the worst part of it?  The steroids did NOTHING for the poison and rashes!  Oh my word, the poison was so horrible!  What I thought was a bad case in September was nothing compared to this!  My complete torso was covered…my legs..arms, neck and even patches on my face.  My torso and thighs were the worst and I maintained this fire engine red color for weeks.  It wasn’t just itchy…it was painful.  Horrible!   Finally about the third to fourth week of October the bright red and terrible pain and itch had passed leavening me with dry scales skin.   I am still dealing with that and with bouts of itchiness.   What a month!

At the end of October they started to talk about sending mom home from Rehab.  She is super excited.  My brother and I not as much.  She is NOT ready to live on her own and we know it.  Ratchet up the stress another notch.

And then on October 27th, I went to visit mom after work.  I drove home and got home after dark.   I pulled in and saw Jason at the chopping block splitting down some firewood.  All was completely normal as I got out of the car.  I turned to head into the house and Jason had already gone inside.  I walked into the kitchen and noticed Jason bent over, but I was rushing to get dinner on the stove and in the oven since it was so late.  I greeted Jason and his words weee ‘I just cut myself’.  I asked if it was bad, still not shifting my focus from the stove and my dinner plans.    ‘Yes, really bad, I need to go to an urgent care’. I turned, shocked because he avoids doctors at all costs! That is when actually took stock of my kitchen…aka the crime scene.  Yeah, the axe slipped…went through his shoe…through his sock and right into his foot.  I grabbed a clean towel for him (he was using his sock to try to staunch the blood) and we headed out to urgent care.   Just as a side note…if you arrive with a foot wrapped in a blood soaked towel, they hustle you right back to a room.  The doctor wakes in soon thereafter and took one look at his foot and said ‘yeah, you most likely severed a tendon’ and sent us to the ER.  (They wrapped the foot …so that he was not leaking blood everywhere…which was nice of them, but slowed down our care in the ER as he was at that point not a bleeding priority).   X-rays and a phone consult with a podiatrist as they were also not sure of the status of his tendons.  We got home super late and I scrubbed the kitchen floor at 2AM and then went to bed.  I was up at 4:30 and out the door early for some other things concerning mom’s discharge…but made it back home in time to take Jason to his appointment with the specialist.  The specialist ordered an MRI because the tendon damage possibility could still not be determined.  Well on Monday we had the MRI and got the results.  He severed one tendon and nicked a second tendon.  Surgery or no surgery.  It’s possible they will heal on their own.  But possible that he needs surgery.  It’s up in the air and I believe we are going to try the least invasive, no surgery option.   At the worst, he will need surgery eventually.  At the best…it heals on its own.    So he is supposed to be no. Weight bearing for the next couple weeks…then a restrictive boot for a few more weeks.     Yes, I’m stressed to the max!

Ohhh and he can’t work…his employer is a small business with only a handful of employees…there is no short term disability.  We are now (and for the unforseeable future) a one paycheck family.    I’m trying to remain calm.  But it’s difficult.

So life is crazy.  So very crazy.  My eating has been steady…but not great.    My emotions are in an uproar as I feel like I am failing at everything I do.  Trying to do it all and falling short at everything.   Last night I sat on the couch trying to occupy my mind and I had a thought.  It was a thought that I had held onto tightly during the end of my marriage.   And that thought and mantra was ‘I can not control much of what is happening in my life and surroundings.  But I CAN control what food I put into my mouth’.  (For the most part…at 1AM leaving the ER having not eating in 14 hours…there wasn’t many options for where to pick up dinner…but I still had control over what I ordered.).    

  So if my food is the only thing I can control….control it!!!    This, this morning I pulled out my WW app and I have entered my food into the tracker.  I’m going to revel in the control I can have!!!

Colossal Failure

I have seriously contemplated writing on more than on occasion.  Honestly, I think about it quite often, but then I stop because what am I going to say? My last post was so positive and ended up being a colossal failure.   I'm nowhere closer to being at my goal weight.  I'm just floundering.

So, let me start with the colossal failure.  In my last post I wrote about a diet bet.  I started so strong.  That week one I was on fire. I was making good choices with my food.  I was tracking every bite.  I was doing zumba and riding the exercise bike.  I actually lost weight that first week.  And then I fell apart.  I totally just lost every ounce of motivation and drive...and the rest of the month I floundered.  Luckily, I remain in the same 3-5 pound range (right where I started) but that is not where I want to be.  I feel yucky.  I look like a stay puff marshmallow and I am not happy where I am at.   I want to be thin.  I want it bad.   But the month long dietbet ended and I didn't even send in my final weigh in.  Ohh I thought about moving the scale on the floor to a more sloped location to finagle a weigh in that would earn me back my money....but that is cheating.  There is no honor in that, so I just didn't weigh in at all.  Colossal Failure!

But apparently, I haven't wanted it bad enough to do the work to attain it.    Why???  

I have wondered recently if I don't find myself worth the effort.  I mean, I have had some negativity in my life that I struggle with.....and I am trying to work through that issue.   I also have the baggage from my previous marriage.  I totally happy and content where I am, but I KNOW that I still carry some baggage from my years with my ex.  I spent too much time during those years trying to make him love me and I was never good enough.......lessons that I learned that went deep into my psyche.    I know that me even saying it silly.  I am totally worth every second of energy that it takes to make myself a healthy me....but sometime still holds me back.   

My mom continues to progress slowly in her rehabilitation after her stroke.  It is a slow process and one that requires quite a bit of encouragement for her as she wants it NOW.   I have remind her that it is a process....and one that takes time.  She frequently cries and laments and apologizes for where she is and that she even had the stroke.  I come back with saying that I accept her apology ...but there is no need.  The past is the past and we can't change it and honestly we don't exactly what caused her stroke....so was it a freak of nature or something that she caused....who knows, so there is no need to apologize.  BUT the future is what is in her hands.  I tell her to "work your tail end off to make sure that you don't need to apologize for what is going to happen in the future....for the stuff that she CAN control"

Good advice???

I think so.  But wow if that advice doesn't come barreling back to hit me smack in the forehead.  You see, I want to lose weight and I want it gone NOW.  I get frustrated at the slow progress.    I show no grace and mercy to myself for my past mistakes.  And the biggest thing that hits me?   I AM IN CONTROL OF WHAT THE FUTURE LOOKS LIKE.   The past is the past.....I can't change that I regained weight.  It is done....over.  I can face the truth.  I can apologize to myself and anyone else that it affects.  But that is in the past.  I need to focus on the future... hold the keys.  

When it rains….

​Why does it seem as when it rains it pours.   That is how July felt for me.  Just when you think it gets better it pours.

A few posts ago I shared how I was on track.  I was eating more consciously and even doing Zumba.  I was hot on the trail of health.  I was going to be unstoppable!  We were finally 100% moved and done with the apartment.  Life was going to get easier right?  

That’s not how it happened!  I was silent for a few weeks until  last post when  I shared the first week or so of July and how my mom had a stroke at the beginning of July.  I ended up that post by saying she was at a hospital inpatient rehab facility close to home…..life was going to get easier right?

I have been silent for a few weeks…and life didn’t get easier.   Mom was in the stroke unit for not even a full week before she tested positive for covid.  So off to the hospital isolation unit we went. 10 days of isolation and only sporadic physical therapy.  Her stay in the isolation unit ended earlier this week and we have finally gotten her moved to a nursing facility and she has recommenced with regular physical therapy.  The inpatient rehab unit was no longer a viable option even though she would have received longer and more intensive therapy.  But regardless we are back on the path to recovery now!   

With everything happening I was feeling quite discombobulated and off kilter.  I could feel the tendrils of depression uncurling around me.  I was struggling.  Really bad.   

In the midst of all of that going on, my work set up meetings with everyone on my team.  The meeting was to tell us that the main product we support will not be supported after the end of September.  Of course I asked about job security. And the answer was less than comforting.  ‘We hope to have positions for you…but you know with the economy we just don’t know’.  One director actually made a comment in the meeting I attended saying something to the affect of ‘look for other jobs and take care of yourself’ when someone asked if we should be seriously planning to not have a job.  Really?    I just bought a house!!  I just emptied my savings to buy that house and get it set up.  

Talk about depression going into effect full force?   I was a mess for a few days.   Intrinsically I know that there is nothing I can do about the situation. It is what it is.  But it really threw me for a loop for a few days. After a few days I started to regain my footing emotionally thank heavens.  In the meantime,  I have kept my eyes open for jobs.  I also know that my manager has since told me that he is like 99% sure that my job is safe simply due to my work ethics, attendance, quality, etc.  but in the same breath he talked about his uncertainty about his job.   But of course I also know that his guesses aren’t set in stone.   

So, while we were ready to get a riding lawn mower the weekend after the meeting, we put that on hold. Spending that money would not wise at the moment….at least I don’t think so. So we are still push mowing…but hey that’s 3-4 hours of exercise right?

See, when it rains it pours.  You think it’s bad and it just gets worse.

So what is in the future?  Lots of visits to mom.   Work as usual and not slacking.  (Some coworkers totally slacked after the news…which just doesn’t seem smart when you know they are looking at you in terms of who to keep and who to get rid of….although I personally think the decision was made long ago!). And moving on with life. 

My weight has been on the back burner and I have to say that I have eaten horribly in the month of July.  Too much food in terms of quantity and definitely the wrong types of food for sure.  Seriously…fried foods has not been a common food group for me for years.  Sure I indulge every once in a while.  But July was near constant!

That is changing.  I have been toying with DietBet or stepbet for quite some time.  I have decided to join a DietBet.  It starts on Monday August 1 and goes for one month.  It’s only $35 but I’m cheap…I want to keep my $35 (and if I’m lucky win some too!). I have to lose  4% of my body weight to win.  If I lose my 4% I am guaranteed  my money back (plus my share of whatever is left in the pit by people that don’t lose).    If you want to join that one you can me at this link. 

I had decided to join that DietBet and my coworker decided to do a HealthyWage.  That one is $25 a month for three months.  This one requires 6% loss in 3 months…and starts august 8.    She just opened it yesterday evening.  So I think I may be the only one in it right now…but feel free to join us if you want.  It’s ‘anchors a weigh’

So I’m kinda excited about my challenges…motivation…accountability.  I’m ready to dive in and get this weight off and get back to living and being healthy!!!

   And just because…a silly picture of me when we ran into an antique store while waiting for an appointment last weekend.

The proverbial Rug

​I was so in line and going in the right direction…and then that rug was pulled right out from under me!   Yes…the rug was pulled out from under me and it totally messed with every positive thing I had implemented in my routine.

In my last post I was so positive.  I was tracking my food and watching what I ate.  I was working in the yard and doing Zumba.  I was hot on the trail of healthy living.   Things were going to ease up with time constraints and everything was fabulous!

Our apartment lease was up on July 2 and we made the last trip down…did everything we needed to do and said goodbye to that place!   I was so excited.  No more trips to Frederick to finish up moving/cleaning.  That would free up a weekend day!  I even made the comment  out loud,  ‘things will settle down now and we will have time to breathe’.   

Famous last words.

The very next day I received the type of  text and phone call that you never want to receive.  My mom was being taken to the hospital by ambulance.   I met her and my brother at the ER…and then they decided to take her by helicopter to a hospital 3 hours away, I followed as quickly as I could.

I had eaten nothing that day until I got to the hotel at 10…which is past my bedtime (hey I wake up really early every morning…).  Too tired to wait for delivery, I just ate some pringles/potato chips  that I bought from the hotel ‘kitchen/pantry’.   The next day my food choices were no better.  French fries AND onion rings from Burger King!  Healthy eating went out the window!  Ok, let’s be honest even being cognizant of my food choices was long gone also.   I ended up driving home and working Tuesday through Thursday..and then driving back to the hospital super early Friday morning.  I spent the three days at home  spending my time catching up from house chores that I had missed during the weekend and trying to get ahead for the upcoming weekend because I knew there was a good chance that I would be back in Pittsburgh at the hospital.  I ate snacks those three days.  I have long admitted that I’m a stress eater…so of course food was consumed.  And I was busy so no Zumba…and very little yard work was done by myself…I was busy doing laundry, getting groceries, cleaning, etc.

My second trip to Pittsburgh was no better with food.  I didn’t skip meals leaving  myself super hungry this time.  I just made horrible choices.  A cookie for lunch!  Why yes, that sounds delightful!  Why not do cookies again for breakfast!!!  Fried foods?  Why yes, I think I will!  My eating was ferociously horrid during my second trip to the Pittsburgh hospital also!

Mom has since been moved to a stroke rehab back here near her home.  A 30 minute drive for me.  So much more doable for visits.  So things have eased up.  But I remain stressed and worried about her.   I’m trying to pull myself back together in terms of my health…I’m really trying.  

Seeing mom struggle with a stroke has made me think more about my own health.  My weight is not healthy.  I am heading down a path toward health problems such as strokes, etc.   I know it.  Obesity is the pathway to so many debilitating and deadly diseases and conditions.  I know that I need to fix myself. My head is not in the sand. I know I need to change.

The problem?  My mind is at war.   The battle I am fighting you ask? The choice to: Eat what I want and feel the food addiction endorphins that make me feel better right now or eat healthy and feel better in the future.    On paper it seems clear….but it’s NOT clear in my head when it comes to actually making my food choices.  

I know I will regain my footing again…I know I can do it.  And I’m not promising that things will settle down…life doesn’t seem to work that way does it?

The fragility of health

I have a relatively small family. A mother and father (thank heavens both still living), an uncle (with a wife and two young children aged 11 and 8) a brother (with a wife and three young children aged 8,6,and 2) and a husband. That's it. Yesterday morning I woke up and all was well in my world. Everyone was relatively healthy. (my parents are getting older and experiencing some issues brought on by their age but that's to be expected). I operated all day on the assumption that my family was well. Until I got the phone call last night. I answered the phone and happily greeted my mom. She started right in on the news. "Hayley has been in the ER all day". Hayley??? She is my 11 year old cousin. I immediately thought of afflictions that commonly occur with an 11 year old tom-girl. Broken arm. Broken leg. Yeah, something like that I was sure. But then my mom said the words that caused my spinning thoughts to cease and for my body to start shaking with shock. "They've confirmed that she has had a stroke." Looking back, the family realized that she had been having problems and dragging her one leg. Her younger brother after the fact told how she was having problems 'getting a grip and pulling herself up into the truck the other day' But it wasn't until she was writing a report for school and her mother saw her writing, normally neat was now illegible even though she was painstakingly working on it. And then all the small seemingly innocuous symptoms clicked together (hayley is a bit of a drama queen and has on occasion created 'injuries' for attention) My aunt called the doctor and he sent them immediately to the ER. Hours and tests later and the reports came back....'she's had a stroke'. The hospital readily admitted that they were out of their league and started making plans to send her to one of he hospitals in the dc metro area....via a helicopter. However, the fog had rolled in by that point so they went by ambulance. (the helicopter scares me...you don't airlift someone unless it's very serious!........the last time they talked about airlifting a family member was when my grandmother had a stroke, caused by an aneurysm....the one that eventually killed her....and the fog rolled in that night also and she went by ambulance....so way to reminiscent) We are now waiting for more news.

In one day my healthy family has been turned on it's heel. I've talked in this blog about my cousin and the fact that I worry about her because she is a solid girl and I fear that she follows in the footsteps of so many people in our family history and struggle with her weight all her life. (her mother just had gastric bypass...so weight problems are very close to home in her case).

What does all this do to my thought processes in regard to my weight loss journey? On one hand it scares me because without knowing the reasons for Hayleys current problem, I know that the path that I was on could so easily have brought me to a stroke or worse. It also makes me feel proud because I have greatly reduced my risks for stroke and heart problems. Most importantly, it has really cemented in my head how precious and fleeting good health is. And on that same note, it has made me realize that everything I do has an effect on my health.....and it makes me want to do everything I can to avoid something that can be avoided by a healthy lifestyle.

I faced he scale this morning and I have to admit that I'm 3 pounds up. Sobering within the context of everything that's happening.