Priorities

Working out.  I do so much better with working out when I schedule it.   Simply saying "Ohhh, I have to run 3 times this week" Is not enough.  I tend to push off the exercise until it's too late and I just throw in the towel.  Luckily for me it is enough right now for me to simply schedule the DAY of my runs.  Saying that I will run on such and such day is enough for now. But I have to keep telling myself that working out is something that should be on the top of my list in priorities. (Being healthy is number one...and notice when I was getting sick I DID skip a zumba and have done so on more than one occasion).  It's making ME a priority! I am a priority!
I was talking to a friend last night after zumba (OK, part of the conversation was before zumba).  We were talking about priorities.  We both want this thin healthy thing with every fiber of our being and consequentially we are pushing ourselves to do it.  She has had to change up her zumba nights a few times in the past two weeks.  Life (in the form of two adorable young girls) has thrown some curve balls at her......girl scouts, basketball, soccer, sickness...you name it.   She has had it thrown at her.  She sacrifices her time for the family that she loves.  In the past she put them first and let her needs fall further down on the list of priorities. Not this time.  She is keeping herself up there at the top of the list amongst those other important things!  She  is striving forth.  She is finding the time to run (she's my running co-conspiritor) and to walk and to get to zumba.  She's finding time to plan her eating and track her food.  She's doing it, on top of all the things she does for the family that she loves..  She has made her health a priority and she will reap the rewards of those choices (she is already reaping them...she's running something she couldn't have done a few short weeks ago....she's dropping pounds....she is DOING IT).  The rewards are not just for her though.  She was watching the Biggest Loser with her one daughter.  Her daughter looked at her and expressed her thoughts on her mothers sacrifices.  "You are my inspiration mom".   Her daughter can see the sacrifices and the results that her mother is enacting upon her life.  And what that little girl is seeing and learning from her mother right now, just in observation will stay with her forever. She is learning to take care of herself. She is learning the art of showing love to not only family but also toward herself and making both coexist together.    Talk about huge rewards and benefits that my friend is reaping for her new found behaviors!

Zumba rocks on!  Anita is a fun instructor.  You just smile in her classes.  My eyes are automatically drawn to her socks.  Last night was wearing St. Patricks day socks.  Who knows what it will be tonight. I've tried other leaders....and I've just been spoiled with Anita.  She is top notch!  I worry about the fact that she has hinted about retiring.  :-(     Yes, she is in her mid 60's  And yes, she KICKS MY BUTT every time!

Zumba Socks

In Like Flynn

I don't have too much to say today.  I just am basically in the mind frame of working to keep moving forward.  I struggle with looking back and saying "I already did this journey once.  I already reached goal once.  I shouldn't be doing this again". I sit back sometimes and say "why did I not do this earlier"   All of those thoughts are negative and self destructive.  It hurts me.  So I'm looking forward and not focusing on the what ifs and should haves.  I'm only focusing on the what is going to be!



My news for the day.....well, I have a 5k that I am registered to run on March 23.  I have thus signed up for another one.  I will be running another 5K on May 18th.  That will be the first day of my vacation...what a great way to start off vacation right???   It is the Paws on the Pavement 5k in Hagerstown, benefiting the Humane Society.  What a great cause!  I'm thinking about working up a tee shirt that honors my kitty cats that I can wear while I run.  (OH my word...I think I know what I'm going to do for my tee shirt!!!   The slogan on the front.....20 paws are better than 4 ....I've got 5 cats of course! The rest will be surprise! Lets just say that I have to look through some pictures and get working in photo shop!)


That crazy fear rears it's head though (don't I have the craziest fears).  I may do this 5k alone.  I know I'll be OK if I'm on my own...but it's just that stupid fear.  I admit, I have a call out for friends to run it with me (sherry.....you can do it!...haa haa haa....ok ok ok, you are not sure that you are going to stay with this running thing, and that is ok. whatever you decide is good with me!) ...started thinking about not registering for it YET because what if no one does it with me.  But then I realized that I was just making excuses in an effort to take the easy way out.  That is NOT how the new MaryFran rolls!   I face things face on right now.  That said, I hope to run it with friends...but no worries.  If I'm alone, so be it!  Ohhh and I have already paid for my registration!  I'm IN like Flynn!

drive, heart and focus

Well, I stepped on the scales this morning..  Not the greatest results. Yes I gained.  I'm not going to lie and say that it was all out of my control. It wasn't.  No one force fed me food.  I made the choices.  Some of the choices were more difficult.  Some of the choices were out of my control. (that said I am still the one that made the final choices and decisions about what to put into my mouth).    Am I angry at myself?  No.  Am I disappointed with myself.  Yes.  I'm disappointed because I made poor choices. Why am I not angry with myself?  I am not angry with myself because I realize that it is totally unrealistic to expect myself to eat perfectly every stinkin' day for the rest of my life. It's unrealistic to think that way.  Being strict is just setting up for failure...because life WILL happen.  There will be days where you forget to take your lunch to work.....and unfortunately there will be times when you meet up with a friend for dinner and find out she ate before you get there (well, hopefully that doesn't happen again, but is DID happen)...there will be gymnastic meets and celebratory dinners afterward.  Life happens.  How those circumstances affect me is where this battle is won or lost. The success comes in learning how to recover from a day or two of non strict eating. If you give up...you lose.  If you accept it as a fact of life and move on it only makes you stronger and puts you one step closer to winning the battle.  I accept and I'm hanging on because I refuse to LOSE!  Shazam!

So my weekend was nuts...eating wise it started on Wednesday when I forgot to bring a lunch and ended up partaking of the free lunch my work provided.   It continued on Thursday with me planning on eating out with a friend only to have the friend eat before I got there, which left me shoveling food into my mouth at 10:30PM (I was within my calories but seriously....while eating peanut butter was a treat,  it was not a totally nutritious meal).  Friday night my husband and I went out for Chinese....I don't know what possessed me, but I didn't calculate my calories BEFORE I ordered.  I didn't even calculate my calories after I ordered but before the food arrived.  I didn't calculate my calories until I got home.  Yup....I ate a BUTT LOAD of calories. (It sure was tasty and I don't regret it at all...I got that meal out of my system..I'd been SOOO hungry for it!)  Saturday and Sunday I did pretty good calorie wise, but was woefully lacking on fruits and veggies.  Today?   I've got my day totally planned and I'm rocking it!  :-)

That all said.  I"m determined that spring is here.  So I'm wearing a short skirt to emphasis my declaration.  I was looking in the mirror while I was getting ready.  I really do like my legs.  So muscular and toned.  Just sayin'.  

Saturday I rode down to Ocean City (Berlin, MD to be more specific) with my sister in law and my niece for my nieces gymnastic meet.  So very proud of Ali...she took first place in two events and second place in two events and walked away with first in All around!  She Rocks it!   It is always fun to watch her compete.  She totally loves gymnastics.  From the day that my brother and sister in law put her in an introductory gymnastics class when she was three years old it was her passion. She flipped around the house.  She moved up the ranks into competitive gymnastics.  She loves it.  When they moved, within days she was asking when she could get into a gymnastics gym and join a team.  They had barely unpacked the truck and my sister in law was visiting gyms and signing on the dotted line for my niece to join a gym and to compete with their team.   As I sat there watching the meet a  meet a few things were startling clear to me.

I watched my niece as she competed.  She was doing stuff that struck fear in my heart.....had I been the one that was cartwheeling across a narrow balance beam or running down a runway that is.  She was cool as a cucumber and made it look extremely simple.  It's not simple. She has WORKED for that level of apparent ease.   This 10 year old girl (barely 10 too) puts my measly hours of exercise to SHAME! Yes, remember my bragging recently (ok, I wasn't really bragging) about my 7 hours of exercise in one week?  She is in the gym for HOURS upon HOURS a week.  As a 10 year old.....hours upon hours! I think the commitment for her level is 12 hours.....that does not include the extra hours that she flips around practicing and doing sit ups (stomach muscles need to be TIGHT to do some of these moves).  That does not include the hours that she puts in at these gymnastic meets (the last four weekends straight).  She is committed to this.  She is focused and LOVES it so it is not a hardship.  She just does it.  Do I hear her moan on occasion because she hears that something fun may happen while she is laboring at the gym?  Absolutely.  Does it deter her from going?  NO.  Focus.  She has it.  And she has done incredibly well.   

There are two to three components that my 10 year old niece has in place.  I need to follow her lead.  What are those components?   

1.  Follow your heart.  She loves gymnastics.  LOVES, BREATHES and LIVES it!  Exercise is finding out what makes your heart go pitter patter.  Is it running for me?  I don't know.  Is it biking?  I don't know.  Zumba?   Could be, who knows.  Maybe for me it is a combination of everything. I just know that if you are not totally immersed and happy with what you are doing you will lose interest....lose focus....and lose your drive to do it!

2.  My niece has grown to realize that sore muscles...an aching ankle...even a broken bone are part of life.  Hurting is only a temporary thing.  It doesn't stop her.  So often we as adults stop doing things because it 'hurts' or because we MIGHT get hurt.   But sometimes pain is necessary to progress.  My niece has realized this....she just puts on the ankle brace when it hurts and continues on.  She broke her wrist a few years back yet only missed a practice or two.....she still went and stretched out and did everything possible that she could do.

3.  If you want it.....go after it.  12 hours plus in the gym is a lot for a young child.  My niece is being home schooled again this year...but when she did go to public school she literally would get home from school grab a snack change her clothes and walk right out the door to head to the gym.  She would be there for hours and get home later in in the evening....rush to take a shower, do homework and fall into bed. She packs dinner to eat while she is at the gym.   That is the life she leads (by choice, my brother and his wife do NOT push at all...there is actually very little focus on competition....as long as she is having fun they don't care what scores she gets...although they are very proud when she does well).  She leads it by choice..why?  Because she has a focus. She wants to perfect her moves.  She wants to do things perfectly and accomplish moves that she struggles with. She has a drive that pushes her when she doesn't want to go on. 

Important lessons to learn.  So important!   I want this.  I want to be healthy.  I want to be thin.  I actually want to be athletic.(kinda shocked me to write that!)  So I will not run at the first sign of an achy muscle.  I will not run at the first sign of difficulty or inconvenience.  I will push forward and be willing to work for it.  I will surround myself with activities that I love...activities that will ultimately help me reach my goal!

After the meet, we had just a few minutes to run over to the beach.  My niece had never been to the Ocean (remember they just moved from the mid west...there are no oceans near where they lived...and all vacations were spent visiting family) so we took her the few miles to check it out.  It was so gorgeous...now I'm dying to go back!!

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Indicators of success

I planned my day carefully yesterday.  After my overage on calories due to the craziness of life on Wednesday, I wasn't going to let that happen on Thursday.  So I planned.  I planned carefully because I knew I was going out with friends after work.  I made sure I left enough calories for any eventuality (ie in case the meal I planned to eat was not available for whatever reason and I had to get something else.  I tell you.  I was READY)  I looked forward to my evening out all day.  I got off work at six....and arrived at the location.  My friend  had gotten there early and how polite of my friend......already ordered AND ate.  Seriously?  What freakin' kind of friend does that.  So they were ready to roll onward.  It didn't give me any option...other than being a bitch and saying "I haven't eat...so go ahead, even though I haven't seen you in ages I'm not going along because I'm going to eat".  I spent the time with my friend.  I'm trying to take the focus off food and enjoy interaction with friends and such more.  So it really wasn't a difficult decision.  (it's still incredibly rude of them).  Anyway...so I end up getting home at 10PM...and I STILL hadn't eaten.  And I had over 600 calories to eat.  Crazy, but my first thought was, 'how in the world will I consume almost 700 calories before I got to bed"...because that's a LOT of calories.   I ended up having a peanut butter and jelly sandwich....and I thoroughly enjoyed the extra spoon of peanut butter.  I also had a single serve bag of sun chips.  Voila....calories consumed REALLY quickly.  But I stinkin' ate at 10PM (later actually).  And I gulped that food down with a diet soda. 

I decided to step on the scales this morning.  It's really not good. WAY UP  I want to cry it's so bad.  Really????   My hope is that it was the late meal (and I weighed earlier in the morning than I normally weigh) and the sodium from the last two days!  I'm HOPING.    (let me pause to drink some water)

Even as I type my hopes and my fears about the number on the scales I want to scream at myself.  I'm in this to be healthy.  I'm in this to look good.  I'm not in this to be a number on the scale.  I'm not in this to have this super low pace when I run.   I'm not in this to measure my success by NUMBERS.  I'm on this journey to be healthy!  I"m on this journey to not be obese. I'm on this journey to win my life back.  Yes, I know that my numbers on the scales will drop as I win my life back.    I know that as I win my life back that my clothes sizes will drop exponentially.  I know that...and I thus I watch the numbers because I know that they will drop.  But I need to stop focusing on the numbers.  Numbers are just that.  NUMBERS...a momentary figure that is assigned to progress.  It doesn't define what I did yesterday, or this morning or this evening...it is a glimpse of ONE SECOND of my life.  I need to figure out how to take the focus away from numbers.  I thought I was well on the way do doing thise.  I had thought that it would be a good idea to set no number goals.  I have no clue when I'll get to my goal weight....I don't care. I will get there when I get there.  However, I find myself worried about the scales.  Saddened when I see higher numbers  today (which very well are most likely late eating combined with higher sodium in my diet...I hope).  I am living my life chained these numbers. 

I didn't want to be chained to food....and I don't want to be chained to numbers. 

SOOOOO while I will still plan to weigh and while I will freely admit that the scales were not kind to me this morning, let me share what I saw in the mirror mere moments after I saw the borderline depressing numbers on the scale.  I got dressed and I walked into the bathroom to fix my hair.  I saw myself in the mirror.  I wasn't posturing or sucking my gut in.  I was just being me and I was amazed.  I could SEE the definition in my body.  I'm shaping my body from a fat blob into a defined female shape.  That's a HUGE indicator that I'm doing something right!  And honestly?  Isn't that a better indicator than some stupid number on the scale????

Heaving + Running = fun times

I was on cloud nine when I got to work after my walk yesterday.  Seriously.  I was feeling on top of the world.   Yeah, I did have a bit of a blister on the bottom of my foot, but that was just an annoyance but otherwise all was good.  I had conquered and won a self imposed challenge!  And then the menu for lunch was dropped on my desk.  I had made waffles for breakfast at the house before my trek into town.  (waffles with berries and a strawberry syrup).  I didn't need much food. I had planned a light lunch because of that.  But the bank was paying...so I ordered 1/2 a turkey sub.  (a little higher in calories than I would have normally chosen after the waffles, but still OK)  My manager went ahead and got the whole sub for me (it was the same price..winter special).  I wasn't upset. She talked to me before hand and I had decided that I would just eat it for lunch tomorrow....no packing alunch  needed.  It would be in the fridge at work waiting for me.  All was right in my world.  I pulled up MPF and put my food in. Uhhh, I would only have 300 calories for dinner.  But I made my plans. 

I texted Todd and had him pull a steak out of the freezer for himself.  I planned to make mashed potatoes and veggies.  I would eat a small amount of potatoes and then load up on fruits and veggies.  I was A-OK with that.   But, best laid plans.......

Todd texted me back a little later and asked if I would mind if he made some kind of stir-fry with his steak.  Well of course I didn't mind.  I was still planning on making the potatoes and veggies....but then I thought about how easy it would be to simply eat the other half of that sub since he was making his own dinner.  I knew I didn't have the calories in my budget.....well, I would if I used my earned calories from my walk and only be 10 calories in the negative.  Soooo I planned to do that and just be OK with using all of my earned calories.......my new plan was in force....at least until after I had that 1/2 sub for dinner and I started thinking about how I wanted something sweet  last night.

Ohhh yes I did.  I had a 245 calorie dessert.  245 calories that I did NOT have the calories for.  This is definitely the FIRST time I have gone over on my calories  that badly since shortly after Christmas.  I ate a total of 1764 calories for the day. (I'm aiming for 1250 a day not including my earned calories)  Hmmmm  In the grand scheme of things still not bad.  (and honestly, still in the losing range of caloric restriction even with those extra calories utilized) But not where I want to be.

On a good note, I was only about 20 ounces of water into my day when they went to pick up lunch.  When I ordered I was very quick to say "And A diet pepsi please!!!"  That is probably only the second or third time I have drank a diet soda since I restarted.  I won't lie, it tasted heavenly!    BUT...the good note?  I finished up that diet pepsi and then I went back to water and I STILL completed my water consumption goal for the day!

I refuse to beat myself up over it.  I slipped.  I've tightened the belt and I'm marching onward!  Part of the Shazam plan is realizing that these kinds of days WILL occur. (Was it just the snow and the 'off day'?  Was it part of the munchies that go along with the monthly feminine  ick?   I don't know....and it doesn't matter) Realizing and accepting that these days happen takes the pressure off when it happens. The trick is just recognizing it and knowing that it can't happen all the time.   That pressure being gone makes me just rejuvenated and ready to rock it tomorrow!

This morning I woke up and laid in bed.  I really toyed with options.  I had excuses galore why I couldn't run.  Seriously..the roads might have patches of ice...after all we did have precipitation yesterday.  Todd wanted breakfast...and I do try to play the good wife role even when I'm frustrated at things in the marriage. (and he is working tonight and I do try to make at least one meal each day).  Excuses excuses excuses.  I finally settled on the fact that I would make him breakfast (and me too) and THEN go on my run.  Today was a 22 minute straight run.....that is why all the excuses were pouring through my head.  Fear fear fear.  (I am beginning to hate that word...even as I smash it to smithereens!).   

I made a somewhat nutritious breakfast...nicely well rounded.  For me I had an egg and cheese sandwich and hash browns. (Todd had more and cooked differently..but I don't like eggs, I have to disguise them if I want to eat them).  I cleaned up and slowly changed my clothes.  I decided to run down my road this morning...it saves the time driving to the battlefield (which is only a couple miles away...but still).  I started off.  The first half of my run was marked with a malfunction of my running app (the C25K app....my music shut off and I couldn't fix it).  Not a problem...I ran without music.  I used that time to pray.  The app is supposed to notify me at the half way mark (and when I'm on my road doing an out and back run I turn at that mark).  I ran...and ran...and ran ...and finally gave in and looked at my phone.  Dang it...I had missed the half way mark notice...but the good news...I was already 13 minutes into my 22 minutes.  I fiddled with the app and miraculously got the music going again.  Thank heavens.  The music started and something that I had been ignoring for a while started to rear it's ugly head.  You see...that food that I had for breakfast was sloshing around in my gut.  Yes....sloshing and it was not a good feeling.  At about 14 minutes in I was heaving.  It wasn't much...just nasty.  I spit and kept going...without really even breaking my stride.  I won't lie....part of me wanted to quit.  But I KNEW why I was feeling queasy and ill.  It was because I ate food very shortly before going out running.  I finished that 22 minutes and by golly I went an extra 30 seconds of running...just to prove it to myself that I could!   I wasn't letting anything keep me down.       And lets just say....LESSON LEARNED!  Breakfast AFTER run...never before! (although the string cheese before a run seems to work really well)

I will admit...today I am filled with self doubt about my weigh in that will be upcoming on Monday.  Freaked out for some reason.  (I prewrote the first half ...about my eating yesterday, last night...and was feeling good).  However, this morning I'm panicked.  Partly because of my extra 250 calories yesterday and partly because it's looking like I'm not going to get the level of exercise in this week that I have been getting.     Deep breath in....deep breath out.  This is life.......not a race.  Accept whatever happens and move on because regardless of what my mind is yelling....I AM doing what is right, good and healthy for my body! (on a side note...I read one of Jillian Michaels books a few years back and she actually recommended that you have a higher caloric day once a week to keep your metabolism 'guessing' and burning).

That said, my eating today is totally planned out!

No zumba!!!!!

When school is cancelled, there is no zumba.  I knew last night that the odds that there would be zumba was pretty slim.  But this mornign it was confirmed.  No zumba....so one hour less of exercise today than I had planned.  What was I going to do?   I got a hair brained idea in my head.  What idea was that?   Why I was going to walk to work, two and a half miles away. It had always been a little inkling of an idea in my head to walk to work...but I had never taken the initiative to do so. They were calling for scads of snow...well over a foot....so this was a good idea to try today.  (I knew I could hook a ride home with any number of people that have a four wheel drive....and I knew that if the snow really did accumulate my little low Honda wouldn't be good to get home)

I started out...I was running a bit late because I had to find my snow boots. Little did I know....

I started out and the road was slushy. Within a mile even that slush started to disappear! I was happy as a lark walking along. At about mile two I wished that I had just rushed the wet feet with my tennis shoes as the ball of my left foot was burning as if it were getting a blister. (I'm hoping not as that will make tomorrow's run annoying and painful...a 22 minute straight run). The wind whipped on the open field sections.

I made it! I'm tickled. This idea has been in my head for a while...I've always let fear keep me from it. Why...it was just a 45 minute walk? These fears are stupid! Lol

Sniff sniff...what is that?

Last night at zumba my legs were heavy heavy heavy.  I pushed through though.  I went home and watched The Biggest Loser.  It was the makeover week.  I always find that week intriguing because it's almost as if that is the first time that the contestants realize how much they have shrunk.  It's almost like that is the episode where they see their efforts for the first time.  After TBL, I went to bed.  The plan was to get in bed and read for a while...at least until Todd came home.  However, I crawled into bed and realized how tired I was....I never picked up the kindle.....I was asleep in mere minutes.  I was so sound asleep that I never even heard Todd come home late when he got off of work.  (he is still sleeping on the couch...has been ever since he got sick...he may have wanted to come back to bed last night but I'm sure I was sprawled across the whole bed and that kinda disallowed his return...ahh what a pity).

I woke up early and was  ready to start my day.  I laid in bed and texted someone about taking their pictures. (I'm so excited!...I love photography...and I'm itching for a chance to do some 'real' photography versus the quick snaps on my cell phone that I have been using on my blog of late.)    I finally got up, did a bit of laundry and dressed for a nice winter jog and I headed to the battlefield.  I started.  It wasn't a bad run.  I was tickled to see that my breathing was pretty well regulated the whole time.  Maybe the panicky breathing that marked the first few weeks of running is behind me.  :-)   Amazing that my breathing today was so easy.....my bucolic run was through fields that had just been spread with manure.  Fun stuff.....ahhhh fresh country air!

 

Freshly spread manure and my shadow

I was alone for most of my run. (an old man was out at one of the privately owned houses and I stopped and said high to him...I was actually already done with my run and was just cooling down).  The battlefield was empty.  When it's cold this is the case in the mornings!  I guess most people are sane and stay in where it's warm!  No fear...I had lots of guards to monitor my progress!

One of my many guards

Life is keeping me busy..don't know how but it feels like I'm on the go constantly.  Oh well, it's working for me.  I weighed myself today just for ME...my official weigh in is on Monday.  The scales were friendly today......it's looking like I may make my 20 pound mark for this year very soon..... Maybe I should start looking for my next charm (I've got an idea of what I'm going to get).   I'm utterly focused on my goals and nothing is going to derail me!

Desi the cat grudgingly accepts me...he is most definitely Todd's cat.  He doesn't usually come near me.  There are two exceptions!  One, he is a ham and LOVES to have his picture taken....he poses and lets me near him with my camera.  (Todd swears that the wound on his nose was inflicted by one of MY cats.  I cry foul and say that none of MY cats would do anything like that...surely it was a self inflicted wound!)

The other exception is ice cream.  Desi LOVES ice cream.  I had enough calories to enjoy some ice cream last night.  Desi sniffed at it and would have started licking it had I not scooped my bowl away!

Where is MaryFran????

I've been keeping track of my weight since Friday.  I weighed myself for the start of the new month.  I saw that it was going to be a tight loss month.  I wasn't surprised.  I had a huge loss last week.  I watched my weight everyday through the weekend......I held steady. I watched carefully because the monthly ick was actually due to start late last week...I waited and watched the scales (for anyone reading this that has no clue what I'm talking about I'm unlucky enough that the monthly ick is usually precipitated by a spike in my weight...water weight...but a spike none-the-less).  I drank my water like a fiend....trying to forestall that weight gain.  I just didn't want to see any weight gain.  The ick did start...and I didn't see a huge spike (YAY).  My final weigh in result for this week....I lost three tenths of a pound.

Part of me is super frustrated with my 3/10ths of a pound.  Seriously only three tenths of a pound?  By rights.....by the calorie counts...by my efforts, the loss should much higher!  It frustrates me to no end.  There is a small part of me that screams to stop.  But then I think about what I want out of my life.  There are places that I want to go...clothes that I want to wear.   A life that I want to lead.....and I want to lead it as a thin person.  I know that my inner happiness should allow me to lead a happy life as a fat girl.  My happiness is not contingent upon my weight.  Inner peace and happiness comes from within my soul and I know that.  Weight has nothing to do with that inner happiness.  But dammit...I WANT TO BE THIN!  And I WILL be!  I"m focusing on that desire and pushing through the disappointment that lurks within me at my eensy tiny weight loss (even though I did somewhat expect it).


 Soooo, we are being told by the weather forecasters that we need to batten down the hatches because there is a better than good chance that we will be getting hammered with snow mid week.  I've heard conflicting reports of how much snow we will be getting.....it's anywhere from one foot to two feet.  When you are with that much snow does it really make a difference between one foot or two?   haa haa haa     So the craziest thing occurred to me today.   As they predict the snow to hi, part of me has that hope that work will be closed at least one day.  That is the good part.  But then A panic sets into me and my heart stops!  You see, it messes up my exercise plans.  I am on a roll.   How will it mess up my exercise plans?   Well,  if it is snowing Tuesday night early enough, I will have to forgo Zumba on Tuesday night.  If it's snowing on Wednesday that evening of zumba will be canceled.  Getting to the gym...a half hour drive away will be impossible too!   Even worse?   If we get a foot or two of snow...how will I go out and jog on the roads on Thursday (which is my run day...and it's a 22 minute straight run)???    Yes, I'm worried about my exercise plans.  That said, I have come up with an alternate plan.  I do own an exercise bike and I figure I will hop on the exercise bike and ride an hour here an an hour there.  I also will be spending time shoveling the driveway...so that is good exercise also.  That plan calmed my racing heart and helped to push down the panic about zumba and not being able to make it to the gym at least.  However, the missed run is just really freaking me out!!!!!!  I don't want to get off track with my running!  I'm doing so good!  I need to do my runs!

  Yeah, who is this girl?  I have no clue where MaryFran went and who has replaced her...but it's kinda scary!  

Ready and Waiting

As I regained the weight, I would just shove clothes toward the back of the closet.  At one point I bought bit 33 gallon bins and emptied the closet of everything that I could not wear.  I shoved those bins into the corners and along the wall of my walk in closet.  I ignored them, but knew that my 'thin' clothes were in them.  I decided to pull those bins out...sort out the clothes and repack them in a way that I can more readily access the clothes that I will need as I lose the weight. I decided that I would also not put the bins back into the closet...I would cart them to the library and sit them on the futon.  Easy Access for me to dig out what I need as I lose! (and it's not like we use that futon anyway....it is a leftover from my husbands premarriage days and is slated to go to the dump this year).  I started unloading the closet...the bins must have multiplied.  I pulled out not one...not two...not three but seven bins shoved to the gills with clothes.   I was ready to sort.


What did I find?   I found that most of the tops were from my smaller size...as I had gained weight I had gone to leaving the shirts open and using it camisols or teeshirts under them to extend the wear. Furthermoer, I really never weeded out the smaller shirts in the mid sizes...so they are still in my drawers and in my closet.  (project for another day???)   I put all of those shirts/tops in boxes and carted them to the library.  All the pants and skirts I laid in stacks according to size.  I rebinned them small stuff going upward and stacked those crates in order of sizes so that the biggest sizes are on top.  I started a bin of 'too big' clothes...and left out some clothes that I can wear right now that I didn't realize. 

I AM READY!!!  BRING IT ON!!!!!

Never say never

This morning I woke up and did my typical morning routine.  I laid in bed and checked my mail.  Hey, I like my lazy morning wake-ups!   My inbox contained an email that immediately caught my interest.  It was from "Friend Extraordinaire"  (I'm naming her that because I've never really asked her permission to use her name and stories in my blog....)  I immediately wrote a long arse response to her (on my iphone too boot, which tells you how important it was to me, long responses are usually written on a computer).  The email exchange went like this.....(if you don't want to be bored with reading the email exchange, just skip the italicized words.......I won't cry too hard about you skipping my well thought out response....but promise you that it the big news is at the end!

To MaryFran 
......I'm bringing my running clothes but not hopeful..
I'm really not feeling ready for this run., My body doesn't seem to be getting used to the running. What is wrong with me. I'm pity partying tonight. I know I'm working hard, I want to see major results. Help!
                                             from friend extraordinaire

That email obviously demanded an immediate response.  So respond I did.....I poured my heart and feelings into the email....

To Friend Extraordinaire,

I hear you....I'm still struggling with this congestion...and the war is going on in my mind....run or not run. I know that a big part of my indecision is not the congestion/cold/sinus issues. A big part is fear because I know that today is a huge run...as you said, a rite of passage. I don't think our bodies are going to feel 'used to' running yet. We are continually pushing ourselves ...this program keeps us pressing forward.

My thought is this...when we first started we struggled with that 1.5 minute run. I remember that first time we ran together and we hit our first 3 minute run....we gasped and moaned and lamented about it ever being over....yet just a few short weeks we have accomplished 8 minute long runs. We have followed the program....and it hasn't let us down yet had it???! So lets have faith that it won't let us down today either!!

One more thought on our bodies getting used to running....we've only been at this five weeks....right now our bodies are simply trying to adjust to actually jogging....as the muscles and stamina builds we will gradually grow more comfortable.  

That all said, running may not be for you, me or us. I AM however going to see this c25k program to completion. I've started it three times before. Three times I quit. I quit when it got rough...when my body ached...when the weather got icky...etc. I need to finish it , get to that point that I really can run....just pop some headphones on and run without waiting for a walk/run cue and THEN decide about running as a hobby/form of exercise.

Pity parties allowed on occasion!!! Just don't let your pity party derail you. Major results ARE coming down our lane. We can't see them yet...but they will soon be knocking on our doorstep....we are doing everything right...there is no reason why major results will not come a knocking!!! Well there is ONE reason....and that's if we give up!

You've got this girl!! I'm attempting my run at roughly 8AM...ill let you know how it goes. I will be crossing my fingers and praying that you smash your run...and that no matter what happens on either of our runs, that we both accept that we are doing it (and that we did a hell of a lot more than we ever could have dreamed of back in January) and congratulate ourselves for our effort!!
                                              MaryFran

Yeah, I think that was an inspired email myself!  So I wrote the email, laid around for a few more minutes and then got out of bed.  And it hit me....I felt like I had been hit with a ton of bricks.  This sinus issue....really was probably now a full fledged cold.  The constant war in my head started....but then I realized that it was all excuses.  You can exercise with a cold.  I have in the past.  It's not a deal breaker.  What was the deal breaker was the fact that I wasn't sure I could do it. I mean holy heck, I was scheduled to run for 20 minutes straight! I battled with these thoughts RIGHT AFTER I wrote that email.  I felt two faced.  What a hypocrite!   Sooo, I threw on my exercise clothes....shoved a wad of tissues into the pocket of my outer layer and headed out.

~~ The warm up walk was fine....a little cold around my neck as today I didn't wear a hooded sweatshirt ...that hood really helps keep the draft out of your shirt!

Mid run

~ The little voice in my head (AKA known as the C25K app on my phone) told me to run and I started.  The first five minutes were hellish.  My thigh muscles were screaming in freakish agony as I propelled myself forward.
~  Round about 5 minutes I was in my groove and felt pretty good.  My legs stopped hurting and I was rockin' in (as much as I can in my ungraceful run...)

~I made a mistake and looked at the timer at 10 minutes and I was filled with utter self doubt.  Seriously?  I had to run for 10 more minutes!  I couldn't do that.  I'm sick as a dog, hacking up a lung (ok, it's actually still the sinus gunk that my cough is trying to get out of my body and not from my lungs), my nose is running like a sieve.....)and I'm out here in the cold weather RUNNING?   What am I thinking?   I wanted to walk.  I soooo wanted to walk.  But I didn't.  I kept going.
~ Round about minute 15, I started to believe that I was really going to do it.
~ Right around minute 18 1/2 I started to cry.  No, not in pain and misery.....but because I thought it wasn't possible.  I can't remember EVER in my life running for 20 minutes straight.  Seriously...ME?????  RUNNING????

I DID IT!  Not impressed yet???  I did it while I am sick!!!!   I set my mind to it and I did it.   Yes, I know not to push it too much while sick.  I'm not foolhardy!  They actually say exercise with a cold isn't a no no so I'm good!

update......I just got an update....my friend extraordinare has also completed her dreaded week 5 day three 20 minute run today!!!!!   GO SHERRY!!!!

Shashing through fear

Tuesday night I took off from exercise and stayed home.  I knew that I was coming down with some ailment and I wasn't sure what it was.  I didn't want to exacerbate any potential sickness by doing any heavy duty exercise only to come home so whipped, tired and more sick.  So I went home and took it easy.  I woke up on Wednesday and I could feel the sinus pressure in my head and the sinus drainage.  The drainage causes my throat to hurt and gives me a slight cough...but nothing major.  Overall, I felt pretty good.  No overwhelming tiredness, no achy feeling and most importantly no fever.  I pondered exercise all day long.  OK, I didn't ponder....a war was waged in my head. My fat mini me and my thin mini me were at war and the cacophony of noise in my head from this war was deafening.  On one shoulder, screaming into my ear was my fat mini me.  My fat mini me was yelling "You are sick, do not exercise...do not exercise...do not exercise!"  The thin mini me was yelling equally as loud.....but the message was very different. What was thin mini me saying?   Thin mini me was saying "Excuses....they are all excuses. Sinus drainage and pressure is NOT an illness, just an inconvenience.  They are excuses to keep you fat and far from your goal."    The battle raged in my head loud.  I listened.  I pondered. And then I made my choice.  Using sinus pressure (which I know from experience can last for weeks) IS an excuse.  So I tested the waters.  I went for my run.  I did the next installment in my c25k thing.  I felt pretty good after that so decided to roll with it.  I headed off to zumba.   It went well.   1.5 hours of pretty intense exercise completed for the day.

This morning the war started to wage again.....but this morning it wasn't the excuse of not feeling 100% (still sinus pressure).  Well, maybe a wee bit.  This morning it was fear.   That old fear reared it's ugly head.  You see, I had decided that I would go to the gym.  I decided that I would try an exercise class at the gym.  I am a chicken.  I do zumba...but I'm in my comfortable class...my zumba class is my comfort zone.  Going to a new class at the gym is totally out of my comfort zone.My confidence is racked with fear....fear about being the odd man out, the only one that doesn't know what I'm doing...etc etc etc.   Then to make matters worse, I could have to rush to the locker rooms and face that fear of the locker room showers again.  I faced it last week and I know it's not bad, but the fear wasn't totally gone.  Fear........it's debilitating.  I ALMOST stayed home and rode the exercise bike.  But then I said, "screw this" and with my stomach churning I set out.   I did 30 minutes on the elliptical trainer while I waited for my class to start and then I headed into a zumba sentao class.   It was very neat to see a different approach to the same class that I attend on Monday nights.  Anita is still top notch in my book. Anita approaches the chair as an instrument to fitness.  This gal approached the chair as if were a stripper pole.  I won't lie...it was fun.  She was hard to follow...and while she wore a speaker that was piped through the sound system, the music mostly drowned her out ....which is OK because she sang along with the music most of the time.  Zumba is not a class where they usually call out instructions, so i wasn't expecting it.  I will be trying one of her 'regular' zumba classes soon I'm sure and we shall see how that is.    Regardless......I did 90 minutes of exercise this morning.  I faced the fear of doing a class.....I faced the fear of the showers.....I faced the rush between the class and my scheduled time to start work.  I faced it...and I SMASHED my fears!  :-)

Fear only serves one purpose...and that is to keep us from achieving the greatness that we are capable of!

NO FEAR~~~~~SHAZAM!

Coexistence

I had a blog post all planned out for today.  Really....it was written and ready for final review this morning before hitting the publish button.  It was about negativity.  Not self negativity...but negativity in others as they listen to us talk about our journey.  You know the kind of person..."ohhh that will never work...."  and they continue to spout all kinds of negativity   The kind of person that then couches it in terms of encouragement by following it with 'but good luck' (insert sarcastic tone).  Negativity.....so destructive.  

But then something happened......ironically enough after my post yesterday when I was saying that 'life happens......roll with the punches and learn to LIVE in a healthy manner even as you embrace life.'   I felt on top of the world.  I went up to the lunch room at work and ate my lunch.  It was a satisfying and healthy lunch.  I went back downstairs and about an hour later I realized that I had left something up on the table.  I trotted back upstairs. I say trotted because I don't think I ran....but I didn't dilly dally as I went up the stairs.  As I was coming back downstairs I felt this incredible pain/pressure in my chest.  It surprised me. I had a bout of chest pains back in late 2010 into 2011 where I had chest pains.  It was  months of constant rounds of doctors and tests...they never did figure out what was wrong and occasionally the chest pains still flare up...but it's been a long while since I had one.  And then about an hour after that my throat started to hurt.  Seriously?   I'm getting sick?????   NOOOOOOOO  OK, this doesn't surprise me too much either because Todd has been horribly sick since Saturday.  OK, he's a guy so horribly sick means a different thing when it's a guy.....but seriously, he's been perched on the couch pretty much constantly from Saturday through right now. (although yesterday he was doing much better so I expect him to be back up and moving this morning).  My first thought was OHHH NO....I'm on such a roll with exercise...I don't want to stop now.  I have zumba....and running...and the gym!   (shocked the heck out of me to have those thoughts as my first ones)   But then I straightened my back and said to myself......this is life.   OK OK OK...actually I started quoting the postman's creed...."Neither rain nor snow......."   NOTHING is going to keep me off of my mission.   Does that mean I went to zumba anyway.  No, I went home and rested.  Does it mean I'll go to zumba tonight.  Who knows.....I'll let you know when that time comes.   What does it mean?   It means that I will accept that I was not and may not be able to exercise to the extent that I want this week.     It does mean that I'll tighten up my eating.  I eat pretty close to my caloric goals to begin with...but I do admit that on exercise days I don't panic if I'm over on my calorie count.  So I typically run about 50- 100 or so calories over.  Well if I"m not exercising.......yup......tighten up and bring myself back down to my goal.   It's accepting that this may and will slow down my weight loss. (This is a lifestyle anyway...not a race!)I may only get a maintain number on the scales this week.  But it's being OK with it because LIFE HAPPENS and no strict diet or exercise plan can withstand the daily ins and outs of life on a daily basis for long term.   They need to coexist peacefully and in harmony.

Shazam!

Shazam!

I've gone off of weight watchers.  The program worked for me at one point...but it stopped working for me.  I have my theories...but I'll keep my mouth shut.  Regardless, this time I am going it alone.  I've tried to surround myself with a support system....friends that are on the same page, challenges, blogs...you name it!   Sherry and I are working up our own plan.  It's called the Shazam plan...and it is a plan for LIFE.  It is a plan that realizes that there WILL be days where you just want to eat everything and honestly, you almost can't help yourself!   Think the cracker debacle.  That wasn't as bad as it could have been....I consciously made the choice and I worked my arse off to negate the calories in those crackers, strawberries and fruit dip. And I still lost at my next weigh in..BIG time!   That's what it's about...SHAZAM!    There will be situations that you have little control over.  I didn't ask my friend if I can share, so I hope she's not mad...but she went to a birthday party this past weekend.  She was there 6-7 hours...over a meal time.  They offered an overabundance of food.  Pizza....two different kinds of Doritos and much  more, nothing of which could be at all construed as healthy fare.  Drinks were regular soda and fruit punch.  Control was taken out of her hands.  She made the best choices and in small quantities but she didn't beat herself up over eating food that she may not normally have chosen....she knows that these things will happen and immediately got back on track.  SHAZAM!    This is LIFE!   My manager at work is on this journey.  Yesterday I asked her if she tracked over the weekend. She immediately jumped in and said "ohhh I fell off the bandwagon...I do know where I messed up though.".  It was a birthday celebration that knocked her down...hers (and seriously, if someone surprises you with a birthday cake.....isn't it rude to not have at least a small piece....when it's YOUR birthday???)   I just laughed and said...I didn't ask if you fell off the bandwagon...I asked if you TRACKED through it, or if you gave up.   She looked at me and grinned and said "I tracked every bite...and I wasn't over by that much if I want to be honest with myself"   SHAZAM!   The shazam plan is full of exercise and activity...but it's also saying that sometimes things will happen.  A tire will go bad and you won't be able to make zumba  (yup, the shazam plan encountered that two weeks ago) .....the flu will hit keeping you from exercise.  Whatever.  It's LIFE.  This journey is not about being all hard core.  It's about accepting life's idiosyncrasies and not letting them derail you.  This journey is about figuring out how to live in order to really LIVE. 

Why I am soooo dead set against going about this journey so totally stringent upon my eating rules and my exercise plan is that I know first hand what happens when one leads a life of denial and utter strictness.  If you've been following my blog for any time, you will know that I have lost the weight before.  I lost a total of 135 pounds.    I did a lot of that by denial.  I just said no.  Absolutely not, I will not have dessert.  It worked.  I was hugely successful.  (if you call 135 pounds successful!)   The problem occurred when I was out in the real world after I had reached my goal weight (where my doctor wanted me to be, which weight watchers accepted with a note from him...and that number was 180 pounds).  The problem actually occurred when I went on vacation the first time after reaching my goal.  It was ugly.  I started strong....but then I splurged ONCE.....and once because TWICE...and two times became a daily occurrence.  It was ugly!   (tasty, but ugly!)   I had lived in my exercise bubble of 'everything is perfect....very little desserts....no slacking on exercise' for so long that when I got out in the real world and encountered some issues, I fell apart.  I never recovered.  That started my downward spiral.  (read the blog entry detailing the vacation....it's ugly!  Be forewarned....I didn't realize that it was the beginning of my  downward spiral so I was very flippant about my eating transgressions.)  I cut loose on that vacation because I hadn't lived in the real world......not again. I will be firmly entrenched in the real world while I lose this weight.  I will have my cake and lose weight too!   I will just be eating the cake sparingly.....working my arse off to negate calories if I do splurge....hopping back on track when life causes me to stumble.

Ahhh yes, that brings me to cake..... Sometimes in life we just really really really want to have our cake and eat it too.  In the past I have purchased these warm delight minis to have around the house.  They aren't too bad.  But they are pricey.  But they work to satisfy that craving.  I have my cake fix but don't end up with a 9x13 pan of cake with only one piece out of it.  We all know how long it would last with only one piece out of the pan.  Not long.  So while this convenience food is more expensive than I would like, I have been more than willing to pay.  That is until this week.  I found  recipe.  It's most commonly referred to the 3-2-1 cake.  You'll understand it soon enough.....

 The mix is a box of angel food cake mix and a box of regular cake mix.  You can use any flavor that you want.  For my first attempt I choose devils food cake. (only because it made me laugh mixing angel food with devils food).  Wow, I dont' know what happened to that picture, rather blurry!

 

 

 

       Take the two boxes of cake mix and combine them together well.  I did mine in bowl, but  a gallon ziploc bag would work very well (and then can be used for storage also). 

At this point your cake mix is ready for storage.  I store a lot of things in 1/2 gallon canning jars.  Use whatever airtight container you have around the house.

Now comes the 3-2-1 part.  When you need a quick fix for a cake....place three tablespoons of the mix into a small bowl or coffee cup.     Add two tablespoons of water.  Mix well.  I noticed that  it had a very bubbly and frothy feel to the mixture.  It made me nervous, but I forged ahead.

Microwave for one minute.  Voila!  You have cake!   Top it with fruit, or cool whip or even ice cream (depending on your available calories for the day).  The top looked very bubbly and light, you can tell there is angel food cake mix in this mixture, when I dipped my spoon into the 'cake' it looked just like a normal cake.  I served mine with ice cream and it was a pretty good cake fix!  Ohhhh the cake, turned out to be 126 calories...the fat free vanilla ice cream was 90 calories...not  bad, a dessert for 216 calories!...and the best part...no temptation to eat the leftover pieces this morning for breakfast!  And price wise...I spent $3 for the two cake mixes...and it will give me 32 little cakes.  I used to spend $3 on a box containing two prepackaged cakes and they were 150 calories.  I win all around!

SHAZAM!

Love meets hate and a little celebration

OK, it's goign to be a big celebration...but we will get to that soon!

I love how exercise makes me feel.  I feel ready to conquer the world.  I feel ready to tackle whatever obstacles come my way.  I feel alive!  It really is amazing how awesome I feel.  However there are some downsides..........(these are serious problems, even if you decide that you need to laugh at my downsides)

Yes, we must face them.

 It takes planning...I have had to sit down yesterday and really think about my plans for Monday.  I packed my gym bag because zumba comes immediately after work.  So soon after work that I actually change at work.  I was planning a run this morning before work, so packing my bag yesterday really was the way to go, the morning run usually causes me to run tight on time. OK, so preplanned things isn't really a major issue or downside, it's just a fact of life and just one more thing on my plate.  But in the grand scheme of things inconsequential and probably a good thing..planning has never hurt anyone!  Of course the biggest problem with this is the fact that the cats always seem to want to lay in my packed gym bag, so then I look like a hairy beast while I exercise!
The second and more annoying issue is laundry.  Seriously!  Extra towels because of so many extra showers.  Extra clothes because every workout creates another outfit.  Lets take today for example....I woke up and threw the clothes I slept in into the laundry....I ran this morning (in 24 degree weather might I add).  So I had socks, gloves, hat, cuddle duds (long underwear), exercise pants, sports bra, tee shirt and two sweatshirts that all  went into the laundry (sometimes the top sweatshirt doesn't make it to the laundry I admit...it is on an outer layer so it doesn't really get that dirty does it.......and yes, the gloves need to be washed after I run....why?  Well my eyes tear in the cold and my nose runs too....gloves..well....lets just say they need washed)...then a shower after my run so towel got dirty, I am at work now...so there is another complete outfit from top to bottom.  I have zumba tonight after work..luckily it's inside so I don't have the multiple layers but it still creates another dirty outfit....sports bra, pair of pants and sweatshirt and sports top.  I will go home and shower after that...so more towels.  And then whatever I wear in the evening at home.  That is a full load of laundry (should I ignore the rules of separating colors and throw everything into the same washer!) I feel like I do laundry and then there is a full basket within hours.  I can't blame it all on exercise of course, but there are an awful lot of exercise related items in the laundry now-a-days.  Once again, not a total issue in the grand scheme of things....but just something new that I noticed.

Will I let it stop me from my goals.  Nope....I just better remember to pick up more laundry detergent at the store soon!  I've got my focus set and nothing will stop me!   There may be roadblocks.  There may be obstacles.  Nothing however, will stop me...it may slow my progress...it may make me frustrated...but there is NO looking back.  Forward only!!!!

Sooooooooo on to the celebration!!!!    Drum roll please......the exercise and healthy eating is paying off...BIG time.  This week I lost 4 pounds.  :-)  That is 18.5 pounds since January first!  WOO HOOO!!!  

So that brings me to my dilema.  I recommitted at the beginning of this year (actually I recommitted the day after Christmas but didn't start weighing until New Years day).  I am extremely proud of those 18.5 pounds.  However, should I just be looking at the 18.5 pounds as my weight loss...or should I count my weight loss from my highest overall...in which case I have lost 80.7 pounds.  I feel like I'm cheating this go round if I include that previous loss....but then I feel like I'm ignoring the hard work that went into the previous weight loss. 

Either way....I'm going to win this battle!

What am I beconing????

Friday was my day or rest from exercise.  I had actually also planned on taking off on Saturday.  However, I got toward the end of the day and dang, if I didn't just simply want to eat some ice cream.  I thought about it.  I knew that eating 1/2 cup of ice cream (fat free 90 calories) and being over by those 90 calories would not break me.  But I didn't want to.  So I got on the exercise bike for a really light 30 minute ride to earn myself some calories.  Day of rest?  Yeah, I still call it a day of rest.   (Friday was still a total day of rest...much needed and well deserved.)

Today started my new week of exercise.  I started it off with a bang.  The alarm went off early and I headed to the battlefield where I met up with Sherry.  Both of us struggled with the run today.  We think part of the issue is that both of us have this desire to run...but both of us have a bit of a mental block to running.  Because of this we are cheating on our workouts...I run on Sunday and I'm on a high so I rush through my three runs and then don't do anything.....Sherry does the opposite..pushes the runs toward the end of the week and then has them all bunched together.  Both approaches are not helping us.  (OK, they are helping because we are getting a workout...but it's not helping in terms of training to run...we need consistency.  We talked about it...and we have committed to running on Monday, Wednesday and Friday this week.  Schedule wise it's not possible for us to run together this week...but we are going to be virtually working out together....getting the runs in on the same day!

Anyway, this morning at the battlefield, we ran...we walked.  And if that wasn't enough, we then headed up to the outlets.....the Reebok store in particular.   Why in the world did we head to the Reebok store at 9AM on a Sunday morning before the store was even open?   Well, let me tell you.  My zumba instructor was holding an hour of zumba at the store.  FREE!   As if an hour of free zumba isn't enough, if you attended the hour of zumba you were given the employee discount for your purchases in the store.  40% off!   I have been needing new shoes for zumba. I had purchased running shoes a few weeks back, but really needed new shoes for zumba. 

Holy cow, have I become some exercise demon?   I'm 40 years ago and up until recently I would have never assumed that there was a need for different types of tennis shoes for different activities.  I was under the belief that if you had a pair of tennis shoes, you were good.  Now I have everyday tennis shoes, running tennis shoes AND zumba tennis shoes.  What am I becoming????? 

The sneak peak (and weigh in for a Sunday challenge) was good....can't wait until tomorrow to see the official weigh in!!!

I have a friend that has her cosmetology licence.  She's had it for a while (20 years) but always hated working in a salon.  So she just does friends and family.  Just recently she decided that she has always hated her job and that she has always wanted to follow her dreams.  She is in the process of putting a salon into her home...and she is planning on going into business for herself. She has been doing makeovers of her friends to build up a portfolio that she can show prospective clients.  She also knows that the free ones she is doing now will (and already has) create referrals for her.  So she asked me if I would be a guinea pig.  I decided to roll with it and I gave her free reign......So this is my 'before picture'.  This picture was taken within the last few weeks.  And the end results is as follows............

These two are of course the after pictures.  I very rarely take the time to dry my hair straight and NEVER take the time to pull out the flatiron (I think I dont' even have one anymore...so my hair will be back to it's normal curly state).   I'm not a makeup girl either....but hey, it was fun!  I'm not sure..but I think that I look older after my makeover.