Four weeks

​Today will mark Four weeks since we settled on our new house…and this upcoming Friday will mark 4 weeks since we have been living in this house.  What a crazy four weeks it has been! There have been tears.  There has been lots of hard work.  There has been lots of happiness. And let’s not forget lots and lots of moving!

Exhaustion

I have spent most of the last four weeks in a state of pure and utter exhaustion.  Most of the time I have been physically and/or mentally exhausted.  Our moving plan (based on necessity as it has just been the two of us)  has been amazingly long and utterly draining.   The last time I wrote (two weeks ago) I wrote about this. Luckily at that point ‘most’ of the big stuff was moved and we only had one more big load.  I had been optimistically hoping to get a lot of our boxes in there during that load.  But my grand plans were not to be.   We had some bulky odd shaped items that took up lots of room.  (Portable quilting frame…big perch/playground for our bird….just to name two).

Every night after work, Jason stops by the apartment and fills up his car with boxes and ‘goodies’ from the apartment. (I had everything packed and in the living room).   We unload his car and the next day I spend my spare time (before and after work, breaks and my lunch time) to unpack those boxes…or to move the storage items to the basement.  The apartment is mostly empty and devoid of boxes…there are some things left…but not much. (This week will finish that up).  The plan is to next week go and clean that place so that we can turn our key in and be totally done.

On top of the move, we have had yard work.   We are adjusting to the yard work and never have enough time in the weekend to get things done.   The property was rented for years and the yard shows the disinterest of renters.  Flower beds are overgrown.  The garden path is in disarray.  This will definitely be the year of reclaiming.  So we have spent hours upon hours doing yard work.

So to boil this all down.  There has been more than day when the utter exhaustion breaks me down.  Some days I’m in tears from the physical exhaustion.  But I have had days when I’ve been overwhelmed mentally as I’m trying to shuffle it all and I just want to cry. (Ha..ok I admit…I have cried.).  Right now it is a thing of just trying to keep our heads above the water.  And luckily, this never ending move is ALMOST behind us.  Also almost behind us (hopefully) is the need to push mow this property….which with two mowers running at the same time takes us about 3.5 hours.    So there is a light at the end of the tunnel. 

Weight Loss Efforts

So what about my weight loss efforts?  I just laugh and say,  “What efforts!”  I didn’t get my scale until last weekend and my years long habit of weighing myself every morning was broken…and most mornings I don’t even think about it.   I have tried to curb the desserts…I vowed last week this time to get serious and track food and make healthy choices.  But, let’s admit, I haven’t tried very hard!   

Let’s however give credit where credit is due.  We are back to eating at home…and that includes healthy servings of vegetables.  

So, after a few weeks of moving and ‘hard labor’ but crazy eating what happened on the scales?  I brought them home a week ago.  I was fearful when I stepped on. But, I dropped 5 pounds.   All I’m going to say is that is a true testament as to how hard I have been working because I have been eating ‘vacation levels’ of food and I have gained 5-10 pounds on those weeks….and here I just ate like that for a month but actually lost weight.

I am not a fool though.  I know that if I don’t curb the eating…like NOW, that I will start to gain weight sooner or later as things start to settle down.  So I am vowing that today is the day.  I’m done with the constant barrage of desserts that pass my list.  I am done with the plethora of snacks that find their way into my hands.  I am vowing to clean up my eating starting here and now (it’s Monday morning as I wrote this).

My body has felt like death much of this experience.  I have been in pain.  It’s been really difficult. And the worst part about it is that I know that I feel horrible because I let myself go!  I gained weight over the last 10 years.  I have let my fitness level slip away.  And I am paying the price right now.

So I know that it has to change!  And I’m vowing to start that change today.  My body is still being abused with moving (almost done) so I’m not planning on diving into heavy exercise yet…but cleaning up my eating….game on!!!

The Pits

Moving is certainly the pits!  That’s really all I can say.  It is horrible!  Oh sure, you get to purge stuff you no longer want.  You get to start over in a brand new spotless house (easy spring cleaning).   Everything is fresh and new.  But the formal act of packing your belongings, moving said belongings to a different location and then unpacking those belongings….absolutely the pits!

We settled on our house about two weeks ago.  (May 16th).  We spend that week moving furniture and boxes.  We did it ourselves using my brothers cargo van.  Small loads at a time.  It prolonged the misery but since it was literally Jason and I alone doing all the moving it was the best option for us as we didn’t overtax ourselves and rather took our time with breaks for our bodies.  (Let’s not forget we lived on a  third floor apartment with no elevator….steps are the devil in a move!). Even so, we were sore…achy and I was covered with bruises!

We actually started to stay at our new place a week ago…the Friday after settlement.  Most of our belongings have been moved, but we do have one more trip with the van to make.  We have about three of four ‘larger items’ that we need to move in the van…but nothing too terrible. (The exercise bike….terrible to love.  The couch…..hideous to move.  Heavy awkward stuff is just a bummer to move!).  We have some more boxes and random items that we may be able to get in this last van load.  But as long as we get the big items we are good because we can throw other stuff in a car.  (And Jason still works near our apartment so he can grab stuff each day when he is in that area).   We actually have the apartment until the end of June (when our lease ends) so there is some wiggle room.  I just want to say that the move is done!  I want it behind me!!

That said…..(confession time)…..

* I haven’t weight myself in about two weeks.   The scales are still at the apartment!   I plan on grabbing them this weekend!  I’m curious…and worried about what those scales may reveal!

* I haven’t tracked a single bite of my food in the last umpteen weeks!  Not a single solitary bite!

* I haven’t even THOUgHt about or tried to curb my eating.  I’ve eaten what I wanted and when I wanted.  I can honestly say it wasn’t good…but thank heavens my eating, while not great wasn’t that bad.  However, The scales will be the true judge!

*. There has been desserts involved…and diet soda won out over water a few days.

* formal exercise…like I was planning for my time in the mornings and evenings while Jason commuted to work….has not yet commenced.  Furthermore, I haven’t been on that exercise bike in about three weeks….so I know that I am behind in my 2022 mile challenge!

So lots of confessions there!   I wish it could have been an easy bruise-less move.  I wish I could have sailed through it with healthy foods, tracking every bite and n100% on plan.  But that wasn’t how it went.  

This weekend we move more stuff…but I plan on restarting my exercise bike riding….at the very least…next week during work!    I’ve got some miles to make up!  Will my legs feel horrible for a gazillion steps that I had to go up and down this weekend.  Sure, but I can’t let that stop me!!!!

Right around the Corner

​closing on our new house is right around the corner.  Yes…literally right around the corner.   Wow…this move just got real….

Yes, I got the notice yesterday that we are cleared for settlement.  I got our final figure on exactly how much money we need for closing….and the loan company has given me the final figured so we now know exactly how much our mortgage payment will be and all that stuff.   I got the “thanks for using us…you will get your first mortgage bill right around this date…if you don’t get it by then just give us a call….been nice doing business…goodbye.”    It’s all on the hands of the settlement company right now.   So it’s Thursday and our settlement is set for Monday.  I told you…this just got real.

Today is my last day of work for this week.  I had previously (like 4-5 months ago) randomly asked for tomorrow (Friday) off.  (I have use it or lose it time and I get more than Jason so I just randomly take days off….and spend them with mom usually.)   I toyed with canceling the day…since settlement isn’t until Monday.  But I have ultimately decided to keep it off.  I can take care of some banking business….instead of waiting until the last minute.  I can also continue packing…. Oh who am I kidding, I’ll probably spend the day with mom…although I haven’t told her that I will be arriving on her doorstep yet!

Packing has gone well.   We are nowhere near fully packed.  Part of the lackadaisical attitude is the fact that we actually have possession of our apartment until june 30th.   So while we are excited and anxious to get moved, it’s not imperative that we do it in a crazy day long move to vacate one place by the deadline and get into the next place moments after settlement.    The other thing…our apartment is small…and I have stuff stacked everywhere…we plan on making a few smaller loads…and not doing one big trick at one time.  So once I get the first load packed and moved it will be easier to navigate and move on this apartment.  This weekend the plan is that we will be reduced to eating on paper plates and using plastic silverware.  Hahahah. We will also be eating foods that are prepackaged…can we say hello frozen pizza?  (At least that is the plan….I have a sneaky feeling we will end up picking up to go!)

Weight loss…it’s still on hold.  I’m just trying to maintain.   And if I maintain, I’ll call it a victory!!!

Packing…worry…packing

​Packing and worrying.  That seems to be my life right now.  Weight loss….it’s in the back of my mind and I think about it a lot, but…..

Packing to Move

I started to pack as soon as we went under contract for the house we are buying.   My goal has been 2 boxes a day.  Some days that is all I do, but usually I get rolling and get a few extra boxes done.  I have moved through the ‘I’m so overwhelmed’ phase of moving and now I’m starting to see a light at the end of the tunnel..maybe.    It has been somewhat easy as we have known for a while that we would be moving..so I have saved boxes.  So it was a thing of buying packing tape and putting the boxes back together before I fill them.  I also spent the last year and a half purging.  For a while I was challenging myself to purge at least one item a day.  With that done I didn’t have to sort and make decisions while packing, the devotions were mostly already made.  

 I know as the days tick closer to our settlement and move that I’ll begin to feel overwhelmed again.  But, the packing is going well at the moment.

I am overwhelmed with worry about the actual move.  I’ve been having foot issues recently.  I’m not in pristine shape right now either.   I’m very worried.  But, we are planning on doing it on our own.  (Honestly, we don’t have many friends in our area to even ask for help.)  

The actual house purchase

We are still signing papers and working on getting the paperwork for the lender done.  The paperwork has died down though, so it’s not as fast and furious as it was at the beginning.   Everything is looking to be ready for our projected settlement date.   I am still holding my breath though.   We both have had some issues in our financial history (that’s what happens sometimes in bad relationships…which we both previously had).   We have spent time cleaning up our financial history and we are currently good…but it is still there on our records (close to being old enough to fall off our credit reports) so it’s hard to be calm and not worry.   

Before we went under contract I had laughed and said that I would be nervous until settlement was done and we had keys in our hand.  Little did I know how true that would be.   Actually I also said that I would be on edge until we were settled in the house and the first few months of all the new payments and bills was behind us and we were totally settled in all aspects….I sure hope that’s not the case and as soon as settlement is done that I go back to being less stressed out.

Weight Loss

Losing weight has been in the back of my mind every day.  I’m serious.  Every. Day.     I am just trying to hold on right now though.  I honestly don’t think I have it in me right now to dive into weight loss full steam.  Weight loss for me is all encompassing when I am doing it with any success.  It turns into my full focus.  And right now my focus is elsewhere (packing and moving).   The good thing is that I’m not eating crazy.  I’m holding steady with my weight.  Not gaining…but not exactly losing.  Not optimal, but it is what it is right now. 

I have been seriously looking at Zumba classes to join after we move….online and in person.  I haven’t been able to do most ‘home exercises’ here at our apartment.  I’m on the third floor and while I pay my fair share to live here, I don’t want to be ‘that neighbor’ and stomp and jump above them.    I am looking forward to doing some Zumba classes…in the area we will live and with my schedule it looks like it will most likely be online classes.  I will actually probably pay for official classes…however I will be looking into YouTube videos also.   I plan on continuing riding the exercise bike daily.  (Of course I will…I have my 2022 miles to get this year!).  There will be yard work…and whatnot that will keep me active.   I also have made the conscious decision that when the stress of packing and moving is behind me, that I will switch that focus to weight loss.  I have to!!

Life is a crazy thing.  It is a balancing act of making everything work and balance out.  I’m working on it….win lose or draw I’m walking through the craziness!

Progress

I am feeling pretty empowered right now.  Somehow, probably due to my lack of a backbone and utterly no control; I ended up with a Wendy’s Frosty in my possession on Sunday night.   I actually, miraculously exhibited self control.   

On Sunday night we had spicy Cajun food for dinner and a frosty sounded good.  I got home on and took about two or three bites and was too stuffed to comfortably continue.  So I put it in the freezer.  On Monday night I actually pulled it out of the freezer..but then I realized I was full.  Back into the freezer it went without even a single bite.   Tuesday night came and went and it didn’t even come out of the freezer.  Now Wednesday morning and that frosty is STILL in the freezer.   What a huge victory!!!!

Now let’s make this clear, I’m not saying that I won’t eat that Frosty tonight..or tomorrow...or sometime soon.  I’m saying that the victory is in the fact that I listened to my body and choose to NOT have it when my body was already full.   For me, that is huge!  I typically keep eating and eating and eating because ‘it’s there’. And because ‘it’s so good’.    I think I just won a round in my war against my food addiction!!!

So today was my weigh in day...I was down two pounds from my high of last Wednesday.   Thank heavens!!!!  I feel more empowered with seeing that...so I’m ready to keep going with what I’m doing.

I’ve tracked...and my calories are in line with where they need to be to lose at least one pound a week.

Yes my weekend was over in the caloric budget, but that is my balance.  I’m not worried about the weekends as much because I know with the weekends of allowing myself to indulge a bit that I won’t feel as deprived...and when I do allow myself to have something later down the line it won’t be such a rush of bliss that I will lose control.

And meanwhile in everyday life.   This week at work has been nuts!  It’s been busy....there have computer issues. (My computer only).....ice and snow...and just plain craziness!      Last night I started on the next phase of the purge and pack.  Clothes in the one dresser were on the chopping block.  I have packed things that are a wee bit tight.   You know, the things that get pushed to the back/bottom and you forget about!    I threw away one or two thinngs that had tiny holes or stains.  And I added to the goodwill pile!   I am so tired in the evening after my long day of work and commute that I plan on doing 20-30 minutes each night.   It will mean that my living space will be in a constant state of messiness...but that also means that I won’t be staying up until midnight the week before we move and/or carting stuff that I no longer want or need.

So progress all the way around. Progress toward moving.  Progress on the scales.  Progress in the war against my food addiction.   And best of all...progress in this work week...cuz it’s hump day...halfway to the weekend!!!