Time to check in with my weight

 It was a really good week. I feel as if i was able to keep my eating under control.  I made wise choices.  I stayed within the caloric/point range that I set aside!  I did indulge in a sweet treat over the weekend, but the indulgence was the single night. Even better, when the weekend was over, I was only up by 1/2 pound!  That is a huge victory!  Typically, on weekends I am up about 2 pounds and then spend the weekdays trying to play catch up!

Healthy Habits

I am doing fabulous with the three main healthy habits that I am working on! 

I have been doing amazing with the tracking.  I am like a machine!  I have actually been taking my tracking to a new level.  I have my food tracker apps that I use. I have my garmin app.  I have this app and that app.  But I made a spreadsheet and I am putting all of my stats onto one spreadsheet.  It has been amazing to be able to see all the stats in one place....and see how they correlate and work together (or against each other!).   

I have also been doing great with my water intake.  I was a little worried because at the beginning of March I decided to start to do Intermittent fasting and to do it RIGHT.  That meant that my morning flavor packs had to go.  I was nervous, but switched to lemon in my water and it has been going great!  I typically get my 64 ounces completed by the end of my day and then switch to my flavored water (which contains my vitamin pack).   SO, with this said, I've not only managed to make an even switch....but I have also upped my water consumption from 64 ounces to 72 ounces per day!

Exercise has been rough.....simply because my leg is acting up. NOt sure what it is doing.  But I have been having pain behind my knee.  Some days it radiates down to my calf...and other days up my thigh.  I can pretty much trace the pain, so I think it is a nerve or a muscle.  Jason looked at the back of my leg and saw a lump and some swelling.  For that reason, I have lowered my intensity level on my exercise by quite a bit.  I have also tried to limit how many squats and lunges I do.  I'm here to build my body not to tear it down.   So, working through the pain and restrictions have been difficult.  But I have managed it!   I am going strong with my exercise!

Weigh IN

Last week I had a fabulous loss, and I was worried about pulling another fabulous weight loss for the second week in a row.  But I vowed to hold it together over the weekend and do everything right.  Live but manage wisely was my motto!  And I am so happy to say that I lost 2.6 pounds this week!  YAY

I am pushing foward.  I am more determined than ever!

Have my cake and eat it too

 I am still at it!  My absence did NOT mean that I have fallen off the bandwagon.  It did not mean that I have given up and started to shovel food into my mouth at some insane rate of speed!  Nope, my absence is simply that I have been busy!  I have continued to work my healthy living plan and I'm doing well!

Healthy Habits

I continue to work on the healthy habits. I feel like I am nailing them.  I have some slips to report, but overall, I feel as if I'm doing great!

 I am continuing to track all of my food.   I do great with this!  I am able to keep myself within my food budget most days.  I usually have one day on the weekend that is a bit higher, but I'm actually really cool with that!  I have always adhered to a 'cheat day' mentality.   Even though I hate the word cheat....I have a day where I kinda do what I want.  I don't worry about the calories or points.  I feel as if this is important for the longevity of this lifestyle.  I know for me saying that I will never again eat pizza or that I will never have cake again is utterly preposterous.  That is not sustainable.  I also know from experience that I can abstain and lost weight.  But when I lose the weight I will dive back into those unhealthy options and unhealthy habits face first.  So I am working to learn to have my cake and eat it too!  So I did have cake over the weekend.  I did have a day where my points were kinda high.  And that's ok!

I am continuing to work on getting at least 64 ounces of water each day.  I am pretty consistent with this now.   I don't have to give it 'too' much thought.  So it really is becoming a habit!  I am still flavoring my water.  I use a trace mineral vitamin packet in the morning.   I have been doing that since before Covid .   At first I was more sporadic but once covid hit, I became quite consistent with that.    I also use flavor packs for my water throughout the day.  Each packet flavors one bottle or 16 ounces of water.  I use one flavor packet to flavor a 32 ounce container of water.  SO not too bad.  I am working toward eliminiating that flavor packet and only have my morning vitamin packet.   In time.  Right now I"m just happy to be getting my 64 ounces of water even if it is flavored.   

There was one day where I did not get my water.  I got up to about 32 ounces of water and prepared my next 32 ounces of water. I was going to take it with me when I went to visit my mom.  I was about 30 minutes down the road when I realized that I had left it on the kitchen counter.  Ooops.  I didn't get home until about 8:00 or 8:30 and I was NOT going to chug 32 ounces of water before bed. (We go to bed early as the morning alarm goes off at 5AM and I"m usually up before that).  I dind't want to have to get up numerous times to go to the bathroom.  THat's annoying for me....and Jason who has his sleep interuppted when I get up out of bed.  It wakes up the bird...who needs sleep so he is not a jerk!   AND it stirs up the puppy who sleeps in a crate in our bedroom.   And when the puppy gets stirred it means a trip outside.....it's winter and cold!  So I readily gave up my perfect streak of water consumption.   The good thing?  I was right back at it the next day and I"ve not looked back and didn't let that one day mess me up!

Exercise has also been going really well!  I have been exercising consistently!  I have even added in some strength training!  GO me!   My steps have suffered a bit.  The first to weeks of the year I was doing GREAT with getting my goal of 8K steps a day.     A lot of that was procurred during my exercise time. (I do youtube videos......).   I was doing great!  BUT, I knew that I needed to work on some resistence training.  So i backed off on my cardio videos and added in some strength training videos.   The problem?  Strength training doesn't give me the steps.  I didn't hae the time to add the strength training in on top of the cardio.  So I opted to back off on that goal and be more well rounded in my workouts!  

So the healthy habits are going really well!

Puppy life

The puppy is doing well.  She is so cute!  It's cold outside though!  It's miserable to take her out sometimes.  We didn't think through the fact that we don't have a fenced in yard!  So we have to be out with her!   She has bad separation anxiety anyway!  So even when we try to put her on the lead and go inside and watch from the warmth, she just comes to the door and cries.  Yeah, breaks our hearts also!  So outside we go in the cold. (and rain on a few occasions). 

Axe Boy

Jason is still not back to work.  His foot is slowly healing and at his last appointment the doctor was surprised that there seems to be more function than he originally thought Jason was going to get.  This leads him to believe that the tendon was possibly NOT cut the whole way through OR that it was cut but somehow the ends have fused together on their own.  (The MRI was inconclusive.....it looked as if it was severed but it was not a 100% certainty.)  So the doctor wanted Jason off for 6 more weeks.  (he still is in PT to get more function to be able to actually do his job).  He goes back to the doctor on Feb 13.   His being home is nice.  I like having him in the house while I"m working and spending my breaks with him.  It is also perfect timing to get a puppy since he has time to work with the puppy.  It's not perfect timing financially as we just bought a house.   At least Jason can drive now himself.  The first two months or so were rough as he couldn't drive and I was waiting on him hand and foot as he was supposed to be off the foot 100%.

Weigh in

I have been weighing myself on Fridays.   Surprisingly, I have been staying away from the scale most other days. FOr me this is weird because I have always been a daily weigh person.  And some days it drives me crazy because I am in a state of panic about what my weight is doing.  (I don't torture myself; I just go and weigh myself that day for a check). This past Friday I weighed myself and I was down more!  I have lost 7 pounds since the beginning of this year!     I have the momentum and I am determined!

The days are just flying by!  I blink and it's the next day.    I am still trying to do it all and juggle everything.  Some days I feel as if I'm failing miserably and some days, I feel like I've got this thing called life licked.  I'm trying to not let life get to me.  I'm trying to not get overwhelmed.  I'm just trying to take one day at a time!!!

A Year for the Record Books

​I’m telling you, this year is the year that is just not letting up!  It’s been one thing after the other!  Some good others bad!  It’s been nuts!

The first part of the year was swallowed up whole as we hunted for and bought a house. 

We settled on our house and then commenced the never ending move that stretched almost two complete months. We finished the move, drove back to the apartment (an hour and fifteen minutes away from our house) grabbed the last and turned in our key…and smiled because life would slow down then!  And quite literally my mom had a stroke the next day.    The madness of life continued as I tried to continue taking care of the house, the yard, put in my  time at work and make trips to see mom.  (I’m about 35 minutes away so any visit starts with an hour of travel time.  

Summer flew by like crazy as I ran around like a chicken with my head cut off.   I literally fell into the habit of cleaning the house at 6am…why?  Because that is when I could carve out a few minutes to do it.  I can clean the toilets and the bathroom sinks on my 15 minute breaks from work….which is what I do. I prep foods for dinner during my lunch break so that I can clear up an evening to go see mom after work.   I literally run around trying to make the most of every minute.  (Jason works a 9-1 hour day and has a 1 hour commute each way…..so his time is just as limited.).  I kept my head above the water…even though it felt like it was just barely.  

My weight maintained but only because I remained so busy.

I started Weight Watchers at the beginning of September and and had some success as I lost almost 10 pounds in that first month.  I was tickled too because I was super stressed due to some fear about the longevity of my job.  The end of August and most of September also marked a nice vicious case of poison.  All over my arms, legs and torso.  I pushed through with over the counter medication, but did not have a fun 3-4 weeks.  Things started to turn at the end of September.  The poison cleared up for the last week of the month.  Even better, at the very end of September I found out that my job was secure.  The timing for both of those things was perfect as  we had the first week off for vacation and to celebrate our anniversary. 

Our vacation was a staycation.  We decided to do a few little things local but to stay at home and work on the shed.   The shed on our property needed some love.  The leanto portion on the back was ready to cave in.  So we spent the week clearing the brush around the shed,  tearing that down (the leanto is 20x10), burning everything in the fire pit (one piece at a time) and starting the rebuild process.   I actually managed to maintain my weight over our vacation week. That is all thanks to being so active because I was ravenous the whole time!   

 On the third day of our vacation, I woke up and felt some itchiness…yes, I had managed to attract poison AGAIN.  (This was actually before we cleared the brush…so go figure).   The poison kept getting worse.  So bad that I ended up in the Urgent Care on the first day back to work after vacation.  They gave me steroids and sent me on my way.   

Steroids…well you know what that did to my weight!   Seeing it pop up did something to my mental capacity and will power and I began to struggle with tracking my food.    Oh, and the worst part of it?  The steroids did NOTHING for the poison and rashes!  Oh my word, the poison was so horrible!  What I thought was a bad case in September was nothing compared to this!  My complete torso was covered…my legs..arms, neck and even patches on my face.  My torso and thighs were the worst and I maintained this fire engine red color for weeks.  It wasn’t just itchy…it was painful.  Horrible!   Finally about the third to fourth week of October the bright red and terrible pain and itch had passed leavening me with dry scales skin.   I am still dealing with that and with bouts of itchiness.   What a month!

At the end of October they started to talk about sending mom home from Rehab.  She is super excited.  My brother and I not as much.  She is NOT ready to live on her own and we know it.  Ratchet up the stress another notch.

And then on October 27th, I went to visit mom after work.  I drove home and got home after dark.   I pulled in and saw Jason at the chopping block splitting down some firewood.  All was completely normal as I got out of the car.  I turned to head into the house and Jason had already gone inside.  I walked into the kitchen and noticed Jason bent over, but I was rushing to get dinner on the stove and in the oven since it was so late.  I greeted Jason and his words weee ‘I just cut myself’.  I asked if it was bad, still not shifting my focus from the stove and my dinner plans.    ‘Yes, really bad, I need to go to an urgent care’. I turned, shocked because he avoids doctors at all costs! That is when actually took stock of my kitchen…aka the crime scene.  Yeah, the axe slipped…went through his shoe…through his sock and right into his foot.  I grabbed a clean towel for him (he was using his sock to try to staunch the blood) and we headed out to urgent care.   Just as a side note…if you arrive with a foot wrapped in a blood soaked towel, they hustle you right back to a room.  The doctor wakes in soon thereafter and took one look at his foot and said ‘yeah, you most likely severed a tendon’ and sent us to the ER.  (They wrapped the foot …so that he was not leaking blood everywhere…which was nice of them, but slowed down our care in the ER as he was at that point not a bleeding priority).   X-rays and a phone consult with a podiatrist as they were also not sure of the status of his tendons.  We got home super late and I scrubbed the kitchen floor at 2AM and then went to bed.  I was up at 4:30 and out the door early for some other things concerning mom’s discharge…but made it back home in time to take Jason to his appointment with the specialist.  The specialist ordered an MRI because the tendon damage possibility could still not be determined.  Well on Monday we had the MRI and got the results.  He severed one tendon and nicked a second tendon.  Surgery or no surgery.  It’s possible they will heal on their own.  But possible that he needs surgery.  It’s up in the air and I believe we are going to try the least invasive, no surgery option.   At the worst, he will need surgery eventually.  At the best…it heals on its own.    So he is supposed to be no. Weight bearing for the next couple weeks…then a restrictive boot for a few more weeks.     Yes, I’m stressed to the max!

Ohhh and he can’t work…his employer is a small business with only a handful of employees…there is no short term disability.  We are now (and for the unforseeable future) a one paycheck family.    I’m trying to remain calm.  But it’s difficult.

So life is crazy.  So very crazy.  My eating has been steady…but not great.    My emotions are in an uproar as I feel like I am failing at everything I do.  Trying to do it all and falling short at everything.   Last night I sat on the couch trying to occupy my mind and I had a thought.  It was a thought that I had held onto tightly during the end of my marriage.   And that thought and mantra was ‘I can not control much of what is happening in my life and surroundings.  But I CAN control what food I put into my mouth’.  (For the most part…at 1AM leaving the ER having not eating in 14 hours…there wasn’t many options for where to pick up dinner…but I still had control over what I ordered.).    

  So if my food is the only thing I can control….control it!!!    This, this morning I pulled out my WW app and I have entered my food into the tracker.  I’m going to revel in the control I can have!!!

Revealing a Wee little Secret

​When I wrote my last post, I talked about my colossal failure at the diet bet.  I talked a bit about the desire to lose weight but the struggle.  I didn’t talk about the good in my life. I also didn’t reveal a wee little secret.  Sufficient time as passed and it’s time to reveal.

So what has been happening in life?  Life has been flying at an insane pace for us for months on end. Searching for a house, buying a house, moving and settling in, mom’s stroke, mowing….mowing some more…and then mowing some more.  (Yes we are still push mowing….I still haven’t heard anything about my job and this we haven’t purchased a riding mower yet.   The end date for my team was supposed to be September 26th, but they pushed the date until October 14th.  So more waiting as they decide if they are going to move me to another team or lay me off. All my coworkers and even my manager have told me that my job should be safe due to my work ethics, productivity, etc…but still…that’s all speculation.) 

In late August I put my foot down and decided that we needed to start eking out a bit of time for us.  A bit of exploration.  A bit of entertainment.  A bit of something fun.   So in August, on Jason’s birthday weekend we took a day and went northwest to Old Bedford Village.  This is a living history village. History is always a win!

A week or two later we visited the Conococheague Insitute.  This is hands on, living history museum. Another history win!  And seriously, how many of us can say that they have literally stomped grapes?   I can..now!

We have also been getting out more and doing some geocaching.  That takes us to parks, historical locations and all around.  

Getting out and doing something fun and relaxing has really helped that ‘depression’ that I have been dealing with.

So I’m my last post I talked about how I had a colossal failure.  I was referring to my failed attempt to do a diet bet.  I had been talking to some coworkers and the need/desire to lose weight came up in the conversation.  One coworker talked about a diet bet and I jumped on the bandwagon.  Another coworker and I talked about the requirement of our insurance to either go through weight loss coaching or join weight watchers in order to get a lower price for health insurance due to our ‘undesirable weight’. I had mentioned to her that weight watchers had worked for me in the past and I may try it again.  In reality, weight watchers had worked really well the first time I tried it, with me reaching my goals and lifetime status.   I also had joined weight watchers right before covid shut the world down and I had been lstarting to see some success.  But when things went belly up I stopped the weight watchers.  I told this all to my coworker and then nothing else was said about it.  That is, nothing was said until the last day of August when she thanked me for that conversation.   She had been inspired to join weight watchers after that conversation 6 weeks earlier and she had lost 17 pounds already.  I was so happy for her.  Yet saddened for myself.  She had acted upon the conversation.  I had not (or rather I went with some untried method instead of going toward what had previously worked for me).   She had lost 17 pounds and I was sitting at the exact same weight.  (And our starting weights were almost exactly the same).  I was sad and frustrated with myself. But I didn’t dwell.  I joined weight watchers on my very next break from work.    I started immediately even though the weekend was dawning and weekends are difficult for me.  I started immediately even though I knew it would be extra difficult due to the upcoming long Labor Day weekend.  I started on the first of September.  I decided to do it secretly and tell no one (other than that one coworker). Thus, in my last post on here;  I just talked about my failure with the diet bet and not the new hope of weight watchers.  I needed to start it privately.   I have been so vocal about my weight loss efforts and failures on here…and in my YouTube channel (even though I haven’t posted there recently).  But I knew in my heart that I needed a private start before announcing it to the world.   I needed to do it without the pressure of anyone that reads this knowing.   Seriously, I told no one other than my coworker!  I didn’t even tell my husband.  I just quietly joined and started tracking and exercising.  I told him last weekend and I was also able to tell him that I was 5 pounds down.   And now it’s time to tell you.    So here it is… ‘I joined weight watchers and in the first two weeks I have lost 7.8 pounds’!!!

So how is that for a secret???? 

)

Weight watchers vs Calorie Counting

So this past week I started the great debate in my mind.  Which is better?  Calorie counting or Weight watchers points counting?    How to decide what method to follow????

I started my weight loss journey years ago with some rudimentary calorie counting.  I started with good old pen and paper and a calorie book.  But then I started to use a website, I  believe the website that I used was fitday.com.  Eventually I switched over to Weight Watchers and I had great success with the plan.  I even made lifetime.  But at some point I had issues......I know that some of the issues that I had were in my own head , my attitude and behaviors.  BUT, I also know that when they changed the plan and added so many additional free foods (fruits for one) that I struggled.  I worked the system, even before they added so many free foods.  And it worked for me when the free foods were limited.. Yes, I ate green beans (free) and Sourkraut (also free) and a Wasa cracker (the one I got was free points) EVERY. DAY. FOR. LUNCH.  I ate green beans and sourkraut so much in the year or so it took me to lose my weight that I didn't eat those things for a few years afterward.  But the free foods were limited and so I was limited and restricted.....which for a food addict is a good thing!

When weight watchers stopped working, I started counting calories using myfitnesspal.com.  This works too.  Recently though I had figured out that my body is whacky!  I only lose when my calories are down at about 1200 to 1400 calories.   If I hover around 1400-1600 calories I maintain and anything over that I gain.  I know...I know....this is not typical.  By the numbers I should be losing at 1500 calories...but I can't help it!  It is what it is!

But a month or two ago I decided to rejoin weight watchers.  And I had success for the first few weeks but then it just became a constant struggle.  I want to know why??

So about a week ago, I decided to double track.  I did that for most days this past week.  And I remembered a few things and learned a few things.  Number one....I love the fruit and all of those 'FREE" fruits still do add up in calories.  Number two......my daily points, without my weekly points usually take me right to the 1500 calorie mark.   I have already ascertained that I don't lose at that caloric level!  So maybe it is no wonder that I am not losing.  Those first few weeks on weight watchers, i was gung ho and I ate below my points goal each day......so I was most likely eating down around 1200 calories!  Then when I am 'spot on' and expecting a loss because of being spot on with my points I am really sitting at 1500 calories...which is maintain zone for me.  And Heavens...those weeks when I drill into my weekly points (which I could never eat many of my weekly points....or activity points even way back when I was losing the weight the first time)  I am up in my gain zone!

It all makes sense for me!   So that leaves me with the question........weight watchers points or calorie tracking ?    I haven't decided yet.   They both have certain aspects that I like.  I know that double tracking is just to unwieldy and time consuming. But I just hate to make that decision!   Hmmmm...maybe I will just push off that decision for another week..or two!

Success Story - Lori

Lori chose the stealth mode when she started her weight loss journey.   She made the decision and quietly started to work on her weight.  It was quite a while before she actually announced to the general public (aka Facebook) that she had not only been working on her weight, but had been having some nice success.   As scary as it is to come forward and admit to the world that she was on this journey to health, Lori has showed us that you can have a busy life and have great success!

I had the pleasure of meeting Lori in college.  During my senior year, she and I lived in the same dorm and in fact our rooms were pretty much right across the hall.  Lori was the most vivacious and fun person to be around.  Her creativity and wit were a spark that made dorm life even more fun. (Seriously, who else do you know that would create a non-working fireplace in her dorm room at Christmas to celebrate the holiday!)  As I’ve seen her Facebook posts over the years I can see that the creativity and wit are still a driving part of her personality.   I was working on an idea for a success story page in my head when I saw her most recent post about her success and when I asked her, she very willingly accepted the offer to answer some questions.  Thank you Lori!

What sparked you to begin to lose weight?? I had a picture taken of me with my dad at Thanksgiving in 2016.  Thanksgiving has been tough for me, since my mom passed away and that Thanksgiving was especially hard, because it was the first since my dad had remarried.  I remember looking at that picture and seeing how sad I looked.  I mean, once you get beyond the fact that I was in desperate need of a dye job, I was overweight, sad, uncomfortable in my own skin.  I just didn’t like what I saw.   I also realized at 41, I was only a few years away from the age my mom was when she was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes and High Blood Pressure, that in some ways lead to her having the first of a series of debilitating strokes at the age of 50.  I knew I needed to make some changes in my life. It wasn’t something that happened all at once, but that picture kind of solidified a lot of my thoughts up to that point and haunted me in a way that helped me make the decision to quietly sign up for Weight Watchers about 6 weeks later in January of 2017.

What was your highest weight?   Current weight? My highest weight was 185.  That might not seem like a lot to some, but I’m only 4’10”.  My current weight is fluctuating around 136-140.How much weight have your lost in pounds? 45-49 – again with the fluctuationsWhat was your starting clothing size?  Your current size?  I was busting out of my 16s and fit into a pair of 18s, and now I’m around an 8/10.  I say 8, because I currently own TWO size 8 shorts!  Whoop! 

  What plan did you follow to lose your weight?  (ie weight watchers, slim fast, a plan of your own creation...)  I chose Weight Watchers and it’s been amazing for me.  I totally look at food differently now.  My son is a Type 1 Diabetic and has been since he was 7.  So, I’ve been helping him count carbs for years.  Counting points was an easy process for me to get used to.  It also allows me to have things I like.  In the past, I would give up all the things I liked the most – sugary things, CARBS!  With Weight Watchers I could still have those things, but only enough to satisfy that need and not exceed my points goal for the day.  I like the freedom of choice I have with Weight Watchers.

Have you reached your weight loss goal?  If so, how long have you been maintaining your weight?  I set out to get down to 120, but haven’t achieved that goal yet.  So, this is a work still in process.  I will say that I’ve started to get comfortable with the fact that maybe getting into the 130s is where my realistic, I’m-in-my-40s-now, health goal should be.  Still working that out with myself.

 Do you consistently track your food intake (via online or paperform) I consistently tracked my food daily on weightwatchers.com and their phone app for a solid year.  This year I’ve been hit and miss with my tracking.  Some days I’m great at it, some days….not so much.

 How often do you weigh yourself?  How did you come to that choice for how often?  I weigh myself almost daily.  I went a whole week once without weighing myself and I found I was super stressed by the not knowing and worried that I was gaining. So, I usually weigh myself first thing in the morning as a start to my day.

 What online tools do you use?  Beyond the Weight Watchers website, I use Pinterest for recipes.

Do your exercise regularly?  If so, what do you do?  I work with preschoolers, so in the beginning I just noted my daily steps.  But, I didn’t exercise intentionally until a good 4-5 months into my diet, because I really wanted to focus my energy into changing my eating habits.  Late April of ’17 I started walking with my family.  I now do power walks almost daily and sometimes incorporate jogging with that.  I love my walks!

 Do you have any words of advice for someone that is just starting out on this journey of weight loss and health?  I’ve had a lot of people ask me this question.  I’ve been struggling with my weight since Jr. High.  I’ve done tons of diets and failed at nearly all of them.  I think you really need to WANT it.  To realize that the bite of food you’re missing isn’t worth the struggle and sadness that often accompanies eating it.  I think they need to know that the mental part of a lifestyle/weight loss journey is MUCH tougher than the physical part.  I wasn’t prepared for the mental back and forth.  But, overall, I’d say that taking control of your life and your weight is one of the most empowering things I’ve ever done.  I know that this is not over for me.   My weight and, in turn, food will always be an issue for me.  This is a lifestyle change.  I won’t allow myself to eat like I used to.  I feel too good now to want to go back to that.    

 Is there anything else you would like to share?   I guess it just comes back to finding a way to be ok with this being a long-term goal and not a short term one.  Losing weight has always been about immediate goal-reaching for me.  If I wanted to lose 20 lbs and did, well, then I was done and would go back to eating my favorites all the time (Doritos anyone?), which led to gaining everything back.  This time the difference has been about doing it the right way.  Making life changes to my diet.  So, I’m a year and a half in and haven’t met my goal.  BUT, I’m still working.  I keep working.  I keep being aware of what I eat and when I exercise and look for ways to change things up to make more progress.  And, while the challenge of the mental part of it can be tiresome and overwhelming at times, the food part hasn’t been as hard as I thought it would be.  I still worry about failing.  I think anyone that has struggled with weight in their lifetime knows that Failure is that scary guy in the corner, but I feel equipped now in ways I haven’t ever before.  I’m no one special.  Just a gal who’s been right where everyone else has. The fact that I’ve lost weight in a way that others find successful is still a surprise to me.  

 Thank you Lori for taking the time to share your thoughts and weight loss success story with us.  You truly are an inspiration!  Keep up the great work!

Take responsibility

A few months back I wrote about taking responsibility for my weight loss. It wasn't weight watchers or any other system that made me lose weight.  It was me myself and I that lost the weight.  I am not knocking weight watchers or any other system.  They are great.  They provide the tools and support.  They are wonderful.  The problem comes into play when these weight loss systems become the end all be all to us.  I know that I did this in the past and while I was highly successful with the program that I chose (WW), I didn't learn valuable lessons.   I didn't learn that it was ME that did it.

This was brought up in my mind the other day.  I was writing a comment on a weight loss forum that I am part of.  Basically I was saying that by 6 that one night I wasn't sure that I was going to get my fruits and veggies in for the day.  It was a crap shot for me that day.  (It was Saturday....and Saturday was...well.....I'll get there later).   Someone posted back on there.....(and let me preface this by saying that this person was in no way being mean...and I am in no way trying to knock on them for their comment....it just sparked thought in my head)...they posted  "I'm on Weight Watchers, so I KNOW that I will get my 5 fruits and veggies a day".   Ok, that's fine....but there is that end all be all mentality that is so destructive in a long term kind of way.  Weight watchers is not the salvation.   Motivation is the salvation.  NO, you dont' know that you will get your fruits and veggies in.  Life throws curveballs.  Things happen.  Just being on the end all be all weight loss program does not mean automatic success.  Success comes from inside oneself!  The comment that would have made me happier to see....even with the weight watchers plug would have been.  "I'm super motivated while following weight watchers and I am motivated to get my recommended fruit and veggies in...because I CAN DO IT!"


Saturday.  I woke up. I woke up emotional.   I consciously made the decision while I laid in bed (I may or may not have been crying at that point) that I didn't give a flip about vegetables...if I got them in, so be it if I didn't.....big whop.  A few minutes later I also decided that I was going to screw the water consumption.  I was drinking diet soda all day.  So HA.   I was well on my way to having a 'blow it off day'.  No veggies (only the condiments on my sub) through breakfast and lunch.  Not a drop of water either.  Todd and I spent the afternoon outside working in the garden.  I was sucking down diet soda and a funny thing happened....my stomach was rebelling.  It was flipping and flopping and I felt MISERABLE.  I didn't think anything of it...but when my diet soda was gone, I wasn't thinking and the NEW habit that I've formed kicked in and I just filled my water mug and took that outside.  I started pounding the water and low and behold......I felt 100% better.  My body overruled my I dont' care attitude.   As for the veggies....uhhhh lets see refried beans at the mexican restaurant.......some lettuce and onions on my turkey sub........and can I count raspberry ice cream (soft serve) as a fruit??????  So I never recouped that decision.   However, Sunday I was back on track!  :-)

It's all me

I lost weight once before. I lost a lot of weight It's all chronicled on this blog. I lost near 130 pounds. I was highly successful. I even managed to maintain that weight for a while (in fairness I was trying to lose more, but my weight remained steady). I did it! People came up to me all the time and were in shock and  awe at the transformation that I had made. Without fail these people asked me how I did it. I had my answer and I said it with happiness and joy. Without fail I answered with two words. "Weight Watchers". I thought that was acceptable. Until now. I'm not saying that weight watchers didn't play a role in my weight loss. However those two words don't encompass the hard work that I did. Me myself and I did it all!!! Those two words don't mention the will power that it took to say no to a piece of cake when I had already eaten my food budget. It didn't even hint at the hours upon hours of exercise that I put in. It didn't discuss the hours of thought, determination and focus that the feat of losing 130 pounds takes. Those two words really detract from the work that I did.  Those two words made the whole process it seem rather easy. It laid all of the praise on the organization that is known as Weight Watchers and downplayed my role in the transformation. I was the perfect spokeswoman (unpaid) for

weight watchers. And let me stop and say that the weight watchers program is wonderful. I am a lifetime member and when I get back to my goal weight I will return to meetings for the community support! However I laid all praise at the feet of the weight watcher corporation.

Weight watchers was a crutch. Weight watchers was a tool. Weight watchers was accountability.Those things are great.   However weight watchers didn't lose the weight. I did. Weight watchers don't exercise for hours in end. I did. Weight watchers didn't summon all the will power to eat healthy. I did. Me me me!


This time around I'm accepting responsibility...that means my failures are mine alone. But it also means that my successes are mine and only mine. This is all me!!  I am changing myself...and no one else is responsible....me and me alone!

Another Week

Another week down and at my weigh in this past Tuesday, I found myself down another 3.2 pounds. This brings my total since starting weight watchers to 9.4 pounds. Yippee! My first goal is 24 pounds so I'm almost half way there!

I'm actually not having too much difficulty working with the point system. I am finding that I can eat quite a bit of food within my allotment, without using my flex points. Well, as long as I make a few minor adjustments! It also helps me if I have planned what we are having for dinner...or what I am eating wherever we are going. I can plan my breakfast and lunch better. I've been eating a lot of fruit. I need to kick up my vegetable consumption though!

I'm trying to be a whole lot more active. I am riding the exercise bike more, riding my 'regular' bike more and walking a whole lot more. I'm dragging Todd along for a lot of this also. So I can be happy and know that it is helping him also.

This process is so difficult for someone with no patience!

Weight Watchers

I desperately needed to do something. My weight has been sitting idle for some time. It is discouraging because I watch what I eat and don't see any change, which causes me to stop watching and therefore eat bad stuff, in bad quantities. So I up and did it. I went to a Weight Watchers meeting on Tuesday night and joined. I don't know if it is what I need. But I'm willing to give it a shot. I'm hoping kicks me into high gear and motivates me to actually stay true to the diet and not 'cheat'. So far it's a whole lot easier than I thought it would be. I'm actually not having any problems maintaining the point limit. I'm not tempted to really cheat either....as this is still new! We'll see how this goes! I'm hoping to at least start losing instead of sitting at a standstill on the weight thing!

We made it through a VERY HOT carnival sound job. It was 100 plus degrees outside (yes, literally.....with a 'feels like' temp of like 115...in the shade!) I felt bad for the fire company that was putting on the carnival.....the heat kept so many people away. I was talking to one of the guys and he was talking about how sparsly attended it was. But, it was hotter than hades to work and unload and reload and set up and all that stuff! Let me tell you ....if a person could lose weight
based on how much they sweated...I'd have lost a few pounds in sweat alone!
I changed my clothes (everything...underwear, socks and bra included)
three times....when i was sorting laundry this morning I pulled the clothes
out ofthe bag that they were in....DRENCHED with sweat. But, happily we drank and made it through ok. :-)

Mom and I (and Karla) are thinking about starting weight watchers together. I'm not sure. I have been watching the calories....maybe I need something a little more structured though. Something that watches the everything....all combined into the point value. So I'm really thinking seriously about doing it!