Pushing onward: weight loss ups and downs

It was so difficult to go back to work after a four-day weekend. But alas, the bills need to be paid so both of us went back to work on Tuesday. We had a great weekend though!

We stayed busy over the weekend. And more specifically we tried to stay active. On Saturday we headed south and went to our favorite little hotel. It is an old 1950s Motel with a small pool. The pool water felt fabulous! We swam or at least treaded water for about 40 minutes. 

On Sunday and Monday both, we went to a bike trail and went mountain biking. 

Both of those days were incredible for different reasons. On Sundays ride I actually was on a trail that I loved doing! (I’ve done it before but this time it was actually joyous!). Sure, there were a few spots that were more difficult but for the most part I just had fun! Monday was a bit more difficult with my legs still recovering from the previous days ride.  But, I still attempted ‘the hill’. There is a hill on a fire road that I have been trying to make it to the top every time we bike in that area.   I try it every time we are there.  My theory is that I will improve every time!   Typically, I make it to about the same spot or maybe one bike length further up the hill… It really is slow progress, but I am persistent!  But something happened on our  Monday ride.   I don’t know what caused the change but I actually increased the distance that I climbed up that hill by about 30 to 50 feet! I was so over-the-top happy. I am still not even halfway up this hill, but I saw a huge leap in my progression!  Bring it on!!!!!

We celebrated Jason‘s birthday this weekend and even though I had showed a gain  on the scales for my official Friday weigh in,I am in this journey to live healthy....or in other words live my life but still make mostly healthy choices.  So yes, I did splurge on his birthday treat. Yes, it was a high calorie treat. One big splurge isn’t going to hurt me, I know that!   His choice? We got Cinnabon. I enjoyed every bite and I feel no regret. That was Saturday night and on Sunday night I bought a package of Reesie’s cups. I planned on just eating one cup that evening. I had calculated my calories and I had more than enough unused calories (remember a big bike ride...lots of earned calories). I was looking forward to my Reese‘s cup. But as I ate  my dinner, I begin to feel full. Oh, I still wanted the Reesie’s cup. However, I knew that I would enjoy it more if I actually wasn’t feeling so full. I also knew that I could have it any other night that I wanted (as long as I had the calories available) and, I knew that if Jason  ate it before I manage to get my Reesie‘s cup that I could just go to the store and buy another one. There was no reason for me to gobble up that Reesie’s cup , not when my body was telling me to stop eating. (And that package of Reece’s cups have yet to be opened!)  That is the epitome of living healthy!  I cut loose and lived this weekend....but I did it in moderation and I listened to my body!  Win!!!

I caved and listened to the weather reports and did not walk on Tuesday, nor did I walk anywhere.  I stayed at my desk like a slug!  Oops!

Yoga continues.   I didn’t do it over the weekend.  I just didn’t have the time...and my muscles got a good workout anyway!  It is still difficult for me but I am pushing through!  It’s going to get better right?  Ok, it had gotten better...I can see some things getting a bit easier!  But I’m still sweating like a roasting pig while I’m doing it!!!

So that is the update.  I’m waiting to see if my weight starts to drop.  It remained up all weekend (nope I showed no gain from the Cinnabon)...crossing my fingers that it starts to drop!  Please please please!!!  

The ups and downs of a weight loss journey.  That is how I would describe this past week or so!  It’s crazy but it is my journey! 

Effort: the effect on weight loss

Effort.  What a simple word.  Defined by the dictionary it means “a vigorous or determined attempt”.    We put forth effort all day and every day.  On those mornings where it’s really cold outside and you just don’t want to get out of bed and have to brave the cold to go to work?   You expend effort to get moving.  You put forth effort when it comes to cleaning your house, cooking dinner, completing your tasks at work.   All sorts of effort is expended.  But what about effort when it pertains to weight loss?  What effort is there?  How do our efforts parlay into success….or failure?

A while back I saw a statement on a blog that I regularly read .  It talked about effort and there was something that stuck out at me….a connection that I made in my head.   I popped the phrase into my data base in my mind and I sat on it a while.  I may be totally twisting what the message was in the original post, but it’s what has come around in MY head from a simple post!  So without further ado, I have two mathematical equations for you.  Ok, don’t panic…they are SUPER easy!

1.         Effort   =  The joy of success

2.        Lack of Effort  = absolute  failure

I told you they were easy didn’t I?  So simply put….if I put in the effort, I can reap the joys of success….but if I fail to even make an effort I fail.  Woah now…. So one brings most probablesuccess and the other one is absolute failure?   What kind of nincompoop would chose the absolute failure?    Who wants to fail?  No one!  It is human nature to want to be successful in all of our endeavors.

So once we get to this point in our thinking we can safely assume that to have success, you must have effort!  I will go further and say that if you never put forth any effort, that you will never be successful.  (I will qualify this by saying that there are extenuating circumstances that can bring around successful weight loss without effort….I mean….we could all have some horrible accident that causes us to break our jaw, requiring it to be wired shut for months……a liquid diet absorbed in pain may do the trick without actual effort!  But the AVERAGE person will need to expend effort to show success!)

Is there risk in the effort?  Well of course.   There is always a risk in pushing ourselves forward and putting effort into something.  But what rewards would you be able to reap if you try????  Amazing, joyful success!  

So it really boils down to a decision.  You can weigh the possible risk with the possible benefits of success?  But in the end, really think about it….because if you never try, what hope do you have of success?   NONE!

David’s Success Story

David and I connected quite a few years ago through this blog and we had some deep email discussions about weight loss and what it meant for each of us.  We have emailed sporadically through the years and just the other week when we were communicating, I was more than excited to hear that he had reached his goal!! David’s story is not about his weight or the numbers on the scale as you will see in his responses. His story is driven by health concerns and the restrictions of those health concerns.

Due to professional reasons, he is choosing to not share his picture, but his story is amazingly inspiring!

What sparked you to begin to lose weight??

I always wanted to be a pilot when I was young. But it wasn’t until my parents offered to pay for my flight training one summer while I was in college that I was able to act upon that dream. I jumped at their offer and went through the training and acquired my pilots license.  However, flying is a bit expensive and with finishing college, then finding a job, paying  for a place to live, a car, and all of life’s expenses; flying took a back seat.  I always thought that I would get back to it sooner or later, but time kept slipping by me.  As I got older and more settled in life I started to occasionally think about flying again.  However by that time I had a medical complication, high blood pressure.  I figured that would prevent me from easily regaining my pilots license. I was placed on medication,which managed the issue but I figured it would prevent me from clearing the medical requirements to regain my pilots license so I never pursued it. Eventually I became prediabetic and started taking more medications to control that.  Of course shortly thereafter the itch to fly really took hold of me. I really missed flying and now that I was a little older and could afford it, I was ready to get back into the cockpit.  So I did some research.  I found that all of my medications were on the FAA approved list.  The only complication was the diabetes.  My blood sugar was being controlled with medication (granted it was a little high, but it was steady). I could get the medical clearance without changing anything, but it would be more difficult and would require special certification.  In order to walk into the examination and walk out with a valid medical clearance (with no special clearance needed) my blood sugar needed to be lower.   That was my goal and my motivation, to get under that magic number so that could happen!

 What was your highest weight?   Current weight?

At my highest point I think I was at 268lb.  Now I am probably around 240.  I go to the Doctor every six months and as long as I weigh the same or less, I know  I am on the right path.  

Furthermore, I have reached the magic numbers to easily obtain my medical clearance. I am currently working on finishing up my training to obtain a valid and current pilots license.

What plan did you follow to lose your weight?

I sort of did my own thing.  I eliminated all sugar, or anything that was naturally sweet (including fruit).  I stopped eating things like rice, potatoes, pasta, and drastically limited my bread intake.  I wasn’t super strict about it.  I would occasionally have those things, and even dessert every now and then.  However, kept them to a minimum.  And I also started  trying to have a NSNG (no sugar, no grain) diet, albeit slightly modified.  I would recommend anyone listen to Vinnie Tortorich (vinnietortorich.com).   I think he has some podcasts of his own, but I would listen to him when he came on Adam Carolla's podcast.

Have you reached your weight loss goal?  If so, how long have you been maintaining your weight?

No, I would say I have some more weight to lose, but I dont have a magic number in mind.  If I stay where I am, so be it.  There is more to health that meeting one particular weight goal.

Do you consistently track your food intake 

No, but I do tend to kind of mentally track it during the day.  So if I splurge a tiny bit at lunch I will eat a better dinner, etc.

Do your exercise regularly?  If so, what do you do?

No I do not.  It is something I hope to fix one day. I will do some things that get me moving around, but not exercise per se.  I have  always hated exercise for the sake of exercise.  Much more willing to go for a hike or bike ride, etc, because I want to do that, not just to work out.

Do you have any words of advice for someone that is just starting out on this journey of weight loss and health?  

You have to commit to it mentally.  I tried multiple times with multiple different diets, and they all worked to some degree, but were far too restrictive to stay with long term and eventually the weight comes right back.   I would recommend just picking something, just one thing, that you like but know is bad for you.  Just cut it out.  Keep everything else the same, and go without that one thing. It could be that can of Coke, or that ice cream, whatever it is.  I am not saying it won’t be difficult.  All habits are hard to break.  But that is what it is, a habit, not a need.  And if you just cut out one thing, the impact is minimal, and after a while you wont even want it any more. After you have broken that habit, it’s time to cut out the next thing.  Do this  until you find what works for you.  Don't go on a diet, change your lifestyle.  Make permanent changes.  In my case, since I have cut out sugar; whenever I do have a sip of something like orange juice or a coke it is way to sweet for me.  I don't want it anymore.  There are still things (like chocolate) that I crave occasionally, and I do let myself have a piece every now and then (or a few m&ms, etc), but just enough to enjoy the taste, and thats it.  And if you do have a bad day, where you just eat like crap, don't worry about it, just reset the next day.  If most of your days are healthy, the occasional bad one will  hardly have an impact. 

 As far as your weight...I would say don't check it every day.  Maybe check it once a week at a consistent time (like just when you wake up but haven't showered).  And don't worry if it was higher than the last reading....you are just looking for a trend over a long period of time.  If you like, plot them on a graph and you can easily see the downward trend.  Its hard to see when you are obsessed with the numbers day to day.  

Is there anything else you would like to share?

As far as weight loss goes I believe that weight loss is 90% diet, and 10% exercise.  Focus on the diet!

Thank you David for sharing your story with us!  Your healthy changes have helped you reach your goals and accomplish your dreams.  Keep up the healthy lifestyle you have set up for yourself and you will definitely have continued succcess.  I’m sure flying is so much sweeter because of the effort you had to exert to get there!   Enjoy your airtime and fly safe my friend!

If you want to read more success stories, check out Lori’s story about how she has been losing weight through Weight Watchers or Crystal who has adopted a slow and steady approach to changing her lifestyle and weight.

Success Story - Lori

Lori chose the stealth mode when she started her weight loss journey.   She made the decision and quietly started to work on her weight.  It was quite a while before she actually announced to the general public (aka Facebook) that she had not only been working on her weight, but had been having some nice success.   As scary as it is to come forward and admit to the world that she was on this journey to health, Lori has showed us that you can have a busy life and have great success!

I had the pleasure of meeting Lori in college.  During my senior year, she and I lived in the same dorm and in fact our rooms were pretty much right across the hall.  Lori was the most vivacious and fun person to be around.  Her creativity and wit were a spark that made dorm life even more fun. (Seriously, who else do you know that would create a non-working fireplace in her dorm room at Christmas to celebrate the holiday!)  As I’ve seen her Facebook posts over the years I can see that the creativity and wit are still a driving part of her personality.   I was working on an idea for a success story page in my head when I saw her most recent post about her success and when I asked her, she very willingly accepted the offer to answer some questions.  Thank you Lori!

What sparked you to begin to lose weight?? I had a picture taken of me with my dad at Thanksgiving in 2016.  Thanksgiving has been tough for me, since my mom passed away and that Thanksgiving was especially hard, because it was the first since my dad had remarried.  I remember looking at that picture and seeing how sad I looked.  I mean, once you get beyond the fact that I was in desperate need of a dye job, I was overweight, sad, uncomfortable in my own skin.  I just didn’t like what I saw.   I also realized at 41, I was only a few years away from the age my mom was when she was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes and High Blood Pressure, that in some ways lead to her having the first of a series of debilitating strokes at the age of 50.  I knew I needed to make some changes in my life. It wasn’t something that happened all at once, but that picture kind of solidified a lot of my thoughts up to that point and haunted me in a way that helped me make the decision to quietly sign up for Weight Watchers about 6 weeks later in January of 2017.

What was your highest weight?   Current weight? My highest weight was 185.  That might not seem like a lot to some, but I’m only 4’10”.  My current weight is fluctuating around 136-140.How much weight have your lost in pounds? 45-49 – again with the fluctuationsWhat was your starting clothing size?  Your current size?  I was busting out of my 16s and fit into a pair of 18s, and now I’m around an 8/10.  I say 8, because I currently own TWO size 8 shorts!  Whoop! 

  What plan did you follow to lose your weight?  (ie weight watchers, slim fast, a plan of your own creation...)  I chose Weight Watchers and it’s been amazing for me.  I totally look at food differently now.  My son is a Type 1 Diabetic and has been since he was 7.  So, I’ve been helping him count carbs for years.  Counting points was an easy process for me to get used to.  It also allows me to have things I like.  In the past, I would give up all the things I liked the most – sugary things, CARBS!  With Weight Watchers I could still have those things, but only enough to satisfy that need and not exceed my points goal for the day.  I like the freedom of choice I have with Weight Watchers.

Have you reached your weight loss goal?  If so, how long have you been maintaining your weight?  I set out to get down to 120, but haven’t achieved that goal yet.  So, this is a work still in process.  I will say that I’ve started to get comfortable with the fact that maybe getting into the 130s is where my realistic, I’m-in-my-40s-now, health goal should be.  Still working that out with myself.

 Do you consistently track your food intake (via online or paperform) I consistently tracked my food daily on weightwatchers.com and their phone app for a solid year.  This year I’ve been hit and miss with my tracking.  Some days I’m great at it, some days….not so much.

 How often do you weigh yourself?  How did you come to that choice for how often?  I weigh myself almost daily.  I went a whole week once without weighing myself and I found I was super stressed by the not knowing and worried that I was gaining. So, I usually weigh myself first thing in the morning as a start to my day.

 What online tools do you use?  Beyond the Weight Watchers website, I use Pinterest for recipes.

Do your exercise regularly?  If so, what do you do?  I work with preschoolers, so in the beginning I just noted my daily steps.  But, I didn’t exercise intentionally until a good 4-5 months into my diet, because I really wanted to focus my energy into changing my eating habits.  Late April of ’17 I started walking with my family.  I now do power walks almost daily and sometimes incorporate jogging with that.  I love my walks!

 Do you have any words of advice for someone that is just starting out on this journey of weight loss and health?  I’ve had a lot of people ask me this question.  I’ve been struggling with my weight since Jr. High.  I’ve done tons of diets and failed at nearly all of them.  I think you really need to WANT it.  To realize that the bite of food you’re missing isn’t worth the struggle and sadness that often accompanies eating it.  I think they need to know that the mental part of a lifestyle/weight loss journey is MUCH tougher than the physical part.  I wasn’t prepared for the mental back and forth.  But, overall, I’d say that taking control of your life and your weight is one of the most empowering things I’ve ever done.  I know that this is not over for me.   My weight and, in turn, food will always be an issue for me.  This is a lifestyle change.  I won’t allow myself to eat like I used to.  I feel too good now to want to go back to that.    

 Is there anything else you would like to share?   I guess it just comes back to finding a way to be ok with this being a long-term goal and not a short term one.  Losing weight has always been about immediate goal-reaching for me.  If I wanted to lose 20 lbs and did, well, then I was done and would go back to eating my favorites all the time (Doritos anyone?), which led to gaining everything back.  This time the difference has been about doing it the right way.  Making life changes to my diet.  So, I’m a year and a half in and haven’t met my goal.  BUT, I’m still working.  I keep working.  I keep being aware of what I eat and when I exercise and look for ways to change things up to make more progress.  And, while the challenge of the mental part of it can be tiresome and overwhelming at times, the food part hasn’t been as hard as I thought it would be.  I still worry about failing.  I think anyone that has struggled with weight in their lifetime knows that Failure is that scary guy in the corner, but I feel equipped now in ways I haven’t ever before.  I’m no one special.  Just a gal who’s been right where everyone else has. The fact that I’ve lost weight in a way that others find successful is still a surprise to me.  

 Thank you Lori for taking the time to share your thoughts and weight loss success story with us.  You truly are an inspiration!  Keep up the great work!

Pain

“I don’t like to go to class with this new instructor.  I am in pain.  I won’t ever come back to that class!”   I heard this refrain time and time again.  Sometimes it is about running.  Sometimes it was about biking.  Occasionally it was about walking.  People would try something new and when it hurt they would whine about the pain and run away. 

  I sit back and watch people when they talk about exercise and fitness.  It's very interesting, even more so because I've been on both sides of the spectrum.  I've been in the camp that "I can't exercise because it hurts me."   So many people start an exercise regime and then back off because of how they hurt.  They wake up the next morning stiff and it's difficult to move.  They stretch and it aches a bit.  They are sore and yes, tired.  So they run away screaming and crying that exercise is not for them.  Some just run away from that particular exercise.  "I can't run because it hurts."  Or "I can't go to zumba because my knees ache."  They run away.  Yes, they are excuses (which I've talked about extensively;  here and here just to name two more recent posts!) And yes, they are valid excuses, these people REALLY do hurt.  I'm not disputing that.  Exercise hurts, plain and simple.  If you are doing it right and really pushing yourself to improve, it will hurt.  The problem is that we as Americans run from pain like it's the plague.  (I'm not talking like pain from a broken foot, or pain from cancer.  Yes, THAT is pain and that is pain that we SHOULD be afraid of.) 

Somehow it clicked with me a few months back.  I realized that I WILL hurt.   It's not really pain as much as it is discomfort (Although when I've really pushed myself it surely feels like pain...but realistically speaking it is more discomfort.)  It clicked that this discomfort was good.  And for some reason I embraced the pain. I embraced the fact that trying something new was going to hurt.  I embraced the fact that running would hurt some days.  I embraced the fact that I would hurt and on a daily basis.  

Somewhere, somehow in the last 100 years or so we as Americans have been brainwashed retaught the belief that pain is a bad thing.   If it hurts, don't do it.  What kind of mentality is that?   How will you EVER succeed if you don't push yourself past a little discomfort.      Our ancestors were not afraid of pain.  Our forefathers sacrificed a lot to settle and survive in harsh territories.  Our ancestors faced unmanageable pain when they  fought for freedom.  History shows that pain was a very real and very present fact of life.  They didn’t run at the first sign of pain.  If they had, we would not be free.   Their families wouldn’t have food.  Our world would not have evolved into what it is today.  

So where did we go wrong?  I have no clue and it’s not really important.   The important thing is to recognize this tendency to flee from pain.   Real and true pain is something that we should be on the guard for.  However, we need to recognize that what we perceive as pain is really progress.

Like I said, I’ve begun to embrace pain.  The beauty of pain is this……by ignoring the aches and pains that pushing my body brings, I have been able to see myself progress further than I EVER thought was possible.   

So how HAVE I learned to push myself past this pain.  The best example is a bike ride I had the other week.  I wanted to quit.  Ohhh, I wanted to quit so bad.  I had a mental conversation with myself.  “Was I dying?”   The answer was no.  “Were my legs in danger of falling off of my body?”   The answer was no.  “So what’s the issue?”   And the answer?  I guess there is no issue!  I pushed through it.  I admit that I was sore and achy.  But that ride gave me a sense of accomplishment that filled me with confidence and self satisfaction.  That ride ALSO helped me gain progress in my long term bike riding goals.  It was a win win.  If I had quit I may not have LOST, but I certainly wouldn’t have won!   I want to WIN!

Curiousity killed the cat

I'm curious.  I have to admit it.  I would LOVE to look at the scales and see if I've dropped.  After all, I had a horrible week last week.  I was up that 1.1 pound all freakin' week.  I did manage to hold onto my weight loss by only gaining 1/10th of a pound.  Yes.  I was up by 1 tenth of a pound.  I'll take it.  But I know that the pounds SHOULD drop.  I hope they drop.  I want them to drop.  However, I'm stepping away from the scales.  No scales for MF until this upcoming weekend.  You see, my curiosity could very work to sabotage me should the scales be in a fickle mood.  In the meantime, I'm continuing onward.  Eating right, exercising and just living healthy.

Today is fausnaught day.  Donut day to those who don't know what a fausnaught  is.  It's all in conjunction with Fat Tuesday.  Get your last donut before Lent.  :-)   Of course I arrive at work and a customer had dropped off a big box of donuts for us to nibble on. They smell soooo fantastic.  But I'm ignoring the donuts.  No sirree!  I don't have the calories for a donut.   OK...technically I do.  I earned calories this morning with my exercise....so I COULD eat a donut and theoretically be OK.  (I looked 360 calories for a peanut butter donut.)  But I don't need a donut.  Nope.  I'm fine.


Exercise.  Did I mention that I've already exercised???  Today I set out to do Day 2, week three of my training program.  I had every intention of following the plan.  I promise!   Week three is a warm up....then a 1.5 minute run...a 1.5 minute then a two three minute runs and walks..back and forth.  It is capped off by another 1.5 minute run and equal walk.  And of course the cool down.   I started. I focused on my breathing.  I had read that it should be a 3.2 ratio.  Three steps of breathing in through nose...and two steps of breathing out through the mouth.  (that seems to be the generally accepted breathing technique for running...it apparently keeps you breathing in on different step patterns so that your body is not always doing a breath in on the same foot....who knows...).  I did the first run segment and felt great.  I walked the walk section.  I picked up my run and started on my first 3 minute run.  I felt great.  At one point I started to get a bit panicky in my breathing but I was able to quickly pull it back under control and was only out of control for a few seconds.  I caught it quickly and early enough and the breathing never became a problem.

 I walked my  first three minutes walking section....and then started running my next three minute segment.  I felt pretty good.  I wasn't fast...I wasn't pretty, but those are not my focus right now.  My focus right now is just doing it...and my breathing.  The second three minute run went by just fine....it went by so good that I kept running.  I was just curious to see what would happen.  I ran through my second three minute walk.    My program then instructed me to run again for my last run segment..the last 1.5 minute segment.  I kept running.  And since I was feeling so good when that segment was over I ran through the last 1.5 minute walk.  I ran (or whatever you call what I'm doing) for 9 minutes.  WEEEE.  I just wanted to see if I could do it.  I could.  :-)  Of course I had to take a picture when I was done.  :-)And when I arrived back at my car....I was oddly disappointed that it was done.

In this case, my curiousity turned into an epic success!

Something + Anything = Everything

The mind is a crazy thing.  Last night I was plotting out my day.  When I say plotting out my day I was planning my food and thinking about my exercise.  Zumba after work was pretty much a non-negotiable thing.  I try not to skip that too often.  But I went to bed with grand thoughts of waking up and exercising for a bit in the morning to kick start my day.  Grand thoughts, grand dreams and actually a great idea.

However, I woke up and I felt like curling up on the couch next to my cat Desi.  (Actually Desi is my husbands cat...he doesn't like me all that much, he sorta tolerates my presence).  My mornings tend to be more on the lazy side.  I lay in bed and read a bit.  I get up and mosey to the couch and play around checking all of my various on-line sites that I visit.  It's a bad habit that formed on the days that I don't have to be at work until 10.  It's one that I know that I need to break. But it's just so tempting to curl up like a cat and sleep.


However, I knew that curling up on the couch wasn't an option. So after I dropped my husband off at the studio (still sharing a car) I came home determined to get on the exercise bike and get some kind of activity into my morning.  I walked through the kitchen and looked at the sink.  There were dishes in the sink.  Yes, dishes!  Dirty ones!  Now mind you, I hate house cleaning..I do it of of course.... but a few dishes in the sink would not have caused the end of the world in my house.  I could have tacked them onto the dinner dishes tonight and it wouldn't have been any skin off my back (it was only two glasses, a coffee cup, a bowl, a plate and a few pieces of silverware).  But no....my mind just said "MaryFran you HAVE to do these dishes now!" So I did the dishes (our dishwasher is leaking and while we know that it is just the intake hose, Todd hasn't gotten around to fixing it......so I am doing dishes by hand).   Of course pushing off exercise was not a problem.


While I was washing dishes it occurred to me that I really needed to make my bed.  Seriously!   No, I couldn't delay making the bed.  I had to do it right then there was a burning need within me.  I had to do it before the cats settled onto the bed for their first cat nap of the day!  Of course, this was once again pushing off exercise but that wasn't a problem was it?  After all, there were much more important things to do!  However I started to realize that my mind was trying to sabotage my efforts to exercise. These things were not important.  You see, I don't always make my bed.  GASP!   But it's true,  sometimes it doesn't get made, and the world does continue to spin on its axis.  So why was I gung ho today?  There was only one thing.  My mind was at war with itself.  Crazy eh?????   I made that bed...determined to go straight to the exercise bike afterward!



Best laid plans though......Of course I had made my discovery about my self sabotaging, so I was thinking about exercise.  And that made me think about zumba......and it reminded me that I didn't have my clothes out for zumba. I pack my clothes and take them to work.  Even though there is time for me to go home to change between work and zumba (about 15 minutes), I know that if I go home I would NEVER make it back out the door.  So of course I took a few minutes to pull out my workout gear.......My mind at this time TOTALLY knew what was happening.  Instead of letting it beat me, I vowed to not let it get me down!   Even as all these thoughts went through my mind I decided that I had to get pictures of my day for this blog.....GRRRR that took a few more precious minutes of my morning.


No fears though.  I STILL got myself onto that exercise bike!!!   It wasn't a long ride.  It wasn't a super strenuous ride.  However, I wasn't aiming for distance and I wasn't aiming for super strenuous.  Tonights zumba is my kick A$$ workout!  This morning was simply to get my body moving.  To do SOMETHING. Any kind of activity was what I was aiming for.  Because 15 minutes or 30 minutes is SOMETHING.  You see, if  you NEVER do it;  you will never get there.  Something, anything equals everything!

I'm still rolling.  Determination rules every step I take.  Failure is NOT an option!!!!!

Weigh IN

I was scared....my last week as I've stated in previous posts was a little bit of a roller coaster ride. I lost big last week...and I celebrated. No, I didn't go out and have a whole cake. Heck, I didn't even have one piece of a cake. BUT, the choices that I made for the first 4 days after the weigh in were not good. I stayed within my points...but I did it by eating really odd. I would use 1 or 2 points for breakfast in the morning..... I ate one or two pieces of fruit for lunch...giving me a one or two point lunch. And considering I have 27 points for the day, I was ending up with Roughly 22 points to eat for dinner. That caused me to pull out all stops and eat what my heart desired. Yes, I stayed within my points...but it was lots of carbs (bread and potatoes) and very few fruits and veggies! And half way through the week, I saw that my weight had risen. Yes....like two to three pounds. It scared me. I didn't want to regain those same three pounds one more time! Heck, I'd already gained and lost them like 3 times! Anyway, I got myself in gear and tried to eat more wisely but I just feared it was too late to change the course of my week....I mean, three days to turn around 4 bad ones. So it was with fear and trepidation that I stepped on the scales last night at my meeting. I was hoping for a loss....crossing my fingers for a maintain....and praying that it wouldn't be a gain. I remained EXACTLY the same! I was so tickled! I know that I have to stay focused this week though. Becuase historically this last month I have had weeks were I maintained or lost or gained .1 or .2 and the next week I gained. I have to stay focused and really OP!

I'm proud that I turned myself around. I would have been pretty devastated to have gained again. I know that I would have caused it...but I'm so disgusted with the way this past month has gone....it's been a rocky road and an emotional one!

A mixture of Happiness and Stress

I'm ecstatic....thrilled...even tickled pink. I had my weigh in last night. I am utterly proud to announce that I lost 3.2 pounds! I am now 211.2 pounds! That is such a huge difference from where I started. Amazing to know that at one point I weighed 295 pounds (on my scales which weighed me 10 pounds lighter than everywhere else...). So I am excited beyond belief to have posted a big loss.....especially knowing that as long as I can post consistent 2 pound losses, then I will make my goal by Christmas. (and if I don't..well, I'll make it by mid-January...or the beginning of February...or whenever).

I'm utterly stressed. A dog recently came under my care. He came under my care becuase the person that we entrusted to take care of him didn't do a good job. (well, I don't know..but the dog got sick and he didn't do anything to help the dog.....the dog is my husbands grandmothers, she is in a nursing home). SOOO I've been trying to nurse this poor dog (big German Shepherd....previous police/prison dog) back to health. I went over there on Monday and "THOUGHT" I saw the dog fall down. I wasn't sure though...I thought he may have slipped. ON Tuesday I was back, to entice him with more treats and good things. The dog was laying against the kennel door....immobile. I actually had to shove (gently of course) to get the kennel door open and shut. I was in tears, it was terrible. I called around and could find NO-ONE to help me with the dog that late at night....I couldn't move the dog...even though he had lost a lot of weight, he still was pretty big and heavy. SOOO, I tried to make the dog as comfortable as possible (blankets and such) and made an appointment for this morning. Yes, the dog is no longer suffering. I hate making the decision to have to 'put an animal down'. It's just way to heartwrenching!

Soooo, I go to work. I'm stressed, very emotional and just plain icky from all that had happened. I just wanted to eat and eat! I didn't want to stop. I actually didnt' do too badly...only 5 points over my daily allotment. AND I exercised my tail end off this evening...and earned 5 points to make up for it. BUT, today was a total struggle!

Looking at the big picture

I can proudly say that I've lost 15.6 pounds since I started weight watchers. That in itself is pretty exciting. But Sallie, my boss was talking the other day and she was like, "MaryFran, you really need to use the TOTAL number of pounds that you hvae lost." I started thinking about it. Yes, the 15.6 is nice to announce. BUt yes, to date, I've lost 68 pounds from my very highest weight! That is pretty darn amazing! That makes me step back and say..."woah, I've actually accomplished something that I can be REALLY proud of!"

Loss

Well.... 2.4 is the magic figure of weight loss for this last week. I was pretty darn tickled with my loss....especially since I made the wild leap from shorts to jeans! (I weighed them because everyone online was talking about it soooo much.....it was 1 pound more). So I can be satisfied that I had that weight loss...AND know that it probably would have been more if I had only worn shorts! Now that I am in jeans though..unless we have an utter hot heat wave...I'm not going back to shorts until next summer for my weigh ins!

We ate at Pizza Hut tonight. I do not feel guilty. I hate (ok, used to hate) thin crust pizza. I have always referred to it as pizza on a cracker...or cracker crust pizza. Well......it is much more point efficent to eat thin crust (although I do honestly love pan and really don't like thin crust). Well...I ate the thin crust...and a small salad. I was actually only 3 points over my daily allowance. I knew I could let the flex points catch those points...however I came home and exercised for an hour and fifeteen minutes! :-) Wooo hooo! :-)

Very Exciting!

I am very excited! I went to my weigh in last night. I weighed in at 3.8 pounds down! Yeppers! That makes a total of 13.2 pounds gone in three weeks. Even better, I started my period this morning. I usually weigh in a bit higher right before that! Soooo, I'm trying not to be too optimistic but it is very hard not to!

First week down

Well, my first week of weight watchers is past me. And 6.2 pounds are gone! Woo hooo. I'm pretty excited because it has been quite some time since I've been able to celebrate a movement downward on the scale. SO this is pretty big for me.

I did quite a bit of exercising thus far this week. I rode the exercise bike yesterday morning for a half hour and then walked/alternately ran for about 30 minutes yesterday. Today I got up and we walked for 45plus minutes. Then I biked to work and biked home. I'm going to try to exercise AT LEAST 30 minutes a day this week...and see how that goes!

BIG LOSS

OK, yesterday I got on the scales and was roughly 229-230. Today, I get on the scales I and my first weight was 219. YES, I about fell of the scales. I got off and jumped back on...sure that there was a mistake. It weighed me the same. Off....on...off on. It was dead on (ok, I don't have the most expensive scales.....but still not dollar store variety...paid about 60 for them...so actually it was like one time it was 220 the next time 219. Back and forth). Todd told me not to look a gift horse in the mouth. :-) I think it is due to the fact that I was stalled in February.....REALLY stalled. I was eating ultra healthy and exercising daily. The only thing that I had stopped doing was drinking my water. When I got sick I fell off the bandwagon and never jumped back on. Well about a week or so ago, I started drinking TONS again. The only thing I can think of is, my body is now used to and expects to get that 64 plus ounces of water so it is not retaining as much water. In essence, it's not afraid that it is going to dehydrate because I am giving it plenty of fluids. So all I can think of is that my body finished shucking that extra water weight! I went through all Feb. with no weight loss (well, i would lose it and then gain that pound back the next day). Then all of a sudden it dropped!

Wooo hooo!