Dreams collide with reality

 It was early, right after 6AM (hey, that’s early for me) and I was in my car heading down the road.  I had decided that this morning I was going to run on the canal (C&O canal).  I saw a local family putting their kayaks up on their cars (large family…took two cars apparently).  I saw this family loading their kayaks and I had that momentary thought that “wow that would be the kind of family that I always wanted to have as an adult”.  Now, honestly, part of that was said in sadness that I don’t have the kids and family that I always dreamt of.  But there was some awe that ‘fat MaryFran’ would actually be seriously thinking about such an active lifestyle with longing).  All  of sudden I had an epiphany.  Yeah, sometimes it happens that way….one second you are mindlessly driving and the next minute you have thought of something utterly profound.  Anyway, my thoughts and how they progressed.

 

It’s no secret that in December I had a really difficult time with facing up to the fact that my life is not what or where I wanted it to be. (sorry, I can’t post links on my phone so you get the web address…really classy eh?http://mfclingan.blogspot.com/2012/12/turning-40.html)  I had dreams all my life and I had to face up to that fact.   I accepted the responsibility that my decisions in life have brought me to this position in life.  I accept my roll.  But it wasn’t until today that I realized what I actually did to bring me to this point.

 

The problem?   I had so many dreams and hopes for my future.  The problem?  I dreamed the dreams of a thin person. When I dreamed I had myself being active and fit and healthy.  I dreamed about things that would happen but really only if I were thin.  I dreamed the dreams of a thin person.

The problem was reality.   I wanted everything that a thin life can offer a person.  I wanted the large family.   I wanted the family that threw the kayaks on the car (ok ok ok, maybe not kayaks, but the CONCEPT) and went off for the day, skis in the winter.  I wanted that.  I wanted so much.  Reality lead me down the path to where I am today.   When I dated, got engaged and eventually married I gravitated toward a person that had a similar lifestyle to mine.  What lifestyle am I talking about?   We both had relatively sedentary lifestyles.  Oh yeah, we dabbled in active pursuits, he had a bike and I bought one and we rode…but for the most part, we were sedentary.  We both loved our food and therefore made it an integral part of our life.  My decisions in life were based upon the reality that I was a fat girl.

 

Thin dreams collided with the reality of a fat lifestyle.  I never took the initiative to be the thin person that was IN my dreams and now I don’t like the fallout.   But it’s not too late to change.    Some dreams are pretty much totally dead (sadly enough) but I can still change my life to enable thin dreams to come to fruition. 

 

 

I was a self fulfilled prophecy this morning.  I woke up early and actually dragged myself out of bed for my run.  As I walked across the bedroom my legs felt like they were anchors on the bottom of my body.  In fairness, I wake up many days with my body stiff and achy from whatever torture, er exercise that I put it through the day before.  However, In my mind I was thinking, “This is NOT going to be a good run.”   Regardless, I pushed onward.  I planned to do between three and four miles on the canal.  I started off and immediately I felt heavy.  I felt like I was going ‘fast’ but I could tell that my heart rate was way to low for me to be pushing it.  I just didn’t have it today.  I did manage to complete 3.5 miles and I’m considering that the victory today.  I have an average pace of 13:18 (which is about a minute slower than my current overall average), so I was slow.    So my question is this….  Was my body just sluggish today or did I take the random “early morning tightness aches and pains” and make a comment that then turned into a self fulfilled prophecy?  No matter, I ran and that’s what matters!

I’ll kill it on Thursday which is my next scheduled run day.  Up on the exercise docket next?   Zumba tonight. 

Tomorrow is a riding day.  Not any ride….a road bike ride tomorrow (can’t conquer it if I’m not out there putting the miles on my bike and my body)  and if I can talk Todd into it, a ride on the canal tomorrow also (I’m good with pulling out my Trek….it probably feels unloved!

Rolling onward!

Back to the grind!  Yes, it's Monday which means the weekend is over.  I'm already counting down until the next one!!!

I didn't let my busy weekend keep me from exercise.  I knocked out 4 miles of running on Saturday morning and 5 miles of walking on Sunday morning.  This morning I rolled out of bed early and hopped onto my bike.  I was about halfway through my ride when I realized that my bottle cages were empty.  Yup, I left my water bottle on the kitchen table.  Oops!  

No fears.  It was early and not stinking hot yet!  (I had plenty of options should I have needed water...the studio, a coworkers house, etc etc etc) The ride wasn't as painfully awful as some of my earlier rides have been and my arms don't ache like they have in the past!!! Progress!!!  Hip hip hurray!!!!

After returning home I had a productive morning.  I prepped and made dinner for tonight (Todd will have to pop it in the oven at the set time), cleaned up the kitchen, finished the wedding pics , burned the disk to mail out and packed my gym bag.  I showered and actually also got bills paid and mailed and the books updated for the business.  It's amazing to me how I'm always just a busy bee of productivity after an early morning run or ride!  Crazy I tell ya!!

Tonight is Zumba.  My clothes are packed and ready!  Tomorrow morning will be a run and evening will be Zumba.    Bring it on!!!   

On the food front...

I tried a horned rimmed melon today.  I'm part of a weight loss/healthy habits challenge and this week our mini challenge was to try something you had never tried before.   I can safely say that I won't be eating another horned melon any time soon. (My manager is in the same challenge....she tried it with me...neither of us liked it!)I found the taste bland and the little mucus'y pods disgusting!  But hey, I tried it!!!

Meanwhile I'm pondering a mud run.   Not a tough mudder, but similar.  Hmmm.  (Seriously, I must be absolutely insane...I've gone bonkers....this is not the MaryFran that is familiar!)

Last but not least, I maintained my weight this last week.  It's a miracle!!!

Busy busy busy

I've been busy, but holding on to my healthy lifestyle.   Some weeks will be more difficult, but I'm determined to nail those days and weeks too. (at least to the best of my ability!)  This is life at it's greatest.  I may have eaten less fruits and veggies than my normal truckload a day.  I may have actually eaten french fries and gotten something at a delightful NY bakery.  I may have even bought a piece of cake to eat for breakfast the next morning.  I'm still on track.  I did what I needed to to allow for those things either via cutting back elsewhere or amping up my exercise.  That's all I'm going to say about it.....it's LIFE and I'm living it!   So I will leave you with some fun pictures showing you what's kept me from my normal hum drum life the last few days.

My friend and  I waiting for her doctors appointment (NYC--generally speaking) on Thursday.

The doctor was running behind and we got a little crazy.  That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it!

 

 

 

Mirrored Ceiling in the elevator, it begged for a picture!

Eh, that standing up picture was boring...it was MUCH better laying down in the elevator!

I freely admit that we ate a bit of food whilst in NYC and surrounding areas!

Friday had me back in Hagerstown enjoying a bike race with my niece and nephews.

A jog in Hagerstown early Saturday morning, it was fun to run through a town versus the country side that I normally run.

  

'twas inspiring

Inspiration.  Me?  Really?    I’m humbled.  I’m near tears.  I’m honored.  I’m just trying to be me, in the healthiest and fittest fashion that is possible.  Yet numerous times recently, I’ve been humbled by someone’s words citing me as their inspiration.   I have had a gal at zumba who is larger tell me that she watches me because if I can do it, she can too.  I have had my 18 year old coworker (more on him later in this post) express his interest to run again after watching me.  Seriously?  I’ve sparked you to start running again?  I just got an email from a gal that I used to talk to quite regularly.  We were in a weight loss challenge years ago.  She and I have been friends on face book for years.  (in fact I think she is the one that got me to sign up about 7 or so years ago…even though I barely used facebook for the first year or two I was a member), so we have never really lost touch, we just don’t really communicate.  Anyway, I got an email from her today.  Basically just saying “You running is amazing and inspiring.  How did you start.”   I didn’t set out to be an inspiration.  I’m just a gal that is out there pressing myself to be better each and every day (or maybe ‘most days’….I have a few bobbles). As I said, I’m humbled. Will it change how I act and what I do everyday?  No.  I am in competition with myself and each day I will strive to win that competition, regardless of anything else!

 

This morning I had the pleasure (pain sometimes takes on the form of pleasure as discussed yesterday) to run with a co-worker.  I was tickled to have someone to run with.  WEEE

 

We met up at 8AM and set off.  Immediately my heart rate jack rabbited up, way up.  I didn't feel as if I was going any faster, but my HR was at least 10 beats per minute higher. Since it felt the same to me, I looked to the only difference that I could readily see.  Music.  Normally I run with music in my ears.  Easy enough fix, I turned on my cell phone to Pandora radio and we had some tunes rolling mere moments later.  The music helped me take my mind off of the higher heart rate. We talked a bit as we ran.   I struggled because my HR was just so high.  It was so high that I have to admit, that when I hit the hill that I've run up the last 2 days, I made it halfway and then slowed to a walk.  Ok ok ok, I admit it. that wasn't the first time I walked.  I walked twice during the run this morning.     When we were done, I looked at the stats.  I have been running right about a 12.30 minute mile, average.  Today we ran 11.55 minute average miles.  Thirty seconds doesn't seem like a lot, but let me tell you......it's a BIG difference! (and that 11.55 average includes those two walk breaks!)

 

The person I ran with is young.  He's 18 years old. I've known him about 5 months through work.  He struggles with his weight. He was overweight growing up and a year or two ago his friend was preparing to join the military and wanted to be in shape and thus started running.  My friend lost 40-50 pounds by training with his friend.  When the running stopped, he regained some.  He talked this morning about how he kicks himself for letting his fitness level drop and allowing some of the weight to creep back on.   This young boy this morning was quiet for a bit after sharing how he kicks himself.   Suddenly he said something that made me smile from ear to ear.  He said, "MaryFran, I don't want to sound creepy, but since I've met you, you have totally changed."   I had a feeling I knew what he was talking about.  But I wanted to be sure so I asked what he meant.  Stammering and shyly (remember, I'm old enough to be this boy's mother...in fact his parents ARE my age) he says.  "Your shape and your body have changed, for the better too."    I just looked over and him and grinned and said "Thanks!  It's good to know that my hard work is paying off."     No more was said, but my heart was singing. 

 

That was actually the second compliment that I had received....and it was barely past 8AM.  The first was a message on face book by a person that had apparently driven by while I was returning a book to the library yesterday.  (I guess the third was the email about me being the inspiration).  (Cue the Chicago song, “You’re the inspiration” right about now!)

 

And now that that song is in my head….adios

Pain

“I don’t like to go to class with this new instructor.  I am in pain.  I won’t ever come back to that class!”   I heard this refrain time and time again.  Sometimes it is about running.  Sometimes it was about biking.  Occasionally it was about walking.  People would try something new and when it hurt they would whine about the pain and run away. 

  I sit back and watch people when they talk about exercise and fitness.  It's very interesting, even more so because I've been on both sides of the spectrum.  I've been in the camp that "I can't exercise because it hurts me."   So many people start an exercise regime and then back off because of how they hurt.  They wake up the next morning stiff and it's difficult to move.  They stretch and it aches a bit.  They are sore and yes, tired.  So they run away screaming and crying that exercise is not for them.  Some just run away from that particular exercise.  "I can't run because it hurts."  Or "I can't go to zumba because my knees ache."  They run away.  Yes, they are excuses (which I've talked about extensively;  here and here just to name two more recent posts!) And yes, they are valid excuses, these people REALLY do hurt.  I'm not disputing that.  Exercise hurts, plain and simple.  If you are doing it right and really pushing yourself to improve, it will hurt.  The problem is that we as Americans run from pain like it's the plague.  (I'm not talking like pain from a broken foot, or pain from cancer.  Yes, THAT is pain and that is pain that we SHOULD be afraid of.) 

Somehow it clicked with me a few months back.  I realized that I WILL hurt.   It's not really pain as much as it is discomfort (Although when I've really pushed myself it surely feels like pain...but realistically speaking it is more discomfort.)  It clicked that this discomfort was good.  And for some reason I embraced the pain. I embraced the fact that trying something new was going to hurt.  I embraced the fact that running would hurt some days.  I embraced the fact that I would hurt and on a daily basis.  

Somewhere, somehow in the last 100 years or so we as Americans have been brainwashed retaught the belief that pain is a bad thing.   If it hurts, don't do it.  What kind of mentality is that?   How will you EVER succeed if you don't push yourself past a little discomfort.      Our ancestors were not afraid of pain.  Our forefathers sacrificed a lot to settle and survive in harsh territories.  Our ancestors faced unmanageable pain when they  fought for freedom.  History shows that pain was a very real and very present fact of life.  They didn’t run at the first sign of pain.  If they had, we would not be free.   Their families wouldn’t have food.  Our world would not have evolved into what it is today.  

So where did we go wrong?  I have no clue and it’s not really important.   The important thing is to recognize this tendency to flee from pain.   Real and true pain is something that we should be on the guard for.  However, we need to recognize that what we perceive as pain is really progress.

Like I said, I’ve begun to embrace pain.  The beauty of pain is this……by ignoring the aches and pains that pushing my body brings, I have been able to see myself progress further than I EVER thought was possible.   

So how HAVE I learned to push myself past this pain.  The best example is a bike ride I had the other week.  I wanted to quit.  Ohhh, I wanted to quit so bad.  I had a mental conversation with myself.  “Was I dying?”   The answer was no.  “Were my legs in danger of falling off of my body?”   The answer was no.  “So what’s the issue?”   And the answer?  I guess there is no issue!  I pushed through it.  I admit that I was sore and achy.  But that ride gave me a sense of accomplishment that filled me with confidence and self satisfaction.  That ride ALSO helped me gain progress in my long term bike riding goals.  It was a win win.  If I had quit I may not have LOST, but I certainly wouldn’t have won!   I want to WIN!

Amazed!

 This morning I did something that I've been saying that I was going to do.  I actually went out onto our screened in porch and scrubbed down our weight machine.  I didn't stop there.  I went out and actually lifted a bit...working on my upper body today.    My plan is three times a week to put at least 20 minutes of upper body strength training into the books.  Ohh I also did sit ups on my stability ball!   Not that I want to add anything more to my exercise routine, but I NEED to!

I lost weight this week. Another 1.5 pounds bites the dust!  Yay!!!  218.8 is the figure.  It's dropping...that number too will soon be history!

I continue to push myself....I like the unexpected amazement at what my body can REALLY do when asked!  It truly is amazing.  I may ache.  I may be tired....but I'm happy with the level of fitness that my creaky old body has been able to achieve.  Who knows what the future holds (I still haven't thrown out that half marathon idea).

Meanwhile, my plan is to run tomorrow morning and zumba in the evening.  Wednesday morning I will be running.  I was planning on riding, but my coworker wants to run with me.  YIPPEE  someone to run with!  That sounds better than awesome! So I am running.  I will also be doing my weights that morning.  The current plan (in my mind at least) is to ride on Wednesday evening (versus zumba).   Thursday will be my day of rest this week as I will be doing a long day trip to the NYC area with a friend that has a doctors appointment and needs company in the car.  I may get some walking in (maybe while she's at her appointment) but overall it's going to be my rest day.  Friday I'm walking with Sherry.  Saturday I've already talked to my mom and dad and I will still be able to run on Saturday even though I'll be in Hagerstown.  Sunday I'll walk with Sherry and ride!  I've got my plan and I'm good!

This is poor (not so pretty and a bit overweight with a tiny pin head) Winnifred (Winny). She is trying to read the book Born to Run.  I think she would benefit from a little running, poor little fat cat!

Facing my Nemesis

I'm baaaaaack!   This past week has been terrible.  I didn't eat totally out of control.  I didn't go totally offline in my exercise  However, it wasn't a stellar week.  I scraped by.  I'm not saying that my just barely scraping week was a good thing, but maybe I needed it. 

This morning I woke up at 6 and drug myself out of bed.  I got a nice run in.  It wasn't overly fast and it wasn't overly long but I faced down my nemesis!   You see, when I run on the battlefield I usually plan my run so that I am not running up too many hills.  I will run down them but I have avoided them like the plague.  Today I purposely searched out those hills and hit them full steam ahead going UP.   On the one hill I have to admit that my breathing went all catawompus and crazy...but I got to the top and I did not stop and I didn't not walk.  I kept going and decided to see if my breathing would regulate on it's own.  Guess what?  It did and pretty quickly!  :-)

I got back to my car and I pulled out my breakfast  I enjoyed my picnic lunch while I waited for Sherry to arrive.  I had just barely finished eating and she rolled up.  We walked and actually pushed our walk a mile longer and boy, I think we covered every possible conversation!  :-)

Lo and behold, always be prepared....you never know who you may run into whilst out exercising!!!!!!!!

So after my exercise, I showered and Todd and I headed down to Harper's Ferry.  We walked around for a bit, ate some lunch and had fun.  We headed home and did some work around here, mowing, picking strawberries and peas (of which I had to shell, blanch and freeze) and all sorts of stuff.   I prepared 5 lunches for my work week and did a bunch of other stuff around here.  It was a busy active day!

Part Deux

Well, if this post isn't a repeat of a few days ago when I wrote the post titled derailment then I don't know what is. In that post I wrote about the two days in a row that I had plans to be active in the evening and both times my plans got shot into the water when my partner in crime backed off with various excuses (valid or invalid).   I wrote about it and hoped that my post would give me strength to hold strong the next time it happened.  Ohhh how I wish that writing a post fixed problems and kept them from happening again.  But oh, that is not the case.  I had plans to walk on Thursday night.  I knew it was calling for rain, but we had talked about that and it was a go (there are such things as umbrellas, rain jackets and towels for when we go back inside).  I was set.  I was good with that plan.  But round about 5 or so, the plans got cancelled....because of the rain.  Disappointment flowed through me.  I'm OK with my friend's decision, she has every right to change her mind about walking in the rain.   Just like Todd had every right to not play tennis with me.  The problem is that when I'm geared up for one thing and the plans get blown out of the water, I'm thrown into a tailspin.   The tailspin results in me just skipping the workout.  In one case it was a second workout for the day so it was OK. But, in two of the situations the workout that was cancelled  was my only planned workout for the day.  That is bad.    I have to figure out how to guard against this and figure out how I can push myself to workout even if the original plans get blown into bits.  

So I was at home and in the kitchen getting dinner ready last night.  I was minutes away from dishing up the food when Todd walked into the kitchen.  He grabbed the bag of chips (actually Potato Straws).   He ate one or two and then pushed one into my mouth.  OK OK OK, he didn't hog tie me and shove it down my gullet.  I willingly opened my mouth and took it in....I willingly took the second one also.    His words when I looked at him questioningly after that second bite of snack?    "I have to fatten you up."  I didn't even know what to say to that one but it stopped me dead in my tracks.  I didn't eat another bite!


 This repeated situation that I have faced this week has made me look at myself.  I exercise by myself most of the time.  I don't mind it.  It gives me time to think. It gives me time to pray.  It gives me time to reflect.  But seriously, I don't need so many stinkin' hours by myself.  So I get so excited when I can do something (IE tennis the other night that was ultimately cancelled) with someone.  Furthermore, I get so excited to ride my bike with Todd.  I've come to the conclusion.  It's NOT because I'm doing it with him.  It's because he and I usually travel and go to a different path (places we don't get every week..and sometimes totally new for us).  It's not because my craving to be with someone is satisfied.  He listens to his ipod the whole time, so I'm still alone.  BOOOOORING!  OH well, I'll still ride with him because it gets me someplace new and out of the mundane.

So I woke up this morning just feeling down.  The crazy part?  I think that if I were to exercise I would feel better.  Sadly, that's not in the cards for me today....I work early today and then have to skedaddle to a wedding....won't be home until late I pondered the gym on my way home from the wedding, but while they are open 24 hours Monday through Friday, they close on Friday nights...grrr)

Crisis averted

I read a post this morning by Tim. (sorry, I haven't figured out how to put in links on the blogger app on my cell phone....so timothology.blogspot.com) In this post he wrote about binges.  I agreed with him whole heartedly when I said that my binges are much more rare and that when I have them they are not as 'bad' as they used to be, relatively speaking at least. (I binge on less caloric rich foods and usually not as much).   So imagine my surprise when just a few short hours later I found myself in the kitchen BINGING.

I had planned out my food for the day.  I was ok with what I had planned, all was right in my world.  It came time for lunch and I went to the kitchen to eat.  I ate part of what I had planned and then saw the bread.  I WANTED bread.  I mentally calculated and figured that I could 'afford' a single slice of butter bread.  I made it and ate it.  I opened the fridge to get out the stuff for the rest of my lunch.  And then I saw the jelly.  Now I have jelly in my fridge pretty much all the time.  Usually it is raspberry jam but every once in a while I open a jar of strawberry jam.  Strawberry jelly is a treat.  I usually only make one or two batches of strawberry but make batch after batch of raspberry.   Strawberry jelly/jam.  YUM.  I couldn't get it out of my mind (granted I really didn't try to much).  I made another slice of butter bread and added some strawberry jelly.  Ohhh it was SCRUMPTIOUS!   I was eating and I KNEW I was going to have more.  I wanted it.  I literally thought about it in my head.  I was ready to throw in the towel for the day over some more jelly bread!   I wanted it that bad.  Ohhh I tried to justify it by saying that I did burn 3500 calories yesterday (yeah yeah yeah, that was yesterday and thus doesn't count for today....but in the midst of a binge, any justification works!)   Something propelled me to wash the dishes before I made my next jelly sandwich.  I stood at the sink washing dishes and I litearlly said "I don't care....I'll take a gain this week because by golly I want that jelly sandwich!"   But then something happened.  I thought about all the hard work I've put in.  I thought about all the sweat.  I thought about all the mornings when I wake up so stiff that I just want to goan and moan (ha ha ha, oh wait, I DO moan and groan).  I thought about how far I've come and I knew that I didn't want to do it.  Furthermore, I realized that the reason that I was ready to throw up my hands with a binge was that I just really did not want to eat what I had planned.  I knew that if I was going to stop the binge that the only thing that would help me was to find something that would satisfy me, inside and out.  I opened the fridge and just happened to notice that I had a bit of lettuce and salad fixings left.  Peace settled over me and I was fine.  I made my salad.  I ate my salad and I'm sufficiently full and satisfied.   
  Crisis averted.

So I was honest.  I immediately went onto my food journal and deleted the offending foods and put in the salad and the bread, butter and jelly that I ate (thank heavens I only had two slices of bread).  I'm only 100 calories over for my day (including dinner).  I caught the binge in time.  I reigned it in.  I binged, but I won in the long run!

And yes...that moaning and groaning....yeah, it happened this morning.   4 plus hours of exercise threw my body into an achy mess!  I'm good now and I'm set to walk (in the rain...neither rain sleet snow or whatever will keep us from our walks.  ha ha ha....ok, so sometimes it does) after work with Sherry.   

My other big project.  I have been saying for quite some time that I need to work on  my upper body strength.  Todd and I have a weight machine on our screened in porch (we got it free a year or so ago....a guy that lives near my work was cleaning out his garage to be able to bring another corvette to his house...yeah, he's got three here now...but owns something like 5 of them....OLD ones and new ones....I drool over the 57!...anyway...he was getting rid of it....for free.  We took it!).  SOOOOO I'm going to go out and clean it up (it's dusty and dirty from disuse) and start using it!  Hold me to it!

LOVED IT!

It was a busy day.  I was so excited for it to hit.  This was my four hour work day, so i was free by noon.  I made plans.  I was excited!

I woke up early and laid out the different outfits I would need throughout the day all in a row on the bed.  I knew that there was a very good chance that time could be tight and that by the time I got home at the end of the day that I wouldn't want to have to dig around looking for clothes.  What outfits were laid out?

Work........bicycling......zumba......clothes to sleep in.

I got off work and headed home.  Todd had picked up lunch and we ate that.  I caught up on the dishes and we headed out.  We decided to ride on the Western Maryland Rail Trail today.  It was fun.  I took my road bike again.  I figure to strip down the pain levels...so nice and flat, another great chance to get used to the differences of my road bike.  My arms still took a beating but it's getting better.

On the bike ride I wiped out.  I saw something I wanted to stop and see (I wanted to read a wayside...a bit about the history of that particular spot). I slammed on the breaks.  I got my one foot out of the clip but the rush stop had thrown my balance off and I hopped across the path in a desperate attempt to remain upright.  Duh, I was still clipped in on the left foot.  In that moment I KNEW what was happening, but I just couldn't get my foot free!  Down I went.  My brother had told me to wear gloves all the time, for the padding, for the grip on the bike and to protect my hands.   I have to say.....I was thankful that I had the gloves on.  My hands landed on the pavement and there was no ill effect.  I was fine.  No injuries whatsoever.   I picked myself back up and grinned back at Todd who was standing there with a dumbstruck look on his face.  He quickly realized that I was ok and then proceeded to tell me that he wished he'd have caught that on video.....I have to say...too bad, it would have been a great addition to this blog!

We got to the car and headed home. We had to make  quick stop at a store, but I was home in plenty of time.  I quickly changed my clothes and with only a few moments of rest I headed back out.  Why?  Tonight was a zumbathon to raise money for a breast cancer organization.  2.5 hours of zumba!  What fun! 

Now I'm home and I will be the first to admit...I'm TIRED!    But you know what...I SHOULD be tired.  4 hours of exercise is quite a bit of activity!  That's not including the normal stuff like walking through a store, house work, etc etc etc!

I will stay away from the scales tomorrow.  It was such a crazy day with excess exercise, excess water, etc etc etc.  I don't want to see it.  I will wait until it regulates! 

What a FUN FUN FUN day!

Derailment

I had grand plans.  I ran yesterday morning and since Todd had an unexpected cancelation combined with no Zumba I had plans to either go for a bike ride or play tennis.  I talked to Todd and he wasn't jumping up and down with joy, but he seemed on board.   The day progressed and just from his responses I got 'the feeling'.  What is the feeling?  The feeling that it wasn't going to happen.  Round about 5PM I got the text.  He was feeling sick and wasn't going to be able to participate and by the way can we do dinner at 8 so I can finish my stiff at the studio.  

I'm going to break this down into two parts. Him and me.

Him.   I'm not saying that he didn't feel horrible...who am I to judge something like that.  It certsinly sedmed as if ge was not feeling great.  I am just saying that I had a feeling beforehand.  Probably his texts informing me of every sprinkle that fell from the sky and his updates on the possibility of rain forewarned me. Whatever, I had a feeling. Anyway,  His sicknesses come on when it's my plans...he can still do his stuff (working at the studio from 7Am to 8pm yesterday while 'sick' and he had no clients yesterday)and is usually not sick on days and events of his choosing.  It just gets old....real or conjured up, it gets old.

The real problem was with me.  I could have gone out on my bike.  I could have gone to the gym.  (No way dinner would have been at 8..but i could have gone!) I could have pulled out an exercise DVD.  I could have even pulled out the Xbox kinnect.  I could have done something!   I could have said that 8 was not going to work for dinner, that 8 didn't give me the time I needed to complete my tasks.  I could have changed the dinner plans to try to accommodate the requested dinner time.  I could have done so much differently.  However I let his 'sickness' derail my plans.  Is it the end of the world?  No.  I still exercised yesterday. Even if I hadn't, it's not the end of the world.  But I need to learn to stand up and take control of MY life and not allow ruined plans to affect the decisions I need to make in my healthy lifestyle.

When did that happen!

It's the beginning of the month...so a few things happened.......

1.  I took my measurements.  Once again for this month I saw a reduction of one inch in every measurement on my torso.  My arm and leg measurements stayed the same.  I'm great with that!  :-)

2.  Well, this isn't the beginning of the month specific but it goes in with this information.  I weighed myself for my official weigh in and I'm down 1.4 from last week.  That means that I recouped my one pound vacation weight gain and had an extra point four to spare!  This brings my numbers to....  Overall loss 95.9  from my highest and that is 32.4 pounds since January! 

3.  Picture time! Progress report at it's finest.  And that sparked a conversation with my husband...but I'll get there after I share the progress...and give you a reminder of where I've been and what I'm doing.

So this morning I was in the bathroom getting ready for my run.  I don't normally wear form fitting clothes.  It is a kick back of being so overweight that you are trying to hide your excess pounds (yeah, futile effort, but we all try it when we are overweight).  I do have a couple workout outfits that are a bit more form fitting and I wear them on occasion, but I typically end up in a simple tee shirt for my workouts.  I have scaled down...I'm not still wearing the HUGE tee shirts to work out, but they are still not form fitting.  So anyway.  This morning I put on my typical picture outfit for my run....kill two birds with one stone ya know.  My typically self absorbed husband looks over at me and says, "Holy Crap, when did that happen, your getting really curvy???  And How?"  I just looked at him incredulously.  Seriously?   I've been focused on pretty much one thing the last 5-6 months.  Anyone that has talked to me knows this!   Furthermore, I leave the house at least once mostly twice a day to workout...I return home covered in sweat...he hears me groaning when my muscles are tight and stiff from a good workout.  But yet he's asking me how??   ha ha ha  Finally I answered.  "Bike riding, running, zumba....amongst other things.  That's why I'm always begging you to go biking with me or to go play tennis!  When....lots of hours the last few months!"     Even as I shake my head at his delayed notice of the progression, I am smiling because it was finally obvious enough that even my self absorbed husband saw it!  My hard work is paying off, it IS becoming evident in my shape!

I read lots of blogs, today I do believe ill be reading through this one at work.   http://www.dailydoseofdelsignore.com/?m=1

Washington and Old Dominion and a few challenges

Well then.    Today we woke up and threw our bikes on the top of the car and we were off.   The plan was to go to the Washington and Old Dominion Rail Trail and ride. The reasoning was two fold.  First and foremost, I wanted to get out and ride.  It was as plain and simple as that.   I wanted a ride to be my main exercise for the day.  The second reason was that the rail trail would give me the perfect chance and path to get out on my Lite Speed.  (If we would have gone on the canal I would have taken my Trek.)  My thoughts were that a rail trail was relatively flat (with gradual grades) and that would eliminate the leg fatigue from the constantly rolling hills of my area while I worked to get used to my road bike.   I would be riding with my husband and we wouldn't be riding like two bats out of hell.  It was the perfect chance to get some miles on my Lite Speed....because I know that the only way to get past the rough patch of switching to a road bike is to add up the miles on the bike.

I kept my itty bitty toes moving.  When the first signs of numbness in my toes AND the first signs of aching in my left foot started I wiggled and moved my toes around.  That seemed to work well.  All I know is that my foot didn't ache so bad that I wanted to cry!

My butt...well it got sore but it's 'hardening up'.  :-)

The biggest issue I had today....the upper body...the continuing saga.  My back was fine (which was surprising because my lower back has been giving me grief the last few days).  My hands weren't too bad.  My arms......It's not the elbows...it's the inch or so right above the elbow. (go figure).   I experimented with different ways to sit the bike.  It was slightly sore while on the bike...but right now a few hours later is when I feel it.  Stretching my arms straight is a bit achy.  Not really painful, just an achy muscle feel.  It's all good it will get better.

One more ride toward mastering this bike!

Sooooooo the Washington and Old Dominion Rail Trail.......it was a really nice rail trail.  The trail was very heavily used today.   There were a lot of what appeared to be serious bikers on the trail (or maybe it was just bikers that have a plethora of money to buy nice bikes...ha ha ha).   We realized how spoiled we have become on the Western Maryland Rail Trail.  The WMRT is in the western, less populated portion of Maryland.  On Monday we went up 10 miles on the WMRT before hopping on the canal and riding back to our car.....we did cross roads...but back roads that are more 'lanes' than anything.  I have never seen a car on any of them in fact I barely even slow down for them, you can see that there are no cars and you just barrel onward.    The Washington and Old Dominion Rail Trail had a bunch of roads that we had to cross.  BUSY roads.....one road actually had a cross walk light.  One section of the trail was particularly bad with like 5 roads to cross in a 1/2 mile section.  But overall it wasn't that bad.

We will DEFINITELY be going back to do more of the W&ODRT  as soon as possible!

June has rolled around.  In the month of May I burned 31,000 calories.  I exercised 40 hours (and very little during my vacation so it could have been MUCH higher).  I'm setting goals challenges for the month of June!  Some are weight related.  Some are not.....but weight and non-weight related things all go hand in hand.  So without further ado June's challenges!

1.  Burn 40,000 calories 
2.  Write......at least 1k words 5 days a week.  More than 20K words.
3.  Lose weight each week
4.  Continue to track each and every day
5.  60 Plus ounces of water each and every day
6.  Master the road bike
7.   Knock 1 minute off my average pace in running.  (right now I'm at 12:34 minute mile for my average pace)  11.34 is my goal.