No regrets

I planned to run three times this week.   With my schedule the most obvious and easy days to run were the days that I came in at 10 in the morning.  This past week that was Monday, Wednesday and Thursday.  No problem!   Monday came and I pulled on my running gear and hit the road.  Day one down.   Wednesday morning rolled around.  I checked the weather.  It was close to 60° but had a 30% chance of rain for the morning.  That wasn't bad odds!!!  I laced up my shoes and made it to the front door. My mom called out 'its rainy'.  I looked out the window at the wet roads and even though there was no precipitation falling from the skies, I retreated and chose not to run. My decision was in no way my mothers fault...I made the choice.  Me and me alone!  But an hour or so later when my mother looked out the window and announced that my brother was just getting back from his bike ride the regret started!

All day long when I saw that it was nice and that it didn't rain until the mid afternoon. I regretted it.  

On Thursday morning when I woke up to cold and high winds I regretted losing that nice warm run the day before.   The whole time I ran I regretted the loss of that fabulous running weather from Wednesday!

Now as for the three runs...I don't work Saturday so I should be able to make up the list run!  But I still regret losing Wednesday!!!!

Regrets.   As I ran on Thursday I was thinking about regrets.   And I started thinking about regrets in my life.

1.  I regret not leaving my marriage when it first fell apart....happiness could have come my way so many years earlier.
2. I regret not trying to lose the weight at a much much earlier age!
3. I regret not stopping the weight gain after I had lost all the weight!
4. I regret the fact that I was running consistently and I stopped and now I have to start at close to scratch!  (Ok not scratch because I can run a mile...but it's slooow....much slower than when I was running consistently!)
5. I regret not having kids.
6. I regret not putting my health as a priority for so many years.
7. I regret not pushing for a different career path!
8. I regret the fact that I did not run on Wednesday!!

Wow all of my major life regrets were from things I didn't do!!!!    I realized that I never regretted trying something!  My major regrets in life were for NOT doing something!!

The decision to 'not' do something was the catalyst for regret!     So that of course made me think about that runnin Wednesday.  Why had I stopped and given up?? Was I afraid of getting wet?   I've run in the rain before...in cold rain too!    Was I afraid of the cold?  Nope, I had run many runs in cold!!!!!   I just didn't because the rain was an excuse to be lazy.   And I regretted it!!!

Never once have I gone out running and said 'I regret that run!!!!   I shouldn't have gone!   I ALWAYS come back feeling like a million bucks!!   Maybe a bit sore but emotionally recharged and full of energy!    When I pound out a mile or two in some vicious weather I feel like a Viking warrior that has just completed a successful raid!!!!  Totally bad ass!!!!

I want to live a life of no regrets!!!!!   That means I have to do what I set out to do and stop doubting myself so much that I give up and stop!!!

Now for the nitty gritty......bullet point style...just because I can.

**My food is still not the greatest but that just gives me room for improvement right?  I am under that 1800 calorie goal that I set though!!!!

**As I mentioned I did run on Thursday.  I was actually very pleased with my run.  I was just about one minute faster per each mile!  I felt strong and would have gone further but I got a bit of a late start and didn't have the extra time!!!

**I'm drinking my water...some days it's the bare minimum of what I aim for (64 ounces) but I'm drinking!!!

**This morning my heel has bothered me.   Planters Fasciitis hurt.  Nooooo!!!  I do not want that planters fasciitis to read it's ugly head!  If I had KT tape with me I would be taping my foot.  I will be doing that tonight to try to nip this issue in the bud!! I will be freezing a water bottle and rolling my foot tonight too!!!  In the meantime I have a bottle of unfrozen water under my desk and I am standing and rolling my foot on that!!!

**I am planning a run tomorrow morning!   I've got some mileage to make for my running goal for March.  And we are hoping to hike this weekend also!!!

In Like Flynn

I don't have too much to say today.  I just am basically in the mind frame of working to keep moving forward.  I struggle with looking back and saying "I already did this journey once.  I already reached goal once.  I shouldn't be doing this again". I sit back sometimes and say "why did I not do this earlier"   All of those thoughts are negative and self destructive.  It hurts me.  So I'm looking forward and not focusing on the what ifs and should haves.  I'm only focusing on the what is going to be!



My news for the day.....well, I have a 5k that I am registered to run on March 23.  I have thus signed up for another one.  I will be running another 5K on May 18th.  That will be the first day of my vacation...what a great way to start off vacation right???   It is the Paws on the Pavement 5k in Hagerstown, benefiting the Humane Society.  What a great cause!  I'm thinking about working up a tee shirt that honors my kitty cats that I can wear while I run.  (OH my word...I think I know what I'm going to do for my tee shirt!!!   The slogan on the front.....20 paws are better than 4 ....I've got 5 cats of course! The rest will be surprise! Lets just say that I have to look through some pictures and get working in photo shop!)


That crazy fear rears it's head though (don't I have the craziest fears).  I may do this 5k alone.  I know I'll be OK if I'm on my own...but it's just that stupid fear.  I admit, I have a call out for friends to run it with me (sherry.....you can do it!...haa haa haa....ok ok ok, you are not sure that you are going to stay with this running thing, and that is ok. whatever you decide is good with me!) ...started thinking about not registering for it YET because what if no one does it with me.  But then I realized that I was just making excuses in an effort to take the easy way out.  That is NOT how the new MaryFran rolls!   I face things face on right now.  That said, I hope to run it with friends...but no worries.  If I'm alone, so be it!  Ohhh and I have already paid for my registration!  I'm IN like Flynn!