Weekend Fun

We had a good weekend.  It wasn’t chock full of exercise and activity, but it was a fun weekend regardless! 

This past weekend was a grocery weekend.  When we get groceries we swing into at least stores. (Sometimes more if we need to hit targeted the pet store.). This takes quite a chunk of our day.  But that’s ok, it is part of life.  By the time we finished all of our shopping and general errands we didn’t have a whole lot of time left in the day for fun and excitement.  So we headed to our little ‘go to’ place.   

Gambrill Mill

Gambrill mill is an area within the confines of the Monocacy National Civil War Battlefield.  This area of the park is relatively small but it is just a neat place to visit.  It is our easy and quick place to go to reconnect with nature.

The main (only???) trail at this location is only a mile or so.  It starts on a boardwalk at the corner of the parking lot.  The boardwalk was just redone and is in great shape.  On the boardwalk you will meander by and over a stream that leads to the Monocacy River. It also will walk you by the site of an old shed that is in ruins.  

Eventually the boardwalk will deposit you at an access to the Monocacy River.  There is an overlook in case you don’t want to walk down to the river bank. (Overlook is a nice term…you are maybe 10 feet above the level of the water.)  In the summer this area is full of people swimming, picnics, canoes, rafters and so much aquatic activity.   

The trail now meanders around the edge of the field and follows another stream that flows into the Monocacy River.    The water in this stream is so clear. It is the perfect place to wade!

As you make the circle back to the parking lot you will see the Gambrill Mansion (used as offices) and the old mill that sits alongside the pond.  I have never seen either building open and available to the public.  But irregardless…it is a neat place to get out in nature if you just have a short period of time!

On Sunday we took a lazy day.   Seriously, we lounged around all morning.  We watched tv, played around online and I messed around with my cameras a bit.  It was a lazy morning!

During the afternoon we spent some time trying to get Kiwi, our Green. Geek Conure acclimated to traveling.   Yes we took him for an outing.   Some birds get car sick.  Apparently Kiwi get sick…but it’s definitely not from motion sickness…he has panic attacks!  I kid you not…this bird gets sick before we even turn on the car! Each outing he gets a bit better…so we hope that by vacation time he will be good with travel because he is going on vacation with us.  (Mertz is staying at home…she is more self sufficient and will only need someone to come check on her one or two times.)

Before we knew it, our weekend was over!   They go so fast!  The only consolation to the drama of going back to work?    We only have a three day week!   Both Jason and I are off on Thursday and Friday!  Yay!!!!!!

Lets start Doing this Running Thing......again

This post may contain affiliate links. Please read my disclaimer  for details. 

I have honestly missed running.  For quite a while it was a pretty important part of my life...and a pretty regular aspect!   But then life got in the way and I just didn't have the time to do it.  I found that I really missed it!  I also found that my fitness levels were decreasing the longer I went without running.  So I decided....the time is NOW!  It is time (past time) to get back to it and get in shape!   What better time than a long 5 day weekend to start!  Two runs over the course of a five day weekend...I could certainly do that. Right?  Let's see how I did!

The first run:  And I use the Term run loosely

Friday morning was the first day of my long weekend and I was determined to start.  I had a mixture of excitement and dread coursing through my veins when I woke up.   However, I was determined to do it.  I had announced it to the world and to myself and it was time to keep my promise.  (Plus, I had just purchased this really cool new toy, which I wrote about last week in this post that was ultimately to help me manage my stats during running...so maybe I should actually get some use out of this toy....my new Garmin Instinct.)

The first problem I encountered was finding my Run Buddy. (Affiliate Link)  A run buddy is a pouch that can hold keys and cellphone (or whatever).  It is attached to your pants with magnets and does not flop around....this thing is AMAZING!   Honestly, everyone that has ever seen or used mine in person has gone out to get their own!  It is absolutely the BEST way to keep your phone secure and on your person!  But I digress by singing it's praises.....my Run buddy was missing!   I know that I had used it while hiking in some pants that didn't have pockets a while back....but it wasn't where I thought it was.  It wasn't anywhere!  I looked!  DRAT.  Oh well...I would just have to hold my cell phone in my hand....and my pepper spray in the other hand ...and my keys.....wow this run just got complicated didn't it?   (And as a side note, I believe I will be clicking my own affiliate link.....is that even allowed? to buy another run buddy because I'm NOT happy with the complicated issues of going without it!)   But I didn't let the lack of my run buddy keep me from running.  Out I went!

Oh my word....was that ever brutal!  I didn't even make it 5 minutes before I needed a break from running. So I switched to intervals.  But then my shins starting hurting....my feet hurt.  Just shoot me now is what I was thinking!    I had to end up walking the second half of the run.    And you know what?  I was ok with that.  For a very brief moment I thought about turning off my brand new garmin...but then I told myself NO!  I wanted to memorialize this run.....er jog......uhhh walk!    I needed and now have  a baseline to start from.  It can only improve if I just show some consistency!

 So yeah, it was U.G.L.Y!   I'm sure it was because of the stress of losing my run buddy...right??  No....your not going to buy that???   Would you believe that the issues were caused by the fact that I was out there and then realized that I had not brought headphones so it was a quiet run?   Yeah, not buying that one either....neither am I?  Ok, it was ugly because I let myself slip into this state of disrepair!   But I'm ok with this.....I have my starting point..the line is drawn in the sand...now it's time to improve!

Run Two: return to an old friend 

I tell you, I am determined.  So the very next day, on Saturday I headed out for run two of the new reimagined me.   This time I went with headphones!   Ahhh that made all the difference in the world!  Ok ok ok, it made it more enjoyable! It however did not make me run like a gazelle!  I was still...slow!  (Why yes, I was wearing the same shirt...I did laundry on Friday afternoon and this one was at the top of the pile on Saturday when I went to get dressed...I wasn’t thinking of my photo op!!). But notice I’m at least smiling in this picture!

What made this run so much better?   I had an epiphany in the middle of the night before this run.   Why not pull up the C25K app and go through that training again!   I saw the plan for the  first week and decided that I needed something a bit more challenging.  Week three looked too challenging based on my first run.  So week two it was!   The plan for week two is to alternate....jog 90 seconds and then walk 2 minutes...back and forth for 20 minutes.  That is what I set out to do! It was a good success.  I was ready to walk each time my walk segment came up....but I knew I could probably have pushed a bit longer.  So I decided to push myself a little on my last run segment. I ran the 90 seconds.  When the app alerted me to walk, I kept running.  So my last run segment was actually 3 minutes and 30 seconds!  It was hard!  But I am glad I pushed myself!    I returned home feeling more confident about embarking on this journey!!!!

Run theee:  Day three of my 5 day weekend

Why yes, I did go out running the third day of my long weekend.   I was happy with the C25K plan from the day before, so I followed that plan again, completing day two of week two.   I did notice that my legs were a bit heavy on this run, but that’s not too shocking considering I had been running for three days straight after a long hiatus of nothing.  The previous two days I had not experienced any horrible aches or pains as a result of my runs so I knew that I was good to go for day theee.  This day was the same intervals as the previous day and I did the same thing, I pushed myself and ran the last run interval AND I ran through the last walk interval.  I was rewarded with a bush of orange roses right when my run was completed and As I was heading into my cooldown stage.

It amused me when I realized that I matched the rose bush!

That wasn’t the end of day three of my vacation  exercise/activity though.  Oh no!  We headed out on our bikes for a bike ride a bit later in the day! I was setting the pace on the out and back ride.  When we got to the point that we had about three miles left, I pushed hard. I picked up the pace  and really worked.  I wanted to challenge myself!

That evening my legs were sore.  From the muscles that were achy I could tell it was the cause the bike ride (and probably the last three miles where I was in my top gear and cranking like a mad woman).  

Knowing that we planned to get back on our bikes on Monday, I started to think about not running on Monday...a day of rest (from running) would probably be wise.

Run None: Day four of the long weekend

Ahhh. Day four.  Slow down weekend, it’s going by too fast!!!   I decided to stick with my plan to not run this day.   It wasn’t a day of rest though.  We still had a long bike ride and we took a walk!  So quite a bit of activity!  Alas...I was enjoying the weather and even more importantly the company (of course when I say we...I mean Jason and I!) and didn’t even think of a picture!   My legs were wiped out by the end of day four!   Achy and shaky!  Those are the adjectives to describe the muscles in my legs on Monday night!  Yeah, it felt good!!!

Day five: another run???

Day five arrived.  It came so fast!!!!!  Jason had to go back to work!  (Boooo....I wish he had off work off with me!). I didn’t have much planned for this day.   Some light cleaning, laundry, making a pan of lasagna, etc. the rest of the day was spent relaxing and working  on my dollhouses.   However I did have one order of business.  A run!   I woke up at the normal time and got dressed in my running clothes.   I planned to hang out with Jason until he left for work and then head out for my run.   It was after I was dressed that the monsoon rain started.  Uhhhh...this may not be good!  

I fiddled around for a few hours in the morning.  I did some laundry. I worked on my dollhouses.i delayed that run.  Let me tell you, I did NOT want to go.   I was convinced that my legs were too sore and that this should be a lazy day for me!   But then the next minute I would tell myself that I would regret it should I skip it.   So I went out.    It wasn’t fun.  I was sore.  I ran slow (slower than I had two days earlier).   I just wasn’t feeling it AT ALL!

But I did it.  I am proud of myself for facing it and doing it. I do have to wonder how much of the pain and ‘not feeling it’ was based on my predictions when I was trying to talk myself out of it.  Some self fulfilled prophecy kinda deal.  

Who knows.  But I managed to run 4 of the five days of my long weekend.  I also managed two bike rides.  I count that as a success.  I have the momentum going....now I just need to continue!!!  I’ve got this!!!!

Holding steady: sometimes a day or two of maintaining is good

Another week before us.......

We had a quiet weekend.  We ran a few errands but mostly just relaxed at home.  We just felt sluggish all weekend, lacking energy.   Of course maybe the weather had something to do with it (we are always more sluggish as we recover from the long work week...but this was worse!). We didn’t feel bad, we just felt lazy.   On Saturday it was overcast and rainy!  Sunday was just cold and blustery.   Good days to stay inside!

My weekend low weight was nice.  8/10ths of a pound down.  I’ll take that.   Predictably, this morning my weight was up a bit.  I’m not going to stress about it....I’m still within the three pound range that i am ok with fluctuating in.   I know that I had a lot more sodium laden foods this weekend.  I also know my water consumption was way down so I know that has played a part.  (Maybe just a wee part, but it has its part!).   My food wasn’t perfect, higher on the weekends then weekdays.   And I’m ok with that.  I tracked it and THAT is my main goal!!!

I am rolling into the week and my goal is STILL to continue tracking every bite.  But this week I am going to continue to work on eliminating the snacks!  That after work snack gets me, and I don’t need it.  I’m perfectly fine without.    

So that’s my weekend recap! It wasn’t bad in terms of my health, more of a maintain effort!   I’ve been thinking about some things about self worth and taking care of ourselves.   Hopefully I can get that into words for a post soon!   But right now, it’s time to head into work!

Weekend slug

Noooooo. I don’t want the weekend to end!!!  I am dragging on this Monday morning!!!!   We had a really low key weekend, which is what we probably needed. Our low key weekend gave me some insight to the weigh in pattern that I have been seeing, so that was good!  But in the grand scheme of things, my eating was horrible!!!  So without further ado, let’s get into the nitty gritty of my weekend!

An Indulgence

Friday at work I developed  a bad headache that drove me to the cafeteria looking for caffeine.   I found caffeine...and a chicken salad sandwich and...

It didn’t help...I really needed a second package to take the ache away.   But...I didn’t get it!!  I just ate the one package!!!  And boy was it delicious!!!!  I don’t feel guilty...do you know how long it’s been since I indulged in one of these???  My favorite candy???   The important thing is that it was ONE package...and I was done.  I didn’t buy more over the weekend...one and done!!!  (Oh and even with the caffeinated drink...I still made my water goal for the day!  I drank the soda alternately with my water while at work!  And I already had almost three down by the time I got the soda!!)

Bike riding

We actually hopped on our bikes on Friday evening and did a small jaunt on our local path.  We had skipped Thursday and felt like we should go on Friday to make up for the skipped day.  I can slowly feel my legs getting stronger!  

We didn’t sit on the bike the rest of the weekend!  No big ride like normal!   On Saturday we just felt like slugs and had no energy to do anything more strenuous than to walk through a store or two!  What happened on Sunday?  We had family obligations.

Slug activities

As I mentioned.  We were total slugs!   On Saturday we did our errands and went into a few stores. It was early on that we knew a bike ride was not in the cards for us. So we instead hit up the antique store near us and then went on a search for a retro game system!   We ended up buying the Sega retro system   It’s so neat to play the old games!  I see another purchase or two in the future, the Nintendo version and the Atari version!

 But other than that, we relaxed on Saturday. (And played video games)

Sunday we hit up another antique store, visited my mom and spent some time at Jason’s parents house to celebrate his belated birthday.

Of course we had to try on the fun hat at the antique store!

Food

Well, let’s just say that my food was delicious this weekend!   It included fried macaroni and cheese, pizza, French fries (baked), edible cookie dough, chic-fil-a milkshakes and of course birthday cake.  I had veggies and healthy things also!

Weight

I actually smashed the pattern of my weigh-in’s this weekend!!!   Yes I did!  It wasn’t all good.  I never dropped to my Typical Saturday low weigh in weight. My weight stayed steady through out the weekend.  Im actually happier with that than with seeing the really low weight on Saturday just to see it pop back up by Monday!  

Some theories about why?

* We didn’t ride this weekend!  I have been wondering if the intense hard ride on the weekend is affecting my weight!  

*I drank no diet soda this weekend (typically I drink a fair amount on the weekends)

Who knows...but I’m going to try to keep the diet soda away!   And the biking...well that’s returning!!!

Sometimes, you just have to listen to your body and be a slug!   Sometimes our bodies need the rest!!!  Next weekend is a three day weekend.  I’m already counting down!!!!

Intermittent Fasting: I accidentally fell into this diet method

Who knew that I was actually doing a popular thing???   I have just been trying to set myself up for a healthy sustainable life.   I’ve been just trying to find an eating plan that brings balance to my life and is natural for me.   I was just trying to listen to my body and eat when I want to and not because the clock said it was time to eat.   Who knew that what I was doing was the ‘new diet fad’ called intermittent fasting.

Let me start back at the beginning of my recent turn around.   I’m not talking about my very first post on here.  I’m talking about a few months ago when  I was starting to get serious about losing weight and regaining a healthy life!   I began to reflect upon my journey through weight loss and a subsequent regain.    I decided that in order to succeed for LIFE I had to find a balance.  Not total restriction, but not a free for all.  I decided that I would have to find a plan where I was enjoying what I eat and furthermore when I wanted to eat.  I in essence had to find a plan that worked for me!

A few months ago when I decided to get serious in terms of weight loss and more importantly healthiness, I looked at what I had done before.  I wanted to pattern myself after that model because I had great success!  And I want to repeat that success!   But I also had great failure with the subsequent regain.   And I don’t want to repeat that!  The regain made me decided that I had to do something different.  I had to really work to find a balance between life’s food challenges (normal living) and healthy living.   

I liked some of my beliefs from before.  I would not be starting to eat yogurt just because it was ‘healthy’ for me.  (Yes at one point I was eating yogurt every day for lunch...even though I’m not a fan of yogurt...ok, I kinda hate yogurt!). Food is fuel, but it also needs to be palatable and something I at least like to eat!    The next thing was that I wasn’t going to eat just because the clock said it was time to eat.  When Jason and I first started dating I realized that I was with a man that ate according to when he was hungry.  NOT because it was simply lunchtime.  It started to open my eyes.  And while he has always been more than happy to stop for me to grab a bite even if he isn’t hungry, I started to realize that I was just eating because it was ‘time’ to eat.  That practice was going to end.  First up on the chopping block?  Breakfast!  And I don’t miss it at all!!!  My stomach doesn’t growl and I rarely even feel true hunger pains...even as lunchtime approaches (this past week was a rare exception!)

I have been hesitant to announce my breakfast free lifestyle in a post because it was pounded into my head that ‘we must eat breakfast’.  But other than a rare occasion (usually on a weekend....and in all honesty usually because I’m bored!) I haven’t had breakfast in maybe 4-5 months.   But I’m coming clean today because recently I read about someone else following this model of eating. (Escape from obesity.net).  And I have also heard the buzzwords intermittent fasting a few times.   

I finally found the time to look up intermittent fasting and what do you know?  That’s what I’m doing!   I’m apparently doing the 16:8 method. Fast for 16 hours and eat within an 8 hour window.  They say there is incredible benefits.  Weight loss for one (as long as one doesn’t just shovel food into their mouths during the 8 hours...they say you don’t even track your food during those 8 hours...however I still track).  They say that without a constant food source your body will start burning fat.  Sounds good to me!   There are other benefits.  They said energy, lower insulin levels and all sorts of other things.  So I guess I’m an intermittent faster.

Weekend shenanigans

We of course did our normal weekend errands...groceries (We hot up two stores each week...Aldi’s and then usually giant or Walmart).  I had to pick up cat food from the pet store.  And we hit up a farmers market. 

 Once fully stocked we were ready for the fun!  :-)  We headed out for a bike ride.   We have amazing conversations, deep and intense while we are biking...or hiking!  So it was a good ride.  Well....except that my one gear kept slipping (the one I wanted/needed to be in!)  Furthermore, something is rubbing on my bike.  I thought it was the brakes, so I disengaged the breaks and rode breakless for a while...but that didn't take away the problem.  Ironically enough, bike shopping for  me was a conversation that we had already had during the bike ride, so I wasn't too upset about the bike issues...although I do want them fixed!

Kindness goes a long way: Encouragement

I had an active and fun weekend. I got a bike ride in, a lot of walking and a run too!!!   My eating while not perfect was within my range.  I am happy with how it went down.  I had a reminder about how important our words are though.

We had a really lazy day on Saturday. Neither of us had much energy, so we spent a lot of time in the couch just relaxing.  I did play around on my computer a bit and did some work.  (Mostly I worked on my recipe site which is a complete work in progress...I am slowly moving recipes from my now defunct site. I have quite a few entered and have been linking them, but it’s coming along very slowly!  I will be updating those pages and doing new pictures as time goes by...right now I’m just trying to get it all moved into one place.  My recipe page  on this site also has the link).  We also got the bulk of our errands out of the way!  (A few more popped up throughout the day as we chatted. So Sunday  we had to stop a few more places.) Around 5pm in Saturday we decided that we needed to do ‘something’ so that we wouldn’t  feel like total slugs!  We decided to hop on our bikes and ride the local trail near our house..it’s paved (boo) and right now really short (double boo...but they are working on extensions yay!)

We did make our ride a bit longer by checking out where they are working on expanding the trail (no sir, we did not go past the fenced off area and ride off road/in construction zone.  Never! Wink wink!). We also took a complete tour of our apartment complex on our bikes. When we got back to our building we rode through the breezeway and went into the grassy area behind us.  I decided to try to mount my bike like a boss!  I want to learn to stand beside my bike with a foot on the pedal...push off and on that movement motion throw my leg over the bike and ride away.  I want to look badazzzz!   Still don’t get what I’m talking about?  Standing still on the left side of the bike...place your left foot on the pedal and hands on the handle bars. With  the right foot on the ground push yourself and the bike into a forward motion and swing that right foot over the bike...land it on the right pedal and keep pedaling off into the sunset (aka down the trail).  I was able to do it a few times...but I’m really rough and choppy!  It will probably be easier on pavement but right now the perceived softness of the grass/dirt gives me comfort!   I will be practicing this more!

The cool bike mount method was awesome, but the real victory is not my badazzz way to mount a bike.  The real victory was the ride itself.  The trail has some inclines.  As we rode the trail and would hit a downhill section  I kept thinking to myself ‘well this is going to be yucky on the way back when I have to climb’. But on the return trip I kept waiting for the uphills...and while I would feel myself pushing harder on occasion, I never felt the abject misery of any of those dreaded inclines!   Did my ‘push myself’ post from last week where I rode out of the saddle and way out of my comfort zone more help?  Is it my walks at work helping?

I don’t know...but I was happy!!!  And yes....I rode out of the saddle some more on that Saturday ride!  I’m going to build these legs into legs of steel!

On Sunday morning I went out for a run when I got up.  I am slow.  Sooo slow! I’m not sure, but walking may be faster!  Hahaha. But I did it...and time and miles on my legs will bring improvement!

We were still feeling wiped out on Sunday.  So instead of going on a long bike ride we instead went to the zoo to get a bit of walking in!

While our running I had an interesting experience.  I was running and passed (in the opposite direction) this guy.   He gave me words of encouragement but reached out and patted my arm.   Yes!  He touched me!   It kinda freaked me out a bit.    But his kind words were really uplifting.    So it was a combo freaky thing /nice thing!    I told Jason...his words were ‘I don’t like that he touched you.’   That’s my protective boyfriend!   (I don’t run on the local trail...it’s too secluded for Jason’s comfort!!!!  Even though years back I ran even more secluded places!  I actually appreciate the fact that he cares enough to worry and ask me not take the risk!).  And yes...I had pepper spray with me! I read two or three blogs one day last week that talked about pepper spray while running....I figured the multiple warnings/reminders should be heeded.  So...I bought a new canister (I know mine were all bought before I met Jason...so older than 3 years) and actually used it!

So even though I was freaked out by the touch.  I was ‘touched’ by that mans encouragement.  It made me think about how often we remain in our own world and fail to say a kind and/or encouraging word to someone.  How often we fail to encourage our fellow humans.  And while I don’t want to be physically touched....the words really made me push through my run to do the best I could! It was a wonderful reminder that I was doing what is right for my body!   It reminded me of my encourager while I was doing the C25K training.   I saw this same guy almost every days. He didn’t say anything...until the day that I ran my first 20 minutes straight and that was the day he chose to tell me how good I was doing.  His words gave me the boost to do something that up until that moment had been impossible!  I needed his words!   I did thank him on a subsequent day!  I also had an ‘angel’ one day while running while I lived at my parents house....But seriously....our words have the power to encourage.  They have the power to make someone smile.  They have the power to take away pain.   Use your words to uplift!    (Just don’t touch the stranger while you are giving them your uplifting words!  Lol). And I thank my ‘angels’ that have made wonderful comments while I’ve been out there working it hard!  

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

When I started casting around for a title for this post the only thing that seemed to fit was The good, the bad and the ugly.   I am horrible with titles, I know it!  If it wouldn't have made it too long I would have titled it "The good, the bad, the ugly, the summary, the plan".  And that is the order that his blog will be written in....

The Good

It's Monday, what else would the good be other than a fabulous weekend!  I worked on Saturday morning so we got a later start.  Saturday was low key for us...we hit up some stores in the afternoon and then relaxed in the evening.

Sunday we explored a big, old graveyard....on bikes.   We did not ride on the graves, when something caught our eye we would hop off and walk to investigate!!!

 

We stopped at an outdoor flea market and an indoor flea market.  On the way to the next stop an overhanging tree bumped into our bikes which were on the top of the car.   We stopped to check the bikes.  Jason got to check out an VW bus....can you see the lust  in his eyes??  He would buy one in a heartbeat if he found one and had the money!

 

Then it was on to the Hilltop.  The Hilltop Hotel is an old motel that was once probably quite grand.  It sat atop a hill with a fabulous view.....

 

The main building of the hotel has disintegrated into a terrible state of disrepair....I'm not sure it is salvageable at this point.   We are drawn to it....and stop to gawk look whenever we are in the area.   

 

 

Don't let these pictures fool you....the rest is literally crumbling.

I didn't take any pictures of the decay.  Today I couldn't find any pictures on the internet showing the current level of decay. So here is an older picture that gives an idea.

 

The really bad area has extended leftward and the whole side is exposed, you can see straight into rooms and the floors on that open section are now sagging quite a bit.   

From there we headed to the canal where we rode our bikes. We got off once or twice and looked for mushrooms.

 

On the way home we even had time to stop for a geocache!

 

It was another fabulous weekend!  Full of relaxation and yes, even though we were feeling lazy we were still pretty active!!!

The Bad

Yesterday somehow the subject of snoring came up between Jason and I.  I laughed and said 'I'm sure I snore'.  He laughed and agreed and then dropped a bomb on me. He asked if I had ever done a sleep study test.  I just looked at him in shock and said no.   Apparently the first time or two that he heard me he absolutely panicked.  He said that at times it sounds like I am gasping for air and it sounds just like his father did before he started using a sleep machine for sleep apenea!    To say I was blown away is an understatement.  He asked if my ex ever mentioned it.  'Uhhh no, well he did tell me that I snored but never that it sounded scary.....but then is that shocking my ex only cared about himself and wasn't at all concerned about my well being!'     Jason says it is a consistent problem and the worst right after I fall asleep.  He also says he will try to record it so that I can hear what it sounds like.  I know this doesn't mean I have a problem...and I'm not going to panic or say I have any issues. This is just an observation from a non medical person.  However it is someone that cares and someone that wants me to live a long time!  So not panicked but I am going to say that I'm concerned!  

The Ugly

And bear with me...this sounds whiny...but has to be said to get to the point I'm trying to make!!!

A few years ago (10 years or more) I left a job that paid pretty decently and took a much lower paying job.  I had hopes that it would help my failing marriage.  I did it to get away from working second shift and to be closer to home.  It worked for us in that  my paycheck was not our  only income and the insurance was pretty decent. ($150 deductible and then a 90/20 plan).     In the ensuing years things  changed.   The insurance deductible is now $3000.  And  while I always had good reviews and was given more responsibilities the pay never increased.  "No raises this year" , "there is a hiring freeze so even though we are moving you up to a higher level position you won't get the pay increase" and then "someone left and we aren't filling the position so we are divvying up the work....so we are adding this responsibility to you".  So my pay stayed low....abysmally low!   When my marriage ended I had to move in with my parents because, well it's not exactly easy/possible to survive on a job that is only a tick above minimum wage.   Yes, I look for work and apply.  Yes I have a college degree.  No, teaching is a closed door for me.  This isn't the post for why...but I have written about it on this blog.....  

So all of that to say that I work a full time job where extra money is something that is scraped from the leftover pennies.   The two major car repair bills in December and January crippled me financially.  Buying a pair of tennis shoes is a hardship....buying bras is a hardship (seriously good bras are so expensive...why??? I lucked out and found three on a sale rack a few months ago....not exactly what I wanted but they were my size and with a good percentage  off and at $10 a piece I took them!!  But I so desperately needed bras that those three bras get a lot of use and I need more!).  

To say that finances stress me out is an understatement.   I wake up in a panic thinking about my car that has over 200k miles on it. I worry a LOT about it!

So with money being tight....it's no shock to realize that the health insurance with that super high deductible is a health insurance that I can't afford to use.  

I am however grateful to have a job....even though I am dissatisfied with the pay, the insurance and a multitude of other things pertaining to this job.

And that is the ugly.....because even if I wanted to have this snoring/gasping for air thing checked.  I can't afford it!!!

The Summary

I may or may not have a problem.  I'm not going to worry myself sick over that also.   I can't.  It would only be counter productive.

I started to think about blogs I've followed, stories I've read and situations I've heard of.  Weight can very well affect sleep in a negative way.  

Heck maybe it is the spring pollen and Jason was just tired when he said it happens consistently!

A visit to the doctor is not going to happen at the moment!

Weight loss seems to be my option for attacking this possible issue. 

Wow, did I just get a huge motivator thrown into my lap???  Wasn't I just saying the other week that I was searching for something to continually motivate me?   I was looking for an event like a concert or a trip....

The Plan

The plan is this and its simple.   Lose weight!!!

I know how to do it.   Calories ingested versus calories spent.  Simple in theory.

Now I just need to do it!!!!!

It's here!!!!

Spring is here!  I'm pretty sure!   Yes I've been saying it for weeks that I want spring to be here but this time I'm pretty sure it is here!  

Why do I say that????  Well let me talk about my weekend first and it will all be clear within time!

We knew it was to be gorgeous so we decided to take our bikes out!   On Saturday we rode our bikes on the Chesapeake and Ohio Canal  near the Monocacy Aqueduct   

 

The weather was a bit cool but perfect for biking!   The canal was not busy too which made it extra nice.  For some reason this ride just did in my legs.  They were tired!!!   We turned earlier than we had planned (thank heavens) because Jason was also struggling but we knew why...his fancy-dancy shocks needed air and he said it was riding on a puffy marshmallow....so every rotation of his pedal he lost at lelast 50% of his effort into the bounce.  Hahaha. 

We explored a bit at the aqueduct after we got back and then called it a day.   While we were out we did see a few blue bells but we actually had a nice conversation about can't wait to see the turtles and the vibrant colors of flowers and such.  Basically we longed for all of the things that would scream to us telling us that spring was here!

On Sunday we awoke and had a leasurly morning and then an early lunch before heading back to the canal.  This time we headed just east of Great Falls .   We pulled our bikes off the car and prepared ourselves to ride.  

 

Once we were ready we hopped onto our bikes and headed eastward toward Georgetown/Washington D.C.     

Almost immediately I threw on the brakes and skidded to a halt!   Why?   I saw spring!!!!!    

 

Turtles everywhere!   They had come out from under where they were burrowed for the winter and they were enjoying the sun!   Hip hip hurray!!!!  

And bugs...they came out too!

We also saw a few kinds of flowers dotting edge of the path. What a treat!!!!

The ride was interesting.  The canal is always a neat place to ride!!!

 

 This trip however seemed full of fun and interesting features!   We passed a handful of locks and canal structures.  

 

We looked longingly at the numerous little trials off the towpath.  We explored a few but plan on coming back as they look like good beginner trails for me to go off road, thus maybe we can avoid another tumble !!  We checked out the pumping station, the dam and the rapidly moving river.

 

We noticed that one of the old houses along the canal was open so we went and checked it out.  

It was the Abner Cloud House.  Which is apparently one of the oldest houses in the area (they said only one other house is older).  It pre-dates the Chesapeake and Ohio canal and was there when George Washingtons Canal was in operation.  

 

So many things to see.... even an old marker for miles left to D.C. Or should I say 'miles to Washington's City'?

 

And when we got to Georgetown (the eastern end of the canal) we got off our bikes and explored a bit.  Ok, most of our time there was spent watching the hubbub going on around the Four Seasons Hotel....secret service agents were everywhere!!!

It was an awesome ride!!!!!

Eventually we got back to the car and we headed home.  We stopped to wash the bikes (and my car).  They needed it as we hadn't washed off the salt from last weeks beach trip! !  We still had a bit of time before it got dark so we went to the park and while we went to walk, we ended up sitting on a park bench and enjoying the evening, and the site of a sunken tugboat!

So the best part???? I ended the first two days of April with 33.12 miles!!!!!   I'm well on my way to my April mileage goal!!!

Food for the weekend....not so good.  But I can clean it up!  And I WILL!!!

Boomerang weight

So the other day I talked about my two meals of Chinese and the fact that it was ok as long as it was only one day!  My last few weeks have not been the greatest.  I was at the top end of my caloric range for the last umpteen days!  Not off the rails but definitely not where I should be to be losing!!!!!  Just too much and poor options.  

 

I haven't looked too much at my miles since last week....half of the weekend my Fitbit was uncharged....and my charger wasn't anywhere near.  Oops!

Exercise for last week and this weekend....nearly non-existent!    

 

The whole week was pretty much a crazy week of just skimming and doing nothing to get myself to my goals.

So I was really nervous about stepping onto the scales for my unofficial weigh in this morning.   Very nervous.  I had teetered at 238 pounds for weeks...and last week got down to 236.  I was afraid I had gone right past 238 into the 240's!   Luckily it wasn't that bad.   I'm like a boomerang that is returning to 238.....that must be my current boomerang weight!   Shucks!   But I did it to myself!!!

We had a relaxed weekend.  We did some shopping, explored an old chapel and graveyard,

 

Went to some antique stores and an old mill....

 

And just relaxed together.

I saw this bumper sticker at one of the shops we went to...

 

 

I used to sign emails and blog posts by finishing off with 'think thin'. And that is so true.....

And then at another one I saw this...

How perfect since that is after all part of my blog title!!!

They both simply reminded me of where I want to go and what I have to do to get there!!!

One persons junk......

Back to the grind......another weekend in the books.   We took this weekend easy.  Jason's knee was bothering him as was the burning pain on the top of my foot.  So we took it easy.  We did some geocaching, hit up a few stores and walked some on the canal.  Nothing strenuous and nothing overly rough on the legs and feet!  

Lander Lock on the Chesapeake and Ohio canal

So the running challenge.   Jason responded to the Thursday  and Friday runs that I wrote about on Friday.  He responded with a nice run to put him 2/10ths  of a mile above me!   I knew that running in Friday night  was out.  I thought about waking up at 5 to run before work on Saturday but that didn't happen.  I then thought about leaving work and stopping at the parking lot right down from his apartment (where we were meeting right after work) and running a circle around the parking lot to get my .21 miles to take the win, hopping in my car, hitting save on the mapmyfitness app and then driving the 1 minute to his house...there would be no way for him to recover!!!  But I decided that was underhanded and that I would 'let' him win this week!  (I may have to pull out that trick in a future week!!!!)

The last few weeks or so I have been really struggling with self image.    Jason is very vocal about telling me that he loves me and that I am beautiful.  Even better his actions stand firm behind his words.  But recently I have struggled with not scoffing at his compliments.    I have laid in bed alone and just wanted to scream and shout and say 'what in the world are you looking at because it's not what I see in the mirror!'  

I have long wondered about something...and it clicked a few weeks ago.   Before I started trying to lose weight about 10-11 years ago I was happy with myself.   I looked in the mirror and I didn't have a problem with

 myself.   I was happy.....but somehow in the last 12 years or so I started to look in the mirror and see something different. A person I wasn't happy with!   I've written for years on here that losing weight is a process that starts within us...it's a deep belief that we are worth it.  Self worth is so important in this journey....because it's not an easy path to change your life!   (Some days and weeks will be easy but some will be difficult as you fight off cravings and say no to something you really want...as you fend of friends and family that mean well and as you claw your way to health!). So what happened to me to go from a gal that felt self worth to someone that looked in the mirror and said 'eewww'??   A crappy marriage happened to me.    My ex husband NEVER said anything about my weight!  I will give him credit on that front.  He was always passively supportive of me going to weight watchers and going for runs and whatever. But his disinterest in me as a woman and marital partner took its toll on my self worth.  Actions speak louder than words!   Waaaaay louder!   And I felt unworthy, ugly and yes....fat!   When things started going south in my marriage I decided to lose weight....for a man...to make my husband love me!!!!   Of course it didn't work....his problems went way deeper than a few pounds on or off of my body (if I can call 130 pounds a 'few pounds'. Hahaha)  by the time I finally stopped accepting responsibility for his actions of disinterest it was too late.   The seeds of poor self worth had already been firmly implanted in my head.    I learned this feeling....it came because someone (who is obviously stupid...I can say that now it took me years to get to that point) who was supposed to love and treasure me did not do their job that hey had vowed to do.  Through no fault of my own (well the only fault of mine was marrying him and staying married as long as I did...but that's a whole different story!) I have a skewed view of myself!

So how does one shake these feelings and beliefs?  

 I think the first part is just accepting that while some people don't see value...others will.   It's the old adage that  'one persons junk is another persons treasure'.   For me this happened through friends in my life that showed me in their actions that I was a good friend, that I was an awesome person just the way I was.   It was someone telling me that I was lovable! (And I will forever be grateful for the people in my life ...most of whom are sadly no longer in my life....their purpose in my life is over and life moved us on in differing directions....but I have thanked them!)

The second part, and much more difficult part I think is simply to 'fake it until you make it'.     When you are given a compliment, learn to (force yourself to) accept it graciously!!!!  The compliments will keep coming...accept them all!   Don't scoff and roll your eyes.   Accept them graciously!   By accepting them and actually going through the motions of at least acting like you believe them you are admitting there might be some validity!   Slowly you'll believe them more and more!!!   Retrain your mind!!!!

There will always be stupid people that won't see our value and will through their actions make us feel inferior.   There will always be cruel people that will see our value but it scares them because they see more value in us then themselves so they will do things to put us down.  

Fat....thin...chunky....string bean....pleasingly plump....model thin....it doesn't matter we are all gorgeous in our own way!!!!  And I know this is a cliche but it it absolutely correct, 'true beauty comes from within'.   The most gorgeous woman in the world becomes ugly when they start spewing filth and hatred from their mouth!   The most handsome man becomes undesirable when we see him kick a puppy!  (or whatever!!). 

I'm a work in progress....and while I have made great leaps and bounds to rediscovering my self worth, I will continue to fake it until I make it because I KNOW I am worth the effort!  (We all are!!)

  

Snow snow go away!!!

Lets talk about the life events first....I'll get to the healthy stuff at the end! (Ok, healthy stuff will be interspersed through the whole thing I guess because losing weight and trying to move to a healthy lifestyle IS part of life and has to be incorporated....)    

Snow......arrrggghhh!!!   I don't want this!  They are calling for a mega snow event in my area this weekend.  I do NOT want it!  Take it back!   Send it somewhere else!   

As we get closer they are predicting somewhere between 1 and 2 feet.

It's not that I mind being snowed in for a day or two.  I'm working on a to do list of things to occupy myself while I'm sequestered at my house. (Ultra important things like organizing my file cabinets!)   It is the fact that I am going to be stuck there and it ruins the chances of me doing what I WANT to be doing. First, I had to cancel and reschedule a breakfast date with two friends.  Yes, Saturday morning I was supposed to meet with two gals I used to work with and while we are meeting in my town, they each have a 30 -45  minute drive to get to my town (one is north of me and the other south...I'm smack dab in the middle)  We have already rescheduled the breakfast girl gossip/chat date, so while I'm disappointed that it's being cancelled; it is going to still happen, just a little delayed.    But that doesn't make me feel ok about this snow. OK OK OK, let me admit what the real problem is.... I probably won't get to see Jason this week because of the snow.  Hey, this is a HUGE deal to me...and to him (yes, he's talked about it too!).   Yes, we are to that point in our relationship where we don't like to go without seeing each other for too long.

We have talked...we live 4 miles apart.....but the midway point (one route) is right near a Dunkin Donuts (drat...more donuts) and a Burger King (double drat...that's bad too!)....wait...and a Chinese Restaurant (triple drat.....sodium city!)....and wow....a repeat of what I ate bad last weekend!!!!    So we have jokingly laughed about walking to the midway point.  (That is if he doesn't intentionally go stay with his parents and get snowed in there in order to help his parents clear the driveway and walks...which he has talked about doing.)   That would be good exercise....but not sure it is a valid option that we will actually utilize though...but we have actually vocalized and laughed about it.   Because seriously....a two mile walk in a foot or two of snow is reasonable right?????

Either way, I am trying to be positive about this pending blizzard. 

***Positive that it will be over as fast as possible. (So I can go collect a hug and a kiss!) 

*** Positive that the weather will be in the 40's next week with no chance of snow...meaning that any lingering snow removal and after affects of the snow will rapidly disappear. (Hey, that's the forecast!)  

 ***Positive that at least I will be getting a lot of exercise as I shovel us out!  (Shovel in hand.....one eye on my niece and nephews to ward off any incoming snowballs...either way, I'll be moving!)

***Positively glad that this is my weekend off so I don't have to sit back and worry about driving to work or getting home from work if I'm there while it gets bad!  (Jason has repeatedly talked about this as a positive, even though he also laments about the non-MF weekend in his cards)

***Positive that spring is right around the corner!  (Wishful thinking.........fervent prayer.......)

Food yesterday?  I was right at 1300 calories.  I aim for 1200 but consider anything within 100 calories right on target...so I did well.   It was difficult.  I grabbed food at home before I hooked up with Jason last night and I was SOOOO tempted to get a drink/smoothie that had calories while we were out.  I stuck with water though!   I had already hit the 'complete entry' tab on myfitnesspal...I didn't want to go back and have to correct...and I already knew I was at the upper limit of my calories for the day.  So water it was!   Yes, I ate more carbs than I should have...but lets get the calories in line first and then I will work on dropping the carbs!   Baby steps!

The water is going well!  I am consistently getting in at least 'close' to 64 ounces of water.  Most days over that amount.  I still use my trusty water jug for work days. 

  

On the weekends I tend to go toward bottled water as I'm usually out and about and it is just more handy.  My weekends with water consumption have been easier than before because Jason pounds the water.....it's easier to remember to do when someone else around you is drinking a river dry also!

And back to the snow.....Seriously?  I need to move back to Florida!

Weekend control

Day two of August is here.  I'm doing ok with my eating.  I really was just a thing of saying "I'm going to do it" and actually doing it.  Todd and I even stopped for ice cream at one point and I managed to have my ice cream and eat it too.  Yes, I had to adjust something in the budget for later in the day...but I managed.  And my weight has dropped quite a bit. (yeah, I'm sure some of my weight being up on Monday was due to water retention due to the chinese food, mexican food and pizza that I consumed in the days leading up to the weigh in...ohh and the lack of water and flood of Diet soda).  So it's working.

I've worked out pretty regularly this week.  I've been happy with what I've done.  Ok, I'm happy that I worked out every day.  I'm not happy because I want to do more....

The weekend is upon me.  I personally find it so much easier to eat 'right' on weekdays. I"m in a routine.  Routines are good.  On weekends life goes upside down and I have to loosen my reigns on the control sometimes.  Wait, wait wait.......I am ALWAYS still in control.  No one forces food into my mouth. (well not usually...Todd has been known to shove snacks in my mouth.).   Yes, I am in control.  I may have more limited options and I may have to use more willpower, but I'm still totally in control!

No exercise for me!

Ahhhh what a crazy busy fun weekend!   It started on Friday afternoon when I got off work at 2.  Todd and I planned to go play tennis.  However, the plans fell through due to unforeseen circumstances.  I wasn't too upset as it was really supposed to be my day of rest.  :-)   We instead enjoyed a nice drive a good dinner out and we got our grocery shopping done.

Saturday dawned and I headed out for my morning run.  My first mile was rough, my breathing was all out of whack.  I figured it out though.  One glance at my heart rate monitor cleared it straight up!  I was pushing the total absolute max heart rate.  My time for my first mile was my best ever.  However, I had to drop down to intervals after that first mile because my heart rate was just totally jumping really high.  Intervals are good though.  :-)

I got home from running and did a few things around the house and started making lunch.  While I was making lunch Todd asked me what I bought because FedEx was making a delivery.  I couldn't think of anything....until I remembered that I won a box of goodies on My journey to fit's blog   I was so super excited that I just ripped that box open.  Nice handwritten letter on top but more to come as I dug into the box!

Super excited about my goodies I finished lunch.  We had picked up some fresh foods; zucchini and corn on the cob and watermelon.  It is not yet in season here so I was skeptical about the taste but it was scrumptious and healthy!  :-)    After cleaning up from lunch I put my new bike on top of my car and headed to town.  I visited with my family a bit and then my brother and I got down to business.  He checked out my new bike and we headed to the bike shop to purchase me shoes.  If I'm doing it, I may as well do it right even though that concept of being actually clipped in an 'part' of the bike petrified me.  So I bought the bike shoes and we got the correct cleats/clips whatever you call them to correspond with my pedals.  We went back to his house and he fixed my bike up and then we went outside.  I'm not going to lie.  I was absolutely terrified at the thought of clicking into the pedals and heading down the road chained to my bike (ok, maybe chained is being a bit melodramatic.....anklecuffed to the bike????....ok ok ok, attached to the bike).  I  KNEW that my fear was irrational, lots of bikers do it so I pushed through my fear and did it anyway.   It wasn't too bad.  We rode up and down a road a few times, stopping and letting me practice with the shoe pedal combination.  He also gave me some pointers on the basics of the bike.  I will admit, I almost knocked us both down at one stop sign.  You see, I got my one foot off the pedal and wasn't thinking so I flung my other foot to the side and well, I was still attached to the bike.  My brother was quick and grabbed my arm and HE was smart enough disengage from his bike pedals.  I still was clipped in and well...almost took us both down one more time before I actually disengaged and had both feet firmly on the ground.  I would definitely have gone down had he not caught me.  Oops.  :-)  (and yes, I'm afraid of falling....but you know what.......that's another fear that I just have to deal will.  This is not about being comfortable.  This is about me making me the best version of MF that is possible!

After we got my bike squared away my brother and I walked to the fair grounds with his kids and watched a bit of the BMX races.  Afterwards we all went to dinner.  I got home about 8 happy and tired. 

Saturday morning I woke up early but relaxed.  I had decided to forgo the 6AM run and do it later.  I wanted to check out my new road bike and I wanted my legs as fresh as possible.  SOOOO I simply walked with Sherry at our normal walking hour.  It was a great walk...and great talk!  I went home and once again did a few things at the house (precious few) and prepared an early lunch. (turkey burgers on the grill...YUM!).  Todd left and I sat down to relax a bit and let my food settle before I bit the bullet and headed out on my bike.   Whadya know?  I fell asleep.  So I didn't get out until around 2. 

Soo my first road bike road ride was today. (not counting the check it out and teaching ride yesterday).  Wow...my nether regions are sore and achy.  I did have the foresight to wear a pair of padded bike shorts but still...yikes!   It wasn't an easy ride.  Can I say BRU-TAL???   Yes, it was rough.  TERRIBLY rough.  But I pushed through and knocked out 10 miles!   My body was sore and achy.  I'm not being in that position so my arms were sore, my back was sore and well....it was just rough! My legs are not used to hilly terrain so they were burrrrning!   I passed by the studio where Todd was working and I had a momentary thought of stopping and asking him to take me home (or just taking his car and picking him up later...ha ha ha) but that is cheating.  I didn't even take the short way home...I kept on.  It wasn't pretty and I was so thankful to get off that bike but  I've had my base ride......it only gets better from here!  (and I'm sure I'll soon feel my nether regions again!)   My brother asked me later if I had to walk any hills.  I honestly said that I did NOT walk any hill.  I pushed through them all...I was slow as molasses (wow, isn't this slow thing becoming a common theme) but I pushed up any hill I encountered.  And best of all?????   I didn't fall off my bike by forgetting that I was clipped in!  I didn't die.......see my fears were irrational!

I had barely arrived in my driveway (I was actually talking to a neighbor who was checking out my bike...he's also a biker and was double checking my brothers work in helping me find my bike and getting it set up for my size and all that stuff....he whole heartedly approved) when my brother called me.  They were going to be in my general neck of the wood and wanted to know if I would like to join them on the canal with my bike for a ride.  Now mind you I was never so happy to see my drive way just minutes earlier but of course I said yes!    I carted my litespeed into the house and came out mere minutes later with my trek.  I popped that sucker on the car and off I went.  8.32 miles on the canal, a little shopping in Shepherdstown and a quick stop at the studio and I was finally home at 7. 

I seriously thought about going out for a run.  I WANTED to.  SOOO Bad.  But I realized that three house of activity was probably where I needed to end it.  I instead headed to the kitchen.  I baked some zucchini chips, cooked off some carrots for my upcoming work lunches and made todd some pistachio biscotti.  I crazily enough wasn't hungry.  I did snack on fruit throughout the day.  I was a bit worried about it and wondered if I was just pulling a "I'm not hungry for what I have planned to eat' mood.  So I switched it up and thought about would I want to eat if it were going to be an ice cream sandwich or a piece of cake.  My answer was no.  I wouldn't want it even if it were that.  SOOOO I knew I wasn't hungry and I didn't force myself to eat just because that what was planned. 

So it's now 10PM.  My weekend is just about over.  BOOOOOOOO   IT was fun.  It was neat.  And crazily enough, I don't FEEL as if I exercised at all.  I just had fun! (well....my nether regions are telling me that I exercised on a small road bike seat!)  Yup, there was no exercise for me.....it was just all plain and simple fun!!!

And one last shot of the river that I took during the ride on the canal!