A Light through the cracks

 I have made it my goal to read more 'inspirational or educational books' this year.  My goal is at least one a month.   Honestly, that's been pretty easy.  I am averaging about 2 a month (on top of my normal reading of fiction books).  I picked up a memoir the other day.   While maybe not educational in a sense that I would learn something that would be useful for my personal health and fitness journey, this book was still inspirational and a very good read.

I am not ashamed to say that I picked up this memoir due to the fact that the mountain climber had been kidnapped and I wanted to read the gory details.  However, I got a lot more than that in the book, A Light Through the Cracks by Beth Rodden. 

The book does give the details of the kidnapping that occurred while she was on an international climbing trip.  However, the story of that terrifying ordeal is interspersed throughout the book as the author relays what brought her to that point and how she struggled to survive and move on after the experience.   This was a story of a young girl who followed her dream of being a climber and became a professional/sponsored climber.  It is the story of a young woman who struggled for years to overcome the fears and trauma caused by the events that occurred during a seemingly simple overseas trip.  The guilt caused her to pursue relationships that were not healthy.   Her fear caused her to avoid people and situations.  Almost every decision made after that momentous event was clouded with the past traumatic stress of the events.  

Even more interesting to me, we are able to follow a professional mountain climber as she lives in a male dominated sport.  We walk with her as she fears losing her sponsors and as she works to complete difficult climbs.  Along the way, she explains different aspects of mountain climbing so that the without realizing it, the reader is becoming educated in the sport of mountain climbing.

I really enjoyed this book.  It was not what  expected in that it didn’t dwell on the actual events of the kidnapping.  But it was a really good read. The story flowed and was informative and told in such a way that you couldn’t help but like the characters and hope for the best for them. 

Built to Move

 I have recently read a book that had a profound impact upon me.  That book was Built to Move by Kelly and Juliet Starrett.

In the last year I have noticed a decline in my ability to move effectively and efficiently. If I have to get down to the floor it is painful, cumbersome and not very graceful for me to rise back to a standing position. That fact has bothered me, and I have 'hoped' that by getting back into a regular exercise routine that I would be able to recover some of my lost mobility that I had seemingly lost overnight.   

It wasn't until I read the book that I realized that this problem had been building for a while, but I had been ignoring it and treating the symptoms by doing things like buying trekking poles to negate my balance issues while hiking. 

The premise of this book is that our modern lifestyles do not utilize our bodies the way they were made to move.   Furthermore, by not using our bodies to their fullest abilities, we have lost a degree of function and effectiveness.    They say that the book is getting everyone to realize and achieve what the body CAN do and not what our bodies are doing.

The book breaks everything down into 10 core 'vital signs' that we should be focusing on.  They included range of motion, squatting, walking, sleep, eating and proper breathing.   For each vital sign they gave a benchmark test for the reader to complete and mobilizations to utilize in order to correct and better yourself.  They also gave research about why the vital sign was so important.  And let me tell you, some of the stats and research were sobering!

Some of the thing that really had an impact on me included:

* A 2010 study showed that people that sit for 6 or more hours a day are 37% more likely to die earlier.  (these numbers did not change for people that exercised regularly)

*Compared to a person that walks 4000 steps, (the average American walks 5117 steps a day), if you up your step count to 8,000 a day you lower your risk of dying early by 51%.   If you up your step count to 12,000 steps a day, you have a 65% lower chance of early death.

*For every inch your head is tilted forward (think looking down at your cell phone) you add 10 pounds of load to your neck, which then affects the arms and back. 

*Micro nutrients are important (which I knew, but have resisted really counting).  They follow the research that if you aim for 800 grams of fruits and veggies a day you will come very close (and most likely meet) your micro nutrient goals.  I like that plan so much better!

*In a study of middle aged women who at only 1 serving of fruit or vegetable a day they were 50% more likely to end up with a physical limitation versus someone eating 2-4 servings.

There was so much more in this book!  I'm telling you, I can't say enough good about this book and HIGHLY recommend it!   It has had a profound impact on me.  I immediately upped my servings of fruits and veggies!  (that 800 grams is about 6 cups a day). I FINALLY hit the button for buying a stand up desk.   I became cognizant of how I am standing and sitting.  I am ready to make changes so that my body can work the way it was intended. 

Once again, I recommend this book 100% .  It is a fabulous read.  I actually got it from the library and I will be buying a hard copy so that I can actually have it handy so that I can do the mobilizations and tests so that I can better myself!  

         

Removing the Diet Mentality to Bring Success: Book Review of Thinsanity

 I have long written about my love hate relationship with this weight loss journey that I am on.  I love the progress and how I feel when I'm losing (or have lost) weight.  I love knowing that I am doing really good things for my body.  There is a lot that I love.  However, there is a certain loss of innocence.  I miss the innocence of not thinking about my food intake, I miss the innocence of living a life and not having to think about being healthy.   Is a healthier body worth it?  Yes.  But that doesn't mean I sometimes mourn that loss.

This year I made a vow to read a 'healthy life' related book each month.  I read a lot.  My yearly average  is about 125-150 books.  Many of the books are fluffy and light romance novels, heart stopping thrillers or any variety of fictional works.  But this year, I want to make sure that I am reading something to better myself, at least one book a month!  In the past I have randomly picked up this kind of book, but with no real consistency.  So I decided one a month would be a good start to bring more enlightening books into my life!    That's not a lot in the grand scheme of how much I am reading!  (I made this decision in February so I have an extra book to read at some point to make my perfect 12.)

I was looking for my book last month and noticed the book Thinsanity by Glenn MacIntosh.  I read the description and I was hooked!  Losing the 'diet' mentality sounded like a really good thing for me!  Maybe I could regain some innocence within my weight loss journey!  I was so excited that I didn't even wait for the book to become available through my library.  I went to Amazon and bought it immediately.  

This book started out great!  The author instructs the reader to only read the portions that pertain to them.  I was impressed with this.  Most authors indicate the need to 'read the book in its entirety' to get the full rewards.   But not this author, he clearly told us to skip parts if we have already mastered it or if we feel as if we had already gotten the gist of the chapter and quit simply felt done with the subject.

The book is laid out great!   He has it divided into a chapters that highlight the symptoms of thinsanity.   They are things like negative self image, making peace with food, love hate relationship with food, self medicating with food and healthy habits.   Great subjects!  Each chapter talks about the symptom. The chapters are interspersed with personal stories of people that have left the world of Thinsanity to live away from the 'diet culture' and into a more intuitive lifestyle.  So far so good! 

The problems for me started to come when he started to talk about body image.  He talked about the BMI and how it was skewed so if you were going by the BMI and thought you were overweight.  Since the BMI was not a valid judge you were wrong and thus you were not overweight.  What?  I wholeheartedly agree that the BMI is not the best indicator for weight. After all, I had to get a doctors note to exempt me from the BMI restrictions for weight watchers! I actually wrote about that many years ago in this post.    So I agree with the harsh restrictions of the BMI in terms of weight goals.  But at my current weight, there is no way that anyone would not call me overweight.  Yet this author kept repeating his mantra that "The BMI is wrong so you are not overweight".  These comments had me scratching my head and wondering why I was reading this.

 

My feelings of discontent with this book were nailed home later in the book when he relayed a story about his patient that had worked for 3 months to lose her weight but then gained it back on her cruise.    Really?   She lost all her weight in 3 months?   Three months would be fabulous but without any major illness or medical intervention not even remotely possible for a morbidly obese person.

 

At that point reading became a bit of a drudgery for me.  I felt as if he was writing this book for the person that had just a few pounds to lose and not someone that was morbidly obese.  I kept reading though.   Maybe he would turn it around.   Each chapter did have good hints and tips that can help someone on a weight loss journey.  But the author lost me totally toward the end of the book.  100% lost me.

 

What in the world did he say that turned me off completely?   He flat out said that bariatric surgery is an appropriate potential for people living in large bodies.   What?  I thought the purpose of this book was to live healthy and lose weight!   But no, he went on to say that this book would be great to be used as preparation for bariatric surgery.  

I have nothing against the person that chooses bariatric surgery, however it was not what I was expecting in terms of a book to help me get into a better mindset and say goodbye to dieting forever.  In fact, in my limited knowledge, a person that has had bariatric surgery still has to watch what they eat.  That person may actually have to watch their 'diet' even  more to make sure that they get the proper nutrients.   Hmmmmm...

Either way, I was done with this book at that point.  Was it my personal preconceived notions?  Was I soured by one or two comments at the beginning?   Pick up the book, read it and let me know if I was just having a bad day(s) when I was reading!

 

 So this book was super disappointing for me.  Not a good way to start my reading challenge for the year.  Don't worry though,  I haven't given up.  I already had my next healthy book lined up and have started reading it!  It is proving to be much better!  So stay tuned for that review!!!

A book Review: Fear of Failure

 

I saw the book The Fear of Failure by Wilda Hale and I knew I had to read it.  It should come as no surprise to anyone that has been reading my posts....I've talked a lot about failure recently!  To read this book, was a no brainer decision!

Anytime you are reading a self help book, you can't help but hope that it will solve all the problems in your life and the world.  I was no different as I picked up this book.  I would love to overcome my fear of failure.  I would be tickled to live a full life that does not include holding back out of fear.  This book was not the perfect solution but it really goes into why we fear and what that fear does to us.   As I read I could see myself and I could see why I  am afraid of failure.  I could see how I'm afraid to reach for things because of failure. The book emphasizes the fact that failure is something EVERYONE deals with.  It gave examples of various failures, sometimes multiple times of  people that are hugely successful.   The book reminds us that what we sometimes only see the success and not the years of failure that proceeded the success.  The difference between a successful person is that they are not afraid to fail.  They accept the failures and the rejections as part of the process and keep going.  We see the success and think that it is all success, so we beat ourselves up over our failures. The ultimate example of a successful person was shown in an iceberg picture.  You see the iceberg above the water and that symbolizes success.  What we don't see is the huge mass of iceberg UNDER the water and out of sight.   The out of sight part of the iceberg is the failures that it took to achieve the success.    The person that is afraid of failure will either never try because they don't want to fail, or they will try once fail and give up.   

Feeling like a failure has such long arms as it wraps around us.   The author sited a study/experiment that was completed.  In this experiment they gave a group of people the same size slice of pizza..just one slice to eat.   The group was split into two groups.  Those that thought the slice of pizza was huge and those that thought the slice of pizza was small.  After the participants ate their one slice of pizza they were given access to cookies.  They were not limited to one and could eat as many cookies as they wanted.   The group of people that believed that they had eaten a small piece of pizza as a whole ate LESS cookies than the group of people that believed that they had indulged in a super big slice of pizza.....even though the slices of pizza were the exact same.  The difference was that the people that ate the slice of pizza  that they perceived as huge thought that they had failed and threw their hands up in defeat and they ate cookie after cookie.  The group that thought that they have kept in line and been successful with their 'small' piece of pizza felt empowered and strong and successful and they ate fewer or no cookies.   The size of pizza that each group ate was the same....what was different was the feeling of failure!    Woah....can I ever relate to that one!!!!

This book ended each chapter with take away concepts and it included some activities to do.  (Honestly, the practice of 100 days of rejection...even 10 days of rejection scared the living daylights out of me.  This challenge was to LOOK for rejection at least once each day.  You can do this by asking a stranger for $1.  Or asking a restaurant to do something crazy with your food.  Things that will usually elicit a rejection.   Through the challenge a person will supposedly learn that rejection isn't a bad thing.). 

All in all, this book was a good one for me to read.  I am still afraid of failure and rejection.  I'm still afraid to try.  But the book, The Fear of Failure gave me some hints and tricks to try to overcome those fears and at the very least helped me to realize that what I fear is a normal part of life. 

Finding Balance

 A few weeks ago, I wrote a bit about how I sometimes think that weight loss has overcome my life.  I sometimes feel as if that is my full identity.  I am simply a weight loss person.   I can see how that would happen as I am working on year 18 of posting about my weight loss journey.   But there is more to me than that and I want to really explore those other sides of me a bit more fully. I'm on a quest to find balance in my life.  So buckle up, it's time to explore and get back to the basics.   Ok, that sounded way too dramatic.  It's nothing that crazy, I just decided to purge what isn't working and rediscover what brings me joy and happiness.  In small ways these things have been discussed over these last 17.5 years, so it shouldn't come as a shock.  

Purge and Rediscovery

The quest to purge and rediscover started from two events.  The first was a conversation that I had with my mother.   Mom had a stroke about a year ago, and it has been a really rough ride for her (for all of us).  She is unhappy and miserable with her life.  I was talking to her about happiness and how we have to look for happiness sometimes in our lives.   I was talking to her (which fell on deaf ears unfortunately) but my words came right back around to slap me in the face.   What am I doing in my life to make myself a happier person.  Sure, I'm happy and totally in love, but is there a limit to happiness?  Shouldn't we always be striving for more?  What do I do on a daily basis that makes me happy?   What COULD I be doing to bring about more happiness?

The second thing that set my mind a spinning was all centered around some of my belongings that I have in storage.  When I got divorced back in 2014, my brother allowed me to store some of my belongings in the upstairs of his workshop.  I have gotten some of the stuff over the last few years, but some of the 'odder' things have remained up there.   I have my thin clothes, canning jars and supplies, cookbooks, my medicine bottle collection, and who knows what else. The other week I was up there getting some jars for canning and making plans to get that stuff out of there to free up his space.  Obviously, some of the stuff will be used eventually. (I WILL fit into those clothes again!)   But I have decided to purge a fair amount of the stuff.  It is time to simplify my life. Remove the excess.  Excess only weighs us down and really does not bring us happiness.  There was a time where collecting medicine bottles did bring me happiness, but it doesn't anymore, so it's time to purge and move on.   So, it's a season to purge from my life that which is not necessary or is not bringing me happiness.

Rediscovering Photography

I used to do so much photography.  I loved it.  It was my salvation and outlet during a sad time in my life.  When I was able to move past that sadness, I almost couldn't bear to pick up the camera.  It was almost as if I had poured all of my sadness into the camera through my photography.  For a few years after my divorce, I would try to pick up the camera, but the sadness seemed to hit me every time I touched the camera.  It was easier to walk away and not dabble in photography than to deal with the sadness that came from nowhere. (Seriously, the camera oozed with sadness).   Over the years, I have carried my camera along on vacations and hikes and slowly the camera has become something that is more fun for me.  I think it's time to get back to photography.  My skill level with different settings has all but disappeared.  I'm hoping that it will come back quickly!  But I have been having fun the last few days with my camera!

I have toyed with trying to do a photo a day project, where I take one picture every day.  I did that years ago and actually managed to take a picture a day for two or three years.  I loved the process, but it got dull and boring some days to find something to photograph.  I work from home which makes my world during the week quite small.   I don't want something so restrictive.  I want to take a picture because I enjoy it, not because I NEED to!   So instead, maybe I will just aim to have a collection of good pics each month...no stressing on the number though.  

Reading Like Crazy

I never really lost reading.   I have never been far from a book, even in my darkest moments.  But sometimes in the hustle of life reading gets pushed on the back burner.  I love love love to read!  I always have and I don't want it to get shoved to the back burner.  I have recently decided to write a short review of each book I read.  I'm doing it for a few reasons.  Number one, because it keeps me writing (another thing I enjoy).  But secondly, it will also will give me a document that I can refer to when I can't remember if I read a book and/or what the book was about.  I am posting those on a different site but am toying with pulling them to this site and consolidating everything into one place!  I have been reading like crazy since I started this.  It is a nice way to wrap up the book, in my head at least.  

I just finished reading the book  Doctor Ice Pick which is a sobering read about the doctor who completed thousands of lobotomies across the country.  I've been reading a lot of non fiction lately but feel it may be time for a quick mindless fictional read! 

Simple but Tiring

I was walking through the yard the other day and realized that our mulberries trees are producing ripe berries.  I was not going to let that go to waste!  My father used to make a big deal about picking mulberries and eating them.  I honestly don't recall him taking them home, but it was always a topic of conversation when they were in season and I remember him eating them. So, it was with memories of my father that I took my bowls and containers outside and picked mulberries.  Of course I ate a few while I was out there. But I had grand plans for my berries.   I turned those berries into jelly and syrup!  I have lots of jars preserved!  It is so simple and basic but utterly rewarding.   It was also incredibly tiring.  My body was so tired! Wait, maybe I should say that I have about 30 jars of syrup and about the same amount of jelly.   So it wasn't just a single batch!  It was good honest fun!  And so tasty too!

Weight Loss

I am not forsaking my weight loss roots.  Being healthy is a different form of happiness.  Weight loss is still a big part of my life.  I have been struggling of late.  My weight has been in the same 3-5 pound range.  I know that while I'm not eating horribly that I could be doing a whole lot more. So today I got serious and dusted off my tracker.  Well, I virtually dusted it off.  I started putting my food into myfitnesspal.  I have been woefully lacking in consistency of late.  Tracking for me is the first step.   Baby steps.  I can do this!

Balance

So much of life is simply a balancing act.  Over the years, my focus and attention shifted to one aspect of life; creating an unhealthy balance.  It's time to bring it back into balance and focus on more of what makes me the happiest version of me.  So stay tuned, I will be continuing to share the ups and downs (hopefully more ups) of a weight loss journey.  However, I will also be sharing more of my other side.  My pets, my husband (what he will allow me to share), reading, photography, writing and a little bit of everything else.  

 

A new plan to Lose weight

Things with my weight loss journey have been full of ups and downs and more recently lots of downs.  I have been totally discouraged.  I do the exact same thing I have done in the past and there is no progress....or rather progress is in fits and starts.  It is totally a two steps forward two steps back type of deal.  I knew that something has to change!

Looking for a change in my weight loss plan

I knew that I had to make a change in my weight loss plan and efforts.  So I started to research.  I started to look at various plans.  I checked out the whole 30 and the possibility of eating pretty much ONLY whole foods and nothing processed.  I looked into Keto and the thought of pretty much totally eliminating carbohydrates.  I thought about tweaking my existing calorie in versus calories out routine.   I seriously started to look at fasting on a larger scale than my 16:8 plan that I typically follow.   There were so many options!  I knew I had to research more because I know that I don't want an 'all or nothing plan'.  I don't want a plan that is so restrictive that I can't sustain it for life.   I kept digging into research and eventually I stumbled upon the book, The Obesity Code by Jason Fung.  This book has been out for a while, it was published in 2016, but for some reason it hadn't come across my radar as something I wanted to read until just now.

I started to read and almost immediately the guilt and self hatred toward myself started to fall away.  What am I talking about?  The feelings of being a total failure due to my dismal weight loss progress.  It is hard to not beat yourself up on this journey when you are not losing and instead gaining or at the least maintaining.  BUT, the author talks about how weight is regulated by our bodies.  It would be foolish to not think that our bodies don't regulate it.  Our bodies regulate everything and usually via the hormones that course through our body.  Therefore, weight problems may have been caused by myself (which I do accept full responsibility) but my prolonged issue with obesity and my struggles to get this weight off is most likely due to a hormonal imbalance within my body.  The relief I felt was intense.  I have been beating myself up over what I have perceived as my own personal failure.  Encouraged, I read on.

The author contends that the hormone responsible for weight regulation is insulin. He sited numerous studies that indicate this fact.  Furthermore, the more insulin we make in our body, the more insulin resistant we become, which just causes our bodies to create more since we need more due to the fact that we are resistant (or immune).  The more we produce the greater the changes of weight gain!

Pretty simple right? Just fix your insulin levels right?  Not quite, this is where the author states we as a society has gone wrong.  We get fixated on one facet of this equation....and we forget that there are many facets for getting this hormone under control 

He talks about the keto plan which lowers carbs by strict restrictions. He agrees that it works but what about the other facets that cause our insulin levels to rise?   Intermittent fasting works also because it gives our bodies prolonged periods without food and food is what stimulates our bodies to produce insulin.  So fasting works too!  But what about the other pieces of the puzzle.   Calorie counting?  What about that?  Well yes, that works to reduce the insulin levels.....remember everything we eat causes our bodies to make insulin in response.  So reducing the amount of food through calorie counting and caloric restriction works great also.   But it doesn't account for the whole picture!

The all encompassing plan to lose weight

So I have gleaned 7 different tips and ideas that I will be incorporating into my weight loss plan:

1.  Reducing sugar, including artificial sweeteners.  This is pretty simple...cut back on my sugar intake.  NO more candy at my desk while I'm working! I have been indulging and it fits in my caloric budget but do I really need that little square of pure sugar?  Probably not!  In a perfect world it should be reduced to none, but I am aiming for sustainable, not perfection.  Artificial sweeteners are better in some regards, but they still cause our bodies to produce more insulin.  So they are going away also.  My biggest offender for that is the flavored drink packs.  I drink at least two of those a day!  I plan on reducing that for now and getting back to NONE and drinking just plain straight water for most of my day (right now I'm about 50/50).  I guess this means that the starbursts days are over!

2.  Reduce Refined and Processed foods -  Food that is processed needs to be eliminated.  When food is processed it loses so many nutrients and adds a variety of other things (sugar for one) and it's just not good!  Flour is a great example.  White flour is so highly processed that it contains almost NO nutritional value.  Wheat flour is only marginally better.   Cutting everything out may be not feasible for me and my lifestyle, but I can certainly reduce! 

3.  Moderate My Protein Intake:    I am going to be aiming for 20-30% of my daily food to be protein based.  

4.  Increase Natural Fats - Natural fats (from nuts for example) are good for us.  They do NOT promote insulin production and they have other benefits in our body.   Eat the GOOD fats!

5.  Increase Consumption of fiber!   The author talks about fiber as the 'antidote' to sugar.  He talks about how many processed foods have removed the fiber...so we have taken away the antidote!   Not good!   But that isn't what made me sit back and say "aha!"   I was brought back to my days in weight watchers.  Back to the old days when we didn't just put the information in an app.  We used a physical slider and we could clearly see that the FIBER was a big component (at least it was when I had great success with weight watchers!).   I was eating a very high fiber diet and I lost a LOT of weight.  But somewhere along the way I got away from watching my fiber consumption!   It's time to bring that back!  I"m not sure I am ready to add in a fiber supplement, but it is definitely something I am looking at.

6.  Fasting. I already do  intermittent fasting but the author talks about breaking that insulin resistance.  We need to break  the cycle of your body needing more and more and more insulin.  He claims that the way to break that cycle is to fast.  He actually recommends a 24-36 hour fast.  That will give your body a prolonged time without food...and by having no food your body will not be stimulated to produce insulin....which should help break that cycle.   I will not be doing very long fasts.  But I am going to be trying to OMAD method of fasting to get a bit more time between my meals.  OMAD is better known as One Meal A day.   I will be eating only one time a day....and I'm aiming to do this on my week days while I am at work.   We shall see how it goes and either increase or decrease after I try it.

7.  I know that quantity of food is a big issue for me, so I will continue my calorie counting.  I know that I could still do a LOT of damage in that one meal a day.  I know that I will always need to keep a handle on how much food I eat.  So I will continue calorie counting.   I know my weak spot and calorie counting helps me combat that weakness!

SO there you have it.  My new plan.  It is very similar to what I have already done in the past.  I have already switched to more natural whole foods and tried to lower my carbohydrates.  That has been happening all along.  But it is time to get serious about it and REALLY work on these items!  I'm excited to see how this will work for me!!!!! Wish me luck!

Habits versus goals

I read a book.  That alone is not the amazing thing because I read quite a few books.  What is amazing is that this book opened my eyes and really helped me see where I was going wrong with my weight loss journey!

The book that I read was Atomic Habits by James Clear.   This book from the introduction had me shaking my head in agreement.  I knew the content of the book!   Seriously.  We all know the importance of good habits and bad habits! But this book made it all clear!  It talked about how small habits may seem small and inconsequential but those small habits have a way of gathering speed.  These habits then have a way of building upon themselves and the end result is astronomical!   The author gave clear examples of situations that seemed hopeless or insurmountable but someone enacted small changes that seemed inconsequential but when all added together over time produced amazing results!

Just what I needed to hear!

The author talked about how to make good habits more appealing.  He talked about how to make the bad habits less tempting!   Things just as simple as having the fruit bowl on the counter in plain sight can make eating fruit more tempting!   Removing the obstacles in the way helps!   Likewise removing temptation.  Making the process of carrying out the bad habits more difficult will impede our success to completing those bad habits!   

Yes!!!  This makes sense to me!!

The book discusses ways to build more and more habits.  And this book is quite realistic.  It clearly reads in more than one place that perfection and never indulging in a bad habit is an unattainable goal.  But the good habits should put weight the bad habits!

Isn’t this what I have been saying?

For me though...it was in the early stages of the pint hat I had the most eye opening moment.  It was when the author talked about how having goals is great.  But it’s the habits that we need to be focusing on...because the habits will be what brings the success.  

I have been focusing on that goal and not the habits!!!!

So lots of change in my way of thinking is upcoming!  I’m actually excited!!!!   So stay tuned!!!!

Singleminded

I made a decision that was a rough one for me.  A few months ago I joined Planet Fitness.  It seemed a good plan.  I thought I would have time before I went to work in the mornings...even if I decided to go to the gym and then go home to get ready.  I had my zumba class with Anita that I was paying for...so the lower cost was a good deal and I wasn't concerned about exercise classes because I had Anita.  I also had a neighbor/Aunt that was going to go with me. I went a few times...but it just has me criss-crossing back and forth across town(yeah, excuse) that just deters me in the morning when I have to be up and out the door by 5:30-6 at the latest in order to do the gym before work. (Have I mentioned how cold and dark it is at that hour???)   In the interim I lost my beloved Zumba class.  My Aunt has moved.  And Planet Fitness was just not working.  So on Wednesday when I left work, I headed there and cancelled my membership.   Within 24 hours I had secured a membership at Golds Gym.   I have been a member there on two different occasions.  I've never had a problem with Golds and have always cancelled the membership for other reasons that have nothing to do with my satisfaction with the gym.  This gym is about a mile from my house.  So that cuts 30 minutes out of the time needed to utilize the gym.  Awesome!  It is a bit more expensive...but with it being closer AND with the option to pick up a zumba class (and other classes), even if it isn't with my beloved Anita, I think I will be ok.

So I made that decision (even knowing that I would have to ante up the sign up fee and that would set me back a bit).  But I forgot to think about the odd noise my car had started intermittently making a day or two ago...I put it on my mental note to have it looked at.  Jason was in my car last night and heard it and was almost instantly convinced that my brakes were going bad (who knew there was such a thing as a "squealer tab' on brakes)  So bright and early this morning I was having my car checked (NO, I'm not messing with brakes...that's kinda necessary).  Yup, he had diagnosed the noise quite correctly.....so brake pads and rotors later and a nice bill......I'm done.  Isn't it fun being an adult??????

I recently read a book.  It was written by Keith Foskett and entitled Balancing on Blue: A Dromomaniac Hiking.  It is basically the story of a European who hikes the complete length of the Appalachian Trail.  It is a pretty good read.   Practical, insightful and just full of fun.  It is good enough that I am planning on reading his book chronicling his hike on the Pacific Crest Trail.   I would highly recommend the book for anyone that is interested in nature, health and just pushing themselves to the limit. (Of if you particularly liked Bill Bryson's book and subsequent movie "A Walk In the Woods" ....or Cheryl Strayed's book and subsequent movie "Wild")  This book is less of the 'bumbling hike that Bill Bryson attempted"  and a little less than the self discovery that Cheryl was looking for.  It is just a guy hiking, thinking, pondering and moving through a life that he doesn't quite understand unless he is lost in the woods!

What brought this book into the spotlight of my blog?   A passage in the book really stuck out at me!  This passage could easily be adjusted...take out 'hiking' and "trails' an instead insert 'weight loss' and 'Healthy lifestyles'  It is really the same!

"If you attempt a long distance hike, the chances are heavily stacked against you and there is a very real chance that you will fail. Most quit in the first month.  They were not as fit as they thought, new gear is chafing everywhere, red -raw blisters make walking excruciating or it's too cold, too hot, too dry or too wet, sometimes for days on end.  I always say push through that first month and if you come out on the other side, chances are you will be successful.  Above everything else, you have to be single minded and totally fixed on your goal to succeed.  If you are mentally strong, can persuade yourself that you're not in pain and can push another mile out, that your hunger and thirst are imaginary, that it really isn't the seventh straight day of being wet and the fact that you badly misjudged your food supply doesn't really matter, then you just may succeed."

Wow...isn't that an absolute parallel to weight loss? 

***The first month IS the hardest...and the time when people give up on weight loss efforts. (Think about the gym in January as compared to the gym in February).

*** We find out it isn't easy.  Our muscles will ache.  Our new 'equipment' isn't as cool and awesome.  

*** We have excuses....it's too hot, too dry, too wet  etc

*** Weight loss IS a study in being single minded in our efforts.  We have focus on it.  We have to say "who cares that I'm whatever....the end goal is out there!

***If we believe we can succeed...we can hike over 2000 miles over numerous mountains.....we can run a 5k, a 10k or even a half marathon....and we CAN lose weight!

Book Review: How I lost 50 Pounds in 6 Months

A while back I picked up a e-book.  I'm honestly don't know if it was one that I picked up because it was free or if it is one that I actually purchased.   And really, it doesn't matter.   What matters is that the other day  I was looking through the library on my I pad and noticed it.   I put it on the back burner in my mind and kept diligently working on the items on my to do list.   Eventually my productivity came to a screeching halt.  Not because I was done being productive, but because my to do list had been completed.    I sat for a few minutes and then remembered this book that I wanted to check out.  I was off and running.

The book?   How I Lost 50 Pounds in 6 Months:  The Story of My May- November Diet  by Dylan Murray.  I started reading.   This guy seems to be pretty easy going, he has a sense of humor and his advice is straight forward and easy to read.   He explains the science behind his plan and success at losing weigh.  He does it with humor and he does it simplistically.     It really is a good book for someone that wants to get a handle on how to start this process.  It is also a good reminder to those of us that have been doing it for a while.....it reminds us of the actual scientific process that we have embarking on.  (Calories in versus Calories out).  He doesn't push high priced anything........in fact he recommends naked dancing.  (yup, gonna have to read to figure that one out!)  He did talk about what he eventually DID purchase (but really...buying the premium membership at My Fitness Pal to stop the infernal ads doesn't count does it???) and he talks about his success.  

Kudos to Dylan for not only taking the steps to figure out the process of losing weight but to also try to impart this knowledge in an obese and overweight world. 

Book Review

I did so good with my eating this weekend. I exercised. I drank my water. So why am I up on the scales? 2.2 pounds in one day to be exact. (yep, I know that there is NO WAY on this earth that I ate 2.2 pounds worth of food yesterday) BUT...I'm not going to worry about it. I'm happy with my eating. I didn't splurge, I didn't break. I ate healthy. I ate wisely. I did good.

I just finished reading a book entitled "Conversations with a Fat Girl" By Liza Palmer. A friend passed it on to me (thanks Lynn). It is a novel. But ohh did this story resonate within me. This girl grew up big and as she got older she have a very active fantasy/dream world...as her escape from her chubby life. Her weight ruled the decisions she made. Her weight ruled the relationships that she had...and didn't have (because of her weight). Throughout the book she learns the most important lesson...that what is inside is the most important thing...and that she can't let her fears, fears that are grounded in her obesity, rule her life.

It made me think. I didn't date much before I met my husband. The dates that I did have were not satisfying. I was uncomfortable and they rarely went further than a first or second date. I had one guy actually tell me (after a few dates) that i would be 'hot if I lost weight'. I actually saw him once more after that (in a dating situation). He is the one that stopped calling me. I did not stand up for myself and was actually sad when he stopped calling. I guess that's all I felt as if I deserved. I've let my weight play a role in my professional life. I've really let my weight dictate so much. In the past few years, I have stood up and started allowing the MaryFran that is inside to shine. But I admit that I still struggle with feelings of inferiority.......not because I think I'm stupid or anything like that. I sometimes feel inferior because of my weight. AND I'm not that big anymore. But the feelings are still there...buried...waiting to come out. For example, last summer when we were at Hershey park. I was at my lowest weight ever. I worried constantly about fitting onto the rides (on a previous visit I could barely fit on the rides...and at one point had to be moved to a special 'larger seat'). That worry translated into thinking people were staring at me...the fat chick waiting in line to ride such and such ride! As the day progressed and I fit onto more and more rides I started to feel better about myself....but each time I went through a turnstile, I felt that moment of panic. I was ruled by something that I KNEW was erroneous, yet powerless to change.

I think part of changing this thought process, these feelings; is to push myself out of my comfort zone. Do things that make me feel uncomfortable and realize that nothing bad is going to happen. I pushed myself out of my comfort zone and went to the spin class. I liked it. :-) A first step toward pushing these self doubts and feelings out of my head!

I was planning on going to an express 30 minute spin class tonight. Sounds good eh? I'm still hoping to be able to go. HOWEVER, Todd called me from the house and told me that the house was cold this morning. For some reason our heat pump (less than a year old) is not keeping the place warm. NOT cool. It's in the 20's...but we've had colder days and have had no problem keeping it warm. Todd flipped the breaker to turn it off...and then he's turned it back on. He had to go to work...so I don't' know what I'll find when I get home. A cold house? A warm house??? Who knows. SOOOO I may be staying at home tonight and waiting for the guy to come and look and see what's happening. ARRGGHHH this is frustrating!

Blah blah bliggity blah

I woke up this morning. My first thought was, "wow, I'm thirsty." Now, I've said this before and I'll say it again. THAT is not a good sign. If your body is telling you that it is thirsty...then you are ALREADY partially dehydrated. It's too late at that point. The only thing you can do is really start drinking to get your self re-hydrated. SOOOO...why in the world I stepped on the scales anyway? Yeah, your guess is as good as mine. So I went from 184.4 yesterday to 185.4 today. A pound up. BUT you know.....it's consistent. That is what I typically weigh if I'm dehydrated...one two two pounds up. Oh well....at least I know. I guess why I still got on the scales...I worked outside all day. I then rode that darn exercise bike.....and I didn't go over my points. Plain and simple, yesterday was a textbook day (well...except for the water consumption apparently). So I was expecting to see good things! Oh well...I can think of worse things. I'm drinkin' it up today...so I should be able to see results tomorrow!

This morning, i got up and messed around the house for an hour or two. And then Todd and I went over to the studio apartment to try to organize and well...just get more work done. We moved from there to here. There was no hurry to get out of there. THEREFORE, as I moved, I kinda just stripped out what I wanted to bring at taht point...only bringing the absolute neccessities first...and then a little here and there as i needed or found the time to do. Well....the kitchen is the one that is just a wreck! So i went over today and gathered up some stuff from the kitchen. I cleaned a bit also...wiped the empty cabinets out...that sort of thing. Slowly but surely I'm making headway. I came home and found a 'home' for all the stuff that I brought back with me. Today it was a lot of tupperware stuff. It all fits, it just requires that my tupperware cabinet be neat as a pin! We'll see how long that lasts! After putting everything away, I made lunch for Todd and I. I work from 2-6 and he leaves to go to work at 6. So I made our main meal at lunchtime today. I made chicken cordon bleau, parslied potatoes, peas and served it with grapes. YUMMY. Throughout that time, I did two loads of laundry and got them out on the line. AND at 12:30 I went out for a bike ride. I've been riding a lot. BUT, I've been utilizing the exercise bike...inside. So at first thought, you'd think......no big deal, indoor outdoor. BUT, my exercise bike is a recumbant style. Yeah, a lot of the muscles used when riding both bikes are similar. HOWEVER, there are some that are used more prevalantly in one versus the other. SOOOOOOO today was my first 'outdoor' bike ride of the year. One word.....BRUTAL! Oh yeah, i also biked on our road...which is more hilly than I am used to. I definitely will miss being right on the battlefield and having all those roads to bike! I can see me driving over with my bike on the rack in order to continue to bike over there. BUT, in the meantime...I will conquer my road!!!!!

Here are some of the passages that I was talking about ealier..the ones that I couldn't find. (gotta love the slow times at work when I can REALLY look for them). The book in reference, "Are You Ready!" By Bob Harper.

In this chapter, he is talking about acceptance. "Right after you accept yourself, you nee dto forgive yourself--forgive al the false starts, failed diets........Then the permission to change becomes an invitation to achieve your goals. When you take the time to reconnect with your body, you creat the opportunity to stay grounded in yourslf, strengthening your connection to your heart, which is vital to making this work."

One thing that stood out at me this week.....he recommends one to sit down at least once a week and think about all the accomplishments you achieved since the last time. Think about the positives...and truely remind yourself of how far you have come.

"Our thoughts are a window into how we conceive of ourselves--our strngths and weaknesses,our limitations and aspirations. And yet most of the time we float from one activity to the next without considering that we can choose to think in a more positive way. As you being to make this shift into awareness you will find that you can also have a direct impact on how you react to certain situations and even how you feel. Our thoughts create our feeligns. And whenyou are trying to get to the root of your relationship wtih food, these thoughts often trigger emotional eating."

And on that same note...our lives are like a garden......and negative thoughts are like a weed. They creep in.....and reinforce bad behaviors such as overeating....and slowly they overtake all the pretty stuff.

Nuggets of information from my recent read!

I feel as if I chose my foods wisely yesterday. We went to a church party last night.....and yes, I did eat a bit there. We ate late though...at roughly 9PM. So, this morning, when I was going about my normal routine, I was getting ready to step onto the scales and decided not to. My reasoning. Number one, I ate late last night. Number two, lets just say that elmination hadn't occured yet! Nuff said!

I just finished a book called Mindless Eating, by Brian Wansink, PH.D. I found the book to be fascinating. It talked in depth about how certain things in our surroundings cause us to be unaware of our food choices, portions, and perceptions. Quite interesting for me, as I'm someone that is working to conquer my food addiction! So, here are some more little nuggets from the book.

If a person believs that a food is healthy, the food has what can be reffered to as a "health halo" where we imbibe in that food becuase it is "healthy". The problem is..this healthy halo frequently causes us to eat something, or more than we would normally eat. In essence, if we eat more of something because of the health halo, then the food is no longer good. I've seen people chose a healthy option of food, lets say the 25% less fat oreos. But they eat 4 instead of one...because it's 25% less which to them equates to being able to eat 3 extra!

The second nugget of information is the ice water versus room temperature water. I'll just do a direct quote on this one versus paraphrasing. "Interestingly, if you load that drink (32 ounces) with ice, you'll actually burn off a few of those calories. Since your body has to use energy to heat up an iced beverage, you actually burn about one calorie for every ice cold ounce you drink. So that 32 ounce drink will take you about 32 ounces to warm up in your body.

The third thing is the types of eaters out there. The first is the meal stuffer. This person doesn't eat badly any other time...but during meals they eat to excess. The second is the Snack Grazer...this person eats anytime food is available. The third is The party Binger. This person eats mostly and heavily at high distraction events. The fourth is the restaurant indulger. This person eats dinner out a LOT! The fifth is the desktop diner or dashboard diner...they are always eating on the run...multi tasking.

I can see myself mainly as a meal stuffer and also a bit of a restaurant indulger! Looks to me like the tips that he gave for these two tips of eaters are things I'm already doing....EXCEPT for the half plate thing...half the plate is filled with veggies and the other half is proten and starch. The other thing that I don't religiously do is to use a smaller plate!!! I'm goign to try to use the smaller plate at Christmas!!!