A Year for the Record Books

​I’m telling you, this year is the year that is just not letting up!  It’s been one thing after the other!  Some good others bad!  It’s been nuts!

The first part of the year was swallowed up whole as we hunted for and bought a house. 

We settled on our house and then commenced the never ending move that stretched almost two complete months. We finished the move, drove back to the apartment (an hour and fifteen minutes away from our house) grabbed the last and turned in our key…and smiled because life would slow down then!  And quite literally my mom had a stroke the next day.    The madness of life continued as I tried to continue taking care of the house, the yard, put in my  time at work and make trips to see mom.  (I’m about 35 minutes away so any visit starts with an hour of travel time.  

Summer flew by like crazy as I ran around like a chicken with my head cut off.   I literally fell into the habit of cleaning the house at 6am…why?  Because that is when I could carve out a few minutes to do it.  I can clean the toilets and the bathroom sinks on my 15 minute breaks from work….which is what I do. I prep foods for dinner during my lunch break so that I can clear up an evening to go see mom after work.   I literally run around trying to make the most of every minute.  (Jason works a 9-1 hour day and has a 1 hour commute each way…..so his time is just as limited.).  I kept my head above the water…even though it felt like it was just barely.  

My weight maintained but only because I remained so busy.

I started Weight Watchers at the beginning of September and and had some success as I lost almost 10 pounds in that first month.  I was tickled too because I was super stressed due to some fear about the longevity of my job.  The end of August and most of September also marked a nice vicious case of poison.  All over my arms, legs and torso.  I pushed through with over the counter medication, but did not have a fun 3-4 weeks.  Things started to turn at the end of September.  The poison cleared up for the last week of the month.  Even better, at the very end of September I found out that my job was secure.  The timing for both of those things was perfect as  we had the first week off for vacation and to celebrate our anniversary. 

Our vacation was a staycation.  We decided to do a few little things local but to stay at home and work on the shed.   The shed on our property needed some love.  The leanto portion on the back was ready to cave in.  So we spent the week clearing the brush around the shed,  tearing that down (the leanto is 20x10), burning everything in the fire pit (one piece at a time) and starting the rebuild process.   I actually managed to maintain my weight over our vacation week. That is all thanks to being so active because I was ravenous the whole time!   

 On the third day of our vacation, I woke up and felt some itchiness…yes, I had managed to attract poison AGAIN.  (This was actually before we cleared the brush…so go figure).   The poison kept getting worse.  So bad that I ended up in the Urgent Care on the first day back to work after vacation.  They gave me steroids and sent me on my way.   

Steroids…well you know what that did to my weight!   Seeing it pop up did something to my mental capacity and will power and I began to struggle with tracking my food.    Oh, and the worst part of it?  The steroids did NOTHING for the poison and rashes!  Oh my word, the poison was so horrible!  What I thought was a bad case in September was nothing compared to this!  My complete torso was covered…my legs..arms, neck and even patches on my face.  My torso and thighs were the worst and I maintained this fire engine red color for weeks.  It wasn’t just itchy…it was painful.  Horrible!   Finally about the third to fourth week of October the bright red and terrible pain and itch had passed leavening me with dry scales skin.   I am still dealing with that and with bouts of itchiness.   What a month!

At the end of October they started to talk about sending mom home from Rehab.  She is super excited.  My brother and I not as much.  She is NOT ready to live on her own and we know it.  Ratchet up the stress another notch.

And then on October 27th, I went to visit mom after work.  I drove home and got home after dark.   I pulled in and saw Jason at the chopping block splitting down some firewood.  All was completely normal as I got out of the car.  I turned to head into the house and Jason had already gone inside.  I walked into the kitchen and noticed Jason bent over, but I was rushing to get dinner on the stove and in the oven since it was so late.  I greeted Jason and his words weee ‘I just cut myself’.  I asked if it was bad, still not shifting my focus from the stove and my dinner plans.    ‘Yes, really bad, I need to go to an urgent care’. I turned, shocked because he avoids doctors at all costs! That is when actually took stock of my kitchen…aka the crime scene.  Yeah, the axe slipped…went through his shoe…through his sock and right into his foot.  I grabbed a clean towel for him (he was using his sock to try to staunch the blood) and we headed out to urgent care.   Just as a side note…if you arrive with a foot wrapped in a blood soaked towel, they hustle you right back to a room.  The doctor wakes in soon thereafter and took one look at his foot and said ‘yeah, you most likely severed a tendon’ and sent us to the ER.  (They wrapped the foot …so that he was not leaking blood everywhere…which was nice of them, but slowed down our care in the ER as he was at that point not a bleeding priority).   X-rays and a phone consult with a podiatrist as they were also not sure of the status of his tendons.  We got home super late and I scrubbed the kitchen floor at 2AM and then went to bed.  I was up at 4:30 and out the door early for some other things concerning mom’s discharge…but made it back home in time to take Jason to his appointment with the specialist.  The specialist ordered an MRI because the tendon damage possibility could still not be determined.  Well on Monday we had the MRI and got the results.  He severed one tendon and nicked a second tendon.  Surgery or no surgery.  It’s possible they will heal on their own.  But possible that he needs surgery.  It’s up in the air and I believe we are going to try the least invasive, no surgery option.   At the worst, he will need surgery eventually.  At the best…it heals on its own.    So he is supposed to be no. Weight bearing for the next couple weeks…then a restrictive boot for a few more weeks.     Yes, I’m stressed to the max!

Ohhh and he can’t work…his employer is a small business with only a handful of employees…there is no short term disability.  We are now (and for the unforseeable future) a one paycheck family.    I’m trying to remain calm.  But it’s difficult.

So life is crazy.  So very crazy.  My eating has been steady…but not great.    My emotions are in an uproar as I feel like I am failing at everything I do.  Trying to do it all and falling short at everything.   Last night I sat on the couch trying to occupy my mind and I had a thought.  It was a thought that I had held onto tightly during the end of my marriage.   And that thought and mantra was ‘I can not control much of what is happening in my life and surroundings.  But I CAN control what food I put into my mouth’.  (For the most part…at 1AM leaving the ER having not eating in 14 hours…there wasn’t many options for where to pick up dinner…but I still had control over what I ordered.).    

  So if my food is the only thing I can control….control it!!!    This, this morning I pulled out my WW app and I have entered my food into the tracker.  I’m going to revel in the control I can have!!!

Mind over Matter

Years ago when I was running consistently, I bought a road of bracelet.  (It is an armband/ankle band that has your identifying information on it should someone find you  unable to communicate while you are out biking or running). Mine had my name and contact info on it...and I also put the phrase  ‘mind over Matter’ on it.  For me it meant that my body would be telling me that I was dying and my body would be telling me that I couldn’t do it....but if I put my mind to the task then I could accomplish unimaginable goals!   It worked for me...and I latched onto that phrase for quite a while.  But eventually my focus shifted and I forgot the phrase...until recently.  Recently I had my eyes opened to how much power the mind really does have when it comes to attaining seemingly hard to reach and even unattainable goals.

 I have the best brother in the whole wide world.   Growing up, sure we fought (like cats and dogs my mom may say) but I have many memories of amazing times with him. You see, I had a brother that played with me.  He played restaurant with me (yeah...I had a kitchen set and since my grandmother owned a restaurant, we used to pretend we owned a restaurant!)...he was willing to play something more ‘girlie’ with me....but then on the flip side, I played army men with him....I had my own collection of matchbox cars that I pulled out to play with when I wanted to join him in his play.   Growing up, he really was my best friend.   We have grown up and while life keeps us busy and running in opposite directions...I know my brother still loves me just as much as I love him....and I know he would raise an army for me if I needed it.  I just wanted to share about my amazing brother before I wrote and share the story about him!

About two or three months ago (on Labor Day to be exact) my brother was out riding his bike.  My brother rides road bikes...a LOT so this is not uncommon.  He was riding with a group of people. They actually got off the road and onto a rail trail for something a bit different.  My brother was second in line.  The person that was leading the group had an accident (from what I was told he hit something and lost his grip on the handlebars and went down).  Going the speed they were going (probably about 20 -25 mph) and being only inches off of the lead persons wheel, my brother couldn’t avoid it...he ended up crashing. It was bad...bad enough that he had to take a ride in an ambulance to the local hospital....and from there he took another ambulance ride to a hospital in Baltimore (70 miles away) for a specialist.  Why the extra ride?  He broke his pelvis and it would require surgery (and a more delicate surgery due to where the break was located).  He was in the hospital for a few days, had the surgery and added some hardware to his body (screws and I think a plate) and then came home.  I am a google person...so I researched his injury, surgery and recovery.  6 months if someone is lucky...but usually closer to a year.  Wow...that was a tough pill to swallow for me, and I worried about my brother.   But, here is where mind over matter comes into play.

As the week in the hospital unfolded we were told that he wouldn’t be able to put any weight on that side of his body for a few weeks....but that soon changed to crutches and minimal weight.  I don’t know if the doctor sensed his drive, but even that soon changed to ‘use the walking assistance as needed’. He was sent home from the hospital with crutches (he declined the walker as that seemed like an old person’s option...and he said a cane seemed too permanent).  

Jason and I stopped by for a visit sometime within the first week of him getting home. We knocked on the door and my jaw dropped ...my brother answered the door...walking on his own two feet...unassisted!  Yeah, he had a limp but where were the crutches?  They were in a corner in the other room.  The doctor said as needed...and he didn’t need them...not at that moment for short walks and jaunts.   Somewhere in those first two weeks I was talking to my mom and she mentioned that one of my brothers first forays into the world after getting home was to drive to the bike shop.  You see, he had pulled the trigger on a new bike a day or two before his accident.  He had to go to the bike shop to check out his new baby.  They has put the build on hold because they knew the extent of his injury....and my brother had to go to get them working again...and to see his buddies!

I saw my brother  again two weeks to the day after the accident and a week and a half after the surgery.  He was walking most of the time unassisted.  And he said this to me.  ‘They tell me that the average recovery time is a year.  A year recovery time is unacceptable’.  Unacceptable?  I wanted to look at him and say ‘sorry big brother but this is NOT something you have control over’. But I didn’t. He started to talk about getting back on a bike...his indoor bike.  And when he went to his first follow up appointment the next day he was cleared for 15 minute rides on the indoor bike...low resistance.  Let me say it again...two weeks and 1 day after the accident (or to make it sound  even more amazing...1 week and 5 days after surgery) my brother was on his indoor bike trainer riding!

My brother picked up his new bike...and he rode it around the block!  And then came the day.....right around the two month mark that I was talking to my mom and brother on the phone (hey I call mom and talk to her during my commute home from work each Tuesday and Thursday...she puts the phone on speaker phone and I talk to whomeever is visiting her also...yes I’m hands free also!!). I heard the news.  My brother had been riding outside...each day that week...about 25 miles .  That’s 25 miles each ride...not an accumulation of miles.  Not his new bike...he was riding his old bike just because he knows how it handles and how it feels...feels more safe to be on a bike that he knows...and as he said he didn’t even have bottle cages on the new bike yet.   But I noticed over thanksgiving while I was feeding his cat...and I was checking out his new bike...cuz that’s what a good sister does (and let me tell you..his new bike is SHARP looking...) but I noticed that he is gearing it up...it now had bottle cages!  Apparently two weeks after starting to ride, the doctor ok’d him to ride anyway...so he isn’t doing anything harmful..just maybe a bit earlier than the doctor may have wanted (of course some of that could be because he doesn’t see the doctor all that often...and I’m sure he probably spoke of it to his physical therapists). 

A year was unacceptable....his mind made that proclamation.  And he had ignored all the ‘year recovery’ babble.  He decided to forge his own recovery. And it is amazing to see. I can well imagine that there are people (even people younger than my brother...he will be 50 in March) who had the same or similar surgery and at two months in are still walking using crutches 100% of the time. I’m not downing them...their minds haven’t declared the prescribed recovery time as unacceptable!  (My brother wanted to be back on his bike badly...and the business he owns is  very physical as he builds the most incredible furniture and he needs to be back to 100% for that also).

Mind over matter!  Put your mind to something and you can achieve the most amazing results.....against all odds!!!

LOVED IT!

It was a busy day.  I was so excited for it to hit.  This was my four hour work day, so i was free by noon.  I made plans.  I was excited!

I woke up early and laid out the different outfits I would need throughout the day all in a row on the bed.  I knew that there was a very good chance that time could be tight and that by the time I got home at the end of the day that I wouldn't want to have to dig around looking for clothes.  What outfits were laid out?

Work........bicycling......zumba......clothes to sleep in.

I got off work and headed home.  Todd had picked up lunch and we ate that.  I caught up on the dishes and we headed out.  We decided to ride on the Western Maryland Rail Trail today.  It was fun.  I took my road bike again.  I figure to strip down the pain levels...so nice and flat, another great chance to get used to the differences of my road bike.  My arms still took a beating but it's getting better.

On the bike ride I wiped out.  I saw something I wanted to stop and see (I wanted to read a wayside...a bit about the history of that particular spot). I slammed on the breaks.  I got my one foot out of the clip but the rush stop had thrown my balance off and I hopped across the path in a desperate attempt to remain upright.  Duh, I was still clipped in on the left foot.  In that moment I KNEW what was happening, but I just couldn't get my foot free!  Down I went.  My brother had told me to wear gloves all the time, for the padding, for the grip on the bike and to protect my hands.   I have to say.....I was thankful that I had the gloves on.  My hands landed on the pavement and there was no ill effect.  I was fine.  No injuries whatsoever.   I picked myself back up and grinned back at Todd who was standing there with a dumbstruck look on his face.  He quickly realized that I was ok and then proceeded to tell me that he wished he'd have caught that on video.....I have to say...too bad, it would have been a great addition to this blog!

We got to the car and headed home. We had to make  quick stop at a store, but I was home in plenty of time.  I quickly changed my clothes and with only a few moments of rest I headed back out.  Why?  Tonight was a zumbathon to raise money for a breast cancer organization.  2.5 hours of zumba!  What fun! 

Now I'm home and I will be the first to admit...I'm TIRED!    But you know what...I SHOULD be tired.  4 hours of exercise is quite a bit of activity!  That's not including the normal stuff like walking through a store, house work, etc etc etc!

I will stay away from the scales tomorrow.  It was such a crazy day with excess exercise, excess water, etc etc etc.  I don't want to see it.  I will wait until it regulates! 

What a FUN FUN FUN day!