Completely Nuts & Nonconforming......another try at CNN

Yesterday was a good day.  I woke up and had a healthy breakfast (oatmeal with a banana cooked in with the oatmeal...so tasty) and headed out for a run.  I packed my lunch (a salad) and I knew what dinner was going to be.  I was set for the day.  I had a slight problem when I forgot my banana in my lunch, but it turns out that my salad filled me up and I didn't need the banana.  However, I guess I did not need to replace the missing banana with the truffle that I had at work. (Darn-it, our customers bring us so many yummy things! And it's only going to get worse during the holiday season!).  75 calories and I was OK, still within my planned caloric budget.   The second truffle was probably over the edge....but I wasn't too concerned.  I had run and I also knew I was heading to zumba later in the day.  :-)

So zumba and a run!  My run was an ok run.  My pace was slow and steady but I was out there moving.  It will improve with consistency.

So we all know that when I run I start to think about things.  Sometimes I have some amazing Epiphanies whilst I'm out running.  (Yes, my thoughts are amazing, and don't you dare tell me otherwise!  Leave me to my delusions!)   This morning my thoughts were spurred on by random facebook post that I had read earlier in the morning.  The facebook post was about the CNN triathlon challenge that they do each year...the six pack thingy.  

My thoughts were all over the place.  Way back in December 2011 I applied to be part of the 2012 team.  I had thought of my application and possibly being picked as a 'salvation'.  If I got picked I would be swooped from the world of obese lethargy.   They would fix my woes.   When I wasn't picked I lost my 'chance' and I gave up.  No one was going to save me so I sat on my couch and ate myself into oblivion. Ohhh, I was still giving off the attitude of caring and trying.  However, my spirit was crushed.  It wasn't until about a year later that I realized that they couldn't swoop in and save me.  There is only one person that can save me and that is myself.

After I had thoroughly  chewed over those thoughts the epiphany happened.  Why not try again this year?   This year I wouldn't be looking for a savior to fix me.  I would just be looking for help as I tried to save myself and also looking for assistance as I try to knock a triathlon off my bucket list!   I ran along down the road and I decided to do it.  I gathered my thoughts about what direction I would want my video to go and grabbed Todd and off I went.  My video is raw, unscripted, off the cuff.  I may have rambled a bit.  But you know what.  I don't care.  It's me, it's a wild stab and I can sleep well at night knowing that I didn't waffle on that thought.  I don't want to live my life with regrets...thinking "you know what, I thought about applying but I didn't".

I don't hold out any great hope....but I'll tell you this...I want it.  :)

Epiphany, history, wine and a total bust!

Today Todd and I were both off of work. We decided to head north to Bedford County PA and beyond. While on the interstate I had an Epiphany. Let me preface this by saying that I've never been a huge meat eater. I know that I went through a stage when I was around 10 (this stage lasted a few years) where I ate very minimal meat. Today, on the interstate I looked over at the other lane and saw a trailer with a few cows in it. They were serenely looking out the window. Their chocolate brown eyes were so calm and it just hit me that they were heading to their death....for someone like me to eat! And All of a sudden I knew that I didn't want to eat beef anytime soon. I don't know what it is that caused this feeling. I'll also be the first to admit that I have no bad thoughts about eating chicken (I even saw chickens running around today...and they didn't bother me). I know that this makes no sense...I all of a sudden just can't bear to eat beef but I"m ok with other animals? Sooooo that was my epiphany. I've actually already figured out what I'm going to do for the few meals on the menu that are beef based for this week. Who knows what this epiphany will bring, or even how long this will last...but it has just been really stuck in my head all day!

We spend the morning at Old Bedford Village. This is a place that I had visited as a young girl and I know that it had a profound impact upon me and my eventual love of history. SO I was excited to go. We walked around and enjoyed all the aspects of history that was displayed throughout the village. (ok, I'm royally bothered, blogger.com will not let me load my pictures due to an 'internal error' blah blah blah! I'll post the pics tomorrow)

After the morning at the village, we ate lunch at a really cool old Tavern. Jean Bonnet Tavern, which is right on Route 30. The food was excellent and the building was really neat. From there we went to Helixville Winery, where we were able to sample some wines that were made on the premises (and bought some to boot). We left there and headed to the highly touted Gravity Hill. Uhhhhh what a bust! It gave me no illusion of being gravity defying....but to each his own!


The last thing we did before heading home was to go visit the Flight 93 memorial (temporary) in Shanksville, PA. It was sobering to visit this memorial and to remember the terror that we felt during those awful hours on 9-11. The picture on the left is the wall of things that people have recently brought and left. They leave them up temporarily and then they take them down, clean them up and catalogue them. The guide told us that they have more than 30,000 items that have been left in memory. They hope to use some in the permanent memorial that they are currently planning and raising money to build. The picture on the left shows the field in which the plane came down. (the only pictures it would let me post today were these. I guess that is actually a good thing...because these pictures are much more serious than any of my other silly pictures!)

All in all, it was a full day by the time you added the travel time into the mix. BUt it was well worth it to get away!!!!!

A wow moment

I was writing an email to a friend and we were discussing a little pig out session that she had had in terms to eating..... I responded with.

"I'm not surprised about the mini-pig out session. Your stress levels...with crazy flako and with Kaid being sick they've got to be sky high! The good thing (ok, you know me....gotta find the good in something) is that you were able to look back and recognize what caused you to eat....you are looking at it objectivly and honestly. AND you didn't let it get you down! Knowing that.....when you start to boil mad over "flako" or start to worry more about Kaid (continue to worry I should say) then you can look at your experience with the eating and hopefully resist! I know for me, SOMETIMES it helps if I put into thoughts exactly how long...or how much...or at what intensity I would need to exercise to actually break even on something that I'm eating. Wow...that was just a light bulb for me. I was doign that in early fall....in my mind calculating every thing I ate into how much exercise would be required to cause it to wash out. I've been trying to figure out what in the world has been different. You see...until about Thanksgiving I was having pretty steady weight loss. After thanksgiving....it's been this seesaw weight loss/gain thing. I've said that I don't think it's a plateau...but something has altered....maybe that is. Because I know when I was playing that trick in my mind....I was better able to resist eating because I don't like to exercise....."

That was Truely a light bulb moment for me. Maybe that is what has changed! I am going to try to really think that way!

Meanwhile...I think the scales are starting to move downward again! Woo hooo