Disgust!

Yesterday I did so good. I was careful, I was active (painting..but active none-the-less) and I stopped on the scales this morning....woah baby was I up! That is so not cool! It's actually quite disgusting.

Honestly, it makes me want to give in and give up. NO, I'm not going to. I've already made plans to buckle down even further. BUT it is just so disheartening! Like I said in yesterday's entry, I know what I've done. The sick part is that I wasn't being all that bad. And to gain a significant amount just really puts a damper on any enthusiasm I have for this journey. Where in the world does one find the mojo to continue on when the chips are down.

My exercising still isn't where it should be. The alarm went off at the proper time...allowing me to have the time to exercise, shower, eat breakfast and get ready for work (and still be here on time). I leaned over and turned the alarm off....and then preceeded to lay in bed for about 25 minutes. I can make all sorts of excuses...it was cold out....I was tired....whatever excuse I want to make. But it boils down to the fact that I just didn't feel like it. Even as I lay there beating myself up for not getting out of bed...I made plans to exercise tonight. I thought about the fact that I'll be watching The Biggest Loser tonight and I have decided that if I don't exercise before than, that I will ride the bike while I watch it tonight. I'm fearful though...because I know that the best laid plans don't always work out. I've got to kick start my exercising though.

I'm not going to my meeting tonight. Various reasons.....with the biggest being the fact taht i'm working a long day today and I know that usually after working a long day i just want to go home and put on my comfy clothes. I know I gained.....I know what I need to do to fix it.

Work on the other place is progressing nicely. It looks a mess.....but I can see where things are going to really start falling together very soon. :-) I'm looking forward to moving in over there. There have been some hardships where we live. It's not exactly easy to live above a recording studio.....just to name one. Plus, the water issues (we live on a cistern so before i do anything I have to check to make sure we have enough water to do it...and we have to haul in drinking water). Heat....an old house...difficult to heat! The other place has good heating! (and central air for the summer...what a plus....no more window units like we have now). I could go on and on with lists of wonderful things. Things that you'd normally take for granted...but I haven't. In a way it's been a very good thing. I've learned not to take for granted many things. Water.....how many times do we simply turn on the faucet and let the water run with no thought. I don't do that. In fact, I hope I never just mindlessly waste water....I don't want to become hardened again. So there have been some important lessons that I've learned. :-)

NOT GOOD

Woah......I realized yesterday that I had not journalled ANYTHING that I'd eaten in my food tracker! NOT good. I know from past experience that when I don't journal every bite...that I tend to eat a little more and gain weight. SOOOO...I'm back on track with at least that.

I still haven't gotten back into the exercise. I find it simply amazing how difficult it is to motivate yourself to get back into the exercise routine. When I'm doing good....exercising 6 days a week it seems so easy to do it. After I haven't done it for a few days it seems so difficult to do even one day! BUt, each day...each minute is a new one...and I'm starting fresh!

My weight is up a bit. Not a good thing. However, I'm going to make sure that it comes down!!!!!!

Well...I showed that .8 loss at my last weigh in. But since then I've sort of fallen apart. I've not done too awfully terrible. However I know that I'm not doing all that great either. My weight has gone up a pound or two. That is totally disappointing! SO I decided to look deeply and see exactly what is happening. There are two things going on. Exercise and eating......duh..what else could it be!

Exercise. Well, my foot injury from the other week. While I'm ok with basic walking. I found out that it still hurts pretty badly if I'm on my foot too long or do something too demanding with my foot. I keep telling myself that there is no excuse...I should be on the exercise bike! BUT, saying that and doing that are two different things. I don't want to overextend myself...with an injury becuase that will keep me from exercising all that much longer!

EATING. This one is the biggie. I do ok with my lunch. But when it comes time to make dinner...I'm in the kitchen and I snitch food while I making dinner. Yes, dinner could be mere minutes from being put on the table and I am eating something else! This is so not good...it's wracking up extra points that I don't need to be eating! I know that's where the problem lies! Becuase if I actually look at my 'meals'...my points are right on target....it's that snitching that is pushing me over the edge! I keep telling myself that I'm not goign to do it anymore, yet it happens time and time again! NOT COOL!

I've been busy also with stuff for the other place. It seems as if my spare time is spent in one of three ways. One...over at the other place, painting, cleaning and otherwise working. OR Two, spent planning and purchasing stuff. or THREE, in making curtains and other things that I'll need. (Yeah, I'm making them...it's more fun...and I can get what I want!) So I feel overwhelmed with life and all that it entails right now!

Thoughts on my Food Addiction

I was writing an email to a friend this morning. This friend has just recently started to switch to a healthier lifestyle and is trying to lose weight. I had mad a comment about how when I'm eating correctly and I've won, at least temporarily, this battle over my food addiciton, that I feel so empowered and so proud of myself that it's almost as if I'm on a little high. It started to make me think. Ok, I'm addicted to food and when I'm eating something, I'll overeat to continue to feel that high or that rush of good feelings that I get when I eat something delicious. Sooooo if I can get a similar (no, I'm not even going to say that its the same) feeling when I win a battle with this addiction...is there someway that I can equate that feeling and substitute it for the those feelings/highs i get when I'm eating like a mad woman? Yes, I know addiction transferrance is a bad thing. But trying to equate those really good feelings of beating it and putting that positive act in place of the negative one can't be bad.

I've looked deeply at why I may be addicted to food. I iknow that I love the tastes and textures of food. I don't sit and crave foods though. My problem begins when I start to eat something. Or I should say when i start to eat something that's really good. What happens is that it tastes sooo good....I keep eating because simply for that reason.....it's so good. I've found though...that the first few bites are what tastes the best. WOAH......a thought just popped into my head. A previous boss of mine told me that she had read that if you take three bites of something that you would be satisfied when you were done and would be able to push away. Well......i've tried it and it does work. It takes willpower but you are totally satisfied with only three bites (of the bad stuff of course). That kind of works into my addiction thing. Those first three bites or the best anyway. After the first couple bites, the taste diminishes. (Although, becasue I'm an addict, I continue to eat and eat and eat more of the same thing...trying to re-kindle those first bite feelings). HMMMMMMMMM So they both go together hand in hand.

Tonight is my weigh in. I actually forgot to weigh in this morning. Therefore, I really and truely don't know how it's going to go. I know that my weight has been at around 181 on my home scales these last few days. But today...who knows....the ick arrived just the other day...and that can totally mess up the works! We'll have to see. If my home scales remain somewhat true to the meeting scales I should be down about 1.5 to 2 pounds. We'll ahve to see though! :-) It will be interesting to see how everyone else did this week!

My foot is doing pretty good. It doesn't hurt anymore when I walk or move around. However, i just realized that it hurts when I'm running. I ran over to the library while at work. I didn't put on my winter coat and just ran over. It was very cold. So I ran back to the bank.....my foot hurt while I was running. True, I had on a shoe with a bit of a heel.....but still. So I'm still goign to have to be careful. We didn't make it to the gym last night....well, take that back, we made it to the gym....but they were having a blood drive for the Red Cross ....so we gave blood instead (ok, Todd gave....I went through the whole rigamorole and waited and all that and then they couldn't find a vein to tap...oh well). So that used up our time...and Todd had to work in the evening so we dindt' have the time to do both. BUT, I know that I need to kick my exercise back into gear. I'd optimally like to go back into exercising first thing in the morning....and then ride the bike for 20-30 minutes in the evening if at all possible. I think that would help me drop these pounds to get to my goals!

For some reason my pictures of my 'babies' won't upload! It's really starting to pluck my nerves!

Good eating, size 12, wearing mediums, doing well!

Well, my weight is still holding at roughly 181.5 pounds! Even with the ick having started! I'm pretty happy about that. Yeah, I'd like to drop into the 170's...but I'll settle with any loss!

I've been doing pretty good with my eating the last few days. I've tried to stay within my points and make healthy options. I haven't been exercising as much as I normally do...basically because I wanted to give my foot a bit of a break. Today though, I get off work at 3PM and Todd and I are planning on going to the gym. That should give me a nice workout! Woo hooo!

Yesterday I was at the mall with mom. I decided to try on some dress pants. No, I'm not buying any....the ones that I have are ok for use still...my current pants are size 14's. Some are getting loose on me...but they are definitely still wearable. :-) So, I decided to try on the 12's to see how they fit. I can fit into the 12's!!! Amazing!!! I'm hoping to leapfrog over the 12's. Basically wear the 14's loose and baggy as long as I can...with belts and whatnot, and try to save my money by not buying any/many 12's......and then buy 10's as my next size down. We'll see. I know that in the past, I've been so tickled to actually be the next size down that I go ahead and buy one pair of pants that fits me perfectly. We'll see. I've always kinda thought that I'd be around a 10 when I get to my goal weight....that's looking like it may be true. Possibly even an 8. Oh my word..that would be like unheard of in my book...to be an 8! But, no worries....I'll be what I'll be when I get there! :-)

The other thing that happened at the mall. I was in this one store with mom and found this adorable dress shirt....(it had a cat embroidered on it). It was on the sale rack...my kind of shopping (at least now when I'm trying to be frugal with money as my sizes are changing so drastically). So I picked up an XL to try on. I actually also picked up a Large. I know that the last thing I'd had purchased (months ago) from that store was an XL....and I knew that it was quite loose now. Well, I went in and tried on the XL....very big. I modelled it for mom and pointed out the buttons and little flaps on the side that would enable me to draw the shirt in a bit smaller as I lost weight. REALLy cool. But as it was big, we decided to try on the large. I went in and woah doggie..the large was still pretty roomy. I must have had this huge look of consternation on my face as I went back to the rack of clothes. They had only had like 4 of these shirts...what was the chance that they actually had another one...but this time in Medium. Well, thet did! I tried it on.....it's not as roomy as the Large (obviously) but it fit quite nicely. It still has the button thing...so as I lose some more, I'll still be able to pull it in a little as I continue to lose! SOOOO I'm wearing a MEDIUM. What's with that? :-)

I did finally go into Victoria's Secret. I felt a bit awkward at first. Afterall, I've still got the 'fat girl' mentality. I'll admit that I was a bit intimidated because of my own insecurities. However, I'm every bit as entitled to be there. I didn't even have to buy the largest sizes that they sold! God Bless my husband for recognizing my insecurities with this weight loss and taking steps to get me past it (he knew that a gift certificate would ensure me going into there.). :-) I didn't buy anything super sexy or anything. I bought things that I desparately needed. When I get closer to my goal weight (and a more stabile size) I'll splurge and buy some of this big ticket items! :-)

Work is still progressing at the other place. I'm sure that the fact taht I've done a decent amount of work over there has helped to bring my weight down a bit this week (especially since I haven't bee exercising a whole lot, because of my foot). Even though it is not work that is making me strain and sweat......it is causing me to be on my feet and moving. THAT has to count for something. I'm hoping that once I can kick back into the routine of formal exercise every day, topped with the work over there..that the weight will just melt off of me!!!!

Measurments

I try to take a monthly measurement of my body with the good old tape measure. I keep the figures on a spreadsheet....making a new spreadsheet for every year. So I decided tonight to go ahead and do my Jan. 2008 measurements. For some reason, I decided to compare my first measurements to todays. Well, what I did was actually find the spot on the tape measure ....from my measurments from 2 years ago and then hold it in place. It was actually shocking to see the very visible evidence of exactly how big I was. Mind boggling!

Saturday Morning

Yep, Saturday morning hit...and with it the absolute feeling of lethargy......which means that I slept in a bit and didn't get up to exercise. I'm not too overly concerned. I only work until noon. And then at that point I am going to run home, eat a quick lunch and then run over to the other house to work. I'll be painting, climbing ladders, squating to dip brushes/rollers, etc etc etc. for a couple hours, so at least I'll be somewhat active today. I should be able to have at least 4-5 hours over there to work today. On one hand, I'm dreading going over there and working...I'll be by myself and I really do get tired of painting. In fact, its already starting to wear thin. But on the other hand, I'm so excited about getting it done that I just want to be over there constantly to get it done as quickly as possible.

Tonight, Todd wants another mushroom swiss burger with some kind of pasta. I'm debating exactly what kind of pasta to make....one that I like and I'll eat.....or one that I hate so I will not eat. HMMM I guess it depends on what I eat for lunch I guess. :-)

My weightw as down to 181.6 this morning...so at least I'm going downward....slowly!

Mysteriously Quiet

I just realized that I've been very quiet on my blog. It's not because I've been doing poorly, or that I've fallen off the wagon. The main reason is that I've been incredibly busy. We are working on some remodelling projects on a house that we own....one that we are hoping to move into in a few months. It's a lot of cosmetic things....but todd's step father didn't take care of it and left it in shambles.....and a pig-sty. Therefore, I pretty much want every surface painted over or covered! So I've been painting...hours and hours of painting! Every day either before work or after work (depending on my schedule) paint paint paint. Kitchen cabinets take FOREVER to do. We've also had some extra trips to town to buy supplies.....so that takes time also.

I went to my weigh in on Tuesday night. I was up...as I knew I would be. I was up 1.6 pounds. It could have been a whole lot worse...if I wouldn't have worked my tail end off over the holidays to get the weight off from that binge that I had! It felt good to get back to the meetings and back on track! My weight was 183.4. That puts me 19.6 pounds from getting to my goal...my weight watchers goal that is!

I hurt my foot on Tuesday while exercising...yep, I fell off my step while doing step aerobics. While it's getting better, I do still feel some twinges of pain if I'm on it too much or if I move it wrong. Have I let this derail my exercise efforts? Not at all. I've been getting on the exercise bike. I found that I really don't like to ride the exercise bike...the time drags on and on.....but I'm doing it.

Interesting article

From sparkpeople.com1.

1. Carl's Jr. Western Bacon Six Dollar Burger I’m an East Coast kind of guy, but I realize there are no boundaries when it comes to bad foods. So, for this review, I took the advice of 19th Century newspaper editor Horace Greeley who urged, “Go west, young man, go west.” The Western Bacon Six Dollar Burger will gun you down with 1,130 calories (600 from fat), 66g fat (100% of your Daily Reference Value), 28g saturated fat (140% DRV), 150mg cholesterol, 2,540mg sodium (110%DRV), 83g carbs, and 47g protein.

2. Pizza Hut Double Deep Pizza These Double Deep Pizzas are handcrafted by loading an entire pizza with twice the toppings of a medium pizza, plus 50% more cheese and then wrapping the crust over the top to hold all the toppings in. I tried two slices of the Meaty variety. According to the Pizza Hut Website, I also opted for 1,160 calories, 72g fat (110% of your recommended Daily Value), 28g saturated fat (140% DV), 3g trans fat, 200mg cholesterol, 3,980mg sodium (166% DV), 62g carbs, and 62g protein.

3. El Monterey XX Large Chimichanga While shopping at Wal-Mart here in Northeastern Pennsylvania, I noticed Spicy Red Hot Beef & Bean Chimichangas in a cooler near the deli. They looked suspiciously like my 3-for-a-buck burritos of yesteryear—only bigger and a tad more costly. While a standard burrito wraps a filling of meat, beans and/or cheese in a flour tortilla, a chimichanga is a meat-filled tortilla…deep-fried. The key words "deep-fried" may explain why my mushy 10-ounce XX Large Chimichanga did a Mexican fat dance on my diet to the tune of 920 calories, 57g of fat (15g saturated, 1g trans fat), 40mg cholesterol, 1,140mg sodium, 83g carbs, and 22g protein.

4. Denny’s Meat Lover’s Scramble As Mr. Bad Food, I’ve seen plenty of bad nutrition numbers in my day. But I never saw anything as heart-stopping as what I found on the Denny’s Website one day. It was my stomach that turned upside down when I checked out the nutrition numbers for Denny’s Meat Lover’s Scramble. Denny’s could be charged with “salt with a deadly weapon” for serving a breakfast entree that packs an unbelievable 4,170mg of sodium! The Meat Lover’s Scramble will also shake you down with 1,280 calories, 71g of fat (21 saturated, 0 trans), 565mg cholesterol (the RDA is 300mg), 103g carbs and 54g protein (RDA is 50). By the way, the RDA for fat is 65 grams, so you are taking in more than a day’s fat, cholesterol and sodium in a single meal!

5. Hardee’s Country Breakfast Burrito The word burrito sounds like a term for a little burro. If you don’t want to make an ass_of yourself—by scarfing down 60 grams of fat with your first meal of the day—then steer clear of the Country Breakfast Burrito at Hardee’s. The king-sized breakfast burrito is cobbled together from two omelets, five hashrounds (their cutesy version of hashbrowns), cheddar cheese, and sausage gravy. The omelets that fill out the tortilla each contain two eggs, crumbled sausage, diced ham and bacon bits. Now, if you’re hungry for 920 calories, 23 grams of saturated fat, and nearly 2,000 milligrams of sodium for your morning meal, dig in!

6. KFC Chicken & Biscuit Bowl The clever cooks at KFC devised a way to toss together an entire chicken dinner in a single bowl. According to the KFC Website, the new bowls are “a blend of mouth-watering KFC flavors and textures all layered together.” Their nutrition guide says that the Chicken & Biscuit dish will bowl you over with 870 calories, 44g of fat (11 saturated, 4.5 trans), 60mg cholesterol, 2,420mg sodium (101% of your recommended daily amount), 88g carbs, and 29g protein.

7. Starbucks Double Chocolate Chip Frappuccino Blended Crème When is a coffee drink not a coffee drink? When it comes with calories and frothy extras you’d expect to get with a milkshake! Oh, and when it doesn’t even include coffee! Case in point: The 24-ounce (that’s Venti-sized in Starbucks lingo) Double Chocolate Chip Frappuccino Blended Crème served up at your local Starbucks. This drink is made from rich chocolate, chocolate chips and milk, and is blended with ice, and topped with whipped cream (optional), and chocolate drizzle. With 670 calories, 22g of total fat, (12g saturated fat; 0.5g of trans fat), and 107g of carbs, it only sounds like a coffee drink. The 12 grams of saturated fat is equal to the saturated fat you get in a McDonald’s Quarter-Pounder with Cheese… but the sandwich packs 160 fewer calories than the Frappuccino!

8. Pizza Hut P’Zone It takes two hands to handle a Pizza Hut P’Zone. The problem is—according to the nutrition info on their website—it should also take two people! Yes, despite the fact their TV ads showed a bunch of hungry guys chowing down on whole P’Zones, each super-sized dough pockets of meats, cheeses and sauce is considered TWO SERVINGS. The nutrition numbers… doubled for those of us who consider the P’Zones one-meal wonders: P'Zone Classic: 1,220 calories, 46g fat, 22g saturated fat, 2g trans fat, 130mg cholesterol, 2,700mg sodium, 144g carbs, 8g fiber, 60g protein. P'Zone Pepperoni: 1,260 calories, 48g fat, 22g saturated fat, 2g trans fat, 140mg cholesterol, 2,980mg sodium, 140g carbs, 6g fiber, 64g protein. P'Zone Meaty: 1,380 calories, 58g fat, 26g saturated fat, 2g trans fat, 160mg cholesterol, 3,460mg sodium, 144g carbs, 8g fiber, 70g protein.

9. Wendy’s Baconator The term “Baconator” sparks images of an action flick featuring a leading man with a terribly thick Austrian accent. But if you’re planning on ordering Wendy’s newest blockbuster, think again. I can picture it now: A seatbelt-straining drive-thru customer grabs his grease-stained bag of beef, bacon and fried potatoes, and before driving off to feast upon his Baconator, he shouts to the drive-up window jockey, “I’ll be bawk…for my defibrillator paddles!” Then, just before he zooms out of earshot, the server leans out of her window and yells back at him: “Hasta la vista, flabby!” OK, so it’s poor scriptwriting. But it’s also poor dining to indulge in this Wendy’s double cheeseburger on steroids. The Baconator boasts two beef patties, two slices of cheese and SIX slices of bacon! Do yourself a favor and terminate your urge to order this beast of a burger. The nutritional numbers for the 10-ounce Baconator: 830 calories, 51g of fat (22g saturated, 2.5g trans fat), 170mg of cholesterol, 1,920mg of sodium, 35g of carbs, and 57g of protein.

10. Denny’s Extreme Grand Slam Ads for Denny’s Grand Slam breakfasts used to feature the tagline, “$2.99…Are you out of your mind?!” Now that the restaurant chain has launched ads for its new Extreme Grand Slam—a breakfast platter piled high with three strips of bacon, three sausage links, two eggs, hash browns and three pancakes—they might want to change it to, “You’re ordering a Denny’s Extreme Grand Slam…Are you out of your freakin’ mind?!” The nutritional numbers for the 21-ounce Extreme Grand Slam: 1,160 calories, 64g of fat (17g of saturated fat), 560mg of cholesterol, 3,750mg of sodium, 102g of carbs, 4g of fiber, and 45g of protein.

Dissapointment

I'm relatively positive that I will not show a maintain or a loss tonight. I'm kinda sad about that. I've come close. But, at least (hopefully) I won't show a massive gain. (Honestly, I'm thinking maybe 2 pounds....which is better than the 8-9 pounds that it truely was after my binge week). Oh well...I need to go, suck it up, face the music and get my tail end into gear.

Yesterday at work the gals were tearing down the Christmas decorations. They called me out from my desk (I was at Drive through) because they needed a "skinny" person to climb up on a window ledge (not very high) to take down the garland and pull the staples. Uhhh they were asking me???? Who in the world do you think you are speaking to...i'm fat! But then I had to remember that I am a RECOVERING Fatty! I know I shouldn't say that about myself, but you know, it's the truth. I was fat. I was obese. Heck I was morbidly obese....it was bad. There is no way that I can put my previous weight that is in a good light!

Just recently I was either reading about somehting...or talking to someone and they mentioned that they just don't see themselves as thin. Will I ever feel thin? Or will I always have the 'fat girl' mentality. I still struggle with going into certain stores. I just feel crazy going into them....afterall, a fat girl doesn't need to shop (or can shop) at a lot of stores. It's not that I feel inferior....but I just feel crazy...like I'm trying to stuff a fat body into thin clothes...even though I now that they will and do fit me. It's crazy I know! I'm just wondering if I'll ever get over that feeling...or if those feelings of still being big will be with me forever...seared in my memory!

Another though....skin. I'm still concerned about the saggy skin!!!!! ARRRGGHHH

Well, today Todd and I planned on getting up at a decent hour to go over to the other place to continue to work on our remodelling project (more painting today). I actually set that alarm for 1 hour earlier than need be in order to exercise beforehand. Man, that is soooooo motivating eh? Well, I set up the step and turned on the step aerobic dvd. My back was really stiff...but I started anyway. I know from experience that my back will really loosen up while I exercise and in reality will feel better when I'm through with my exercise. SOOOOOO I trudged on. UNTIL I stepped back off the step and when I came down I twisted my ankle but good. I didn't fall...but I couldn't put weight on it for a few. I limped to the sofa and waited...usually the pain tapers off after a few minutes.. but it didn't seem to be hapening. I finally flipped off the dvd (there is nothing more annoying than hearing an exercise dvd play when you are not exercising). My foot hurt to beat the band...but after a few minutes I was up walking. I knew that it was tender and woudl be tender for a while so i stopped exercising...put everything away and used that time to be productive...I folded the 3 baskets of laundry that I had completed the previous night but just hadn't gotten around to folding. We did still make it over and painted for about 3-4 hours. Got a lot done. The kitchen cabinets are fully primed, the kitchen ceiling is DONE and the kitchen cabinets are halfway painted! Woo hoo! My foot is still a bit tender if I step on it wrong...or if I move it incorrectly (a weird way) but overall its doing pretty good.

What in the world has gotten into me?

I haven't eaten all that horribly today......if you compare it to how I USED to eat. But I just didn't eat as well as I am used to eating currently. Oh well.....tomorrows another day (actually this new minute is another chance!) What got me, you may be wondering. Well, it was the biscuits at the Cracker Barrel where my husband I ate with my parents. I had planned on eating on biscuit. However, we started talking about an emotional issue (for me at least) and I ate another biscuit and half of a cornbread muffin! It was total emotional eating. I'm a bit worried that I messed up my weigh in for Tuesday night. I'm hoping not!

Well, I guess I'm off to exercise!

Back into the swing of things

Yes, I'm getting back into the swing of things after the upheaval that the two back to back holidays cause. It's good upheaval....but it is somewhat comforting to be back to a normal state of affairs. One of the main things for me is that it's oh so much easier to eat healthy and maintain the level of exercise that I've set forth as my daily life when my life is more settled into a normal routine. Saying this...my weight is down to 181.0 this morning. I'm pretty happy with that. I'm hoping to pull off a 'maintain' at my Tuesday weight watchers meeting. If you remember, the weigh in after my binge, I chose to not weigh in. I knew that my weight was up about 8 pounds...but I thought it would motivate me to get that weight off before the next weigh in I'd be attending (3 weeks later). It's been a rough three weeks....Christmas and New years fell within those three weeks. BUT, it's looking like I may be able to pull it off! It will be a close call....and will require me to lose a tad bit more before the weigh in.

Meanwhile, things are starting to roll on our remodel project. We are waiting for the plumber to get there to fix the main water shut off valve. Then we can continue with tearing out the shower, toilet, sink and the broken dishwasher. We need to take up the flooring in the kitchen also and then we will be ready to put in the new stuff! All that physical labor should help the weight loss efforts!

You know...I don't think I ever put down my year 2008 goals....I've alluded to them but never listed them directly out!

1. Get to my 'weight watchers' goal weight. Roughly 164 pounds. That will put me in the healthy weight range for my height! (I'm aiming for March 1st, I'd have to lose about 2 pounds a week to make that date.....realistically I'm saying by my anniversary, April 6th wich is actually 1.23 pounds a week)

2. Maintain my weight watchers goal weight for 6 weeks to become a lifetime member (and thereby stop paying the monthly fee)

3. Continue losing to get to a good healthy weight for me. My number that I've pulled out of a hat to try to attain is 150...but in reality, that number will depend on my body! (My dream time to finish this would be by my anniversary...which would be about 2.2 pounds a week. However, my realistic goal is the beginnng of June which is about 1.27 pounds a week)

4. Complete our remodel project and move in. (I'm thinking at the earliest March, Todd is thinking February)

5. Eat at home more often, consitently trying new recipes instead of getting stuck in a rut making the same things.

6. Keep up with the business books instead of letting things pile up and then doing a massive thrust to catch up!

7. Save money!!!!!

So there you have it, my 2008 goals!

I'm still pondering what route I want to take with this desire/calling that I feel to help other people develop a healthier lifestyle. I just don't know what direction to go in. I've thought about doing the dietician route...but when I look at the courses required, it includes a lot of science...I HATE science! In previous school experiences, I absolutely detested any science class that had labs also! That leaves personal training...but I'm not sure that that is the route for me. They have these 'life coaches' but I don't know what is involved in that and how to do something like that....so I'm just not sure.

An honest look at todays weigh in

Yesterday I was so happy that I was down to 181.6. Then this morning I was up at 182.4. Almost a full pound of fluctuation!! What the H E double hockey sticks! Ok, let me be honest. My meals were my points with exactly 1 point left over for extra. I SHOULD have had a WW 1 point fudge bar for dessert...since I would have had one point. Do you think I would do something like that? NO WAY! I ate a 3 point dessert cup! I also snitched a piece of swiss cheese while I was making Todd's Swiss and mushroom burger. CHEESE!!! so with the cheese...that's three points...and the dessert cup is 3...oh and lets not forget a I tried a bite of the roll that mom wanted me to try. ARRGGHHH Why do I seem to gain if I eat any of my flex points???????

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Found this article on The Biggest Loser section on the NBC Website....it struck a chord...so I've decided to include it.

By Greg Hottinger MPH, RD, Biggest Loser Club ExpertHow many times have you seen a thin person stuffing her face with a super-sized fast food meal and thought, "I wish I could eat anything I want!" The truth is that thin person is either 1) eating a very unusual meal for her lifestyle or 2) not as healthy you think. Thin people may have high blood pressure, heart disease, or may have a low fitness level. For this reason, why not strive for more than being thin? How about being fit and healthy as well? Fit and healthy people come in many different shapes and sizes and make a wide variety of food choices. Despite their differences, fit and healthy people are remarkably similar in the way they think! Here are 10 thoughts that fit and healthy people think:

1. "This is fun." Fit people enjoy activity for the sake of the activity. It could be a night of dancing, hard fought tennis match, or hike with a good friend. But the value is intrinsic. The fact that the activity also happens to be "good for you" is secondary. There is an appreciation of effort and skill. And the activity is undertaken with gratitude, facility, and in many cases, joy. What you can do now: Find an activity that you would choose without knowing it’s good for you or something you would miss doing if you no longer could. After completing it, journal how it felt to move and why you’re grateful for the ability and opportunity.

2. "You get what you pay for." Healthy people realize that quality foods cost more than overly processed foods. They think about how the food was grown or raised and are willing to pay more for local and/or organically grown foods. They believe that good health is built from quality foods. Their mantra is "Pay now or pay later with interest (interest being in the form of sickness, medical bills, and suffering)." What you can do now: Identify a healthy food, like almonds or avocados, which you currently believe to be too expensive. Add them to your cart the next time you go shopping. Identify a splurge, like buying movie theatre candy or a specialty coffee drink, to give up to even out your food budget.

3. “This is easy.” Fit people MOVE! The thought of walking to get somewhere is not foreign or averse. Being fit means daily activities and chores are less taxing and fit people revel in being able to do these things easily. Instead of avoiding mowing the lawn, chopping wood, or raking leaves, fit people look at chores as an opportunity to lift, squat, walk, lunge, twist, pull…you get the picture! Why wait to be in a gym? What you can do now: Pick an errand or task around the house that could be a "mini-workout". As you do it, think about the similarities to some of the movements you do at the gym. What skills and strengths that you’ve built at the gym are you now using in everyday life?

4. "I’d rather throw this food away than wear it." Healthy people do not succumb to the "all you can eat", "super-size", and "2 for the price of 1" traps around food. They know that bigger portions lead to eating more. So they either don’t buy or aren’t afraid to throw it away if they do. What you can do now: The next time you buy food away from home, think about getting what you actually need versus getting the most for your money. Leave food on your plate and say to yourself "I’d rather throw this food away than wear it."

5. "I feel like a sports car." Fit people need high octane! When your workout is more than a walk in the park, you have to fuel the fire! Instead of eating as little as possible and having no "oomph" for a workout, they eat a well-portioned pre-workout meal. Instead of over-eating, they think about their strength training session or spinning class and eat foods that help them stay energized. And they get the rest that their body needs to recover from the day and be ready for tomorrow. What you can do now: Before your next workout, eat a light, well-balanced meal or snack to top off the fuel tank. Then stay well hydrated for exercise by drinking 8 - 16 oz of water 1 – 2 hours prior to exercise and 8 – 16 oz for every 20 minutes of exercise. Notice how you feel compared to when you eat a heavy meal, forget to eat altogether, or don’t drink properly.

6. "The next delicious meal is only a few hours away." A healthy person knows that the meal sitting before them is not their Last Supper. In fact, they’ve noticed that when they don’t overeat at this meal, they enjoy their next meal even more. They consider food part of the celebration, not the reason for it. What you can do now: The next time you feel tempted for that second plate of food, remind yourself that you’ll be eating again in just a few hours. Take a couple of deep breaths and focus on the sensations in your body. If you still feel a strong desire to eat more, give yourself three more bites and then put the food away.

7. "That’s the ticket!" A fit person can see the connection between being fit and doing other things she finds enjoyable. Travel, gardening, sex, going to the theater, and shopping are just a few things that are enhanced by fitness. Real life examples from clients and members include going to Disney, running a marathon, walking 30,000 steps exploring Manhattan, and hiking to Everest base camp. What you can do now: Use a backpack to carry a weight equal to what you have lost. Wear it while you go shopping, to the park, or some other fun activity this weekend. Then, still in the midst of your fun, take it off. Savor the difference and know that there is more to come!

8. "What’s my body trying to tell me?" Healthy people pay attention to their body’s signals and notice when they feel good and when their body is telling them something isn’t right. People who tune in to these signals are willing to adjust their food choices in such a way that they are working with their body and not against it. They pay close attention to their hunger and fullness signals and notice that they feel better when they stay balanced, not too hungry and not too full. What you can do now: Notice which foods make you feel good after eating them and which ones make you feel irritable, tired, or that upset your stomach.

9. "I’m hooked!" Fit people "hook” into exercise by signing up for classes, playing in sports leagues, exercising with partners, or joining clubs based on activities like hiking. What you can do now: Take a look at your local paper and look for upcoming events, group meetings, trips, or classes that are kicking off. Commit to signing up and participating in one event by the end of the month.

10. "’Tis the season." Healthy people consider the ripeness and freshness of the food they buy when shopping and ordering from a restaurant. They know that when they eat an unsatisfying meal, like wilted lettuce and unripe tomatoes, a terribly bland meal, or a processed food full of artificial ingredients, they’ll feel unsatisfied and will want to eat something else. What you can do now: Think about the fruits and vegetables that are in season right now to highlight on your shopping list. Notice how delicious these foods taste and how satisfying they are. Copyright Biggest Loser Club 2007

Day two of the new YEar

Day two of the year 2008 is halfway (or almost the whole way) over. I've been able to eat wisely and healthy. My weight this morning was at 181.6...so I'm getting close to my all time low weight. THank heavens. It's been a rough three weeks since my little binge.

We had planned to go to the gym while we were in town today..howeve, we got sidetracked and circumstances kept us from going. Sooooo, as soon as I got home, I exercised here. VERY proud of me for that!

New Years and Rainbows

The Sunday before Christmas I was riding around with my sister in law and the kids. It had just stopped raining and we saw this GORGEOUS rainbow. We could see the whole arch of the rainbow and for a bit, we actually saw a double rainbow. This rainbow stayed around FOREVER (the main biggest and darkest one). We watched it for at least 15 minutes before we got back to my parents house. This picture is one that I took while literally hanging my hand out the window and snapping the shutter while we were driving. It does not to justice to this rainbow..

SO you may be thinking, why in the world do I have a rainbow in my blog this morning? During the past week or so, I've been reflecting on the year 2007 and looking forward to the year 2008. My first response to the year 2007 was disappointment. I didn't reach my main goal, which was at the beginning of the year actually looked very promising. I started to berate myself for 'messing' up. I didn't lose the 50 pounds that I needed to lose in order to reach that goal. But slowly, I started to think...I may not have lost the 50 pounds...but I did lose about 25! That is an accomplishment. Yeah, I'd have liked it to be more...but 25 pounds is still a huge mountain....one that some people can never attain. And when I add that 25-30 pounds onto what I've already lost.....120 pounds is very well worth celebrating! I've lost 120 pounds! What a wonderful accomplishment. I've also achieved/received reconciliation with a friend that I thought was lost forever. These two things alone are enough to make me jump up and down in jubiliation! What a blessing! Just like a rainbow is a blessing.

Looking foward to the new year, I can only look at the rainbow and think of the promise and the beauty that the new year holds. Yes, I hope to reach my weight goals this year....yes, I have lots of other things that I'd like to happen. Like the rainbow, this year holds lots of promise for me!

I honestly can't wait to kick butt this year and get this weight off! I'm super determined to work myself hard, eat healthy and stay focused and motivated...keeping the willpower high and strong in order to reach this weight goal!

Reflections on my Jan. 1, 2008 goal

Ahhh my goal for Jan. 1, 2008. I was to be at 179.9 or less. This morning I was at 183.6. Nope, I don't think I'm going to make it. I will get there though...no ifs ands or buts about it! I do know that some of the weight this morning was water retention. I didnt' drink near enough water yesterday....and that really does have an effect on my weight. But...still, not the three pounds I would need to get to my goal.

I was close to making the goal...about a week ago. And while I didn't fall off the wagon, I slipped up and started eating my flex points. For me, if I eat those flex points I gain. That's just how my body seems to work. And on top of eating those extra 2-4 flex points each day, I stopped working out! EEEKK! I had grand plans each and every day to exercise...but each and every day my plans got thrown out the window.

The holidays were a great time. However, I'm very happy to be heading back into a more normal routine of living...one in which I can manage my eating and my exercise in a better fashion. :-) I spent some time planning out the weeks menu..and grocery shopping..so we should be good for the coming week with eating at home. :-) I'm focused, renewed and ready to do it!

I'm hoping to stay super focused and exercise my tail end off (literally I guess) and knock myself into the healthy weight range....relatively quickly! I'm utterly sick of paying $40 a month for my weight watchers membership...I have different uses for that money! (I could be saving it....to put towards my new house!)

December 2007 Pictures

I just downloaded a TON of pictures off of my camera and spare card. Uhhh yeah, pictures from the last two months! I was scanning through the pictures and came across this next picture. My first thought, for a split second was, "Who is this girl? ANd why is there a picture of her on my camera?" But, before I could grill Todd about this mysterious woman, I realized that it was me! ME! Todd was taking pictures in the studio when I walked in and he had me pose up by the new reel to reel and the semi-new mixing console.
The next picture is definitely not new. IN fact, it is a picture from Christmas 2005. I thought I would put this in here as a reference...to remind myself of how far I have come.
Yes, this next picture is the matching pose to the previous one.....however this next picture was taken just this week, Christmas 2007. It is definitely not the most flattering pic of me, in my baggy sweatshirt...but oh well...the difference is still drastic!
This holiday was fun, with Alan and Cindy and the kids visiting. This next picture is of Riley and Alison. Riley is 7 1/2 years old and Ali will be 5 on Feb. 1.
Of course the newcomer to the family is Alex. He was a bit shy around me at first.....but he is an absolute doll baby! He will be one year old on Feb. 1.

Christmas Week and Reflections on a New Year

I was so tickled...I actually got my weight down to 180.8 yesterday morning!!! Woo hooo! HOw spectacular is that? But yesterday evening I had a slight problem, which caused my weight to jump back to 181.6. Yesterday morning, after i weighed myself, Todd mentioned going out to breakfast at his favorite diner (in Charlestown) because he was craving pumpkin pancakes. I know that Todd has been under a good deal of stress this week...and he's been working like mad also (even with it being a holiday week), so I thought it would be nice to take him to breakfast. Off we went. I didn't order too badly. I got an order of canadian bacon and a short stack (two 4-5 inch) of pancakes. They were super yummy...and I felt no guilt at all about eating them. The problem started when I got home and was getting ready to go to work. You see, we ate breakfast at almost 10AM, I left for work at 11:30ish (I had to go to the post office and stop at the trailer before getting there). So not only was time short...but I was no where near hungry for lunch at lunch. I did think ahead and took to work with me a banana to eat as a snack mid-way through the day. I got home and Todd and I had planned to eat dinner at 7:15....doable. But, the plans got changed.....we didn't eat until about 8:30 or so. SOOOOO when I went into the kitchen to make dinner at 7:45...I was STARVING. (ok, I wasn't starving but I was quite hungry). I had a few Almonds (man, those jalapano flavored almonds are DANGEROUS......very addicting)...and a handful or two of potato chips (reduced fat ones at least). I tested the batter for the cornbread. And even though my original plan was to forego the cornbread (hello...I had pancakes for breakfast...that was more than enough carbs for one day) I ate two pieces when we finally sat down to eat. Overall, I only ate three of the 5 servings of fruit/veggies that I aim for each day. I also did not exercise yesterday (chosing to go to breakfast instead).

Overall, the week of Christmas has been nice. Alan and Cindy have been in with the kids. It's been wonderful playing with the kids and visiting with my brother and his wife. The only problem with this....I feel as if I'm burning the candle at both ends. I've been working...I've still tried to cook dinners and take care of Todd while he's working and I've spent every available moment that I possibly could up at mom and dads...with my family. Todd doesn't resent any of that time....not at all, in fact, he's sorry that he can't also spend the time up there. However, I just feel bad leaving Todd to fend for himself....especially knowing how hard he has been working this week! So, I'll be sad to see Alan and Cindy go...but I'll be happy to get back to a normal routine in my life. :-)

I've got to sit down and plan our meals out for this coming week so that I can go grocery shopping. I'm planning on grocery shopping tomorrow. :-)

This afternoon, Todd and I are going down to Frederick to bottle up the beer that he mixed up the other week. Then we are heading back up to Hagerstown...hitting the gym...and then spending the rest of the afternoon and evening with my family.

Eating today....I had oatmeal for breakfast. I've packed a butter (zero point), jelly (one point) and bread (low cal/high fiber one point) sandwich and and apple for lunch. I've also got a clemantine here at work that I didn't eat yesterday...I'll eat all that for lunch on the way to Frederick. I think mom is having a roast for dinner. I'll push for lots of extra veggies. :-) So I think I can do halfway decently with eating today.

I've been doing a lot of thinking about this past year and the year to come in regards to my weight loss progress and goals. I really do feel that this coming year will find me at my goals. I look at this past year. My focus has remained on the end results. I've had the motivation. But, I can honestly say taht there was a period where I've been on a plateau...I've struggled to lose. However, I've seen periods where I'm not exactly eating the best that I could be eating. I've 'stretched' the rules so to speak. I think in the long run it will be oh so much healthier for me because I've learned to manage and I've been incorporating this lifestyle into my everyday routine. Even on days where I feel I've done poorly, I find that I've only eaten a few points over my daily allotment. (for example...yesterday, even with the almonds, the chips and the pancakes..I was only 3 points over my daily goal..that's not too bad!). That is a huge achievment in itself.

For the new year, I definitely want to get to my goal. At the very least, I want to have reached my weight watchers goal and the corresponding lifetime status. In fact, my goal is to get rid of the 15 pounds needed to reach that by March! (or earlier if possible!). I'm honestly tired of sinking $40 into weight watchers each month....so even though I'm not goign to 'crash' diet or anything.....my plan is to really focus....eat right...exercise religiously and try to get these 15 or so pounds off ASAP. Then I'll focus on reaching my own personal goals. (The 15 will put me within the healthy weight range for my height...which is what weight watchers requires).

For Christmas Todd got me a gift certificate to Victoria's Secret. I shouldn't have been surprised. Every time we go through the mall, he makes a comment about how I can probably fit into their normal sized stuff now...and that how I can shop there. He's even asked me why I haven't. I will definitely be shopping there now....I've got a nice sized gift certificate to do so. And honestly I probably needed the kick in the butt to actually do it. You see, the gift certificate has forced me to really think about why I've ignored the store. I am still having a very big problem thinking of myself in terms of anything other than being fat. I dont' feel as if I'm "worthy" of going into the store. I know I shouldn't feel that way...but that's the way it is. I've always been one to not do things because I dont' want to look ridiculous as a 'fat girl' doing something that only a thin girl should do. I shouldn't even give it another thought, I know. I know it's going to be a long process for my mind to really wrap itself around the fact that I'm no longer obese.

Christmas Report

Ok, I ate healthy on Christmas day...I went for my jog....a pretty long jog...and the scales still showed me up! I drank a ton also! Oh well...today I'm back down to 181.2....so all is not lost. :-)

Honestly, with all the running around that I"ve done this week, I'm not surprised that my weight has fluctuated a bit this week. I'm running back and forth between work, home and my parents...trying to make everyone happy and to see everyone and get everything done. I'm ready to take a break and relax. (hopefully tomorrow night will be a night of that for me).

I have a little less than a week to get myself under the 180 mark and down into the 170's. At 181.2...I think I can do it! :-) Diligence...that's what it requires!

I took off from exercise today...but I've got to make sure that I dont' skip it tomorrow!!!!!

Christmas Eve

So far, I'm proud to say that I've been doing splendidly with my eating! My weight this morning was at 181.2. Definitely not my lowest...but so much better than my post binge weight! I've been working at it and really doing my best. In fact, mom had the hamburgers LAST night. I stayed for dinner....She served, cheeseburgers, macaroni and cheese (homemade) and chips. Uhhh yeah......that was healthy! I had green beans, a clementine, grapes and cherries....and a small spoonful (probably less than 1/4 cup) macaroni and cheese. I was very proud of myself! I also actually left mom and dad's house...meaning I left the kids and family that I see so rarely and actually went to the gym! I just did cardio...but I got it in! :-)

I'm crossing my fingers...hoping...and most of all praying that I can continue being so strong this week! I so want to make my 'new' New Years goal! (being in the 170's) At 181.2...and having a week left...It is possible. Yeah, I'd like to meet my original goal...which was 175....and with prayer it is possible...but I'll be happy with the 170 mark being met!

Saturday morning Musings

Last night as I drove to town I was so utterly excited! I was going to see my brothers family! I knew I woudln't be there too long. Afterall, I didn't get off work until 6:15.....then a 45 minute drive to town. I knew that the kids would be going to bed around 8PM.....and I knew that I had to wake up early in the AM to exercise. I enjoyed the time with the kids..and left mom and dad's at around 9:30 pm. That got me home at ten. After checking my mail, I went to the bedroom and read in bed until Todd was done working...I fell asleep shortly thereafter.

Mom...bless her heart, made whole wheat pasta for me to eat last night! AND, she had a small plate out on the table for me...so I couldn't super load my plate with food. AND this morning, thank goodness, I was down to 182.6. That is still not as low as I was...which was 179.4. BUT, it's a heck of a lot better then my weight AFTER my binge...which was 186.8. So it's coming back down!

Meanwhile, after my little week long exercise rebellion, I'm back at the exercise all hot and heavy...and man are my legs ever sore. One week off and my legs are sore???? That doesn't seem right...but who am I to argue with the aches and pains! I did however still get up and workout this morning. I did the first two cardio segments of one of the "Firm" dvd's that I have...and then I went into one of the aussie fit workout dvd's that I got at the dollar store. It was rough pushing through..especially at first...but I perservered. :-) Speaking of my dollar workout dvd's. About a year ago, I bought 4 exercise dvd's a the dollar tree. I put them in and just didn't like them. Well, a few weeks ago, I was scrambling for something new...and I decided to put one in. I actually like it. I think my fitness level has changed...making the difference in my perception of the dvd. I've done two of the four (a couple times each..) and they work me out hard. Although, today I was tired and I was having GREAT difficulty wiht the footwork! My feet were going in the wrong direction....I kept kicking myself.....I actually stepped on my own foot. Oh my...it was a sad sad sight!

So, I get off work at noon today. I am going straight up to be with my family. I know from past experience that fruits and veggies are present...but on the lunch table will also be chips and dip and cookies and cakes. SOOOOOOOOOOOOO, I packed my own lunch. I'll eat it in the car on the way up the road. It's nothing fancy...a 'light' sandwich (smart beat butter...zero points, one teaspoon of homemade jelly...one point, and two slices of low cal/high fiber bread....one point), grapes and an apple. So four points...but at least it will include 2 of my five fruits/veggies servings! I'm hoping that we run around a little bit today...I used the last bit of my oatmeal today....whatever will I do without my oatmeal???? I eat it probably 6 days a week...or more!

Mom is having hamburgers for dinner tonight (or so she was planning). So, I'm going to head home at around 6/6:30.....I'll get home and make dinner....Todd gets off work at 8PM....so we will eat then. I'm making sweet and spicy chicken (it's not so spicy..it's more sweet) and scalloped potatoes....one of our favorite meals. I think I'm also goign to make a big pot of chili....that way I can just heat it up quickly after church tomorrow. If I have enough time between church and Todd having to start work, I'll make some corn bread. I don't know what time Todd gets off work on Sunday...so that will determine what the supper plans are!

I may actually make my new January 1 goal...which is to be back in the 170's. (that was actually my back up goal anyway.) I don't think I'll exactly make my 175 goal...that would be a miracle. I am praying, so it's not out of the picture...but I'm not going to be disapointed if I don't make it! :-)

Beaver sighting

Today todd and I went for a walk on the canal. It was so cool. As we were walking, we heard a loud noise behind us. We turned....and looked into the water, because the last noise we heard was a loud splash. We were so shocked and awed to see a nice sized beaver swimming along side us in the water. We walked along the towpath....watching this beaver. The beaver started to swim erratically....and then ducked under the water. We were looking for him..and out of the corner of my eye I saw the beaver up river. I quickly jogged up and followed him some more. He came up on the land and tried to hide. We saw him hiding..looked at him and then turned around and walked back the way we came. It was truely a blessing to see.

On the way home I decided to clock how far I jogged the other day. I jiggity jogged 2.4 miles. That's not bad for a recovering fatty! :-)

So far today, eating has been going well. I've got 16 points left...and I'll use one of those for my snack of grapes. That will leave me 15 points.......and I know that mom is having spaghetti tonight for dinner. YUM! I know it won't be whole wheat pasta...like I make at home...but I'll still eat it...just watching my portion size!

Plans for the holidays.

My brother and his family are in for the holidays. I know I'll be eating more with them...and running quite a bit more than I normally do. That is a recipe for weight gain. Just the eating with them can be bad as I'll be subject to eat whatever is there. However, I've determined that I will NOT gain...and in fact that I will lose over this holiday (ok, at least lose what I so easily gained last week!) Therefore, I've come up with a plan. Here is the plan. As of right now, it is the plan in it's entirety. However, of course as time changes and progresses I may add to the plan. :-)

Eating, Food and Caloric Intake Plan

Plain and simple, I'm going to be careful. I'm going to be religious about what I eat. I talked to mom this morning and she told me what we are having for dinner tomorrow night. I'm ok with that. On Saturday night I could eat it..however what she is having is not a favorite of mine..and I don't want to ante up the points to eat it. So, I'm going to leave there when they sit down to eat...and I'll go home and make Todd and I a healthier dinner option. :-) (Todd works until like 7 or 8PM...so it will work out perfectly). I was talking to mom about the eating stuff this morning and asked about Christmas dinner. She has always been very willing to work with me to make sure that there are healthy options for me. She asked me what I wanted....I gave her a few options of foods that I could eat without worrying about. So I know I'll have some of those there. I also expressed my desire to not have a full sized plate at the dinner table for the Christmas meal. I want to have a smaller plate. That way I will not be so tempted to fill it up to the brim. Well, let me rephrase that. I may be tempted to fill it up to the brim...but if I do, it won't be with as much food. PLUS, I'll be tricking my mind to think that i'm eating a heck of a lot of food. On Monday, Christmas eve, I haven't formulated a plan....I'll be off work that day...so I'm not sure what will happen. But on Wednesday and Thursday I work in the morning...until 12. My plan as of right now is to continue to pack my lunch...I'll either eat it on the way up to town...or eat it when I get there. Yes, I know that mom would be more than glad to feed me. However, I don't need to eat the chips and the dip that they will have out on the table...nor the cheese and heavy fatty lunch meats. So I'll be better off on my own. Plus that will give me a little more wiggle room in order to actually enjoy dinner with the family.

Exercise and Activity

Here is the blow by blow plan for the next half week or so.

Friday- there are two different plans for Friday..depending on how my day shapes up. The original plan was for me to run some stuff up to mom's house on Friday morning. I was going to go to the gym and then drop that stuff off....then come home to go to work by noon. I was also going to make a quick stop at the local drum shop in order to pick up something for the business. HOWEVER, with bubby and Cindy coming in tomorrow...I'll be going up tomorrow night for sure. SOOOO, if Todd runs up to Drums on Sale today, then I will not go up to town until tomorrow night. If I still have to go to Drums on Sale tomorrow morning, then I will continue with the original plan. SOOOOO Friday's workout is either at the gym....or an hour at home...either jogging outside or with a dvd.

Saturday- I work Saturday morning at 7:45. It would be too early to do anything outside...so I will awaken my hour early and workout in the living room with a dvd.

Sunday- Our church isn't until 10:30. I will therefore have time to get myself up and exercise. The tenative plan right now is to get my butt outside and jog for a bit. (weather permitting)...if not, either the exercise bike or a dvd.

Monday- The gym is open from 8AM until 4 PM. I will be visiting the gym on Monday!

Tuesday-Christmas day- My plan for the moment is to wake up....go up to mom and dad's house to open presents and then to go for a jog up at mom and dad's house between presents and the meal. Once again, this is a weather permitting deal. If I have to (if the weather looks miserable) I may have to wake up super duper early and exercise before I leave home. I've also talked to Todd and we are planning on going for a long walk after we eat our Christmas meal.

Wednesday and Thursday- I work from 7:45 until noon each day. Therefore, if I wake up an hour early I should be all exercised up by the time I 'start' my day. That should work well.

Friday- I'll be back to working either 10-6 or 12-6 (I can't remember right now)....so I'll do something in the morning.....basically back to a 'normal' routine. I'm assuming that Alan and Cindy will be leaving to go home probably Friday.

So, there you have it...my plan to be healthy this coming week! I'm determined to get through this week without having the scales go up! I want them to go DOWN...and they will!

I talked to mom this morning, she said that Cindy called yesterday to talk about when they are coming. They are packing their car tonight...and will leave early tomorrow morning. She said at 4AM...so that the kids will sleep for a good portion of the trip out here. Of course Riley was telling 'grandma' that they should actually leave at 3AM to 'make the trip faster". Of course if you are asleep for one extra hour, I guess it would be faster. tee hee hee

I'm so ready for christmas. Last night I wrapped the last minute things (namely the gift to mom from dad...I actually got it about a week or so ago) and the cat treats. I put together a little bag (little as in the size of a bag from Bath and Body Works...the smaller size)...in it is the few small gifts that I wrapped yesterday, the replacement outfit for Alex (becuase I bought a 12 month size and apparently that may be too small), and few other odds and ends...stuff like batteries for toys that need them...etc etc etc. So that is ready. The gifts are already stored up in Hagerstown at mammals house...so they just need to be carried across the street to mom and dad's new house. Woo hoooo!

Tonight I have to decortate some cookies...for the cookie bouquets that I'm making. I should be ok with the eating of cookies. I shouldn't have any problems resisting tonight. Regardless...I'll probably pop some gum into my mouth while I work....so I'm not tempted to 'taste test' anything! I've found that I do it almost sub-conciously! I also want to put in a batch of bread Todd works late tonight..so I'll be on my own for dinner. Therefore my dinner will be pretty light. That's good! I'm so determined to get this weight gain gone! I'm not sure what exactly I'll have for dinner. Lately I've been craving peanut butter and jelly sandwiches....so there is a pretty darn good chance that a pb&j will be on the menu tonight. Cooked carrots??? Hmmm......well...time will tell what I have for dinner tonight. :-)

Made it to the gym today. It felt really good to work out there. I find that a fair amount of the time I tend to workout more vigorously when I'm at the gym. Go figure. I guess my mental thoughts are more focused in the gym...and I'm not thinking about breakfast that I just ate/or will soon eat. OR the christmas tree that is twinkling at me. Or whatever.... who knows why!

I did snitch a little bit of cookie dough. However, I chewed my gum through 95% of the cookie making time. I took the gum out when I was ready to sample the cookie dough and I didn't sample the cookie dough until I only had my sample left out of the whole batch! Tomorrow night I'll decorate my cookies and make my bouquets and then on Friday morning I"ll take them up to mom's house. I don't know if Todd can go up with me on Friday morning. BUT, I'm thinking of trying to make it to the gym on Friday morning! I also checked..the gym is open on Christmas Eve from 8AM to 4 PM. So we are going to try to make it to the gym on Christmas Eve.

I've already talked to Todd....after Christmas Dinner when things are boring around the house...I asked him if we could take our gloves/hats and warm clothes and go for a nice long walk. Up near mom's house is actually a neat place to walk in town. Lots of grand old houses...and they are usually decorated really nicely! SOOOOO at least I'll get some activity in! I'm also going to try to remember to eat off of a small plate! I think I"ll eat less if I use a small plate versus a mammoth hoggish big plate. I'm hoping that that works for me!

Holiday plans and new years goals

The good ol' weight is still up there. I've decided to go to my meeting tonight. HOWEVER, I'm not going to weigh in. That way in the back of my mind I still have this 5 pound deficit that I need to face. If I go ahead and face the music..then I'll get the five pound deficit over with...and then if I only lose 2 pounds over the next few...I'll be like, "woo hooo, I lost two pounds"..when in reality, I've gained 3 over the time period. BUT, now, if I only lose two...I'll have to come back and face the scales...and I'll be super motivated because I won't want to come back and say "I've gained three pounds." Yeah, it's the same...but I'm trying to play a psychological game with myself. I'm setting out a challenge! :-) We'll see how it works. The other thing.....my meetings are on Tuesdays. It is difficult for me to get to any other meetings...with my work schedule...and the fact that the meetings are about 15 -20 minutes away from my house. So with christmas being on Tuesday...and new years also...that puts me at a chance of not making it to a meeting until jan. 8th. And that is a pretty likely chance...since Alan, Cindy and the kids will be in for the holidays. SOOOOO...that actually gives me three weeks to eradicate this 5 pounds. I know that I most likely won't be making my 175 pound goal....uhh yeah, a miracle could occur...but it's not likely. So I'm shooting to at least be back into the 170's by New Years.....or by that 1-8-08 weigh in at the lastest! So that is my plan! :-)

Wow...it's hard to believe that Christmas is just one week away!!!!! Where has time gone! And 2008 is just two weeks from arrival!!! Woah!!!!

This year has been a particularly difficult year for weight loss. It seems as if I've taken two steps forward...two steps back! Very frustrating! BUT, I guess when I look at it...I lost about 25-30 pounds. If I can do that again in 2008...then I'll be at or very near my goal! So that's not too bad. Yeah, I'd like to make my goal by my anniversary...which would be slightly less than 2 pounds per week. Realistically I'm going to shoot for the beginning of June.....which makes my weekly pounds that I need to lose to be about 1.25 pounds! That is actually doable...even with a bad week here and there! To do it by my birthday...next December...I hav to lose .59 pounds a week! So there you have it...my hopeful goal (be at goal by my anniversary), my realistical goal..(be at goal by June 1st) and my "I'll kick myself if I don't make this goal" (be at my goal by my birthday!) Conversally speaking....I have to lose .74 pounds a week to be at my goal by Julies wedding.

Speaking of my goal. I don't know if that is a plausible goal for me. I've chosen 150 pounds. However, I'm very cognizant of the fact that 150 may not be a good number for me. I could be so lucky to get to 160 pounds and find out that 160 is the perfect weight for me.....or I could be very unlucky and find out that 150 is still a little high for my body type.....so that goal is kinda subject to change......

Size wise...I think my goal is about an 8-10. But that is all guess work...I have no clue!!!!!

Monday Morning

I had that alarm set for an hour early. I swear I did! In fact, I even heard it go off! Todd actually shot out of the bed and sat up straight and tall.....I simply nestled further into the blankets. I lay there all toasty warm under the blankets and I debated. Should I leave the comfort of my bed to go exercise....or should I stay in bed for an extra hour. Todd had by this point laid back down into the bed and had gathered me close in an embrace. Yeah, my fate was sealed! No morning exercise for me. The crazy part...I really didn't even get any extra sleep. I laid in bed, enjoying my husbands arms holding me tight, I prayed and I relaxed. It was a good hour. (ok, so it ended up being really good toward the end of that hour when Todd woke up...tee hee hee) However, I didn't do my morning exercise routine! I told myself that I would definitely do something active in between Todd's two sessions.....he works until 3PM and then works again at like 7PM. So there definitely is time in there to get a workout in. Todd mentioned going to the gym in that stretch...however, with eating and helping him get his lesson ready for the thing he is doing tomorrow...we don't have the time. Not problem...I can just as easily exercise at home......it's just a thing of actually doing it!

I weighed roughly the same this morning.....about .2 pounds higher...but that was before any 'elmination'. (how gross to actually think about that in relation to my weight!)

My weight was down to 183.4 this morning. I have tried to be careful what I've eaten today. I did exercise this morning. However, just a bit ago, I saw a chocolate chovered marshmallow santa that I was given on Friday at our party...and I ate it! I thought about it...and almost went to the kitchen to chuck it into the garbage before even opening it. But then I opened it...smelled it and promised myself one little bite. Yeah right...the whole thing went down the hatch! What's wrong with me?????

My manager at work is a tiny little thing. She has utterly no concept of what I'm going through to get my weight under control. She was so tickled to see me eating bad stuff. In a way it is funny....but Janet put it the best way. Janet made this comment to me, she said, "We should all be ashamed, because we encouraged you to do something that we knew was something that was utterly wrong for you". I honestly think that my manager honestly doesn't get it.....she eats junk food like it's going out of style and doesn't gain a pound! And it just hit me...all except for the other part timer...the others either struggle or have struggled with weight issues.....to them, watching me take a fall made them feel better about themselves....because they eat poorly every day. Someone even made the comment on the party day about my eating that "You are human". Just becuase I chose to eat healthy...I'm not human???? Like I said, only one person really truly seemed to understand. And that was only after the fact. (ok...so it's also my favorite co-worker). I"m not saying that these people made me eat. I'm the only one that can make me eat. However, they encouraged and egged me on. Is it because for me to succeed makes them feel more of a failure?

The day was one big ball of reminders of how miserable I was as a 'big' girl. I felt yucky physically, emotionally, mentally...the whole nine yards. When I was big, I had a problem with my stomach hanging over my pants and rubbing on the button. It caused a sore....and often I had to wear a big band-aid over my stomach to keep this from happening.....and once it did happen to keep it from a) bleeding everywhere and b.) from hurting from the continual rubbing. This was so embarrassing....my husband made light of it and it didn't bother him...but I was so ashamed, I didn't tell many people. Even writing it now hurts and causes tears. Well.....thankfully this 'phenomenon' disappeared as I lost weight....probably about 50 pounds ago or so. Well, I was wearing a pair of pants that fitted nicely on Friday...and whadya know...I came home and when I was taking off my pants realized that I had developed one of these sores! Now come on......I didn't gain that much weight? But...I can't deny it....I have the sore to prove it. So one more 'reminder' of how my current lifestyle and my previous lifestyle have really changed!

You know, one of the major things that I marvel about. When I was big...I invested in 'bath sheets' These are humongous towels.....like double or triple the size of a regular bath towel. Almost every day when I shower I stand in awe when I realize that I can wrap a 'normal' bath towel around myself. You see....at my highest, even the bath sheets didn't fit around me. Yes, I still love to use the bath sheets.....but they wrap almost double around me!

I need to focus on my goals! I know that staying focused after falling off the wagon is so difficult for a week or so......I've got to double up my efforts to help me get past that difficult period! And somehow do it during the Christmas holiday! I'll be needing to do a heap of praying!!!!

Binge

Wow....I ate and ate yesterday. I haven't eaten like that in ages! Probably literally at least two years! When I last ate like that, it was a normal occurance. I know that after I started losing weight that I all of a sudden noticed that I wasn't feeling sick and slugish anymore. Well, after eating with no control, I have figured out that it wasn't just my weight....it was the kind of food and the amount of food that I was eating on a daily basis. Yes, I felt physically tired, run down, slugish and downright ill after eating like that! I told Todd that while I'm disgusted at what I did, on a personaly basis and disgusted at the weight that I've gained this week (I won't really have a true idea until the ick has moved on), I think I may have needed this eating binge to really see how my body feels when it's been shoved full of stuff like that! Now that I see...I don't ever want to go back to the feeling again!

This morning, as much as I wanted to ignore it, I got myself out of bed and exercised. I had a cup of yogurt for breakfast....I'll eat probably fruit and veggies for lunch. :-) Tonight for dinner we are having fiesta turkey skillet....it's a pretty good meal. Healthy foods today!

I am also going to the grocery store today. Why...considering we are supposed to get a storm tonight......the stores will be super croweded with everyone buying stuff like mad because of the storm! Crazy...they buy like they will be snowed in for a month of Sundays! But, my refridge is bare. That's because we had vacation and we ate out every meal....that will be fixed by tonight though.

OUCH

I don't know what to say. Last night I caved and made the pumpkin cookies that I've been really craving. I ate...ohhh more than a dozen. Then today at work was our holiday luncheon/party. Oh yeah, I've eaten pretty much constantly since I've come to work. Oh yeah, my stomach is hurting from the amount of bad food I've eaten! I am really scared to step on the scales....the damage has to be great. Maybe I should just ignore the scales for a few days...eat right and then step on. Hmmmmm I can't even talk now...I'm so un healthy feeling! The only good thing...I haven't eaten like this in YEARS and I used to eat like this constantly!!!!

Birthday vacation

Sunday morning I woke up and weighed in at 179.2 pounds!!!

It's been a busy few days. On Sunday Todd and I went up to Hershey PA. We had tickets to a hockey game. We ate lunch in Carlisle on the way up. We went to this little diner...it had pretty good food. When we got to hershey we roamed around a bit. I bought a new set of cookware for my kitchen. I bought Kitchen Aid. I love them and can't wait until I actually get to use them. We went through The chocolate world....I hadn't been through that in ages...so that was fun. The Hockey game was really neat to see. Todd hadn't ever been to a hockey game....I'd been to a few....and this onewas a fun as I remembered the other ones to be! On the way home, we at dinner at The Cracker Barrel. Nothing special or fancy...but I know what I can eat there that is still relativly healthy! I woke up the next morning...and weighed in at 179.6....not bad...we ate late and I did have a pretzel at the hockey game!

On Monday, my actual birthday,we stayed home during the day and got some projects donearound the house. We worked on the kitchen drain....it has been freezing in really cold weather (not cool at all). I got a butload of stuff over to our storage area. I cleaned out the closet really good. I cleaned the kitchen from top to bottom and the bathroom! We went out to supper and on the way home rented two movies. We watched sicko that night. I woke up on Tuesday and knew that I would be up on the scales....I was thirsty...at tell tale sign that I was already dehydrated. Yeppers....I was at 180.2. DARN (Could it also be because the is almost here???)

Today...Tuesday, we ran around all day. We had meetings to attend, we had some shopping to do, we volunteered athte soup kithen.....we did make it to the gym. I ate horribly! I didn't do to badly at lunch. I had soup and salad. BUT, I knew going into this little vacation time that I wanted pizza at some point. And not the pizza that is halfway healthy that I can get at home...but Pizza Hut pizza. We used to eat Pizza Hut pizza at LEAST once a week. The last i'd had it was probably 3 months agoo.....at least! Well, I splurged tonight! It was soooooooo good! But, who knows what the scales will say tomorrow! I'm tempted to simply now weigh myself until Saturday or Sunday......we'll see how i feel tomorrow morning!

Something wild....I FINALLY got to pick up my ring today and have it fit correctly! I went from an eight and a half to a five and a half!!!! CRAZY!!! 3 complete ring sizes different1 What a nutty thing! And yes, I'm staring at my ring like I did when I first got it....I haven't worn the ring in about a year because it hasnt fit! It's been way too lose!!!! :-)

Wooo hooo, my weight was at 180.2 this morning!!!! I'm sooo close to being in the 170's (at least on my home scales!) Wow, it just hit me.....I can clearly and vividly remember being in the 270's! I just figured it up. I've lost 41% of my body weight in the last few years. 41%!!!! FORTY ONE PERCENT! That just blows my pea pickin' mind! That makes me 5.2 pounds away from my new years goal of 175! It will still be tight, but I'm gonna try my hardest to make it! Probably one of the most difficult stretch for me is coming up this week. Todd and I are off for 4 days. Which means we'll be mosying around and eating out a lot. I can manage eating out....but it's more difficult eating out becuase I have to watch portion sizes and all that! AND doubly more difficult when we eat like every meal out. Even though it's my birthday vacation, I'm going to still try to eat more at home for this stretch. That and water drinking.....when I'm not at work, I tend to 'forget' to drink my water. I have to be diligent about it!!!

I woke up today and I just didn't want to get my tush out of bed! The thought of exercising about made me cry! I laid in bed for about 15 minutes. I had turned the light on...and then snuggled close to Todd. After about the third time of him asking me if I was awake, I finally drug myself out of the bed. Yes, I did exercise! Not that I wanted to! Not that I didn't hate every minute of it! Yes, I felt incredibly sluggish the whole time. No, it didn't make me feel more awake and energized like it usually does. BUT, I did it.....only a 20 minute routine...but I at least did something!

Dinner tonight is Chicken and Dumplins. I'll be working in the kitchen for a while...because that is a 'long prep time' dinner. I have some banana's that are getting a tad bit old...so I'll probably make banana muffins also. WITH nuts...so I'm not super tempted to eat them...and I'll freeze a good number of them so that they can be utilized better. If I make a whole slew of them...they go bad before todd can eat the whole batch...OR he eats and eats and eats them because he knows that they are going to go bad...so he has to gobble them up.....not good either way. But, if I bake them and freeze them in decent size servings..he can pull them out when he needs them and eat a few. Then the next time he's hungry for them he can pull some more out. It works much better that way. ALSO, he doesn't get sick of the same old same old if I do it this way. He can take a break from eating them when he wants. :-)

Todd's freight shipment didn't arrive yesterday like it was supposed to. We will need to find out on Monday when it is coming...that may put a damper on my birthday week plans. Oh well.....at least we don't have hotel reservations or something that we would lose the money on because we couldn't go!

FRIDAY!

Well...only 5 hours or work today and 4 hours tomorrow morning and Iwill have arrived at my mini vacation! I'm tickled! I need to have a little break! We are kinda playing this vacation time by ear. We have tickets to a hockey game. (I'm super excited about that as I love hockey!). But other than that, our plans are up in the air! Kinda whatever the mood strikes us to do!

I got the call yesterday that my jewelry was done. SO I beat a path to town last night to get them picked up. ARRGGH they were not sized correctly...they are BIG...big as in almost ready to fall off my fingers big. I was sooo excited to actualy have my rings the right size and to be able to wear them comfortably without them flopping all around. YEAH RIGHT! The lady finally told me that they would make it right for me...but they wanted me to wear the rings for the weekend. Ok...not sure what difference that will make. Yeah, I know my hands were a bit colder when I was there...HOWEVER, even with cold hands the ring should not be so loose as to be in danger of falling off!!!!! SOOOO I'm going to drop it off on Sunday. SHe told me that they would be able to resize it on Tuesday. That way I can pick it up on Tuesday night after Todd and I are finished volunteering at the soup kitchen. Tuesday is the only day that we are definitely not doing anything 'vacationy'. Todd has his board meeting at lunch time. I have to make it to one of my meetings at some point in the day. And at 4 or 4:30...we are going to volunteer at the soup kitchen. So that pretty much does up that day. I'm thinking that we will probably go to the gym between his board meeting (he'll eat lunch there...and I"ll go out with my mom) and volunteering at the soup kitchen. We'll probably go out to eat for dinner afterwards.

OK......this morning I was holding at 181.4. I'm pretty tickled with that......especially since my system seems to be a bit backed up again. (yes...sorry to those reading this if that was TMI). And the system being backed up does effect the weight in a negative way!

At that weight, I have 6.4 pounds to lose to make it to my New Years goal of being 175!!!!!! I may make this goal!!! Honestly, I haven't made many of the timed goals that I've set. Yeah, I've made all the weight goals....just not in the timeframe that I set aside for myself.....this one will be CLOSE as long as I stay diligent through the holidays...and especially through our four days off!

~~SNOW~~

The results of my Tuesday night weigh in...... 182.8 pounds. That put me at a 2.6 loss for last week. I'm so utterly proud of that loss! What an amazing loss to have when we were at parties...and I did all that baking! Actually Wednesday morning I weighed in at 181.4 pounds! I couldn't believe it. I forgot to weigh in this morning...so I'm not sure what's up today.

Yesterday morning I woke up and laid in bed for a while. I knew that I had to take my rings in to have their yearly check up. So I mentally put that on my to do list. All of a sudden, I decided that I'd waited long enough to have my rings sized! It's been a year since I wore my engagment ring and the wrap that Todd got me to go with it. A year...actually more than a year! I want to wear my rings! SOOOO...I went ahead and took them in. Had them checked and I left them there to be sized and to be soldered together into one ring! I'm so excited. They said that the work should be done by Thursday evening! SOOO I'm hoping to be able to go in tomorrow morning to pick them up! :-) Now I'm hoping that this last 30 pounds that I need to lose won't make that much of a difference in my ring size! Otherwise i'll have paid for the sizing in vain!

We got snow yesterday! Woo hooo! It made driving a bit sketchy...but it sure was pretty! I shovelled a bit yesterday and I went out today and finished up the shovelling and cleaned off the cars! I was pretty busy this morning/active wise. That's good. Tonight Todd works, so it will be a 'quiet' night for me. I'll probably work on my scrapbook some more! I'm having a lot of fun working on my scrapping. It is so much more fun when I don't have to worry about getting everything put away and the area cleaned up! Yeah, when I'm done I don't leave stuff just scattered here and there...but I don't have to pack up the whole shebang! I'm actually almost caught up with my last years worth of stuff! Does this mean that I can go back to all the stored stuff from years gone by (college even...eii yii yii) and get that stuff scrapped?????

This morning my weight was sitting at 183.4. Not my lowest. But, that should be a maintain or somewhere in the vacinity of a maintain. Yes, I have my goal to be 175 by New Years. But, realistically speaking, if I can make it through this rough birthday/holiday month with a maintain, I'll be satisfied. HOWEVER, I got to work at around 10Am. Shortly thereafter, I started to notice that every half hour or so I'd have to run to the bathroom. What's up with this. I usually only have problems 'holding' my water when I'm dehydrated. The day following a 'low drink' day I usually have to run to the bathroom constantly. I didn't have a low water consumption day yesterday...so why is my water running straight through me. Could I still have been somewhat dehyrdated for whatever reason???? I'm crossing my fingers...because with me drinking today.....and the constant trips to the bathroom to get rid of it...could mean a lower weight on the scales tonight! Dare I dream????

Nuggets of information from my recent read!

I feel as if I chose my foods wisely yesterday. We went to a church party last night.....and yes, I did eat a bit there. We ate late though...at roughly 9PM. So, this morning, when I was going about my normal routine, I was getting ready to step onto the scales and decided not to. My reasoning. Number one, I ate late last night. Number two, lets just say that elmination hadn't occured yet! Nuff said!

I just finished a book called Mindless Eating, by Brian Wansink, PH.D. I found the book to be fascinating. It talked in depth about how certain things in our surroundings cause us to be unaware of our food choices, portions, and perceptions. Quite interesting for me, as I'm someone that is working to conquer my food addiction! So, here are some more little nuggets from the book.

If a person believs that a food is healthy, the food has what can be reffered to as a "health halo" where we imbibe in that food becuase it is "healthy". The problem is..this healthy halo frequently causes us to eat something, or more than we would normally eat. In essence, if we eat more of something because of the health halo, then the food is no longer good. I've seen people chose a healthy option of food, lets say the 25% less fat oreos. But they eat 4 instead of one...because it's 25% less which to them equates to being able to eat 3 extra!

The second nugget of information is the ice water versus room temperature water. I'll just do a direct quote on this one versus paraphrasing. "Interestingly, if you load that drink (32 ounces) with ice, you'll actually burn off a few of those calories. Since your body has to use energy to heat up an iced beverage, you actually burn about one calorie for every ice cold ounce you drink. So that 32 ounce drink will take you about 32 ounces to warm up in your body.

The third thing is the types of eaters out there. The first is the meal stuffer. This person doesn't eat badly any other time...but during meals they eat to excess. The second is the Snack Grazer...this person eats anytime food is available. The third is The party Binger. This person eats mostly and heavily at high distraction events. The fourth is the restaurant indulger. This person eats dinner out a LOT! The fifth is the desktop diner or dashboard diner...they are always eating on the run...multi tasking.

I can see myself mainly as a meal stuffer and also a bit of a restaurant indulger! Looks to me like the tips that he gave for these two tips of eaters are things I'm already doing....EXCEPT for the half plate thing...half the plate is filled with veggies and the other half is proten and starch. The other thing that I don't religiously do is to use a smaller plate!!! I'm goign to try to use the smaller plate at Christmas!!!

LOW DAYS ARE HERE AGAIN!

I was nervous. Yesterday afternoon, I kinda lost control for a few short moments. I had three....or was it four (hmmmm, I can't remember, it's all a blur) cookies! YIKES! I so wanted to throw in the towel and eat at will last night. HOWEVER, I didn't. I prayed for wisdom and strength to eat conciously. I chose carefully! This morning I stepped on the scales. 182.4! That is my lowest weight thus far!!!! WOO HOOO! It really brings home how easily it is to throw in the towel when all is not truely lost!!!!!!!

I'm once again praying for wisdom and strength in my eating today! Another function tonight...with desserts and yummy things! I've already exercised...and Todd and I are running around all day today...so at least I won't be immobile!

Happy December

The cookie making last night went fairly well. I took a small amount of raw cookie dough....probably less than or equal to one cookie and I ate one completed/baked cookie. The rest of the time I chewed gum. Todd did ask for popcorn when I was done baking...so I did make that and I had a small bowl. (the problem with that...he likes parasean cheese on his). So this morning I stepped on the scale...up one pound. WHAT??? I actually HAD the points for the cookies......I had the points for the popcorn...WHAT'S up with that????? Well, I did wake up thirsty, and as I realized/wrote about last week....by the time you are thirsty you are already dehydrated. Last week I was up a pound the morning I woke up thirsty. ALSO, I had not...well.....eliminated my waste before my weigh in. That I know can also affect it by at least a pound (from my experience). SOOO in light of those two things....I think being a pound up isn't all that bad!!!!

I plan on eating tonight at the party. I think it was last years Christmas party (the same people) that I ate before I went to the party and then didn't eat there. I'm planning on eating lightly for lunch...so that I can have a taste of the good stuff tonight. After I've had a HEALTHY portion. (not healthy as in a large portion...but healthy as in healthy portions and options) I am going to pop the gum into my mouth and chew chew chew my way into good health!

The last day of November

I'm getting ready to usher in the month of December. I'm sitting here looking at my computer screen and I can see the sticky note that I put on the edge of the monitor at the beginning of the month. I was 187 pounds and I had a goal of 175 pounds to reach by January first. As of this morning I was at 183.6. That means I have a little more than 7 pounds to lose by the end of the year....one month. 31 days (ok, 32 if I include today.) That's a lot of pounds. We are talking of a consistant 2 pounds a week. I could do it! Will it be difficult...VERY!

I had to run to the store to buy cat liter yesterday morning. I bought three packs of gum! I plan on chewing gum while I bake tonight. I'm baking for two dessert trays that I am taking to two different christmas functions/parties. I hope that will keep me from eating the dough uncontrollably! I know that I'll probably end up eating a bite of each dough. I'm honest enough with myself to know that it will happen. SOOOO I've planned low points meals for today to compensate for any cookie dough I may end up eating. Hopefully the gum will work 100 percent though! :-)

As for the parties. Tomorrow night will be a full meal....so that one will be rough as they almost NEVER have healthy things at their parties/meals. Not to mention that the food is there to nibble on ALL night! Sunday night is just refreshments. I think I may be able to manage that one better!

On to better subjects. My weight was back to 183.6 this morning! I'm almost back to my lowest ever weight...which was 182.8.