Combating headaches

I keep vowing to start exercise and to get back in shape. I have the greatest and grandest intentions. But it seems like something always happens to keep me from starting and continuing the fitness routines.  Honestly, they are always valid excuses and reasons. We have had a lot of rain and that has kept us from getting on our bicycles.  We get home from work late.  We have also really struggled with headaches. Sinus pressure and allergy headaches to be exact. Debilitating on some days… And it take everything in us to just make it through the workday. Exercise gets pushed way far down the line in importance. I told you these excuses were valid.

This past weekend we were lounging around at home. We felt sluggish and exhausted. We had massive pressure headaches. The gorgeous weather? We forced ourselves to enjoy it as much as possible, but we felt horrible. That horrible feeling sparked a conversation between us....

When Jason and I first met, I was in incredible shape, probably the best I have ever been in. I was doing Zumba multiple times a week, I was walking a lot and I was consistently running., I was coming off of my training for the aborted half marathon. I do not remember any weekend that I had to cancel a hike because my head hurt or because I felt sluggish. In fact, many Saturdays I would wake up… Go for a 3 mile run… Get home push mow for an hour… Shower and then meet up with Jason to go hiking. I wasn’t kidding a few posts ago when I admitted that my fitness level is currently in the garbage can, because I don’t think I could do that right now.

That first year that Jason and I were together, we never had to cancel a hike because of his allergies. Oh yeah, he may have mentioned them in passing but they weren’t the debilitating kind that make you want to curl up in a ball and do nothing. We talked about this the other day. It was almost a year to a year and a half before his headaches kicked in really bad. Now I have mentioned that his headaches are allergy induced. So did we just luck out with easy allergy seasons up to now???  Maybe. However I think it has more to do with our fitness levels.

During that first year or two, we were hiking mad miles. In the afternoon and evening when we were free from work, we got together end went out for long walks. Miles of walking. Our relationship grew strong during that activity. Our bodies grew stronger during that time too. And I personally think that we were healthier and that our bodies were able to fight off the allergies and the symptoms that go with the allergies much easier.

Last week I was in charge of The morning inspirational quote at work. I chose two quotes from Theodore Roosevelt. While I was looking at them, I read a little bit about our 26th president. As a young child he suffered from severe asthma attacks. By accident, he figured out and learned that strenuous physical activity actually made him stronger and his body reacted in such a way that the asthma was contained and managed… It was under control. Some skeptics will say he just grew out of it, but he fervently believed in the strenuous activity… And strenuous living. Push oneself to the max was his belief. He actually lived his life strenuously… Choosing the hardest route and then reaping the greatest rewards.

Maybe I’m way off base here. Maybe the allergy seasons have just been that horrible the last two years. Maybe I have picked up allergies that I never had before. But maybe… Just maybe the fact that I have become a slug is playing a part. Well, do you know what? I can’t change how bad the  allergy season is… Mother nature decides that. I also cannot change how my body reacts to these pollens (not without medicine). But, I can change my fitness level.

Slowly dwindling supply

I've had a few punches in my progress the last 12 hours or so......lets just call them whammys!

The first Whammy.....(and I apologize...number one may be a bit long). It's a whammy to my heart...but also a reminder to myself...an important lesson!

Sometimes we don't realize the impact that we have on others.  In a way it is mind boggling!  I was just reminded of this in a very real way within the last 24 hours....  Let me start at the beginning...about 30 years ago...junior high and high school.   I was friendly to all and counted most people in the school as 'friends....more acquaintance friends'.  I had some that I was a little closer with.....One of those was Jennifer.   We spent every lunch together sitting on a bench on the quad.   We rode the bus together.  We had multiple classes together.  She was quiet, smart and really sweet.   She had the deepest southern accent.  We got along great.  I moved away right around graduation...and we have not seen each other since then.  However we have faithfully kept in touch via Letters, Christmas cards (even during crazy college years when I almost no one got Christmas cards from me, I would go to hallmark and buy a special one for her) and once social media hit through Facebook and other such mediums. In recent years sadly it was only random 'likes' and comments on Facebook and the yearly Christmas card.  Last night when my cell phone rang with an unknown number I almost didn't answer it.  Telemarketer or some such none sense I was sure.   But the Dade City, Florida displayed on my phone made me curious...because well I lived in Brooksville which is right near there...and of course Jennifer lives in Dade City.   I answered it expecting to shortly thereafter hang up on a sales call. (Yes I need to get myself back on the do not call list...I must have fallen off that lost!).    The voice on the other end took me right back to the years I lived in Florida.  Deep southern accent ....it was Missy...Jennifer's sister (incidentally missy was just a year or two older so I knew her too).   She was calling to tell me that Jennifer had passed away that morning.  I was in shock.  I talked to missy for a while and found out what happened (she had cancer and had requested that it be kept as private as possible and since I'm 20 hours or so away by car I never knew).    

So a whammy to lose my friend....but also a huge reminder to myself that my actions and behaviors really affect people!!!   Here is someone that was shy and quiet ...I extended my friendship to her and 26 years after the last time we saw each other in person....and after years of not really having real contact I am on the call list that she left to notify about her death.  (can we count the FB likes and the Christmas cards as real contact...I'm going to say no!). I don't even recall sharing my cellphone number with her!!!  I either forgot or they had to search to get my number!  It tells me that my friendship had a larger impact upon her life than I may have realized.

I feel guilty....I could have been such a better friend in recent years!  The Internet opens up the world that makes it easier to stay in touch.    When I was in Florida a few years back (2014) I had thought about flying down a day earlier and visiting Jennifer but logistically and financially it would have been difficult.   But I SHOULD have!!! 

  How simple an act of kindness...the extension of friendship really is...but very far reaching in the hearts and lives of those on the receiving end!!!  

Whammy two came while I was on the phone with Missy.  I asked what type of cancer.   Colo-rectal....already spread to the liver at the time of diagnosis.   My heart stopped.   That is exactly what my father is fighting!  I heard the story of Jennifer's fight and while it started with the same diagnosis it sounds like she gave up and stopped fighting.  I'm going to cling to that and to the power of prayer when it comes to my father!!! (Dad is currently receiving radiation in Baltimore...which they indicate will be the last step before surgery....he is concerned about his cat that is home alone....with me and my cats!!!!  I sent him this picture last night.....and yes, shadow is definitely missing his daddy!!!  Just like Ethel is really missing her granddaddy!!)

Dad seems to be handling the radiation with flying colors....just like he did the first rounds of chemo!  We continue to pray!!

Whammy three?  Just the normal monthly ick.

Whammy four????   I woke up with draining sinus ick causing a sore throat and a sinus pressure headache!

You know your day isn't going to go well when you make a stop at the pharmacy and your purchases look like this...

Yes I made a few more purchases while I was there...

In fairness the sweet tarts were buy one get one for 25 cents.  And they are kind of a memory from high school (that's when I used to get them) so it seemed fitting!!

Ohhh and while Jennifer's death is just reminding me to take care of myself to try to be as healthy as possible so that I CAN live far into the future in a healthy manner.....today is just a day that I needed more...

I'm not falling off the rails...but for today I'm going to mourn the loss of my friend,  lament about my failure as a friend, worry about my dad, cough and sniffle through this sinus gunk, and just ride out the monthly ick and its corresponding emotions with a slowly dwindling pile of candy on my work desk!!!!

Shashing through fear

Tuesday night I took off from exercise and stayed home.  I knew that I was coming down with some ailment and I wasn't sure what it was.  I didn't want to exacerbate any potential sickness by doing any heavy duty exercise only to come home so whipped, tired and more sick.  So I went home and took it easy.  I woke up on Wednesday and I could feel the sinus pressure in my head and the sinus drainage.  The drainage causes my throat to hurt and gives me a slight cough...but nothing major.  Overall, I felt pretty good.  No overwhelming tiredness, no achy feeling and most importantly no fever.  I pondered exercise all day long.  OK, I didn't ponder....a war was waged in my head. My fat mini me and my thin mini me were at war and the cacophony of noise in my head from this war was deafening.  On one shoulder, screaming into my ear was my fat mini me.  My fat mini me was yelling "You are sick, do not exercise...do not exercise...do not exercise!"  The thin mini me was yelling equally as loud.....but the message was very different. What was thin mini me saying?   Thin mini me was saying "Excuses....they are all excuses. Sinus drainage and pressure is NOT an illness, just an inconvenience.  They are excuses to keep you fat and far from your goal."    The battle raged in my head loud.  I listened.  I pondered. And then I made my choice.  Using sinus pressure (which I know from experience can last for weeks) IS an excuse.  So I tested the waters.  I went for my run.  I did the next installment in my c25k thing.  I felt pretty good after that so decided to roll with it.  I headed off to zumba.   It went well.   1.5 hours of pretty intense exercise completed for the day.

This morning the war started to wage again.....but this morning it wasn't the excuse of not feeling 100% (still sinus pressure).  Well, maybe a wee bit.  This morning it was fear.   That old fear reared it's ugly head.  You see, I had decided that I would go to the gym.  I decided that I would try an exercise class at the gym.  I am a chicken.  I do zumba...but I'm in my comfortable class...my zumba class is my comfort zone.  Going to a new class at the gym is totally out of my comfort zone.My confidence is racked with fear....fear about being the odd man out, the only one that doesn't know what I'm doing...etc etc etc.   Then to make matters worse, I could have to rush to the locker rooms and face that fear of the locker room showers again.  I faced it last week and I know it's not bad, but the fear wasn't totally gone.  Fear........it's debilitating.  I ALMOST stayed home and rode the exercise bike.  But then I said, "screw this" and with my stomach churning I set out.   I did 30 minutes on the elliptical trainer while I waited for my class to start and then I headed into a zumba sentao class.   It was very neat to see a different approach to the same class that I attend on Monday nights.  Anita is still top notch in my book. Anita approaches the chair as an instrument to fitness.  This gal approached the chair as if were a stripper pole.  I won't lie...it was fun.  She was hard to follow...and while she wore a speaker that was piped through the sound system, the music mostly drowned her out ....which is OK because she sang along with the music most of the time.  Zumba is not a class where they usually call out instructions, so i wasn't expecting it.  I will be trying one of her 'regular' zumba classes soon I'm sure and we shall see how that is.    Regardless......I did 90 minutes of exercise this morning.  I faced the fear of doing a class.....I faced the fear of the showers.....I faced the rush between the class and my scheduled time to start work.  I faced it...and I SMASHED my fears!  :-)

Fear only serves one purpose...and that is to keep us from achieving the greatness that we are capable of!

NO FEAR~~~~~SHAZAM!