Weigh in Victory

 This was a crazy week.  I  was sure that my weight loss was going to be non existent!  I was sure that I was going to post a failure.  I clung to the fact that I was riding the bike at least......but hold on, I'm getting ahead of myself!  

 2021 miles in 2021

So lets talk about the mile challenge!  I admittedly had my moments of feeling totally overwhelmed by the sheer enormity (for me) of my challenge.  When I allow myself to think about what I have yet to achieve and how many more days I have to consistently get my miles I just want to cry!   Yes, cry!  I feel a bit defeated just thinking about it!   BUT....I stepped back and decided to not think about the sheer amount of numbers I have left to complete.  I am choosing to not think about how many more days of constantly grinding out miles I have left.    I am looking at each and every day as an individual challenge.    My goal is to get 5.61 miles today.  I'm not worried about tomorrow...only focused on 'today'.  And while it is still a huge goal, I feel so much better about it.  

I also had a breakthrough in my thoughts.  I have long struggled to get steps each day.  When I first signed up for this challenge I was thinking that I would be able to count  my daily steps.  But the full rules were revealed to me only a day or so before the challenge began when it was announced that only miles that are specifically exercise miles count.  I started the challenge with that mantra and I was good with it.   I had a one day at work when I was calling an insurance company and they announced that the hold times were going to be very high. (like over 20 minutes).  I stood up and walked in place for those 20 minutes (which actually turned out to be quite a few more minutes...close to 80 minutes on hold....were  walked in place at my desk).  It was 'purposeful steps' so it counted.   A week later I had another 'announced' long hold.  So I stood up and walked in place.  It was during that experience that i realized that for ME that not counting my steps are inhibiting me and not encouraging me to get any extra steps...even if it is 100 steps here and 100 steps there.    

So I have a change.  While I was originally ok with the not counting my steps. I wanted to change it to encourage me to get extra steps no matter when or how.  So  I went back and looked at how many steps I get on an 'average' day where we don't walk after work...a sedentary day.   That is my  first number.  The next number I needed was to find out how  many steps I take per each mile.    The third number is my fluctuating number each day...my daily step total.   So each day I do a simple math equation.  

Total steps for the day  - (minus)  Sedentary Day steps =   Extra steps for the day    I then take the number I got for my extra steps for the day and divide it by the number that I have for how many steps I take in an average mile.    And that is my walking mileage!  This encourages me to stand up and walk and earn steps!   I hope to take my daily total of steps from barely scraping 5000 to many many more each day!  (If I use a GPS counter for a run or a hike then I will also deduct that from my daily step count!)   I started this just on Friday and I am very happy with it.  

Ohhh two more tidbits about my mileage thus far!   Number one, I am over 20 miles AHEAD for the year!  I am not planning on using those miles unless I absolutely need to.  I know there will come a day where something happens and I am honestly unable to complete my miles.....so those banked miles are for unavoidable issues!   Number two....Jason told me last night that he is proud of me.  He expected me to already have stopped and quit the challenge because it is soooo big.   

My Weigh In

I struggled a bit early in the week with my daily weigh ins.  But I did not give up.  I readjusted and moved on.  And when I stepped on the scales I almost danced a jig. (OH wait, I did!)   I lost 2 pounds!!!!

So I had a super successful week!  I am so proud of me!!!!!!

Cheating

 Recently I had someone bring up the word cheat in conjunction with a person that is on a healthy lifestyle.  I read their words and I really thought about them!  In response, I am eradicating the word from my healthy lifestyle.  And you can bet I'm going to tell you why!!!!

Before I go into the act of cheating in a diet/lifestyle, lets talk about a few places that cheating can happen in life:

* Cheating in a marriage.  If you are in a relationship and you find out that your partner has cheated on you....it's a bad thing!  A REALLY bad thing!  Believe me, it's bad!  You never want to have someone cheat on you! Cheating...not a good thing! IN fact, many times, cheating can end a relationship/marriage!  It is disastrous!

*Cheating on an exam.  You are taking an exam and you decide to cheat a little bit.  Is it right?  NO, you know it's not right.  It might bring about the desired results, but at what price.  If you get caught you could end up failing the exam which could have extremely disastrous ramifications in your life depending on what the exam is tied to.  (you could fail school...lose a job...etc).  Cheating on an exam is apparently not a good thing either!

So why in the world do we feel it is ok and a good thing to 'cheat' during our journey to lose weight. We have cheat meals....we have cheat days....we cheat.  I have done it for years.  I looked up cheat and I came up with multiple examples of my 'cheat meals' and 'cheat days'.   So yes, I have done it!  I've even managed to do it regularly each week and have incredible success!   So it's not the concept that I have a problem with.  As long as it is just a one meal or one day it is a great sustainable way to be on this journey.  No, my issue is with the wording.  

Why would we use such a negative word?   Cheating implies that we are doing something bad...something that we are not supposed to be doing.  We are being....naughty!    But is a day of minor indulgences bad if it is just that day?  Is a meal where our points/calories are a bit higher a bad thing?  Or is is just life happening for that short temporary period?   BY using the word cheat we are putting negative connotations into our heads.  We are filling our minds with the naughtiness of being bad.  We are adding negativity to our journey....and we don't need any negativity! 

We are already fighting the negativity of self worth....self acceptance....self whatever!  Why add more negativity to our journey?  We need to be building ourselves up!  Instead of cheating we can have a planned day/meal of enjoyment, a wee vacation from healthy living, a wonderful indulgence.  So you see how that went?  Which sounds more in control?  Which one sounds more positive?  Definitely NOT cheat! Sure, it's all verbiage and semantics...but that is what this journey is about....building ourselves up to make us stronger and better!!!  Start with the words we use and watch the positivity spread throughout all aspects of our lives and our healthy journey!

Update on my 2021 challenge

 This challenge that I set for myself is huge!  I knew it when I decided to sign up for the 2021 miles in 2021.  I knew that 5.61 miles for me would be a stretch and really push myself!  Yet I did it anyway!  I signed up for the challenge and I decided to do it solo, meaning that I would be the only person responsible for accruing 2021 miles!

I was so excited to start the new year and get this challenge rolling.  I woke up on the first of the year and I eagerly went to the exercise bike and got my miles in! I pushed hard!  The room was hot.  I felt so dizzy after getting off the bike! I didn't let that stop me.  On December 2nd I was back on the bike!  I was there again on the 3rd!  Every day I hopped on that bike and I rode.

But it wasn't long before I started to feel the dread...the overwhelming feeling of working on a challenge that was WAY TOO BIG!  Every day I drug myself to the bike and grudgingly rode.  And I questioned my sanity!  I mean, It's only one week into the year.  I've got 50-51 weeks left! This year is going to be long!

But I'm not giving up!  A true challenge is something that tests you and pushes you to your limit!  That is what I want!  So I will keep pushing forward.  I will focus on one day at a time!  I will do this!  

First week is done

 So the first week of the year is in the books and it is time for a weigh in.  I was so excited to start this new year and to smash my goals and to lose a ton of weight!  I was going to exercise each day.  I was going to start my year off incredibly strong!  I wanted this year to be awesome from the get go!!!   But how did it really go??? 

The week in review

We had a good weekend over New Years.  We spent time with Jason's parents to celebrate Christmas.  I love my little decorations.  (the bearded one was a gift this year).  

We also took down our Christmas decorations.  I was sad to see them go....but getting the tree out of our small apartment makes it seem less cramped!!!

We drove about an hour away trying to find a avian sun lamp....in an unexpected ice storm.  Sadly they didn't have any!  Does no place carry these near us?  I finally ended up buying one on Amazon..but it's not...well we can use it.  but we want something nicer!!!

The rest of the week was a normal work week.  5 days of work and boy oh boy did they seem to go by so SLOOOOWLY!!!  

We are enjoying working with our bird.  Kiwi is still a bit nippy and afraid of us...but he really wants to be with us, so it's just a matter of time!

The Food I ate to lose weight this week

I had grand plans to give up the sweat treats totally during the first week of the year!  I was going to keep my calories totally in check.  I was going to rock it out!   The sweat treats?  I didn't do too badly.  I did indulge one night on the homemade candy that Jason's mom made for us.  I ate ONE night...the first night and a limited number of pieces.  I would like to say I stopped there, but there was an incident where I saw the container of chocolate and just opened it and had some at lunch.  Other than those two situations I did great!

So how was my food in general?  I would like to say that I tracked everything.  I tracked about 70% of the time. There were a few days where I struggled.  I also struggled with portion control!  That is a biggie for me.  There was also one day at lunch where I just kind of went nuts!  I felt horrible afterwards....mentally and physically!  Lessons learned!

Getting exercise each day

I did amazing, absolutely amazing on the exercise!  Every day!  Without fail!  I smashed this new year!  I couldn't have done any better.  Oh wait, my attitude could have been better!  There were days where I really struggled to get moving!  But that doesn't matter does it?  I'm going to say it doesn't matter....because I did it and that is what counts!!!

The number on the scales

I was nervous to step on the scales.  I didn't think it was going to be much....if anything.  I am happy though to announce that I lost 0.8 pounds.  It's a far cry from what I gained over Christmas and over the year of 2020...but it is a start!  Now I plan on building on this success and losing again this upcoming week!!!!

What I need to work on this week

I have identified a few places that I need to tighten the reins.  

1. The first is my water consumption.  I would estimate and say that I am getting between 30-50 ounces each day....which is NOT enough!

2.  Track EVERY DAY

3.  Continue the no sweats!!!  In all fairness, If there is a day where I have sweats I'm ok as long as it is ONE day.  This is not a journey of all restriction...it is a journey of building a sustainable life!

So there you have it, my week in review and my plans for this upcoming week!  I've got this!!!

Organized weight Loss

I am a paper girl.  I like to keep my notes and stats on paper.  Sure, I use apps on my computer but there is something about the good old fashioned paper routine that just is good for my soul.  It is what I best use for my personality.   I don’t even try to go a different route.  I keep track of everything with paper!

About  a month or two ago I even wrote about how I had gotten back to writing my to do list down and I was totally enjoying the results I was getting! I loved it!   But it was another notebook to keep track of!  

You are, I have a pile of notes books!  One notebook for the to do list, one for my personal life, one for my weight stats, one for this and one for that!  Notebooks notebooks everywhere!  It is insane!  

So I decided that one of my main goals to start the new year would be to streamline everything!  No more multiple notebooks...all in one!  I utilized the stats and notebooks of this past year to find the things that I liked and didn’t like and I bought a calendar/planner based on those past findings!  And this is what I got!!

Ahhh so ‘purty’!   But purty isn’t what is important.  It’s what is on the inside that counts right!

So my main calendar page has a place for my monthly measurements!  I can’t forget them if they are on that main page right???   I am purposefully keeping this calandra page clean and neat.  It includes birthdays and days off of work and other real life important things!   At the top right in the margins I have my mileage goal for my 2021 challenge!  I will keep track of my overall numbers there!  

But the next page is where the magic happens!!   This calendar had a to do list section for each day!   And it was broken into three distinct sections!  I love it because I can use it for different things I track!!!

The top section of each day will be my posts for here and YouTube and my other blog/site.  I can keep track of what is already scheduled and what days still need to be finished with one glance!  You can see that the day that I took the picture I had only written the post for my 2021 challenge to go live on January 1!   I still had to write my Monday weigh in post and my Wednesday post!  (Same for my YouTube!)

The middle section of each day is my to do list!   I need that Vistula reminder of what needs done and the satisfaction of crossing it off when I complete it!! (The picture was taken prior to the week!)

The bottom section is labeled tonight...but that section is for stats.  Right now the three main ones that I plan on doing is weight, steps/mileage and calories eaten!   I am going to add in a BP somewhere...but I haven’t figured out which day that will fall each week!

I am so excited about my organized ‘life’. I know that my weight loss is through my hard work and willpower  but I feel as if this new set up will help keep me on the right track and I’m ready to rock out this year!!!

15 years and going strong

15 years ago I was simply doing what I do...journaling my life and writing.   I was carrying around a not book for my weight loss journal and my personal journal and ..all...it was getting to be a lot. But I really wanted to chronicle my weight loss efforts, from the my highest to my lowest.  The ups and downs....everything!

 It was an offhand suggestion that was made to me that sparked this whole Website/blog and eventually even my YouTube channel.   What was that suggestion/comment you ask?   ‘Why don’t you use one of those online journals’. 

The aspect of using an online journal was quite different for me.  I had always used pen and paper.  I even thought about the public aspect of putting my thoughts on the internet.  But I quickly pushed down those concerns about privacy.   Afterall, who was going to find it and read my lowly journal!  I decided to continue my personal journal on paper but to go online with my weight loss journal.   Imagine my surprise when months later I started to receive comments!  But by that time there was no turning back!  I was full steam ahead!  

These last 15 years have been a whirlwind for sure!  I lost a lot of weight and even made it to be a lifetime member of Weight Watchers.

I gained a lot of my weigh back! 

I went through a divorce and I ran a few races...and enjoyed it!  Go figure!

I rode my bike...and cried once or twice.

I fell in love and got engaged. 

I’m telling you...it’s been a crazy journey!   And what is even crazier, this journey is far from over!  I have a ways to go to get back to my weight goals.   I know that the journey will never be over.  I will have to watch my weight...my food intake and my fitness levels for the rest of my life.   

This website had been instrumental though!   It (and thereby you) are my accountability through this journey.   When I don’t write, the odds that I am off track is great!  The act of coming here a few times each week really keeps me in the game!  I might be struggling but I’m still here and by writing religiously it keeps me from totally giving up!

So on this 15 year anniversary, I would like to thank YOU for support!!!

Out with the old

I was ready  and excited for this new start!!!!  So ready to get to 2021 and get this weight loss journey rolling!

I really struggled the last two weeks of 2020.  I just struggled.  I kept saying ‘today is the day, I’m getting back on track.’ But I kept saying that every day and it never happened!   Eventually I vowed to work to hold steady and come January first there would be no more badness.  No if’s ands or bird, I would be back on track!!!!  I would get back on track on January first.  It was going to be my new start.  I would kick off my weight loss journey way and rock out the year 2021!

The first of January loomed.  I remained a bit nervous, because my challenge for the year is huge!  If you missed it, I challenged myself to walk/hike/run/bike 2021 miles in the year 2021.  That is a lot of miles for a sedentary person such as myself!   But amidst that nervousness, I felt excitement and hope for the year ahead.   

The excitement came from the determination and readiness to get back on track and feel good. I want my body to feel good!  I’m tired of aching.  I’m tired of waking up and feeling sick because I overate the night before.  I’m ready to feel good!   The hope comes from the fact that I KNOW this can be done.  Will it be easy?  Of course not!  But I know it can be done!!

January 1 came around and I stepped on the scale!  I took a picture of the scale to commemorate the new year and my start for 2021. I wasn’t happy with the number but it is mine and I own it!  And anyway,It will be changing!!!

I showered and moved to the couch to hang put and enjoy a quiet holiday morning.  It wasn’t long before I realized that... ‘Dangit, I need to ride the exercise bike and I already showered’.  I sat there for a few minutes.  But then I decided that dilly dallying....second guessing...delaying the ride would only set me up for failure!  Because you and I both know that if I don’t get my miles right off the bat the first day of the year then the chances of me giving up on this challenge is much greater!  I didn’t want to start the year behind and risk the chance of giving up.  So off I went to the office and the exercise bike!

I rode hard!  It was hot!  But I did the 5.5 miles that I needed!  I rode so hard and got so hot that when I was done I was really dizzy and sick to my stomach.   I tried to get a picture of the stats but I KNEW I needed to lay down and immediately!   That feel passed as I cooled down!   And I got smart...on day two I opened the window for a bit of a breeze!   

But how is my eating?  I am starting out strong there too!   Right in line!

So I am off to a fine start! I didn’t slow down and kept going!  

The Challenge for 2021

 Happy New Years!  I am smiling as I welcome 2021!  I have plans and goals for this year and I can't wait to have success!!!!  I am planning on doing this with an immense challenge to myself!!

I actually attempted this same challenge in 2017...but then Jason and I both switched jobs and added a HUGE commute that ate up our time for evening walks and the challenge fell by the wayside.  I am going to attempt it again!

The year is 2021 and I have set a goal to walk/run/hike/bike 2021 miles!  I had the chance to do it as a team and I honestly pondered this. But I want a challenge!  (Maybe I'm just a glutton for punishment!)

2021 miles in 2021...that is about 5.5 miles a day!

2021 miles in 2021....that is 168.41 miles a month! 

That is a whole lot of miles for anyone!  Especially for this girl who is barely walking 5,000 steps a day as it is and struggles to reach that goal!  I am counting on using the exercise bike to help boost my miles in the off season.   During bike season I know that our outdoor bike rides will help accumulate miles pretty quickly!

I have my new (well a few weeks old now) Fitbit Sense  (Affiliate Link) to  help me along on this journey and I am ready!!!! I am also ready to rock that Exercise bike I got last year (The Schwinn IC3...Amazon Affiliate link)

Wish me luck!  It's going to be difficult!  I am also giving you permission to ask me about my challenge111

Exploring abandoned Properties

A few weekends back we had a weekend of great weather.  I am talking sweatshirt and even long tee shirt weather.  60° in mid December!  It was fabulous! We couldn’t let that weather pass us by!  So what did we do???   We went back to an abandoned house that we explored a year earlier!  And we found a second abandoned house to explore!  Be sure to check out the videos at the end if abandoned properties interest and fascinate you!

The first house is the Winderborne Mansion.  It was built in the 1870’s as a summer home for a prominent lawyer in Washington DC.   The family had three kids, one of which died when all three contracted typhoid.  One of those children grew up to become a doctor and her child also died at Winderborne when she fell off the stairway bannister.  The house was sold to another family in 1929 and remains in the possession of that family.  The last resident died in 2004 and there have been attempts to sell the property...with the price dropping substantially over the years.  The house is in a very bad state of disrepair but is absolutely amazing! If only walls could talk...this house would have some amazing stories!    Enjoy the pictures!  

The second house we visited was what I believe to be the White Oak Springs Farm.  This house was built in 1850 and while the brick walls are in good shape, the roof has caved in and the inside of the house is just rotting away.   The outbuildings appear to be in good shape and are well secured against intruders.

We had a fabulous time exploring these abandoned locations and hope to find more abandoned properties to explore.  It is fun to see how people lived in years gone by!  It is fun to try to piece together the history and lives.   It is a look at a piece of history that unfortunately may not be with us for too long.

Shhhhh. I’m not talking about it!

Yes!  It should be a weigh in post!  I am not even going to pretend that it isn’t time for my weigh in!  The time to weigh in has come and gone and here I sit.....quiet.

Nope!  I’m not weigh in in this week!  Suffice it to say that I have however weighed myself each day!  I just am choosing to NOT share.  I am refusing to vocalize it!  (Uhhhhh....I meant to say type it out!).  

Yes, I kinda sorta really lost control.  I have eaten delicious foods galore over the last week!  It’s been pure insanity and I won’t lie....absolutely delicious!  

I am trying to reign myself in NOW and not wait until the new year!   There is no time like now to restart!   That means that I am tracking my food today!  

I am looking forward to the new year.  I have a challenge that I’ll be sharing later this week that I am super excited about.  It should help me immensely in my efforts too!  I am excited to break into my new planner which is laid out and ready for weight loss/healthy living success. (I’ll be sharing that soon also!).   I am ready to rock and roll the year 2021!

So yes, my refusal to talk about and even have an official weigh in is indicative of what the scales are saying.....let’s just say about 2-3 pounds were gained!!!! 

Merry Christmas

 

Goodbye Garmin Hello ........

 It's watch update time!   Yes, it is time for a new watch!!!!  But what did I get?  Why am I saying goodbye to my Garmin Instinct????   So many questions!!

A few years ago, Christmas of 2016 to be exact, I caved and actually joined the Step counting watch bandwagon.  UP until then I had been using the old style clip on pedometers.  They worked....sporadically so I was quit interested in the Fitbit.  But I didn't cave until I found out that I could receive text notifications through my watch.  Yeah....I wanted that but I sat on the fence and didn't buy it for months.  And finally for Christmas I was gifted the Alta Fitbit! (amazon Affiliate link).  I loved it!  I quickly came to love the text notification and knew that I would never want to be without that again (and in fact when I did go to purchase the next watch, that was one of the must have features!).   I had absolutely no problems with that watch.  It worked like a charm.  It did everything it was supposed to do.  It was a great watch.  I had absolutely no issues with the watch at all. Sure, I had to replace some watch bands here and there, but that is to be expected with most any watch.  This watch saw me through the years 2017, 2018 and part way through 2019!  The watch still works to this day (if I should charge it).  A few months ago I wanted to calculate the accuracy of my current watch so I charged up the Alta and wore both watches for a few days.  It worked great!

Mid way through 2019 I began to think about a new watch.  Why?  Because I could! I was wanting to start to run again and my thoughts turned to Garmin because they had always been the 'premier' watch for sports enthusiast. (at least in my mind).  Ok, ok ok....back when I was running religiously I had really wanted a Garmin but did not have the money to purchase one.  So getting the Garmin was I guess somewhat like completing the full circle and closing the chapter!  Whatever the reason, in mid 2019 I found myself the proud owner of the Garmin Instinct. (Amazon Affiliate Link).    I had more problems with this watch.  Within a month I had to get a replacement watch because of battery issues.  But once I got that straightened out, it seemed to work great.  The watch carried me through the year of 2019 and tracked quite a few bike rides.  It carried me most of the way through 2020 but did get some scratches when I went over the handlebars in my spectacular bike accident!

I have absolutely no problem with the Garmin Instinct watch.  But I couldn't help start looking at other watches.  I wanted something more dainty and more streamlined to compliment my new engagement ring after all!  My employer gives/reimburses their employees for up to $300 each year for fitness related purchases.  I found myself sitting at midway through the month of December and I had not yet spent my $300!  What to buy....what to buy!  Why a new watch of course!

Now don't fear...my Garmin Instinct will still be used.  I originally planned to wear it when I ride my bike on the mountain bike trails.  However, Jason has claimed the watch as his own!  I am tickled to see it being used and enjoyed!

I pondered a few different watches but kept going back to my appreciation of my first Fitbit.  So I decided to go Fitbit.  I also debated between the Versa 3 and the Sense. (Amazon Affiliate Link) But I finally decided to purchase the Sense. I have only had it on my arm for a few days but I am really liking it thus far!  I am liking the ease of navigating the screen to see the information.  I have checked the step count against other watches and thus far it is spot on.  It is comfortable to wear and I think this will be a great addition to my fitness plans.  This will be coming in handy big time for my upcoming 2021 challenge.....stay tuned!

Weigh in for the week

Oh dear...I am so running behind on today’s  post! And it is a weigh in day!!!    It is so hard to weigh in on Monday morning and then get a post up that day!   Hahahah. Ahh the stress!

So I am going to try weighing in on Sunday’s.  I like having the weekend mostly before my weigh in.  I honestly do think that it helps keep me from indulging too freely!   But it’s hard for me with my posts and YouTube videos.   The accountability from these two places is something that I rely on heavily!  I know from past experience, that when I am not posting on here...I tend to be going off the rails and gaining weight!  Yup,  not good!

So my official weigh in will be Sunday morning giving me all day Sunday to get my Monday weigh in post written but it still keeps me on track for most of the weekend!!!

So on to the weigh in!!!!

I lost!!!  Hip hip hurray!   I lost one pound.  Ok, I am only recouping my birthday gain!  But still...I am back where I was before my birthday gain!  That counts for something...right???

Now on to the week of Christmas!   I want to lose, but if I can maintain through aDecember I’ll be happy!!!!  That’s not too much to ask is it????

How to stop the Self Sabotage in a Weight Loss Journey

 I have been thinking about self sabotage a lot lately.  It is such a real problem for me.  I have some incredible weeks and I am FINALLY moving in the right direction on the scales and it feels as if I am in control and on top of the world.  Everything is going in the right direction and then all of a sudden...BOOM....I find myself in the kitchen eating food with no control.  I even recognize my actions while I'm gorging on the food.  But I say "I don't care."   Why?  Why do I stop caring??

Years ago I made a hefty realization.  I realized that I was totally afraid to lose the weight. I was afraid to shed my fat because I wear the fat as a suit of armor to protect me from the world.  It is my insulation.   The fat is my excuse for everything. "Ohhh, I didn't get that job....must have been discrimination because I was fat".   Makes total sense doesn't it?    Ok to a food addict fat suit of armor wearing girl it does!   Any thing that went wrong....blame it on the fat!  Because you see, it's easier to blame things on the FAT.  It's easier to blame the fat versus say "well maybe I didn't get the job because I bombed the interview" or "maybe I didn't get the job because I am not qualified".  Those are failures and shortcomings of myself and they are harder to admit to!  It's easy to admit to the weight....everyone see it...it's already well known!  So I use it as an excuse!

So to stop the self sabotage in a weight loss journey we need to sit back and we need to think about what is causing us to be fearful.  What are we afraid of?  What is making us be afraid to shed the excess pounds.  Are you afraid of actually discovering who you really are without the fat suit?  Are you afraid that someone won't love you?  Or that someone will love you?  Are you afraid of the unknown?  What is the fear....because sabotage begins in fear!   

Each of us have different fears....but sabotage is rooted in fear.  We have to face those fears.  We have to figure out what we are afraid of and then say,  "What is the worst thing that will happen should I come face to face with my fear"? And once you actually go that far....you have to weigh the risk and benefits and I am 100% positive that the benefits outweigh (pun intended) the risks!  (and let me say...from experience...if you are afraid of losing someone in your life if you lose the weight.....then they are not worthy of being in your life in the first place!!!!)

Self Sabotage.......it's just fear wrapped up in a pretty package/word!   Face the fears and conquer them!!!!

An important announcement

 I have a HUGE announcement to make!  It is an announcement that I have been wanting to make for quite some time.  However, I wasn't at liberty to make the announcement because it was only a want, it was not a reality!  

But good things come to those that wait....even if I waited with little patience!

ON my birthday I received the best gift of all time!!!!  Jason officially asked me to marry him!!!!!!!!

So yes...I am officially announcing my engagement!!!!!!!!

A great week!!!

 I had a great week......well a great week in terms of my life!  It may not have been so great in terms of my weight loss but we will get to that!

This past week I celebrated my 48th birthday.  I had off my birthday and the day after my birthday.  Jason had to work on the one day so I went to my mom's house and enjoyed time with her.  We had lunch with my brother and his family and it was a great day!

Oh yeah, mom also made me my favorite cookie!  And yes, I sorta kinda lost control of myself when eating them!  I only ate two at a time...and luckily the batch is not a huge batch so I only came home with 12 cookies!  But still.....

We had really nice weather over the weekend...so we got out and explored and just had some fun!  That was nice to be active and moving and seeing new things!

Ok, so maybe the healthy lifestyle fell by the wayside this weekend.....The weekend is over and I'm right back to it!!!!!!

Four Letter Bad Word

 I have a four letter bad word that I hate to say in conjunction with my weight loss journey.  When I say or hear this word it makes me cringe!   What is the word you may be asking?   The word is.......diet!  I can not stand the word diet!  It is a horrible word, right?

Ok, honestly when I hear someone use the word as a noun I don't mind it.  For example, "Sally is following a vegetarian diet."  Yup, that's not bad is it.  It's pretty benign that way isn't it? It doesn't hurt to say that.  There really isn't anything negative or bad about it.  Yet I still hate it!   But why do I hate the word diet so badly?

I hate the word diet so badly because this word is most commonly used as a verb.  "Sally is on a diet."   And I do not like the word used that way.  Dare I say it is even akin to a bad word when used as a verb?  But let me dive into the word and talk about why I hate it.

- Diet has such negative emotions connected with it.  So many people go on a diet......and fail.  Yes, there are quite a few people that have had success.  But seriously, how many times do we stumble and fall?  HOw many people just give up and never pick themselves back up after they stumble?  Quite a few!!!  Thus the word diet gets linked with negativity so much.  I do not want my weight loss to be negative.  It's hard enough to overcome the excess weight without added negativity!   Nope.  No DIET for me!

- The word diet many times is linked with crazy fads and ideas. " Eat just this and you will lose 20 pounds in one month!"  Fad DIETS and crazy diet ideas are usually not based on solid nutritional intake of food.  They are based on some crazy idea or plan to drop weight and unfortunately those fad diets many times will actually do your body more harm due to lack of nutrients or overload of one or two specific nutrients.   No thank you, I want to lose weight but I also want to be healthy!  No fad DIETS for me!

-The word diet implies that you are going to restrict or do something short term to lose the weight.  Someone going on a diet is doing it to fit into a dress for a special occasion.  They are doing it short term. It is a temporary change in their life just to reach a goal.  And honestly, that may be ok for a person that never has a weight problem and just gained 5 pounds due to a single event. But for me, a temporary restriction is NOT the answer to my weight problems.  I need a lifestyle change and a temporary change is not going to do the trick.

Diet.......yes, I can look at the word and see it's uses...but I will probably always continue to cringe when I see and hear the word!   A DIET is not for me.  I am here to change my life.  I am here to change the way I think  I am here to build a healthier and more fit lifestyle that will carry me through the rest of my life.   No diet for me!

A new Family Member

We have a new family member...but let me introduce you to my full family!

Obviously there is Jadon and I!

We have Mertz the cat.

We have BoBo the Betta fish.

We have three Hermit Crabs (and are contemplating getting one or two more from a hermit crab rescue since we have the room in our terrarium and it would be no extra work!)

And over this past weekend we added a new member to our family.

As yet the new member is unnamed.

Yes, we got a high Red green Cheek Conure.   Mertz is very curious about the bird...but doesn’t seem ready to attack.  But we are watching and working to get her trained and able to live harmoniously with a bird.   The bird...makes it difficult because we are pretty sure that he is trying to antagonize her!  (He just wants to be friends!)

Welcome to the family Mr. Birdy!

Weigh in time

It is time for my weekly weigh in and I was quite nervous about the results!  How in the world was I going to do!   I gained a bit of weight over thanksgiving and at the beginning of this weigh in week I was still struggling with that weight gain!

I watched my weight all week long and I was worried! Really worried because it was hovering at the higher number for the first part of the week. I didn’t waver in my commitment.  I didn’t let the scales derail me!  I just stayed consistent and steady in my efforts.   

The scales didn’t budge....until the day before my official weigh in!  Could it be???  Could I actually show a loss for the week?   

I stepped on the scales this morning and I couldn’t believe my eyes!   I was down by two full pounds!   I have officially lost the thanksgiving weight gain and even a bit more!     My weekly average shows me up by 0.15 pounds....but that’s ok!   

I am worried about this week!   I only work three days...then I am off on Thursday for my birthday.  I will spend that day with my mom (As long as everyone is healthy my uncle who lives next door to her has Covid...she wasn’t in contact with him for the two weeks prior...but..... ). Then on Friday Jason is off work so we will do something fun I am sure.    Follow that with the normal weekend.     And as I have written on here so many times...weekends are my difficult times!!!  So a four day weekend for me!  But I can do it!  I will make the best choices that I can and go into the long weekend planning to be healthy!!!

I’ve got this!!!!

Do Not Try

Do not TRY in your weight loss journey!  It's not the way to go!  No, I have not gone insane. I do not want you to use the word try!  I want you to actually eradicate that word from your weight loss vocabulary...and maybe even your life as a whole! Try is not a word that you want to use.

First of all lets look at the word try and think about it.  If someone asks you to go to dinner with them and your answer is 'I will try."  That is not a very committed answer.  You are saying something along the lines of 'I kind of want to but I kind of don't want to.  Maybe I will, maybe I won't."   Basically, you are giving yourself an out to not do it!   What? You are hedging the bets so that you can exert your own will and do what you want right?

Weight loss is similar.  If you say "I'm going to try to lose weight,"  What are you really saying?  You are saying, I may or may not put in the effort, it kind of depends on my mood at that critical moment.  I will try to make a good healthy decision, but there is definitely no guarantees!   You see, the word try is not making any sort of commitment!   It is a half hearted attempt to possibly, maybe, kind of sorta do something.  And let me tell you I don't want someone working for me that is only half heartedly working on something!   I want full commitment!  

Try is in no way a form of commitment and this weight loss journey needs commitment.  A weight loss journey needs us to say I WILL make healthy decisions and choices.  I WILL work out.  I WILL do what I need to do in order to live a healthy life.   We need commitment.....and for that reason I will no longer be trying.  I will be doing!