Weight Watchers Week Three

 I have successfully navigated three weeks of weight watchers and I'm still standing.  I'm also still in the game.   I haven't given up in defeat.  I'm still in the game. This week was hard though.  It was really difficult!

Weight Watcher Plans

When I joined this time I noticed that they had some options. Namely three options.   The first option was "Maintain".   I love that option.....but I"m not there yet.  So that was an easy option to rule out. The second option was the option called "Lose" .  This is the standard option that I am more familiar with.  It is the option that gives you your daily points but then also your weekly points that you can use for extra flexibility (And I quote them on the phrase extra flexibility).  You can also earn points by exercise. That was most similar to the plan that I used years back when I lost the weight.  The third option was the "All IN" option. This option is apparently a new choice and it  still has you counting your points, but there is no extra flexibility.  You do not get the weekly points and you do not earn points by so called good behavior (exercise...hahaha).  

For some unknown reason, I chose All-In.  (Maybe they recommended it, I can't remember.)   The first two weeks I followed that plan.  It focuses a lot on your protein and your fiber.  I struggled to even get close to the protein that they recommended, but I tried AND I worked to keep my points in line.  Admittedly, one or two days I was one point over, but I didn't stress about it.  I moved on and made the next day better.    At the beginning of last week I decided that it was a good week to adjust a bit and try out the 'Lose' option.  Because, why yes, you can switch plans at will.

Immediately after switching  I could see my weekly points balance.  It was NICE seeing that weekly points allowance.  I was no longer bumping against my daily limit, I had points left in my weeklies!  I was good as gold.  I never used a ton of the weeklies, but I was diving into them daily to take a handful. I was playing the game by the rules.  But the scales were not being kind to me.  I was showing that I was UP on the scales.  UP.  What in the world?  I was panicked.   I started to look more closely at my food.  The WW app allows you to see the calories, so I had added that for reference.  I quickly realized that the change and the struggle began almost the moment that I switched to the "lose plan".   I switched back, crossed my fingers and followed the 'all in' plan for the rest of the week.  And now I am trusting the All- In plan.

Why was the 'Lose' not working for me?  I think having all those 'weekly' free points really messed with my mind.  I was eating my daily points and seeing those weekly points gave me the 'freedom' to indulge just a bit more...and extra helping of food, a bite of this, a bite of that.    On top of that I was exercising and earning points so my daily points got higher (I could see the increase in my calories eaten).   As I was figuring this all out, I remember my first go-round with weight watchers.  Way back then, I couldn't eat my earned points OR my weeklies on any consistent basis.  I remember being in a meeting and talking about it and most of the other people were there talking about how they ate every stinkin' point that they had.  One girl actually told me 'I am sad for you because you can't."  But even then I never lost when I ate them. 

So all in is the perfect option for me.  (In fairness, I don't weight much of my food so I probably eat the weeklies with miscalculations in my portion sizes.) 

Temptations

This week was full of temptations.  We had not one but two clients bring us sweet treats.   Let me tell you, those cookies and sweet treats looked INCREDIBLE. One of my coworkers was having a bad day so a our other coworker came back from her lunch with a whoopie pie for each of us.  One of our clients owns a coffee and sweets shop and had just developed their online ordering app and they were ready to dive into having delivery and asked us to test it out.  You name it, it was pushed in front of me!   I won.   I didn't eat any of them!  I was tempted a few times to simply take one bite but I didn't do it!

Toward the end of my week I went to lunch at a fast food joint with my brother during my lunch break.  I had already switched back to the all-in plan.  I was determined to make it work, enjoy my lunch and time with my brother AND not ruin the progress.  I did it.  I made wiser options when I ordered and I adjusted my dinner to allow for my lunch.  I did it!

 Exercise

There isn't much to say about exercise.  I did it.  4 times in the last week!  Period. Done.  

 Weigh In

Halfway through the week I was stepping on the scale and I was showing a gain.   I was so upset!  But I changed my thinking and changed that plan and then sat back to trust the plan.   I was nervous the whole time because I soooo didn't want to show a gain for my official weight.   I had decided to change my weigh in day to Saturday (from Friday) which was totally unrelated to my gain....but nicely gave me an extra day to lose that weight.  That extra day helped, I am sure!

Somehow, I managed to grab a 2 pound loss!  Somehow.  Someway.  I have no clue how.   However, I am NOT looking a gift horse in the mouth and I am taking that 2 pounds and running with it!  That makes 9 pounds in three weeks.  I'll take it!  My little secret goal for the first few months is 10 pounds a month.  So I am totally on target for that for this month!  Go me!

Return to What Worked 

With my thoughts returning to the  first time I did WW and how I couldn't eat my earned points or weekly points.  I thought about one of the things that I did that worked for me   Each week, on the day that I weighed in, my last day of my WW week, I would have a splurge meal. I weighed in after work at an in person meeting and afterward, I had whatever my heart desired.    I had a dessert.  I had the high carb, loaded with butter, comfort meal.  And I did it every week.  I would leave my WW meeting and I would head right to the pizza joint to take home a large pizza....and I didn't eat just one piece.  I ate my HALF of the pizza.  Sometimes I would eat a banana split, or a big slab of cake.  It was my splurge.  The next morning I would wake up and my new WW week would start fresh and I would be right back on plan.  It worked for me.   I still tracked it, but I didn't worry about it.  

So I have decided to go back to this.  Saturday mornings I weigh.  Saturday evenings are my splurge meal.  Sunday mornings starts my new week, fresh and new.  I am still tracking it...but I'm not stressing about it.  And yes, my splurge this week was again a Mini Blizzard to go with my pizza.  :-)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I feel the need.......The need for Speed

I plowed right through week two of my re-entrance into the land of WW.  I have now completed two weeks of this plan and thus far I am going strong.   It hasn't been easy, but I'm doing it.

Weigh In with WW

So let me dive right into my weigh in for week two.  Week one I managed to lose 3.7.   I was worried about this week because I had volunteered to bring dinner and dessert to a girls night.  Dessert, really?   I was worried about it.  But I calculated it and planned for it.  I admittedly did lick the spoon when I was done mixing, but I held pretty firm.   The dinner I prepared was veggie pizza and I made a peanut butter pie for dessert. The dinner was cancelled at the last minute......so I took the goodies to work and let my co-workers enjoy.  The thing was,   I had already calculated and budgeted my day to allow for a piece of that peanut butter pie.  I wanted a piece of that pie.  So I had a piece and  I thoroughly enjoyed it!   I ignored it thereafter, even as I watched my coworkers eat it and rave about it!

Otherwise, the week was pretty standard.  I haven't been perfect with my eating, but I have been pretty darn close for sure!  I haven't commenced with the exercise yet.  I know that it's an excuse, but this week was just crazy!  First of all I had a sore butt.....OK it was the muscle that went form my butt cheek down the back of my leg.  How in the wold did I hurt my butt?  Well we went bowling.  I've got nothing else.....bowling!    Secondly, we had a gal quit at work.  That put us short staffed so I am back to shuffling between my job and covering for her....I came home tired each night!  But getting exercies restarted is definitely on my agenda and plans!

 So how did I do with my weigh in this week? This second week of WW, I lost 3.3 pounds.   HIP HIP HURRAY!   Two weeks of nice, solid and respectable losses!  I know that the losses will slow as I lose weight, but for now I am going to enjoy these 3 pound weeks!

Plans and Concerns for Week three of WW

My first challenge for week three will come this morning.  I am typing this early on Saturday morning.  I am scheduled to work this morning which is no biggie.  EXCEPT for the fact that I picked up a bad habit over the last few months.  On the Saturdays that I have worked, I 'treat myself' to breakfast out.  And by a breakfast out, I mean going through the drive through.   Decidedly unhealthy and high calorie/point options.   I am praying for strong willpower to resist the temptation!   It's a habit breaking day.  I can do this!  (Why oh why does it taste so good!)

The second challenge is the weekend meals.  Typically we do eat out more on the weekends and that includes getting a sweet treat.   Of late we had been picking up a Blizzard from Dairy Queen.  Not exactly a low points option.   Last weekend we had just gotten home and Jason said "Oh, we forgot to pick up our Blizzards"   I quickly replied, I didn't forget about it, I just chose to not remind you because I'm not getting one."     And that was the end of the conversation.   So I made it through last weekend. Who knows what this weekend will bring. I am not planning on being totally adverse to getting a sweet treat here and there.......but it will be a challenge because I don't want to wreck my points/calories either!

 I feel the Need....the Need for Speed

  I have lost 7 pounds in two weeks.  I should be incredibly happy! Yet I am not.   Ok, that came out wrong.  I am tickled with the 7 pounds.  However, I have to admit that I am dissatisfied with the fact that it is ONLY seven pounds.  ONLY.  I want this weight to be gone NOW.    I want to be thin and have this losing stuff behind me so I can be back in maintenance.   I want to lose it faster.  Why can't I lose 6 pounds a week?   Why can't I do this......  I want this process to be speedy.   Because yes, I feel the need for speed.

 

I know this need for speed is irrational.  That is not how weight loss happens.  Weight loss is a slow non- linear process.  But that doesn't stop me from wanting it!  It doesn't stop me from wishing for more.   

Luckily, I picked up on something the other week when I first wrote that I was joining WW.   I was reflecting on how I had originally lost the weight with WW.  I decided to go back to old posts and link to those momentous times such as when I first joined WW and then secondly when I made lifetime.   That was the purpose of going back, simply to link to the post.  However, I noticed something while I was doing it.  I noticed the dates of those two momentous occasions. 

 

I had been trying to lose weight on my own.  I would lose a bit and then stall out.  So I decided to join Weight watchers and wrote about it on August 10,2006  I would actually go on to lose about 80 pounds to get to goal.  I wrote and posted religiously throughout my whole journey with WW.  Some of those posts are incredibly boring and honestly painful to read as they are so bland. But I literally wrote almost every day. I didn't figure out the exact number of posts, but I can tell you it was over 500 posts.   But that is not what got me as I reviewed these posts.   What got me is the date of the post where I talked about making lifetime.  I wrote that post on August 5, 2008.  

 

Did you catch those dates?   August  10, 2006  to August 5,2008.    It literally took me 5 days shy of 2 years!    TWO FREAKIN' YEARS!  When I look back at the journey it feels as if it was only a few months of work. Yet it was two years. Two years to lose 80 pounds.   That is an average of .769 pounds a week. One of my greatest life accomplishments was losing that 80 pounds, and I did it with less than a pound a week. 

 

So while I find myself disappointed with  "ONLY" 3.3 pounds, I need to remember that 3.3 is a VERY respectable number.  If I somehow managed to lose 3 pounds a week I would be at goal in 33 weeks....literally by Christmas. So 'only' should not be a word that I use and I should NEVER be disappointed by any loss. And if I only lose .7 pounds a week, I can still reach my goal. 

 

And for the record I know that there will be weeks where I don't lose and I know that the 3 pounds will get harder to to achieve as I continue to lose weight and drop pounds.....my figure of 3 pounds a week is strictly for statistical knowledge only.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Food Noise

 

I joined WW a week ago and I have tried to get to some of the virtual meetings.  I am trying out some of the different leaders to see which ones I like (and it’s easier to judge a leader if they are presenting the same information).  Therefore, I have attended a few workshops this week.  The  topic for that first week was food noise.  Good subject for sure.  I have tons of food noise.  I plan my day around food.  I haven’t even put down my fork after a meal that totally fills me up and I am already thinking about when and what I will eat next time.  Even sitting here typing this, I have already thought about breakfast, lunch AND dinner for today (I started typing this at 7AM).   So, this topic was very near and dear to my heart. 

After attending a few ‘Weekly Workshops’ throughout the week, I decided to attend a “Deep Dive’ session.  I actually really liked this coach’s style and energy (Coach Marianne B) and the interaction was great.  She talked about three factors that affect the food noise.  Environment, stress and appetite.  She talked about how when you are hungry the food noise is incredibly intense.  And right then and there I had an epiphany about my food noise and my weight issues. 

 

I have always wondered what happened.  How did I come to live the life of an obese woman.  I was always more of a petite person as I was younger, not overweight, just healthy.  By younger I mean 10, 11, 12 or so.  I actually remember referring to one girl at school as fat in my description of her at home.  I actually came across a picture of her in my storage recently and I had it labelled as ‘Fat Joy’.  How shameful is that?   I am actually utterly embarrassed to admit this, but it is the truth.     I was one of the normal sized or even smaller people among my friends. 

And then something happened.   I started to gain……quickly.   Within a year or so I was overweight and then shortly afterward, obese.  All when I was right around 12-14 years old.

I have long wondered and pondered what in the world happened.

-        We moved from Pennsylvania to Florida right about that time.  Was it a culture shock?

-        That was the age that I was hitting puberty.  Was it hormonal?

-        I went from a carefree kid playing outside to a teenager more apt to be in my room lounging.  Was it just a result of change of lifestyle?

It’s been a big question in my mind for quite a few years.  It wasn’t until this week that I had an epiphany.

It was during that deep dive session about food noise that I knew.  I knew exactly what had caused my spiral or at least contribute (because I think those other factors played a role for sure).  It was a true light bulb moment……before we moved to Florida (before I had weight problems) I had plenty of friends and the cafeteria at school  was not crowded, one could actually find a place to sit and I had a group of friends to sit with. I ate lunch every day.   But then we moved.  I didn’t have friends…and I never made a lot while we were in Florida.

Lunchtime was utterly horrible at my new school.  First, try walking into a large room teeming with people you don’t know.  Then you get your tray and have to navigate through this throng of people between tables that are placed too closely together to try to fit as many people in as possibly.  Why are they so close?  We had moved to one of the fastest growing counties in the COUNTRY and the schools were way overcrowded, that included the cafeteria, where I had to find a place to sit.  Amongst strangers….other kids that didn’t want a newbie sitting with them, they were saving those precious and few places for their friends.  It was the most uncomfortable situation. I remember getting my tray, looking for a welcoming place to sit. Not finding any availability I remember dumping my tray full of food and walking out.   It was so uncomfortable that as an 8^th grader I choose to forego lunch.  It was less stressful to sit in the quad outside. If there wasn’t a bench available, it was acceptable and not awkward to sit on the ground up against one of the buildings, lots of people did it.  Even if I was alone, I could do homework or something in order to not look so pitiful.    I didn’t eat lunch.  

Don’t feel too bad, I wasn’t utterly friendless, but I never really had a lot.  I was friendly with everyone, but I just never clicked with anyone.   I was just too different, too foreign, too something.  And that’s ok. 

That trend continued into high school the following year.  The cafeteria was insane.  It was not a welcoming place.  It was worse though because high school gave us the option to go through the line and buy a snack.  This was important because a snack I could take outside to the quad where it wasn’t crowded and where I could melt into obscurity.  (Usually with one or two other people that were also just trying to survive.)  The snack of choice…. Little Debby Snack cakes, my new friend.  I didn’t do that every day because the cafeteria was still way overcrowded to even just walk through and honestly, I had figured out that the lunch money was more aptly used on my own pursuits (books and music).  

It is no surprise that I got home from school each day and hit the kitchen absolutely ravenous!  I started to make larger snacks.  A full box of Kraft mac-n-cheese.  A box of taco shells with melted cheese was actually quite delicious and/or apeanut butter and jelly sandwich always hit the spot.  Whatever I could scrounge from the pantry was fair game.  An hour or two later, dinner would be served and guess who ate a full meal then too?   Why yes, me!

That is exactly where my issues started.  I learned unhealthy habits.  The food noise in my head was intense by the time I got home and the food noise never faded.  Once I let it in, it took up residence and stayed firm in my head and that voice has remained there for all of these years.

I have no desire to take medications, even though they say the medications will silence the food noise.  I don’t want to be on a medication for the rest of my life and I know that when I stop taking the meds the food noise comes back (just look at what people say when then end up stopping the meds…. they regain).  I am still 100% committed to the holistic approach of learning to manage these food noise and my desires.   I ‘just’ need to learn how to silence that food noise voice.  Just for a laugh, I do refer to these voices as my mini me….and my mini me screams at me not just about food.  My mini me tells me that exercise is bad.  My mini me tells me that I am not worth it.  When I was running regularly, my mini me would tell me that I wasn’t a runner and I looked like an idiot. This little mini me is so insistent that once when I was running the mini me was telling me that I was a fool for thinking that I was a runner, that I looked ridiculous and so many other things that I was started crying, but didn’t stop running weirdly enough.  Finally, I had enough and I just yelled out loud “SHUT UP”.  (I am trying to find a post, because surely, I wrote about that!)

But yeah…food noise. 

Wow….I honestly cried like a baby as I wrote this.  This started as a simple epiphany, but turned into a soul releasing cry as I recounted these experiences and relived those emotions of stress.

As a side note: I look back and pity my poor mom because I annihilated the pantry on a daily basis, which had to have affected her meal plans.  I may have and probably did ask first for some of those larger ticket items like taco shells, I assume.   She never said a word though.  I know that she had suffered with excess weight all her life and I know that she had said that her mom had made comments which hurt her self-confidence and she never wanted me to feel fat or inferior.   Her silence raised a gal that didn’t care about her weight …. but it also didn’t stop a growing problem.   (It wasn’t until I accidentally started to lose weight when I got roped into a weight loss challenge  that I began to see and care that I was overweight, until then, I just liked me for me).

So that is the deep thoughts for this week.

I like my official weigh in days to be Friday, so my first ‘week’ on weight watchers was actually only 5 days (from Sunday to Friday morning).   I am happy to say that I lost 3.7 pounds. 

Not to keep that up!!!!!   Lets see what we can do on week two.  I know that I will have a bit of a cheat meal once, but otherwise, I’m ready to knock week two out of the park.

 Once again I pivot.  That should be the name of this site....the girl how is constantly pivoting.  

 

Arduous Eighty

I should have learned this lesson by now.  Seriously, how many times does it have to happen for me to learn!   Yet I just did it again and here I am having to come back and talk about my failure

I had a grand plan for my Arduous Eighty.  It was fantastic.  I had it laid out and I was loving it! Week one went swimmingly well!

 But as with any of my adventures, things got 'quiet' on here.  I stopped posting and didn't want to confront the truth.  And that truth being that I was failing absolutely miserably.   100% failure.   Well, maybe not 100% failure;  I at least maintained my weight.  But I didn't lose a pound.  I found the arduous eighty to be quite arduous.  So arduous that I failed.

Arduous Eighty has left the building.

Back to the Basics 

I may have failed on the Arduous Eighty but I never stopped thinking about the fact that I need to lose 100 pounds.  Yes, I have to lose 100 pounds (again) and I know it!  But what to do, nothing has been working.  It's honestly been the most disheartening feeling, I feel helpless.  I feel hopeless.  I feel disgusted with myself.

So I am going back to the basics.  

I just looked it up to find the link for when I first joined weight watchers.  First of all, I am super depressed, it was almost 20 years ago.  I have been fighting this weight for 20 plus years!  What in the world!  Secondly, the post is actually quite telling.  I was actually in a very similar position to where I am now. I was disheartened and looking for an answer.  I wasn't sure if it would be the fix, but I was willing to try.   In that instance, it worked splendidly and I lost a LOT of weight and actually made it to my goal weight and through maintaining to become a lifetime member. 

So yes, that is exactly what I am doing.  I am going back to weight watchers.  It worked for me in the past.  It's time to let it work for me again.  (At least try!)   So I signed up!

There are not many in person meetings near me....most of them are during the day, which is not conducive to those that actually have jobs where they work during the day (which is a high percent of the population).  Ironically, the closest one to me (about 25-30 miles) does have a Saturday morning meeting that I could make sometimes (I do work Saturdays on a rotating schedule).   With that in mind, I jumped right in and tried out a virtual meeting the first day, right after I joined.   I knew going in that it would be a meeting that I couldn't attend on a regular basis, but I wanted to get my feet wet.  This morning I went to a Sunday morning meeting at 6:30.  Not that I want to wake up early on Sundays, but I am typically awake well before 6:30 and can't remember a time that I wasn't home at that time.  So I'm going to give that a go for a bit to see how it works.

I am a bit concerned about the 'free foods' on weight watchers.  Back when I first did weight watchers there was no such thing as free food. (well there was the core plan....but I tried that one week and didn't like it).    Well actually yes, there were zero points foods....a few of them.....green beans, sourkraut, etc.....and I ate the dickens out of those foods.  But to have a full assortment of foods that are 'free' scares me.   Mainly because I am an addict.  One banana being free is awesome....but 8 bananas even though they are free may not be so awesome.  And yes, 8 bananas may sound silly even for me....but I recognize that I am an addict and reasoning doesn't apply to addicts in the midst of their addictive struggle.   But I am going to give the program a go and see what happens. (I may still have the books and such from the program that I followed.....maybe....and thus may be able to go back to that program version should I need to)

I haven't figured out the accountability aspect.  The weigh ins at the meetings were huge for me.  At least I feel as if it was a huge part of my success.  I'm not sure how it works online.....I saw a workshop that may address this, but of course it's a workshop in the middle of an afternoon when life will/may keep me from attending.  

Regardless,  hopefully this something new (but and old friend at the same time) will be the trick for me.   

 

 

Time to check in with my weight

 It was a really good week. I feel as if i was able to keep my eating under control.  I made wise choices.  I stayed within the caloric/point range that I set aside!  I did indulge in a sweet treat over the weekend, but the indulgence was the single night. Even better, when the weekend was over, I was only up by 1/2 pound!  That is a huge victory!  Typically, on weekends I am up about 2 pounds and then spend the weekdays trying to play catch up!

Healthy Habits

I am doing fabulous with the three main healthy habits that I am working on! 

I have been doing amazing with the tracking.  I am like a machine!  I have actually been taking my tracking to a new level.  I have my food tracker apps that I use. I have my garmin app.  I have this app and that app.  But I made a spreadsheet and I am putting all of my stats onto one spreadsheet.  It has been amazing to be able to see all the stats in one place....and see how they correlate and work together (or against each other!).   

I have also been doing great with my water intake.  I was a little worried because at the beginning of March I decided to start to do Intermittent fasting and to do it RIGHT.  That meant that my morning flavor packs had to go.  I was nervous, but switched to lemon in my water and it has been going great!  I typically get my 64 ounces completed by the end of my day and then switch to my flavored water (which contains my vitamin pack).   SO, with this said, I've not only managed to make an even switch....but I have also upped my water consumption from 64 ounces to 72 ounces per day!

Exercise has been rough.....simply because my leg is acting up. NOt sure what it is doing.  But I have been having pain behind my knee.  Some days it radiates down to my calf...and other days up my thigh.  I can pretty much trace the pain, so I think it is a nerve or a muscle.  Jason looked at the back of my leg and saw a lump and some swelling.  For that reason, I have lowered my intensity level on my exercise by quite a bit.  I have also tried to limit how many squats and lunges I do.  I'm here to build my body not to tear it down.   So, working through the pain and restrictions have been difficult.  But I have managed it!   I am going strong with my exercise!

Weigh IN

Last week I had a fabulous loss, and I was worried about pulling another fabulous weight loss for the second week in a row.  But I vowed to hold it together over the weekend and do everything right.  Live but manage wisely was my motto!  And I am so happy to say that I lost 2.6 pounds this week!  YAY

I am pushing foward.  I am more determined than ever!

Have my cake and eat it too

 I am still at it!  My absence did NOT mean that I have fallen off the bandwagon.  It did not mean that I have given up and started to shovel food into my mouth at some insane rate of speed!  Nope, my absence is simply that I have been busy!  I have continued to work my healthy living plan and I'm doing well!

Healthy Habits

I continue to work on the healthy habits. I feel like I am nailing them.  I have some slips to report, but overall, I feel as if I'm doing great!

 I am continuing to track all of my food.   I do great with this!  I am able to keep myself within my food budget most days.  I usually have one day on the weekend that is a bit higher, but I'm actually really cool with that!  I have always adhered to a 'cheat day' mentality.   Even though I hate the word cheat....I have a day where I kinda do what I want.  I don't worry about the calories or points.  I feel as if this is important for the longevity of this lifestyle.  I know for me saying that I will never again eat pizza or that I will never have cake again is utterly preposterous.  That is not sustainable.  I also know from experience that I can abstain and lost weight.  But when I lose the weight I will dive back into those unhealthy options and unhealthy habits face first.  So I am working to learn to have my cake and eat it too!  So I did have cake over the weekend.  I did have a day where my points were kinda high.  And that's ok!

I am continuing to work on getting at least 64 ounces of water each day.  I am pretty consistent with this now.   I don't have to give it 'too' much thought.  So it really is becoming a habit!  I am still flavoring my water.  I use a trace mineral vitamin packet in the morning.   I have been doing that since before Covid .   At first I was more sporadic but once covid hit, I became quite consistent with that.    I also use flavor packs for my water throughout the day.  Each packet flavors one bottle or 16 ounces of water.  I use one flavor packet to flavor a 32 ounce container of water.  SO not too bad.  I am working toward eliminiating that flavor packet and only have my morning vitamin packet.   In time.  Right now I"m just happy to be getting my 64 ounces of water even if it is flavored.   

There was one day where I did not get my water.  I got up to about 32 ounces of water and prepared my next 32 ounces of water. I was going to take it with me when I went to visit my mom.  I was about 30 minutes down the road when I realized that I had left it on the kitchen counter.  Ooops.  I didn't get home until about 8:00 or 8:30 and I was NOT going to chug 32 ounces of water before bed. (We go to bed early as the morning alarm goes off at 5AM and I"m usually up before that).  I dind't want to have to get up numerous times to go to the bathroom.  THat's annoying for me....and Jason who has his sleep interuppted when I get up out of bed.  It wakes up the bird...who needs sleep so he is not a jerk!   AND it stirs up the puppy who sleeps in a crate in our bedroom.   And when the puppy gets stirred it means a trip outside.....it's winter and cold!  So I readily gave up my perfect streak of water consumption.   The good thing?  I was right back at it the next day and I"ve not looked back and didn't let that one day mess me up!

Exercise has also been going really well!  I have been exercising consistently!  I have even added in some strength training!  GO me!   My steps have suffered a bit.  The first to weeks of the year I was doing GREAT with getting my goal of 8K steps a day.     A lot of that was procurred during my exercise time. (I do youtube videos......).   I was doing great!  BUT, I knew that I needed to work on some resistence training.  So i backed off on my cardio videos and added in some strength training videos.   The problem?  Strength training doesn't give me the steps.  I didn't hae the time to add the strength training in on top of the cardio.  So I opted to back off on that goal and be more well rounded in my workouts!  

So the healthy habits are going really well!

Puppy life

The puppy is doing well.  She is so cute!  It's cold outside though!  It's miserable to take her out sometimes.  We didn't think through the fact that we don't have a fenced in yard!  So we have to be out with her!   She has bad separation anxiety anyway!  So even when we try to put her on the lead and go inside and watch from the warmth, she just comes to the door and cries.  Yeah, breaks our hearts also!  So outside we go in the cold. (and rain on a few occasions). 

Axe Boy

Jason is still not back to work.  His foot is slowly healing and at his last appointment the doctor was surprised that there seems to be more function than he originally thought Jason was going to get.  This leads him to believe that the tendon was possibly NOT cut the whole way through OR that it was cut but somehow the ends have fused together on their own.  (The MRI was inconclusive.....it looked as if it was severed but it was not a 100% certainty.)  So the doctor wanted Jason off for 6 more weeks.  (he still is in PT to get more function to be able to actually do his job).  He goes back to the doctor on Feb 13.   His being home is nice.  I like having him in the house while I"m working and spending my breaks with him.  It is also perfect timing to get a puppy since he has time to work with the puppy.  It's not perfect timing financially as we just bought a house.   At least Jason can drive now himself.  The first two months or so were rough as he couldn't drive and I was waiting on him hand and foot as he was supposed to be off the foot 100%.

Weigh in

I have been weighing myself on Fridays.   Surprisingly, I have been staying away from the scale most other days. FOr me this is weird because I have always been a daily weigh person.  And some days it drives me crazy because I am in a state of panic about what my weight is doing.  (I don't torture myself; I just go and weigh myself that day for a check). This past Friday I weighed myself and I was down more!  I have lost 7 pounds since the beginning of this year!     I have the momentum and I am determined!

The days are just flying by!  I blink and it's the next day.    I am still trying to do it all and juggle everything.  Some days I feel as if I'm failing miserably and some days, I feel like I've got this thing called life licked.  I'm trying to not let life get to me.  I'm trying to not get overwhelmed.  I'm just trying to take one day at a time!!!

A Year for the Record Books

​I’m telling you, this year is the year that is just not letting up!  It’s been one thing after the other!  Some good others bad!  It’s been nuts!

The first part of the year was swallowed up whole as we hunted for and bought a house. 

We settled on our house and then commenced the never ending move that stretched almost two complete months. We finished the move, drove back to the apartment (an hour and fifteen minutes away from our house) grabbed the last and turned in our key…and smiled because life would slow down then!  And quite literally my mom had a stroke the next day.    The madness of life continued as I tried to continue taking care of the house, the yard, put in my  time at work and make trips to see mom.  (I’m about 35 minutes away so any visit starts with an hour of travel time.  

Summer flew by like crazy as I ran around like a chicken with my head cut off.   I literally fell into the habit of cleaning the house at 6am…why?  Because that is when I could carve out a few minutes to do it.  I can clean the toilets and the bathroom sinks on my 15 minute breaks from work….which is what I do. I prep foods for dinner during my lunch break so that I can clear up an evening to go see mom after work.   I literally run around trying to make the most of every minute.  (Jason works a 9-1 hour day and has a 1 hour commute each way…..so his time is just as limited.).  I kept my head above the water…even though it felt like it was just barely.  

My weight maintained but only because I remained so busy.

I started Weight Watchers at the beginning of September and and had some success as I lost almost 10 pounds in that first month.  I was tickled too because I was super stressed due to some fear about the longevity of my job.  The end of August and most of September also marked a nice vicious case of poison.  All over my arms, legs and torso.  I pushed through with over the counter medication, but did not have a fun 3-4 weeks.  Things started to turn at the end of September.  The poison cleared up for the last week of the month.  Even better, at the very end of September I found out that my job was secure.  The timing for both of those things was perfect as  we had the first week off for vacation and to celebrate our anniversary. 

Our vacation was a staycation.  We decided to do a few little things local but to stay at home and work on the shed.   The shed on our property needed some love.  The leanto portion on the back was ready to cave in.  So we spent the week clearing the brush around the shed,  tearing that down (the leanto is 20x10), burning everything in the fire pit (one piece at a time) and starting the rebuild process.   I actually managed to maintain my weight over our vacation week. That is all thanks to being so active because I was ravenous the whole time!   

 On the third day of our vacation, I woke up and felt some itchiness…yes, I had managed to attract poison AGAIN.  (This was actually before we cleared the brush…so go figure).   The poison kept getting worse.  So bad that I ended up in the Urgent Care on the first day back to work after vacation.  They gave me steroids and sent me on my way.   

Steroids…well you know what that did to my weight!   Seeing it pop up did something to my mental capacity and will power and I began to struggle with tracking my food.    Oh, and the worst part of it?  The steroids did NOTHING for the poison and rashes!  Oh my word, the poison was so horrible!  What I thought was a bad case in September was nothing compared to this!  My complete torso was covered…my legs..arms, neck and even patches on my face.  My torso and thighs were the worst and I maintained this fire engine red color for weeks.  It wasn’t just itchy…it was painful.  Horrible!   Finally about the third to fourth week of October the bright red and terrible pain and itch had passed leavening me with dry scales skin.   I am still dealing with that and with bouts of itchiness.   What a month!

At the end of October they started to talk about sending mom home from Rehab.  She is super excited.  My brother and I not as much.  She is NOT ready to live on her own and we know it.  Ratchet up the stress another notch.

And then on October 27th, I went to visit mom after work.  I drove home and got home after dark.   I pulled in and saw Jason at the chopping block splitting down some firewood.  All was completely normal as I got out of the car.  I turned to head into the house and Jason had already gone inside.  I walked into the kitchen and noticed Jason bent over, but I was rushing to get dinner on the stove and in the oven since it was so late.  I greeted Jason and his words weee ‘I just cut myself’.  I asked if it was bad, still not shifting my focus from the stove and my dinner plans.    ‘Yes, really bad, I need to go to an urgent care’. I turned, shocked because he avoids doctors at all costs! That is when actually took stock of my kitchen…aka the crime scene.  Yeah, the axe slipped…went through his shoe…through his sock and right into his foot.  I grabbed a clean towel for him (he was using his sock to try to staunch the blood) and we headed out to urgent care.   Just as a side note…if you arrive with a foot wrapped in a blood soaked towel, they hustle you right back to a room.  The doctor wakes in soon thereafter and took one look at his foot and said ‘yeah, you most likely severed a tendon’ and sent us to the ER.  (They wrapped the foot …so that he was not leaking blood everywhere…which was nice of them, but slowed down our care in the ER as he was at that point not a bleeding priority).   X-rays and a phone consult with a podiatrist as they were also not sure of the status of his tendons.  We got home super late and I scrubbed the kitchen floor at 2AM and then went to bed.  I was up at 4:30 and out the door early for some other things concerning mom’s discharge…but made it back home in time to take Jason to his appointment with the specialist.  The specialist ordered an MRI because the tendon damage possibility could still not be determined.  Well on Monday we had the MRI and got the results.  He severed one tendon and nicked a second tendon.  Surgery or no surgery.  It’s possible they will heal on their own.  But possible that he needs surgery.  It’s up in the air and I believe we are going to try the least invasive, no surgery option.   At the worst, he will need surgery eventually.  At the best…it heals on its own.    So he is supposed to be no. Weight bearing for the next couple weeks…then a restrictive boot for a few more weeks.     Yes, I’m stressed to the max!

Ohhh and he can’t work…his employer is a small business with only a handful of employees…there is no short term disability.  We are now (and for the unforseeable future) a one paycheck family.    I’m trying to remain calm.  But it’s difficult.

So life is crazy.  So very crazy.  My eating has been steady…but not great.    My emotions are in an uproar as I feel like I am failing at everything I do.  Trying to do it all and falling short at everything.   Last night I sat on the couch trying to occupy my mind and I had a thought.  It was a thought that I had held onto tightly during the end of my marriage.   And that thought and mantra was ‘I can not control much of what is happening in my life and surroundings.  But I CAN control what food I put into my mouth’.  (For the most part…at 1AM leaving the ER having not eating in 14 hours…there wasn’t many options for where to pick up dinner…but I still had control over what I ordered.).    

  So if my food is the only thing I can control….control it!!!    This, this morning I pulled out my WW app and I have entered my food into the tracker.  I’m going to revel in the control I can have!!!

Revealing a Wee little Secret

​When I wrote my last post, I talked about my colossal failure at the diet bet.  I talked a bit about the desire to lose weight but the struggle.  I didn’t talk about the good in my life. I also didn’t reveal a wee little secret.  Sufficient time as passed and it’s time to reveal.

So what has been happening in life?  Life has been flying at an insane pace for us for months on end. Searching for a house, buying a house, moving and settling in, mom’s stroke, mowing….mowing some more…and then mowing some more.  (Yes we are still push mowing….I still haven’t heard anything about my job and this we haven’t purchased a riding mower yet.   The end date for my team was supposed to be September 26th, but they pushed the date until October 14th.  So more waiting as they decide if they are going to move me to another team or lay me off. All my coworkers and even my manager have told me that my job should be safe due to my work ethics, productivity, etc…but still…that’s all speculation.) 

In late August I put my foot down and decided that we needed to start eking out a bit of time for us.  A bit of exploration.  A bit of entertainment.  A bit of something fun.   So in August, on Jason’s birthday weekend we took a day and went northwest to Old Bedford Village.  This is a living history village. History is always a win!

A week or two later we visited the Conococheague Insitute.  This is hands on, living history museum. Another history win!  And seriously, how many of us can say that they have literally stomped grapes?   I can..now!

We have also been getting out more and doing some geocaching.  That takes us to parks, historical locations and all around.  

Getting out and doing something fun and relaxing has really helped that ‘depression’ that I have been dealing with.

So I’m my last post I talked about how I had a colossal failure.  I was referring to my failed attempt to do a diet bet.  I had been talking to some coworkers and the need/desire to lose weight came up in the conversation.  One coworker talked about a diet bet and I jumped on the bandwagon.  Another coworker and I talked about the requirement of our insurance to either go through weight loss coaching or join weight watchers in order to get a lower price for health insurance due to our ‘undesirable weight’. I had mentioned to her that weight watchers had worked for me in the past and I may try it again.  In reality, weight watchers had worked really well the first time I tried it, with me reaching my goals and lifetime status.   I also had joined weight watchers right before covid shut the world down and I had been lstarting to see some success.  But when things went belly up I stopped the weight watchers.  I told this all to my coworker and then nothing else was said about it.  That is, nothing was said until the last day of August when she thanked me for that conversation.   She had been inspired to join weight watchers after that conversation 6 weeks earlier and she had lost 17 pounds already.  I was so happy for her.  Yet saddened for myself.  She had acted upon the conversation.  I had not (or rather I went with some untried method instead of going toward what had previously worked for me).   She had lost 17 pounds and I was sitting at the exact same weight.  (And our starting weights were almost exactly the same).  I was sad and frustrated with myself. But I didn’t dwell.  I joined weight watchers on my very next break from work.    I started immediately even though the weekend was dawning and weekends are difficult for me.  I started immediately even though I knew it would be extra difficult due to the upcoming long Labor Day weekend.  I started on the first of September.  I decided to do it secretly and tell no one (other than that one coworker). Thus, in my last post on here;  I just talked about my failure with the diet bet and not the new hope of weight watchers.  I needed to start it privately.   I have been so vocal about my weight loss efforts and failures on here…and in my YouTube channel (even though I haven’t posted there recently).  But I knew in my heart that I needed a private start before announcing it to the world.   I needed to do it without the pressure of anyone that reads this knowing.   Seriously, I told no one other than my coworker!  I didn’t even tell my husband.  I just quietly joined and started tracking and exercising.  I told him last weekend and I was also able to tell him that I was 5 pounds down.   And now it’s time to tell you.    So here it is… ‘I joined weight watchers and in the first two weeks I have lost 7.8 pounds’!!!

So how is that for a secret???? 

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