I gained a pound!!!!

I gained a pound overnight!

I had a pretty good week.   Not stellar but pretty good. I held steady on Friday and Saturday with my edict of only one sweet treat for the week.  I was doing great!  But then came Sunday.   I indulged at a family event and then that evening I was stressed and ate another sweet treat.  So I totally messed up on Sunday!

Luckily my weight only went up one pound!  So the damage was minimal!  I worked all week long staying on target and worked to get that pound off.  By Wednesday it was starting to drop!   I was hopeful for a loss!

Thursday morning I weighed in and it was looking promising!  A maintain/small loss!    But I had one more day...I was going to do it!!  I knew I could!

Now let me stop and say that I weigh every morning religiously.  I strip my clothes...turn on the shower water to let it get warm....step on the scales...get in the shower!  It’s a routine.  So occasionally when I shower in the evening I just follow that habit without thought. (Although I don’t like to weigh more than once a day...once is enough.). Last night was one of those days where I just stepped on without thinking.  I was so excited!  The scales showed me down 1.5 pounds!  Yes!   1.5 pounds down!   I was so excited!

So I stepped on those scales with confidence this morning!  I was going to slay those scales!   I was the ruler!  I was........

I officially lost a half of a pound (technically 0.4).   Where did that pound go?  Last night it was 1.4!   Ohhhh those scales are so fickle!!!!

So even though I apparently ‘gained’ a pound overnight....(yes I know it is normal fluctuations throughout the day and that’s why I don’t weigh more than once a day usually)   I still lost!  It wasn’t exactly what I wanted to lose...but a loss is a loss!!!!!!!

Monthly Recap

We have closed the books on February!   Another month in the year 2021 done.   I know it’s only been two months into this year but wow...it’s flying by!!!

So with a new month brings a bit of reflection of previous months.  So how did I do with my goals for February?

Financial Goals

I have a goal for the year.  I have a large amount of money that I would like to have in my savings account by the end of the year.  I have broken that down to a certain dollar amount that I need each month.  I am not going into details of exactly what I am saving or how much...that is not the goal to tell people my personal finances.  But....I have that goal of what I need and I met that goal!   In fact I smashed that goal and saved a few hundred dollars more than I needed!   I am on target to meet that financial goal well before the end of the year!   Can I double that goal?   Hmmm. I’m going to do my best!

2021 miles goal

My challenge to propel myself 2021 miles in the year 2021 is going well also!   I needed 168.48 miles for the month of February.  I had to up my daily miles a bit due to the fact that February was a shorter month.  But I made my goal.  I made my goal with room to spare!  I actually got 55.26 miles more than I needed!  I am doing great!  I have been consistent with my miles and I am quite proud of myself!!!

Lose weight

I set a challenge to be at or under 200 pounds by the end of this year.  That equaled to be roughly 1 pound a week, with about 6 weeks extra to account for no loss week.   I didn’t do great in January and just posted a small loss for the month and February was not much better.  I lost 1.6 pounds for the month.   I am not knocking it...it is a loss!  It could have been a gain.  So I am happy.  But I am so going to have to pick up the pace with my losing because I have now used up all my freebies.  I am down to the wire.  I have to lose 1 pound a week from here on out to meet my goal!   It’s time to get serious and take no prisoners!

I am aiming for the same goals for the month of March.  My goals this year will remain the same as I am working toward large goals.  But that’s ok.  It helps me build consistency!    

March is going to be fantastic!!   I can smash all my goals! I know I can!

The mind tricks

For the past week my mind has been playing some nasty tricks on me.   Ironically not in the arena of weight loss...but for life in general.  But I guess that affects everything...even that weight loss effort!

I have been looking deeply at where I am in life.  No, not in my relationship.  I couldn’t be happier with Jason!  I am more in love each day and couldn’t be happier to be engaged and thinking about a wedding.  No, I am talking about my professional and financial life.

What do I want put of life?   I know my current job isn’t my life passion.  But what is?

What is my mission in life?  What are my passions?  What are my likes...my desires?  I’ve been diving deep.    And somehow I have come up blank!  Sure I have some things I like.  I like to read.  I like my dollhouses.  But I dabble with those things.  The question is, what do I want to do with my life?   

Is this a mid life crisis??  I am 48 you know!

Passions....the only thing I came up with for myself is that I spend a lot of time focusing on weight loss.  Not successfully so it seems a lot of the time (although I don’t weigh 330 pounds anymore and while I am not at my goal weight, I’m no where close to that so I guess it is somewhat successful).   Weight loss....really?    I don’t even know if it’s a passion or just that it has been the sole focus of my life for so many years and that has maybe squeezed out everything else.

What in the world?  How do I even know what direction to turn?   I just feel totally discombobulated and lost!

As for weight loss????   I am holding on...by the skin of my teeth it appears this week. My bike riding on the exercise bike to get my mandatory miles continues without fail.   We continue our evening walks.  I even got in a lunch walk in this week.  

While I did manage to avoid the deluge of sweet treats over the weekend, I immediately got hit with the monthly scourge.   And that skewed my weight for the week.   I was slowly recovering and it was looking like a maintain for me!  And then last night I ate a super high sodium dinner.  Yup.  I knew it was not going to be good when I woke up and laid in bed.   I could see the signs!   And so I ended up with a gain this week. A gain of exactly one pound!

I’m not out for the count with my weight loss....I’m just regrouping...drinking lots of water and planning another one sweet treat weekend!!!

I will continue to ponder the direction of my life....and my passions. There had to be an answer out there for me!!!!

Weight loss is like a Bank Account

 More inspiration to stay focused on this weight loss journey!!!!

   

Ending the cycle

So..... did I break the cycle that I wrote about on Friday?  

On Friday I wrote about my vicious cycle that I have been struggling with.  I wrote about how my weeeknda were a huge struggle.  We naturally tend to eat more junk food and with that junk food comes a tendency to have a sweet treat each night.  And some nights a LOT of sweet treats.  Seriously a few weeks ago I ate two crepe filled donuts as dessert and that was after a full dinner!  Two!  (They were delicious!).  The weekends would make my weight pop up o the scales....and then I would need to play catch up.  Through the work week I would be eating ‘perfectly in an effort to lose the weight I gained in a desperate attempt to not show a gain!  Sometimes I was lucky and even showed a slight loss.  But I wasn’t always lucky.   I knew (know) that I can’t continue that cycle!  So on Friday I made that vow to break the cycle!

I am not aiming for perfection.  So I decided that I could resist a sweet treats...mostly.   I would allow myself ONE sweet treat!  Not one night of sweet treats (which would allow me to have two or three donuts. Or a half gallon of ice cream). One serving would be allowed over the whole weekend!   That allowed  me to have something I enjoy but in a severely limited and managed manner.   A good balance between living my life happily but in a healthy manner.  (In other words, a sustainable balance.)

All day long of Friday I stressed about this limitation.   Should I get dessert on Friday night when we ordered our dinner?  It would be tasty.   I would enjoy it for sure.  But what if we had a better option for desserts on Saturday...or Sunday?  Then I would be faced with a monumental choice of trying to resist when something better came along.  But what if I turned down dessert on Friday and then Saturday and Sunday rolled along and no delicious dessert came my way?   Then I would have lost that delicious dessert and I would be high and dry with no sweet treat!  (The tragedy!) 

You may laugh, but I pondered this decision all day long on Friday!

Luckily the decision was made easier for me.   We ordered form a place that didn’t usually tempt us with desserts and I was tired and felt no desire to make anything.  On Saturday I resisted the Reece’s cups at the store while grocery shopping ...I was saving myself for something awesome. (And I was tempted with the Reece’s Cups thin!)  Mid afternoon went to a farmers market and picked up donuts.   I ordered ONE and I will be the first to admit that I savored that donut!  It was delicious.   When Sunday rolled around, surprisingly I wasn’t tempted to grab anything.  

I did it!  I limited my sweet treats and I did great.  Now I will be clear and say that I did ‘indulge’ in a banana with a bit of chocolate syrup. But I’m not even going to count a banana and a bit of chocolate as a sweet treat!  It’s a healthy snack!

So my weight. How do my daily weigh ins look?   Grrrrrr! 

I was so excited to step on the scale this morning.  I wanted to see the number because there was no way that my weight popped up!   It had stayed steady through Saturday morning and Sunday morning weigh ins...I just needed a good weigh in on Monday to carry myself through the weekend and break that cycle.  

Three pounds UP!   Exactly three pounds!   Yes..  three pounds.   You see...the monthly scourge (my female cycle) decided to visit...a week and a half early might I add.     I have long known that my weight pops by 2-3 pounds with that.  But seriously....why!  I wanted to see the success!!!!

Water water water...that is the plan for today (not only the hormonal water weight...I know I didn’t drink enough water this weekend).   If I stay the course this weight gain should disappear!!!!!!

Go away

I’m done with winter!   Thank you, but I’ve had enough!   It’s time to move on to better things...like spring!!!

We had more winter weather this week.   I’m over it!  I want balmy weather!  I want bike ride weather!  I want to put my hat and gloves away!

Ok I’m done complaining!   (Maybe).  I am blessed to be working from home this winter!   I haven’t had to stress and worry about getting to and from work in these storms.  It’s been totally stress free for me.  (Well mostly....I still worry about Jason!). 

We have been just continuing onward.  Work during the day and relax during the night.  We enjoy our evenings and our time together...with our pets.  :-)

My eating has been spotty.  I am teetering on the edge of collapse.   Meaning I’m not being horrible but I’m barely doing enough to maintain....if there is any loss it is minimal...and most likely to be regained.  I have not been totally serious about this journey.  I’ve been trying to have my cake and eat it too...pun intended!!

The sweet treats on the weekend get me every time!   One night turns into two which turns into three!   And the the damage is done so all of my work week is trying to play catch up for my weekend indulgences!  It’s not working!!!

I’ve got to stop the cycle!   But even as I type that, I struggle because the weekend is upon me...what dessert!  Should I have my dessert tonight and then just hope and pray for willpower the rest of the weekend?  Should I resist tonight and then take the chance that I won’t get something delicious the other nights?   Yes these are serious decisions  and worries for me!!!

And yes....that is a good addicts brain talking!   

How does one beat that mentality?  I just wish it would go away...just like winter...disappear into oblivion!

One Pound at a Time

 Today's mid week inspiration is the reminder that this journey is not insurmountable.  It is quite attainable...we just have to do it one pound at a time!!!!

Playing catch up

I was totally shocked at my official weigh in.  How in the world did I manage a loss?   The stress got me.   The weekend desserts got me.  It was just not a good week!

Let’s start with the good.   I got my miles in for my 2021 mile challenge for the year.  I am unfailing with that.   Determined to complete this goal and prove to myself that I can do it!  I try not to think about the long term aspect of this goal.  I try to not dwell on the amount of miles that I have yet to complete.  I am laser focused on each individual day...get the minimum 6 miles...don’t worry about anything other than the days miles.   I have been consistent with getting my miles on the exercise bike and then we usually walk after work so that nets me another mile or two.  I also made a slight change in my calculations. The official rules of the challenge is that you can’t count your daily every day steps...only specific workouts.  I followed that for the first two weeks.  But then I realized that it was not really pushing me to add steps to my life.  My step count was still barely reaching 5k each day.  So I made a little equation.  Through studying previous days, I know how much a sedentary day (no after work walk and just a lot of relaxing) gives me in steps.  So I decided to take my daily steps...and I subtract that ‘sedentary number’.  The number of steps I have left is what I count.   I have been happy to see that while I used to struggle to reach that 5k mark, I find myself consistently over 5K.  Nothing changed in my life...I am just trying to move more.  For example, I fold clothes and instead of folding all the pants and placing them in a stack on the bed before putting them away, I fold a pair of jeans and then walk them to the dresser.  I walk back to the bed and fold another pair of pants and walk them to the dresser and then back.   I do the same with clothes that go into the closet.  On trip for each item.  It seems small but it does add up.  

So I’m doing well with that.

My eating.  I am struggling with breaking the weekend cycle.  I eat sweet treats on the weekend....and pop up on the scales.  I spend the weekdays trying to be good...and I can usually negate the weekend gain.  But barely.   I vow to keep it in line...but then I cave and have too many sweet treats.   And this the cycle begins again.   

I have such good intentions...but wow.  I am spineless!

So that is what happened last week.  I weighed in on Friday...and I lost 0.8 pounds.   I was determined to come through the weekend without a gain.   But then...boom.   It happened.  So here I go again...playing catch up.  It’s getting old.  And the only thing I can say is it so my shame because I know this issue is mine!!!

So here is to a work week of ‘catch up’!!!

Stress and more stress

These last to weeks have been fraught with stress. I have been trying to keep a lid on the stress and continue my journey to a healthier me.   I know that journey is so important!   But that urge to eat me stress away has been simmering the whole time.

Work is insanity!   The changes tgg he at were made at the beginning of the month were rough.   The preparation for the changes were not sufficient at all!  Not one coworker that I have talked to is feeling ok about it!   The most unflappable people are talking about the stress and tension!  Added to that is the fact that the work load increased but the work force decreased again is not helping!

I try to remind myself daily hourly that I need to be thankful that I have a job!!!

Then in monday mom fell again!  This is the third fall in a little over three months.  The first two were bad enough but didn’t cause any serious physical injuries.  But this third fall has been tough with injuries that are making it difficult for her to function.  I have been stressed and worried  to no end.  These falls have to stop because I fear what the next fall may bring!

So you can see..,.stress galore.   I know it’s an excuse...but I fear my weight on results due to the stress.  I fear that the stress and the stress eating will affect my efforts and if nothing else about my mom’s situation is good.....her lack physical fitness should be pushing me to lose this weight once and for all....and get fit!  

The good thing in all this?  I have not missed even one day of my time on the exercise bike!!!!

Be Strong!!

 Just a little mid week pick me up and inspiration!!!

There are so many excuses about why we can't get fit, why we can't exercise, why we can't lose weight.  I'm not here to say that they are NOT valid....but they are just that.  Excuses.   If you want something bad enough, you will make it happen and there will be no such thing as an excuse!!!!

Recovery

 So I was honest last week and admitted that I gained weight.  I actually admitted that I gained 3 pounds!!!  ! I wasn't happy about it but I vowed to change it!   I swore up and down to myself that I was going to get this under control and take care of it so that I wouldn't gain any more and so that I could recoup my gain.  It's time for the weekly weigh in.....did I do it?

Let me start and talk about this week.  This was immensely tiring and stressful! We had a big change at work that was a bit.....well lets just say it was a bit rocky.  I will admit to shedding a few tears.   And I know some of my coworkers have admitted to it also.  It has caused stress galore...and tension headaches!  And on Monday, it caused some stress eating!

I wasn't happy with myself though.  So by Tuesday I had cleaned up my act and I was back to eating healthier!  That was awesome and I was happy to turn it around!  Even better?  I can honestly say that I NEVER missed a day of my miles for my 2021 challenge!  So that is a good thing!  

It was just a week!  Finally by Thursday, I experienced one of those days where I went to the bathroom CONSTANTLY!  I hoped that my body was getting rid of water weight in time for my weigh in!  BUt I was still nervous to step on the scales!!!

But let me stop babbling and give you the numbers!

I lost 1.4 pounds!  I didn't recoup what I gained!  But I had a significant loss and for that I am super thrilled!!!   This puts me at 85.6 pounds down from my highest weight!  GO me!  I'm about halfway there!!!

I am watching my food intake closely as I head into the new weight week!  I'm going to rock out this week!!!!!!

Get busy living

 I love love love the movie Shawshank Redemption.  It is just a really good movie.  But in particular there is one line that really resonates with me.

Get busy Living or Get busy Dying.  Every time I say it I can hear Morgan Freemans deep voice saying it.  But in actuality, the quote is said a few times in the movie.....because it's that important!  And I've written about this in the past...way back in 2009....but it's so good I want to repeat it!!!

In a weight loss journey this is particularly true.  Because you see, I have a choice. One choice really.  I can take the steps to control my weight and be healthy  or I can ignore it and eat myself silly while laying on the couch with no exercise or activity!  One choice.  But that one choice has SOOO many ramifications!

I can get busy living....making my life one that is really living. Eating healthy, moving more, being active and living my life to the fullest!   Or I can continue to eat poorly and exercise little and allow my health to continue to erode until I am in a place that I can't recover from......a place that will bring death.  Because you see, ignoring my weight issues and my inactivity is hastening my death.  Sure, that sounds way over the top melodramatic. But lets look at the leading causes of death.  Obesity is a contributing factor to each one of those ways to die.  Those diseases are caused or at least exacerbated by excess weight!   

SO you see, get busy living or get busy dying really does pertain to that single choice we have.  We can eat healthy and get active and get busy living.   Or we can continue to eat junk food and allow our weight to skyrocket and not get any exercise and in essence we are going to at that point be 'get busy dying'.  We have a choice.. I want to live.  I want to live the best life possible and that life I want is NOT plagued with health conditions that I have control of!

Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying.  It's your choice!!!

Hello February

February....you are more than welcome to come into my life! I am ready to say goodby to January!   No, January wasn’t that horrible, but I don’t like cold!  So while I don’t want to wish my life away, I’m already dreaming about balmy spring days...so bring on February because that will herald in March...and warmer weather!  

Sooooo. Let’s talk about some goals!

I have three main goals for the year 2021.  I want to build my savings account by a specific dollar amount. ($5000)  I want to propel myself 2021 miles in the year via biking, walking, running, etc.   Last but not least I want to lose weight and be at or under 200 pounds  (Roughly 47 pounds to lose this year.)

For my monthly goals I have simply taken those three goals and divided them by 12 to get my monthly goals.  These goals are big and I was getting really panicked within the first days of the year as I looked at the sheer numbers of what I needed to accomplish.  So by turning them down into the monthly goals it tricks my mind by making the goal more doable and attainable!

So the goals for each month....

1.  Ride/walk 168.42 miles 

2.  Lose 4 pounds (one pound a week)

3.  Save $415

I smashed my first goal of mileage!  I got my required miles and I banked an extra 56 miles!   Why yes I did!!!   I call this a huge NSV!   I honestly half expected myself to quit after a week or two.  I think for me the biggest thing was that helped me is that I stopped thinking of exercise as optional.  I made my miles mandatory...as mandatory as brushing my teeth and taking a shower is for me!  

My second goal was to lose weight....specifically 1 pound a week.   I was killing this goal during the first weeks of the month!  I kid you not!   At the beginning of the last week I looked at the figures and I was so excited because I realized that I could pretty much maintain and all would be ok....I would still be well above my minimum needed to call this goal completed!   I could even gain a bit and I would still attain my monthly goal!   But I had a huge gain that last week!   So I ended the month at 1.2 pounds gone.   So I did not reach this goal for the month.  I know I know...it’s a loss overall.  And for that I’m happy.

Third...savings.....I nailed this goal easy!   No problem!  Money in the bank...and I even out above and beyond the minimum needed into my savings account!!!

The goals remain the same for the month of February! I have big goals for the year and I am going to chip away at them one month at a time!    For the miles and my savings I am on track and actually even ahead of schedule for my year goals.  (And I want to keep it that way and keep building that cushion).   For the weight I had a few pounds extra  built in as I had 48 pounds or so to lose and there are 52 weeks in the year.   But I have blown some of that cushion this past month.   No worries.  I can still accomplish my big goal. But wait, I’m not looking at the big picture....only 4 pounds needed this upcoming  month!

Well if that isn't ducky

 I had a fabulous week!  It was absolutely spectacular!!   I mean, it could have been better in some regards...but by the book and by the numbers it was pretty good!

I continue to rock out the mileage!   I rode every day of the week and didn't let up, even after I knew that I had reached the miles that I needed for the month of January, I kept pedaling!  I did not let up!  My exercise has become something that 'just has to be done' each day.  It's kinda like brushing my teeth....it has to be done.  I don't try to talk myself out of brushing my teeth so why would I do so with my exercise!  And whatever I'm doing...it's working!  I have exercised and gotten my mileage each and every day this month!

Food.....well  I kept my calories at an somewhat even keel!   Ok ok ok, there was one day where I was up around 2000 calories...but my average for the week was 1550 for each day.  That is a theoretical LOSS.  HOwever we know that my body doesn't work that way!  Soooooo....I gained!  I gained 3.2 pounds!

Yes, I am incredibly frustrated to gain 3.2 pounds.  That wipes out most of my progress in the month of January!  It is infuriating!  

These are not excuses....but possible causes and factors in my demise this week. (Ok, that was a bit melodramatic....it's not a demise...it is just a bump in the road.).  So anyway....these extenuating facts......

 Factor number 1, the monthly ick!  Need I say more?  I have long known that I can sometimes gain up to 2-3 pounds from that joyful event.  

Factor number 2, we are going through a huge change up at work...as in a huge change up in the system that I operate each and every day.  THis week was the last week of training....the swap of information from our current system to the new system will happen this week and when I log in on Monday I will be using a different system. One that I am not feeling confident about.  One that I feel that I was only half trained on.  There are so many questions in my mind and I am stressed to the max!

Factor number 3.....could I be building muscle???  I am riding my bike a LOT!

Ok, so factors number one and two are quite valid and real.  Three may just be a little wishful thinking!  But there you have it.  I had a HUGE gain this week!!!!!!!

Seriously????

I am so disgusted today!    It’s not my official weigh in day...but it is not looking good for that day when it comes!   My weight is just doing it’s own thing and not exactly going down...it actually has been high this week!

Ok, so maybe my weight isn’t doing it’s ‘own thing’.  I have played a part....in one way at least!

On Monday I totally fell apart.  I ate my planned lunch....and still felt so hungry.  I grabbed an extra item for lunch....and then another...and then another.  It just didn’t stop!    In fairness...my calories were not that high....they were still in a range that theoretically I should be losing. But I know that my body just doesn’t lose ‘theoretically’ and that I need to be at the lower calorie level to actually lose.   

All week long my calories were in that ‘theoretical’ loss range.....

Add to that....the monthly ick has arrived and that has always popped my pounds up 2-3 pounds. 

But....I’m still getting my 5.61 miles (actually I end up with about 7 each day on average) each day!  I am slaying that exercise thing!!!

Stay the course

I had a good week!   I feel as if I did great actually!   

I am still doing great with my riding and walking!  I am consistently getting on that exercise bike (Amazon link) and riding each day!!!  What a great purchase we made a year ago.   That first year I rode the bike sporadically, but this month I have putting the miles on the bike!  I am actually ahead of myself with miles and I am greedily banking miles to account for a rainy day when I honestly can’t ride for some VALID reason.  Nope, it is tempting to think ‘oh I’m ahead in miles, I can take a day off’. But that is a bad habit so I am riding and getting in my miles each and every day.   (One day I didn’t ride but got my miles through waking!) 

I can’t wait to share my statistics for the month of January....and I’m planning a monthly recap post to do that.....but I’m getting ahead of myself....we still have another week in this month for me to show progress and success!

Food wise, I feel as if I did fabulously!   My calories were well in line with my caloric goal and I couldn’t be happier!  I ended up eating a bit higher in carbs than normal and that seemed to be affecting the numbers on the scale!  But I knew that even though it may have been a bit higher in complex carbs that I was eating very nutritiously and I was ok with that. 

I woke up on my weigh in day and I laid in bed and I had a sense of dread.   I just had this feeling that it was going to be bad.   The night before we had scrapped the planned dinner and the substitution was not overly healthy and a lot higher in calories than I had planned.  That alone is not a big issue...the issue is that I had already eaten a lot of calories for lunch (knowing that dinner was low in calories).  So to say that I was worried was an understatement!

But.......

Somehow my weight was down.  2 pounds!   What??? I have no clue how!   Maybe the whoosh affect ?  I don’t know!  But whatever the reason, I was happy!    

Now in fairness, my weight popped up a half pound the next day...but we are not talking about that...we are talking about my official weigh in!!!  

I think that changing my thinking to focus on this as two different journeys that are side by side...hand in hand....but totally different is the way to go for me!   I don’t know...but it’s working and I’m running with it!!!!

And just because he is so stinking cute...I will leave you with a picture of kiwi.. our high red green cheek conure!  

It's a battle

 Just recently I was thinking about my weight loss journey over the years.  Throughout the years I have been either hot on the trail of weight loss or I have been amazingly active. It seems as if I can never have both things at the same time.  Yet if I had both things in line at the same time I would be absolutely golden!  But it never seems to happen that way.  

Years back I called myself the fattest fit person...because I was in the obese category but I was running daily, going to zumba, riding my bike, hiking and all sorts of activities.  But I wasn't losing weight!   There have been times where I was losing amazing amounts of weight...but I wasn't being active!  Why can I not get both of these things under control at once!  And then this week it hit me.  There is a battle between the two! 

All along I have in my mind linked getting fit with losing weight.  And don't get me wrong, they do go hand in hand.  The food I eat is what fuels me to do the activity.  The activity I do is what helps burn excess calories. It all works together.  But this week I realized that I have been erroneous!  I have been making these two things all one in the same when in reality I am on TWO different journeys!  I am on a journey to lose weight.  But I am also on a journey to get fit.   Similar...but two totally different journeys!

I need to start focusing on each of these as their own entity!  You see,  I set a huge fitness goal for my year 2021.  I planned to do my mileage of 201 miles for the year. And I went into the new year totally focused on that fitness challenge. I was thinking that I had covered my bases and I had good goals for the year!    And it is a great goal.  I have been super focused on working toward that goal and to take the steps that I need to in order to reach that goal.  It has been awesome (and stressful).  But seriously...that's a fitness goal.  Sure, my weight may come off as a side effect of me pursuing that goal, but am I doing anything about my weight??  What about a weight related goal???? What about my weight loss journey????

You see...I was focused on one thing and since it was lumped together I thought I was good!  But no...I need to be focused on what I can do for my weight loss efforts also!  So right here and right now I am setting a goal.  And let me tell you, I am cringing to write this out...because I HATE to set weight loss goals.  Sometimes there are factors out of our control that keep us from losing weight.  And I don't want to set myself up for failure!  But I am roughly 47 pounds away from 200 pounds.  Sooooo my goal for the year 2021 is to get under 200 pounds.  That is one pound a week!  I know what I need to do in order to reach it!     Now if my body and mind cooperate I'll be good!

So I really am on two journeys.  The first journey is to lose weight!  The second journey is to be fit!  They are both equally important.  They will both benefit each other.  But they are two very separate journeys!!!!  I've got this!!!

Weigh in Victory

 This was a crazy week.  I  was sure that my weight loss was going to be non existent!  I was sure that I was going to post a failure.  I clung to the fact that I was riding the bike at least......but hold on, I'm getting ahead of myself!  

 2021 miles in 2021

So lets talk about the mile challenge!  I admittedly had my moments of feeling totally overwhelmed by the sheer enormity (for me) of my challenge.  When I allow myself to think about what I have yet to achieve and how many more days I have to consistently get my miles I just want to cry!   Yes, cry!  I feel a bit defeated just thinking about it!   BUT....I stepped back and decided to not think about the sheer amount of numbers I have left to complete.  I am choosing to not think about how many more days of constantly grinding out miles I have left.    I am looking at each and every day as an individual challenge.    My goal is to get 5.61 miles today.  I'm not worried about tomorrow...only focused on 'today'.  And while it is still a huge goal, I feel so much better about it.  

I also had a breakthrough in my thoughts.  I have long struggled to get steps each day.  When I first signed up for this challenge I was thinking that I would be able to count  my daily steps.  But the full rules were revealed to me only a day or so before the challenge began when it was announced that only miles that are specifically exercise miles count.  I started the challenge with that mantra and I was good with it.   I had a one day at work when I was calling an insurance company and they announced that the hold times were going to be very high. (like over 20 minutes).  I stood up and walked in place for those 20 minutes (which actually turned out to be quite a few more minutes...close to 80 minutes on hold....were  walked in place at my desk).  It was 'purposeful steps' so it counted.   A week later I had another 'announced' long hold.  So I stood up and walked in place.  It was during that experience that i realized that for ME that not counting my steps are inhibiting me and not encouraging me to get any extra steps...even if it is 100 steps here and 100 steps there.    

So I have a change.  While I was originally ok with the not counting my steps. I wanted to change it to encourage me to get extra steps no matter when or how.  So  I went back and looked at how many steps I get on an 'average' day where we don't walk after work...a sedentary day.   That is my  first number.  The next number I needed was to find out how  many steps I take per each mile.    The third number is my fluctuating number each day...my daily step total.   So each day I do a simple math equation.  

Total steps for the day  - (minus)  Sedentary Day steps =   Extra steps for the day    I then take the number I got for my extra steps for the day and divide it by the number that I have for how many steps I take in an average mile.    And that is my walking mileage!  This encourages me to stand up and walk and earn steps!   I hope to take my daily total of steps from barely scraping 5000 to many many more each day!  (If I use a GPS counter for a run or a hike then I will also deduct that from my daily step count!)   I started this just on Friday and I am very happy with it.  

Ohhh two more tidbits about my mileage thus far!   Number one, I am over 20 miles AHEAD for the year!  I am not planning on using those miles unless I absolutely need to.  I know there will come a day where something happens and I am honestly unable to complete my miles.....so those banked miles are for unavoidable issues!   Number two....Jason told me last night that he is proud of me.  He expected me to already have stopped and quit the challenge because it is soooo big.   

My Weigh In

I struggled a bit early in the week with my daily weigh ins.  But I did not give up.  I readjusted and moved on.  And when I stepped on the scales I almost danced a jig. (OH wait, I did!)   I lost 2 pounds!!!!

So I had a super successful week!  I am so proud of me!!!!!!

Cheating

 Recently I had someone bring up the word cheat in conjunction with a person that is on a healthy lifestyle.  I read their words and I really thought about them!  In response, I am eradicating the word from my healthy lifestyle.  And you can bet I'm going to tell you why!!!!

Before I go into the act of cheating in a diet/lifestyle, lets talk about a few places that cheating can happen in life:

* Cheating in a marriage.  If you are in a relationship and you find out that your partner has cheated on you....it's a bad thing!  A REALLY bad thing!  Believe me, it's bad!  You never want to have someone cheat on you! Cheating...not a good thing! IN fact, many times, cheating can end a relationship/marriage!  It is disastrous!

*Cheating on an exam.  You are taking an exam and you decide to cheat a little bit.  Is it right?  NO, you know it's not right.  It might bring about the desired results, but at what price.  If you get caught you could end up failing the exam which could have extremely disastrous ramifications in your life depending on what the exam is tied to.  (you could fail school...lose a job...etc).  Cheating on an exam is apparently not a good thing either!

So why in the world do we feel it is ok and a good thing to 'cheat' during our journey to lose weight. We have cheat meals....we have cheat days....we cheat.  I have done it for years.  I looked up cheat and I came up with multiple examples of my 'cheat meals' and 'cheat days'.   So yes, I have done it!  I've even managed to do it regularly each week and have incredible success!   So it's not the concept that I have a problem with.  As long as it is just a one meal or one day it is a great sustainable way to be on this journey.  No, my issue is with the wording.  

Why would we use such a negative word?   Cheating implies that we are doing something bad...something that we are not supposed to be doing.  We are being....naughty!    But is a day of minor indulgences bad if it is just that day?  Is a meal where our points/calories are a bit higher a bad thing?  Or is is just life happening for that short temporary period?   BY using the word cheat we are putting negative connotations into our heads.  We are filling our minds with the naughtiness of being bad.  We are adding negativity to our journey....and we don't need any negativity! 

We are already fighting the negativity of self worth....self acceptance....self whatever!  Why add more negativity to our journey?  We need to be building ourselves up!  Instead of cheating we can have a planned day/meal of enjoyment, a wee vacation from healthy living, a wonderful indulgence.  So you see how that went?  Which sounds more in control?  Which one sounds more positive?  Definitely NOT cheat! Sure, it's all verbiage and semantics...but that is what this journey is about....building ourselves up to make us stronger and better!!!  Start with the words we use and watch the positivity spread throughout all aspects of our lives and our healthy journey!

Update on my 2021 challenge

 This challenge that I set for myself is huge!  I knew it when I decided to sign up for the 2021 miles in 2021.  I knew that 5.61 miles for me would be a stretch and really push myself!  Yet I did it anyway!  I signed up for the challenge and I decided to do it solo, meaning that I would be the only person responsible for accruing 2021 miles!

I was so excited to start the new year and get this challenge rolling.  I woke up on the first of the year and I eagerly went to the exercise bike and got my miles in! I pushed hard!  The room was hot.  I felt so dizzy after getting off the bike! I didn't let that stop me.  On December 2nd I was back on the bike!  I was there again on the 3rd!  Every day I hopped on that bike and I rode.

But it wasn't long before I started to feel the dread...the overwhelming feeling of working on a challenge that was WAY TOO BIG!  Every day I drug myself to the bike and grudgingly rode.  And I questioned my sanity!  I mean, It's only one week into the year.  I've got 50-51 weeks left! This year is going to be long!

But I'm not giving up!  A true challenge is something that tests you and pushes you to your limit!  That is what I want!  So I will keep pushing forward.  I will focus on one day at a time!  I will do this!