Enough is enough

I’ve had enough.  I know I need to take time to heal.   I know that my body isn’t back to normal.  I know that my injuries are still hanging around.  But enough is enough. It’s time for action, not the time for dreaming!

What am I talking about?   I am talking about saying that it’s time to stop wallowing in pain and start working on this weight loss thing again.

Yes, I’m still on pain    But yesterday I could feel that I turned some sort of corner.  The pain dropped in intensity.  Well maybe not intensity.... but, the pain dropped from constant intensity to bursts of intensity.   The ache is constant still.  I also dressed myself without anyone’s assistance and I did it without crying or gasping in pain!  Go me!

Over this last week, I didn’t go hog wild with my eating.  In terms of weight watcher points, I ate my daily points and all of my weekly points.   In calorie counting terms, I ate around 1600 calories.   By the book, that should be enough for a wee tiny loss!  But  for me that is a maybe maintain (if I’m lucky) but most likely a gain.  Yes, I ate my pain!  I’m a food addict.   I eat every emotion and ever feeling.   I’m not proud of it, but that is unfortunately who I am.

But if this really is a broken rib (ribs) the healing is going to take weeks...6-8 weeks.  I can’t eat my myself silly for that long!   I also can’t go that long without some kind of formal exercise.   And....I started a challenge in the month of May that I am shamelessly copying from Another blog I follow    I started off gung ho...and on day two I fell apart when I had that accident!

Sooo....a week late but here I am, presenting myself for the challenge.   You see.  I may have messed up and/or missed the first week of the challenge but there are still three more weeks where I can have success!  If I throw in the towel and say ‘next month’ I lose three weeks of opportunity!   That would be a travesty!

So here I am....ready to rock out the next three weeks of this challenge.    

So what are the parameters of the challenge?

Here are the goals that were set over at

Lessofme108days

1. Stick to between 1,200 and 1,400 calories a day
2. A minimum of 7,000 steps per day
3. Lose 10 pounds by May 31
4. Post progress on my blog

So how are my goals different?

1.  My calories will be the same....low because that’s where I lose.

2 So I knew that the 7k steps were going to be rough.   I am aiming for 5k OR a bike ride.  (Yes, I plan of still riding).   

3  lose weight...7 pounds is my goal   Since I have ‘lost a week’ I would say that I’m ‘hoping’ for 10 pounds but that may not be realistic. 

4.  Share my progress...of course!  :-)

So here we go.   It’s not going to be easy because the pain does persist, but I can’t lay down and let the weight come back!  I want to win the war against this weight...that means that I need to fight the battles...even when I don’t feel at my best!  

Fried Friday Ramblings

Excuse me...it's Friday and I'm sitting here wanting to be ANYWHERE other than at work (yes, I am allowed to do this in my downtime between customers!)!   Anyway, with a Friday Fried mind, I will probably ramble!

The other day I was putting on my shoe.  It was a slip on shoe....I wiggled my foot to get it seated properly in the shoe and OUCH....the ankle screamed at me.   I took it easy and moved on.  Yesterday when I was getting out of my car I pushed and twisted to get out and OUCH....it screamed at me again.   So when it came time to run this morning.....I passed it up.   I hate to do it, but I am looking for health and running on a foot that is NOT up to par is NOT the way to do it!

 The Hagerstown 100 Miler was a huge consideration for me when I was contemplating to run or not this morning.  I don't want to get behind the 8 ball in terms of my mileage.   But that said, I actually was above my mileage for last week, so if I can get in a mile or two of walking this weekend I should be OK.    

What was my mileage for week one?   A few hours of hiking/walking on the C&O canal one day helped boost my numbers.  I completed 11.44 miles last week.   Not too shabby.   And knowing that I did that last week...I can mostly  rest my ankle this upcoming week.  In fact, I only need to complete 2.56 miles to stay caught up with my needed miles.  PIECE OF CAKE!  

My weight had dropped a bit this morning.   I think some of my weight issues at my official weigh in on Wednesday was due to water retention.  Way TMI, but your gonna get it anyway......I peed like a race horse yesterday.   Like literally every 30-40 minutes.  ha ha ha  That is a good sign...means I'm not retaining as much water anymore!

And a final picture of how I operate with my kitties!!!!

Spinning wheels

My eating is not spot on...but it's not spot off.  What in the world am I talking about??  Well, I have a caloric goal each day.  I'm not 'quite' reaching that 1200-1300 goal.  I'm getting perilously close (as in I've been about 1400 calories most days this week).  This is a positive.  I'm keeping track...that's the most important part right now! (well, except for today (sunday)

The big news?  I managed to hold onto my weight during the two days of vacation.  I weighed the exact same thing .....exact!  That is absolutely awesome!  I drank my water on Wednesday but failed on Thursday.  So that was my goal for Friday onward.  Stick with my preplanned eating plan and DRINK WATER!  Friday I was excellent  Saturday I didn't do to badly.  Sunday...well I didn't do the greatest.  But I'm not going to let it derail me.   I've got this!

As for my foot.  As for my exercise.  As for .....well I'm going to try to get out for a run either Monday or Tuesday.  I'm set to run the Turkey Trot in our area on Thanksgiving....and well....I'm just going to roll with running as I can. The trick is that I have to have a backup exercise plan IN PLACE so that the weather (we are heading into snowy weather season) and or foot pain does not derail me!
 I am seriously planning on getting a spin bike/exercise bike or whatnot for that resason. (my recumbant bike is just not working correctly) The trainer is still an option, but after talking to my brother I'm leaning away from it.  First of all, his words were "you get what you put into it"  so buying a cheaper (100 buck option) is just that, a cheaper version and you get what you pay for...cheap.  I could go with a higher costing option that would be better but then I'm putting more money into it.    Bottom line, with the trainer you are putting wear on your bike.  Namely the back tire.....as in you'll be replacing that back tire quite a bit more often.    So my thoughts on the trainer....handy because its space efficiency.  In the long run, if I use it a lot, it's gonna be more costly and probably going to cost me just as much to get a decent bike. 

Soooo..onward I go.  I'm determined to lose weight this week...but it's gonna be rough after today and with the holiday!!  

Little bit of this and a little bit of that

Ok, I'm not quite ready to be up and celebrating yet....but I realized this morning that my heel (plantars fasciitis) has not bothered me at all this week.  I even did zumba on Monday night without it taped.  I wore heels to work yesterday.  I have done everything wrong this week and I've been pretty good.   SHhhhhhhh  like I said, I'm not quite ready to celebrate, but dare I hope that things are looking up on that front????   I'm still going to keep my tape handy and tape the foot at any twinge and also if I do a double 'high impact' exercise day. (ie double zumba sessions.....or a run followed by zumba, etc).  Precaution!

My arm is still hurting, but other than while I'm sleeping, it's not to bad.  My main deterrent this week from exercise is this sinus pressure, accompanying headaches and the sniffles.  I'm basically miserable.  Of course last year I ran through this crap. Hmmmmm, does that mean it's an excuse right now?????


My eating has been pretty good this week.  One day at a time.  I can't look at the long week right now.  I've failed so may times when I do that.  So right now, my plan is to win one day at a time!

Water...well, I gave up the diet soda that had crept back into my daily life.  However, I replaced it with.....NOTHING.  OOPS.  Working on that too!

I did it for the donut!

August 9th...I have mentioned that date over and over in my posts in conjunction with running.  I had planned to run at least three 5k's this year.  The possible culmination (yeah, I'm already looking for another one...so it won't be the culmination)  would be the Do-nut Alley Rally in my hometown of Hagerstown, MD.    As soon as I heard about the fact that the local legendary do-nut shop sponsored a 5k I knew I wanted to run it.....I knew this months and months before I ever ran a step.  So August 9th was the date that I was looking for...the day that I would run the do-nut alley rally.

I was worried the weeks building up to this 5k....I had this pesky pain caused by the plantars fasciitis that I had been diagnosed with a month earlier.   I knew I wasn't going to run it to set any personal records...that was not my plan.  My plan was to simply 'run' and finish.  (seriously, I hadn't run more than 5 miles TOTAL in the previous 6 weeks).   My foot wasn't/isn't better so I wasn't sure how it was going to work.  Stupidly, I canned pickles the night before the race....so my foot took a beating with that! (yes, my foot ACHED after the hours of standing). The icing on the cake?   The weather forecast was HORRIBLE!  I was determined.  This was NOT a race I was sitting out.  Rain or shine....ache or pain...I was RUNNING!

Did it rain????   It rained on and off all day long. (this was an evening run).  It looked clear when we made our way to the do-nut shop (yes, this was held outside of the local legendary do-nut shop!).  I picked up my swag bag and got my timing chip.  And then it started to rain.  Yup, we were all huddled under umbrellas while we waited.  Sherry and I were not to be deterred....wet or dry we were running!  (pardon the crappy picture, I was dodging raindrops and of course my cell phone was in a baggie to protect it...so it wasn't exactly the best conditions for a picture!)

The rain however, did stop with about 15 minutes left until race time!   WEEEEE.   We all posed for some extra pictures.  And passed a bit more time.  I had the pleasure to run this race with Sherry, Paula and her daughter Alex.  :-)   

I even had time to take a picture of a tattoo that really intrigued Todd (it's a Beatles tattoo).  Turns out the tattoo was on a gal that both Sherry and Paula went to school with.  You can see that my shirt is already pretty wet and the run hasn't even started!  (I think we may be running a mud run in a team with this gal!)

We moved up to the start line and waited for the gun to go off (well, really there was no gun....or maybe we were just talking and missed it!)    One last picture and then we were off!

 We started out and I cautioned Sherry to pace it.  I reminded her that we did NOT have to keep pace with the  people that had started out beside us.  We needed to keep a pace that we comfortable with us.   Within a half of block or so the crowd thinned out and we settled down into a comfortable pace.  Ufortunately, we lost track of Paula and Alex after the first quarter of a mile. We kept a comfortable pace, using my HRM as a good guide to where we needed to be running to keep us from wearing ourselves out.   At one point I was breathing heavy and Sherry threw my own words back at me and said "I hear you breathing, but are you dying?"   She knew what my answer would be...that NO, I wasn't dying.  So I KNEW what her response would be (the same thing I've been telling her)  "then keep going!"  The race course was actually ingenious.  We weaved through some roads and then into a grave yard.....and we did at least 2 of the miles of this run inside the graveyard (no public roads to have to close..no cars no nuttin').  As we got to the graveyard I saw my brother and his family standing along side the road at the entrance gates.  They cheered for Sherry and I!  It was awesome!   We waved and said hi and trucked on.   No stopping for us!   We weaved into the graveyard and pretty soon saw two more people on the side of the road.  Mom and dad stood there cheering for me!  As we ran by I introduced Sherry to mom and dad and they started cheering for her also.   We ran on.  Mom and dad moved to a different spot in the graveyard and they waited for us to run a mile or so and cheered for us as we finished up the loop through the graveyard.  As we left the gates and reentered the public roads my brother, sister in law and there three kids were there cheering us on again!  Motivated and knowing the end was in sight, we waved said hi and bye and kept going.

As we turned onto the final stretch before we turned onto the finish line I looked down for the first time and took note of the time.  It was only 8:02.  Uhhh the race started at 7:30 or thereabouts.  So we were with less than a half mile from the end and we were at only 32 minutes.  I chewed on that thought in my head and within a minute or two told Sherry about my thought that we just may have a chance to be under 40 minutes or at the very least she had a VERY good chance of setting  personal record for herself.  That was all that was said.   We reached the final corner and turned onto the last stretch. I could see the finish line.  It took me a few seconds to register that the time on the big clock was saying 39 and some change.  I made one comment to Sherry.  It was something along the lines of  "Oh no, I refuse to cross the line over 40 minutes."   I then instructed her to haul A$$ if she wanted to beat the 40 minute mark.  Sherry took off like a bat out of hell and I followed along a few paces behind.

My official time was 39:23.  I'm actually REALLY good with that time.  I was running on a bum foot after not running for weeks.   My PR for a 5k was the 38:20.  So I only lost 1 minute and three seconds during the last month of hell.  NOT bad.  Yes, I had originally planned to run the Do-nut Alley Rally in 36 minutes or less...but life changed and I rolled with it!

Of course we had to take the obligatory post race picture!

After our picture taking extravaganza, we headed down the alley toward the do-nut shop (yes, the do-nut shop is in the alley....stop laughing, these donuts are HEAVENLY and well worth the trip down the alley!) .   It was do-nut heaven festival.  The smell of freshly cooked donuts wafted through the air (this is a normal scent in the alley).  But the best part?  About every 2-3 minutes the back door of the do-nut shop opened and out would come a person carrying trays of donuts.  They walked through the crowds and we were able to simply grab a warm freshly baked do-nut as they walked by!  

Why yes!  I do believe I DID have a do-nut.  I can not tell a lie.  I chose a cream filled chocolate iced do-nut and boy oh boy did it ever taste GOOD!  

I even have proof!!!!!!!!  (although I don't have a picture of the chocolate do-nut that I took a huge bite out of before I gave it to Todd!)

Ahhh....so what's up next?   Possibly the Muddy Mamma raising money for Girls Inc.  Or maybe a 5k raising money for Habitat for Humanity.  (both of those are in September).  Hmmm, there is a breast cancer run in Early October.  And let's not forget the specter of a turkey trot again.  Choices choice choices!

DONUTS

Sometimes things happen for a reason.  Seriously, they do!  I’m going to just say one last time…July has been the month from H E double hockey sticks!    It’s been a disaster emotionally and physically.  I ate and ate and ate.  I gained a total of 1 pound for the month of July.  It could have been worse (thank God for the flu).  I can use excuses about the restricted exercise.  I can use excuses about the emotions that kicked me A$$.  I can do all of that, but I have to also admit that I was like a shark in  chum filled water.  It was a feeding frenzy that grew a little more crazy each day.   No more.  I want to get to my goal and I know how to do it!

When the doctor told me I had a debilitating and life threatening injury that would prevent me from running or doing anything high impact I was bummed out.  My running was progressing.  I was seeing progress in my running.  I was having some fast paced runs. Seriously, I was starting to rival Jackie Joyner Kercee  in speed.  (shut up….. I know that I’m old and out of touch with the current stuff….but that’s the only runner I could think of!)  I was flying on my runs.  I was even breaking a 12 minute mile on some of my good runs.  OK, so maybe I was only rivaling her in my head, but the victory to me was just the same.  It was only a few months earlier that I couldn’t even run 60 seconds without feeling as if I was going to collapse in a heap of sweaty fat on the side of the road.  I had gotten to the point where I could run straight without stopping. I had pushed myself through the ‘You can’t do this’ mentality and starting just doing it.  I was starting to see my average pace drop.  I was DOING IT.    I had broken my goal of running a 5k in less than 40 minutes…in fact I blew my goal out of the water.   I was registered for the Krumpes Donut Alley Rally.   In case you don’t know what Krumpes is….Krumpes has been a tradition in my family for longer than I’ve been around.  My parents would leave church on Sunday nights (way back int he 70's)  and swing down to this little alley donut shop that was open from late evening until early morning and pick up donuts.  When my parents left Hagerstown to go to Bible College and work in the ministry as a preacher and preachers wife, we would still visit family in Hagerstown,  Krumpes donuts were a staple on each visit.  Eventually we moved back to this area and my brother introduced his kids to the love of a Krumpe Donut.  So when I heard that Krumpes was doing a 5k I KNEW it was one I wanted to do.  In fact, I wanted to do this run before I even started running seriously.  This is the epitome of running. (and they BETTER give me a free donut after I flail around acting like I’m running!)  Anyway, I registered for this run a few months back.  In fact, this is the run that I based my future running off of.  I’ve said over and over that I will give running a go until August 9^th…..I will reevaluate at that time.  Ever wonder why August 9^th?   Well, because that’s the date of the Donut Alley Rally!  I wanted to do this run.  I NEEDED to do this run.  So when the doctor told me on July 3^rd that I shouldn’t be doing anything that was remotely high impact and to even limit walking for 4-6 weeks I was panicked.  That put me RIGHT at the Donut Alley Rally.  I waited….I watched.  I tried the sleeping boot.  I tried the shoe inserts, I bought the slip over arch supports.  I started taping my foot.  I iced and simultaneously rolled my foot on a frozen water bottle.  I stopped wearing heels.  I stopped any activity that caused an impact.  About a week or two I bought new running shoes.  I was getting antsy to recommence with running.   Yesterday I started to run.  My foot isn’t 100% well…but I’ve got a race to run.   I’m only giving myself a week and a half to prepare for it after exactly 5 weeks away from running.  So while I talked for a while about aiming for a new PR on the Donut Alley Rally, I will be running it to just plain and simply run it.  My goal is to finish it at this point.   

Oh, and my reevaluation about running….I’m going to continue.  

This upcoming race stressed me out for a while.  I wanted to run it so bad and I sat nursing an injury….trying to learn how to manage it and cause it to ease up.  I eventually said, ok…the event is raising money for a good cause one that escapes my memory at this time, so my money isn’t going to be wasted if I don’t run it.   That made me feel a bit better.   But this morning when I was running I realized that being preregistered for this race was a good thing…just as having the injury was a good thing.

The injury was good because it forced me to get out on my bike and push through the pain of ridinga road bike versus a mountain bike.  This was made easier since biking was my sole form of exercise (that could be because I was too lazy to make it to the gym to use the elliptical….oops).   Being preregistered for the race has motivated me to push myself.  Some may say I started back too early….but seriously, how long must one wait…because I know the old Maryfran would have waited until 6 years after the last twinge of pain had left my body.

Yesterday morning's run left me with 4.09 miles left to complete in July.  There was NO FREAKING WAY that I was going to miss my mileage goal by 4.09 miles.  I knew that Wednesday was to be a zumba day and that there was a good chance that I would get a short walk in with my husband but nothing NEAR the 4.09 miles….so I got off work at 6, ran to the pharmacy to pick up my husbands medicine, went to a store and picked him up a snack and then stopped him off his snack, drink and meds.  Then I rushed home to gear up like Lance Armstrong (albeit one without drugs in my system) and head out to get a few miles under my belt. Oh wait, it was getting late so I ended up gearing up and riding my exercise bike like a wild woman.  7.5 miles down..and my mileage goal is COMPLETE!!!!  YAY!!!!!


This morning....weighed myself and my weight is DROPPIING!   ~~cue angels singing~~

The good, the bad and the ugly

A year ago my foot started to hurt.  I brushed it aside, laid off the exercise for a while (reading between the lines, I quit exercise for a while) and let it heal on it's own.  No need to go see a doctor!  It was just great.  Fast forward to this year.  To last week.   Tuesday I felt a twinge of an ache in my food.  I paid attention to it and within about 50 hours had admitted defeat. I admitted that I had an issue.   I panicked about taking a break from exercise.  I didn't want to stop.  I did lay off the exercise but I immediately made a doctors appointment.  I had to figure out for sure what I was dealing with.  I had to get better so I could get back out there and move.     Will it ever cease to amaze me that I'm actually liking and WANT to exercise????  What  different a year and a whole different mental attitude makes!  It's a good thing (oh heavens, I sound like Martha Stewart now...yes, you my shoot me as soon as I'm done this post!)

Now for the bad.  I did go to the doctor.  He was amused at my coming in so soon. He knows that I typically wait until it's unbearable.  He knows that I typically 'self heal'.  He's ok with that, so he knew that there was a difference in me to come in at the first twinge of an issue.  I sat there and told him my symptoms....including the symptoms from last years issues, which I thought was behind me but have kicked in full force in the last week.   He listened and then moved forward.  He held my foot in his hand and pressed his finger into the side of my heel.  I think I raised about 2 feet off the chair!  He did it a few more times with me yelping louder each time.  He grinned  (I think sadistically at my pain) and said "Oh yeah, that's definitely plantar fasciitis" . He then turned my foot to the side and ran his finger down and area on my foot.  My foot tingled and burned at the contact.  Yeah, he had found the source of the other pain. "That's Tarsal Tunnel".   Tarsal tunnel?   Yeah, it's just like carpal tunnel.....only it's in your foot.  Lucky me.  So the verdict?    Basically we have to get the plantar fasciitis under control.  He believes that the tarsal tunnel was only acting up again due to my weird gait with this plantar fasciitis thing (I haven't really had any issues with the tarsal tunnel pain in quite a few months...other than a twinge here and there).  To get the plantar fasciitis under control he recommends an arch support to take the pressure off that heel...or more specifically the tendon.  He also recommends no high impact (goodbye running and zumba) and severely limiting the low impact stuff.  He said that the typical person recovers in about 4-6 weeks.  I'm already about a week into the 'no high impact routine"  So HOPEFULLY!    What does this mean for me?   He recommended swimming.  I don't have a pool at my fingertips, so I asked about biking and got the 'that would be great" and then I brought up the elliptical at the gym.  He agreed that that would also be a great exercise for me in the interim.    So 4-6 weeks of limited activity.  That puts me RIGHT at my next scheduled 5K.  I have already registered for the donut alley rally.   The race that I've been planning on doing for quite some time.  Hmmmmm

And now for the ugly.   I could expound on the things I ate yesterday.  But lets just say that it was a BAD day.  I knowingly at a higher caloric lunch.  I was ok with that decision.  However, I was planning on eating a very low calorie (heavy on fruits and veggies) dinner.  I got involved in a household project and when 9PM rolled around and I hadn't eaten dinner yet, I didn't do well and just gorged on food.   Grilled cheese, cottage cheese and apple butter, strawberry shortcake and baked doritos.  Not bad in the grand scheme of things, but bad when you couple that with Mexican (ohhh yummy Mexican food) it wasn't a pretty picture!     Not a failure....just a day. Moving onward!

I don't wanna

I came inside after pushing mowing the yard.  I walked into the bathroom and sat down on the toilet a I waited for the shower to warm up.  I couldn't help it, the tears started to fall.

Let me back up and start at the beginning.  On Tuesday morning I woke up and jumped out of bed ready to go for my run.  Immediately I felt a twinge of pain on my heel.  I thought about it and just carried on.  I was a bit nervous, but that pain dissipated and during my run I didn't feel a thing.   That day I would occasionally feel a twinge or two when I got up to walk, but it disappeared and thus didn't phase me.  Wednesday I once again felt some twinges but nothing too worrisome, I went to zumba and that is where it changed.  The pain worsened.  Thursday during work I actually looked up heel pain and saw a few things, OK OK OK, there was really only one major thing that kept popping up.  Planters Fasciitis   Undeterred I headed out for my walk with Sherry.    We headed out and I was fine.  A mile or so into our walk I could feel some twinges but nothing major.  By the last 1/4 of a mile I was in some serious pain.  Sherry also rattled off the same diagnosis when iI told her my pain. I went home and limped around making dinner.  Friday was more of the same....almost constant pain when I got up to walk...but it eased up as I moved....but then worsened again if I remained on the foot.  After work brought a chore that I couldn't ignore for any longer.  I went out with the push mower and mowed for about 2 hours. 

And that brings me to sitting in the bathroom crying.  I was waiting for the shower to warm up to wash away the grim and sweat from my mowing job and I sat crying.  At  the risk of sounding like a spoiled rotten kid....  I don't want to be injured.  Seriously.  I don't want to!   I'm on a path of forward motion.  I've hit my stride.  An injury is not what I want right now (or ever really).  I have weight to lose right now tough.  I'm on a roll, I don't want to stop the momentum!  No, I cant be injured!   I'm going to sit back and rest it for the next few days.  If it doesn't settle down, I'll hit up the doctor next week. 

Taking a deep breath.   one thing I saw about planters fasciitis is that it's caused primarily by running and a little less commonly by people that participate in dance aerobics.  It's seen often in obese people and also in people that are wearing high heels.  I fit all four out those categories (I wear heels to work  lot in the summer).    The GOOD thing is that while they sy stop doing the offending activities, they recommend switching to swimming and bicycling.     SOOOO I should be ok out on my bike.  I'm going to change my tire tonight (at least that's the plan, I'm beat right now) and go for a ride tomorrow!

I may be stressed out about this turn of events but I REFUSE to let it get me down!

Too costly?

Today I'm paying the price.  Yesterday morning Todd and I headed to the gym.  I worked out....pushing myself. My heart rate was up there and I felt good.  It was  good workout.  I put in about an hour at the gym.   Being as yesterday was a bank holiday I had off work.  Todd and I came back to the house after the gym and we relaxed a bit throughout the afternoon, just watching TV and hanging out.   Typically on days off of work, I do a double session (two straight one hour classes versus the one class that I typically can work into my schedule).  I thought about it all afternoon.  A double session?  Or should I take into account that I had already had a pretty intense workout in the morning?   Decisions decisions decisions.

I had stuck to pretty much straight cardio at the gym in the morning.  I KNEW I was going to go to the second zumba session with is actually zumba sentao.  That is usually a pretty good upper body workout (lots of tricep dips and pushups...amongst other torturous moves)  So I knew that pushing my body on the weight machines wouldn't be a good thing...I didn't want to head into that session of sentao with aching arms.  So my decision wasn't based around the second class...that class was never in debate.  My debate was for the first class.  That class was zumba with some zumba toning songs included into the rotation of songs.  Todd kept asking me throughout the afternoon what my plans were.  I kept saying I didn't know.  I didn't know for sure until about an hour before the class...and then I knew.


I was going to go for broke.  What's the worst that would happen? If my body couldn't handle it, I would just stop.   I headed into the first session and I felt really good.  My legs were responding and I felt pretty good.  It was almost as if I hadn't worked out in the morning.  My foot started hurting pretty badly toward the end of that session.  I just ignored it.  You see, my foot has been bothering me for about a year now.  I just push through it.  :-)  Pretty soon the first hour was done.  I got my chair ready and in position for the sentao hour.  It started.  I was moving but about half way into that hour I felt myself totally run out of steam.  My legs felt like they were dead weight.  I pushed through it.  I was NOT going to give up.  I was whipped, but I was NOT going to let it win.  I focused.  I moved.  I constantly thought about my exercise motto... "mind over matter."  I knew that I was tired, but I knew that my body was not in danger....while my intensity level had  threatened to waver, I knew that I was technically OK. I forced myself to maintain my intensity level.   Quitting was NOT an option.   Praying for it to end WAS an option.  haa haa haa.   I persevered.  I made it!  I conquered something that I would have thought impossible for me.  Will I do it again?  Probably not...it's a bit extreme...but I DID IT!

I came home and boy was I tired.  But the real consequences didn't hit until this morning when I went to get out of bed. Eii yii yii!   My body has this weird feeling of heaviness and achiness.  Three hours of intense exercise worked my muscles!   The cost of my three hours.....soreness! So was that too costly????   No....I did something I never thought I would do!!!! There were also some good aspects!  I got to eat extra food (I normally don't eat many of my earned exercise calories....I ate about 400-500 earned calories....not quite even one workout worth of earned calories).  Ohh...and with the pain I wanted to see what happened on the scales.  One more pound off my body.  :-)  (That's not an official weight loss...just a sneak peak).

So what's my plan for today?   Well...lets just say I'm packing my gym bag to take to work....zumba tonight after work! 

Focus

I've been having difficulties focusing on anything for the last week or so. I don't know what's up. I'm not exhausted (that I know of) or anything, so I dont' know what's up. I have managed to not eat myself out of house and home...however I HAVE eaten over my calorie count on some days. (not enough to gain, but not low enough to lose.)I guess I should be happy that I maintained. However, maintain is NOT what I need. I need to lose.


My leg is still bothering me. Prolonged activity bothers it (last sunday when we were out and about it bothered me that night and the next day...then on Thursday I made pickle relish and jam in the morning and I paid the price with pain by struggling with pain that evening) Whatever the cause, it's getting OLD OLD OLD.

Yesterday I went to a reenactment with my brother and his family. Had fun....and actually pulled my camera out in ages. Felt good.

My brother is remodeling the house that

my grandmother and grandfather bought and remodeled 40 years ago.  He took panelling off of the wall and found this written with the adhesive.  Since my grandfather put up the panelling we know that he is the one that wrote this there.  Just a really cool find.

Focus

My focus is there.  I spent the weekend reading some great blogs.  I read successes and I read failures followed by success.  I knew what I need to do and reading other people's experiences encouraged me to believe that once again I could do this. It made me remember that I HAVE done this and just need to do it again.  It also probably helped that for breakfast I had some leftover pizza and a piece of leftover raspberry cobbler.  I felt miserable, bloated and stuffed afterward.  I vowed to eat a banana...and something light for lunch.  But 2PM rolled around and I found myself eating.....you guessed it more leftover pizza and another piece of raspberry cobbler.  So then I was miserable all afternoon.  Todd came home and we had dinner at 8:30.  I made chili...with beef.  So I wasn't tempted to eat any chili (no beef for me please.....in fact the smell of the cooking meat was icky).  I did have a piece of my homemade cornbread.  I also made myself a sandwich with the last of the egg salad that I had made the day previously.  I ate half the sandwich and while I wanted to eat it all (it was yummy)....I threw it away and stopped.  Regardless, the bloated overstuffed feeling was still prevalent from my breakfast and lunch.  Lesson learned.  My body was SCREAMING at me and I didn't listen at first.....but I did finally get the message.

So today I'm focused. My food from breakfast has been entered into myfitnesspal.com. (yes, I am a weight watchers fan...and love the program, but money is really tight right now and I can't afford the meetings......I am a lifetime member, so when i get back to my goal weight, I'll be returning to the meetings to help keep me focused)  The food that has gone into my lunch box for consumption here at work has been entered into myfitnesspal.  I have a nice amount of calories left for dinner.  I have my clothes packed for my zumba class that I go to every Monday. (or that I try to go to every Monday).  I'm a little nervous about it....not sure if my left knee can stand it...but I'm gonna try it.

This morning I had Todd look at my knee.  I had him see if he could feel a knot or anything in the muscle that runs from my calf, over the back of my knee (out back edge) and up into my thigh.  The pain when I move is localized in the knee region.  But when he was pressing on the muscle, it hurt when he touched the muscle up my thigh too.  Crazy.  Not sure what is up with this.  GRRRRR  (ohhh and I took the last week and a half off....no exercise....if anything, the pain got worse.)

Ok, I actively decided to take Saturday as a 'day of rest' and not weigh and just eat normally. That turned into two days. Holy Hell. Last night for dinner I had frozen yogurt and doritos. (WTF?....but it was yummy).


My weight today..... up!   In defense....the monthly scourge...the ever reoccuring monthly ick is upon me. (which affects my weight) andI did also drink near next to nothing yesterday. But Those are excuses (they may be valid) but I'm just going to say my eating did it and refocus. GRRRRRR

So my victories for the weekened?  Well I can say that I had that frozen yogurt and the doritos and I stopped there.  But my major victory?  We went to breakfast on Sunday morning.  I wanted pancakes and also home fries.  My normal behavior would have been to order a stack of pancakes and the side of home fries.  I ordered a SINGLE pancake and the home fries.  And I felt fantastic.  I was in control and I wasn't stuffed!  That is a true victory!

Rode my bike 21 miles on Saturday afternoon.  The last two miles pert near killed me.  OK, I wasn't near death....but I just wanted that ride to be over during those last two miles.  I made it back to the car perfectly safe and sound.  I was happy becuase my foot doesn't hurt when I ride.  My foot really is only bothered by activities that have any kind of impact.  I can do light walking....for a short period of time.  Any length of walking and the repetative impact gets it to aching.  Zumba...well, we don't talk about what that makes my foot feel like....more on zumba later....  So I made it to my car.  I was tired but I felt good.  I lifted my bike up to the top of my car.  I thought the bike was seated in the mount so that I could let go.  I was wrong. The bike started to fall over on top of me.  I did what anyone would naturally do.  I reached up to grab it and to protect my body from the falling bike.  As best I can tell.....my pinky was pushed back against the top side of my hand...(very unnatural position, I garauntee you).  So my pinky is all swollen and I can barely move it.  And when I do move it pain shoots through my hand and up my arm.  JOYOUS.   I think it's a bit better today....so hopefully it will heal on it's own.

Zumba....I know that my foot aches from the pounding impact.  I know that whatever this injury to my foot is, is not helped by Zumba.  But I so don't want to give it up.  Zumba to me is a release. It has somehow morphed into something more than just an hour of exercise.  It's almost like I need it for my 'mental well being' or something.   That is why I go...even though i know that my foot will ache during and afterward. 

I've tried to take a few weeks off and not do the impact....but it just doesn't seem to help.  SOOOOO  After my vacation, I'm goign to go to the doctor.  (not goign before...hell if he's putting me on crutches before my vacation!)

Raindrops keep falling on my head!

Rain!

That about sums up the morning! Well, actually not. But it does have a lot of bearing on the morning. I heard Todd putzing around the bedroom early and looked at the clock. 4:55???? What? Is this really my husband? Up before 5AM??? No way! But he was. I mumbled hello and drifted back to sleep. I drifted in and out of awareness until he was finishing his coffee and putting his shoes on. I heard him getting ready to leave so I mumbled my goodbyes. He was going to the studio to paint the floor. He had turned off the fan so I could hear the rain pounding away on the roof. Finally jarred the whole way awake, I gave up trying to sleep and turned the light on to finish reading my book. By about 6:30 or so I was done with my book and ready to face the day. I weighed myself, ate my breakfast and directly hopped onto the exercise bike. I rode until about about 9AM.....roughly an hour and a half. Todd came home while I was on the bike and he agreed to run to the next town with me to go to the bank. So I showered and we went out for a drive through the wet dreary day. We checked on the level of the river, went to the post office, ran to the bank and stopped to get gas in my car (hey, if he's going to pump, I'd be a fool not to have him do it). We took different back roads so that we saw as much as we could see before going back home. I got home and it was still only 10AM. I didn't have to be at work until noon! So a productive morning.

My weight, dropped again this morning! YIPPEE! I'm tickled! I will hopefully soon be back under 200 pounds. And I do swear that this time, when I get solidly into the 100's that I will NOT return to twoterville! I've learned my lesson...the decline (actually the rise of the scales) comes quickly and harshly, taking no prisoners!

My health....oh what a story.

The shoulder? Hurts. What else can I say? Ever since my massage on Thursday it has been hurting worse than it's hurt in the last few weeks. Admittedly, yogo didn't help! tee hee hee Wonder what would happen if I did yoga again tonight?????? haa haa haa Ok, not a good idea, I think I'll pass on yoga tonight. However, I am thinking that a nice long soak in the tub with the Epsom salts may be a good idea.

The throat? Hurts. My voice is all hoarse and raspy. My husband is getting chuckles because I'm talking to him in this deep raspy voice. I'm leaning toward it being a simple sinus issue and not any bug (mono or the piggy flu...yeah yeah yeah...swine flu...but doesn't piggy sound much more fun??.....)due to the way that I can feel the sinus' draining and all that. We'll have to see, time will tell.

BUT, other than those two things, I feel peachy! Dandy! Hunky Dory! A little wet but pretty darn spiffy!

Hanging on for dear life

I'm holding steady. The weight is dropping ~again~. I'm gearing up to be healthy this weekend and not lose control!

Had a bit of a panic yesterday. Todd and I got outside and walked in the snow (not deep snow...snow in the air) for about an hour. Then we went home and played Dance Dance Revolution. I was 'dancing', (I prefer to think of it more as hopping...because a dancer I am not) and came down on my foot wrong. I heard a pop and felt pain as I fell to the sofa that was nearby. I don't know what popped.....the pain did ease a bit....and stubborn girl that I am, I played DDR for another 20 minutes or so. (only because the pain eased almost all the way). BUT, today my foot hurts. Hmmm...not cool. Wonder what that popping noise was. OH well...I'll have to continue to ponder that...I'm not going to the doctor since the pain isn't that bad...it's more annoying! (no health insurance.....I don't go unless it's a last resort!) And yep, I still managed to get some time on the exercise bike into my day yesterday!

Which brings me to my thought of the day. Why in the world is it so hard to regain control after you've lost it. I mean I lost it back in OCTOBER! And I haven't really gotten a good grasp. I've had a few days here and there where I think I've got it under control again..but then BOOM...it slips from my grasp! I can do this though. I've DONE it...so I know that I can do it again!

Well, it's official. I am registered for my bike ride! Now to train for it! Have I said that I don't like exercise......so I'm kinda dreading training...but really excited about it at the same time...does that make sense? Could this be the exercise loving breakthrough for me???

Thinking about trying a spinning class at the gym. I've always been intrigued with them...but I've never tried one. This would be perfect with my training and stuff. My 'excuse' right now....we are planning on giving up our gym membership this summer when our contract at this gym is up (we switched gyms last summer....it was a one year contract). My excuse is "what if I love it and then have to give it up when we leave the gym" . Yeah, flimsy excuse....I'm almost ashamed to write it out...but hey, it is what it is!

I woke up this morning and looked at the thermometer...I was tickled 42 degrees. Woo hooo....with temps like that, it would be a wonderful day to ride (I get off of work at 3PM today). By the time I left for work (1 hour after my first glance at the thermometer) it had dropped to 40 degrees. It has dropped some more...it's spitting snow (ohhh wow...it was spitting snow now..icky). I know that a die hard biker would be out in it...but I'm just not to that stage (haa haa haa...I don't know if I'll ever be to that stage). Oh well...exercise bike here I come....or maybe the gym!

Spring where are you?????

Today is a super stressful day for Todd and I. I'm not going to go into details here, but suffice to say that we have a lot riding on this day! I'm sitting here at work and worrying about things that I have no control over....which is pointless I know. But that's easier to say than to follow.

I did not weigh myself this morning. Yesterday, while I did walk quite a bit....I KNOW for a fact that I was really dehydrated. I was dying of thirst at one point. Toward the end of the day, I had picked up a headache. I'm almost 100% positive that it's because of my lack of drinking. What did I drink? In the morning with my oatmeal I had 'maybe' 8 ounces of water. I didn't have anything else until lunch (which we ate at about 1:30 or so)...and that was a diet coke. I drank about 3/4 of the bottle. NOTHING else until we got home at about 8PM. And then I downed 3..count em...THREE cans of Diet Sunkist! Does carbonated beverages count??? I know that the sodium in those drinks will also have an affect on my weight today (I've noticed that they always do)....so we'll hold off.

However, this morning on the drive in to work (ohhh the whole 2 mile drive...yeah yeah yeah...I COULD ride my bike..but it's a winding country road and it will be dark when I get off of work!) I thought about how I need to shake myself out whatever diet lull I'm in (oh wait...I don't call this a diet....but you get the point) and get my butt in gear and get myself back down to my goal weight so i can STOP PAYING FOR WEIGHT WATCHERS! I did it....and thoroughly enjoyed those two or three free months until my weight sky-rocketed!

On to the bad news of the day. Yesterday morning...early in our sojourn in DC, I was walking and my foot flipped out. I'm not sure if my ankle simply turned (it does that) or if I stepped wrong on something uneven to cause my foot to twist...but regardless I hurt my foot. Todd knew it happened and I forced myself to continue walking. This is a common thing that happens to me....my foot twists quite commonly...it usually hurts for a few minutes and then the pain subsides. So I just told him to continue walking and it would be all right. I didn't want to tell him that while it did ease up some.....it continued to bother me all throughout the day. Granted I was on my feet the whole day (this happened within an hour or our arrival in DC). I hoped that it would ease up some after I was off of it. I was wrong. That was my first thought this morning when I woke up and my foot moved....it hurts. FU...........DGE!!!!!!!!!!!! (OK, that was for anyone that is a fan of The Christmas Story...you know..Ralphie...You'll shoot your eye out......one of my husbands all time favorite movies.....one he could and does watch OVER AND OVER again).

So there is where I'm at.

Well...I showed that .8 loss at my last weigh in. But since then I've sort of fallen apart. I've not done too awfully terrible. However I know that I'm not doing all that great either. My weight has gone up a pound or two. That is totally disappointing! SO I decided to look deeply and see exactly what is happening. There are two things going on. Exercise and eating......duh..what else could it be!

Exercise. Well, my foot injury from the other week. While I'm ok with basic walking. I found out that it still hurts pretty badly if I'm on my foot too long or do something too demanding with my foot. I keep telling myself that there is no excuse...I should be on the exercise bike! BUT, saying that and doing that are two different things. I don't want to overextend myself...with an injury becuase that will keep me from exercising all that much longer!

EATING. This one is the biggie. I do ok with my lunch. But when it comes time to make dinner...I'm in the kitchen and I snitch food while I making dinner. Yes, dinner could be mere minutes from being put on the table and I am eating something else! This is so not good...it's wracking up extra points that I don't need to be eating! I know that's where the problem lies! Becuase if I actually look at my 'meals'...my points are right on target....it's that snitching that is pushing me over the edge! I keep telling myself that I'm not goign to do it anymore, yet it happens time and time again! NOT COOL!

I've been busy also with stuff for the other place. It seems as if my spare time is spent in one of three ways. One...over at the other place, painting, cleaning and otherwise working. OR Two, spent planning and purchasing stuff. or THREE, in making curtains and other things that I'll need. (Yeah, I'm making them...it's more fun...and I can get what I want!) So I feel overwhelmed with life and all that it entails right now!

Injury

Well, I have been religious about goign to the gym and/or doing cardio at home. BUT about a week ago, I noticed this unnatural bump on my foot...hard....hurts when touched...REALLY hurts when pressed....right on the top of my foot. So, I think I will probably have to head to the doctor. Although right now it isn't too bad. WHen it first happened, I switched from the treadmill to an elliptical trainer (lower impact) and it seemed to help...(I at least didn't notice it all that much) THEN on Friday, I really noticed it again (coincidence that I was on the treadmill for my 10 minute warm up?...hmmm) It seems to have gone down over the weekend. BUT, I don't want to injure myself...the point is HEALTH......lol

BUT honestly, I feel that even if the doctor prescribes me to stay off my foot, I will probably still work out....trying to take it easy on that foot. I am so determined to do this this year.