I get it

There is something that athletes 'get'.   I'm sure we can all remember the 1996 olympics where Kerry Strug her her ankle on her first vault.  It was do or die for the US team, she was our only chance.  She pushed through the pain and ran the second vault and blew it out of the water.....on a bum foot.  She got it.  She wanted something so badly that she pushed through insurmountable odds and who knows how much pain and did it.  I remember watching that and thinking, "holy moley, that girl is nuts to push through, seriously, she was hurt!"   I didn't understand then.

In December I reached the end of my rope. I didn't like where my life was sitting. There are aspects that I can't change but I decided that I could change my weight and my lifestyle. I vowed to do whatever it took.  I started exercising more and those workouts were at a much higher intensity.  I don't care that I wake up everyday and at least one part of my body aches.  I don't care that I'm out at 6AM running in VERY COLD (some days) weather.  It quickly became the norm and I am OK with it, simply because I want it bad enough. 

My niece loves gymnastics.  She commits to 12 hours minimum in the gym each week and she flips around and stretches and does stuff all the time.  In the last few months, I have noticed her wearing an ankle brace here and there.  Not all the time but on occasion.  A week ago today she was riding in my car with me and she talked about this sore ankle.  Her exact words were "My foot is really sore, I'm pushing really hard because State competition is next weekend.  After that I will rest it to make it better."  I looked at her and I actually understood her drive, isn't that what I'm doing with my exercise pushing hard and working through pain?

This past week her foot started to hurt worse.  It went from an occasional pain to a consistent pain.  She was given a choice but insisted upon competing (she has a doctors appointment set up to check it out) with her coaches approval.  She was 'juiced up' as my brother told me with ibuprofen and they crossed their fingers that the vault would be the last event that she competed in as that was the hardest on her ankle, second only to floor (floor due to the tumbling).  We got our wish.  Floor was second to last and vault was last.  We watched as she competed.

My brother and I were talking about her, the ankle issue and her drive.  Not many 10 year old little girls opt to spend 12 hours at the gym each week on a consistent basis, more if there is a meet.  Not many young girls would push through an injury.  My brother looked at me and said "Our family has never "got it", she does.    The typical response of our family is to quit when it starts to hurt.  (excuses...hmmm I guess I still am beating this dead horse eh?)  My niece however realizes that it is going to hurt but she gets up and keeps doing it.  She is driven and accepts the downside which is the occasional injury (yes, she has fallen off the beam...when she was 5 or 6 and broke her arm) and lots of muscle aches.  He looks at me and said "She gets it". 

And at that is when I realized.  I get it....40 years later, but I get it now!  I can not succeed easily unless I accept that it's going to hurt.  Running WILL hurt some days.  Those marathon runners that we've seen on the news so much recently get it.  Running hurts!    The bikers in the Tour de France get it.  Biking hurts too!  These athletes get it.  And FINALLY, I get it too.  I'm not gonna be sadistic and say I want or like the pain.....but BRING IT ON!

I get it?  Do you???

And since I have inundated this post with pictures of my niece from her competition yesterday, I feel as if I should add one of each of my nephews.  They look chipper in the pictures, but let me tell you...they HATE siting through gymnastics competition.  (They may have been chipper due to the promise of a visit to the Lego Store after the meet!)

drive, heart and focus

Well, I stepped on the scales this morning..  Not the greatest results. Yes I gained.  I'm not going to lie and say that it was all out of my control. It wasn't.  No one force fed me food.  I made the choices.  Some of the choices were more difficult.  Some of the choices were out of my control. (that said I am still the one that made the final choices and decisions about what to put into my mouth).    Am I angry at myself?  No.  Am I disappointed with myself.  Yes.  I'm disappointed because I made poor choices. Why am I not angry with myself?  I am not angry with myself because I realize that it is totally unrealistic to expect myself to eat perfectly every stinkin' day for the rest of my life. It's unrealistic to think that way.  Being strict is just setting up for failure...because life WILL happen.  There will be days where you forget to take your lunch to work.....and unfortunately there will be times when you meet up with a friend for dinner and find out she ate before you get there (well, hopefully that doesn't happen again, but is DID happen)...there will be gymnastic meets and celebratory dinners afterward.  Life happens.  How those circumstances affect me is where this battle is won or lost. The success comes in learning how to recover from a day or two of non strict eating. If you give up...you lose.  If you accept it as a fact of life and move on it only makes you stronger and puts you one step closer to winning the battle.  I accept and I'm hanging on because I refuse to LOSE!  Shazam!

So my weekend was nuts...eating wise it started on Wednesday when I forgot to bring a lunch and ended up partaking of the free lunch my work provided.   It continued on Thursday with me planning on eating out with a friend only to have the friend eat before I got there, which left me shoveling food into my mouth at 10:30PM (I was within my calories but seriously....while eating peanut butter was a treat,  it was not a totally nutritious meal).  Friday night my husband and I went out for Chinese....I don't know what possessed me, but I didn't calculate my calories BEFORE I ordered.  I didn't even calculate my calories after I ordered but before the food arrived.  I didn't calculate my calories until I got home.  Yup....I ate a BUTT LOAD of calories. (It sure was tasty and I don't regret it at all...I got that meal out of my system..I'd been SOOO hungry for it!)  Saturday and Sunday I did pretty good calorie wise, but was woefully lacking on fruits and veggies.  Today?   I've got my day totally planned and I'm rocking it!  :-)

That all said.  I"m determined that spring is here.  So I'm wearing a short skirt to emphasis my declaration.  I was looking in the mirror while I was getting ready.  I really do like my legs.  So muscular and toned.  Just sayin'.  

Saturday I rode down to Ocean City (Berlin, MD to be more specific) with my sister in law and my niece for my nieces gymnastic meet.  So very proud of Ali...she took first place in two events and second place in two events and walked away with first in All around!  She Rocks it!   It is always fun to watch her compete.  She totally loves gymnastics.  From the day that my brother and sister in law put her in an introductory gymnastics class when she was three years old it was her passion. She flipped around the house.  She moved up the ranks into competitive gymnastics.  She loves it.  When they moved, within days she was asking when she could get into a gymnastics gym and join a team.  They had barely unpacked the truck and my sister in law was visiting gyms and signing on the dotted line for my niece to join a gym and to compete with their team.   As I sat there watching the meet a  meet a few things were startling clear to me.

I watched my niece as she competed.  She was doing stuff that struck fear in my heart.....had I been the one that was cartwheeling across a narrow balance beam or running down a runway that is.  She was cool as a cucumber and made it look extremely simple.  It's not simple. She has WORKED for that level of apparent ease.   This 10 year old girl (barely 10 too) puts my measly hours of exercise to SHAME! Yes, remember my bragging recently (ok, I wasn't really bragging) about my 7 hours of exercise in one week?  She is in the gym for HOURS upon HOURS a week.  As a 10 year old.....hours upon hours! I think the commitment for her level is 12 hours.....that does not include the extra hours that she flips around practicing and doing sit ups (stomach muscles need to be TIGHT to do some of these moves).  That does not include the hours that she puts in at these gymnastic meets (the last four weekends straight).  She is committed to this.  She is focused and LOVES it so it is not a hardship.  She just does it.  Do I hear her moan on occasion because she hears that something fun may happen while she is laboring at the gym?  Absolutely.  Does it deter her from going?  NO.  Focus.  She has it.  And she has done incredibly well.   

There are two to three components that my 10 year old niece has in place.  I need to follow her lead.  What are those components?   

1.  Follow your heart.  She loves gymnastics.  LOVES, BREATHES and LIVES it!  Exercise is finding out what makes your heart go pitter patter.  Is it running for me?  I don't know.  Is it biking?  I don't know.  Zumba?   Could be, who knows.  Maybe for me it is a combination of everything. I just know that if you are not totally immersed and happy with what you are doing you will lose interest....lose focus....and lose your drive to do it!

2.  My niece has grown to realize that sore muscles...an aching ankle...even a broken bone are part of life.  Hurting is only a temporary thing.  It doesn't stop her.  So often we as adults stop doing things because it 'hurts' or because we MIGHT get hurt.   But sometimes pain is necessary to progress.  My niece has realized this....she just puts on the ankle brace when it hurts and continues on.  She broke her wrist a few years back yet only missed a practice or two.....she still went and stretched out and did everything possible that she could do.

3.  If you want it.....go after it.  12 hours plus in the gym is a lot for a young child.  My niece is being home schooled again this year...but when she did go to public school she literally would get home from school grab a snack change her clothes and walk right out the door to head to the gym.  She would be there for hours and get home later in in the evening....rush to take a shower, do homework and fall into bed. She packs dinner to eat while she is at the gym.   That is the life she leads (by choice, my brother and his wife do NOT push at all...there is actually very little focus on competition....as long as she is having fun they don't care what scores she gets...although they are very proud when she does well).  She leads it by choice..why?  Because she has a focus. She wants to perfect her moves.  She wants to do things perfectly and accomplish moves that she struggles with. She has a drive that pushes her when she doesn't want to go on. 

Important lessons to learn.  So important!   I want this.  I want to be healthy.  I want to be thin.  I actually want to be athletic.(kinda shocked me to write that!)  So I will not run at the first sign of an achy muscle.  I will not run at the first sign of difficulty or inconvenience.  I will push forward and be willing to work for it.  I will surround myself with activities that I love...activities that will ultimately help me reach my goal!

After the meet, we had just a few minutes to run over to the beach.  My niece had never been to the Ocean (remember they just moved from the mid west...there are no oceans near where they lived...and all vacations were spent visiting family) so we took her the few miles to check it out.  It was so gorgeous...now I'm dying to go back!!

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