No Regrets and a bit of Accountability

 ​Seriously, I ate it and I have no regrets!

We have been crazy busy the last few days.  I feel like a broken record when I say that. But seriously….   We knew that the weekend was going to be busy, and it was.

My Friday off was one whirlwind!  I got up early like normal and did all my normal morning things.  Jason left for work and I waited.  My mother in law was going to be picking me up at 7:30 and we were driving about 30-45 minutes away to visit a vent and dent store.  I had never been to this one and was excited to go.  We got back at about 11.  I took the dog out, fed her lunch and headed out to do my errands around town.  I got back from that and let the dog out for a bit and then headed out to see my mom.  I got home for good at about 5:45…just in time to start dinner.  

Saturday we had to run to about a half hour south to hit the banks.  (Really, we need to move our banking up to the area we live in!).  We got home and turned right around (after tending the dog) and went no spend time with Jason’s family. (His sister’s family was in town so it was extra special.)   Sunday…I spent a few hours super early making dog food and then we spent  time with my family.     

Sunday is where I ate it!   I caved and I ate a chocolate chip cookie!   It was super delicious too!   I have no regrets!   And I’m super proud because I WANTED a second cookie, but I only ate one!

Monday was a normal work day and Tuesday we had off for Independence Day! It was supposed to be our relax day.  But it turned into the work in the yard day!  We got some mowing done and I spent quite a bit of time at the compost pile. I spent some time turning two compost piles.  The easiest way to turn two 4x4 square piles that are about 2-3 feet tall is to just flip them into n empty area.  So that’s what I did!    This years compost is looking good!   I weeded and did some other things around the yard.  So our relaxing day turned into a yard work day!   But that’s a good sweat!

So now it’s Wednesday and it’s back to work.  It’s like  a second Monday…how yucky is that?  But this second Monday is also a Wednesday…so a hump day too! 

I have been weighing myself sporadically, getting more regular about it.  I’m not writing it down but I am cognizant of what the scales say.  It’s crazy how much the scales are fluctuating from day to day.  I realized this morning that the numbers seem to be slowly starting to trend lower.  Slowly.  But where two weeks ago my high number was typically ending with a 5…it’s now ending with a 0.   So it’s going down!

For the last few months I’ve been trying to figure out some accountability.  I’ve heard a few other people say the same.  So I started a Facebook group.  It is private…so everyone in the world will not be able to see our discussions.  But I would like to offer it up to anyone that is looking for accountability!  I would love to grow it into something that encourages us all to live healthy!

So feel free to join!   https://m.facebook.com/groups/924293735525106/?ref=share&mibextid=SDPelY

Friday Mish Mash

 Friday is here and what a fabulous Friday!  Ok its fabulous because I am off of work today!  I have a scheduled day off.  It's one of those random days that I chose to just take time.  Use or lose and I'm not losing!  (Jason gets a lot less time than I...so those extra days I just use randomly.).     It's been another crazy week leading up to this glorious day!

This week Jason and I have tried a zero sugar diet. Jason wanted to try and has been gung ho to hit it hard.  He is all 'no carbs and no sugar and no artificial sweeteners.'   I tried it.   I gave it the gung ho go.  However, those packets of flavor that I put in my water are still instrumental in me being able to get  a healthy amount of water, even though they are artificially sweet.  I tried it without and the water was a colossal failure.  Therefore, within a day or two I was back to my flavored water!    I also found that for me to cut carbs and sugar INCLUDING fruit was too much.  I found myself eating less healthy!  (I see you chips and crackers!)   Therefore, I have given up on the zero sugar mission. I will continue on with the low sugar meals that I've planned out.  They are healthy and there is no reason to "Add" sugar.  But it is in the simple things like the piece of fruit to appease my hunger versus grabbing a handful of potato chips!   So the attempt to go zero sugar is not a failure, it's simply an adjustment to live with less sugar but not concerned about zero sugar!

Jason and I did go out with a bang on the night before our quest to go zero sugar.  I made a banging awesome cake!  It is an Elvis Inspired Cake.   Banana-Chocolate-Peanut Butter.   Does that not sound heavenly?   Let me tell you, it was!

  As I said this past week has been crazy busy.  Lots of yard work.  Lots of mowing.  Lots of time out with the dog.  Lots of housework.  And of course my normal job.  I was tickled to see that my prickly pear that we cut and started indoors last year.  We planted it outdoors in the succulent garden this spring and Jason has been telling me that it's dead.  In fairness, I think it's wishful thinking, because he got attacked by the fine nearly invisible prickles of the prickly pear and I don't think he has ever forgiven that innocent plant!   BUT, I was super tickled to see new growth!  It's not dead!!!!

Zoey the newfoundland puppy is doing well.  She is growing like a weed!   She doesn't realize her size though and is pretty positive that she is a lap dog!

I have been coninuing my quest to run.  I have been going out regularly.  I'm not going to say I'm enjoying it yet.   I'm also not going to say that I look forward to it.  It's also definitely NOT easy.  But I'm doing it!  I'm trusting the training program and I know that it will get better and easier!

So my day off, a little bit bitter sweet.   It will be one year ago that I last spent a 'normal' day with my mother.  This weekend marks on year since her stroke.   Life has changed drastically for her.  She is not happy with her life and that makes even visiting her at the place where she is at difficult.  So if I want to be honest with myself,, I lost my mom a year ago.  She is still alive and still in my life, but where she is in life with her capabilities (both menally and physcially) and her misery honestly means that I lost my mom.  Irregardless, I will still continue to visit her.

OK, off to enjoy my day off. Mowing, cleaning, shopping and a visit to my mom.

Still at It

 ​I’m still at it in terms of my exercise.  However, I may have  been lulled into a false sense of security!  

I used to run and loved it.  Well, of course I had days where I didn’t love it.  But I did love how it made me feel.  Refreshed, clear minded, powerful and successful!  I have missed it and decided it was time to restart!  I knew better than to think that I could jump in and just run. I knew that I had to start with some semblance of a training plan.  I have used the couch to 5k thing in the past and if you trust the training it really does work.  So I found a version of that and I started and that first run went great!  I could have done double the amount they wanted.  I came home and cleaned the house with an energy that was unheard of.  I wrote about how easy it was!   It was so easy that I was chomping at the big to go on my  next run!  (Which was pretty much a repeat of the first run in terms of run/walk minutes and length)   However, run two was not quite as easy. My legs felt it a bit!  I didn’t let it stop me though.  I completed run 2….and I headed out two days later and completed run 3!

Why yes, I was wearing the same clothes that I wore in run one!  But I promise you, they had been watched! Tomorrow is run 4.   I will go out and do it…pending the weather, which is iffy.  And if I don’t do it tomorrow I’ll still be inside working out during that scheduled  time and run 4 will happen at the first available time!

Today was honestly the first time I have tracked in quite a few weeks.  I’ve just been eating somewhat intuitively.  I’m cognizant, but just haven’t kept track of calories.   Surprisingly, in the last week or two I have seen my weight start to drop.

Which brings me to my final thought for the day.  I have always been a huge fan of weighing myself everyday.  In the last month or so I have not weighed daily.   It’s been a bit liberating.  I’m not sure how long the random weigh ins will last.  I fully expect to at some point go back to daily weigh ins, but for now it’s working for me.

A book Review: Fear of Failure

 

I saw the book The Fear of Failure by Wilda Hale and I knew I had to read it.  It should come as no surprise to anyone that has been reading my posts....I've talked a lot about failure recently!  To read this book, was a no brainer decision!

Anytime you are reading a self help book, you can't help but hope that it will solve all the problems in your life and the world.  I was no different as I picked up this book.  I would love to overcome my fear of failure.  I would be tickled to live a full life that does not include holding back out of fear.  This book was not the perfect solution but it really goes into why we fear and what that fear does to us.   As I read I could see myself and I could see why I  am afraid of failure.  I could see how I'm afraid to reach for things because of failure. The book emphasizes the fact that failure is something EVERYONE deals with.  It gave examples of various failures, sometimes multiple times of  people that are hugely successful.   The book reminds us that what we sometimes only see the success and not the years of failure that proceeded the success.  The difference between a successful person is that they are not afraid to fail.  They accept the failures and the rejections as part of the process and keep going.  We see the success and think that it is all success, so we beat ourselves up over our failures. The ultimate example of a successful person was shown in an iceberg picture.  You see the iceberg above the water and that symbolizes success.  What we don't see is the huge mass of iceberg UNDER the water and out of sight.   The out of sight part of the iceberg is the failures that it took to achieve the success.    The person that is afraid of failure will either never try because they don't want to fail, or they will try once fail and give up.   

Feeling like a failure has such long arms as it wraps around us.   The author sited a study/experiment that was completed.  In this experiment they gave a group of people the same size slice of pizza..just one slice to eat.   The group was split into two groups.  Those that thought the slice of pizza was huge and those that thought the slice of pizza was small.  After the participants ate their one slice of pizza they were given access to cookies.  They were not limited to one and could eat as many cookies as they wanted.   The group of people that believed that they had eaten a small piece of pizza as a whole ate LESS cookies than the group of people that believed that they had indulged in a super big slice of pizza.....even though the slices of pizza were the exact same.  The difference was that the people that ate the slice of pizza  that they perceived as huge thought that they had failed and threw their hands up in defeat and they ate cookie after cookie.  The group that thought that they have kept in line and been successful with their 'small' piece of pizza felt empowered and strong and successful and they ate fewer or no cookies.   The size of pizza that each group ate was the same....what was different was the feeling of failure!    Woah....can I ever relate to that one!!!!

This book ended each chapter with take away concepts and it included some activities to do.  (Honestly, the practice of 100 days of rejection...even 10 days of rejection scared the living daylights out of me.  This challenge was to LOOK for rejection at least once each day.  You can do this by asking a stranger for $1.  Or asking a restaurant to do something crazy with your food.  Things that will usually elicit a rejection.   Through the challenge a person will supposedly learn that rejection isn't a bad thing.). 

All in all, this book was a good one for me to read.  I am still afraid of failure and rejection.  I'm still afraid to try.  But the book, The Fear of Failure gave me some hints and tricks to try to overcome those fears and at the very least helped me to realize that what I fear is a normal part of life. 

That was Easy

​It has been absolutely no secret that I have been soul searching lately.  I’ve been seeking answers to deep questions.  I’ve been desperately looking for solutions to my weight issues.  I’ve been longing for a return of my awesome fitness level. I want to be happy.

Wait, what  fitness level am I talking about?   You know, the fitness level that I was at when I met Jason.  The level that allows me to run 5 miles at sunrise get home and immediately push mow for an hour before breakfast.  Go inside to cool down, shower and eat breakfast before heading out to hike with Jason for 6,8 or 10 miles.  It didn’t faze me!  (Dang, I was a machine!).   But I took a job with a 1.5 hour (if traffic was kind) commute….my running time disappeared.  Life happened and my fitness level slowly disappeared.   

Hand in hand with my fitness level is that I KNOW that my head is more clear when I’m running and hiking!  Seriously, I composed (in my head) the absolute best posts while I was running.  I had the most amazing epiphanies  while I was running.  Life’s problems faded while I was running.  Life seemed better and the endorphins I got from running made life better.

I’m struggling with an overwhelming sadness and depression.   I’m fighting it, but I want to overcome it.  So my mind went back to running.  I honestly miss running.  I’ve said that quite a few times over the last few years.   But I didn’t want to start running because I don’t want to ‘beat up  my body’.     I tried a few times and it hurt!    But just recently we have been watching ultra marathoners on YouTube.   They are pushing themselves to the max…through pain.  Through hell.     And here I am worried about a wee little pain?

So this morning found me lacing up my running shoes.  I decided to restart a couch to 5k style program.   I honestly think that was my problem when I was trying to run in recent years.  I was trying to pick up where I left off and it wasn’t working.   I know that if I start slow and build that my body will handle it better.  So that is what I did, I’m starting at the beginning.    The program I’m following had me warm up and cool down with a 5 minute walk and then I did an alternating walk and run, one minute each..back and forth.  I was expecting pain and misery.     I was super surprised.   It was, dare I say it….easy!    Not bad at all!!!

I can only say thank you to my weekday workouts…the ones that I do at 5:30 in the morning, religiously!   They paved the way for a smooth and easy transition.   I honestly probably could have gone longer.   But nope!   Trust and follow the training plan!   But, the crazy thing?  I am excited and can’t wait to get out there for my next run!!!!!

One Month of Books (Reading May 15 to June 15)

 I actually managed to read quite a bit in the last month.  I expect my reading to slow down in the next month or two.  But then again, maybe not as I always have my ipad near me and pick it up in those few minutes of down time whenever I can.  (I honestly prefer reading to watching tv).  I also realized that I was a lot more heavy on non-fiction than normal this month.   Quite interesting.  :-)

So what did I read this last month (from May 15 through June 15)?   Here goes..... (book links are amazon affiliate links) :

Friends, Lovers and the Big Terrible Thing: A Memoir by Matthew Perry.  I picked up this book out of curiosity.  I had heard that there was a memoir and wanted to read about America's friend.  the book talks about his life from the very beginning and through his early times as an actor and of course it took us through his years as Chandler on "Friends".   It was actually  a sobering read to realize that so much of his drug and alcohol problems happened while he was appearing before us each week on our television screens.  

The Spare by Prince Harry. I read this book not because of any great love or hatred toward Prince Harry.  I have always been ambivalent toward him.  I simply read this book to see what everyone was really talking about.  As I said, I was ambivalent toward him and his supposed plight before reading the book.  However, after reading the book I lost every shred of respect for him.  I'm not saying that what happened wasn't true.  I'm sure there are aspects of truth within the book.  But, his attitude of entitled privilege really made me sick to my stomach!  He started his story at his mothers death and referred to her constantly, almost as if in an attempt to garner sympathy.  Oh yeah, and I was extremely bothered by a grown man in his 30's referring to his mother as Mummy the whole way through the book.  

Only when I step on it:  One Man's Inspiring Journey to Hike the Appalachian Trail Alone by Peter Conti  This non fiction book is written by a man that was in an accident that left him dealing with chronic pain and unable to walk any distance.   For some reason he decided that to heal himself he had to hike he complete Appalachian Trail.   So, with only a few weeks' notice, off he went.  His book is an honest look at his hike and his journey to a healing, if not the healing he expected.

Walden on Wheels:  Onthe Open Road from Debt to Freedom by Ken Illgunas.  I really enjoyed this often humorous look at the journey to being debt free that the author took to be free from student debt.  The book takes a serious look at the great institution called the student loan and how it affects new graduates.  The book walks us through the authors sometimes radical lengths to become and remain debt free.   While it may be too crazy for most to complete the journey that the author did, it is a real reminder that if we want it badly enough, we can make it work.

A Stranger in the Woods: The Extraordinary Story of the Last True Hermit by Michael Finkel  This is an absolutely fascinating account of a man that went into the woods and had little to no (if you can count 1-2 times of saying or waving hello to someone) contact with another human for more than a quarter of a century. He survived in a tent year round and lived off of the more than 1000 burglaries that he committed during his time in the woods. Yet, this story is written by a man that conducted multiple interviews with the hermit   I was fascinated from the first chapter and my interest only grew as I read.  I was actually left wanting to know more about the hermit and what happened to him after the hermit broke off contact with the author.   Absolutely fascinating. 

Doctor Ice Pick by Claire Prentice   I decided to read this book for two reasons.  Number one it refers to the insane asylums in West Virginia and in particular the Trans Allegheny Lunatic Asylum in Weston,  West Virginia. It had been on my bucket list to visit that historic site for years and finally in 2020 I got to visit (you can read about that visit here). The other reason was that I have read books by and about patients that endured a lobotomy by this doctor.  Yes, this is a true accounting of the doctor that committed the lobotomies back in the mid 1900's.    This book was sobering in that it shows how much faith we put in the medica profession, but in realty sometimes those professionals do not have our best interests in mind!   

There's a Bear in the House by Walter Kirn  This book was the biggest disappointment of the month. The writing was choppy and disjointed.  This made the book hard to follow.  It was thankfully short...but can be summed up in about three sentences.  Man goes to cabin in woods to die and sees bear outside bedroom window.  Man dies.  Bear breaks into house and does no damage.     There you go......I just saved you the time!

The Lodger by Valerie Keogh  The first fictional book of the month, and that is odd for me as usually I am heavier on fiction.   This was a quick easy read.  There were one or two things in the beginning that was a bit predictable.  However, the book led us through a bit of a mystery that included a missing woman, a dead body and some serious accusations.  I was kept guessing the whole way through the book as to the true perpetrator of the crime (s).   The book wrapped up a bit fast in an unexpected and somewhat unbelievable way though.   While I was happy to have a resolution, I was disappointed in how it was revealed. 

Natural Nutrition for Dogs and Cats by Kymythy R. Schultze  I picked up this book to try to get a bit more guidance in the prospect of feeding our Newfoundland Puppy a homemade and more natural diet of food. About 2-3 months ago we switched to a homemade food (that I make every few weeks and freeze in daily portions) in an effort to relieve some of her intense itching (she was hairless in some areas due to her incessant digging). So this book was important as I want to make sure that I am feeding Zoe exactly what she needs in order to live a healthy and long life.  The book was more geared toward feeding a raw diet to your dog (or cat), which is based upon the theory that in the wild these animals would be eating raw.  However, I'm not quite there to feed raw, so I will keep cooking her food....but regardless the information was spot on for what I need to make sure that I'm feeding my very large baby. 

 

The Summer House:  By Keri Beevis  Another fictional book.   This is a 'who done it" style mystery.   There is angst between family, friends and enemies.  There is an old murder that is looming over everyones heads and a mystery that really does have one guessing as to who did it!  The summer house is the scene of all the badness from the original murder of a young girl to the main character who is back at the scene years later to prepare the property for sale.  Who to trust though...your enemy, your friends, your family or even a stranger?

I'm not sure what I'll be reading this upcoming month yet.  I sometimes get a list of books that I have stacked up and waiting, but lately I have gone online to the library website and just find a book on the fly to read.  Sometimes I line up two at a time, but lately nothing more than that.  

For more in depth reviews, you can check out 'my library'.  I have decided to start keeping a review on the books I read.   I read so much that I sometimes forget what I thought of a book.  

 

When the Going Gets Tough...

I have come to realize that I have a really bad trait.  I have a tendency to want to quit when things get difficult.   So yes, when the going gets tough, MaryFran wants to run. 

I actually picked up on this trait about two years ago. It happened when I got placed on a verbal warning for doing something that I was TOLD to do by my superiors.  I actually had written documentation proving my case.   Yet, while they took away the time frame from my verbal warning, so I was no longer on any probation, I was informed that it was not possible to remove it completely from my records. I was beside myself.  I have NEVER in all my life received a verbal warning for something.  I am the kind of person that follows the rules and toes the line.  I try my hardest to do what is right and best.  I pride myself on my ethics.  So this threw me for a total loop.  I was absolutely gutted and ready to quit my job.  I was actually looking for another job, seriously looking as in applications were out and I even interviewed for another position.   Things got tough and I wanted to run in the opposite direction.  Through no fault of my own, I felt like a huge failure and loser. 

Eventually, my anger and frustration and feelings of failure began to subside. As those feelings began to fade, the job search slowly faded away.   

About two months ago I was moved to a different team at work.  It is doing the same type of work, but a different system, different rules, different expectations.  The team I'm moving to is incredibly busy.  So busy that I was on the team for 2 months before they really started to properly train me as there was no one available to conduct the training.  About two weeks ago they had someone train me in one process.  The person began the training by saying "To be honest with you, they walked me through the process yesterday so that I could train you today"  She had no clue what was happening. It was the blind leading the blind. I was super stressed for the following week as I KNEW that I was not trained correctly but was expected to be doing the work.   After a week they started to come back to me.  All I heard was negative "Maryfran, remember you have to do this",  "Maryfran remember, on this team we don't do it that way", "Maryfran you missed this." and "MaryFran you did that wrong".   CONSTANT.  I bite my tongue and I  didn't point out that the one example that they gave me to use as a guide was a perfect carbon copy of the work that I had done and that the sample was incorrect.  No, I am new, I am not throwing someone under the bus and making enemies!  I also didn't get snarky and say, "it would be easier to remember something if you would actually tell it to me before you expct m to do it." No, I kept my cool and allowed them to continually hit me with my wrongdoings.  And I started to look for another job.    Because, when the going gets tough, Maryfran gets going.

Luckily, they have for some reason started to officially train me (the last two work days).  So things have gotten better, I think.  

But it made me realize how afraid of failure I am.  How utterly messed up I am when I THINK I'm failing, even if it's a failure that is no fault of my own.  (And just for the record, the two failures I wrote about were not my fault, but I have failures that are by my own doing....I am not perfect....believe me, I talk about failure on here all the time.....even here)  When I feel like a failure or face failure, I tuck tail and flee.   Not cool, because sometimes coming through those times of failure and facing possible failure can lead to greatness.   What am I missing out on in life because I run away?

Is that part of my self-sabotage issues with my weight loss?   Am I running away (self-sabotaging) because I am facing potential failure and forgetting the possibility of amazing success if I stick with it???

Doritos, I’m looking at you!

​It’s time for some straight talk.   It’s time to figure out what I want, or should I say what I really want!    Weight loss is hard!  It’s the hardest thing in the world.   It requires amazing mental willpower.  It requires astronomical amounts of determination.   It requires our whole mind, body and spirit at times.  Losing weight is not for the faint of heart!  But I know from experience that the end result is better than anything I could imagine!   I know that the difficulty makes all the pain and hard work and yes, sheer grit worth it.   But why does it have to be so difficult?

I’m working on getting my mojo back.  I’m being a lot more cognizant of my food choices.  I’m tracking, for the most part!  It’s the parts that I am not tracking that is killing my efforts.   Doritos, I’m looking at you!  Mr. Cake, your getting the stink eye!   

I know that some of the unplanned and the un-tracked indulgences are stress related indulgences.  The Doritos were shoveled into my mouth while tears coursed down my cheeks.  The cake, well baking is my therapy; eating the cake is  too!   That is no excuse though.  I should have known better.

All I can say is that I’m here.  I’m working through these emotions. (Or trying to…) and every minute is a chance to start fresh again.   I’ll keep restarting and vowing to conquer this weight loss thing as long as it takes.

I once wrote that weight loss is a series of battles.   Sometimes you have to lose some battles to position yourself better for the next bigger battle.  Sometimes you have to lose a battle because a lesson needed to be learned about your enemy.  But it’s not really the individual battles that count.  What counts is that you win the war!

Doritos aside…(they are gone)….refocusing…heading into battle once again!

Finding Balance

 A few weeks ago, I wrote a bit about how I sometimes think that weight loss has overcome my life.  I sometimes feel as if that is my full identity.  I am simply a weight loss person.   I can see how that would happen as I am working on year 18 of posting about my weight loss journey.   But there is more to me than that and I want to really explore those other sides of me a bit more fully. I'm on a quest to find balance in my life.  So buckle up, it's time to explore and get back to the basics.   Ok, that sounded way too dramatic.  It's nothing that crazy, I just decided to purge what isn't working and rediscover what brings me joy and happiness.  In small ways these things have been discussed over these last 17.5 years, so it shouldn't come as a shock.  

Purge and Rediscovery

The quest to purge and rediscover started from two events.  The first was a conversation that I had with my mother.   Mom had a stroke about a year ago, and it has been a really rough ride for her (for all of us).  She is unhappy and miserable with her life.  I was talking to her about happiness and how we have to look for happiness sometimes in our lives.   I was talking to her (which fell on deaf ears unfortunately) but my words came right back around to slap me in the face.   What am I doing in my life to make myself a happier person.  Sure, I'm happy and totally in love, but is there a limit to happiness?  Shouldn't we always be striving for more?  What do I do on a daily basis that makes me happy?   What COULD I be doing to bring about more happiness?

The second thing that set my mind a spinning was all centered around some of my belongings that I have in storage.  When I got divorced back in 2014, my brother allowed me to store some of my belongings in the upstairs of his workshop.  I have gotten some of the stuff over the last few years, but some of the 'odder' things have remained up there.   I have my thin clothes, canning jars and supplies, cookbooks, my medicine bottle collection, and who knows what else. The other week I was up there getting some jars for canning and making plans to get that stuff out of there to free up his space.  Obviously, some of the stuff will be used eventually. (I WILL fit into those clothes again!)   But I have decided to purge a fair amount of the stuff.  It is time to simplify my life. Remove the excess.  Excess only weighs us down and really does not bring us happiness.  There was a time where collecting medicine bottles did bring me happiness, but it doesn't anymore, so it's time to purge and move on.   So, it's a season to purge from my life that which is not necessary or is not bringing me happiness.

Rediscovering Photography

I used to do so much photography.  I loved it.  It was my salvation and outlet during a sad time in my life.  When I was able to move past that sadness, I almost couldn't bear to pick up the camera.  It was almost as if I had poured all of my sadness into the camera through my photography.  For a few years after my divorce, I would try to pick up the camera, but the sadness seemed to hit me every time I touched the camera.  It was easier to walk away and not dabble in photography than to deal with the sadness that came from nowhere. (Seriously, the camera oozed with sadness).   Over the years, I have carried my camera along on vacations and hikes and slowly the camera has become something that is more fun for me.  I think it's time to get back to photography.  My skill level with different settings has all but disappeared.  I'm hoping that it will come back quickly!  But I have been having fun the last few days with my camera!

I have toyed with trying to do a photo a day project, where I take one picture every day.  I did that years ago and actually managed to take a picture a day for two or three years.  I loved the process, but it got dull and boring some days to find something to photograph.  I work from home which makes my world during the week quite small.   I don't want something so restrictive.  I want to take a picture because I enjoy it, not because I NEED to!   So instead, maybe I will just aim to have a collection of good pics each month...no stressing on the number though.  

Reading Like Crazy

I never really lost reading.   I have never been far from a book, even in my darkest moments.  But sometimes in the hustle of life reading gets pushed on the back burner.  I love love love to read!  I always have and I don't want it to get shoved to the back burner.  I have recently decided to write a short review of each book I read.  I'm doing it for a few reasons.  Number one, because it keeps me writing (another thing I enjoy).  But secondly, it will also will give me a document that I can refer to when I can't remember if I read a book and/or what the book was about.  I am posting those on a different site but am toying with pulling them to this site and consolidating everything into one place!  I have been reading like crazy since I started this.  It is a nice way to wrap up the book, in my head at least.  

I just finished reading the book  Doctor Ice Pick which is a sobering read about the doctor who completed thousands of lobotomies across the country.  I've been reading a lot of non fiction lately but feel it may be time for a quick mindless fictional read! 

Simple but Tiring

I was walking through the yard the other day and realized that our mulberries trees are producing ripe berries.  I was not going to let that go to waste!  My father used to make a big deal about picking mulberries and eating them.  I honestly don't recall him taking them home, but it was always a topic of conversation when they were in season and I remember him eating them. So, it was with memories of my father that I took my bowls and containers outside and picked mulberries.  Of course I ate a few while I was out there. But I had grand plans for my berries.   I turned those berries into jelly and syrup!  I have lots of jars preserved!  It is so simple and basic but utterly rewarding.   It was also incredibly tiring.  My body was so tired! Wait, maybe I should say that I have about 30 jars of syrup and about the same amount of jelly.   So it wasn't just a single batch!  It was good honest fun!  And so tasty too!

Weight Loss

I am not forsaking my weight loss roots.  Being healthy is a different form of happiness.  Weight loss is still a big part of my life.  I have been struggling of late.  My weight has been in the same 3-5 pound range.  I know that while I'm not eating horribly that I could be doing a whole lot more. So today I got serious and dusted off my tracker.  Well, I virtually dusted it off.  I started putting my food into myfitnesspal.  I have been woefully lacking in consistency of late.  Tracking for me is the first step.   Baby steps.  I can do this!

Balance

So much of life is simply a balancing act.  Over the years, my focus and attention shifted to one aspect of life; creating an unhealthy balance.  It's time to bring it back into balance and focus on more of what makes me the happiest version of me.  So stay tuned, I will be continuing to share the ups and downs (hopefully more ups) of a weight loss journey.  However, I will also be sharing more of my other side.  My pets, my husband (what he will allow me to share), reading, photography, writing and a little bit of everything else.  

 

Badass or Big Buffoon

Monday marks seventeen and a half years that I have been writing about my efforts to lose weight.    Wow, just writing that makes me feel like an old timer!   I have had success but I have had a lot of failure, yet I continue to write.  Does that make me bad ass or a buffoon?  I mean, it could go both ways.  And how I feel about my weight loss journey vacillates between the two options.  

The Argument for Buffoon

 How many times have I restarted this weight loss journey? Yet I’m no closer to the end result.  I remain full of desire to lose this weight and regain a healthy life, yet I fail time and time again.  It is rather embarrassing to keep writing about failure after failure, yet the buffoon in me keeps writing about my downfalls and my defeats.  

Plans have been plentiful.  I will count all my habits and assign points to them.   I will follow a plan for intermittent fasting.    I will ride my bike 2022 miles in 2022. There is always a new plan to make myself healthy.  The fact that I have to come up with a new plan so frequently points to buffoon, because a new plan indicates that my previous umpteen plans have failed. 

The Argument for Badass

I honestly sometimes think that the sheer longevity of this blog is enough to make me badass.   The numerous posts show that I never gave up.   I haven’t let failures slow me down on my weight loss efforts.   I am not a failure, because I never quit…I’m badass.  

While there have been failures, I have also had successes!  I did manage to complete my 2021 miles in 2021, and I did it a few months early!  I have run 5k’s and 10k’s.   I have ridden a mountain bike on trails that terrify me!  I have had periods of high success with my efforts.  I’ve done amazing things! I have been a badass!

Badass or Buffoon

I guess the answer lies in my feelings on each individual day.  Some days I will wear the title of buffoon while I write about a failure once again.  But other days I will feel like a total badass as I conquer some trail, or challenge or see the scales showing me down a pound or two.   That is part of this rollercoaster journey of weight loss and I will just have embrace the feelings as they come, even while striving to ensure that there are more and more badass days and fewer buffoon days!

Confidence

​Even my dog senses my lack of confidence!   Seriously!    We have noticed differences in how Zoe reacts to each of us.   Jason sternly instructs her to stop or whatever and the dog meekly obeys.   I attempt to sternly instruct and she ignores me.   No, he hasn’t beaten her to put the fear of God into her or anything, she just chooses to ignore me sometimes.    I have learned that I have to literally get in her face, look her in the eye and make my voice as stern as possible to make her listen.   Yes, I know, Zoe is trying to exert her dominance….and my lack of self confidence makes it easy for her to win.   I don’t want an out of control dog, so I am having to force myself into a self confident being, at least when I am working with her.

Yes, I have known that while at one point that I have a self confidence issues.  Oh, I used to be somewhat confident and willing to try new things, put myself out there, walk with my head held high and all that.  But that confidence has wavered.  Ok, saying that it has wavered is putting it mildly.  It virtually became non existent.  Life just beat any self confidence straight out of me.   There was the great teaching debacle and the repetitive lackluster experiences in my career.    Then of course there was my  first marriage where my ex repeatedly showed me that I was worthless through his disregard for me.  (Isn’t that a nice way of putting it?).    I have had quite a few situations where people have worked to undermine any self confidence that I had managed to scrape together.  I have had numerous people put me down and constantly tell me that what I do is never good, I’m not enough, etc.  when possible I have actually purged those people from my life, sometimes it’s impossible.  And of course being obese sucks the confidence out of a person.

I know that the lack of confidence will grow when I lose weight.  It did before when I lost weight.  But in the meantime, how does one grow a self confidence?     It’s a vicious cycle, because I know that my lack of self confidence plays a part in my weight loss efforts.  It plays a huge part.   I’m constantly thinking, I can’t do it, it’s worthless to even try, I’m not worth the time, etc!   And that is the crux of the matter in my perpetual weight loss struggles of late.   Sure, temptations hit me (I’m talking to you cake) but if my self confidence and self worth were stronger it would make a huge difference in what choices I make.

I don’t have the answer….except to fake it until I make it.

Kick in the Teeth

​When life kicks you in the teeth it’s all about you you keep going.   I’ve written about something similar before when I have said , we can’t control what happens to us, but we can control how we react to it.   This past year has been a living testament to that saying.  It has been one heck of a year!

This past week we celebrated the first year anniversary of owning our house.    I could only laugh because a year ago it was about 512 degrees outside while we were moving!  (Ok, maybe that’s a bit of an exaggeration.)  This year the weather was sunny and cool!  I would have loved to have had the cool weather last year, but we  persevered and did it.  (It was the longest move ever as we literally took 2 months to completely move out of our apartment …we finished up the day before our lease was up!). The year anniversary caused my mind to reflect and look at the last year and it’s challenges and victories.

The challenges started with the move to our new house and the unending mowing duties.  I was so tired and exhausted I. The first weeks that I would literally sit on the couch and cry. On more than one occasion I was too exhausted to eat, and for me that is very telling!  That was challenge number one.    The challenges grew harder with my mom’s stroke, the fear about possibly losing my job (twice), Jason’s run in with an axe, the worry about him and then the ensuing financial battle as he didn’t work for quite a few months. 

I would like to say that I handled everything with grace.  I would love to say that I accepted every challenge with a pep in my step and an ‘I will overcome’ attitude each time.    Some challenges I totally nailed!  I accepted them and allowed greatness to happen.  The exhaustion from the constant move and the unaccustomed hours of yard work I totally rocked!   Sure I cried from the sheer exhaustion, but I kept going. And something amazing happened.   The pain in my body started to fade!   I got stronger!  What was difficult turned easy!  I stayed positive and I became a better person!

Like I said though, some of the challenges I struggled with. I have battled with depressive feelings this year as I have worried about finances.  Hello, we were down a paycheck for about five months and for about 6 months the longevity of my paycheck was in question.  I wish I would have taken those challenges in hand a bit better. Luckily it wasn’t a total failure on how I faced those financial challenges.  I stressed and obsessed a lot.  It would be in waves…sometimes I would be a nervous wreck and at others I would be ‘we got this’.  And I know that I probably drove Jason mad with my worry at times. But for the most part I allowed my fears and worries to rule my thoughts and actions. What could have happened had I not let the stress rule my life?

My mom has faced the biggest  challenge of her life this last year.   Life kicked her in the teeth.  She has fallen apart.  Life is all about how you react to things that happen  and how you go on. My mom failed.   My mom has chosen, yes chosen to focus on the negative.  In her way of thinking, there is nothing positive in her life and she makes sure she lets me know.  Visits with her are tough.  The constant negativity toward everything is emotionally taxing.  Because as I said, my mom has chosen to wallow in her self pity.   She has not realized that this experience where she is totally out of her comfort zone could transform her mind and spirit into something magical.    

Our first year in our house was rough, really rough.  I hope that year two will be better!   But I know that at the very least I will be confronted with the residual effects of the previous year (financial for one as we dig out of those mo the of half our income…months that were expensive due to medical bills…even with insurance).   It won’t be comfortable for me.  It won’t be easy.  But I have decided to accept the discomfort with grace and a smile on my face.   When  I’m uncomfortable and chose to accept it with a smile and positive attitude I will experience the magical moments of life!  Bring on the magic!

Is this all I Know

Another week has flown by.  Where does time go?   It's been eventful yet stagnant, if that makes sense.   I am feeling mired down in my weight loss journey, feeling as if my life is defined only by this weight loss  journey.  Maybe it's time to look more deeply at those feelings!

Busy Week

Where has the last week gone.   I added a new post last week and then I blinked and here we are a week later!   I honestly think that that older I get, the faster time flies!  I feel as if I have no time for anything and that I'm always on the go!  But that is the way it goes, I guess!

So, my week, what to say?  It was crazy busy as always.    I didn't have a car for a few days as Jason's car was in the shop.   The main thing not having a car messed up was my visit (s) to see my mom.   We got the car back on Thursday evening so I was able to recommence with my visits to her so all is well.

I used my time after work wisely.  I have been trying to split that time down between spending time with Zoe and with yard work.  I feel somewhat successful for the last week as I was able to get a few hours of mowing done in the evenings before Jason came home.  

On Friday I had a day off work. I got the car back just in time for a busy crazy day.  I started at my normal time at 5AM.  The early morning proceeded as normal but at 7:30 I headed out to see my friend.  She had lots of plants to divide, and I was the lucky recipient!  It was so good to see her.  She is a friend that I made whilst doing Zumba and it has been ages since we have seen each other!   I was with her all morning and got home just in time to take Zoe out for a potty break and a bit of a playtime outside and feed her lunch.   I was back out the door by 12;15. I had a few stops in the afternoon and my brother and I spent some time getting an old riding lawn mower to a repair shop.  (Maybe, must maybe we will have a riding mower to help us for a season or two......which would cut down on that 8 hours of weekly mowing!).  I came home and spent the rest of the afternoon and evening planting!  

Saturday, started the errands and groceries and a visit to see momand it was a rainy day so no yard work.   Sunday was the clear day so we were outside working.   And before I knew it, I was back to Monday and heading to work.   It will be another busy week as I have mowing to finish today after work.  I have a few more plants to get into the ground.  And weeds.  I have so many weeds to pull!  And watering...new stuff and potted stuff needs watered.   Summer is here and with summer comes the outside work! I am also committed to training Zoe.  She is a nut case!  She gets so super excited that it is ridiculous.  I have been working on her training here and there.  But I have made a commitment to really focus on a few different trouble spots and really work!   (Wish me luck!)  Plus of course a few nights of visiting mom.  So, another busy week!

Weight Loss

Really? I have been eating pretty healthy.  My calorie count has been spot on, I have been eating lots of fruits and veggies.  I've been drinking water. Exercise?  I am exercising religiously every morning at 5:30AM!   And yet my weight is refusing to budge!  What is up?   I'm incredibly frustrated. I'm exceedingly angered.  I'm disappointed with myself.

Could I tighten the reigns a bit more? Yeah, I'm sure I could.  But what I'm already doing should be causing me to have weight loss.  Yet it's not!  

I am still dealing with a poison rash.   I swear, I get new patches of poison almost daily!  It's like a never-ending nightmare!  LUCKILY, the whole body experience is mostly behind me.  The bulk of the patches of poison that covered most of my body are just scaly and dry, which indicates to me that they are on the way out!  The new patches are usually small and relatively contained.  (The other day it was between two fingers.....today the new spot is on my neck).   Could my body fighting off this poison be affecting my weight?   That is my only theory...so I'm going with it!

Weight Loss is All I Know

I have been writing about weight loss for a lot of years.  Seriously, I started this website/blog way back in the early days of 2006.  I have written over 2500 posts.  (This is post 2546).  I have talked about weight loss a lot.  I have been utterly transparent about my journey and my struggles.  Years ago, I started to write a book about my weight loss and what I learned.  (I have pulled it out and I have been working on it...it's mostly in the edit stage with just a bit more writing to complete).  I had started to compile a collection of my diet-ventures.   It is a collection of stories about the crazy things that have happened to me in regard to this weight loss journey.  Weight loss has become my life.  It's who I am.

But shouldn't there be more to me?  Who am I without weight loss? When I think about writing, it usually tends to go toward weight loss. Years back I started a youtube channel.  It was ironically started as a mountain bike channel....yet my videos tended to sound more like weight loss videos.  Rather quickly the channel became a weight loss channel.  Why?   Because that is what I feel most comfortable with.  Over the last 17 years,  weight loss has become my life. 

But shouldn't there be more to me?  Do I want my identity to be "the girl whose life is weight loss"?    How do I expand and become more because weight loss is all I seem to know after so long.   

Ridiculous I tell ya!

​I sometimes think my life is straight out of some looney toon cartoon!  Expect the unexpected is what I need to start saying in relation to my life!   This last week has been exactly that!   Rashes, car breakdowns, rain,  x crazy dog, etc.   ok, the dog is a puppy…so she is supposed to be crazy!  But otherwise, life has been nuts!

Rainy Weather 

So let’s start with the weather.    It was overcast and rainy for about a week and a half.  When the sun would shine long enough to actually mow, I would be working!   We even had hail three times…that I know about! (Picture of hail on the front deck below)  So the grass was growing like crazy!    

Yes, I know.  Rain and fast growing grass is be expected in April and May!  Thankfully, this weekend we had some sunny weather and we were able to get out and mow.   The grass was so long that we had to go much slower.  So what can usually be done in a combined 7 hours took about 9.  Fun fun!   But hey, push mowing is good exercise right?

Around the house we also got a few things planted.  My father in law put up some shelves that had formerly been in their garage.  And he started to build me a counter to fit into the great abyss.  My washer and dryer sit at a right angle to each other …not side by side.   That leaves a corner of space that I can’t access or use in the Landry room.  It is annoying because it’s not only dead space, but I have dropped stuff back there and have to contort…or move a machine to extract it!  So I had a grand idea of putting up a table/counter back there.    It’s in the works!   It is half built at the moment..:but it’s on the way!   I also got a plan in my head for a rocky hill that sits along the road.  Right now it is all weedy and overgrown (and an eyesore).  I have a plan in my head for how to turn the eyesore into something that at least looks like we care…if not is pretty!

Car Breakdowns

It’s the old car…the one that Jason typically uses to commute to work.  Last year , the car was giving us a warning light..and then up and died on the side of a highway.  The alternator went out.   The mechanic that we went to had the car for like two months and well…we will NEVER go back there due to some other issues.  But hey, the car was running.  Or was it.  We actually didn’t drive that car much in the next 6-7 months as Jason was injured….(you can read about the axe accident here).    He went back to work in late February.  And by mid April he mentioned that the light was flickering again….intermittently.   We took it to our new mechanic…and they ran all sorts of tests.  Drove it.   Checked the alternator.  You name it.  Everything was good.  The mechanic was like, we can put in a new alternator if you want.   But the mechanic went on to say, ‘honestly, if it were my car I would run that one until it goes out…then put the new one in.   So that is what we did.   This morning the alternator went out while Jason was on his way to work. …like he is quite literally waiting for the tow truck as I write this.

Car problems …yuck!!!

Poison

Last fall we had been working on cleaning the brush piles and all the overgrowth by our shed.  It was going smashingly (until the aforementioned axe accident).   Except….I picked up poison!  That was in lots of places on my body.   Like really? How?   I would be in misery for about three weeks and have a week or so reprieve and then boom…I would contract it again.   For about three months.  Then it was gone….no more poison…and blew side mi the of peaceful skin!   Until two weeks ago…back in the same area.  I was so careful!  Long  pants.  Long sleeves.  Gloves.  I was cognizant of where I touched my body …keeping my hands away from my face, etc.  and I scrubbed down with strong soap afterward.    Three days later it began.   And it spread.  And spread.   I seriously have poison just about Al everywhere!   I kid you not!  I think my feet are the only thing not affected!   I seriously have poison underneath my bra!   How????   I’m counting the days until this bout is history!

Jason luckily, is immune.   So I have made my vow that I will not be helping to finish clear that area.  He is on his own!   We try not to use poison since we have animals, but we have caved because we need this poison gone!    

 Fun fun!

Points Challenge

I started my points challenge on May 1.   You can read about the points challenge plan here.   It is going well.  I am adding up my points.  I know that there is room for improvement.  But it has also opened ky eyes to a few ‘problem areas’.  For example.  The first day I only earned 2 points for fruits and veggies!   That’s horrible.  So I have been really making an effort to rebuild the habit of lots of fresh fruits and veggies!  

So it’s working to help me bring awareness to what I’m doing on a variety of different levels!

Weigh In

So I restarted and got more focused on my health at the beginning of may.  I started my challenge.  I have been wracking up points.  How am I doing?

I have  no real clue.  I have hopped onto the scales once or twice.  However, I haven’t really paid attention to the numbers or what is happening.  Why?  I’m fighting a mammoth case of poison.  I am full of potions and lotions.   Medicine messes up and skews the numbers on the scale.  So I am just staying the course…the weight will drop and when this poison is behind me and my body can go back to normal, then I will find my weight!  Until then, carry on business as usual!

Emotions

I am battling some serious emotions and feelings.   This last  year had been wave after wave of depressive feelings.  It’s been a rollercoaster of emotions.  It’s been extremely difficult.  I feel like I’m pulling out of it and then I get kicked in the teeth again.   (Or at least it feels that way). I know that my emotional state affects my weight loss efforts.  And the reduced weight loss just plays into those emotions exacerbating some of the stuff that I am already feeling.  It’s just difficult!   I’m fighting it though.  I’m fighting the urge to just let myself sink into a depression. I’m gonna make it.

So that is the update on my crazy life.  I’m fighting for my mental health and my physical health!   I’m determined to win!

Love or Fear

I recently heard someone make a comment about fear or love.  It really made me think!   What was the comment? We make decisions based on one of two reasons.  Fear or love.  

People gravitate toward love…it’s the trait that draws people in.  It’s the trait that we need for ourselves to draw ourselves in and make us successful.  But I many times make choices based on fear.  

I can see how when I was making big choices out of fear how it drew people into my life that were predators.   People that used me.  People that had their own agenda and needed someone driven by fear so that they could fulfill whatever they were trying to do in life.  (Subconsciously or otherwise).    Over and over this happened.  I got married the first time based on fear.  Fear that I would never know love…never have a family and that I would be alone forever.    And look how that turned out.  (Divorced).   I had friends that gravitated to me…friends (or not so  much friends it turned out) that were more intent on their agenda and they needed someone that was making choices on fear…..because it gave them power.

It shouldn’t come as a surprise that when I was divorced and in the dating arena that I was meeting straight up idiots.  I was making choices based on fear.   And it shouldn’t shock me that when I finally got the self confidence to make choices based on love, not love for another person, but love for myself that I met an amazing man…one that I now call husband. I wrote about the following  revelation in my book Frog or Prince (you can purchase it here) 

 

The real revelation though?  I wasn't until I stood up for myself and accepted myself as a single confident lady that I was ready to move on with my life.  It wasn't until I did the unheard of things.  I purged friendships that weren't healthy.  I found happiness in single life.  I stood up for myself with a bunch of dating losers.  I went on two vacations by myself.  (Vacationing by oneself invokes pity by almost everyone...but really isn't as bad as I thought it was going to be.)  It is coincidence that I met Jason right as I made that discovery I had purged the people and booked the vacations and almost immediately we started to talk......I don't think it's coincidental at all.  I had to heal and make that major discovery so that I could go into a true loving relationship with a man while at peace and in love with myself.

But somehow, over the last years, I slipped back into the Maryfran of old.  That confidence that I found when I met Jason slipped away.  And I started making choices based on fear again.   My self confidence has taken another downward dip….and many of my choices are being made out of fear.

 

I’m not losing weight because I love myself.  I have been trying to lose weight because I’m afraid of the future if I don’t!    I have written on this blog so many times that the weight didn’t come off the first time until I learned to love myself.   I am worth it.   I am worth every ounce of time and energy it takes to make me even more awesome than I already am.  (And I need to start believing that I am awesome!) I am deserving of being the person that I want to be!

It’s time to love myself again!

 

My dog obviously loves me!

 

Plans for May

 April is almost done and I really have nothing good to say about it!   Well, at least in terms of my weight loss!  There were some good things that happened in April...just not with my weight loss efforts!

The Good

We have been able to start getting out and working on the yard again!   The property we bought was rented for quite a few years. Renters didn't do anything to better the property.  In fact, when tree limbs dropped, they must have apparently just pushed them into the closest flower bed.....and they stacked up.  There were rocks scattered everywhere...in flower beds, under trees, you name it  Rocks, we have a plenty!   We can envision the yard when it is back into great shape, but we also are realistic enough to know that it will take years for us to have the time (and money) to do what we want.  So last year we reclaimed one or two flower beds....and just maintained.  This year we plan on reclaiming a bit more and maintaining everything.   As we are reclaiming, we are trying to planT perennials.  It's more expensive now, but in the long run will save us so much time and money to not have to replant....to just maintain with some mulch some pruning/dividing and a little bit of weed pulling.  As spring rolled around, we started to work outside again.  It is very satisfying to see a brush pile shrink!    We fixed the back steps that were in dire need of help.  We enjoyed the time with each other...and our pets!   It wasn't a bad month.

The Bad

So the bad comes into play when I got a stomach bug.   I rolled into April strong!  I was exercising heavily.  I was drinking lots of water.  I was tracking every bite and eating within the confines of my set plan.  I was killing it!  Well, I was killing it for the first 2 days!   And then I picked up a stomach bug!   The bug threw me off my healthy lifestyle. I fell apart on almost every aspect of my healthy habits.  Water....what's that?  Tracking.......yeah right?   The ONLY thing I continued was my daily exercise.  I of course didn't exercise the week I was sick.  But the following week I was back at it religiously!  But everything else was a bust!

I ended the month at almost exactly the same weight that I started the month!   Disappointing....but I also know that's a miracle in itself!

The Plan

I had started the month of April with a plan.  A challenge for myself.  I was so excited about it.  It was a points value system for myself to compete against myself with.   Every day I would earn points.  Everything I did that was healthy would earn me a point..or more.   Every day, I would just need to better my number..compete against my previous day!   Compete against my previous week.   Compete against myself to keep earning more and more points. (the original post can be found here)

I am planning to restart this challenge and I'm excited about it for sure!

So the points system...

Weight - I earn one point for any loss or maintain on my weekly weigh in day. (only one point per week)

Track -  I can earn one point per day - just for tracking my food and my efforts

On track eating - I can earn one point per day for eating within the confines of my set eating plan

Water -  Every 10 ounces of water I drink I will earn 1 point.  If I have a "bad day" and only drink 20 ounces....it's not a failure because I still earn 2 points.  But the days that I drink 70 ounces....well, I earn 7.  (drinking water is easy points!)

Fruit and Veggies -   Quite simply I can earn one point for every fruit or vegetable that I eat.   Once again, I am celebrating the ONE serving I ate if that's all I ate.  But I am killing it with lots of points if I eat 6 servings!

Exercise-  I will earn 1 point for every 10 minutes of  cardio or strength exercise I do.  

Steps -  I will earn 1 point for every 1000 steps I take.

Yoga - (A new addition this month) - I can earn 1 point for a yoga session!  

We will always round down.  If I drink 59 ounces of water, it rounds down to 50 and I only earn 5 points....this should encourage me to take that extra sip of water to throw myself over the next milestone.  If I take 9800 steps, it rounds down to 9000 so 9 points. once again, by rounding down I should be encouraged to take a few more steps to get to the next milestone/point!

I'm ready to kick this weight in the teeth and knock it far far away!   April was a rough month, but I can make May amazing!