Here's to week two of the new year!

This has been a crazy week.  I knew it was going to be thus, but I didn't realize exactly how crazy it was going to be. I actually wrote about the crazy week here.  No worries though, just busy.  What I didn't account for was one coworker being out sick ALL WEEK LONG and another one being out for one day.  Yikes.  I didn't expect to get hit with some tough news.  It has been crazier than I expected, and I still have Friday to make it through.  But lets get into it.....ohhh and on Thursdays my friend and I are sharing our weigh ins for accountability, so I will share with you how I did this first week of the new year.  So without further ado, lets get into it!

Retina Specialist 

During my normal visit to the optometrist to get new glasses, they told me that I may have a hole in my retina.   I felt confident that all was going to go well.  The optometrist had made the comment that he thought it was a pigment spot and nothing else, but to go to the specialist to be sure.  So on Monday I left work early and went to the specialist.   Numerous tests and two hours later and I was reeling.  

Not only do I have one hole in my retina, I have two.   Furthermore, I have thinning of the retina and he talked about me being per-glaucoma!   He skirted the last two things and said that we will deal with them later, the pressing thing now is the holes in my retina.  They want to fix them before they get worse.  So before I left I scheduled an appointment to get my holes fixed through laser.  Yes, what I had been told by my optometrist was correct, they are going to use a laser to zap the holes and that will fuse the holes shut.  After that, I guess we will start to worry about the other issues.

I got home from the appointment and rolled right into making dinner as it was a bit after 6PM by that point.  I ate dinner and I felt like a zombie.   I couldn't really even function.  I fell asleep in the living room by 7pm.  Jason woke me up for me to move to the bedroom, but otherwise, I slept through to the alarm.   Honestly, I think I was in shock at my news.

I woke up the next morning and felt better and decided to tackle my news by doing a little Dr. Google.     I wanted to know what caused these issues.  What is the treatment for the thinning retina.  I mean, what is happening.  I didn't make it far before I just lost it.   Tears and distress.  (Seriously, I can see the stages of grief/acceptance/whatever you want to call it, clear as day.)  I stopped and just tried to hold myself together as I prepared to go to work.  Yeah, I lost it when my coworkers asked about my results.  Oh well, at least I tried to hold it together.

By later that day I had accepted it (I'm still terrified about the laser thing..but oh well).    And I have actually been able to joke about it quite a bit.  I mean I asked a coworker for help and when she showed me something that was right in front of my face I just looked at her and said "It's my traitorous eyeballs you know".     I also have put the appointment in my work calendar as "zap zap of the eyeball".   So I'm doing ok, not exactly happy and not exactly looking forward to it all, but ok with it.

 

Soul Fusion Foundations

Even  with my trauma and messed up eyeballs, I managed to make it to my first to classes of Soul Fusion. (A class that focuses on flexibility, balance and mobility).   I was nervous.  Number one, I was going by myself and knew no one!  Secondly I was afraid that I was going to fail at everything and not be able to do stuff.    But I was pleasantly surprised.  I was able to complete almost everything she did. (There was one stretch that just didn't work for me....I think my stomach was prohibiting the movement).  In fact, maybe 1/4 of the way through she was like "you are doing great, I may try some other stuff.    I feel like I did well.  My legs were a bit like jelly when I left, but overall I was fine and didn't have any real issue with sore muscles.  I am anxious to see if I notice any difference in my mobility in the coming weeks.   

 Notary Exam

Thursday, in the midst of craziness with people off work, I left and went to take my notary exam.  Do you know how many years it's been since I took an official exam/test?   A lot!   So understandably, I was nervous.  I spent some time the night before doing the review and practice test.  I read through my notes in the morning while at work.   And in the  afternoon I went and took the test.   I passed slick as a whistle (I did miss one question and got a 98%) and it only took me ten of the sixty allotted minutes.    So next up I will get a confirmation email, get my bond paperwork and supplies and I can go and be sworn in.  I'm getting closer.

 Weigh In

This first week of the year I have not tracked a single calorie.  I have however written my food into my day planner.  I have tried to drink a decent amount of water (some days I did good others not as good) and I have really tried to avoid or at least seriously limit my sweets.  I have had one or two small pieces of candy (I'm talking ONE miniature Reece's Cup on one or two days).   But overall, I have done well.  And I am happy to say that I dropped 2 pounds.   So I'm on a roll!

One more day until the weekend and I can't wait!!!  Next week should be a bit more 'normal'.  Or should I say the 'new normal' that has me going to an exercise class twice a week.  :-)   But mostly normal.  The zap zap of the eyeball won't come until the following week.  I plan on doing the same routine of tracking my food but not worrying about calories this week and we shall see how that goes!

But here's to week two of the new year 

 

 

 

Busy week

 I am gearing up for a busy week!  Yeah, I know that I am just finishing up this holiday week, but I am looking forward to this next week and it's gonna be a busy one!

 

Retina Specialist

A few weeks ago I went to the eye doctor for my normal yearly appointment and new glasses.   I was happy (not that it really mattered) that my vision didn't change much.  My prescription was mostly the same.  I got myself some new specs which I really like.  Ok, the main reason that I like them is that this new pair does not have the nose pieces and is instead just the plastic frame that rests on my nose.  Why is this important?  Well it's important because if I am reading of on my ipad I usually just push my glasses up on my head and go with my normal vision.  Yeah, I know that I have progressive lenses and that seems counter productive.  But it just works for me.  The eye doctor is aware and actually encouraged me to read without glasses when I can.  All was going splendidly with my appointment until the eye doctor started to make a comment, and he kept going back and saying the same thing before going onto something else, just to circle back around to the same exact comment.  So I knew he was really thinking and grappling with something.   The comment?   "I think that's probably just a pigment spot".    But he kept going back to it to look again and finally he said, "I just can't be 100% sure that this tiny spot is pigment.  It very well could be a pin hole in your retina."   

Say what?  

Yeah, I very well may have a hole in my retina.  A tiny one right now.  But a hole none the less.  And this possible hole requires me to visit a retina specialist.  I did ask them what happens at this point.  A small hole will usually get bigger and can be the start of a detached retina.  (sounds scary).    They couldn't give advice as they were not the specialist but they did say that typically a wee tiny hole would just be repaired with a zap of a laser to fuse the hole.  Zap Zap and it's done.  They said that the tears/holes that go uncorrected and get bigger can have more invasive repairs (a metal buckle in the eye is what they alluded to...yikes!)  The eye doctors words were "I could be wasting your time by sending to a specialist, but on the flip side I could be a hero for catching this so early."   I quickly assured him that I would rather be safe than sorry....especially since I only get one set of eyes.  Sooooooo.... on Monday January 5th, I am heading to a retina specialist for a 2 hour appointment.   I imagine that I should have some idea of what is happening by the end of the appointment. (I HOPE)

 Soul Fusion Foundations

In my last post I wrote about how I had found a beginners exercise class (very small class size) that focuses on mobility and flexibility.   I have made the commitment and I am looking forward to starting.  I know that it will be ugly.  I won't be able to do all the moves because I have slipped that far. But I am anxious to get rolling so that I can start to see improvements!    The first class is Tuesday the 6th after work and the second class is Thursday after work.    Something new and exciting.

Notary

Also this week is my scheduled appointment to take my notary exam.  Yes, I am set to become a notary in the fine state of Pennsylvania.  I have taken the class.  I have submitted my application.  I am just waiting to take the exam and that exam is scheduled for Thursday January 8th in the afternoon.    The course that I went through offers a refresher guide and a practice exam that they recommend that you do the day or two before you take the exam.  So I have to slip that into my week.  

Blog-i-versary

On January 6th  I will celebrate 20 years of writing and sharing my journey on this forum.  Crazy I know!  So I have to write a post commemorating that for sure!

Normal Hum Drum Life

Of course in the midst of all of that craziness I will still be working my normal 40 hours at work (although lately it has been more like 42-45 hours each week).  I will be making dinners each evening, going on a walk with the dog in the morning, and all the other normal stuff.   So yeah, it's gonna be a busy one!  But amidst the crazy is some exciting changes that will be nice in my life! 

Is this all I Know

Another week has flown by.  Where does time go?   It's been eventful yet stagnant, if that makes sense.   I am feeling mired down in my weight loss journey, feeling as if my life is defined only by this weight loss  journey.  Maybe it's time to look more deeply at those feelings!

Busy Week

Where has the last week gone.   I added a new post last week and then I blinked and here we are a week later!   I honestly think that that older I get, the faster time flies!  I feel as if I have no time for anything and that I'm always on the go!  But that is the way it goes, I guess!

So, my week, what to say?  It was crazy busy as always.    I didn't have a car for a few days as Jason's car was in the shop.   The main thing not having a car messed up was my visit (s) to see my mom.   We got the car back on Thursday evening so I was able to recommence with my visits to her so all is well.

I used my time after work wisely.  I have been trying to split that time down between spending time with Zoe and with yard work.  I feel somewhat successful for the last week as I was able to get a few hours of mowing done in the evenings before Jason came home.  

On Friday I had a day off work. I got the car back just in time for a busy crazy day.  I started at my normal time at 5AM.  The early morning proceeded as normal but at 7:30 I headed out to see my friend.  She had lots of plants to divide, and I was the lucky recipient!  It was so good to see her.  She is a friend that I made whilst doing Zumba and it has been ages since we have seen each other!   I was with her all morning and got home just in time to take Zoe out for a potty break and a bit of a playtime outside and feed her lunch.   I was back out the door by 12;15. I had a few stops in the afternoon and my brother and I spent some time getting an old riding lawn mower to a repair shop.  (Maybe, must maybe we will have a riding mower to help us for a season or two......which would cut down on that 8 hours of weekly mowing!).  I came home and spent the rest of the afternoon and evening planting!  

Saturday, started the errands and groceries and a visit to see momand it was a rainy day so no yard work.   Sunday was the clear day so we were outside working.   And before I knew it, I was back to Monday and heading to work.   It will be another busy week as I have mowing to finish today after work.  I have a few more plants to get into the ground.  And weeds.  I have so many weeds to pull!  And watering...new stuff and potted stuff needs watered.   Summer is here and with summer comes the outside work! I am also committed to training Zoe.  She is a nut case!  She gets so super excited that it is ridiculous.  I have been working on her training here and there.  But I have made a commitment to really focus on a few different trouble spots and really work!   (Wish me luck!)  Plus of course a few nights of visiting mom.  So, another busy week!

Weight Loss

Really? I have been eating pretty healthy.  My calorie count has been spot on, I have been eating lots of fruits and veggies.  I've been drinking water. Exercise?  I am exercising religiously every morning at 5:30AM!   And yet my weight is refusing to budge!  What is up?   I'm incredibly frustrated. I'm exceedingly angered.  I'm disappointed with myself.

Could I tighten the reigns a bit more? Yeah, I'm sure I could.  But what I'm already doing should be causing me to have weight loss.  Yet it's not!  

I am still dealing with a poison rash.   I swear, I get new patches of poison almost daily!  It's like a never-ending nightmare!  LUCKILY, the whole body experience is mostly behind me.  The bulk of the patches of poison that covered most of my body are just scaly and dry, which indicates to me that they are on the way out!  The new patches are usually small and relatively contained.  (The other day it was between two fingers.....today the new spot is on my neck).   Could my body fighting off this poison be affecting my weight?   That is my only theory...so I'm going with it!

Weight Loss is All I Know

I have been writing about weight loss for a lot of years.  Seriously, I started this website/blog way back in the early days of 2006.  I have written over 2500 posts.  (This is post 2546).  I have talked about weight loss a lot.  I have been utterly transparent about my journey and my struggles.  Years ago, I started to write a book about my weight loss and what I learned.  (I have pulled it out and I have been working on it...it's mostly in the edit stage with just a bit more writing to complete).  I had started to compile a collection of my diet-ventures.   It is a collection of stories about the crazy things that have happened to me in regard to this weight loss journey.  Weight loss has become my life.  It's who I am.

But shouldn't there be more to me?  Who am I without weight loss? When I think about writing, it usually tends to go toward weight loss. Years back I started a youtube channel.  It was ironically started as a mountain bike channel....yet my videos tended to sound more like weight loss videos.  Rather quickly the channel became a weight loss channel.  Why?   Because that is what I feel most comfortable with.  Over the last 17 years,  weight loss has become my life. 

But shouldn't there be more to me?  Do I want my identity to be "the girl whose life is weight loss"?    How do I expand and become more because weight loss is all I seem to know after so long.