Arsenal

A few days ago we were talking about exercise and health and I opened my trunk...to reveal some of my exercise goodies.  Part of me was shocked at how much I really do have.

So let’s take a look at my arsenal of exercise equipment and what I’ve gathered...and some of my favoritenproducts!

First and foremost...running.

I run in ASICS cummulous running shoes.  With the pronation of my feet, these shoes are good for me. I use Aftershox wireless bone conducting headphones (love love love) .  These are awesome for me, ear buds just seem to never work for me, they won't stay in my ears!  The bone conduction headphones lay near my ears, but not in them.  I can hear the music perfectly, but I also can hear the noises around me...important while I'm out running.   I  carry my phone in my run buddy pack.  (Love love love). The run buddy is a pouch with a pocket (two pockets actually) and a flap.  The flap goes into the waistband of your pants and the pocket section on the outside of your pants.  strong magnets in the flap and in the pouch area connect and hold everything in place.  I recommend the run buddy to everyone!  I top it with a hat.

I’ll stop here and say that I have a ton of hats.

I love my hats for exercise.  They are good because they are memories of places I’ve been.  But they serve a few other functions.  First, they keep my hair from slipping out of the braid/ponytail holder and being totally unruly!  Secondly they keep the sweat from dripping down my face as they wick the sweat into the hat.  (Gross I know...and yes I have to wash them!). Thirdly it helps contain the weather.  Blocks me from the sun and protects my face from rain.   A win win...win win!

Next in my arsenal?  

Hiking is awesome exercise!!!  As you can see I hike in Salomon.  I have a full boot..typically recommended for backpackers...but perfect for someone with weak ankles and feet problems!   I can say that my ankles have NEVER rolled while hiking...but it's a common occurrence when I'm out walking in regular shoes.

Tennis shoes...just as important as running shoes and hiking boots....as I learned this past weekend...good shoes are very important to not feeling so achy after being on my feet for a long time!!

ASICS work well for my feet. I have spent countless hours (for real) trying on shoes...both for casual and for running....it always ends up being ASICS that I buy.   For my casual shoes I have to admit that what I buy is driven by price. I stick with ASICS, but as for style and color I am totally price motivated.   I know that's bad but hey...it’s worked for me this far!!

Working in conjunction those previous things...I have the Fitbit Alta to monitor my steps.  It’s on my wrist all the time...I do have an aftermarket replacement band....

Next?

My road bike.   Currently my bike is mounted on a bike trainer in the corner of what is supposed to be the dining room (if we only had a dining room table...not that we would eat at it anyway).  This is a Litespeed Vela road bike.  The trainer...something I picked up at Aldi’s!  It works great!    And of course my bike shoes beside my road bike.....because yes, I do have clipped pedals on my road bike.

I may as well talk about my other bike next.

This is a Trek Navigator.  I bought this when I was at my highest weight and it has carried me well over the last many many years.  It’s in great shape and runs smooth...even after 15-17 years of use.  I still use it...but I have outgrown it in terms of what I can do with it and where I want to ride.   We are saving for a mountain bike for me...I would LOVE a Santa Cruz to match Jason's.....but well...my budget most likely won't allow that, unless a fabulous deal falls into my lap.   When a mountain bike is purchased for me,  the trek will become the bike on the trainer and that will make it easier for both of us to use.  It will also be the bike we grab for a quick jaunt down to the grocery store for that 'man we need' this purchase!  (Why this bike?  If it's stolen it can be replaced at a much more reasonable price than Jason's bike and probably whatever I buy.)

We do have safety equipment... helmets!  A full face helmet (the chin guard is not attached at the moment) and a 'regular' helmet.

A few years back I picked up a stair stepper/lateral thigh trainer...used.  I think I paid five bucks for it.  When I use it, my legs feel like jello!

Yes, we drink a lot of bottled water!

Next in my pile of exercise stuff....and now we get into the lessor used stuff...but maybe these things will make a resurgence!!

I have two exercise balls...one is not pumped and I just pumped this one a few days ago.  I know the exercises work...I’ve had the muscle aches to prove it!!

I have wrist weight, and leg weights, weighted ball, somewhere (they seem to be missing at the moment) I have Zumba toning sticks,  a roller for a push up/plank type exercise and just in case...I have a yoga mat.

Resistance bands anyone?  Some still in the box unused!!!

And last, I have a collection of exercise videos!  

I have no excuse to not exercise do I???

So what’s in your arsenal???

Back to Monday

The weekend had come and gone!  Boo!!!  Well I can’t boo boo you much.  I’m still off work today!

I spent my Friday day off with my mom. We had a good time together and I got some errands done.

On Saturday Jason  and I went to the  Catoctin Zoo .  We sunk the money for an annual pass.  It’s a nice place to get out and walk!  It’s small but it’s still a cool place.  

We ran a few errands and then went home.   

My legs and feet were SOOO sore!  They ached fiercely!   When I was able to think more clearly about it, I realized that new tennis shoes have been on the agenda for a while...but I’ve been delaying.  My tennis shoes were old...like a year and 5 months old!   They still look decent...but the innards were obviously shot! Shoes skyrocketed to the top of the list of things to get!

On Sunday we went down into Virginia.  We hit up the Tyson’s Corner REI.   We had some member dividends to use.   We used them to buy knee and elbow pads for Jason. He will be safer now when he rides his mountain bike!    We hit up lunch at a pizza joint to get our all time favorite pizza (guess what is for dinner tonight...leftovers!!). And on the way back through Leesburg we went into the outlets to the ASICS store.  My feet do well with ASICS.  So I stick with them.   I found a pair...budget friendly.  :-)

This morning after Jason grudgingly left for work I cleaned the house and headed out for a run.  I was in my good running shoes but my legs and feet didn’t fair well....the many miles on icky shoes this weekend wreaked their havoc.  But that’s ok...I’ve fixed the problem.

I’m showered, I’ve checked and updated my budget/finances and soon  I’m heading out for a few errands and lunch.   And then home to relax...maybe a walk this afternoon. 

So while we were active this weekend...my weight showed higher today.   It is so frustrating!!!  Now in fairness...the monthly ick should be arriving soon...and I woke up dying of thirst.  Both of those things on their own usually mean the scales will be up.   But let’s be honest.   My weekend eating is not on point.  I do pretty good during the week/workdays....but weekends I fall apart.    I usually track weekdays...and no on weekends.  Weekends right now are my Achilles heel...and I will be working on that.   As I struggled throoug my run I made the vow to myself to fix it!!!  Some ideas are floating in my head.   I can do this!!!!

Small changes.....

I managed to walk on every break and each lunch through the end of my work week!  Go me!  (Yup...I’m off work today, Friday!)

I even saw turtles sunning themselves on the edge of the lake (I didn’t know the lake outside of work had turtles)!   And I saw a whole gaggle I’d baby geese!

There were a few more that were outside my camera shot!  That’s a lot of young babies with the two adult geese!

My evening runs have been a bit lacking.  Ok...more than a bit lacking...totally absent!  I plan on getting out there on the weekend!   I knew when I started that weekends were going to be my running days and if I was lucky I would get a weekday run in.

I did two nights of push ups and planks.  The last night my upper body...who knows what the area is called...front of my body...below my shoulders...above my breasts......oh my word, sooooo sore!   But it’s time to do them again!!!   My upper body had always been mostly ignored...and while I know push ups are not all that all encompassing, they are better than nothing!

I have also been trying to be more ‘engage muscles’ while at work.  I’m not doing all of these, but it’s giving me ideas.

I am also going back to some old weight watchers advice from when I was going to weight watchers.   Bracing!  Holding your stomach in...engaged those core muscles.  

Small changes can lead to big changes!

My weight was down this morning.  Woohoo!  So my weekday routine that I have going is working.   Now I have to make it through my weekend...and a four day one for me!

Today I am spending the day with my mom...so I’m sure we will go to to lunch and I also have to grocery shop.   The Saturday and Sunday plans for Jason and I include a tentative trip to the Catoctin Zoo and Wildlife Park and then we also want to drive into Virginia to our favorite pizza joint (beat ever pizza) and then go to REI...he has his member rewards to use and he is going to buy knee and elbow pads to use while he is out there on his mountain bike jumping and being crazy....a bit of extra protection....and I am 100% behind him being safe!

Warmth,sunshine and happiness!

Weigh in results....I maintained.   That’s ok.  I’m figuring out where I am...my exercise...my food...my routine.  A maintain is a victory this week! Ok it’s a victory mostly because I was showing a pound or two higher a few days ago!!

I’m choosing healthier options...and while I’m still having cake/sweet treats, it is more managed...limited and better portions! 

The weather has turned gorgeous!!!  So I walked in my lunch break yesterday!

It’s even nicer today...so I walked already on my first break!!

I brought comfortable shoes though so that I don’t have a repeat of the sandal blister fiasco that I had a few weeks back!!!

And yes...a lunch time walk too...

And I plan on coming out on my last break too!  

I’m not perfect....but I’m working on myself.  Slowly but surely...and this time in a way that will last me a lifetime!!!!

Welcome Back Old “Friend”

I’ve been thinking about sustainability and longevity in my weight loss journey.  I know I have weight to lose.  It’s no secret. And I desperately want to lose it.....but I’m starting to have some views that are divergent from where they have been for years.

Let me start by saying that I KNOW that I have to restrict and manage my food intake.  That is NOT in debate.

But....I’m thinking that I need to focus more on a healthy lifestyle.  A healthy lifestyle includes eating nutritious meals.  It includes not eating three pieces of cake.  It includes the food portion of what is considered the diet portion of weight loss.   But I am shifting.  I’m shifting to thinking that my focus really needs to be more on the physical aspect of this lifestyle.   Moving!!!  Making my body stronger.   Being active.

Once again...weight is lost in the kitchen not the gym.  I know that.  But let’s also say that deprivation doesn’t work for me...at all!   So let’s look at this realistically....  weight loss really is as simple as calories in versus calories out.  It’s having a good exercise budget.    So, one piece of chocolate cake and chocolate icing according to MyFitnessPal is around 235 calories.   22 minutes of running (12 minutes mile) is guess what?  235 calories (at whatever weight I currently have listed on myfitnesspal...).  I like cake....22 minutes seems a decent trade off to me.   

And yes yesterday I did run ..I did eat cake...and I DID have a nutritious dinner with lots of healthy foods to fuel my body!

I am trying to remember to track all of my food on my fitness pal. So I’m not totally walking away from the “diet“ mentality. I know that that is still important for me. 

I just realize that as I get older I need to be working on making my body strong in a time where my body naturally is going to weaken much more week.

So as my last post on Saturday indicated… I went for a run. The run portion was 1 mile. That is 1 mile of running with no stops or walking… Consistent movement at the same speed. I felt pretty good actually, slow but good.

On Sunday morning I repeated the run.

 A walking warm up and cool down and 1 mile of running with no stops or walks. I was one minute faster. And boy oh boy this one made me more sore and achy. Sunday afternoon we spent a lot of time outside walking and moving ...downtown Frederick and In and old graveyard....just about 6 or 7 miles. 

By the time we got home in the early evening hours, my body ache so bad. I could feel my muscles aching and I was just whipped.

Even exhausted and tired and achy I managed to pull off my first night of push-ups and planks. In a conversation earlier in the week we were discussing upper body strength versus lower body strength. My lower body has typically always been very strong and my upper body typically week.   So we challenged ourselves to push-ups daily. I threw in planks because core strength is important with riding a bike with my back issues… OK and with so much more. I’m not proud of how many push-ups I could do… Or rather couldn’t do. They were not pretty by any means. But consistency will clean them up and add to how many I can do. We have to start somewhere, and I have my start.

So kicking it back into these healthier actions such as running, 6 miles of walking in the afternoon, push-ups and planks has made me welcome my old friend continual achiness. I know it will get easier… And when the pain goes away that means I need to step it up and run faster walk further add more push-ups…

Yeah, I kind a like the achiness.

The core and arm strength will help quite a bit on my road bike… Which honestly hurts so bad right now that I am not riding with my Road bike on the trainertrainer that much once again 10 minutes and I’m done. But I will grow that number. And it’s set up..so no excuses!!

I seriously need to get into good biking shape… We are hoping to have me on a good mountain bike by the end of summer. We love Jason’s Santa Cruz bike. But I doubt I will be able to spend that much money on a bike at this point. We will be scanning craigslist and crossing our fingers and hoping for a good deal on a used size medium bike. (A small could possibly work…) I have a few things that I want on a bike… I want full suspension and I want a dropper post for my seat… Because it’s just really cool. Yeah I’m not sure I’ll be riding such rough trails that I will need my seat up-and-down that much, but it’s cool! Jason has a few more things that he wants on my bike. And we are both insistent that it be a bike that is upgradable in case I out grow in skill the bike I buy.

Meanwhile Jason’s Santa Cruz is feeling a bit sick.

 He needs his rear shock rebuild… We dropped it off yesterday at the bicycle hospital a.k.a. the bike shop.

So the next few weeks will be spending hiking/walking and dreaming about our next bike ride together!

I’ve got this!  I can do it!!  Healthy is the new mission!!!!

This is it

Happy Saturday...not sure yet what our plans are for the day...but I’m having a nice relaxing morning.

Well...not totally relaxed.  I went out for a run.   I was determined to run for one mile straight with no stops and no walking.  And I accomplished my goal. Surprisingly it wasn’t too bad today!!!   It wasn’t fast...but I did it!  More of the same tomorrow!!!!  

A little hot and a lot red, but one mile complete!

This week I’ve been suffering from some acid reflux...in the middle of the night (early morning hours actually).  It is annoying, uncomfortable and well it scares me!  I don’t like to wake up with this phenomenon occurring.

So if it my weight?  Too much food late?  Too late? Wrong types of foods?    Last night I ate less food....and I didn’t have any problem.   Hopefully it is as simple as that!!!

Yesterday I set up my road bike on the bike trainer....and I rode for 10 minutes.  The road bike is brutal..and hurts.  But I’m determined..10 minutes for a while...longer in time!

Right or wrong

There is the right way, and there is the wrong way.  But when you talk about losing weight, there is no right or wrong way. What is right for one person is wrong or another. What is right one month may be wrong another month. I am still searching for the right way for me at this stage of my life.

So the negative… I’m not losing weight. The positive? I’m maintaining my weight quite handily. Well not maybe an exact victory that requires celebration, but I am choosing to take it as a positive.

Another positive in my life, I am eating much more healthier then in the last two years. I’m loving it too! It’s crazy how good steamed green beans are. It blows my mind how delicious zucchini really is. I got away from eating that way and I forgot how good those foods really are. My diet is not perfect by any means, but I’m actually eating foods that are fueling my body in a nutritious way.  (For the most part)

On Saturday we rode bikes on a local trail. I had a blast. Trail riding is a lot of fun! It will be more fun when I’m actually on a bike that is better suited to trail riding. That is in the works for sure… We have plans. The negative about Saturday’s ride? My endurance and  my ability to climb are at an all time low. I was breathing like a freight train and my legs were like jelly.

On Sunday we took a nice long walk on the canal. It was crazy how many people were out there. No real negative about that walk.  

 

So back to the right way in the wrong way. My fitness level… The last year was definitely the wrong way. The right way is for me to face the freight train breathing, the jelly like leg and achy muscles and fix it.

My brother reminded me on Sunday that the jelly like legs and the freight train breathing we’re not going to kill me and that I should not have walked up any of the inclines. What can I say, he was telling me the right way.

While we were out walking we saw a lady getting fabulous exercise on the bike… Until we looked closer. It was one of those motorized bicycles. I’m not going to judge her maybe she had a medical condition that kept her from paddling on the flat canal towpath. But I can’t help but shake my head at the lack of even trying to better your body. We laughed and talked about it and both agreed that right now, the right way for us is to pedal pedal pedal. No motors on a bicycle for us. That said, we both agreed that if there was a medical condition we would definitely consider getting something so that we could still be outside. Right and wrong ...different stages of Life.

Calorie wise, I’m actually not doing poorly. My downfall is the fact that I like to baking… A lot. This weekend I made a dingdong cake. I’m calling it dingdong delicious. It is reminiscent of those childhood ding dong‘s that we used to get. That is my downfall. And I actually did better last night with the cake. It was delicious and I wanted more of it so bad, but what I told myself was that there will be more cake. I don’t have to let my addiction get control of me. That means I don’t have to eat four pieces of cake because of its tastiness. One piece to satisfy myself and know that there will be more cake the next night and if for some reason there is not, I can easily make another one. And do you know what? I think that the dingdong cake was even more delicious because I did not shovel two or three pieces into my mouth. So in retrospect , I guess I can say that my food addiction… The one that keeps me shoveling food into my mouth because it’s so delicious, even long past when I’m full is actually detracting from the deliciousness of the food. Oh my! What a deep thought and other amazing epiphany I just had!!!

Let me repeat that for myself. I eat something delicious, and my addiction drives me to have more and more and more of it because I want that delicious  bubble/high to continue. But in reality the more I eat the worse it tastes. I already know that the high only lasts for the first couple bites… The addict in me is what keeps eating trying to regain that high even though I know it’s hopeless. But I never put two into together to realize that he’s number two of cake and pizza number three if you really lose there value in taste.

Blank Brain

Maintain.   That’s what his past week looks like on the scales. I would really like a loss...but I’m ok with a straight up maintain.  

I haven’t gotten an evening run in yet....but I’m hoping maybe tonight.   We shall see!!!  No promises!

We are still working on changing our lifestyle.  The sweet treats continue to be a problem....but well...we are working on it.  

The biggest issue we have is the fact that we forget!   We were making dinner the other night and all of a sudden I thought about the fact that we had...fresh veggies galore that were not being utilized.  We had sugar peas, Brussel sprouts, zucchini, carrots, broccoli....and who knows what else!   I debated...because I didn’t want to do the work.  But then I told myself...if we dont prepare them, they will rot and we will A. Not be healthy and B. Waste a chunk of money allowing that good organicpile of veggies to rot.   So I sautéed some zucchini.  Last night we steamed the snow peas.  We are working on it!!!

We are slowly trying to break habits and create new ones!!

No major words of wisdom today....maybe tomorrow since I tend to come up with my nuggets of wisdom when I run!  (If I can get a run in tonight!)

Up from the Ashes

What in the world to name this post.  Cobbled?  Hot Hobble? Chipmunks? Eiii Yiii Yii? Excuses?  Addiction Transference? Plans for fun? This morning as I was thinking about writing it, I thought of all of these and some more.    So many options...maybe while I actually write this post I'll come up with the perfect title.  Typically I don't title my posts to the end anyway...so who knows what will be the winner!

Excuses
I made a few vows that I would be running as soon as we moved.  Well, the first days were so brutal with the move that I didn't run..  Then  we struggled with exhaustion that first week....so I didn't run.  But I swore that week two was going to be the week!   It was cold!   Then one night I was driving home and there were some rain drops on the windshield!!!  Yes!  There were!  Then I didn't want to take time from my precious time with Jason one night.    But on Friday morning I sat at my desk at work and made the vow....that night FOR SURE.  Furthermore, I would run both mornings of the weekend! 

Yes!  I came up with a plan.  If I ran both mornings of the weekend...then to get my third run in for the week I would just need to run 1 time through the week.  Not perfect, but it could work!  I would make it work!    With my plan in place, I grinned when the clock showed that it was time for lunch.  The weather was FABULOUS and i was going to walk around the lake!  I grabbed my phone and my 'portable lunch'  (apple, oranges and some pretzels) and headed out.

Hot Hobble
Now let me say..the weather was amazing so I decided to wear a skirt...and i was so amazing that I grabbed sandals to wear to work.  Halfway around the lake and I knew that I had made a colossal mistake!  Hot spots on the balls of my feet AND on the sides of my feet.  What do you do at that point?  I was halfway around the lake???  Either way I went I had to walk.   I crossed my fingers.  I did some praying and I hobbled back to work.  My feet were so sore!  I knew that running was going to be sketchy!  After All, even barefoot I could barely walk!  No running for me on Friday night.

Saturday morning dawned and my right foot was pretty much better but the left one was still kicking.  No running for me on Saturday either. 

Plans for Fun

Saturday was not lost though.  We did our grocery shopping and then headed out on our bikes.  WOO HOO!  It was a much easier ride than last week!   It still 'hurt' a bit but the ride was quite pleasant.  As always, we talked quite a bit while we rode.  We talked about running in the evening versus morning. (he prefers me to ride in the evening as it is light versus the morning when it is still dark).  We talked about starting to walk a bit in the evenings also.  We also talked about a new bike purchase for me!  Now that sounds fun doesn't it????

Cobbled

Sunday morning came and I laid in bed.  I knew I had to start this running thing.. I dreaded it, but I knew that I needed to start it!   It was happening.  And then I thought about the fact that since my last time I ran, I switched phones!   I have NO music loaded onto my phone.  Cobble number one:  So I grabbed some free music player with free music for a quick fix.  Crisis averted.    Oh no!  I don't have mapmyfitness on my bike either  Cobble/fix number two:  A quick download and log in an I was set with that too.   I got dressed and grabbed my gear and stood at the door ready to go.  I slipped my headphones onto my head.   NOTHING!  Well duh!  Why would they be working after 9 plus months of sitting in the box?  Of course they would need recharged!!!  Cobble number three:  Luckily I had the earbuds that came with my new phone still in a box and even amidst a recent move, I knew where the box was!  I hate earbuds!  I had wired headphones.  But I used them!

Eiii Yiii Yii

Our apartment complex is on a road that is a loop.....it is a 1.21 mile loop.  And it was a brutal loop!  Surprisingly it was my feet that hurts....they just ached!  And yes, I count that 1.21 miles as a victory!

Chipmunks

So I said earlier that I cobbled together some music options for my run this morning.  I just grabbed some free music.  Well some were apparently 'covers'.  So while I did get to listen to twisted sister in all their 80's glory....I was forced to listen to P!nk's "Fun House"  done by what sounded like the chipmunks.  It was......interesting to say the least.


Victory

I did it though!  I ran!   I may even get a bike ride in today also!

Addiction Transference

I know that I have a food addiction.  I've known it for quite some time.   I know that I was beating that addiction back when I was losing all that weight.  And I know that in recent months and years that the addiction has been beating me.  I have been talking a lot in recent years about how I do not want to live like a 'Nazi' with no sweat treats....with no pizza...and no other foods that I love.  I want to find that healthy happy medium.   This morning it occurred to me that when I was 'winning' at the weight loss , I really wasn't really winning, I had just transferred that addiction.  My new addiction at that time?  I was totally addicted to that caloric budget.  I felt 'high' and on top of the world when I was winning that war.    I was addicted to the weight loss regime.  And when I lost the battle and that weight loss regime wasn't 'doing it' for me, I went right back to the original addiction of food.  Hand in hand but still addictions.  Some people get addicted to exercise (our neighbor runs ALL the time....at least so it seems,) some people take pills, others drink alcohol,etc)   I am addicted to food...and apparently I can transfer that addiction to the 'diet regime'.  But I don't want either addiction....I want the happy medium. 

And yes, that might mean that I ride a bike like a mad woman for 3 hours so I can enjoy that delicious pizza....or cake...or whatever.  But it's a FUN ride that I would be doing anyway....and it's food that I enjoy.  It's balance and moderation...not riding 6 hours and then eating a dry piece of lettuce.  Not eating a dry piece of lettuce and then moaning about the outrageous calories I just ate.   Balance!


So how to sum up this post with a singular title?  Wow....Chipmunks still makes me laugh, but that is just one teeny tiny aspect of this post.  Hmmmm.....I think I have it.  Up from the ashes!  As low as I was this week in a previous post....I have pulled myself together and I am rising like a phoenix from the ashes!

Tub of Lard

Warning!!!  Embarrassing post alert!!

I sat at my desk yesterday while at work and beat myself up. There was some real self hatred going on. To sum it up, I’m not happy with my weight at all. Yet I can’t seem to get control of this addiction.

I had the revelations on Sunday   Yes the ones I spoke about in my last post. The revelations were about how far my fitness level has dropped. And while that did play a factor into my thinking yesterday, that still wasn’t the reason I was filled with self-hatred. OK at least not the main reason.

On Tuesday I noticed that my pants waist band/button had rubbed my overhanging stomach again. I’ve talked about this in the past.  It’s  embarrassing. Very embarrassing. I had a Band-Aid covering it yesterday but it was still very sensitive. I felt poured into my clothes.

You know, I have this weird weird sense inside me that if I just suck in my gut that  I won’t look fat. But yesterday nothing I did, no matter how tight I sucked in my gut made me feel presentable to the world. Now before we go on, I know that I’m overweight and I know that just sucking my gut in like that and doesn’t hide my true weight. But it makes me feel better.  But not yesterday.  I feel as if I have crossed the line, some invisible line where I feel yuh of lard...even when my gut is sucked!

Oh and as I mentioned earlier, I’m struggling to gain any control over myself. I feel so out of control.

And so it’s been a week of revelations and epiphanies. And they haven’t been good ones. 

So what have I done? This week I have started tracking my food. I haven’t eliminated the cookies, but I have drastically limited them (one cookie a day).  And my calories aren’t perfect but I am trying. I am also weighing myself every day… Or at least trying to remember to. I know that when I was losing those were two habits that I kept.

We are eating more vegetables and  fruits, and I still am planning on re-commencing with running. We have also talked about taking walks in the evening together. Honestly my biggest deterrent from running in the evening is that it takes time away from my time with Jason.  Yeah I’m sappy.

So rough week of a lot of revelations that I did not like. I’m not promising that this week is going to be different or next week is going to be different. I have an addiction. And while I know that ultimately I am in control, I know that a lot of times this food addiction controls me.  My goals for this week track and weigh.   Baby steps and I will gain control!

Top O’ The World

I was going to start running when we moved… Really I was! But let me backtrack and talk about the move and how  my back was aching so bad, and Jason’s knee with kicking  something fierce. We had some choices to make, so we kind of just grabbed the necessary things. My brother and his family helped and they got everything of mine with the exception of maybe five or six boxes and bins. So I woke up on Saturday morning thinking this is the day I’m going to go run. Until I remembered that my running clothes and gear was in one of the boxes that was still at my mothers house. Oops!  I have that stuff in my possession now so there should be no excuses for this week.

Food wise I am doing OK actually, for the most part. Jason and I are making a conscious effort to beef up the amounts of vegetables and fruit we have in the house. And we are eating them and loving them. We are eating at home and doing pretty good with that.  Of course that first sentence of this paragraph included the words for the most part… So there is a negative.  For Christmas I gave Jason a VW bus cookie cutter and a VW bug cookie cutter.  It came with a ‘lifetime supply of cookies. Now that we are together it was time for me to start keeping my part of that lifetime supply!  I made cookies this weekend… They are delicious and I ate too many yesterday. 

They are not pretty...the cake decorating icing bag  I was using popped a seam and well...I stopped caring about ‘pretty’ after that happened.

My weight seems to be hovering in a 2-3 pound range.  . It was low on Saturday morning and high this morning.  And the same all last week..up, down, up, down.   No surprise… Considering I just talked about the cookies.

We finally got out on our  bikes! Yup, we went out this weekend!  First time this year. I was sore… Really sore. But we have to start somewhere it’ll only get better the more I do it.

Which brings me to what has been on my mind a lot lately. Fitness levels. How quickly they go away… Well it seems quick to me. So I’m going to take a little walk through history…because it shows how it happened.

Fall of 2014. I weighed 220 pounds, and I was  dropping.  (I actually think I saw 215 at one point, maybe lower). I was going to Zumba three nights a week and sometimes doing back to back classes. I was running 3 to 4 times a week, most of those runs were  between three and 6 miles. I felt fabulous. Physically and emotionally because I was beating this food addiction and curse.

In 2015… I divorced and moved in with my parents. Eating healthy was no longer an easy option, and as my mother bakes for two markets there was always delicious baked goods at my disposal. I gained 20 pounds. I continued my heavy load of Zumba and running. The extra weight slowed down my running pace but I was still really active and in pretty good shape. 

2016, and Zumba ended. I was sad on many levels… Zumba have been a social outlet, and emotional crutch through my divorce, and a huge portion of my fitness activity. Jason and I hiked a lot that year! Like a lot of miles! Our schedules also allowed us to go for long walks every evening, or at least most evenings. It was nothing that summer for us to walk five or 6 miles in the evening (and I usually ran 2-4 times a week in the morning).  Every evening. Yes hiking hurt a little bit sometimes… Like up some mad Mountain or vicious trail, but it was good. That fall Jason and I added breaking into our repertoire of activity. Our first ride was sore but not buffalo … We were still pretty active and that fitness level showed when we picked up biking. 

2017… And here is where it all started to go to pot. It took about a year for me to see physical signs that my fitness levels from Zumba we’re starting to fade. Little things flexibility, strength, balance, Etc. We were still active on the weekends and evenings. At least the first couple months of the year. And then we made some changes in our work, which changed our schedules. We stopped walking at night… Or if we did we were lucky to get in 1 mile. I couldn’t fit runs it to my daily routine I was already waking up at 5 AM and not getting home until 8 PM, and I was constantly exhausted (3 to 4 hours in a car a day is way. Too much). We still did active things on the weekend, and I did walk on my lunch breaks, but it just wasn’t enough.

So now it’s 2018 and here I am sitting in the worst physical shape I have been in in probably 10 years.   And I don’t like it!!!!   I don’t look forward to the aches and pains of rebuilding my fitness level...nor do I look forward to the dread of starting each day knowing how ‘bad’ it may feel.  But, I do look forward to that ‘Top O’ the World’ feeling I get from being active and conquering this food addiction. 

I’ve got this!!!!!!

Exhaustion

I am so tired! Physically and mentally. The move was pretty rough. We went into the move with a really bad knee and a bad back. There was one morning where I woke up and I couldn’t stand straight up because my back was hurting that bad. A heap of praying and a handful of Advil seemed to do the trick. Jason‘s knee settled down once we were able to stop  climbing up and down the steps carrying heavy items. We are probably 98% moved. There are probably three or four boxes still at my moms house. There are also one or two or maybe three large bulky and heavy pieces of furniture. We knew the way we were feeling that carting  a recliner up to The third floor was not a good choice. Likewise with the bulky corner cupboard. Nothing that is necessary for survival for a couple weeks. My brother and sister-in-law and their kids saved the day on Sunday when they helped us with a huge load of stuff after Easter lunch.

On Monday we kicked butt on Sunday evening and all day Monday with the unpacking. By Monday night we were mostly done. On Monday we got Internet and cable and on Tuesday our new couch was delivered. Tuesday was a day of rest. We did one or two errands made a meal or two and simply because baking is synonymous with Home for me, I baked a strawberry cake. (Which might I add I found a delicious recipe!)

The day of rest is over and it is back to work today. And I’m still tired and achy.

One would think that all of this activity would show me down on the scales. Wouldn’t that be nice?  Not so,

I am up about 2 pounds. I know my water consumption has been horrible, I know my scales are finicky when you move them a little bit....so moving the scales could make a difference of a few pounds, and I know my muscles are sore and probably filled with water from the heavy workouts of moving. So I am not going to stress it. 

Running? Not yet I’m too tired to achy. But it is coming.

Mertz my cat is a totally different cat at the new place. She seems to have more confidence. Before she would hide almost all the time. Thw last few days she’s been out almost constantly with us. Last night she even spent quite a bit of time laying on the couch with us. For Mertz this is huge. It’s been fun to watch her transformation

We have been eating at home and adding more veggies into our diet.   

Gearing up!

Well, I just realized that I did not post anything last week. So let’s just get last weeks  weight out-of-the-way.  I maintained. I’m actually OK with a maintain  for last week. About two or three weeks ago I had decided that I was going to try to make wise choices with my eating but not worry about my weight until we move.  There are so many factors into that. Lack of prep time for food, limited kitchen use, stress of moving and packing, stress of mother crying about the aforementioned  move and just the normal issues I have had in the last couple years where I’m living.

So this past weekend I was packing, and I almost packed my scales. Seriously, I had made the decision to not worry about my weight… So why even weigh in. I couldn’t do it though! The scales stayed out because I have a weekly weigh in every Wednesday morning!   Well it’s Wednesday morning and I stepped on the scales.   I was pleasantly surprised.  I was down about two pounds. I’ll take it!  And for the record, the scale is now packed.

Including today (Wednesday), two days of work and two more sleeps before we move. I am absolutely giddy with excitement! I am concerned about my lower back, it has been tender for the last couple weeks. Luckily most of our furniture is light weight and we have a dolly.  We  also opted to pay for delivery for some new furniture… Namely a heavy couch.  But yeah...lots of lifting and carrying.   Oh and did I mention it’s a third floor apartment?  No elevator????   Yeah we wanted top floor...that was our first choice!   As for steps....good for us!!

We are both excited about beginning this new stage and phase of life and our enhancing our relationship and we are ready to do it with healthy habits. We have eaten so poorly of late that we are both excited about the fruits and vegetables and healthier choices that we will be more easily able to make. No promises when I begin, it will depend upon my back and how I handle the move.....But I’m also really looking forward to getting back into running. 

I’m gearing up for great things! In so many areas of my life love, wait, running. Life is full of promise and hope!!

Weigh in

So my weekly weigh in....246.    Still down from my high weight from the first of the year...but up from previous weeks.   But I know I did it to myself so I can’t say anything.

I’m keeping my food in check thus far this week.   And I’m tracking....so I know for SURE that I’m on target.  

That’s all.  For weight at least.

Back pain....yes my back has been so tender as of late. Is it my mattress (it was cheap when I bought it..and getting old)?  My excess weight?   My posture?   My lack of exercise?   I don’t know but I’m concerned...we are moving in 16 days...   so I am trying to stretch it...exercise it.  And I am working on my posture!  At work mostly.   I slouch in my desk chair...bad!  So the first thing I did was lock my work chair in the upright position.    Wow...that is rough ...so different!    The next thing I noticed?  When sitting straight I typically like to tuck my leg under me...sitting on one leg or the other.   This one is hard to break too!     But I’m trying! (I feel as if I’m falling out of the chair when my leg is not tucked!!).  The third thing I noticed...I usually lean to the left.  Even sitting up straight I lost leftward.   Changes...hard to fix but I’m working!

Moving....I am sooooo excited!   I have to curb my excitement because anytime I mention it near mom she bursts into tears.  I fairness, know that it’s probably worse because of dad dying...but she was lamenting me moving out months before Jason and I even made any plans.  She would make comments like ‘I just know you and Jason are going to want to live together someday and leave dad and I and I don’t want you to move.” And she would cry...months before dad got really ill.    So I’m constantly trying to curb my excitement!   Last. Igor I slipped and said ‘17 more sleeps’ and she just sobbed.   Sigh...........it’s hard being so excited but being made to feel bad about it.

16 more sleeps!!!!!!!

Weigh in

So my weekly weigh in....246.    Still down from my high weight from the first of the year...but up from previous weeks.   But I know I did it to myself so I can’t say anything.

I’m keeping my food in check thus far this week.   And I’m tracking....so I know for SURE that I’m on target.  

That’s all.  For weight at least.

Back pain....yes my back has been so tender as of late. Is it my mattress (it was cheap when I bought it..and getting old)?  My excess weight?   My posture?   My lack of exercise?   I don’t know but I’m concerned...we are moving in 16 days...   so I am trying to stretch it...exercise it.  And I am working on my posture!  At work mostly.   I slouch in my desk chair...bad!  So the first thing I did was lock my work chair in the upright position.    Wow...that is rough ...so different!    The next thing I noticed?  When sitting straight I typically like to tuck my leg under me...sitting on one leg or the other.   This one is hard to break too!     But I’m trying! (I feel as if I’m falling out of the chair when my leg is not tucked!!).  The third thing I noticed...I usually lean to the left.  Even sitting up straight I lost leftward.   Changes...hard to fix but I’m working!

Moving....I am sooooo excited!   I have to curb my excitement because anytime I mention it near mom she bursts into tears.  I fairness, know that it’s probably worse because of dad dying...but she was lamenting me moving out months before Jason and I even made any plans.  She would make comments like ‘I just know you and Jason are going to want to live together someday and leave dad and I and I don’t want you to move.” And she would cry...months before dad got really ill.    So I’m constantly trying to curb my excitement!   Last. Igor I slipped and said ‘17 more sleeps’ and she just sobbed.   Sigh...........it’s hard being so excited but being made to feel bad about it.

16 more sleeps!!!!!!!

Disgust

Yes I have been missing in action...and yes that usually means bad things on a weigh loss blog.

Crazily enough I have been holding on...staying within. A few pound range. Not really gaining...not really losing.  The bad part?  It’s not a weight range that I want to be in!!!

So I made a vow to work on this during the yalear 2018.  Thus far it’s been a bit of a failure. I want  to say colossal, but I am down about a pound...but for 2.5 months that’s not much...but it’s not a gain and it is a tiny tiny loss so it’s not a colossal failure!!!

On New Years I also vowed that my eating like crazy to the point of sickness was ending too.  Yeah this past weekend I did it again!

What is my problem??  Seriously?  

My clothes feel tight and icky and I’m just not happy!!

I have a good friend that is killing this weight loss thing this year.   She is doing amazing!!!   She is inspiring me to get serious!!!!!

But right now...I’m just disgusted with myself!!!

Insanity

Ok….the scoop.   

I started the month at 247.2 (and the year)

Two weeks ago I was 244.  

Last week with the ick and whatever I was at 246 and some change

Today I was at 245.2.

 

So……a victory for this one week….. with a loss of 0.8

A Victory for the month with a loss of 2 pounds

A fail in that I didn’t recoup last weeks ‘ick’ weigh gain.

A fail in that 2 pounds for the month is NOT MUCH…not to mention that 2 pounds for two months is worse!

 

What gets me is that I am a creature of habit….I eat pretty much the exact same thing week in and week out. (That will change some when we move…especially since Jason is seriously talking about reviving his plan to start juicing…for breakfast and lunch….and then a normal dinner…which will be healthier since we will be eating at home and cooking versus going out….and yes we are excited about it!)  But back to the creature of habit.  I ate the same to things for those first two weeks that I ate the last two weeks.  It’s NUTS!  But then who said that weight loss efforts were sane and full of common sense!

 

But I’m not giving up….I will figure out this insanity!

Meanwhile Jason and I continue to pack and purge and prepare for our move!!!  And well...some fun here and there too!!

Feast or famine

So apparently my weight loss results are either feast or famine!    The first two weeks of the month I was killing it on the scales!  I was feeling strong and confident.

And then this week rolled around.  My weight was up on the scales for my official weigh in!   Grrrr! 

My eating was pretty good.  I had my  splurge day on Saturday....but every other day was in line!!!  

  I did eat some heavier sodium foods this week.    My monthly visitor (aka the ick) has arrived.   I haven’t been doing as well with water consumption. 

But I was up!!!   I’m not happy!

Even worse?  Some of my pants are feeling tighter.  What’s up with that???

So I’m just not happy and feeling a bit defeated!

Politically incorrect

I’m a retard!!  That’s all I can say!!!

So the other day I had a fabulous weigh in.  I even wrote that there was some disbelief at the weigh in numbers!    

Let me back track and say that I had done a sneak peek at the scales a day or two before that weigh in and saw the scales down by a pound.   So I was expecting a loss.  But I kinda forgot about that weigh in when I saw the scales on Wednesday morning.

Yet the loss of 5.6 pounds was incredible.  Shock awe and disbelief!

On the way home from work on Wednesday night it just hit me.  Instead of 240.0.  I bet it said 244.0.    I was weighing myself before 5AM so it was  not out of the realm of possibility that I was half asleep, half comatose and just not with it and read it wrong.    

I thought about it the whole drive home.  And then I remembered that sneak peek on the scales that showed me down by about a pound...only a day or two before! Hold the horses....that would mean a 4 pound loss in just a day...no flu that caused vomit, diarrhea and lack of eating either!    It was not looking good for my great weigh in!

So on Thursday I weighed myself 243.2 and this morning (Friday) 243.0. So yeah....I’m going to go with 244.0 as my weight for Wednesday.

Am I disappointed?  No not really.  That is STILL a loss of 1.6 pounds  for the week and 3.2 for the month.   How can I be upset with that???

So yes...welcome to my re-tard moment!

Shock awe and disbelief

I looked! I looked again!  No, it couldn’t be. I stepped off. I turned to walk away. I looked back to read the display One more. Did the scales really say that?

My Boomerang weight or a couple years was right around 238 to 240  pounds. I would lose a few I would gain a few, but right within that range was where I stayed for years. Last year in August I switched jobs. I started walking on my lunch breaks and eating a piece of fruit while I walked. I was still eating candy and snacks but I started to slowly lose weight. Ever so slowly, but I was dropping. With no exercise I was OK with slow and steady. By the end of October to early November I was down about 6- 8 pounds.  Like I said, I was happy. And then life happened. I totally lost control. In a very short time frame, I not only regained those 8 pounds but added another 8 to 10 pounds to my weight. Why yes, I gained just about 20 pounds in less than a month. How embarrassing is that?

I started the year 2018 at 247.2 pounds. I made a vow that that would change. January was kind of trial and error and sadly enough while I showed losses on the scale through the month it was a seesaw on the scales.  So January ended and I was exactly the same as I was at the beginning. Enter February!  I renewed my motivation and vowed to attack it again.  My first Wednesday weigh in showed a 1.6 pound loss with my weight being 245.6.   That was happy news. So I kept doing the same thing I did that previous week. I stuck with the granola bar for breakfast, the fruit and vegetables for lunch along with either pretzels or a 100 calorie pack and for dinner I ate whatever I wanted ...with in reason. Dinner was anything from pizza, subs, chicken tenders.  Whatever. No deprivation… I still ate my sweet treat on the weekends and while I tracked, it was not something I did as a militant regime… But rather something that I did just to have a guideline of what I was eating.

It worked, even better on week two. When I kept looking at the scale this morning and when I turned back to look at the readout one more time, I did it in shock,  happiness and disbelief. 240 pounds. That is a loss of 5.6 pounds for the past week and brings my total loss for the year (February really) to a grand total of 7.2 pounds.

I am back to the boomerang weight!   I’m not sitting way far above it anymore!   Now to squash that weight and see the boomerang weight for the last time ever!

I’m actually a little afraid to get back on the scales because of the disbelief.

Finally! Finally, I may have found the magic equation for me to lose weight at this time and point in my life. What worked before stopped working and I was beating my head against the wall getting nowhere. It wasn’t until I sat back and said I want this and I’m willing to change my methods that I started seeing results.  I had to stop feeling sorry and make the changes necessary!

Furthermore this is once again proof positive that weight is lost in the kitchen and not the gym. Yes I am still climbing the stairs at work… But I’m not doing anything else other than some random walks. It is so bad that it is considered a good day if I make it to 5000 steps on my fit bit. Yet I lost!

I know as I add exercise back in once my life settles down that it will Paul’s an adjustment to my eating again. But I’ve got this!

Empowering

I’m feeling a little bit proud today! For a couple reasons.

I weighed myself on Saturday  for my midweek check-in and I was down on the scales. Hopefully, that will convey on the official weigh in, which will occur on Wednesday. Last month it didn’t but I’ve got my fingers crossed for this month to be different.

Saturday, we stopped to grab a bite to eat for lunch. At the end of last year, I would order a sandwich and a large fry. In January I did change to a sandwich and a small fry. But yesterday I just got the sandwich. And a real funny thing happened. I was totally satisfied with just the sandwich, I did not miss the fries, I did not lament the fact that I did not get them, I didn’t leave hungry and  I did not feel deprived. Honestly, I felt empowered.  I beat the addiction...even if only for a few minutes!

Saturday night we got the normal pizza and wings that we get every Saturday night.. I had just two pieces of pizza and two small wings. And instead of shoveling the pizza crust into my mouth… I left it. I’m not a big fan of the crust I like the cheesy and saucy  goodness of the pizza...and crust is not saucy cheesy goodness. However, I typically shove the crust down my gullet simply because it’s there....typical addiction behavior.  Not on Saturday!!

I did plan my weekend sweet treat. And I thoroughly enjoyed it. I ate half on Saturday and half on Sunday night.
I’m feeling empowered and ready to face the week.

How awesome is my boyfriend? He has had a handful of service calls in the neighboring communities to where we will be living. He has been scoping out places for me to run! OK and places for him to get a quick ride in in the morning before he goes to work also. But seriously how awesome is that?

So let’s talk about last weeks goals

1.  Climb the stairs at work twice a day. 

2. Get on the bike trainer. 

3. Four bottles of water a day

4.  Track and keep the calorie under my budget.  (The budget is set for me to lose 1 pound a week..cuz slow and steady wins the race!)

So how did I do???

As an average I did the steps twice a day. There was one day I did it three times but one day only did it once and there were two days where I actually did two or three flights more than my floor.

Water… I hit four bottles about half of the time I think that was two or three days and the rest of the days I managed three bottles of water.

The bike trainer… Not once. Better look this week? I got sidetracked every evening. I am so tired at night by the time I get home that I really only have half hour maybe an hour before I drop off to sleep. I have a move coming up in seven weeks. Every night I’m taking 30 to 40 minutes of that precious time I have available, And using it to pack and purge and clean. I know I still need to get on the bike. 

Tracking....and under budget.  Absolutely!!!

So what are the goals for this week?  Pretty much the same water, stairs, bike and yes,  I’m continuing to track my food.

Progress

I am feeling pretty empowered right now.  Somehow, probably due to my lack of a backbone and utterly no control; I ended up with a Wendy’s Frosty in my possession on Sunday night.   I actually, miraculously exhibited self control.   

On Sunday night we had spicy Cajun food for dinner and a frosty sounded good.  I got home on and took about two or three bites and was too stuffed to comfortably continue.  So I put it in the freezer.  On Monday night I actually pulled it out of the freezer..but then I realized I was full.  Back into the freezer it went without even a single bite.   Tuesday night came and went and it didn’t even come out of the freezer.  Now Wednesday morning and that frosty is STILL in the freezer.   What a huge victory!!!!

Now let’s make this clear, I’m not saying that I won’t eat that Frosty tonight..or tomorrow...or sometime soon.  I’m saying that the victory is in the fact that I listened to my body and choose to NOT have it when my body was already full.   For me, that is huge!  I typically keep eating and eating and eating because ‘it’s there’. And because ‘it’s so good’.    I think I just won a round in my war against my food addiction!!!

So today was my weigh in day...I was down two pounds from my high of last Wednesday.   Thank heavens!!!!  I feel more empowered with seeing that...so I’m ready to keep going with what I’m doing.

I’ve tracked...and my calories are in line with where they need to be to lose at least one pound a week.

Yes my weekend was over in the caloric budget, but that is my balance.  I’m not worried about the weekends as much because I know with the weekends of allowing myself to indulge a bit that I won’t feel as deprived...and when I do allow myself to have something later down the line it won’t be such a rush of bliss that I will lose control.

And meanwhile in everyday life.   This week at work has been nuts!  It’s been busy....there have computer issues. (My computer only).....ice and snow...and just plain craziness!      Last night I started on the next phase of the purge and pack.  Clothes in the one dresser were on the chopping block.  I have packed things that are a wee bit tight.   You know, the things that get pushed to the back/bottom and you forget about!    I threw away one or two thinngs that had tiny holes or stains.  And I added to the goodwill pile!   I am so tired in the evening after my long day of work and commute that I plan on doing 20-30 minutes each night.   It will mean that my living space will be in a constant state of messiness...but that also means that I won’t be staying up until midnight the week before we move and/or carting stuff that I no longer want or need.

So progress all the way around. Progress toward moving.  Progress on the scales.  Progress in the war against my food addiction.   And best of all...progress in this work week...cuz it’s hump day...halfway to the weekend!!!

Exciting Changes

I am going small .....weekly goals!

1.  Stairs at work at least from lobby to my floor,  2 times a day at work.

2.  Bike trainer...at least twice

3.  Calories in check and tracked for every day

4.  Water water water...at least four bottles a day

All doable...

 Back to work after a nice weekend.....ok it was a bit icy....but I still had a great weekend!  And honestly, I can’t stop grinning from ear to ear!

Why?

We went apartment hunting!  Ok we have been apartment hunting for a while...but we went to look at one that we were both totally interested in!

Yup...this is the apartment we are looking at (or one like it)

It is on our price range, has a full size washer and dryer, a second bedroom/den (also known as the bike bedroom), and is in the location that we wanted.  (we would have liked closer to my work but that 20 miles is sour 300-400 bucks different a month....and a smaller place...so 20 miles from my work and about 2 from Jason’s)

We had already talked that we would prefer a top floor....and preferably not staring out over the parking lot.  But this place we were looking at doesn’t get this size open too often apparently.  The first available was for the end of March.  (After that I think one in April), so we knew we would take whatever and not be took picky. 

So the place available at the end of March? 

**Top floor...yay

**back of building overlooking ‘green space’...yay

**upgraded unit with new appliance and kitchen....yay

**minute away from 270...the main road to my work..and in the zone we wanted to be in...yay

**cats accepted.....yay

We filled out our application on Saturday.  And by Sunday they had notified us that we got it and it was being held for us...hold fee hasbeen paid.    We are moving Easter weekend!

There are really nice neighborhoods right across the street ....a 5 mike trail down the road in one direction...a park down the road in another direction.....lots of places to run!!!  (And a 24 hour fitness room in the complex)

We are ready and excited to clean up our eating!   

We are excited!

We are also experiencing some of that ‘wow our relationship is changing big time’ nerves.  But we haven’t rushed into this at all!  We will be about 2.5 years into our relationship by the time we move.  So I know we will be fine.  But it’s exciting and scary all the same!

February

Ok my first of February post is on the second...what if it???  Hahaha

And that darn groundhog needs to be shot...who wants another 6 weeks of winter??

January was a bummer in the end.  My weight loss was non existent.    

Well...weight loss was a bummer....Jason and I had a great month hiking and antiquing and enjoying life together!

So on to February.   In personal matters...Jason and I are hot on the trail of an apartment...we are going to look at it tomorrow.  We have some hiking plans and if the weather is nice...biking.   If we like the apartment and get it, we won’t be moving until the end of March /beginning of April.   So the months will be spent purging, cleaning and packing.  (Jason has driven through the area and looked at the apartment...he says it is awesome and he says the area is safe...which means I should be able to start running again...especially with cutting 1.5-2 hours off my commute (between the morning and afternoon it’s 1.5 to 3 hours). 

In weight loss I have not given up.  I am watching my calories...trying to limit my carbs (my nemesis) and being as active as my current schedule allows.

I have been walking the steps at work...

I am also still tracking.   I’m going to win this battle...this war if it’s the last thing I do!!!

Rattled

So January is on its way out......and it just so happened that this was my weigh in day so I have an official weigh in to report.

So here it is....I weigh 0.2 pounds MORE than I was at the beginning of the month.   I’m disallusioned beyond belief right now.  Near tears.  Frustrated. And angry.

I haven’t been perfect.  I know that.  And I’m not aiming for perfection!    But I have been so much more on point than I was in December and November.   

I have weighed every Wednesday for my ‘official’ weigh in and I’ve weighed every Saturday for my unofficial check in.   Wednesday’s I’ve been up....Saturday’s I’ve been down.  All within a 4 pound range.  

As you can see day one was high and the. The rest of the month I fluctuated between two pounds but still showing lower than January 1.  But today...boom...right back up there!  

I am running right at goal in terms of calories to lose 1 pound a week. (That goal is 1750...and my average was 1762).  

I will say that I had a bad feeling when I woke up that the scales were not going to be friendly.  Why?  I woke up thirsty.   That usually indicates that I am retaining water....dehydrated (I drank 4 or 5 bottles of water yesterday though!).  And the monthly ick has been part of my week...another whammy.   But seriously.....really????

Wow...excuses.....did I just negate those excuses as invalid and not acceptable?   That’s a first for me!!!  

So on to the midweek report.

I have restarted the stairs at work. 

My knee still is a bit sore but it’s capable of climbing!

Jason and I walked outside on Monday night. 

 But sadly there had been no bike trainer for me.  I have been utterly exhausted each night by the time I get home.  Jason mentioned my ‘spacey-ness’ on Monday night and my mom mentioned it on Tuesday night....so I know it’s not just me trying to find a reason.  I’m just plain exhausted.    Maybe I’m fighting off the germs that Jason probably shared with me last week when he was sick with a cold.  I have no symptoms (other than some sinus pressure) but maybe my body is just busy fighting it off.  Who knows.

I have been tracking everything!   As I mentioned I’m actually eating in amounts that should have me losing 1 pound a week.  And lots of fruits and veggies....not all junk!

I’m just ratttled because I’ve tried this month and I don’t have much to show for my effort....just some overly tight pants and some memories of carrots and grapes.  

That’s all Folks

We had a nice quiet weekend.  It was just what we needed.  My knee is not back to 100% yet and Jason has been fighting off a cold.   When I say relaxing...I certainly mean it...I even got a nap in on Saturday afternoon.  No long hikes...just some strolls through antique stores!!!  But seriously....check out this old washing machine!!

We sat and looked at it for a while and I took pictures for my handsome appliance repair boyfriend!   

I enjoyed my weekend immensely.  I did indulge in my sweet treats.  And now that it’s Monday I’m ready to eat healthier.  The weekend relaxation of the ‘rules’ seems to be working for me!    My calorie count only jumped about 300-400 calories on the weekend days. So it’s not like I’m going totally overboard on the weekend.  And I’m super ready for the week ahead with the lower calorie goal!  

This might be my perfect balance this time around....indulge a bit on the weekend and straight up on target the week days.   The best of both worlds.  The magic balance that I need!

And I’m determined...the bike WILL be ridden this week....and the stairs WILL be climbed at work!!!

And as the old looney toons cartoon says...that’s all folks!   Nothing  overly profound today!

Learning curve

Let’s see...where to begin.....

My knee.  It still hurts but it is finally scabbed over.  So at least the open wounds are on the way to recovery!  It still hurts to bend...but I think my gait is back to normal...mostly.   Yesterday at work I decided to try the steps.  I made it a few flights up and regretted my decision.   My company does not utilize the lower floors...and my badge only allows me access to my company’s floors and the lobby level.  So there I was a few flights in and debating what would be best on my knee ...climb or descend.   It might have been easier to descend...but I’m tough so I completed my climb!   I’ll try again today...maybe.

I’m giving myself this week for recovery.  Next week it is game on.  ‘It’s only....’. It’s only a few minutes of climbing the steps.  It’s only a few minutes on the bike trainer.  It’s only a few minutes of my time!  No excuses!  (Although an injury was a valid excuse!!). And seriously..it’s only a few weeks or good eating habits to lose the necessary weight to beat Jason in this current weight loss challenge!!!

My weekly weigh in on Wednesday was a disappointment.   Truly!    I am still down from my New Years weight...(by 1.6). But up from my low the second weigh in if the new year!!!  Right now it is  just not moving.  It’s kind of disgusting to think about!

But I did think about it!!

The first thing I did?  I Pulled out the trusty MyFitnessPal app.  (It was on my phone just unused recently.).  I have since the very beginnng had it set to lose 2 pounds a week.   I am determined to make this weight loss journey a balance.  I do not want to be militant about it.  I want to make this a lifestyle that I can continue forever.   Which means I will indulge in a donut here and there...I will have a breakfast sandwich on the way to work sometimes (today for example..more on that later!). I want to find that magical balance of restriction and indulgence.  So the first thing I did when I opened the app was to go into the settings and my profile.  I changed my goal of losing from 2 pounds a week to 1 pound a week.   That changed my calorie count to  1900.  That number scared me...so I backed it off to 1.5 pounds a week and that changed me to 1600 calories.   And that is from the 1200 figure that I’ve been trying to hit for years.   1600 gives me a bit more freedom and maybe some days I will get 1200 and maybe on the cheat day I may have more......but I feel that 1600 is doable on a daily basis. 

So I have been tracking...and I even went back to Sunday and tracked back that far.  (My cheat weekend day?  Saturday was 1900 and  Sunday was 1750..so not out of control)

So yesterday on the way to work I was DYING for a Burger King breakfast sandwich (yeah I know...bad!!). I resisted yesterday.  And yes I’m proud of myself because with what we had for dinner I would have been way over.... I barely made my calorie count as it was. But last night we decided upon our dinner for tonight and I know that what I will order is lower calories...and this morning I put my lunch and dinner into the counter and found that caolorie wise I could ‘afford’ the breakfast I wanted.  So I indulged.   And..,,  I will still be in my calorie range!!

My next step is to start to limit my carbs a bit more!!!  I honestly think that’s a huge part of my problem!!!  But that is the  next step...right now I’m settling back into tracking!!!

Regroup...adjust...move forward!

Oops

I had my next blog post planned in my head. You see I realized the other day that my ‘its just’ plan for eating and staying in line could parlay into exercise.  ‘It’s just 10 minutes on the bike trainer’. Just 10.....

And with that I was going to vow to adopt that mentality to exercise this week.  But.....

Jason and I had a nice weekend.  The weather was fantastic!!!  We got out and hiked.  

We went to an overlook.

And we hiked to some columnar jointings. 

We had a great hike!!  And a fabulous time together.

Well....except for the fact that after we hiked down to the site of the last picture. We turned around to go back to the main trail.  It was an uphill rock scramble.  The best we can figure, my toe must have caught under a lip of a rock and I felt myself going down.  Face down...down an incline...onto a jagged bed of rocks.  I saw a tree and three myself at it...but not before landing on my knee.    The knee didn’t look too bad.....immediately bruising though.  And skin broken open.

Of course I fell on a rock that had two jagged points face up.  The pain was intense and instantaneous.  So bad that my stomach immediately started flipping! I’ve not had that stomach clenching pain often ..but I don’t like it!!!  I sat there and cried for a bit..we cleaned my leg and I got up and walked.   Seriously...I wasn’t calling for emergency help....not unless my leg was dangling useless. (We were couple miles up a mountain trail...it would have been a huge production to get me out had I really needed assistance.).  I made it about 5 minutes (if that) up the trail and had to stop again because of the waves of naseua.  Luckily that was the last of that.  

We got back to the main trail and by golly I was up there on top of that mountain to see the overlook and I was going to hike up there and see it!!!  So we hiked the 0.2 miles to the overlook!

My saving grace?  It was my favorite kind of hike...uphill on the front end and downhill at the end!  So I knew that the hike out was downhill...it still hurt but hey...it was better than the exertion of climbing too!

Soooooo...today my knee is pretty tender and scratched.....black and blue ....and still a bit bloody. (It hadn’t scabbed and is still oozing...).    So there will be no ‘it’s just 10’ of any exercise...I’m taking it easy and letting it heal!!  And no I still don’t know why the pain hit so hard on an injury that apparently wasn’t too bad!

So a fun weekend and now some recouperation time!!!