Lets start Doing this Running Thing......again

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I have honestly missed running.  For quite a while it was a pretty important part of my life...and a pretty regular aspect!   But then life got in the way and I just didn't have the time to do it.  I found that I really missed it!  I also found that my fitness levels were decreasing the longer I went without running.  So I decided....the time is NOW!  It is time (past time) to get back to it and get in shape!   What better time than a long 5 day weekend to start!  Two runs over the course of a five day weekend...I could certainly do that. Right?  Let's see how I did!

The first run:  And I use the Term run loosely

Friday morning was the first day of my long weekend and I was determined to start.  I had a mixture of excitement and dread coursing through my veins when I woke up.   However, I was determined to do it.  I had announced it to the world and to myself and it was time to keep my promise.  (Plus, I had just purchased this really cool new toy, which I wrote about last week in this post that was ultimately to help me manage my stats during running...so maybe I should actually get some use out of this toy....my new Garmin Instinct.)

The first problem I encountered was finding my Run Buddy. (Affiliate Link)  A run buddy is a pouch that can hold keys and cellphone (or whatever).  It is attached to your pants with magnets and does not flop around....this thing is AMAZING!   Honestly, everyone that has ever seen or used mine in person has gone out to get their own!  It is absolutely the BEST way to keep your phone secure and on your person!  But I digress by singing it's praises.....my Run buddy was missing!   I know that I had used it while hiking in some pants that didn't have pockets a while back....but it wasn't where I thought it was.  It wasn't anywhere!  I looked!  DRAT.  Oh well...I would just have to hold my cell phone in my hand....and my pepper spray in the other hand ...and my keys.....wow this run just got complicated didn't it?   (And as a side note, I believe I will be clicking my own affiliate link.....is that even allowed? to buy another run buddy because I'm NOT happy with the complicated issues of going without it!)   But I didn't let the lack of my run buddy keep me from running.  Out I went!

Oh my word....was that ever brutal!  I didn't even make it 5 minutes before I needed a break from running. So I switched to intervals.  But then my shins starting hurting....my feet hurt.  Just shoot me now is what I was thinking!    I had to end up walking the second half of the run.    And you know what?  I was ok with that.  For a very brief moment I thought about turning off my brand new garmin...but then I told myself NO!  I wanted to memorialize this run.....er jog......uhhh walk!    I needed and now have  a baseline to start from.  It can only improve if I just show some consistency!

 So yeah, it was U.G.L.Y!   I'm sure it was because of the stress of losing my run buddy...right??  No....your not going to buy that???   Would you believe that the issues were caused by the fact that I was out there and then realized that I had not brought headphones so it was a quiet run?   Yeah, not buying that one either....neither am I?  Ok, it was ugly because I let myself slip into this state of disrepair!   But I'm ok with this.....I have my starting point..the line is drawn in the sand...now it's time to improve!

Run Two: return to an old friend 

I tell you, I am determined.  So the very next day, on Saturday I headed out for run two of the new reimagined me.   This time I went with headphones!   Ahhh that made all the difference in the world!  Ok ok ok, it made it more enjoyable! It however did not make me run like a gazelle!  I was still...slow!  (Why yes, I was wearing the same shirt...I did laundry on Friday afternoon and this one was at the top of the pile on Saturday when I went to get dressed...I wasn’t thinking of my photo op!!). But notice I’m at least smiling in this picture!

What made this run so much better?   I had an epiphany in the middle of the night before this run.   Why not pull up the C25K app and go through that training again!   I saw the plan for the  first week and decided that I needed something a bit more challenging.  Week three looked too challenging based on my first run.  So week two it was!   The plan for week two is to alternate....jog 90 seconds and then walk 2 minutes...back and forth for 20 minutes.  That is what I set out to do! It was a good success.  I was ready to walk each time my walk segment came up....but I knew I could probably have pushed a bit longer.  So I decided to push myself a little on my last run segment. I ran the 90 seconds.  When the app alerted me to walk, I kept running.  So my last run segment was actually 3 minutes and 30 seconds!  It was hard!  But I am glad I pushed myself!    I returned home feeling more confident about embarking on this journey!!!!

Run theee:  Day three of my 5 day weekend

Why yes, I did go out running the third day of my long weekend.   I was happy with the C25K plan from the day before, so I followed that plan again, completing day two of week two.   I did notice that my legs were a bit heavy on this run, but that’s not too shocking considering I had been running for three days straight after a long hiatus of nothing.  The previous two days I had not experienced any horrible aches or pains as a result of my runs so I knew that I was good to go for day theee.  This day was the same intervals as the previous day and I did the same thing, I pushed myself and ran the last run interval AND I ran through the last walk interval.  I was rewarded with a bush of orange roses right when my run was completed and As I was heading into my cooldown stage.

It amused me when I realized that I matched the rose bush!

That wasn’t the end of day three of my vacation  exercise/activity though.  Oh no!  We headed out on our bikes for a bike ride a bit later in the day! I was setting the pace on the out and back ride.  When we got to the point that we had about three miles left, I pushed hard. I picked up the pace  and really worked.  I wanted to challenge myself!

That evening my legs were sore.  From the muscles that were achy I could tell it was the cause the bike ride (and probably the last three miles where I was in my top gear and cranking like a mad woman).  

Knowing that we planned to get back on our bikes on Monday, I started to think about not running on Monday...a day of rest (from running) would probably be wise.

Run None: Day four of the long weekend

Ahhh. Day four.  Slow down weekend, it’s going by too fast!!!   I decided to stick with my plan to not run this day.   It wasn’t a day of rest though.  We still had a long bike ride and we took a walk!  So quite a bit of activity!  Alas...I was enjoying the weather and even more importantly the company (of course when I say we...I mean Jason and I!) and didn’t even think of a picture!   My legs were wiped out by the end of day four!   Achy and shaky!  Those are the adjectives to describe the muscles in my legs on Monday night!  Yeah, it felt good!!!

Day five: another run???

Day five arrived.  It came so fast!!!!!  Jason had to go back to work!  (Boooo....I wish he had off work off with me!). I didn’t have much planned for this day.   Some light cleaning, laundry, making a pan of lasagna, etc. the rest of the day was spent relaxing and working  on my dollhouses.   However I did have one order of business.  A run!   I woke up at the normal time and got dressed in my running clothes.   I planned to hang out with Jason until he left for work and then head out for my run.   It was after I was dressed that the monsoon rain started.  Uhhhh...this may not be good!  

I fiddled around for a few hours in the morning.  I did some laundry. I worked on my dollhouses.i delayed that run.  Let me tell you, I did NOT want to go.   I was convinced that my legs were too sore and that this should be a lazy day for me!   But then the next minute I would tell myself that I would regret it should I skip it.   So I went out.    It wasn’t fun.  I was sore.  I ran slow (slower than I had two days earlier).   I just wasn’t feeling it AT ALL!

But I did it.  I am proud of myself for facing it and doing it. I do have to wonder how much of the pain and ‘not feeling it’ was based on my predictions when I was trying to talk myself out of it.  Some self fulfilled prophecy kinda deal.  

Who knows.  But I managed to run 4 of the five days of my long weekend.  I also managed two bike rides.  I count that as a success.  I have the momentum going....now I just need to continue!!!  I’ve got this!!!!

A run in with the law: How being super active can get you in trouble

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Another weekend on the books.   We took the time to relax this weekend, as usual.  However this weekend was the first sunny and warm weekend in a while so we used it wisely and spent some time outside!  We had fun outside with biking and hiking, even with a bit of an adventure that got us in trouble with the law.

As the weekend began, we started with the routine errands.  We left the house early Saturday morning and hit the grocery stores.  Necessary evil!  After getting home I put away the groceries and took the time to clean the fruits and veggies and actually chop and prepare all of the salad items for the week.  (Everything for salad toppings is chopped and individually bagged and put in one large container...pull out the container and it’s like a mini salad bar.).  All of that was done by noon and we were ready to head out the door for some fun!

Our adventure on Saturday was to go bike riding!   We opted for the canal, an easier ride.  I was a little worried about my shoulder, an issues that I talked about in this previous post   I know that in the week proceeding the arm getting really bad that my hand had gone numb while riding, so I suspected that riding may not be a good thing for this shoulder issue.  However, I had been having very little pain so I hoped that all would be well.  But one never knows, the only thing to do was to try!    I knew almost immediatelu that biking was not going to be an awesome choice.  But I pushed through.  

Turtles in the water

By the time we were done my arm ached...ok my whole right upper quadrant ached!   I took it easy all evening and recovered...but lesson learned.  Heal completely before really spending too much time on a bike!

That isn’t snow....bring on the pollen!!!

On Sunday we relaxed a bit in the morning and did one or two quick errands before heading out.   This day we opted to go hiking.  We decided to go to Catoctin Mountain National Park.  We had a delightful time! 

The hike was harder for me than it should have been!  But that’s ok, it just emphasized my need to get fit!  What was hard?  From overlook to the base of a waterfall....that means a pretty steep incline....climbing!

Ok, maybe some of my difficulty could have been the fact that I am dealing with some sinus issue (maybe cold) and couldn’t breathe through my nose...and had drainage from my sinuses the whole time....so that does make breathing more cumbersome to begin with! But that’s an excuse...I still need to get fit!

The ‘real’ adventure started when we left the trailhead.  I was driving along and we saw a rattlesnake crossing the road.  Now let me say that I have seen snakes in the wild, but never a rattle snake.  Jason has always talked about how he would love for me to hear the rattle of a rattlesnake BEFORE we are hiking and I’m about to innocently step on one!  So we naturally pulled into a little turn around that was right by Mr. Snake. We got out and from a distance antagonized the snake (we did no harm to an animal...never would we do that!). I even grabbed a few pictures of the said snake! (I was no where close to the snake...zoom is a good thing!!)

After a few minutes we walked the five feet back to the car and that is when I realized what we had done!  We were in a turn around that was clearly marked no stopping or standing.  And there were signs that were marked no cameras.  (Technically it wasn’t a camera...it was a cellphone. Hahaha).  I told jason that we had just broken the law...he also immediately knew what we had done.  We calmly left the spot and began our drive out of the area.  About a 1/4 mile down the road a ‘park police’ vehicle was waiting for us...as soon as I saw them I knew I was getting pulled over.  They pulled out behind me and followed me a bit (long enough to run my plates?) and then the lights came on!  Let me tell you, I used to live in Sharpsburg, Md literally with the front of my property bordering the National Park Service land that was Antietam Battlefield and the back of my property bordered the C&O canal....another National Park.  I have had plenty of dealings with Park police...and these guys were NOT ‘park police’.  The two guys that got out of the ‘park police’ vehicle and approached my car (one on either side of the car making us both roll down our windows) were wearing flak vests and armed to the hilt! That is not standard park police attire!!  

If you know any government history you will have heard of Camp David.  It is the presidential retreat in the mountains west of Washington DC.  It is located....you guessed it, within the confines of the Catoctin Mountain National Park.  I have ALWAYS known it was there. My parents always had a love of the Catoctin National Park.  (In fact my mother as a child went to a camp quite near Camp David!)  It isn’t a big deal because it is just part of life for anyone that lives in that area or visits that area a lot.  When the president is in residence, roads are blocked and more security is present, but it is always under guard. (I have a friend that lives close and talks about visiting her mothers grave which is quite near and how at times she could see agents in the woods watching her as she mourned...creepy but understandable...especially in today’s day and age!).   

So yes I was ‘interrogated’ by the police (military police...secret service...whatever organizationthat they were with...just pretty sure not park police.  Hahaha) as to what I was doing so close to Camp David.  Oh they didn’t say  Camp David...they used the un-official ‘Naval Support Facility’ name.  I was very clear and told them exactly what had happened.  That we had seen the snake crossing the road and we were focused on the snake and I just wasn’t thinking and I also told them the reason we were looking at a rattle snake.  (A safe lesson in nature for me!)  I admitted to knowing about Camp David and that I just wasn’t thinking.   (I used the name Camp David and he just chuckled...he knew I knew.) I even admitted to realizing my error when we got back into the car and knowing as soon as I saw him that he was going to be pulling me over.  And yes, I admitted to taking pictures...so my cell phone was passed over, to show my photographic skills of course. (Ha)

After checking my registration, insurance and liscense they came back and gave me a verbal warning.  They were actually quite friendly....intimidating as heck though. I drove away...and then we gave into the laughter. Seriously,  I chuckled the whole way home!   Guess I used up my warning!  Wonder what the penalty is if I do it again???

So there you have it....an active adventurous weekend!!!  While the bike riding was fun, it was a bit of a bust with my bum arm.  And while the hiking was fantastic, it had a bit of an awkward ending. I am pleased though with the level of activity!  My body feels good after using and pushing myself a bit!!!  Bring on more!!!!

Top O’ The World

I was going to start running when we moved… Really I was! But let me backtrack and talk about the move and how  my back was aching so bad, and Jason’s knee with kicking  something fierce. We had some choices to make, so we kind of just grabbed the necessary things. My brother and his family helped and they got everything of mine with the exception of maybe five or six boxes and bins. So I woke up on Saturday morning thinking this is the day I’m going to go run. Until I remembered that my running clothes and gear was in one of the boxes that was still at my mothers house. Oops!  I have that stuff in my possession now so there should be no excuses for this week.

Food wise I am doing OK actually, for the most part. Jason and I are making a conscious effort to beef up the amounts of vegetables and fruit we have in the house. And we are eating them and loving them. We are eating at home and doing pretty good with that.  Of course that first sentence of this paragraph included the words for the most part… So there is a negative.  For Christmas I gave Jason a VW bus cookie cutter and a VW bug cookie cutter.  It came with a ‘lifetime supply of cookies. Now that we are together it was time for me to start keeping my part of that lifetime supply!  I made cookies this weekend… They are delicious and I ate too many yesterday. 

They are not pretty...the cake decorating icing bag  I was using popped a seam and well...I stopped caring about ‘pretty’ after that happened.

My weight seems to be hovering in a 2-3 pound range.  . It was low on Saturday morning and high this morning.  And the same all last week..up, down, up, down.   No surprise… Considering I just talked about the cookies.

We finally got out on our  bikes! Yup, we went out this weekend!  First time this year. I was sore… Really sore. But we have to start somewhere it’ll only get better the more I do it.

Which brings me to what has been on my mind a lot lately. Fitness levels. How quickly they go away… Well it seems quick to me. So I’m going to take a little walk through history…because it shows how it happened.

Fall of 2014. I weighed 220 pounds, and I was  dropping.  (I actually think I saw 215 at one point, maybe lower). I was going to Zumba three nights a week and sometimes doing back to back classes. I was running 3 to 4 times a week, most of those runs were  between three and 6 miles. I felt fabulous. Physically and emotionally because I was beating this food addiction and curse.

In 2015… I divorced and moved in with my parents. Eating healthy was no longer an easy option, and as my mother bakes for two markets there was always delicious baked goods at my disposal. I gained 20 pounds. I continued my heavy load of Zumba and running. The extra weight slowed down my running pace but I was still really active and in pretty good shape. 

2016, and Zumba ended. I was sad on many levels… Zumba have been a social outlet, and emotional crutch through my divorce, and a huge portion of my fitness activity. Jason and I hiked a lot that year! Like a lot of miles! Our schedules also allowed us to go for long walks every evening, or at least most evenings. It was nothing that summer for us to walk five or 6 miles in the evening (and I usually ran 2-4 times a week in the morning).  Every evening. Yes hiking hurt a little bit sometimes… Like up some mad Mountain or vicious trail, but it was good. That fall Jason and I added breaking into our repertoire of activity. Our first ride was sore but not buffalo … We were still pretty active and that fitness level showed when we picked up biking. 

2017… And here is where it all started to go to pot. It took about a year for me to see physical signs that my fitness levels from Zumba we’re starting to fade. Little things flexibility, strength, balance, Etc. We were still active on the weekends and evenings. At least the first couple months of the year. And then we made some changes in our work, which changed our schedules. We stopped walking at night… Or if we did we were lucky to get in 1 mile. I couldn’t fit runs it to my daily routine I was already waking up at 5 AM and not getting home until 8 PM, and I was constantly exhausted (3 to 4 hours in a car a day is way. Too much). We still did active things on the weekend, and I did walk on my lunch breaks, but it just wasn’t enough.

So now it’s 2018 and here I am sitting in the worst physical shape I have been in in probably 10 years.   And I don’t like it!!!!   I don’t look forward to the aches and pains of rebuilding my fitness level...nor do I look forward to the dread of starting each day knowing how ‘bad’ it may feel.  But, I do look forward to that ‘Top O’ the World’ feeling I get from being active and conquering this food addiction. 

I’ve got this!!!!!!

Weekend update and a new month

This past weekend we headed to Johnstown, PA.  

 

I lived there many moons ago (like 35 years ago).   I wanted to experience the history and culture as an adult.   On the way there we visited the Flight 93 memorial (9-11 plane that went down in a field in PA.).  It was well done...a haunting memorial.

 

We explored by car and on foot the town of Johnstown, the burough of Westmont and the Grandview Cemetery.   We checked out a hiking trail and rode the Incline Plane.

 

We visited the Johnstown Flood Museum and then followed that up with a visit to the Flood Memorial which is actually at the site of the same that broke causing so much damage and so many fatalities. 

 

In this picture you can faintly see the overlook that is on the abutment across the 'valley'. This photo was taken from the other abutment....and shows the absolute breadth of the damn that broke.

We also spent some time looking for mushrooms...no luck though!!

 

It was a great weekend (aren't they all nowadays???)

So it's a new month and that means it's time to review last month's goals and set new ones for this month!!!

Last month I had four goals. 

1. To track all of my food and stay between 1200-1800 calories.   This did not happen...at all.  There was actually days where I didn't track anything and more days than I can count that I was over 2000 calories for the day!  I kick myself for messing this one up.   This should be a shoo in goal to achieve!!!!!  Grrrrr  I did discover that the 1800 is too high for me. ( When I'm at 1800 I don't lose...when I lowered it to 1500 as my high I was starting to see some success.  And then I went off the rails like an idiot!!  So I totally messed this one up but I learned a lesson and the more knowledge the better the chance of success in the future! 

2.  I set a goal to run 20 miles in the month of April.   I totally missed this one too.  I only ran 12.41 miles. I wasn't even 'close'.   I don't know what happened...a few days of rain...a few schedule changes that prohibited....and some sheer laziness with shorter runs but me in he butt.   There is no real excuse though.   12.41  miles is more than most people in this world run each month and furthermore that's good that I did at least something for my body!!

3. Lose weight and be in the next 'decade' lower by the end of the month.   Well this didn't happen at all!!!  I didn't lose a single solitary pound.   I wallowed in my current weight.   A pound down a pound up. A see saw of misery!!!!  This one disgusts me.  At this rate I will never reach my goals!!!

A maintain is actually a victory!!!  It may not be what I wanted but it wasn't a gain!!!

4.   Complete my April miles (166.5) and add an extra 25 miles to work on the mileage deficit for my year goals (2017 miles in 2017).  191.5 miles needed to reach my goal.   I am very proud to say that I crushed this goal!!  I completed themiles I  needed for April and started working on those extra miles.   I finished the month with 232.41 miles for the month!  That is 65.91 extra to cut down that deficit.....the years deficit is now only 27.79 miles.   Yeah, I smashed the goal!!!!!  (Thank you 89.58 miles of biking...25 miles of walking at the beach and many long walks with Jason!!)

See how I had to make myself turn the negatives into a positive.   Negatives are bad because they make us want to give up...they rob us of our self confidence.  They are just bad!!!

So for May my goals....

1.   Lose weight!   I would optimally like to be down in the next decade...but I will take any loss at this point!!!

2.  Track....every day....and at the new lower range of 1300-1500...with only one cheat day a week!

3.  20 miles....I will get this!!!!  This is my month!!!

4.   2017 mileage.   I want to get my base miles and wipe that deficit clean!!!!  

5.  Three times a week add a mini strength and stretching routine into my day.   The what isn't important....but right now I am do have a plan in place in my mind!).   I've noticed lately that my legs are tired more easily and my muscles are super tight.   I have to fix that!!!!  

So I've already gotten a good start on my May goals.  I woke up and ran....not a lot of miles but a little bit over 2 miles completed.  I mowed and did yard work....so my total steps (including rummage run) already have me at my daily goal of 5.5 miles. (And we plan on riding our bikes tonight...chalk up more miles!!!).  I have tracked my food and I'm determined to work this!!!

Mud mask

Well then.....for some reason this post never went live....and I just found it....  this is from Friday!!!

My weight continues to fluctuate up and down.  I'm not stressing about it.   It is what it is.   I am happy that I'm weighing daily so that I can see the fluctuations and realize that while my weigh in day was high, I am seeing lower days.  So good things are happening!!!!

On Wednesday Jason and I were out walking.  We are still on the hunt for morel mushrooms.    We haven't found any yet.  We have found other interesting things though...

 

It is still early in the mushroom season so we are still hopeful!!!

On Thursday the skies cleared so we hopped onto our bikes and took a ride on the canal.  It was a bit warm and muggy but we enjoyed ourselves.   And then on the reverse trip back to the car the skies opened....and we hit a wee patch of rain.

Somehow even though we were riding at the same speed....on the same path....in the same rain; I got covered in mud!!!!  My braid was caked with mud!

 

 Jason had a bit of mud but no where near as bad as I!!!

 

Different bikes and different size and type tires make the difference I guess!

Hahaha. Years ago my brother and I rode bikes together and it rained.  He told me that if you ride in the rain you are bad ass.....well I rode in the rain AND mud!!!  I must be extra bad ass!!!!

As for my 2017 in 2017 and in particular the April goal of at least 25 miles above and beyond what I needed for April.  I am happy to say I have less than 10 miles to go to reach that goal an

Ups and downs.....10 year anniversary

10 years.  Wow. How has that happened?   Has it really been 10 years since I started this blog?????   10 years ago today I turned to the blogging world.  Just shy of 1800 blog posts later and I am still here!!!!   Wow,life has changed something fierce since I started this blog.

So here is a ten year in review and some lessons learned along the way blog.   I struggled with taking pictures of myself along the way.....a regret of mine.  (pictures are SO important on this journey)

I started this blog as a heavily overweight woman.  Here is a picture or two from that time....or rather, these pictures were taken December 2005....the closest pictures of myself I could find to the 10 year anniversary of this blog.   I was probably right around 260 pounds at this time....and had already lost roughly 50 pounds.

Not easy to see........

But I had a mission.  I was going to lose the weight.  I sadly, was losing the weight for the wrong reasons.....NEVER lose weight to try to make someone love you the way you want to be loved.  They need to love you for you and not the number on the scale or the size of your body.  It took me quite a few years to figure that lesson out. 

Right or wrong, I started working  diligently on this weight thing!!!! I walked.  I rode my bike. I became a collector of exercise videos and I actually used them....EVERY DAY!     I watched everything I ate.....and guess what?   It worked!   I can see my face had started thinning out in this picture.

By mid 2007 my weight was lower than ever and I was feeling fantastic!!!!  I wasn't done  I kept moving!  I kept working it!  And the weight just kept dropping!!!

By 2008 I had reached my goal weight (as prescribed by my doctor).   Oh my word.  I can't even describe how fabulous I felt.   I was on top of the world.  I had never felt that well physically as an adult.   My arthritis in my knees all but disappeared.  I felt confident.  I just can't describe how life was...I just felt GREAT! (Size 10 shorts in the picture below..my lowest size)

I even managed to make it to be a lifetime member at Weight watchers!!!!!!  GO me!!!!!!!

I still had some weight to lose.  I was still about 15 pounds over where the BMI charts told me that I needed to be in order to be healthy.  I pushed..and pushed.   Family and friends started to worry about me and told me that my face looked gaunt and started asking if I was sick.  I knew I wasn't.  I never saw myself as a thin person.  So I pushed forward.  But I can NOW see how my face was SOOOOO thin!  

It was shortly after this picture that I realized that losing the weight in an effort to make my husband love me the way I needed to be loved was NOT working.  My marriage was still on the rocks, and nothing I was doing was working  (I had tried everything...not just a massive weight loss!).  I stopped caring about my weight....after all the purpose for losing weight had crumbled and proved to be ineffective. Ok, I still wanted to be thin, but I didn't want to bother with watching everything.  I didn't want to worry about the work it would take to complete my mission.  I started to slip.  

In 2009 I had done something I said I would NEVER do.....allow my weight to creep back above 200 pounds.    

By the way...I don't like the weird mouth thing going on...but my hair was AWESOME in this picture!!!    In 2009 I met a blog buddy for the first  and we rode Girls with Gears!!! What a fabulous experience and what a fabulous friend!!  I was about 210 pounds.  

Donna and I had so much fun doing the Girls with Gears Bike ride that we decided to do Pedal to Preserve the same year.  You can see that I gained weight between these two rides...two short months.  My hair was still awesome though!!!

I vowed over and over to stop the weight gain.  But I'm ashamed to say that it kept creeping up and up.

I took steps to try to eliminate the weight.  I just struggled.  I rode in Pedal to Preserve the following year, 2010  (I have no pictures of me doing it)   I had gained even more.     

I never gained everything back as evidenced in this 2011 or 2012 picture. But I had done some serious weight gain!

My salvation during this time was that I never stopped exercising.  I still rode my bike.  I had started going to zumba religiously.  I was still moving  and being active.  I was just gaining.  Weight is lost in the kitchen....NOT the gym and I was/am living proof!

In 2013  I decided to start losing weight for ME.  I didn't care what anyone else thought.  This was a mission for ME.   My weight started to drop again.  I was well on my way.   Things were looking GRAND for me and my weight loss.  I was featured in a newspaper article talking about my weight loss.  I had this in the bag I was on my way back to my goal weight!!!!!

Yup.....a picture from the article.  Not the grandest picture...but it was out there for the world to see.

Remember when I said I 'had this'?   I thought I did.  But my already crumbling marriage took a blow that no marriage should EVER have to endure.....and I lost my focus again.

I'd like to say that I got that focus back.  But I didn't. Once again I kept moving.  I was running.  I was going to zumba.  I was riding my bikes.  I was walking.  But the weight was not coming off.

I ran in 5K's and even a few 10K's and the weight just wasn't dropping......

 In mid 2014 I started to lose weight again.......

Then my life changed drastically.  My marriage ended....and I finally admitted to the world what I had known for years!      Life was upside down and I still couldn't get a grip on it...but I kept moving!!!!  I kept pushing....but gained again.

2015 was rough for my weight.  I regained what I lost in 2014.....maybe I needed the year to come to terms with where I was in life.  My life had turned upside down in so many ways.  I had to come to terms with being single.  I had to come to an understanding with the dating world (wow.....just wow). I had to figure out where I stood in this world.  And my weight suffered.

It took quite a bit of time....but in October of 2015  it  clicked and I am back on track.

I've been on some vacations and done some day trips since I got back on track.  And I have still managed to lose weight!  I have walked a fair amount site seeing (my tracker showed me on a good many of my vacation days walking well over 5 miles each day...with some being as high as 10 miles) and have been doing some more walking and hiking with a friend outdoors.  (and some spraining of the ankle sorry "J".... I know that freaked you out!!!!!!!)

Sprained ankle.....crazy life changes....I'm not out for the count.  (Ankle bothered me last night so running still on hold!!). I'm working it and slowly losing again.  This is a lifelong journey....it's not an easy one.  It's not one with a definitive end...because when the weight is gone it shifts to maintaining the loss......for the rest of my life.

Honestly, this post was difficult to write.  Emotional.  It was awesome to see the confidence on my face as a thin woman.  It was torture to watch the weight creep back on and to relive that failure.  It was emotional to relieve the emotions of the last 10 years.  I wasn't happy for most of the 10 years....just masking the pain and sadness with a false smile.   But I can see when I was taking steps for ME that the smile actually radiated from my eyes and my soul.   Hmmm.....another lesson learned!!!!!!

All of these lessons over the last 10 years have shaped me into the woman I am today and have directed me to be the woman that I want to be.

It's time to look to the future.  The future is out there.....and I can write the book any way I want!

I want to write it as a thin woman.

I want to write it as a happy woman.

I want to write it as an ACTIVE woman.

I will write is as a content woman!!

This is MY story, I am in control!

Running on Fat

I just stumbled across this article.  It's on the website closerline.co.uk (although I read it elsewhere, I just like to give proper credit).

  Yes, it made me cry!!!!!!!!

A Facebook user penned a message to 'The Fatty running on the westview track'.  You might be surprised to read what they have to say.

The message begins in a typically condescending manner.  It accuses the overweight runner of 'footslogging in the wrong direction', calls then out for wanting to 'stop twice a lap' and points out the sweat that drenches their body.

But then all of a sudden, the tone changes and we find ourselves confronted with a seriously inspirational message for all the would be runners out there.

"You whose feet barely lift off of the ground as you trudge around the track.  You, who keeps to the outside lane, footslogging in the wrong direction.  You, who stops for water breaks every lap and who would probably stop twice a lap if there were  bleachers on both sides. You whose gaze drops to your feet every time we pass.  You whose sweat drenches your body after you leave, completing only a single 20 minute mile.

There is something you should know.  You fucking rock!!

Every shallow step you take, you carry the weight of more than two of me, clinging to your bones, begging to be shaken off.  Each lap you run you are paying off the debt of another midnight snack, another dessert, another beer.  It's 20 degrees outside, but you haven't let that stop your regime.  This isn't your first day out here, and it certainly won't be your last.  You started a journey that lasts a lifetime, and you've started it at least twelve days before your New Year's resolution kicks in.

You run without music, and I can only imagine the mantras running through your mind as you heave your ever shrinking mass around the next lap.  Let's go feet!  Shut up legs!  Fuck off fat!!   If only you'd look up from your feet the next time we pass, you'd see my gaze had no condescension in it.

I have nothing but respect for you.  You've got this.

Hello!!!   I cried again as I typed that in!   It's so true on so many levels...from the rock bottom run to the mantras and yes, to the acceptance by ther runners and athletes...you see...they have been a beginner and they know how it feels.  They know how after just a few pounds weight gain they struggle with their exercise/hobby...so they can totally appreciate the 'fatty runner'

It happened to me when I purchased my trek.  I took it back for a tune up a few months later and the guy that sold me te bike was giddy with excitement and he flat out told me why. Paraphrasing what he said..."it's obvious that you got out an used this bike.  I can see changes in your body!  I know it wasn't easy but you are doing it!!"  And seriously?  When I originally bought the bike I was ashamed and embarrassed to be the 'fatty buying a bike'.  Ohhh how wrong we are!!!

So here I am...running and biking..fatty...shrinking...but fabulous!!

Disjointed Catch up

Really the things I have to say don't really flow into one easy blog post so I'm going to write random paragraphs.  Some may build upon each other, other will be totally random!

******I went to the gym yesterday morning.  I ran for 2 miles on the treadmill (25 minutes or thereabouts) then I moved to the exercise bike and biked for 25 minutes (10 plus miles) and then I worked on my upper body.  While I was doing the cardio I was pushing it and working it.  My heart rate was high in my zone and I felt GREAT!   Even when my heart rate is really high in my zone (both based on the generic age zone and the zone based upon my resting heart rate) I can still talk and converse like normal....which is the unofficial litmus test.  So I'm not worried about maxing myself out.  When I get to that point, I back off  :-)    I'm not in this to hurt myself or damage any components of my body!

******We don't have a lot of extra money, but I've been slowly saving my 'allowance' for ages.  I've been slowly watching my stash of money grow.  I also occasionally totally deplete that stash and have to start again.  The saving has been for a road bike.  I have had a Trek Nav and I have LOVED it.  It was just what I needed when I bought it.  It is still an awesome bike to ride on the canal.  It has been a reliable and wonderful bike.  But, I want to branch out and ride on the roads and while I can on my Trek, it just isn't as feasible.  I've in essence outgrown the Trek. (that said I'm NOT getting rid of my Trek!) So I saved.  Recently I started to watch for used bikes on Craigslist and other used outlets.   I didn't want to go bottom of the barrel with an entry level bike (I knew that I would quickly outgrow the bike..and the limitations of the bike).  But good road bikes are expensive!   I have contacted bike ad after bike ad.  I've either gotten there too late and the bike is gone already or the bike is built for a giant (ok ok ok, 60cm frames are not for giants...they are just too big for me!).  FINALLY on Monday I saw  bike on Craigslist that would work for me size wise!  It is a Lightspeed Vela.   Lightspeed is a high end bike manufacturer that for a while made some entry level bikes (retailing for about $1500-2000). It didn't last long becuase they were just not making a profit on the bike.  Anyway, I contacted her within an hour of her placing the ad.  It looked good.  I had my brother researching it.  I went and looked at the bike last night and it looked good  and I purchased it.  So I now have a road bike.  I have to either swap out the pedals or buy a pair of clip shoes so I can ride it.  I also have to figure out how the shifting mechanism works.  I rode the bike around the neighborhood and got it to shift once or twice but admittedly, I'm sure it is user error.  (My brother laughed when I told him over the phone my shifting issues and also agreed that it was most likely user error).  The bike took me to the limit of what I had saved.  I have 75 bucks (and that is only leaving 3 dollars in my savings account) left after buying the bike...and that will probably be sucked into the few things I need to actually ride the bike.   (I either need to swap to flat top pedals or buy clipped shoes and learn to actually use them)   I always hate hate hate depleting my savings. I hate parting with my moldy money, but oh well.....   I only hope that this purchase turns out to be money well spent!  Meaning that I love the bike and that I USE the bike a LOT!  (My brother thinks that since this is my first road bike and I have nothing to compare it with, that I will automatically love it.....he said it's like how we all remember our first car with love and fond memories!)

*****   Photoshoots of people..while not my favorite thing to do (I prefer architecture, nature, scenery, inanimate objects) helps build the savings account...so hopefully soon I can pick up  few small shoots!  I do have a wedding that I'm supposed to shoot in about a month...so whew I can start rebuilding the funds that I just depleted to buy my bike!  That and my 'allowance'. Allowance at age 40?  Yes, Todd and I each payday get a set amount of money to put into our pockets.  This is OUR money.  If we want to skip packing a lunch for work, we can use our allowance to eat out.  Or we can pack our lunch and save our money and use it for hobbies (Todd just purchased a bunch of stuff for his beermaking hobby AND a bunch of stuff for his painting hobby).   It's our money to do with what we want.  It keeps our random spending for our own purposes (hobbies and fun) in check.  NO, when we do something together like dinner out last night it comes from the 'general' fund.

******  The bike I purchased last night was in Germantown...which is about an hour away from me.  So after work Todd and I took a little trip.  Of course we planned to go to dinner after looking at the bike. (oh heck, that was a trip for ME and my bike...should I have purchased dinner out of my allowance?  ha ha ha  No, it came from the general fund....we hadn't eaten out in about 2 weeks so we were good!)  We ended up at Red Robin.  I had eaten accordingly all day.  How does one eat accordingly all day?  Well, I filled up my lunchbox with low calories/low fat items.  I ate just as much as any other day and actually didn't even eat everything in my lunchbox because it was a LOT of food, I just planned my food wisely to give myself the maximum calories to spend at dinner.  I walked into the restaurant with about 700 of my daily calories left from my base calories.  I started looking.  My normal sandwich was 900 calories (or thereabouts.  YIKES!  I don't know if they just changed their menus to add the calories of if I had just never noticed...we hadn't been at Red Robin since before I started watching my weight again.    I looked for  lessor sandwich and thought about settling for something else to save a few calories.  I finally decided to get the sandwich that I wanted but to swap out the fries (and they do have pretty decent fries) for the fruit salad.  Nice trade and only put me at about 1000 calories for the meal (and that is only 300 calories over!!!)  Todd (Mr. Sabotage   ha ha ha) really wanted the pretzel bites.  So I agreed.   I counted my calories and entered them in.  I'm about 500 calories over for the day (putting me at 1800 calories for the day give or take).    I panicked for a moment or two there after we ordered.  But then I calmed myself down and reminded myself of two things.  The first thing?   I exercised HARD in the morning so even though I was eating more, I had at least burnt those calories already in the morning..plus some.  And no, I don't subscribe to that attitude with my exercise.  But on occasion it actually works!   The second thing?   Our bodies get in ruts with what we are eating.  Jillian Michael's first book (I think it's the first one) was a great read and she actually encouraged the readers to change up their calorie counts.  She recommends to have four or five consecutive low days and then pop it up and have a high caloric day thrown in there.  She advocated that it would keep your metabolism from getting into a 'rut.'    I know that when I was losing my weight the first time I would watch carefully EVERY MEAL of the week except one.  On weigh in nights at weight watchers, I would leave my weigh in and I would have a TOTAL splurge meal.  Comfort foods....pizza.....whatever I wanted.   I consistently lost weight too!  (and eventually you also find that your splurges are not the 3000 calorie splurges that you once had....like me...I am only 500 over for the whole stinkin' day...on a splurge day!)   It worked for me.  So I had to remind myself of that last night.    So I stepped on the scale this morning....the verdict??????????   I stayed EXACTLY the same!   224.6!   So I know to buckle down today.  NO splurges....clean eating...and all will be well. Oh and that maintain (and Sundays loss of 1 pound) comes along with the monthly ick!

***** I'm solidly into a woman's size 16.  I found the first time I lost weight that there is a huge break between woman's size 16 and regular size 16.  So 16 is the "feels like forever" size.  It's almost as if there is an extra size in there.  16a and 16b.  Regardless...I'm into 16 women's.....my size 18's are getting loose....the 20's are off my shelves and in a storage tote/bin.  Moving right along!

*****  It's Wednesday.  The work week will soon be officially half over!  Can't wait for the weekend!  Todd and I can hopefully get on our bikes or do something active on Friday afternoon when I get off at 2.  (he mentioned a game of tennis, I mentioned a bike ride on the canal).  I also will be having my brother look at my new baby...my road bike and I'll be getting geared up for that.  Lets see, I'll get a run or two in there.....and a walk with Sherry.  But in the meantime...it's Wednesday...so work all day....zumba tonight.   Maybe I can even squeeze in a yoga workout or maybe a step aerobics workout this morning before work (it makes me feel so much better to workout in the morning....revs me up and makes me feel alive for my day!   I better skedaddle!