First of all.....that dessert is sooooo yummy! :-) (healthy too)
I just wanted to say that I made it through today. I ate healthy, I exercised and I was 100% with it. Taking it one day at a time, this was a successful day!
I'm actually even a bit excited about working the program again. I was feeling tenative about writing that...but I think that I needed to write it.
Thanks to everyone that has been there today while I did some soul-searching and self discovery!
Monday, September 08, 2008
Last minute update before bed!
Why?
Why did I start this journey? What motivated me to get my butt off the sofa and lose weight?
For this I will go back and retype soemthing that I wrote back before I even started this blog......
As the new year rolled around, I started looking deeply at my life. The year was 2003. I had just turned 30 years old and I was at my highest weight yet, all 330 pounds of me. I was experiencing weight related problems. Me knees were constantly hurting and making a lot of noise. There were nights when I couldn't sleep due to the pain in my knees. My stomach was starting to literally fal over the top of my pants so badly that my stomach was rubbing agaisnt the button of my pants. This led to a collection of sores and blood blisters on my protuding stomach. They would continue to rub and then bleed. FOr months I bandaged my stomach so that the raw skin wouldn't be irritated further. Bigger pants, the belly still overflowed.....it made no difference. I was noticing that I was panting and struggling when I climbed a set of stairs. All in all, my body was telling me that I was overweight and in dire straights. Uppermost in my mind though, was the fact that I had just turned 30. I had always talked about having children. Turning 30 really hit me. When I was in my 20's I always thought, "Well, I"m overweight...but I've got youth on my side. But when I hit 30 I worried because I now had two distinct strikes against me. Both of these things would conspire to prevent me from conceiving and carrying a healthy child full term when that special time came in my life. I decided to lose weight.............
I did lose about 50 pounds at that point....and fell off the wagon. Thankfully I was able to maintain most of that weight loss until I got serious again, which was at the very beginning of 2006. Here is an excerpt from this blog from early 2006
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
Why is this so important now?
I have been overweight for years. I remember when I was young. I was not overweight. I was actually rather petite and small. My family moved from Pennyslvania to Florida when I was 12 years old. I wore a size 6...and I remember, I was so upset to go to that six. Suddenly; within the first year of moving, I gained weight. They said it was a combination of the 'culture shock' and me hitting those wonderful years that we all have to go through. However, my weight slowly crept up through high school. I went to college and it was probably one of the best times for my weight. I was always on the go.....for a while we exercised religiously at the "Y" (thanks Suzy and Rach....it was actually fun to go with ya'll) True, the Dairy Queen beckoned on the way back to the dorm...but I was so active that I was actually at one of my lowest weights in years. 214. I cringe when I see that......214 pounds was a good weight in my mind??? I left college and the weight started slowly creeping back on. I didn't work on it...I just let it happen. I had one time where I was close to my college weight...but it was due to a stressful job....NOT worth it. AND the downside.....when I left the job and the stress was alleviated....the weight returned with a vengence. When I say with a vengence, I not only returned me to my 'pre-stress job' weight...I added about 40 more pounds extra.I turned thirty and panicked! I wanted to have a baby someday. I had always had one 'strike' against me. I was big...it would make a full term/healthy pregnancy/baby more difficult. BUt I always had 'youth' on my side. All of a sudden I had that "I'm in my thirties, I'm getting old" moment. I started working on my weight...and got myself back down to my 240. I plataued....and I have sat at 240-250 for the last 2-3 years. During those last few years I've made half hearted attempts to kick start this process. However I just couldn't do it. Sadly enough, it is/was watching my mother struggle. She is a few years shy of 60 and she is struggling with her weight. It is terrible to see.....her health and her very life are contingent on her weight. I know that she has been lucky...it has only been in the last few years that these 'weight related' health issues have really surfaced. However, they are here and they are attacking! Typical mother, even as she struggles, she worries about my husband and I. She doesn't want us to go through what she is going through....and she knows it will most likely happen to us if we don't get this excess weight off.Just recently it hit me. This weight is going to kill me. Not tomorrow...or the next day (hopefully). But eventually, it could very easily catch me in it's clutches. I can't let that happen. I have to fight!For the last few years I have said..."well, if I get down to to 175 pounds I think that would be great". Just recently, I decided that was cutting myself short. Honestly, if I get there and just can't get it futher, I'm going to consider myself a sucess. However, I'm aiming more for what they "SAY" I should weigh....SO I am aiming for roughly 150... 100 pounds!
SO, where does that leave me? Todd and I still talk about having a family......even as we get older (I'll be 36 in a few short months). I still know that higher weight and poor habits could kill me. But I've eliminated a lot of the risks that higher weight brings for those issues. Now it is plain and simple something I have to do for me. Two seasons ago on the Biggest Loser Bob Harper (or was it three seasons? Oh whatever) the trainer was flabergasted because one of the pair of contestants gave up half way through a challenge and quit saying "we can't win, we'll be here forever" and they gave up. Bob's face was just absolutely shocked and his words stuck with me. They were, "why start something if you are not going to finish it". THAT is where I'm at....I started this journey, I need to finish it for me. That is the one and only reason! And it's the biggest reason a person could ever have. Honestly, this reason is probably more important that getting pregnant and having a baby or anything. I'm doing it for me!
For this I will go back and retype soemthing that I wrote back before I even started this blog......
As the new year rolled around, I started looking deeply at my life. The year was 2003. I had just turned 30 years old and I was at my highest weight yet, all 330 pounds of me. I was experiencing weight related problems. Me knees were constantly hurting and making a lot of noise. There were nights when I couldn't sleep due to the pain in my knees. My stomach was starting to literally fal over the top of my pants so badly that my stomach was rubbing agaisnt the button of my pants. This led to a collection of sores and blood blisters on my protuding stomach. They would continue to rub and then bleed. FOr months I bandaged my stomach so that the raw skin wouldn't be irritated further. Bigger pants, the belly still overflowed.....it made no difference. I was noticing that I was panting and struggling when I climbed a set of stairs. All in all, my body was telling me that I was overweight and in dire straights. Uppermost in my mind though, was the fact that I had just turned 30. I had always talked about having children. Turning 30 really hit me. When I was in my 20's I always thought, "Well, I"m overweight...but I've got youth on my side. But when I hit 30 I worried because I now had two distinct strikes against me. Both of these things would conspire to prevent me from conceiving and carrying a healthy child full term when that special time came in my life. I decided to lose weight.............
I did lose about 50 pounds at that point....and fell off the wagon. Thankfully I was able to maintain most of that weight loss until I got serious again, which was at the very beginning of 2006. Here is an excerpt from this blog from early 2006
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
Why is this so important now?
I have been overweight for years. I remember when I was young. I was not overweight. I was actually rather petite and small. My family moved from Pennyslvania to Florida when I was 12 years old. I wore a size 6...and I remember, I was so upset to go to that six. Suddenly; within the first year of moving, I gained weight. They said it was a combination of the 'culture shock' and me hitting those wonderful years that we all have to go through. However, my weight slowly crept up through high school. I went to college and it was probably one of the best times for my weight. I was always on the go.....for a while we exercised religiously at the "Y" (thanks Suzy and Rach....it was actually fun to go with ya'll) True, the Dairy Queen beckoned on the way back to the dorm...but I was so active that I was actually at one of my lowest weights in years. 214. I cringe when I see that......214 pounds was a good weight in my mind??? I left college and the weight started slowly creeping back on. I didn't work on it...I just let it happen. I had one time where I was close to my college weight...but it was due to a stressful job....NOT worth it. AND the downside.....when I left the job and the stress was alleviated....the weight returned with a vengence. When I say with a vengence, I not only returned me to my 'pre-stress job' weight...I added about 40 more pounds extra.I turned thirty and panicked! I wanted to have a baby someday. I had always had one 'strike' against me. I was big...it would make a full term/healthy pregnancy/baby more difficult. BUt I always had 'youth' on my side. All of a sudden I had that "I'm in my thirties, I'm getting old" moment. I started working on my weight...and got myself back down to my 240. I plataued....and I have sat at 240-250 for the last 2-3 years. During those last few years I've made half hearted attempts to kick start this process. However I just couldn't do it. Sadly enough, it is/was watching my mother struggle. She is a few years shy of 60 and she is struggling with her weight. It is terrible to see.....her health and her very life are contingent on her weight. I know that she has been lucky...it has only been in the last few years that these 'weight related' health issues have really surfaced. However, they are here and they are attacking! Typical mother, even as she struggles, she worries about my husband and I. She doesn't want us to go through what she is going through....and she knows it will most likely happen to us if we don't get this excess weight off.Just recently it hit me. This weight is going to kill me. Not tomorrow...or the next day (hopefully). But eventually, it could very easily catch me in it's clutches. I can't let that happen. I have to fight!For the last few years I have said..."well, if I get down to to 175 pounds I think that would be great". Just recently, I decided that was cutting myself short. Honestly, if I get there and just can't get it futher, I'm going to consider myself a sucess. However, I'm aiming more for what they "SAY" I should weigh....SO I am aiming for roughly 150... 100 pounds!
SO, where does that leave me? Todd and I still talk about having a family......even as we get older (I'll be 36 in a few short months). I still know that higher weight and poor habits could kill me. But I've eliminated a lot of the risks that higher weight brings for those issues. Now it is plain and simple something I have to do for me. Two seasons ago on the Biggest Loser Bob Harper (or was it three seasons? Oh whatever) the trainer was flabergasted because one of the pair of contestants gave up half way through a challenge and quit saying "we can't win, we'll be here forever" and they gave up. Bob's face was just absolutely shocked and his words stuck with me. They were, "why start something if you are not going to finish it". THAT is where I'm at....I started this journey, I need to finish it for me. That is the one and only reason! And it's the biggest reason a person could ever have. Honestly, this reason is probably more important that getting pregnant and having a baby or anything. I'm doing it for me!
Thoughts, plans, goals and a little soul-searching
Let me get the bad and the ugly with first and foremost. I weighed in this morning at 186.6. YIKES! That is abominable! Utterly disgusting and sickening! That is way up! Much more than I prefer....I'm in the danger zone. (anything outside of 5 pounds from my lowest weight is danger done!!!!)
So I started really thinking deeply about where I am, where I want to be, and what has brought me to this point (long term and this short term situation). I've come up with a couple things.
The first thing is excuses. I use them way too much. If I work outside hard I use it as an excuse, "ohhh I worked hard, that means that I can have a little extra food, even though it's over my daily points". I also use the excuse in the morning. I had been so diligent about exercising first thing in the morning. I've gotten out of that habit. My excuse? "Well, Todd and I are planning on working outside this afternoon when I get off of work, I don't want to over do it". That is an excuse. There is no guarantee that we will work outside, and many times something comes up so that we end up NOT working outside or going for that 'walk' or 'ride' or whatever. I need to simply get my butt moving, do the exercise in the morning and get it over with. If I'm LUCKY, those tentative plans to work outside (manual labor/activity) or a walk, or a ride will materialize and I'll get a double workout that day! Working out twice is NOT going to hurt me!
Secondly, when my daily points are gone, I am done! No ifs ands or buts. I realized a long time ago in this journey with Weight Watchers that unfortunately, my body does not lose weight if I eat those 35 flex points. It just doesn't happen. These last weeks, I've not been bad. I've gone over my daily points by 3-5 a day. That should be perfect.......it's the flex points that I have at my disposal....but I gain! I can not eat them. So I need to eradicate them from my mind. If I DO eat something after that point, it sure as heck better be a zero point food item! Basically, when my dailies are done...I'm done. Period, end of story!
Next, WATER WATER WATER! The last few days I've been TERRIBLE with water! One day last week (Thursday) I was actually thirsty and I couldn't drink enough water! That is not a good position to be in. They say that by the time that you are thirsty, that you are already dehydrated! I tried to drink a lot the next day....but I don't' think I made a dent in the dehydration (just from watching for and knowing what to expect when I do start drinking and when my body does seem to finally agree that I'm giving it enough water). So Friday I did fairly well......and then Saturday came. I don't think I even drank 10 ounces of water. I did drink a can of diet Sunkist and I had a diet Pepsi at dinner....oh and lets not forget the chai latte that I had! What is up with that? Those are TREATS......a treat that I give myself when I've finished my water for the day!!! That is a steadfast rule!!! Sunday I did a little better. I did pretty much get 64 ounces down.....but I'm still watching and waiting for my body to give me the sign that it trusts me to drink enough water......it hasn't happened yet. I'm floating on at least 5 days of dehydration......with one or two days of attempts to end that situation stuck in there. DRINK DRINK DRINK!
I guess when I look at it and if I'm honest with myself I can say that I'm tired. I get tired of being diligent. So I slip up...my weight goes up a bit, it scares me, so I am diligent and get it back down a bit. And then the cycle starts again. I was hoping that my wager with my friend would help.....in the first 4 days, I've gained about 4 pounds! Uhhh what's wrong with that picture???? It's not the weight watcher program that is not working. It's me. I'm not working the program. Weight watchers works! I know what to do. I know what needs to be done and I'm doing it.......somewhat half-heartedly. But to have weight watchers actually work, it takes more than knowing what to do. It takes actually DOING it! Yes, it's been a good thing to see my results from this last year...to realize that I am pretty much maintain my current weight loss. However, I'm tired of sitting on the fence! I've been sitting here way too long. I need to decide which way I'm going to go. Am I going to lose more, or am I done?
I do not want to be done......I just need to get my head totally back in the right place......100% of the time. OK, I'm human 95% of the time!
So I started really thinking deeply about where I am, where I want to be, and what has brought me to this point (long term and this short term situation). I've come up with a couple things.
The first thing is excuses. I use them way too much. If I work outside hard I use it as an excuse, "ohhh I worked hard, that means that I can have a little extra food, even though it's over my daily points". I also use the excuse in the morning. I had been so diligent about exercising first thing in the morning. I've gotten out of that habit. My excuse? "Well, Todd and I are planning on working outside this afternoon when I get off of work, I don't want to over do it". That is an excuse. There is no guarantee that we will work outside, and many times something comes up so that we end up NOT working outside or going for that 'walk' or 'ride' or whatever. I need to simply get my butt moving, do the exercise in the morning and get it over with. If I'm LUCKY, those tentative plans to work outside (manual labor/activity) or a walk, or a ride will materialize and I'll get a double workout that day! Working out twice is NOT going to hurt me!
Secondly, when my daily points are gone, I am done! No ifs ands or buts. I realized a long time ago in this journey with Weight Watchers that unfortunately, my body does not lose weight if I eat those 35 flex points. It just doesn't happen. These last weeks, I've not been bad. I've gone over my daily points by 3-5 a day. That should be perfect.......it's the flex points that I have at my disposal....but I gain! I can not eat them. So I need to eradicate them from my mind. If I DO eat something after that point, it sure as heck better be a zero point food item! Basically, when my dailies are done...I'm done. Period, end of story!
Next, WATER WATER WATER! The last few days I've been TERRIBLE with water! One day last week (Thursday) I was actually thirsty and I couldn't drink enough water! That is not a good position to be in. They say that by the time that you are thirsty, that you are already dehydrated! I tried to drink a lot the next day....but I don't' think I made a dent in the dehydration (just from watching for and knowing what to expect when I do start drinking and when my body does seem to finally agree that I'm giving it enough water). So Friday I did fairly well......and then Saturday came. I don't think I even drank 10 ounces of water. I did drink a can of diet Sunkist and I had a diet Pepsi at dinner....oh and lets not forget the chai latte that I had! What is up with that? Those are TREATS......a treat that I give myself when I've finished my water for the day!!! That is a steadfast rule!!! Sunday I did a little better. I did pretty much get 64 ounces down.....but I'm still watching and waiting for my body to give me the sign that it trusts me to drink enough water......it hasn't happened yet. I'm floating on at least 5 days of dehydration......with one or two days of attempts to end that situation stuck in there. DRINK DRINK DRINK!
I guess when I look at it and if I'm honest with myself I can say that I'm tired. I get tired of being diligent. So I slip up...my weight goes up a bit, it scares me, so I am diligent and get it back down a bit. And then the cycle starts again. I was hoping that my wager with my friend would help.....in the first 4 days, I've gained about 4 pounds! Uhhh what's wrong with that picture???? It's not the weight watcher program that is not working. It's me. I'm not working the program. Weight watchers works! I know what to do. I know what needs to be done and I'm doing it.......somewhat half-heartedly. But to have weight watchers actually work, it takes more than knowing what to do. It takes actually DOING it! Yes, it's been a good thing to see my results from this last year...to realize that I am pretty much maintain my current weight loss. However, I'm tired of sitting on the fence! I've been sitting here way too long. I need to decide which way I'm going to go. Am I going to lose more, or am I done?
I do not want to be done......I just need to get my head totally back in the right place......100% of the time. OK, I'm human 95% of the time!
Sunday, September 07, 2008
picking up the pieces...AGAIN
I did so dang good today. I kept my points under control. I ate dinner and I actually had 3 points leftover. NOT so after I had a banana with peanut butter and a sliver of the dessert that Todd made (basically pudding in a chocolate crust). ARRGGGHHH!!!!! I was so proud of myself and then I totally lost it! Where is my motivation? Where is my will power? No, better yet, what the heck am I thinking??????????????
Report from eating at a very tempting place
I didn't do too badly yesterday. We ate at really odd hours...which does kinda mess up the day. I had breakfast at a somewhat normal time. And at lunchtime I had a bowl of green beans and a granola bar. Damn, those things are like crack! We ate dinner at about 4:30...a bit early. We went to Hoss's. While we were there, I realized that why I actually liked Hoss's was for the bread bar and the dessert bar. Neither is fantastic...but they are OK in their own way. :-) Well, since I've been trying to watch, I try to stay away from those areas...but it's difficult and I often fail. Well, yesterday I was determined to not 'fail' in my attempt to eat healthy there. I chose not to order a meal. NOW, if I order I end up getting Chicken breast (usually BBQ'd) and steamed broccoli. But I decided that I didn't need the chicken....so I just got the bar. I didn't do tooooo badly. I got a huge salad......and I didn't put too much bad stuff on it...OK, just a little cheese and salad dressing but oh well. I did have about 3-5 spoon fulls of each type of soup that they had (broccoli cheese, potato and chicken noodle). and about two bites each of mac salad and potato salad. The dessert bar......I had some fat free/sugar free jello and some fat free/sugar free pudding (that was tasteless...let me tell you) and I did splurge and have a little rectangle of cake.....1 inch by 2 inches. Overall I feel as if I did well. So why do I feel so bloated and icky????
Well, the bad thing...my water consumption yesterday.....I'd say I'd be lucky if I got in 10 ounces of water! Heck, I probably didn't even drink that!
Well, the bad thing...my water consumption yesterday.....I'd say I'd be lucky if I got in 10 ounces of water! Heck, I probably didn't even drink that!
Saturday, September 06, 2008
A work in progress
Work in progress, that's what I am!! I ate way too much and way to poorly last night! I know I know...I swore I was not going to. I can't even begin to describe my thought processes while I was indulging. On one hand I was disgusted with myself....on the other hand I was just blindly doing it (eating). It wasn't as if I actually came up with an excuse or anything (so I guess I did conquer that aspect from my last entry...haa haa haa) but I just ate. OH my word, I feel so bloated and icky this morning! Just plain fat! And you know what...that is the utterly crazy thing. When I was HUGE (lets face it 315 pounds was huge) I never felt 'fat'. I was fat, but I never felt it. Now that I've lost a ton of weight (well, maybe not a full ton, but 130 pounds give or take) when I indulge I feel bloated and icky. Isn't that ironic?
I'm off work this morning. A rare treat on a Saturday morning. I"m happy to say that I'm still lounging around the house in my nightgown. :-) I have always loved those days when I can do NOTHING and just read and relax and not even worry about those basic fundamental things like getting dressed! :-) So yes, even though I woke up at 5:30-6:00 AM, I came out to the living room, and curled up on the couch with my book. I finished that one (I was almost done). I tiptoed around and picked out another book to read....and I flew through that one also! I just finished that a bit ago. I got out my camera and I've played a bit, taking pictures of the cats. Desi poses for the camera. Ethel is way to interested in the camera...she wants to be sniffing it and 'helping' mommy take a picture. Lucy on the other hand HATES to have her picture taken. I can SOMETIMES snap off ONE picture before she glares at me and runs away! Jodi....well if the cat would move, she would probably take a great picture....because she doesn't care about anything....however she rarely moves (ok, she does move somewhat). I plan on relaxing a bit more.....maybe pull out a third book and read some more. But I do have to get a shower here before too long. I'm going into mom and dad's to see a friend and her husband that will be there. They are missionaries to the Philippines, teaching school in a mission school. Their departure to go back has been a bit delayed, but they ALMOST have their complete support from what dad told me last night. So anyway, Rachel is going to be there this afternoon. So I'm going to run up and see her. (she actually changed the time to coincide with a time that they knew that I Could make it). Hopefully she'll have her baby with her! It's so hard to believe that she has an 8 month old baby! I mean, I can remember it like yesterday when she was in 2nd and 3rd grade herself and I was babysitting her. Yeah, I think I should shower before I go up there! :-)
After I see Rachel for a bit, Todd and I are going to go out to eat, and then get groceries. Yep, real exciting day. I think I'm going to run into the camera shop and look for a new tripod for my camera. The one that I've been using I don't like. It's the one that we had purchased a while back for use with a different camera. There is nothing wrong with it......I just don't like it. So I'm going to see about getting a new one. :-)
Nothing else new to talk about.........so I think I'm going to head off to my next book!
I'm off work this morning. A rare treat on a Saturday morning. I"m happy to say that I'm still lounging around the house in my nightgown. :-) I have always loved those days when I can do NOTHING and just read and relax and not even worry about those basic fundamental things like getting dressed! :-) So yes, even though I woke up at 5:30-6:00 AM, I came out to the living room, and curled up on the couch with my book. I finished that one (I was almost done). I tiptoed around and picked out another book to read....and I flew through that one also! I just finished that a bit ago. I got out my camera and I've played a bit, taking pictures of the cats. Desi poses for the camera. Ethel is way to interested in the camera...she wants to be sniffing it and 'helping' mommy take a picture. Lucy on the other hand HATES to have her picture taken. I can SOMETIMES snap off ONE picture before she glares at me and runs away! Jodi....well if the cat would move, she would probably take a great picture....because she doesn't care about anything....however she rarely moves (ok, she does move somewhat). I plan on relaxing a bit more.....maybe pull out a third book and read some more. But I do have to get a shower here before too long. I'm going into mom and dad's to see a friend and her husband that will be there. They are missionaries to the Philippines, teaching school in a mission school. Their departure to go back has been a bit delayed, but they ALMOST have their complete support from what dad told me last night. So anyway, Rachel is going to be there this afternoon. So I'm going to run up and see her. (she actually changed the time to coincide with a time that they knew that I Could make it). Hopefully she'll have her baby with her! It's so hard to believe that she has an 8 month old baby! I mean, I can remember it like yesterday when she was in 2nd and 3rd grade herself and I was babysitting her. Yeah, I think I should shower before I go up there! :-)
After I see Rachel for a bit, Todd and I are going to go out to eat, and then get groceries. Yep, real exciting day. I think I'm going to run into the camera shop and look for a new tripod for my camera. The one that I've been using I don't like. It's the one that we had purchased a while back for use with a different camera. There is nothing wrong with it......I just don't like it. So I'm going to see about getting a new one. :-)
Nothing else new to talk about.........so I think I'm going to head off to my next book!
Friday, September 05, 2008
Turn this around...no more excuses
Oh my word, I soooo can not be the one to GAIN weight during this challenge with my friend! I was up to 185 this morning! Ok, I actually just started to laugh in disbelief when I wrote that! I do think some of that may be water retention...I just literally could not get enough to drink yesterday. By about 3 in the afternoon, I had already drank a gallon of water....and I was still thirsty! They say that if you reach the point of being thirsty, that it's too late, you are dehyrated. My problem though...we worked outside yesterday (over two hours in the morning and aboutan hour or so in the evening)....and I kinda/sorta/maybe used that as an excuse to eat a little extra......5 points extra for the day. Yes, I journalled evey bite! But my new edict: No more eating extra! I have gathered my control about me and I'm not doing it again! I was exercising this morning (45 minutes on the exercise bike) and I was watching the biggest loser austrlian version season 2. The one guy was talking about a difference in him....how he used to wake up and his first thought was, "i want to stay in bed and sleep and not face the day" Well, I'll admit that I do have days like that....everyone does....but for the most part, I get up raring to go now....and I get up early. It used to be nothing for me to sleep until 9 or so...and be happy doing it. Now my body naturally wakes me up between 6 and 6:30. And yes, I go to bed at the same time! Crazy!
Either way...I'm through with the excuses! When my points are gone, I'm done! And that is a difficult statement to make today....we had a BIG breakfast! I'm eating only 4 points while I'm here at work (that's what I packed...that's what I'll eat....I have no problem sticking with that....). That will leave me 6 points for dinner. I can do manage that.....lots of zero pointers coming my way to help round out my meal!!! :-)
All I have to say is Julie (the friend that I have this wager/reward thing going with) ,watch your back...I'm going to stage a comeback! (even though I'm 2.2 pounds HIGHER than I was when we started a mere 2 days ago...all I can do is laugh)
I was super productive this morning. I woke up at my normal time. I immediately hopped onto the exercise bike and rode for 45 minutes. I had just finished that and had settled in at my comptuer to catch up on some emails when I heard Todd a stirring in the bedroom. I went and asked him when he would like breakfast (we had agreed last night that our big meal today would be breakfast). "NOW" was his answer. SO I went out to the kitchen. I made his coffee and went to get the bacon out of the fridge. Well, I saw how DIRTY and crudy the bottom of the fridge was. (I don't notice it as much when the fridge is full of food...but we are a bit bare right now...lol). SOOO I cleaned out the fridge! I cooked the bacon and then made us pancakes. (todd's with pecans...mine nutless) Yes, I thoroughly enjoyed the pancakes and bacon! I cleaned up the kitchen and washed the dishes. At that point I decided to do the last of the laundry. This really gets me...I've done 2 loads of laundry on Wednesday, 2 loads of laundry on Thursday and I did 2 more loads today! This is NUTTY! But when I think about it it does make sense. Already today I've worn a nightgown, workout clothes, shorts and teeshirt after my shower, and now I'm in my clothes for work! ANYWAY, two loads of laundry washed and hanging on the line. I created our menu for meals next week....and started the grocery list of the necessities to complete those meals and some other things that I know we need. I played around and took my picture for envisage365, packed my lunch and got ready for work and I still made it to work by 9:45 :-)
Todd informed that we need to pick green beans again. Don't know when exactly (either tonight or tomorrow) but that means I'll be canning green beans sometime really soon!
Either way...I'm through with the excuses! When my points are gone, I'm done! And that is a difficult statement to make today....we had a BIG breakfast! I'm eating only 4 points while I'm here at work (that's what I packed...that's what I'll eat....I have no problem sticking with that....). That will leave me 6 points for dinner. I can do manage that.....lots of zero pointers coming my way to help round out my meal!!! :-)
All I have to say is Julie (the friend that I have this wager/reward thing going with) ,watch your back...I'm going to stage a comeback! (even though I'm 2.2 pounds HIGHER than I was when we started a mere 2 days ago...all I can do is laugh)
I was super productive this morning. I woke up at my normal time. I immediately hopped onto the exercise bike and rode for 45 minutes. I had just finished that and had settled in at my comptuer to catch up on some emails when I heard Todd a stirring in the bedroom. I went and asked him when he would like breakfast (we had agreed last night that our big meal today would be breakfast). "NOW" was his answer. SO I went out to the kitchen. I made his coffee and went to get the bacon out of the fridge. Well, I saw how DIRTY and crudy the bottom of the fridge was. (I don't notice it as much when the fridge is full of food...but we are a bit bare right now...lol). SOOO I cleaned out the fridge! I cooked the bacon and then made us pancakes. (todd's with pecans...mine nutless) Yes, I thoroughly enjoyed the pancakes and bacon! I cleaned up the kitchen and washed the dishes. At that point I decided to do the last of the laundry. This really gets me...I've done 2 loads of laundry on Wednesday, 2 loads of laundry on Thursday and I did 2 more loads today! This is NUTTY! But when I think about it it does make sense. Already today I've worn a nightgown, workout clothes, shorts and teeshirt after my shower, and now I'm in my clothes for work! ANYWAY, two loads of laundry washed and hanging on the line. I created our menu for meals next week....and started the grocery list of the necessities to complete those meals and some other things that I know we need. I played around and took my picture for envisage365, packed my lunch and got ready for work and I still made it to work by 9:45 :-)
Todd informed that we need to pick green beans again. Don't know when exactly (either tonight or tomorrow) but that means I'll be canning green beans sometime really soon!
Thursday, September 04, 2008
What will my punishment be????
I did NOT exercise yesterday. Todd and I relaxed all afternoon and evening. Nope, I didn't do a single solitary thing other than make dinner. Well, I took a nap and I read a book! Does that count????
This moring, my weight was up to 183.2. 4/10ths up. I've been REALLY thirsty though.....don't know why. I've been drinking well over my normal amount of water. So that probably has a lot to do with that! And if not...no worries. Tis all good. :-)
This morning, I stumbled out of bed. I refused to look at the exercie bike....and didn't even look out onto the back porch to see my outdoor bike. I was NOT exercising. My heart just wasn't in it. I settled in at my computer for a relaxing morning. (I mean, hey, why not continue with the relaxation eh?) It wasn't more than 20 minutes until I heard Todd enter the kitchen. And I heard that voice that I love so much.... "Lets go out an work on some trees this morning". Well, who am I to say no. So out I went. We worked outside for about two and a hafl hours. The picture is of one of the trees as it came crashing down to the ground. For safeties sake, I always move way far out of the way when a big tree is coming down so I grabbed my camera and snapped the whole process. I have about 15 picsof it comign down...quite interesting. I may go onto photoshop soon and see what I can do with that! :-)
Todd and I may go outside tonight and work a bit more. Most of the trees that we are taking down in order to put up the sheds have been taken down. SO I think we are going to do prep work on the ground for the sheds tonight.....and then Saturday and Sunday (we are both off...woo hooo) we are going to put up at least one shed! YIPPEE!!!! My screened in porch will be cleared out of some of the storage stuff! I can't wait!!
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
Weigh in thoughts
My weight is down a bit more today. After reading other peoples responses and thoughts on the scales and weighing every day. I do agree that one can become obsessed with the scales. I think for me, I become even more crazy when I do not weigh myself every day. I stress more when I don't know! I understand that there are daily fluctuations and such, and I'm actually OK with that. (I get more frustrated because I'm the same weight that I was a year ago.......although as I've stated in previous posts, that is actually a very very good thing).
In talking to a friend today (another friend that is losing weight...not the one that I have the bet/wager with) we were talking about our daily weigh ins and the fluctuations. We are going to set goals for ourselves each week......send them to each other and on the 'goal day' we are going actually evaluate our weekly weights as a whole group instead of 7 individual days. This will also give her accountability as she no longer attends WW meetings. :-)
In other news, it's Wednesday...and here I sit at work. Someone is on vacation so my day off got cancelled. Oh well. Todd had some meetings in town this morning (I'm missing my first Wednesday of the month lunch out with mom). I get off at 3PM. The plan is to get out in the yard and work some more on taking down some trees and clearing some land. If Todd is not feeling up to it (he's got some kind of sinus issue...or ear issue....and no, he's refusing to go to the doctor) I'm going to go out and plot out our garden for next year. This year we left our garden at our old place.....we hope to have it at our new place next year. If I can, I'll start digging and getting the ground ready very soon! That way come spring I'll just have to pull back the straw, it will already have been composted (I'll do that this fall), and I'll just have to do some light tilling and she'll be ready to plant. So that is my exercise for the day!
In talking to a friend today (another friend that is losing weight...not the one that I have the bet/wager with) we were talking about our daily weigh ins and the fluctuations. We are going to set goals for ourselves each week......send them to each other and on the 'goal day' we are going actually evaluate our weekly weights as a whole group instead of 7 individual days. This will also give her accountability as she no longer attends WW meetings. :-)
In other news, it's Wednesday...and here I sit at work. Someone is on vacation so my day off got cancelled. Oh well. Todd had some meetings in town this morning (I'm missing my first Wednesday of the month lunch out with mom). I get off at 3PM. The plan is to get out in the yard and work some more on taking down some trees and clearing some land. If Todd is not feeling up to it (he's got some kind of sinus issue...or ear issue....and no, he's refusing to go to the doctor) I'm going to go out and plot out our garden for next year. This year we left our garden at our old place.....we hope to have it at our new place next year. If I can, I'll start digging and getting the ground ready very soon! That way come spring I'll just have to pull back the straw, it will already have been composted (I'll do that this fall), and I'll just have to do some light tilling and she'll be ready to plant. So that is my exercise for the day!
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
Catch up!
Oh wow! I could have sworn I wrote something in here yesterday! Man, just goes to show you what a little time off of work does to a girl!
Yes, I had off from work yesterday as it was labor day. I actually started my day by heading up to my parents house and mowing their three properties. I beat it home and spent some time doing some things around the house (vacuuming, cleaning, mopping, two loads of laundry on the line, etc etc etc). And then I set up a table next to my desk so that I can work on some scrapbook pages. I'm so utterly far behind and I know me...if I don't have a place set up to work regularly, I'll just keep piling up and every once in a while pull everything out and rush through some pages...and I don't like the results! So I set up a scrapbook area next to my desk. It makes my 'office space' a bit cramped...but I"m actually really happy with it! I'm actually tickled because I know that I am happiest...(I have some type of inner peace or something ) when I"m allowing my creative self to flow. :-)
Yes, I had off from work yesterday as it was labor day. I actually started my day by heading up to my parents house and mowing their three properties. I beat it home and spent some time doing some things around the house (vacuuming, cleaning, mopping, two loads of laundry on the line, etc etc etc). And then I set up a table next to my desk so that I can work on some scrapbook pages. I'm so utterly far behind and I know me...if I don't have a place set up to work regularly, I'll just keep piling up and every once in a while pull everything out and rush through some pages...and I don't like the results! So I set up a scrapbook area next to my desk. It makes my 'office space' a bit cramped...but I"m actually really happy with it! I'm actually tickled because I know that I am happiest...(I have some type of inner peace or something ) when I"m allowing my creative self to flow. :-)
I scrapbooked most of the afternoon and made dinner (one of those dinners that you have to start 3 hours before it's time to eat...but ohhh so yummy). After dinner Todd and I went back into the yard to work some more....I think this past weekend we took down a total of 6 trees!
My weight. Yesterday morning, after all of that manual labor, I was exactly the same weight! This morning I was 183.2 pounds. Who knows what tomorrow will bring. Not overly worried about it. (actually I expect up a bit).
Well, I have a friend that is hoping to lose 10 pounds by early October. That is gonna be a tall order...but with persistence she can do it. BUT the problem..she like me is kinda stuck in a rut. We are both sitting at roughly the same weight....we try and it doesn't move so we get discouraged and eat. SO after she told me about her self goal, I started thinking. Hmmmm could we make it a competition???? SO I emailed her.......we've agreed......whoever loses the most weight by October 6th is the winner....the loser will fork over $20. Not a lot...but hopefully some friendly competition will spark us to try our hardest!
Lets see........anything else????? Nope!
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Sunny Sunday
Surprisingly my weight stayed the same....well almost (2/10ths of a pound up) from yesterdays weight. I KNOW that it was salt. I had lots of salty foods yesterday. But that's not why I'm shocked. You see, I kinda had a problem with the fruit dip that I made yesterday when I got home from the grocery store. I uhhhhh....ate the whole batch in one sitting. Yep....the whole darn batch.
Today, I've gone over my points. I've eaten mostly fruits and veggies though. :-) Not to mention that I worked outside, hard manual labor for 6 hours today. So I'm sure I"ll be OK today. The worst that today may bring me is some water weight. Although I did drink and drink and drink all throughout the day. :-)
Not much new to report. I FINALLY for the first time since March was able to say that I was caught up with all the chipping and shredding (using the wood chipper, making mulch). But, as soon as I turned it off, Todd asked me to help him....and we took down about 3 more trees....I organized the limbs and cut wood into two piles. Firewood pile and a pile to be chipped. (We don't have a fireplace so it's not like we need tons of firewood). I won't be able to start chipping that pile for at least 2-4 weeks. IT chips better if it's dry. I got a bit of sunburn on my shoulders today as I as wearing a tank top. Lets see...I got pretty much caught up on laundry. Tomorrow I"ll do towels and sheets...but for the most part I'm caught up. :-)
Tonight I'm just hanging out, Todd and I just finished watching a movie that we had started last night (that I fell asleep on). I"m just playing on photo shop, messin' with some pictures. Just playin'!
Today, I've gone over my points. I've eaten mostly fruits and veggies though. :-) Not to mention that I worked outside, hard manual labor for 6 hours today. So I'm sure I"ll be OK today. The worst that today may bring me is some water weight. Although I did drink and drink and drink all throughout the day. :-)
Not much new to report. I FINALLY for the first time since March was able to say that I was caught up with all the chipping and shredding (using the wood chipper, making mulch). But, as soon as I turned it off, Todd asked me to help him....and we took down about 3 more trees....I organized the limbs and cut wood into two piles. Firewood pile and a pile to be chipped. (We don't have a fireplace so it's not like we need tons of firewood). I won't be able to start chipping that pile for at least 2-4 weeks. IT chips better if it's dry. I got a bit of sunburn on my shoulders today as I as wearing a tank top. Lets see...I got pretty much caught up on laundry. Tomorrow I"ll do towels and sheets...but for the most part I'm caught up. :-)
Tonight I'm just hanging out, Todd and I just finished watching a movie that we had started last night (that I fell asleep on). I"m just playing on photo shop, messin' with some pictures. Just playin'!
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Sunless Saturday
The sun is not shining this morning. It's a pretty dreary day. Oh well. I wasn't planning on many (any) outside activities anway. It's a normal Saturday. Work until noon, go home and eat lunch and then head to town for the normal errends. Today I just have to go to Target and the grocery store. WOO HOOO. :-)
My weight dropped again this morning.....down to 183.6. That's 1.4 pounds down from yesterday and 3.8 from two days ago. Who knows what's happening. But hey, it's going down! Tha's all that matters!
My weight dropped again this morning.....down to 183.6. That's 1.4 pounds down from yesterday and 3.8 from two days ago. Who knows what's happening. But hey, it's going down! Tha's all that matters!
Friday, August 29, 2008
thoughts on my current status
Is it even physically possibe for someone to lose 2.2 pounds in one day? That's what I did. Who knows....who cares. I'm just going to continue 'working the program' an whatever happens happens. I worked so hard to make lifetime (just got it a few weeks ago..thanks to a doctors note) and now I'm stressed about keeping it. It's not worth it. If this is my bodies sweet spot, the weight that is 'perfect' or my body, then it's ok. I'll just bow out of going to the meetings. It truely isn't worth being stressed over, constantly wondering if I'm going to be 'under that mark' and worried about it. It's ok. I know the program. I can do continue this on my own. That said, am I giving up? NO, I'm still going to try to get my weight to shift downward. Optimally, I would LOVE to continue going to the meetings. And I can look at my body and see that there is more work to be done. But if this is where God wants me...then I'll stay here....and even if I don't atttend the meetings (due to my 'sweet spot' weight being right on the line of where I can be to maintain my lifetime status) then I'll be forever grateful for weight watchers for helping guide me in the correct direction and giving me the tools to continue this for the rest of my life.
I've been at this weight for just about a year now. It's really frustrating. For most of that time, I've exercised religiously, 6 days a week. (there have weeks here and there that have seen me fall off the exercise band-wagon, but never for long...and few and far between). I've made healthy choices with my food. (yeah, this is a lifestyle, I've splurged here and there also). But lets look at this in a healthy light. I've kept a whole lot of weight off for a YEAR. I didn't balloon back up 30 pounds and then lose it to get back to where I am now. I've kept each and every pound off. Well, within my preset 5 pound allotment. (I decided a while ago that I would be ok with my weight flucuating up 5 pounds from my lowest). I've only gone over that 5 pound flex allotment 2 or three times. Once was last year at christmas...it was a week of christmas parties coupled with a a surprise birthday party for me...oh and a mini vacation the same week. And then this week I'm over my 5 pound allotment. How far over......maybe 2 pounds. Nothing major. Just enough to freak me out! If I look at this realistically, I've managed something that many people can not do. I've not only lost 130 pounds...I've kept it off for a year! (135 if you take the low end of my five pound radius). The longer I can keep it off, the better my odds for doing it for a lifetime. How can I not be totally excited about this!
Not much new in normal 'life' stuff. Things are still backwards crazy for me. Life will just not let up. But all I can do is keep going full steam ahead and hope that someday (soon preferably) that things right themselves!
I've been at this weight for just about a year now. It's really frustrating. For most of that time, I've exercised religiously, 6 days a week. (there have weeks here and there that have seen me fall off the exercise band-wagon, but never for long...and few and far between). I've made healthy choices with my food. (yeah, this is a lifestyle, I've splurged here and there also). But lets look at this in a healthy light. I've kept a whole lot of weight off for a YEAR. I didn't balloon back up 30 pounds and then lose it to get back to where I am now. I've kept each and every pound off. Well, within my preset 5 pound allotment. (I decided a while ago that I would be ok with my weight flucuating up 5 pounds from my lowest). I've only gone over that 5 pound flex allotment 2 or three times. Once was last year at christmas...it was a week of christmas parties coupled with a a surprise birthday party for me...oh and a mini vacation the same week. And then this week I'm over my 5 pound allotment. How far over......maybe 2 pounds. Nothing major. Just enough to freak me out! If I look at this realistically, I've managed something that many people can not do. I've not only lost 130 pounds...I've kept it off for a year! (135 if you take the low end of my five pound radius). The longer I can keep it off, the better my odds for doing it for a lifetime. How can I not be totally excited about this!
Not much new in normal 'life' stuff. Things are still backwards crazy for me. Life will just not let up. But all I can do is keep going full steam ahead and hope that someday (soon preferably) that things right themselves!
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Kick in the butt
I woke up this morning to hear the rain pitter patter on the roof. The rain has finally arrived. They say that it's supposed to rain straight for the next 3 or 4 days. I actually don't mind the rain, there is something about a rainy day that is good.
I went out to the living room and started messing around on my computer. I just switched my adobe photo shop program (from one adobe photo shop to another) so that I can utilize the organize/catalogue feature. I'm pretty excited about this as organizing my pics has been something that I've wanted to do for quite some time. But I digress. I sat out there trying to talk myself into getting up and getting on the exercise bike. It just wasn't happening. Todd came out and he mentioned going to the gym. I think he picked up on my lack of motivation, it would have been hard to miss. When he suggested moving the canning shelf into the house (he painted it out on the screened in porch yesterday) I jumped at that! ANYTHING to avoid the gym. Well, whatdya know...the paint was still wet. SHUCKS. SOOOO off we went to the gym. I exercised for 60 minutes at a pretty high intensity. Yeah yeah yeah....felt good.
My weight...up 2/10ths of a pound. Now there is absolutely NO reason on earth why I would be up today! This is just absolutely crazy! Meanwhile, I sit here just feeling bloated and miserable. Yeah, I feel bloated and icky. There is no easy reason why I would be retaining water. I've been drinking my water. It's not that time of the month, I haven't eaten super high sodium foods. It just makes absolutely no sense. *Edit* I just had a new thought in the past I've eaten and I feel no effects of being 'bigger'.......but oh my word, I feel so 'fat' and bloated. Is my body finally willing to tell me when I've gained a little??? Is my body finally willing to say "stop"?????
Other than that, not much new happening here. Oh yeah, I joined in on a project....to take one picture a day of anything I want (something that defines my life, my day, my emotions...) for a year. Should be an interesting montage when it's done.
I went out to the living room and started messing around on my computer. I just switched my adobe photo shop program (from one adobe photo shop to another) so that I can utilize the organize/catalogue feature. I'm pretty excited about this as organizing my pics has been something that I've wanted to do for quite some time. But I digress. I sat out there trying to talk myself into getting up and getting on the exercise bike. It just wasn't happening. Todd came out and he mentioned going to the gym. I think he picked up on my lack of motivation, it would have been hard to miss. When he suggested moving the canning shelf into the house (he painted it out on the screened in porch yesterday) I jumped at that! ANYTHING to avoid the gym. Well, whatdya know...the paint was still wet. SHUCKS. SOOOO off we went to the gym. I exercised for 60 minutes at a pretty high intensity. Yeah yeah yeah....felt good.
My weight...up 2/10ths of a pound. Now there is absolutely NO reason on earth why I would be up today! This is just absolutely crazy! Meanwhile, I sit here just feeling bloated and miserable. Yeah, I feel bloated and icky. There is no easy reason why I would be retaining water. I've been drinking my water. It's not that time of the month, I haven't eaten super high sodium foods. It just makes absolutely no sense. *Edit* I just had a new thought in the past I've eaten and I feel no effects of being 'bigger'.......but oh my word, I feel so 'fat' and bloated. Is my body finally willing to tell me when I've gained a little??? Is my body finally willing to say "stop"?????
Other than that, not much new happening here. Oh yeah, I joined in on a project....to take one picture a day of anything I want (something that defines my life, my day, my emotions...) for a year. Should be an interesting montage when it's done.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
***I went ahead and went to the meeting. I liked the leader. She was upbeat and very willing to talk about her vices. It was obvious that she understands the struggles that occur in a long haul of weight loss. That is important to me. It was a fairly large group of attendees also. I guess I would estimate that there was about 20 people (remember, my meeting was just cancelled because it died away to pretty much no one). They were all talking amongst themselves pretty well. Seemed a bit cliquish but I"m sure that is just because I was on the outside looking in. I think I would be OK at that meeting. :-)
***I didn't get any exercise in today. Well, I did work in the kitchen for hours on end. I canned a bushel of pears and a half bushel of peaches. Does that count?
***My weight. I am really stumped. My weight has gone up again. There is absolutely no logic behind my weight! I''m way way way up! Devastatingly up! As in 187 pounds. I"m up like 5 pounds in the last few days! WHAT in the world??????????
***Life continues to scream obscenities at me. Just getting tired of it all......but I see no end in sight to the issues.
***I didn't get any exercise in today. Well, I did work in the kitchen for hours on end. I canned a bushel of pears and a half bushel of peaches. Does that count?
***My weight. I am really stumped. My weight has gone up again. There is absolutely no logic behind my weight! I''m way way way up! Devastatingly up! As in 187 pounds. I"m up like 5 pounds in the last few days! WHAT in the world??????????
***Life continues to scream obscenities at me. Just getting tired of it all......but I see no end in sight to the issues.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Should I????
My weight is up. What more can I say?
I'm just having a really rough couple days. Something came up, a personal issue that will remain un-talked about in this blog/journal. But this issue just hit me super hard. I feel as if the rug has been yanked out from under me. I just want to curl up in a ball and let the world pass me by for a bit while I recover. Unfortunately, that isn't the way that life works. I forced myself to be super productive this morning. I did two huge loads of laundry and have them out of the line, I prepared banana slices for dehydrating (they are dehydrating as we speak), I made banana muffins (no fear, I put pecans in them....I don't like nuts so no temptation there). I made a full breakfast for my honey. We went for a walk. I cleaned and vacuumed the house. I also made it to work on time at noon. And here I sit. Work is VERY slow today....I'm trying to stay busy so that I do not dwell on this issue. That's easier said than done.
Meanwhile, I'm really debating....do I try another weight watcher meeting tonight? Is it even worth my time with the way that I'm feeling? After the fiasco of a meeting that I went to last week I'm actually sorta dreading going to another meeting. (nope, not going back to the one from last week). I know that I sooo need to go to a meeting. I need to find a meeting that I can call my own and feel a part of. I need to get myself back under control. But to go when I just feel like crying??????
I'm just having a really rough couple days. Something came up, a personal issue that will remain un-talked about in this blog/journal. But this issue just hit me super hard. I feel as if the rug has been yanked out from under me. I just want to curl up in a ball and let the world pass me by for a bit while I recover. Unfortunately, that isn't the way that life works. I forced myself to be super productive this morning. I did two huge loads of laundry and have them out of the line, I prepared banana slices for dehydrating (they are dehydrating as we speak), I made banana muffins (no fear, I put pecans in them....I don't like nuts so no temptation there). I made a full breakfast for my honey. We went for a walk. I cleaned and vacuumed the house. I also made it to work on time at noon. And here I sit. Work is VERY slow today....I'm trying to stay busy so that I do not dwell on this issue. That's easier said than done.
Meanwhile, I'm really debating....do I try another weight watcher meeting tonight? Is it even worth my time with the way that I'm feeling? After the fiasco of a meeting that I went to last week I'm actually sorta dreading going to another meeting. (nope, not going back to the one from last week). I know that I sooo need to go to a meeting. I need to find a meeting that I can call my own and feel a part of. I need to get myself back under control. But to go when I just feel like crying??????
Monday, August 25, 2008
sympathy for those struggling with addictions
Wow, I must have been a heck of a lot more tired last night than I thought. I was at my computer and I had actually composed (in my head) what I wanted to write about on here. And this morning it hit me when I sat down here at my computer at work......"I can't remember actually writing/typing my entry." I literally had to go look at my blog to see if I had written and entry yesterday. NOPE! Dang, I'm losing my mind! Well, upon further thought....it's already gone!
My weight...still holding steady. I am however at the top of my 5 pound range that I seem to stay within. So I have to be really careful! I am actually somewhat amazed that I'm holding steady. My eating of late has not been all that great. Ohhh it hasn't been terrible, but I've not been eating as healthy and as on point as I could be eating. I've been exercising, and I use that as my 'excuse' as to why I'm eating more. I say things like, "well, I'm eating this extra such and such, but I exercised today so it is a wash when it comes down to it." Well, my eyes were just opened by a somewhat innocent remark from a friend. If I want to lose the weight, I need to stop doing that. Exercise is NOT an excuse to eat more. Not while I'm trying to continue to lose weight. Yeah, I know that some days when I have a killer workout, that I may actually end up eating a bit more, my body will need it. BUT not on a consistent basis. For a while I would eat something and automatically calculate exactly how much exercise I would have to do in order to work off what I was eating. I did this especially with some of those 'special foods' or anytime I went above and beyond the planned intake of food. I need to get back to that. Because let me tell you, when I would realize that I'd have to ride my bike for such and such time, or walk for umpteen hours, or whatever.....the food just didn't seem worth it anymore!
Yesterday, I was very active. We got up and did the whole gym thing. However when that was over we went to Williamsport. This past weekend was the annual Canal Days there. Now Williamsport isn't a huge thriving metropolis or anything...but we parked in the middle of Williamsport and walked down to the basin (on the canal). We walked around down there a bit before getting ready to head up to the park at the other end of the town. We actually were going to pay the $1 a piece and ride on the trolley up to the park (they had a trolley running back and forth all day). We waited for the trolley, but when it came, it was full of people and there was no room. SOOOO we decided to use shoe leather express. We talked about it...and how we should have opted to walk in the first place. So we got to the park and did the whole circuit around the park. We stopped to talk to some people that we knew but we were on our feet the whole time. :-) Not to mention some shopping.....and the grocery store(and putting it all away, cleaning and preparing the fruits and veggies....and dishing out the ice cream into individual containers and all the prep work I did on the food when I got it home!)
While we were out in our travels yesterday, I saw a sale on bathing suits. Now I have a bathing suit.....but uhhhh it's a size 24. Teee hee hee. I used that one last year. I don't have a place to swim regularly...so this is pretty much really only at a hotel when Todd and I are travelling or something, and it's more a relaxing swim and sit in the hot tub, so I've just held onto the suit with one hand and gone with the flow. BUT, this sale.......they didn't have many options for me....but $8 bucks for a suit that normally cost $40 or $50 (these are suits that I've looked at all summer because $40-50 is still a good deal in it's own right). I couldn't pass it up. The problem you may be asking???? Well, they didn't have my size...yeah yeah yeah, like I even know what size I would wear. OK seriously, I'm wearing most size 12 stuff. They only had the suit in size 8. I bought it. I told Todd..."if I never wear it, then someone at goodwill will have a brand new suit...and we will have just made someone very happy" Well, I brought it home and just for a laugh I tried it on. I know that bathing suits have a little leeway for sizes. Yeah, the suit is tight...but if I had to wear it tomorrow..I could. Crazy crazy crazy....does this mean that I may actually get down to a size 8??????? Even if it is just a bathing suit???????
We have a family member that has a drug and alcohol problem (on my husbands side of the family). He's been totally sober for the last few years....living in a 'safe' setting. He moved away from that setting on TUESDAY into a place of his own. But just on Saturday night he went off on a binge...called us all drunk (and yesterday also). In the past I had no sympathy for him when I heard about it. But you know what.....having come to grips with my own addiction and how much of a pull it has on me.....I actually really feel bad for him. Yes, he is in control of his own destiny and I do not condone it at all...but how many times to I fail with my own addiction to food? Over and over and over. Yeah, I have to confront my addiction numerous times each day and an alcoholic can take steps to avoid the temptation totally....but when I fail, it's not life threatening (generally speaking) ..it means I gain a few pounds. I just actually could really empathize with his situation, even while we were telling him on the phone that if he doesn't get himself straightened out, our support that we give him will end immediately. But it was just really interesting to view it from the perspective of having now freely admitting that I have an addiction also.
Woke up early this morning and rode the bike for 45 minutes. My calves are sore now. I guess it's a combination of yesterday and today's exercise. Who knows!
I'm determined to stay 100% on this plan today!!!! No ifs ands or buts!
My weight...still holding steady. I am however at the top of my 5 pound range that I seem to stay within. So I have to be really careful! I am actually somewhat amazed that I'm holding steady. My eating of late has not been all that great. Ohhh it hasn't been terrible, but I've not been eating as healthy and as on point as I could be eating. I've been exercising, and I use that as my 'excuse' as to why I'm eating more. I say things like, "well, I'm eating this extra such and such, but I exercised today so it is a wash when it comes down to it." Well, my eyes were just opened by a somewhat innocent remark from a friend. If I want to lose the weight, I need to stop doing that. Exercise is NOT an excuse to eat more. Not while I'm trying to continue to lose weight. Yeah, I know that some days when I have a killer workout, that I may actually end up eating a bit more, my body will need it. BUT not on a consistent basis. For a while I would eat something and automatically calculate exactly how much exercise I would have to do in order to work off what I was eating. I did this especially with some of those 'special foods' or anytime I went above and beyond the planned intake of food. I need to get back to that. Because let me tell you, when I would realize that I'd have to ride my bike for such and such time, or walk for umpteen hours, or whatever.....the food just didn't seem worth it anymore!
Yesterday, I was very active. We got up and did the whole gym thing. However when that was over we went to Williamsport. This past weekend was the annual Canal Days there. Now Williamsport isn't a huge thriving metropolis or anything...but we parked in the middle of Williamsport and walked down to the basin (on the canal). We walked around down there a bit before getting ready to head up to the park at the other end of the town. We actually were going to pay the $1 a piece and ride on the trolley up to the park (they had a trolley running back and forth all day). We waited for the trolley, but when it came, it was full of people and there was no room. SOOOO we decided to use shoe leather express. We talked about it...and how we should have opted to walk in the first place. So we got to the park and did the whole circuit around the park. We stopped to talk to some people that we knew but we were on our feet the whole time. :-) Not to mention some shopping.....and the grocery store(and putting it all away, cleaning and preparing the fruits and veggies....and dishing out the ice cream into individual containers and all the prep work I did on the food when I got it home!)
While we were out in our travels yesterday, I saw a sale on bathing suits. Now I have a bathing suit.....but uhhhh it's a size 24. Teee hee hee. I used that one last year. I don't have a place to swim regularly...so this is pretty much really only at a hotel when Todd and I are travelling or something, and it's more a relaxing swim and sit in the hot tub, so I've just held onto the suit with one hand and gone with the flow. BUT, this sale.......they didn't have many options for me....but $8 bucks for a suit that normally cost $40 or $50 (these are suits that I've looked at all summer because $40-50 is still a good deal in it's own right). I couldn't pass it up. The problem you may be asking???? Well, they didn't have my size...yeah yeah yeah, like I even know what size I would wear. OK seriously, I'm wearing most size 12 stuff. They only had the suit in size 8. I bought it. I told Todd..."if I never wear it, then someone at goodwill will have a brand new suit...and we will have just made someone very happy" Well, I brought it home and just for a laugh I tried it on. I know that bathing suits have a little leeway for sizes. Yeah, the suit is tight...but if I had to wear it tomorrow..I could. Crazy crazy crazy....does this mean that I may actually get down to a size 8??????? Even if it is just a bathing suit???????
We have a family member that has a drug and alcohol problem (on my husbands side of the family). He's been totally sober for the last few years....living in a 'safe' setting. He moved away from that setting on TUESDAY into a place of his own. But just on Saturday night he went off on a binge...called us all drunk (and yesterday also). In the past I had no sympathy for him when I heard about it. But you know what.....having come to grips with my own addiction and how much of a pull it has on me.....I actually really feel bad for him. Yes, he is in control of his own destiny and I do not condone it at all...but how many times to I fail with my own addiction to food? Over and over and over. Yeah, I have to confront my addiction numerous times each day and an alcoholic can take steps to avoid the temptation totally....but when I fail, it's not life threatening (generally speaking) ..it means I gain a few pounds. I just actually could really empathize with his situation, even while we were telling him on the phone that if he doesn't get himself straightened out, our support that we give him will end immediately. But it was just really interesting to view it from the perspective of having now freely admitting that I have an addiction also.
Woke up early this morning and rode the bike for 45 minutes. My calves are sore now. I guess it's a combination of yesterday and today's exercise. Who knows!
I'm determined to stay 100% on this plan today!!!! No ifs ands or buts!
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Green beans in my future
Well, yesterday while healthy food options for the most part, I did manage to eat too much at that darn potluck. I did have a sliver of cake and about 20 regular chips and then about 3 or for teaspoons full of chicken salad. The fruit dip that I partook was fat free (made by yours truly) so that wasn't bad. I did have a bit of veggie dip...which I'm sure was NOT fat free or even low fat though. :-( I just felt terribly bloated after this. On mostly fruits and veggies. Crazy!
I woke up this morning at around 3 or 4. I really struggled with getting back to sleep. I don't know why. Finally at 5:30 or so I gave up and got ready for work (nope, didn't have to be here until 8). The question of the hour....why in the heck didn't I exericise this morning? I really should have. Yeah, I'll be in the kitchen most of the afternoon and evening working on canning green beans, so I'll at least be moving...but really, I should have exercised! Mental lapse or something.
Nope, didn't weigh myself either! I can at least say that I did NOT binge or overeat this morning! I had toast for breakfast....yeah yeah yeah...maybe not totally the low carb, bread/pasta limiting plan I set out to do this week...but hey, what's a girl to do?
I woke up this morning at around 3 or 4. I really struggled with getting back to sleep. I don't know why. Finally at 5:30 or so I gave up and got ready for work (nope, didn't have to be here until 8). The question of the hour....why in the heck didn't I exericise this morning? I really should have. Yeah, I'll be in the kitchen most of the afternoon and evening working on canning green beans, so I'll at least be moving...but really, I should have exercised! Mental lapse or something.
Nope, didn't weigh myself either! I can at least say that I did NOT binge or overeat this morning! I had toast for breakfast....yeah yeah yeah...maybe not totally the low carb, bread/pasta limiting plan I set out to do this week...but hey, what's a girl to do?
Friday, August 22, 2008
Postive influence
Have I managed to positively influence my co-workers? We are having a birthday party celebration today. I had talked them into doing fruit and veggies. I brought some healthy fruit dips and such and then everyone brought in fruit and veggies (and another gal brought in the veggie dip). We did have one gal bring in a cake...NOT a huge sheet cake (over kill for an office where we only have 6 workers....and that's what we used to get..yikes...we had cake coming out of our ears) but a normal 9 inch cake! When I came in I did notice that there were some 'non-healthy' things there....chips had managed to make it to the table...and who knows what else. But you know what.......it's better than previous potlucks! WHEW! I can actually eat at this one!!!!
My weight, down a hair this morning....still up...but going back down...and I'm at the top end of that 5 pound range that my body seems to like......so I'm glad to be going back down!
Nothing much else to say. I think I have to do more green beans this weekend. Who knows what else!
My weight, down a hair this morning....still up...but going back down...and I'm at the top end of that 5 pound range that my body seems to like......so I'm glad to be going back down!
Nothing much else to say. I think I have to do more green beans this weekend. Who knows what else!
Thursday, August 21, 2008
binge
Ok, so I binged last night on my eating. What's up with me? Why did I want to continue to eat after dinner? Ok, wrong question...not why did I want to. I know that answer. I wanted to because I'm totally addicted to food. The question is....why did I give in to my desire? Lets see.....a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, about 1 serving of baked tortilla chips, a weight watcher sunday bar, some pickles....hmmm I'm thinking I missed something.....but you get the point! I ATE! I probably had the points for one thing (the sundae cup) . OH yes....not one but TWO 100 calorie packs also went down the hatch last night!
Ok, does it help to know that the 100 cal packs that I dove into last night are GONE GONE GONE! No temptation left there! I guess that's a good thing! (and in case you want to know...it was the chocolate covered pretzel 100 cal packs.....bad bad bad thing to have in the house!)
Yes, I exercised this morning. At least there is something positive!
Ok, does it help to know that the 100 cal packs that I dove into last night are GONE GONE GONE! No temptation left there! I guess that's a good thing! (and in case you want to know...it was the chocolate covered pretzel 100 cal packs.....bad bad bad thing to have in the house!)
Yes, I exercised this morning. At least there is something positive!
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