Weigh in thoughts

My weight is down a bit more today. After reading other peoples responses and thoughts on the scales and weighing every day. I do agree that one can become obsessed with the scales. I think for me, I become even more crazy when I do not weigh myself every day. I stress more when I don't know! I understand that there are daily fluctuations and such, and I'm actually OK with that. (I get more frustrated because I'm the same weight that I was a year ago.......although as I've stated in previous posts, that is actually a very very good thing).

In talking to a friend today (another friend that is losing weight...not the one that I have the bet/wager with) we were talking about our daily weigh ins and the fluctuations. We are going to set goals for ourselves each week......send them to each other and on the 'goal day' we are going actually evaluate our weekly weights as a whole group instead of 7 individual days. This will also give her accountability as she no longer attends WW meetings. :-)

In other news, it's Wednesday...and here I sit at work. Someone is on vacation so my day off got cancelled. Oh well. Todd had some meetings in town this morning (I'm missing my first Wednesday of the month lunch out with mom). I get off at 3PM. The plan is to get out in the yard and work some more on taking down some trees and clearing some land. If Todd is not feeling up to it (he's got some kind of sinus issue...or ear issue....and no, he's refusing to go to the doctor) I'm going to go out and plot out our garden for next year. This year we left our garden at our old place.....we hope to have it at our new place next year. If I can, I'll start digging and getting the ground ready very soon! That way come spring I'll just have to pull back the straw, it will already have been composted (I'll do that this fall), and I'll just have to do some light tilling and she'll be ready to plant. So that is my exercise for the day!

Catch up!

Oh wow! I could have sworn I wrote something in here yesterday! Man, just goes to show you what a little time off of work does to a girl!

Yes, I had off from work yesterday as it was labor day. I actually started my day by heading up to my parents house and mowing their three properties. I beat it home and spent some time doing some things around the house (vacuuming, cleaning, mopping, two loads of laundry on the line, etc etc etc). And then I set up a table next to my desk so that I can work on some scrapbook pages. I'm so utterly far behind and I know me...if I don't have a place set up to work regularly, I'll just keep piling up and every once in a while pull everything out and rush through some pages...and I don't like the results! So I set up a scrapbook area next to my desk. It makes my 'office space' a bit cramped...but I"m actually really happy with it! I'm actually tickled because I know that I am happiest...(I have some type of inner peace or something ) when I"m allowing my creative self to flow. :-)

I scrapbooked most of the afternoon and made dinner (one of those dinners that you have to start 3 hours before it's time to eat...but ohhh so yummy). After dinner Todd and I went back into the yard to work some more....I think this past weekend we took down a total of 6 trees!

My weight. Yesterday morning, after all of that manual labor, I was exactly the same weight! This morning I was 183.2 pounds. Who knows what tomorrow will bring. Not overly worried about it. (actually I expect up a bit).

Well, I have a friend that is hoping to lose 10 pounds by early October. That is gonna be a tall order...but with persistence she can do it. BUT the problem..she like me is kinda stuck in a rut. We are both sitting at roughly the same weight....we try and it doesn't move so we get discouraged and eat. SO after she told me about her self goal, I started thinking. Hmmmm could we make it a competition???? SO I emailed her.......we've agreed......whoever loses the most weight by October 6th is the winner....the loser will fork over $20. Not a lot...but hopefully some friendly competition will spark us to try our hardest!

Lets see........anything else????? Nope!

Sunny Sunday

Surprisingly my weight stayed the same....well almost (2/10ths of a pound up) from yesterdays weight. I KNOW that it was salt. I had lots of salty foods yesterday. But that's not why I'm shocked. You see, I kinda had a problem with the fruit dip that I made yesterday when I got home from the grocery store. I uhhhhh....ate the whole batch in one sitting. Yep....the whole darn batch.

Today, I've gone over my points. I've eaten mostly fruits and veggies though. :-) Not to mention that I worked outside, hard manual labor for 6 hours today. So I'm sure I"ll be OK today. The worst that today may bring me is some water weight. Although I did drink and drink and drink all throughout the day. :-)

Not much new to report. I FINALLY for the first time since March was able to say that I was caught up with all the chipping and shredding (using the wood chipper, making mulch). But, as soon as I turned it off, Todd asked me to help him....and we took down about 3 more trees....I organized the limbs and cut wood into two piles. Firewood pile and a pile to be chipped. (We don't have a fireplace so it's not like we need tons of firewood). I won't be able to start chipping that pile for at least 2-4 weeks. IT chips better if it's dry. I got a bit of sunburn on my shoulders today as I as wearing a tank top. Lets see...I got pretty much caught up on laundry. Tomorrow I"ll do towels and sheets...but for the most part I'm caught up. :-)

Tonight I'm just hanging out, Todd and I just finished watching a movie that we had started last night (that I fell asleep on). I"m just playing on photo shop, messin' with some pictures. Just playin'!

Sunless Saturday

The sun is not shining this morning. It's a pretty dreary day. Oh well. I wasn't planning on many (any) outside activities anway. It's a normal Saturday. Work until noon, go home and eat lunch and then head to town for the normal errends. Today I just have to go to Target and the grocery store. WOO HOOO. :-)

My weight dropped again this morning.....down to 183.6. That's 1.4 pounds down from yesterday and 3.8 from two days ago. Who knows what's happening. But hey, it's going down! Tha's all that matters!

thoughts on my current status

Is it even physically possibe for someone to lose 2.2 pounds in one day? That's what I did. Who knows....who cares. I'm just going to continue 'working the program' an whatever happens happens. I worked so hard to make lifetime (just got it a few weeks ago..thanks to a doctors note) and now I'm stressed about keeping it. It's not worth it. If this is my bodies sweet spot, the weight that is 'perfect' or my body, then it's ok. I'll just bow out of going to the meetings. It truely isn't worth being stressed over, constantly wondering if I'm going to be 'under that mark' and worried about it. It's ok. I know the program. I can do continue this on my own. That said, am I giving up? NO, I'm still going to try to get my weight to shift downward. Optimally, I would LOVE to continue going to the meetings. And I can look at my body and see that there is more work to be done. But if this is where God wants me...then I'll stay here....and even if I don't atttend the meetings (due to my 'sweet spot' weight being right on the line of where I can be to maintain my lifetime status) then I'll be forever grateful for weight watchers for helping guide me in the correct direction and giving me the tools to continue this for the rest of my life.

I've been at this weight for just about a year now. It's really frustrating. For most of that time, I've exercised religiously, 6 days a week. (there have weeks here and there that have seen me fall off the exercise band-wagon, but never for long...and few and far between). I've made healthy choices with my food. (yeah, this is a lifestyle, I've splurged here and there also). But lets look at this in a healthy light. I've kept a whole lot of weight off for a YEAR. I didn't balloon back up 30 pounds and then lose it to get back to where I am now. I've kept each and every pound off. Well, within my preset 5 pound allotment. (I decided a while ago that I would be ok with my weight flucuating up 5 pounds from my lowest). I've only gone over that 5 pound flex allotment 2 or three times. Once was last year at christmas...it was a week of christmas parties coupled with a a surprise birthday party for me...oh and a mini vacation the same week. And then this week I'm over my 5 pound allotment. How far over......maybe 2 pounds. Nothing major. Just enough to freak me out! If I look at this realistically, I've managed something that many people can not do. I've not only lost 130 pounds...I've kept it off for a year! (135 if you take the low end of my five pound radius). The longer I can keep it off, the better my odds for doing it for a lifetime. How can I not be totally excited about this!

Not much new in normal 'life' stuff. Things are still backwards crazy for me. Life will just not let up. But all I can do is keep going full steam ahead and hope that someday (soon preferably) that things right themselves!

Kick in the butt

I woke up this morning to hear the rain pitter patter on the roof. The rain has finally arrived. They say that it's supposed to rain straight for the next 3 or 4 days. I actually don't mind the rain, there is something about a rainy day that is good.

I went out to the living room and started messing around on my computer. I just switched my adobe photo shop program (from one adobe photo shop to another) so that I can utilize the organize/catalogue feature. I'm pretty excited about this as organizing my pics has been something that I've wanted to do for quite some time. But I digress. I sat out there trying to talk myself into getting up and getting on the exercise bike. It just wasn't happening. Todd came out and he mentioned going to the gym. I think he picked up on my lack of motivation, it would have been hard to miss. When he suggested moving the canning shelf into the house (he painted it out on the screened in porch yesterday) I jumped at that! ANYTHING to avoid the gym. Well, whatdya know...the paint was still wet. SHUCKS. SOOOO off we went to the gym. I exercised for 60 minutes at a pretty high intensity. Yeah yeah yeah....felt good.

My weight...up 2/10ths of a pound. Now there is absolutely NO reason on earth why I would be up today! This is just absolutely crazy! Meanwhile, I sit here just feeling bloated and miserable. Yeah, I feel bloated and icky. There is no easy reason why I would be retaining water. I've been drinking my water. It's not that time of the month, I haven't eaten super high sodium foods. It just makes absolutely no sense. *Edit* I just had a new thought in the past I've eaten and I feel no effects of being 'bigger'.......but oh my word, I feel so 'fat' and bloated. Is my body finally willing to tell me when I've gained a little??? Is my body finally willing to say "stop"?????

Other than that, not much new happening here. Oh yeah, I joined in on a project....to take one picture a day of anything I want (something that defines my life, my day, my emotions...) for a year. Should be an interesting montage when it's done.

***I went ahead and went to the meeting. I liked the leader. She was upbeat and very willing to talk about her vices. It was obvious that she understands the struggles that occur in a long haul of weight loss. That is important to me. It was a fairly large group of attendees also. I guess I would estimate that there was about 20 people (remember, my meeting was just cancelled because it died away to pretty much no one). They were all talking amongst themselves pretty well. Seemed a bit cliquish but I"m sure that is just because I was on the outside looking in. I think I would be OK at that meeting. :-)

***I didn't get any exercise in today. Well, I did work in the kitchen for hours on end. I canned a bushel of pears and a half bushel of peaches. Does that count?

***My weight. I am really stumped. My weight has gone up again. There is absolutely no logic behind my weight! I''m way way way up! Devastatingly up! As in 187 pounds. I"m up like 5 pounds in the last few days! WHAT in the world??????????

***Life continues to scream obscenities at me. Just getting tired of it all......but I see no end in sight to the issues.

Should I????

My weight is up. What more can I say?

I'm just having a really rough couple days. Something came up, a personal issue that will remain un-talked about in this blog/journal. But this issue just hit me super hard. I feel as if the rug has been yanked out from under me. I just want to curl up in a ball and let the world pass me by for a bit while I recover. Unfortunately, that isn't the way that life works. I forced myself to be super productive this morning. I did two huge loads of laundry and have them out of the line, I prepared banana slices for dehydrating (they are dehydrating as we speak), I made banana muffins (no fear, I put pecans in them....I don't like nuts so no temptation there). I made a full breakfast for my honey. We went for a walk. I cleaned and vacuumed the house. I also made it to work on time at noon. And here I sit. Work is VERY slow today....I'm trying to stay busy so that I do not dwell on this issue. That's easier said than done.

Meanwhile, I'm really debating....do I try another weight watcher meeting tonight? Is it even worth my time with the way that I'm feeling? After the fiasco of a meeting that I went to last week I'm actually sorta dreading going to another meeting. (nope, not going back to the one from last week). I know that I sooo need to go to a meeting. I need to find a meeting that I can call my own and feel a part of. I need to get myself back under control. But to go when I just feel like crying??????

sympathy for those struggling with addictions

Wow, I must have been a heck of a lot more tired last night than I thought. I was at my computer and I had actually composed (in my head) what I wanted to write about on here. And this morning it hit me when I sat down here at my computer at work......"I can't remember actually writing/typing my entry." I literally had to go look at my blog to see if I had written and entry yesterday. NOPE! Dang, I'm losing my mind! Well, upon further thought....it's already gone!

My weight...still holding steady. I am however at the top of my 5 pound range that I seem to stay within. So I have to be really careful! I am actually somewhat amazed that I'm holding steady. My eating of late has not been all that great. Ohhh it hasn't been terrible, but I've not been eating as healthy and as on point as I could be eating. I've been exercising, and I use that as my 'excuse' as to why I'm eating more. I say things like, "well, I'm eating this extra such and such, but I exercised today so it is a wash when it comes down to it." Well, my eyes were just opened by a somewhat innocent remark from a friend. If I want to lose the weight, I need to stop doing that. Exercise is NOT an excuse to eat more. Not while I'm trying to continue to lose weight. Yeah, I know that some days when I have a killer workout, that I may actually end up eating a bit more, my body will need it. BUT not on a consistent basis. For a while I would eat something and automatically calculate exactly how much exercise I would have to do in order to work off what I was eating. I did this especially with some of those 'special foods' or anytime I went above and beyond the planned intake of food. I need to get back to that. Because let me tell you, when I would realize that I'd have to ride my bike for such and such time, or walk for umpteen hours, or whatever.....the food just didn't seem worth it anymore!

Yesterday, I was very active. We got up and did the whole gym thing. However when that was over we went to Williamsport. This past weekend was the annual Canal Days there. Now Williamsport isn't a huge thriving metropolis or anything...but we parked in the middle of Williamsport and walked down to the basin (on the canal). We walked around down there a bit before getting ready to head up to the park at the other end of the town. We actually were going to pay the $1 a piece and ride on the trolley up to the park (they had a trolley running back and forth all day). We waited for the trolley, but when it came, it was full of people and there was no room. SOOOO we decided to use shoe leather express. We talked about it...and how we should have opted to walk in the first place. So we got to the park and did the whole circuit around the park. We stopped to talk to some people that we knew but we were on our feet the whole time. :-) Not to mention some shopping.....and the grocery store(and putting it all away, cleaning and preparing the fruits and veggies....and dishing out the ice cream into individual containers and all the prep work I did on the food when I got it home!)

While we were out in our travels yesterday, I saw a sale on bathing suits. Now I have a bathing suit.....but uhhhh it's a size 24. Teee hee hee. I used that one last year. I don't have a place to swim regularly...so this is pretty much really only at a hotel when Todd and I are travelling or something, and it's more a relaxing swim and sit in the hot tub, so I've just held onto the suit with one hand and gone with the flow. BUT, this sale.......they didn't have many options for me....but $8 bucks for a suit that normally cost $40 or $50 (these are suits that I've looked at all summer because $40-50 is still a good deal in it's own right). I couldn't pass it up. The problem you may be asking???? Well, they didn't have my size...yeah yeah yeah, like I even know what size I would wear. OK seriously, I'm wearing most size 12 stuff. They only had the suit in size 8. I bought it. I told Todd..."if I never wear it, then someone at goodwill will have a brand new suit...and we will have just made someone very happy" Well, I brought it home and just for a laugh I tried it on. I know that bathing suits have a little leeway for sizes. Yeah, the suit is tight...but if I had to wear it tomorrow..I could. Crazy crazy crazy....does this mean that I may actually get down to a size 8??????? Even if it is just a bathing suit???????

We have a family member that has a drug and alcohol problem (on my husbands side of the family). He's been totally sober for the last few years....living in a 'safe' setting. He moved away from that setting on TUESDAY into a place of his own. But just on Saturday night he went off on a binge...called us all drunk (and yesterday also). In the past I had no sympathy for him when I heard about it. But you know what.....having come to grips with my own addiction and how much of a pull it has on me.....I actually really feel bad for him. Yes, he is in control of his own destiny and I do not condone it at all...but how many times to I fail with my own addiction to food? Over and over and over. Yeah, I have to confront my addiction numerous times each day and an alcoholic can take steps to avoid the temptation totally....but when I fail, it's not life threatening (generally speaking) ..it means I gain a few pounds. I just actually could really empathize with his situation, even while we were telling him on the phone that if he doesn't get himself straightened out, our support that we give him will end immediately. But it was just really interesting to view it from the perspective of having now freely admitting that I have an addiction also.

Woke up early this morning and rode the bike for 45 minutes. My calves are sore now. I guess it's a combination of yesterday and today's exercise. Who knows!

I'm determined to stay 100% on this plan today!!!! No ifs ands or buts!

Green beans in my future

Well, yesterday while healthy food options for the most part, I did manage to eat too much at that darn potluck. I did have a sliver of cake and about 20 regular chips and then about 3 or for teaspoons full of chicken salad. The fruit dip that I partook was fat free (made by yours truly) so that wasn't bad. I did have a bit of veggie dip...which I'm sure was NOT fat free or even low fat though. :-( I just felt terribly bloated after this. On mostly fruits and veggies. Crazy!

I woke up this morning at around 3 or 4. I really struggled with getting back to sleep. I don't know why. Finally at 5:30 or so I gave up and got ready for work (nope, didn't have to be here until 8). The question of the hour....why in the heck didn't I exericise this morning? I really should have. Yeah, I'll be in the kitchen most of the afternoon and evening working on canning green beans, so I'll at least be moving...but really, I should have exercised! Mental lapse or something.


Nope, didn't weigh myself either! I can at least say that I did NOT binge or overeat this morning! I had toast for breakfast....yeah yeah yeah...maybe not totally the low carb, bread/pasta limiting plan I set out to do this week...but hey, what's a girl to do?

Postive influence

Have I managed to positively influence my co-workers? We are having a birthday party celebration today. I had talked them into doing fruit and veggies. I brought some healthy fruit dips and such and then everyone brought in fruit and veggies (and another gal brought in the veggie dip). We did have one gal bring in a cake...NOT a huge sheet cake (over kill for an office where we only have 6 workers....and that's what we used to get..yikes...we had cake coming out of our ears) but a normal 9 inch cake! When I came in I did notice that there were some 'non-healthy' things there....chips had managed to make it to the table...and who knows what else. But you know what.......it's better than previous potlucks! WHEW! I can actually eat at this one!!!!

My weight, down a hair this morning....still up...but going back down...and I'm at the top end of that 5 pound range that my body seems to like......so I'm glad to be going back down!

Nothing much else to say. I think I have to do more green beans this weekend. Who knows what else!

binge

Ok, so I binged last night on my eating. What's up with me? Why did I want to continue to eat after dinner? Ok, wrong question...not why did I want to. I know that answer. I wanted to because I'm totally addicted to food. The question is....why did I give in to my desire? Lets see.....a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, about 1 serving of baked tortilla chips, a weight watcher sunday bar, some pickles....hmmm I'm thinking I missed something.....but you get the point! I ATE! I probably had the points for one thing (the sundae cup) . OH yes....not one but TWO 100 calorie packs also went down the hatch last night!

Ok, does it help to know that the 100 cal packs that I dove into last night are GONE GONE GONE! No temptation left there! I guess that's a good thing! (and in case you want to know...it was the chocolate covered pretzel 100 cal packs.....bad bad bad thing to have in the house!)

Yes, I exercised this morning. At least there is something positive!

Thinking that a negative may actually be very positive

My weight...up and down. Today I'm retaining some water (I would wager a wild bet that I am at least).

I get frustrated about my weight loss...or lack thereof. But in reality, I guess I should be tickled pink...because my body is holding steady at this weight...pretty much within the same 5 pound range since last November. I've been holding this weight for almost a year. That is actually a positive...and a HUGE victory in itself....how many people can lose 130 pounds and maintain for a year? Yeah, I've been trying to lose (I'll admit that some weeks it's been a half hearted attempt)...but maybe for the long term benefit, this will be best. They say slow and steady is the best and will give the best long term results! Who knows!

I was talking to a friend just recently.....one that had lost a good deal of weight...but quickly. Started looking through some pictures of her (on her website). Oh my word, she's gaining it back AND fast! BUT good news on the friend front. My friend that lost a lot of weight...ordered her wedding dress and then gained weight and couldn't fit into the dress........she can now wear the dress again. (with less than 1.5 months before the wedding, she fits back into her dress!) Congrats to her! But you know what...these stories and discoveries.....my my my...just a reminder to me about how quickly it can all be gained right back AND how thankful I am that I've been able to maintain my current loss for so long!

I tried a new weight watcher meeting last night. They closed the meeting that I was attending, and to be honest, I wasn't at all pleased with the leader there anyway. I was excited about this new meeting. It was the perfect timing for me...and the perfect place...only about 6 miles from my house!

The meeting...oh my word. TERRIBLE! The people didn't talk amongst each other. Which is something that is really a big motivational tool for me. I like the interaction of the members. That is where some of the best motivation and ideas and support comes from. I sat down and the room was QUIET as we waited for the meeting to start. THEN, the leader started. And somehow she was talking about the healthy guidelines. Now as you know, these guidelines are not just pulled out of the sky by weight watchers. They are actually the basic guidelines of eating that is recommended by nutritionists. Well..this leader started talking and to paraphrase told us that to lose weight we really need to only focus on getting in the healthy oils and the water consumption. She went on to say that yeah, they say to eat 5 fruits and veggies a day, but that's pretty much ridiculous and near impossible! WHAT???? Come on now...on an average I eat about 7 a day! By the time I'm done with lunch today I'll already have 5 down the hatch...and I'll add more with dinner! So she thinks she can just throw out the healthy guidelines that she has problems with? I would have been OK if she would have said, "I struggle with my fruits and veggies...but I'm anal about getting in my water and my oil' or something like that. She also conducted the meeting and herself in that her way was the ONLY way to do this. Rubbed me wrong. I've been doing this long enough to know that there are tons of different ways to complete this journey...and not only that..but as I journey down this path, I have to change the way I do it periodically as my body changes and adjusts! Ohhh yeah, and she didn't even do a celebration period. Not that I had anything to celebrate (I didn't weigh in)...but I get motivated when I hear of other people succeeding!!!!

So next week (Tuesday night meeting also) I'm going to swing to another place for a 7PM meeting. I was actually so disappointed with the meeting that I would have gone to the this other meeting last night if the meeting that I attended would have ended 15 minutes early, giving me the time to drive to that meeting! I'm really really really hoping that this next weeks meeting is a good one. Because if not, I'll be forced to jump from meeting to meeting depending on my schedule for the week. (My schedule changes weekly). And I really do not want to do that as I thrive on the interaction that I have received from my co-meeting attendees.

I hope you are doing GREAT!

Tuesday Tiredness

Ackkk I didn't have time this morning to try to upload the pictures...oh well. Maybe tonight! :-)

Why didn't I have the time this morning to upload a few measly pictures? Well, I actually didn't wake up until just before 8AM. Last night we stayed up late watching the Olympics. Upon getting up we got our breakfasts ready and eaten and then we headed to the gym. I worked myself out pretty hard. I only did cardiovascular today. I really need to get myself back into the strength training stuff. It's been over a week since I did any strength training. NOT good. I can usually stay pretty motivated with the cardio stuff...but for some reason strength training seems to fall by the wayside way too often! What's up with that? But anyway, I got a good hour of high intensity exercise in!

My weight. Well, I knew yesterday that I wasn't drinking enough water. I knew when I went to bed. I knew when I woke up. (my ring was tight....retaining water). So when I stepped onto the scale and saw 1 pound up from where I was yesterday I was not shocked!

I enjoyed my 'free' day of not counting yesterday. I can look back and see that other than the dessert, I was probably not too far over my points. But you know what...I'm not going to officially go back and count. Tis not worth it! (and even the dessert was split in half with my husband!) I'm remembering back to when I first really started to lose weight. I gave myself 'free days'. And upon looking back I realized that when I say free, I didn't give myself permission to eat like a starving pig or to only eat junk food. I gave myself a day of freedom from being really strict with what I was eating. I gave myself the freedom of actually trying to make sure that what i was eating was doable within the budget. I still chose wisely..I just didn't worry about it as much. And you know what...it worked for me. I stopped doing it for whatever now unknown reason....so I've decided to pick it back up! Just to see if it works for me. Who knows if it will..but I think it's worth a try!

Other than that, I'm tired. I just feel sluggish. What's wrong with this picture???

Epiphany, history, wine and a total bust!

Today Todd and I were both off of work. We decided to head north to Bedford County PA and beyond. While on the interstate I had an Epiphany. Let me preface this by saying that I've never been a huge meat eater. I know that I went through a stage when I was around 10 (this stage lasted a few years) where I ate very minimal meat. Today, on the interstate I looked over at the other lane and saw a trailer with a few cows in it. They were serenely looking out the window. Their chocolate brown eyes were so calm and it just hit me that they were heading to their death....for someone like me to eat! And All of a sudden I knew that I didn't want to eat beef anytime soon. I don't know what it is that caused this feeling. I'll also be the first to admit that I have no bad thoughts about eating chicken (I even saw chickens running around today...and they didn't bother me). I know that this makes no sense...I all of a sudden just can't bear to eat beef but I"m ok with other animals? Sooooo that was my epiphany. I've actually already figured out what I'm going to do for the few meals on the menu that are beef based for this week. Who knows what this epiphany will bring, or even how long this will last...but it has just been really stuck in my head all day!

We spend the morning at Old Bedford Village. This is a place that I had visited as a young girl and I know that it had a profound impact upon me and my eventual love of history. SO I was excited to go. We walked around and enjoyed all the aspects of history that was displayed throughout the village. (ok, I'm royally bothered, blogger.com will not let me load my pictures due to an 'internal error' blah blah blah! I'll post the pics tomorrow)

After the morning at the village, we ate lunch at a really cool old Tavern. Jean Bonnet Tavern, which is right on Route 30. The food was excellent and the building was really neat. From there we went to Helixville Winery, where we were able to sample some wines that were made on the premises (and bought some to boot). We left there and headed to the highly touted Gravity Hill. Uhhhhh what a bust! It gave me no illusion of being gravity defying....but to each his own!


The last thing we did before heading home was to go visit the Flight 93 memorial (temporary) in Shanksville, PA. It was sobering to visit this memorial and to remember the terror that we felt during those awful hours on 9-11. The picture on the left is the wall of things that people have recently brought and left. They leave them up temporarily and then they take them down, clean them up and catalogue them. The guide told us that they have more than 30,000 items that have been left in memory. They hope to use some in the permanent memorial that they are currently planning and raising money to build. The picture on the left shows the field in which the plane came down. (the only pictures it would let me post today were these. I guess that is actually a good thing...because these pictures are much more serious than any of my other silly pictures!)

All in all, it was a full day by the time you added the travel time into the mix. BUt it was well worth it to get away!!!!!

*Todd and I went for a hike this morning. It was nice to get out on a nice cool morning. Afterward we went to an outdoor fleamarket and walked some more. That was a good thing. I found a bunch of new bottles for my collection! SO I"m all excited about that!

*I push mowed my parents properties today. SO there was about an hour of walking and pushing the mower. I uhhh, had some problems. I mowed over a flower bed and took down a tree that dad planted this summer (hey, next time weed it so I can see that it's a flower bed!) And well.....the front garden hose....I uhhh...kinda ran over it with the mower.

*Mom and I went to the mall. I bought some shoes to match my vintage dress (yeah yeah yeah, the one I can't fit into yet) and I got some free panties from Victoria's Secret. Oh yeah, and a new bra. W e went back to mom and dad's place and I fell asleep and slept for about 3 hours. (Yep, great visit with my mom...lol...but as mom said, it's what I must have needed...don't you love mommies!)

*My weight dropped again today. What??? I have no clue why! IN fact, the monthly ick hit today.....my weight normally is up on a day like this. SO I have no clue. I've binged a bit tonight though, so I don't know. I just couldn't stop eating! I have stopped now...but only because my stomach is like STUFFED!

*I"m off tomorrow. Todd and I are thinking about going up to Old Beford Village in PA. I went there when I was a kid.....and I fell in love with history..and I can credit some of that falling in love to Old Bedford Village. SO I"m excited to go tomorrow. I told dad though....I'll probably be so disappointed...and my childhood memory will be a bust! LOL Todd wants to go to Shanksville since we will be in that general area (about 30-40 miles away). Who knows what else we'll find to get into!

More of the same

I wasn't going to do it, but I couldn't resist. This morning the scales showed me 'down' to 181.6. so the up part of this weekly flucuation is over and I'm going back down. What a ride!

I rode the bike this morning.....about 45 minutes of a ride. My legs are finally recovering from my marathon canning and harvesting session on Wednesday. Just in time to do it all again! Yep, there are about 2 more beds that need picked and preserved! Meanwhile, I'm seriously contemplating doing some more dehydrating/drying of produce. I LOVE dried apples. SO I'm thinking I may pick up some at the orchard very soon and dry some! 1 apple slice (no sugar added) can NOT be many calaries or points!

Today is grocery day in our household. I spent some time in the early part of the week updating and re-organizing my coupon book. Then yesterday morning I created the menu of meals for this week. Last night I created a grocery list for those meals. Todd gave me his list of wants. And today while here at work I'll just scan through the coupons to see what I have that matches the list. I'll also look through the grocery sale flyer to match up any great deals with great coupons. :-) So after work, I'll go home, grab lunch and then head off to town to the grocery shopping.

the plan

I'm just going to cut to the chase today. Stepped on the scales....182.6. Yep, that is up 4.2 pounds from the last I stepped onto the scales...TWO DAYS ago! I'm disgusted...but I knew it would be up before I stepped onto the scales. My rings are super tight denoting some bloating/water retention. 4 pounds of it....probably not...but that's the way the cookie crumbles.

Meanwhile, I'm kicking into high gear my carb down plan. I admit that I'm a carb-a-holic. I love bread and pasta! And I have known for some time that I have to limit my intake. Well...I can honestly say that I've allowed extra to creep back into my diet. SO I'm trying to focus on allowing myself a carb (bread or pasta....I'm not counting the natural carbs from fruits and veggies) once a day. So tonight is pasta....so I didn't have oatmeal or toast for breakfast. I did not include a sandwich in the lunch I packed. For breakfast I had scrambled eggs and a sliced apple. Lunch was a salad, green beans (surprise eh), and applesauce. Tonight is pasta. YUMMY! We'll see how that works. Hopefully the combination of dropping some un-needed carbs AND switching up what I'm eating will knock me out of the ballpark with weight loss!

Sometimes, I kick myself for weighing everyday. I wonder why I do it. I mean, do I really need to know each day? Well yeah. because what happens if I have a stellar week...but then boom, i start to retain water the day of my weekly weigh in! Too bad..... AND, I know me...if I don't weigh myself, I tend to worry about what my weight is endlessly!! But I only weigh Once a day. I am not one of these scale addicted people. Once a day for me!

Still bummed about the going on's in my world. But moving and poking along this course of life.

Shocker-oooo

Well, I was up on the scales. On Tuesday I was up even more. I watched my points...but still had dinner with my family at my parents house....I stayed CLOSE to my points....going over by maybe 3 points for the day. But then I came home and just went on a total binge. I had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I had tortilla chips (baked!). I scarfed down not one but two weight watcher cookies. Ohhh and the last 5 or 6 or six of those zero point cookies...down the hatch. Yeah.....those zero point cookies are only zero points if you eat only 2! If you eat three...it's 1 point! I do believe I may have eaten something else...I must be repressing it from my memory! I was cognizant of what I was doing. It wasn't an uncontrolled binge...I just decided to do it...and say heck with my weight for a day...and then pick up the pieces the next morning. SO that's what I did. I had no plans to weigh myself on Wednesday morning. I mean...come on now, I was 181.8 on Tuesday morning...an I binged on Tuesday night. But, old habits die hard. I decided to step on to get a true reading of where I was and what mess I had to dig myself out of. I stepped on. Heck!!!! I jumped off and re did it. I weighed myself 5 times. Exactly the same each time! 178.4. There was a WW meeting shortly thereafter (like 40 minutes after I saw my weight)...I rushed up there...my paperwork has been processed. I'm officially a lifetime member! Wednesday eating though......well, I'll get to that later!
.

This is a picture that was snapped of Todd and I at Idlewild park last week. (ok, ok ok...so that was a week ago today. I've been meaning to put it on her since then...but I just kept getting sidetracked). Why am I putting this on here? Well, because I saw it and was shocked at my face! It's like soooo thin!

On Tuesday night I was at the city park with my brothers family and his kids. I was at the jungle gym with my niece. My dad decided to join us and he told my mom later ...crying...that he totally didn't recognize me. Hmmmmm.....




After the weight watcher meeting I rushed back to the business...where we have scads of green beans planted. It was a green bean harvest day. I (ok...Todd and I) picked green beans for about 3-4 hours. We picked about 3 bushels of green beans (below is pictured about 2.5 bushels of green beans....I gave a 1/2 bushel to my mom).




So you can imagine how I spent my Wednesday. CANNING GREEN BEANS! 127 jars later and I was finished. From start to finish (including picking time) I spent well over 19 hours working..and on my feet the whole time. I sat down twice...once to eat lunch and once to eat dinner...probably 5-10 minutes each time) Nope, I didn't get exercise in yesterday. Does it matter though? My body is more sore than it would be had I made it to the gym. (picking is a matter of squatting and lunging and bending....for hours on end; canning is moving heavy canners full of jars and water....pressure canners....lugging around bushels of beans, etc etc etc). Today I'm just plain exhausted. I got VERY little sleep last night. Lets just say I went to bed just a little before sunrise. And here I am at work....bright eyed and bushy tailed!

Eating yesterday. Well, I rushed out of the house so quickly to get my official weigh in completed that I didn't eat breakfast. I grabbed a fiber Wasa bar that I ate on the way to the garden. Zero points. Todd picked us up subs for lunch. So I had a half of Italian sub with a bag of sun chips and a Diet Pepsi. And then for dinner Todd ran out and got a pizza. SO I had half of a large pizza. (thin crust). And then at about midnight I nibbled on a weight watcher cookie. With the amount of movement and activity that I did yesterday, I'm thinking that the poor food choices will not derail me too far. BUT, the sodium will get me. Oh yeah.....When Todd came back with dinner he brought me a 2 liter of diet Sunkist. YEP, by the time I finally went to bed, I had downed 2 liters of diet soda. That on top of the 32 ounce diet Pepsi I had earlier. (Diet soda has sodium!) YIKES! This from a girl that very rarely even drinks one can!!!

Today I'm all set to be totally on target with my eating. It's all planned out! Exercise will be the problem today. I'm exhausted....from not getting sleep AND muscle wise. No worries though...it's all good.

WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!?

What in the world is it going to take to shake my body from this weight. Yesterday I worked out HARD! I ate right. I did it all correct. So why was I up another half of pound this morning on the scales??????? I have a friend that suggested that maybe I'm not eating enough.....I've tried adding in a few extra points (eating some of my activity points)...that doesn't work at all. Honestly, the only time I'm able to lose weight is when I cut my points down by another point or two and that is only for a week or two...and then the weight comes right back. And I sure as heck can not eat any flex points I discovered long ago that if I eat my flex points, I either maintain or gain! What is it with me? WHY WHY WHY!

I guess I'm even more frustrated because I need to get to a meeting in order to get processed as a lifetime member. Today I'm right on the cusp of my weight range...AGAIN. So quite honestly, I'm not going. I'm hoping that my weight drops some later this week and I can get that processed sometime this week. I'm just so frustrated that I can scream!

Looking back....I've been within 5 pounds of my current weight since last NOVEMBER! I am fast approaching one year of this stupid plateau! Come on now! I will readily admit that there was a few weeks here and there where I just put away the journal and didn't keep track of what I'd eaten. But for 99.9% of the time I've kept meticulous records. I've had people look at my journal........I'm eating correctly. I've had people suggest to eat more or less points....Nope...that has no effect. Kick up the exercise????? No budging! I'm not eating horribly. This last week...last Thursday I did have a Jr cheeseburger at the amusement park...with apple slices. That was my splurge! We did go out to eat that night and i had a bite of dessert. But my points were not terribly out of whack...and the rest of the week I've been totally on point! I've had people recommend me go to the doctor because maybe my thyroid or some other internal organ/system has gotten out of whack with all this weight loss. I went...I've had the blood tests....everything is fine. What more can I do? I mean, I know to continue doing what I'm doing. I've been told enough that if I continue it will just 'pop loose' and the weight will drop off! But a year of 'just continue doing what you are doing,"????

Can I go have a cry now????