Learning from past history

I'm going back and reading through all my blog entries. In some ways it's interesting and cool to see how far I've come. In other ways I'm amazed at how much I still struggle in some areas. In some cases, things that I seemingly conquered back a year or more ago with this weight loss struggle has reared its ugly head again. Well, that only goes to show me that I will need to be on gaurd for the rest of my life if I want to keep this weight off! That makes me think of something that I read online here the other day. They were talking about motivation and what motivates them. The whole premise was 'How badly do you want it?'. When it comes down to it you could be saying something like , I don't want to exercise.....and in response...."how badly do i want it? And if I'm asking myself, a piece of fruit or a bag of chips? The answer should always be "How badly do I want it" It goes both ways....How badly do I want that piece of fruit. But more importantly...How badly to I want to lose the weight. There will be sacrifices along this journey....but if I want it badly...and that outweighs the desire to eat or not exercise or whatever...then it should be a simple choice.

Had a super yummy lunch today. Yeah, that sound really trite and almost like I'm trying to talk myself into it. HOwever, when I finished my lunch, I literally said, "wow...that was really good". I had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, corn, and steamed brocolli. Yeah, it may not sound like a good combination to some...but it was delish (as Rachel Ray would say........and why in the world did I even think of that...since I'm not a big Rachel Ray fan...haa haa haa). Tonight for dinner we are having something called a meal...not sure what to call it....but it has ground turkey, pasta, sourcream, zuchinni, green peppers, salsa....it's also super yummy! (And Todd says that it reheats REALLY well..so the leftovers will be eaten by him for lunch a day or so after we have this meal). I'll probably serve it with Peas or green beans and I think our fruit will be grapes (gotta finish them off before they go soft on me). Yeah, green beans would be a better choice...but I'm hungry for peas. :-)

Ok....The last weigh in I went to I showed a gain of like 2 pounds. Then we were on our mini vacation...and I gained 5 pounds. That is so uncool. I had vowed that I would be ok as long as I stayed within 5 pounds of my lowest. Well, I freaked out....because I went over my self imposed 5 pounds. So...I've worked hard and all but .4 of that gain (BOTH gains) is gone. I'm point four pounds away from my lowest ever weight. I'm ecstatic with that! Tickled pink. Dancing a jig. Oh well, you get the point! That puts me at 56 weight watchers pounds gone....with a grand total of 116 pounds GONE. What a difference that makes in life! In how I feel, act,...all aspects of my life.

We had an interesting call last night. It was the c&o canal association. They are having a big hike nearby (on the c&o canal obviously). Last year at this hike apparently they had one hiker that was out and they had to send out the park police to go figure out why the person hadn't come off the towpath yet. So this year they were looking for a different alternative to try not have to utilze the park police. So they asked if Todd and I could do a sweep on our bikes of the area that everyone is to be hiking. It sounds like fun. I'm only hoping for good weather. It's a week from Tomorrow...on Nov. 3. It could conceivably be cold. And if today's weather is any indication...quite damp! That would be miserable. Todd and I agreed to do it regardless.....we can always go home, take a nice hot shower and feel better. :-) I'm looking foward to the ride. :-)

Good Day

Today was a good day. I had a really good workout this morning!!!!!! Worked out for an hour! I ate wisely all day....for dinner I made Szechuan Chicken and Rice. Yummy! (ok, those of you who know me are probably laughing thinking about me eating an Asian inspired dish..when I'm not a big 'Asian' food lover...but it really is a yummy recipe.....if you want..just ask and I'll share) I then rode the exercise bike for about 30 minutes tonight. The second small workout was not becuase I overate or anything. It's because I just wanted to.

Work went well...fast and relatively smooth. It was a short day for me...so that was nice. :-) I got to spend a good deal of time talking to Janet during the down time...which is always a plus for me. No deep conversations today...but fun non-the-less.

TOdd found a picture of me that he is going to print out. I'd wager a guess that it's me at probably close to my highest weight. NOt something I really WANT to remember but something that I NEED to remember! So, I need to print it out and put it with my other 'fat' pictures. (this one that I found is the biggest...by far!)

A day off

Mom and dad came to dinner tonight. We had a nice time together. I so enjoy spending time with my parents. Dad brought his laptop and worked a while. In the meantime, mom and I must have been getting tired, because we sat in the living room enjoying each others company...but occaisionally laughing like hyena's at the simplest thing. :-)

I had meatloaf, mashed potatoes, corn and sauerkraut (and baked beans for dad). Not exactly the healthiest options out there. BUt managed and eaten accordingly. I've got just enough leftovers of the veggies that I'll be able to have a little smorgasboard of veggies tomorrow. Just about 1/2 cup of everything. Oh yes, and for dessert...home canned pears. YUMMY! I did step aerobics this morning. Felt good.

Todd and I got some stuff done today. We took another load of stuff to the mission. We are really making a dent in getting this stuff out of the trailer. We went to the board of zoning and planning and talked to them about the options for our land. We got some REALLY good news. It has been rezoned.....the old zoning was very restrictive....whereas the new zoning is no restrictions! We also got a few things from Lowes....a new screen door, wood for a repair...and electric line to fix the dryer electrical line (dryer repair guy...you better not be trying to get Lowes out of replacing our dryer that is still under warranty!!!)

Oh well...I think I'm going to retire to the bedroom and read for a bit. Todd has to get up early to work....and I don't have to be at work until 2PM.....woo hooo....I can exercise in the morning (that is not sarcasm...I prefer to exercise in the morning)!!!

The Birthday Boy

This morning Todd and I woke up and as we laid in bed cuddling he asked me what time I had to be at work. I answered Noon. He then started to talk about his 'birthday morning' plans. I was a bit paniced.....I didn't want to eat out. However, he simply wanted to go to town...get some iced tea (Arizona in the can.....found at CVS), go to JoAnn Fabrics to get something for a studio project, and go to Big Lots. Cool. So that is what we did. I did add in one more stop to the morning activities. We swung by the rescue mission to drop off another car load of stuff from the trailer. Todd was very quiet after we emptied the car at the rescue mission. I know what he is going through....after all, each load that we take to donate is his mother and grandmothers lives packed into boxes...and being given away. I know how that feels.....I went through it after my grandmothers death...and here he is doing it for his grandmother and his mother after having lost them both within a years span. As hard as it was, I know that he is satisfied with what he's done...because not only will someone be able to be clothed or decorate their house or get gifts for someone that they can afford....but the money that they make is also going to a good cause. We came home and I had a super yummy salad....dang that salad dressing that I've been making (Grandma Near's Salad dressing) is soooo good! Todd has requested Taco's for dinner. So I pulled out a pack of ground turkey for that. What the birthday boy wants...the birthday boy gets I guess. :-)

My weight did come down a LITTLE today. But after eating chinese...oh yes and the birthday boys brownie with ice cream (fat free of course...Bryers, fat free double churned, now that stuff is GOOD) that we had when we got home, (It's gone...so I won't be tempted today) I'm not surprised.

I still can't find that pesky missing tea! Todd asked again if I'd found it. My last hope is that it somehow fell out of my purse and got pushed under the seat of the car (how, when the bag was INSIDE my purse....closed up...but I'll look).

I'm still full of long ago memories that our time away in Lancaster and at the Rennfest brought to the surface. Makes one Melancholy for times and people from the past. Wow...I just walked back to my computer and when it rains it pours memories. While I was away, I was up front talking to the girls that I work with. Somehow the subject came up on mice.....and I told them the story about how I had mice lunge at me and the time my friend was coming over...and there was a dead mouse stuck to the bottom of the sofa (unbeknownst to me...although I did have an inkling that there was a dead mouse SOMEWHERE). I told them how my friend thought it was my baking that smelled so badly. Oh my......

Hmmm...tis about 3PM...should I have my mid-afternoon snack of grapes now?

Learning as I go

I made an interesting discovery about myself tonight. We were eating out at our favorite Chinese restaurant....the portions are HUGE. AND of course my fav meal is not the healthiest option. Well, when I ordered I asked for a to-go box to be brought immediately. They didn't...so when the food was delievered I asked again..and he brought it right away. I put half of my food in the box and closed it up. Out of sight...maybe not out of mind...but away and I didn't eat it. Well, I admit that I was sitting there going...I could still eat it....and I said something to myself that really made sense. I said to myself, "Yes, this meal is heavenly...but there is no reason to overeat it....because if I wanted to, I could come back next week, or tomorrow, or heck in an hour and get the same thing" It really nailed me. Yes, when I was away this past weekend, I did eat some stuff that I normally wouldn't have....however I had made that decision because it was 'special' things that I don't or can't get often! Shoefly pie....I can only get the kind I like in Lancaster (I don't like the ones that the local bakery makes) So that was a healthy decision...but chinese at the local place...I can get that any old time. Does any of that make sense????





Found a reallly cool quote...it's actually from one of the contestants on the Biggest Loser from this season. It is in reference to questions that are asked her about if she ever got to eat 'good' food. " Well first let me say ALL the food is good. Once you detox your body of all the chips, soda, french fries, cup cakes, you will enjoy fish and chicken and vegtables. Give "good" food a chance. I promise it won't let you down."

The water is a huge thing. I ate healthy yesterday...which I do know contributed. However, I think the biggest factor was the water. I actually drank a healthy amount of water. AND...3 of the 5 pounds that I gained while we were gone is gone! Yes, three pounds.....in one day. So, that just proves that I was retaining some mad water weight.

Todd has been battling a sore shoulder/neck for the last few days. So I'm praying for him to be healed.

I haven't exercised today...however I plan on getting out on my bike after I get off work. I should be getting off work at about 3PM today.

This weight loss thing is still a topic of conversation that is very near and dear to my heart. I truely am blessed with an interest in this subject. I don't proclaim to be an expert....but I'm very interested in the subject.

Wow.....I was just busy for a bit...ok, like an hour (ok ok ok, I was talking with co-workers for part of that time) and in that hour, I've developed a sinus pressure/headache. Dang...that is NOT fun!

Nothing seems Equal

Woah doggie! It's sickening how fast weight comes on! ANd equally sickening to think about how long it takes to eradicate that same amount of weight. It is definitely NOT equal! AT all! I will say that my 4-5 pound gain (yikes, that hurts to actually write it out...but yes, the scales are showing me about 4.5 pounds up after our little trip!!!). But, admittedly, I allowed myself to dehydrate while we were travelling. I didn't even drink HALF....ok, even a fourth of what I normally drink! So I'm sure that a good portion of that gain is water retention! I enjoyed my time away...and the food I ate, the weight gain was very worth it for the pleasure received during the trip.

Meanwhile, I'm back and raring to get back to eating healthy! I spent some time in the kitchen today cleaning, cutting, slicing and dicing all my fruits and veggies that I bought. So I'm ready for the week. :-) Then I had a extra yummy salad. I've been making a fabulous dressing. It's reminicent of a french dressing...but is very similar to a vinagrette. Go figure. All I know is that this stuff is good enough to go and simply eat a spoonful of it...without the salad! :-)

I think I'm going crazy. We bought some really cool tea at the REnn Fest at one of the shops. I SAW the lady put them in the bag. I immediately tied the bag shut and put it into my backpack. I opened it up today and only one tea was there. Go figure? Poor Todd.

We were talking at the rennfest. Yesterday was only the second time that Todd and I have visited the Renn fest by ourselves out of the eight total times we have visited the rennfest since we've been a couple. It was enjoyable to be with my beloved though. :-) However, it did bring back lots of memories of these other visits and those friends. Bittersweet memories in some cases. Ahhh...water from the "caves of aquafina"...and Anne of Boelyn blatantly checking out the men. :-)

This morning I got myself up and out of bed and exercised. After that, we started talking and decided to go hiking in the woods. We went over to our property. We filled our water jugs, I loaded the old car with more of the stuff that we are donating to the rescue mission (will this cleaning out process EVER be over) and then we took off through the woods. We walked our property line first....and then mosied back through the other property (which we have permission to hike one by the owner). It was very rough going as the paths haven't been attended to in at least 10-15 years. We had our backpacks on and we picked up stones when we got to the river. I picked up small stones to use to build a fireplace in my dollhouse that I am redoing (the dollhouse that my grandfather built for me back in the 70's....the log cabin) and Todd picked up big smooth ones to build a sound diffuser for the studio...sounds interesting. We loaded our backpacks.....nice and heavy and started back up the hill and over the terrain. It was a pretty good workout!!!

Todd's Birthday Trip

Well, our trip is over. We did what we had planned to do. We went to Lancaster and we also went to the Maryland Rennassaince Festival. We had a great time! In Lancaster we were able to go to all the places that we love to visit. I did splurge and eat a piece of Shoefly Pie. It was soooooo heavenly! Utterly orgasmic it tasted so dang good. :-) It is truely amazing how good food tastes when you are not constantly shovelling it down your throat! Today we went to the Rennfest. It was great. The weather was wonderful! We usually like to go to the renn fest in cooler weather, and at first I was dissapointed that it was so warm...but it turned out to be very nice. Lots of walking..and it was so crowded that at some of the stages, it was standing room only....and we stood. :-)

Food wise, I would call our trip a bit of a binge. Not that I ate all that horribly...but I made more unhealthy choices. I got those 'bad' foods that I sometimes like out of my system. Yes, I had french fries for the first time in MONTHS...probably years! This weekend...a very small order of them! My shoefly pie....oh yes, and one day we stopped at Bob Evens for breakfast (it was on the way to where we were going) and I had the cinnamon cream pancakes....heavenly! But, healthy food is back! I enjoyed my 'binge' (if I can call it that)...but my body is really craving the healthy stuff. :-)

Two steps forward I take .......

I just want to start singing Paula Abdul....Two steps forward, I take two steps back....... Yes, that's how I feel. I had an incredible loss last week...and a 2 pound gain this week! I know that I'm directly responsible for some of it. However, I will say that the ick is right around the corner and that causes water retention..and thereby weight gain. But I'll be brutally honest and admit that I caused some of the weight gain this week! While i didn't eat too terribly, I didn't eat too well. AND my exercise just kinda went right down the toilet. ZILCH! I'd like to be able to say without a shadow of a doubt that I'm focused and ready to face this week and conquer this battle...but Todd and I have some time off of work and we are goign to be doign a bit of travelling. OUCH. That doesn't bode well for eating....or exercising! I wasn't able to get us a hotel with an indoor pool (and the outdoor pool isn't goign to help much now) but at least it does have a fitness center. I just need to be religious and use it!!!

Saw a quote that I liked the other day. "Weight loss is not a destination....it's a journey" How true!

What's up with my motivation and or body! This week I've struggled again! ArrgghH!

I'm trying to drink my water today. I dind't drink halfways near enough water yesterday and I know I was shy on Saturday also. That's not cool. I've done pretty good...but I can tell that I hadn't drank enough the last few days.....because I've been in the bathroom constantly! Oh well!

This morning my weight was showing me up some. But, with the water thing...and some other things that I've got moving in the right direction, I may be able to squeak out a maintain! Oh I hope I hope I hope!

LOSS

Lost 4.6 pounds last night at my weigh in (ok, technically I lost them throughout this past week...but offically weighed in last night). That means I recouped my 2 pound gain from last week...plus some! I'm pretty tickled with it! I am not allowing myself to relax though. Because once I let down my guard, I'll stop losing! I so need to get to goal...at least my weight watchers goal (the highest weight I can be and maintain to be lifetime....in order to stop paying). This morning, the scales showed me down even further..which is totally awesome.

It seemed like for so long I was just sitting dead in the water. Now it seems as if my body is actually willing to lose the weight (if I do my part...before I could do my part and the weight wasn't dropping). SO I'm planning on running with it!

Like I feared, the scales were up a bit today. Not in panic mode..but I did count my points religiously. I also got up and did a short workout this morning.....notice I said short. It was only 20 minutes. So, here I am tonight...riding the exercise bike. Although, I've discovered that riding the bike and playing on the computer at the same time really makes the time fly by! It's awesome. If I'm sitting watching tv then I'm very cognizant of the fact. Reading is a bit better...but I'm still cognizant of how much time is passing.....each page turn is a bit more time passing! I know roughly how many pages I need to read to 'pass the time". Sooooo to my delight...even though I have the computer clock, the time just flies by without me really being aware!

So, I'm really workking on it today...I'm deterined to get this weight off!

Todd mentioned starting a family sometime soon. I want to get this weight off first though!!!!!!!

Tired by happy

I'm way too tired to write right now. Yesterday was a LONG day...started at 6AM...ended at 2AM this morning.....

BUT, as for today my weight is my all time low 185.8. I splurged a little today...so I"m hoping that my weight stays the same!

The addiction thing is so true. On monday night, Todd and I went out to eat dinner. We were at a buffet/salad bar. I am usually able to stay away from the dessert bar, or at least manage it with healthy choices. Well, after my week I was just plain and simple disgusted. My weight jumped up...and wouldn't go back down...no matter what I did! So Monday night rolls around and my mentality was that, "heck, if the scales are gonna show an increase, I may as well at least eat something that I'll enjoy at lesat once!" So I hit the dessert bar. I got a small piece of cake! IT was scrumptious! Absolutely delicious! I sat at the table and pondered...and pondered! It was so dang good that I had to head back for me! I got a total of two more pieces. Oh yes, and the pudding, and the icecream! On the way home, todd and I talked about it and I realized that yes, That was totally a sign of addiction. I ate that first piece of cake and it was soooooo good. I finished the cake and that feeling of satisfaction wasn't there any longer. I wanted to feel that again...so I got another piece of cake. And another. BUT, what I realized.....that 'high' only came wiht the first few bites of the cake. I really didn't totally enjoy the second and third pieces of the cake! It was only that initial high that tasted good....yet I strived to get that feeling again and again and again! If that's not an addiction, then what is?

Today I had mom check my blood sugar levels and my blood pressure. Things are all in line! I'm relieved about that!

I was up a bit at my weigh in...but it's all good! We learn from the rough times. Chalk up another lesson learned for me! :-)

Addiction

You know...food is really an addiction. Todd and I were leaving the gym and making our usual comment about how it seems like all of the Gold's Gyms that we go have a McDonald's right near it (next door this morning). Todd was like, "Do you want to go get a breakfast sandwhich" . He was totally joking! I answered of course with a negative. BUt then I commented about how it would taste good....but then I'd feel miserable after eating that junk. I'm totally addicted to the taste of food. We actually talked about how the addiction is the taste.....the high, while the feelings that you get after you eat poorly would be the crash...the let down....the withdrawl. Hmmmm...that really didn't clearly state what we talked about..but heck, at least the general idea is there.

I've been struggling the last few days. I've eaten my flex points...which for me, just doesn't seem to work! ARRGGHHH Why am I 'blessed' with a body that doesn't allow me to eat my flex points if I want to lose?????

Got a nice long bike ride in this morning! It felt really good! That on top of the gym yesterday!

Of course, the scales were up! I think a big part of that is the hot dogs we had last night. I had fat free ones for myself...however sodium city. And I did drink my 64 ounces yesterday...but it was done by the time I got home. I was way too relaxed in the evening. We were laying in bed watching the tv and I was dying of thirst! I finally got up and got a drink and downed 16 ounces in like two minutes. And you know that they say that if you get to the point where you are actually thirsty, it's too late, you are dehyrdated! So I think that's a huge factor in that!

We'll see how it goes tomorrow!

Special Investigative Report on CNN

I've been on top of everything the last few days. It's really neat to see how much better I feel. I've decided to go to a meeting tonight rather than tomorrow. I do know that the scales will probably show me up for a few various reasons. But I'm ok with that. Especially since I know that those reasons will right themselves and all will be ok.

This weekend we stumbled upon a show on CNN...a special investigation report by Sanjay Gupta. It was called Fed Up: America's Killer diet. VERY good show. Some of the points, facts and statistics were quite interesting of note.... (I will put my thoughts and additions in italics.)

1. There are a few doctors/scientists out there that feel that depression can be linked to the foods we eat. Namely the fats that we are eating. They are saying that we need the different kinds of fats in our diet...but in a healthy proportion. In the last so many years (20 or so) the numbers are no longer porportionate...one type of fat has just skyrocketed. The doctors/scientists are saying that this imbalance could be causing the upsurgance of depression. Now, my thoughts on the depression thing. I think that that could seriously be a huge factor. But I also think that the eating habits of America is so out of whack that peoples bodies are screaming. They are not getting enough nutrients, which I think is causing some of these problems. I know that Todd used to hardly ever eat veggies and fruits. He was depressed a good bit of the time. I started not really forcing him to eat fruits and veggies but having them for dinner and simply serving them to him...leaving it up to him if he was goign to eat them. The first thing...it seemed to help eliminate some of the 'down' days. AND two, if I don't have them with a meal he asks where they are, because he misses them.

2. Speaking of fruits and veggies. We all know that the daily recommended amount of fruits and veggies for a person a day is 5 servings. Sadly enough, if every American were to eat their recommended allotment, we wouldn't have enough fruits and veggies in America to meet the demand! Doesn't this just make you want to scream. What is even worse than the fact that we dont' have enough.....in current America we are throwing unused fruits and veggies away at an alarming rate! I'd love to know a statistic on how many Americans are actually eating a healthy amount of fruits and veggies!
Along with this, they also talked about how corn and soybeans are the biggest agriculture item out there, with millions in govement funding going to these farms. Yet this year was the first that they are expanding funding and subsidies to go to farmers of other things such as apples, and other veggies. Yet, the funding is still totally disproportionate! Why are corn and soybeans such a big deal......the oils that they can get from them!

3. They did a study. They told people that they would give them free wings to eat if they filled out a survey. They had two groups at two different tables/areas. One group had the wait staff taking away the bones from the wings as soon as they participants were done. The other group simply piled the picked bones in front of them...and the wait staff didn't remove them. The study was to see if a person ate more if they could actually see the results of how much they ate...versus the person that ate and had the results/bones removed so that they couldn't see how much they had eaten, they only had to rely on their memory and their stomachs. After it was over they counted the bones and weighed them. They found that the people that had the bones removed so that they could not SEE how much they had already eaten ate up to 50% more than the people that had their bones in front of them as a physical reminder of what they had already eaten. They also referred to a test with popcorn at the movies.....testing portion sizes.....and the kicker of that one...the people ate the popcorn like mad......and it was STALE! This doesn't really surprise me....but it was neat to see the results of actual studies.

4. The average kid is eating up to three pounds of sugar a week! Three pounds!

5. They had a near perfect study case of what America's diet is doing to people. They had a kid that grew up in Jamaica. He was thin, fit and a healthy boy when he moved to America with his family. Within 6 months of living in America, he had put on 30 pounds. A trip to the doctors office showed that he had developed high cholesterol, high blood pressure and was borderline type II diabetes. He was roughly 10 or 11 years old. His mother did what needed to be done. She learned about healthy nutrition and how to eat properly and immediately changed the eating habits for her family. The boy has lost 15 pounds and his numbers and health has dropped back out of the danger zone. They asked what was the difference, whey this happened. The kid and his mother talked about how there are so many tempting choices, tempting in taste and packaging. And the tempting choices were so 'easy'. They were the convenience foods. The sweets and everything else. They fell into the average American diet quickly and easily! And the results were swift and fast. 6 months??? And this kids life was turned around and could have been disastrous if left to go. Wow amazing because that is what we are doing to our children day in and day out. Let alone what we are doing to the adults and teens and elderly! 

6. They had a cook on...who also happened to be the editor (or some such title) with Cooks Illustrated Magazine (mom's fav!). He talked about how Americans have forgotten what it is to actually cook from scratch. In in forgetting about cooking from scratch, our taste buds have gone catawumpus and we have learned to prefer the taste of prepackaged, unnatural foods. He stated that the foods solely from scratch have a more subtle taste...which is not what the average person prefers now. How sad is that? I'm proud to announce that Todd and i actually prefer the meals from scratch! But it is correct, the taste is phenomenally different. 

7. Twinkies. They used twinkies as an example. They talked about how years and years ago, twinkies were made with the good old stand by ingredients, eggs, flour, sugar, milk. Then they read the ingredients of the current twinkie. Very few things that were recognizable. Some items were changed for cost (high fructose corn syrup) but many were changed for preservative factors! I admit to being guilty of still buying some prepackaged items. I know it and I'm slowly trying to change my lifestyle to eradicate them from my life. But this is something that I've lived with for a while. I started noticing that the homemade things last for only days..while the prepackaged (full of preservatives) foods last for weeks! Bread! If you make your own, it lasts only 2-3 days before it starts tasting stale yet I can buy bread in the store and it will last a week or two at my house (and who knows when it was actually baked even before I got it!) Jellies. Homemade jelly goes bad in the fridge within a month or so. Yet good old smuckers (and don't get me wrong...I grew up on smuckers and LOVED it) will last for at least 6 months before there is any problem! I can go on and on. This is my own personal soapbox!

8. Changing the contents of food and selling healthier options. Sounds great! They have reported that the public clamors for it....yet refuses to buy it when the companies do it. I do probably have to agree. However I do know that these 100 cal packs and such items are seemingly flying off the shelves. Could there be a turn, a shift in America's thinking????

So.....all this was quite interesting. We tivo'd it and I may watch it again...the information was just phenomenal! Once again, while I was watching, I felt it again. I have had a calling. I've felt it a few times here and there. Last night was another strong tugging. I really do feel as if my next calling in life is to somehow help others with their obesity problems...or nutrition problems if I want to be nice about how I put it. I know I've been saying things like, "Oh I want to get to my goal weight before I do something" and things like that. However, I need to be looking into options NOW!

Food for thought

Nope..I haven't given up! Even though I didn't write yesterday! Still simply frustrated with myself. I'll be the first to admit that I will eat something that I really don't want...and then I want to slap myself on the forehead saying "What in the world was I thinking???" It brings to the forefront....why do i eat stuff that I don't particularly like or want? I should be able to take a bite of something and say...'hmm...not good, its not worth it." But instead, I'll take a bite of something and say instead....'hmmm not the greatest...not good...but I'm going to shovel it all in anyway'. Why is that? I enjoy food....I enjoy GOOD food. So why do I eat something that is substandard?

Frustrated!

I'm frustrated today. The scales actually showed me up even higher than yesterday! What the heck???? I mean, I ate good yesterday! And that's what I get? The only thing I can think of....I finished my water early..and for some reason stopped drinking instead of continuing through out the evening. I know part of it was that I sat down to dinner and realized that I forgot to get a glass of water. I was just plain too darn lazy to get up and get it! Then the same thing at the computer later. I just didn't feel like getting up to go get it! So that probably hurt me!

I did however exercise for 40 minutes yesterday. I went with the step aerobics. Today I did about 45-50 minutes. Kicked my butt today. I really pushed it hard!

I've changed my mind three times on what I'm going to have for lunch. This is terrible! I've whited out my lunch plans three times now in my journal! I've got to make up my mind!!!!!!! Ok...I think I settled on what I'm going to have!!!!!

Cookies??????

Made cookies last night. For me, it's not really the finished cookie that is the tempting thing. For me, it's the cookie dough! Yeah, I know! Why in the world did I make cookies then? I made them because we haven't heard from Todd's uncle since shortly after his grandmothers death. We have a few things that we've found that is his and went to send them to him. Walnut/Icebox cookies are his favorite....so I thought I would make a batch to send along as a goodwill gesture. I had way too much cookie dough last night! :-)

I did have one cookie this morning with my breakfast (just to make sure they tasted ok). I'm done with them now! (It's actually easier to say that...because I'm not a big fan of walnuts!)

Weight is still up! TOM finally arrived so hopefully the weight will right itself this time! Crazy...I don't usually suffer from PMS, but this month was a killer!

I've got my eating plan laid out for today. It should be a pretty easy one to stick with! Hopefully the munchie stage is totally past! :-) Planning on doing step aerobics today. That's always fun. Of course it's nice outside...maybe I should go for a jog on the battlefield instead. Hmmmmm....decisions decisions decisions.

Success

Ok, maybe not a scaled success...but a success nonetheless. I ate lunch today. It was quite yummy, I had a salad and some applesauce. When I was done I was in the kitchen putting my dishes in the dishwasher and getting my grapes (midafternoon snack) ready to go to work. I was trying to decide in my head which 100 cal pack that I was going to eat. I hadn't planned on eating a 100 cal pack, however I WANTED one! I was sure I was still hungry! I don't know what caused me to do it, but I stepped back from the situation and really thought about how I felt at that moment and I decided that I wasn't really hungry. I decided that if I wanted one later, then that would be ok...but at that time, I didn't really need one! HUGE victory!

Now I'm at work......cramps have hit! MISERABLE! I rarely get cramps so I'm not happy! (like I'd be any happier if I get them regularly either!) HOpefully that isn't one of the things that is changing in my body. I usually only get cramps every couple months....luckily not every month. BUT, in the last few months, my cycle has been all whacked out and changing. ( A few months ago my cycle shortened....it's clockwork still...but just 4 days shorter! SHORTER...why couldn't it have gone longer...further apart!)

I was a bad bad girl

Wow...don't know what happened yesterday. I was super hungry...just couldn't seem to get enough food! I overate...thankfully, I overate eating healthy stuff. I didn't indulge in any unhealthy items at least. The moment of truth this morning.....the scales only showed me up .2 pounds from yesterday. That's not too bad. Bad enough, considering they are already up. HOwever....I know why thy are up (water retention...TOM) so I'm not to concerned.

I've already laid out my plans for eating today. I'm going to go with a really low day, point wise, for eating. Not starvation low...but just low. I've been eating on the high end and I feel like I need to do this to get myself back on track. When I say I've been eating on the high end....I've been eating my flex points....and I simply don't lose if I eat my flex! That's the unfortunate break of my body type and chemistry. boo hooo!

Why do we continue to eat something even though we really don't like it? What is wrong with my brain that I keep shovelling the food in, even though I'm not overly impressed! Huge food for thought! Because it seems as if I could conquer that, I'd be halfway to totally conquering this weight battle!

My aching back!

Wow...yesterday I was a workhorse! Todd and I went to two fleamarkets (one indoor and one outdoor), out to lunch, to the orchard and then home. After we got home, he went to work...and so did I. I mowed for about 2 hours. Then I began the applesauce operation! 8 hours , 2 bushels and 89 jars of applesauce later I was done. I fell into bed exhausted! I woke up this morning and my back is soooooo sore! OUCH!

The weight this week hasn't been overly kind. TOM and I've not been drinking my water. Those two things combined will kill! I'm about two pounds up...which is about average for TOM! It will come off! I also haven't been exactly diligent with my eating! That's a huge issue I know! I found out on Friday that I won't be able to go to my meeting this week...and I'll admit that since then, I've been even more relaxed and lots less diligent with my eating. It truely is interesting how much that accounatability keeps me 'honest"

Well, all my activity from yesterday didn't show up on my scales this morning. I'm not too overly upset because I know that TOM is right around the corner! :-) So, after getting off the scales, I mosied to the exercise bike and rode. I only went for 20 minutes because of time restrictions. I hope to ride some more tonight.

I will say though, that my legs are really sore today. Not sure if it's because I really pushed it on the elliptical yesterday, or if it's becuase the weights got to me (although I only did a small amount of lower body strength training) or if it is because I was canning then for hours...standing. Of if it was my bike riding this morning. Who knows, but I'm feeling some twinges in my legs. It's all good......I guess I can be kinda sadistic to like that little muscle twinge. Reminds me that I'm doing something good for my body!

We are going out with friends for dinner. Cracker Barrell. I'm not sure what I'm going to get...but this time, I'm goign to remember to account for the biscuits before I order. Last week when I went, I accounted for the food I ordered, and then when Todd asked for the biscuits and cornbread, I floundered and ate! :-) Still lost last week, so all is good. :-) Hmmm...what should I have! I'm currently sitting here at work eating my afternoon snack of grapes.

Lost 4.6 officially this past week! :-)

Today was super busy...but it was so much activity that I'm happy. We worked out at the gym, picked in the garden, ran some errends, and then I canned produce for a couple hours! Whew....am I tired!

Scales went down another .6 pounds today! It's just amazing. I struggled for so long....with nothing. Then all of a sudden it's just dropping off me like flies!

morning weigh in

My news. Are you ready. The scales this morning showed 186.8! Did you read that right. 1 8 6 . 8 ! ! ! ! ! ! ! One hundred eighty six point eight pounds! Oh I hope I hope I hope that I can manage to hold onto that weight and be somewhere in that vacinity for my weigh in tonight!

Belly Fat

Ok....so like many, my belly is my main place that I am storing fat (energy...haa haa haa). And yes, the belly has gotten much smaller during this journey...but sometimes I despair that it will ever be gone! (Wouldn't that be a freaky site....a thin person with this huge blob of fat in the front!) Anyway...so I decided to mosey around and see what I can find. So far my findings have not surprised me.

1. From http://www.thefactsaboutfitness.com/news/waist.htm

It won't surprise you to learn that the best way to lose abdominal fat is to eat right and exercise regularly. And there's a growing body of research showing that the fastest way to burn off the fat from your belly is with a combination of weight-training and aerobic exercise.
Some evidence for this comes from a six-month study of thirty obese women [6]. They were assigned to one of three groups: a control group, an aerobic exercise group and a combined exercise group.
The aerobic group did one hour of cardiovascular exercise (60-70% maximum heart rate) six days a week. The combined exercise program involved weight training (3 days a week, Monday, Wednesday, Friday) and aerobic exercise (3 days a week, Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday).
Here's what the combined exercise program looked like:
Monday — Weight training (60 minutes)
Tuesday — Aerobic exercise (60 minutes)
Wednesday — Weight training (60 minutes)
Thursday — Aerobic exercise (60 minutes)
Friday — Weight training (60 minutes)
Saturday — Aerobic exercise (60 minutes)
Sunday — Off
The combined exercise group lost almost three times more abdominal subcutaneous fat and 13% more visceral fat than the aerobic-only group.


2. taken from http://www.tranquillizer.co.uk/articles/How-To-Lose-Belly-Fat.html
How to Lose Belly Fat - Rule One - AlcoholDecrease that alcohol consumption. I am sure that most people know that alcohol can cause weight gain, but I am certain that they do not know the degree of impact that alcohol can cause. Excess alcohol consumption can really give you that belly. Have you seen people that are slim all over but have a belly sticking out? Well, that is effect of excess alcohol consumption. One gram of alcohol, which is can be calculated as one ml of alcohol contains 7 calories. Even thought the amount of calories is lesser than of fat, alcohol calories are completely useless. Alcohol does not contain any nutrients at all. So, the entire amount of calories consumed through alcohol will be stored as fat! Alcohol is also in the form of liquid. That means, you can really consume a lot at one sitting! I am not saying that you should avoid alcohol totally, just go for moderation. Do not drink everyday and limit your self to one glass of wine or one bottle of beer.
How to Lose Belly Fat - Rule Two - Late Night SnacksTry not to have late night snacks. Late night snacks are a favorite because we usually snack while we watch a late night movie, have supper with friends to have chitchat and sometimes, if we work late, we also tend to eat very late at night. The only problem with late night snacking is that there is not much activity done after that. People go straight to bed right after the late night meal because they are tired. So, this will cause high sugar levels in the blood stream and no energy spent after that. The excess sugar will just turn into fat and be stored under the skin. Try to consume you last meal around 2-3 hours before your bedtime. If you are hungry during late nights, consume a small meal instead which just enough to fill your stomach.
How to Lose Belly Fat - Rule Three - CarbohydratesSlow down on the carbohydrates and bulk up your vegetables instead. Consuming too much carbohydrate can bump up your insulin level which can slow down your metabolism. Your body cannot metabolize too much carbohydrate at once because the body doesn’t need so much energy at once. The excess sugar will just turn into body fat.
Combine your meals with a good combination of protein, carbohydrate and vegetables. Your source of protein should be in a size of a deck of cards; the carbohydrates in a size of your palm and the major bulk of your meals should come from vegetables.
How to Lose Belly Fat - Rule Four - Junk FoodThrow out the junk food and forget about the junk food! You are what you eat. If you eat a lot of junk with a lot of high saturated fats, then you will end up like fat with a junk heart! Do not store junk food like cookies, chips, sweets and other similar products in your house. If you do not have these bad foods lying around, you will not think about it and after sometime, you will break the bad eating habits.
How to Lose Belly Fat - Rule Five - ExerciseExercise, exercise, exercise! Get your lazy but off the couch, put down the beer and head on to the gym. A fitness center, gym or a health club is for everyone. Do not feel shy going into these places. If you do not know how to get started, hire a personal trainer to kick off your new healthy lifestyle. If you want to exercise by yourself, get some books on weight loss and exercise to help you start off the right track. I highly recommend the “ Metabolic Surge” weight loss exercise program because it covers the fundamentals of exercise. Workout with weights at least 2 times per week and do your cardio at least 3 times a week. Each weight session is around 45 minutes and each cardio session is around 30 mins. So, actually, you can just workout 3 times a week. 2 days you will combine weights and cardio and on one day you just do your cardio. Its actually very little time spent on your health. Everybody have time, it’s just that you have to make the time and put your health as your priority.


3. found on http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19234440/
Certain foods can help you lose belly fatFalse. Contrary to what some diet books and articles preach, certain foods cannot magically melt away the fat off your belly (or any other part of your body). Where fat tends to settle is typically all in your genetics.
The good news is when you eat an appropriate amount of calories for weight loss (meaning less then you burn), you’ll eventually lose weight “all over” your body — including your personal problem areas (like your belly, if that’s where you have it). And if you add regular exercise while watching what you eat, you’ll burn even more calories and tone, tighten and strengthen the muscles underneath the fat, so when it comes off, you’ll look even leaner.

After a good weigh in, especially one that follows a jump downward on the scale (like yesterdays weigh in!), I get nervous. I tend to let myself obsess about my weight. I worry about the next day, not wanting to be disappointed if the numbers are higher! Yesterday though, I ate carefully...ok carefully isn't a good word. Yesterday I ate wisely, so I knew that I should be ok. Even so, this morning it was with fear and trepidation that I stepped onto the scales. 188.2! Not a big drop, but a drop (.2). Looks to me like that weigh may be sticking around! I've already laid out my plans on what to eat today. Tomorrow is the official weigh in! Crossing my fingers on that!

I'm hoping to get out and finish my mowing this afternoon. That will give me some extra activity. That and I need to dead head our flower garden. I will then finish drying the heads on my drying racks and we will use the seeds from those heads for our garden next year. We are trying to get a ton of seeds this year. Mainly because next year we will be planting two flower gardens, one at the studio and one on Mondell Road. So we are trying to save as many seeds as possible! Plus, I'll be making dinner tonight, of course. :-)

Yesterday had another comment on my weight. It was someone that I've seen, but they usually see me in my scrungy clothes (ie my old tee shirts that are too big, and baggy shorts.....workout clothes and/or garden/work clothes...) So this person actually saw me right after we left church, and I was wearing that clothes that actually fit...and with a more tailored fit.

Speaking of a more tailored fit....it does take some getting used to. For such a long time I wore more loose fitting, free flowing clothes. Trying to hide my weight. So now I'm wearing more form fitting shirts. It really is a different feel!

Shopping, slicing and dicing

Got our walk in!!!! We did an hour. It was hotter than blue blazes, but at least we were moving! :-) It is always a treat to be with mom!

I also did the grocery shopping. I got home at 7PM. We ate a light meal (most of it pre-prepared stuff....stuff I made last night/this morning) and then I got to work in the kitchen. I've found that not only is healthy food more expensive (for the most part) but it is also more time consuming! Soooo my usual routine is to get home from shopping and clean, cut, fix, prepare (whatever) whatever I can. So...I sliced and chopped all the fixin's for the salad bag (I put together a big ziploc bag...inside is little ziploc bags of cut up carrots, green peppers, cucumbers, onion...etc etc etc...everything for a salad), I capped and sliced my strawberries, cut up our cantalope, made croutons (last weeks left over bread...seasoned and baked..yum!), peeled and cooked apples and then made applesauce....hmmm Oh yes, washed the grapes. Hmmmm... SO I spend about 1.5 hours AFTER just getting things fixed up! But, this way I know it is there ready for me. It's now extra convienent!

Bought a new book put out by Weight Watchers today. Not sure it it's going to be at all beneficial to me...but heck, it's worth the read! :-)

The scales showed me down to 188.4! This week, I'm determined to hold onto that low weight for my weekly weigh in! That would be more than awesome! Especially since last week was showing me up! Who knows though with the difference in scales! :-) (although, if this coming up week is one where the scales seem to match up...which is usually, it's only on the rare occaision that they don't...like last week. Anyway, if this coming up week show the scales matching up, AND I can hold onto this lower weight, then it will show me at a 4 pound loss! I'm not holding my breath though. I'm just going to stay focused and do my best! )

Mowed yesterday for 2 hours! I have about two hours more to go (or half of the yard). I'm planning on doing that tomorrow. Today after church I'm going in to mom and dad's. Then I'll do my grocery shopping. I'm hoping that mom and I can at least go for a walk or something this afternoon!!

GREAT GREAT GREAT!

I just read something......a little motivational sentence that is absolutely GREAT!

Think of yourself as a toy train. All toy trains derail now & then. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off & get back on track.

and

Have you hit a brick wall? Aim higher & jump over it.

Meanwhile, lunch is over. I had a salad (spinach leaves, carrots, green peppers, celery, onions) topped with lite dressing (2 points) and homemade croutons (1 slice of ww bread 0---5 sprays of liquid butter 0----seasoning such as molly mcbutter...0....then toast them in the oven for a short amount of time until crisp...YUMMY), homemade applesauce (made with splenda...yummy) and a 100 cal pack (actually it was the weight watchers honey mustard pretzels...nice and salty). I feel satisfied. Not hungry...pleasantly satisfied! :-) I have my grapes for my mid-afternoon snack left sitting here on my desk. (oh yeah...I've had a few of the Eclipse sugar free mints....onions on the salad ya know)

Perserverance

Last night after I wrote my entry, I went into the living room and laid on the couch, feeling sorry for myself. I couldn't put a finger on what was wrong. And I still don't know for sure. However, Todd came over to me and asked me what was wrong. Without thinking, I blurted out, "I'm hungry and I want to eat." I know for a fact that I wasn't really hungry. It was a total emotional eating moment. (nope, I didn't succumb to the pressure either!) But then I went on and babbled about how much I miss this food and that food...and this restaurant and that restaurant. It was almost as if I was mourning the loss of a friend. Yes, I know that I can eat any of these foods. However, I can't eat them in the abundance and regularity that I used to eat these old "friends". After my crying jag, I laid on the couch for a while longer....still unmotivated and not wanting to get off my butt and exercise. BUT, I perservered. No, I didn't do the most energetic and butt kicking workout. BUT, I did get up and do Dance Dance Revolution! Did it make me feel better. Not really. :-) But I was very proud that I did it anyway!

This morning we got up early and went walking on the battlefield. It really is a gorgeous place to walk. Especially in the morning when it is not inundated with tourists...and when the dew is still on the crops in the field...and the sun is just peeking out! It was nice to be out. BUT, the really cool thing about our walk. We swung around and we were cutting through the visitor center parking lot. We ran into someone that I waited on when I worked at the deli. One of his first comments was, "Look at you, Skinny!" Makes one feel good. Yeah, my family compliments me, and I totally appreciate it. However, it really means something coming from someone that you barely know!

I'm resisting temptation. Everyone here at work ordered out.... I'm sticking with my salad and fruit! :-) Todd and I are thinking of going out tonight though. So that made the decision a bit easier...becuase I don't want to blow my points only to eat my lunch in the breakroom by myself. I'd rather enjoy it with my husband.

Wow....I'm reading an article about getting the best exercise/walking shoe. As for the fitting of the shoes. Some of it seemed like common sense. But who would have thought about buying your shoes (getting fitted for them) at the end of the day.

Fitting guidelines for walking shoesHere are some general guidelines to consider when getting fitted for a new pair of walking shoes.
Have the salesperson take dimensions of both feet since there may be differences. Take measurements while standing, as feet expand when bearing weight. Base new shoe size on these measurements, not on previous shoe size.
Take foot measurements at the end of the day, since feet tend to swell throughout the course of the day.
Try on and lace up both walking shoes (left and right) while wearing regular socks. Stand up and walk around to make sure the fit is correct.
Never buy walking shoes that immediately feel too tight. Though they will go through a break-in period, if walking shoes initially feel very tight, they are too small.

Feeling Blah!

I got home from work and I just feel plain and simple blah. I feel like I want to (going to) cry. I just feel on edge and yucky! I don't like it at all. SOOOO where does that leave me with exercise????? I haven't done it yet if that's any answer. I did however put on my exercise clothes when I got home....but I'm thinking it may be a no go tonight! That sucks! I soo want to eradicate my little gain!

I get this free mag All You in the mail...got the September 28,2007 issue in the mail today. They had a little blurb that's worth re-writing onto here.
Don't Rely on diet soda to lose weight :Low calorie soft drinks alone to not help shed pounds.
If you are working to cut calories, diet soda is probably n ot your friend. The more diet soda you drink, the more likely you are to gain weight, researchers have discovered. For reasons that are still unclear, the risk of becoming obese increased by 41 percent for each can of diet soda a person drank a day.

I just thought that was interesting. Don't know how in the world that study can be true. THe only thing that I can come up with is that people that drink diet tend to be overweight or know that they are prone to being overweight to begin with!

OH well.......still feeling blah.......

plan a, plan b...oh heck, just hoping it will work out!

Yesterday all my plans for exercise kept getting changed. However, I did perservere and exercise for 30 minutes yesterday evening. I had grand plans. I was going to get up early this morning and exercise before I got ready for work (they called me and switched me from 10AM to instead come in at 7:45 AM) I had the alarm set when I went to sleep. However, I woke up an hour before the alarm was set to go off to go to the bathroom...and on the way back through to bed...well, changed the time to my 'normal' wake up time. Early is just so foreign to me. I stumble around the house getting ready for work as it is when I have to go in at 7:45! I SHOULD get off at 4. SO, I'm planning on doing something active tonight.

Weight dropped a bit today. Not as much as I'd like...but a bit! Oh why oh why did I let myself eat that. It's amazing. 10 minutes of yumminess (probably not even that) and bam...a week or two getting rid of the weight! ISn't that utterly amazing??? I need to start reminding myself of how long it takes to get rid of the weight when I want to eat that bread when we go out to restaurants!

I've come to the conclusion. I've been trying to hold out on bras....because they are so darn expensive! (or can be....at least for big girls) BUt, I can't do it anymore....they are saggy, they offer NO support...they are not at all flattering my body! It's time. I'm going to have to break down and do it! :-) I went through my bra drawer and cleared out the ones that are massively huge on me. I also found a few that I had bought when I guess I was in denial about how big I really was. SO I do have one or two that actually fits me. YEp...exciting stuff!

Drum roll!

Ok, so it wasn't a good weigh in. At least I'm being positive! I really don't know much about what happened. I weighed in at home like I normally do....and I showed myself at the exact same weight as I was one week previously...so it should have showed a maintain. HOWEVER.....I weigh in and low and behold 1.8 pounds UP??? WHAT THE HECK!

So, I'm back to working it and trying to do my best!

Not sure about tonight. Saturday night and Sunday kinda blew my weight out of the water...ok, not THAT much. But it basically eradicated my weeks losses! Not because I ate so overly much either...but mainly because I ate CARBS, CARBS and more Carbs! Each meal was chock full of carbs! I'm hoping for a maintain tonight!

I was thinking though. My energy levels are so much higher now. I want to do things...I feel lazy if I'm not moving. Yesterday I canned pears all day. This morning, I went out and thouroughly cleaned out both cars.....shop vac, amor all, the whole works! I'm starting to think about getting lunch now!

Day with mom and dad!

We didn't eat Mexican...which is somewhat of a relief. But I did end up eating too much food. The bread at the places we ate at is what killed me! Oh well.....lesson learned.

I did however wake up super early this morning and DID exercise before we left with mom and dad!!!! Yay for me!

Lowest yet!

Ok, I know...I will be having that titel a lot in the future! Today I was my lowest weight yet! 198.4!!! I ate really good for breakfast and lunch. I did eat a bit much for dinner...but since I ate so good the rest of the day, I should be ok! Now my next challenge is tomorrow. We are going to spend the day with mom and dad....eating out..ALL Day! I think Mexican is in our future...which I don't know if I can eat well at a mexican place! Eii yii yiii!

My story

Ok, let me tell you a little story! This morning I went to the bathroom. I did my business and like normal I stripped down, and jumped on the scales. I looked down in fear and trepidation. What I saw made me jump off (throw back on my clothes..which is actually my normal routine....because then I head to eat breakfast and exercise) and run across the hallway. I got to the door...and turned the handle to open the door.....the knob turned...so me, being in the state I was in....started to run through the door by pushing on it as soon as I felt the knob turn. Well....let me tell you...the door knob had turned...but the door hadn't unlatched! My face flew up against the door....my glasses got knocked off.....I was smashed up there flatter than a pancake! What a spectacle I made! It HURT! SO I finally get the door open and Todd comes running. I didn't know what to tell him first...that I hurt myself running into the door (he heard the crash) or the fact that for the first time since I was like a young teenager (YOUNG) that I saw these two numbers as my first numbers....18! I was 189.8!!!!! WOOO HOOOOO!!!! Nope...that's the home scales..so it's not official. BUT how exciting to actually see the numbers!!!

Oh come on!

The frustration and disappointment is the absolute worst thing about weight loss....it is so demoralizing! I'm struggling with that today. We rode for more than 2 hours yesterday...yet the scales are showing me up a half of a pound! What's up with that???? So I"m really fighting to keep myself from throwing my hands up in the air and saying "screw this all" and running to the kitchen to make a big batch of cookies...and eating all the dough before they are even made! Actually today it's the exercise. I'm still committed to eating right...but I'm fighting exercise. ARRRGGHHH! My body REALLY doesn't want to move into the 180's!!!!!
Last night we (the bank people and I) Volunteered to help out at the school for parent night. It was interesting. On one hand, I missed the teaching profession. But on the other hand, I saw the out of control kids...that were not being discliplined by their parents...and I as like....wow, I'm so glad that I don't teach anymore! So it was an interesting night for me! Torn between two feelings and emotions.

I got up and had breakfast...and then I went ahead and cut up and cleaned some fruit that I bought yesterday. Interesting. I used to buy fruit and end up throwing it away a week later. Now, I buy it on Sunday...and it's gone by Wednesday! Gone as in eaten...NOT thrown away. It's getting harder and harder to keep fruit in the house! :-) But I also made a pasta salad......finished loading the dishwasher and started that. Oh yeah, and went on an ant hunt..yeah, the came back yesterday! I've seen one or two (that I promptly kill) over the last few weeks...but nothing major. UNTIL TODAY! ARRGGGHHH! And there were some big ones! (ok, yes, I'm trying to delay exercise!...can't we talk longer???????!)

Ride

Todd and I went out and rode our bikes for a couple hours today. I can honestly say that I truely enjoy riding my bike. It is one exercise that I desire to do. I'm not saying that I don't like the other stuff that I do...but that's exercise....bike riding is fun! :-) Felt good to work my muscles for a long period! The shorter rides are nice, but those long rides just really feel liberating! We were up in the Oldtown area of the canal. It is neat to enjoy the difference between the western section of the canal in comparison to our middle section...or even the eastern section. We were so tickled to see a couple deer on the towpath, bunches of turtles, bird....Oh and a blue heron..up close (two actually). We saw lots of evidence of beavers...and we saw their dam. Just a wonderful time out in nature!

Mixed feelings?

I have mixed feelings about my weigh in. I made it to 190.8. That's a loss of 1.4 pounds like I mentioned. Saddened because I didn't make my 180's goal. BUT....tickled because I didn't make my goal ......that means I get to keep that extra point for one more week! (I'll go down a point when I hit the 180's!). Ok, so I'm not tickled...I would have gladly dropped the point..because it means I'm getting closer! But it does bear to thought that you get so tickled because you drop a pound or two...but then you sit back and almost shriek because you lose that extra point! But you know...the program works!
The support of the weight watchers meetings is actually the really incredible part for me! I really miss my cohorts when I don't get to attend! It is important to me for my weight loss!!!

Scales suck!

Scales suck! I so try to not dwell on the scales and what they tell me everyday. Yes, I know...they say not to weigh every day. I'm obsess more if I don't...haa haa haa. Ok, after reading that, it seems like the scales were really 'mean' to me today. Nope....it was a good day on the scales. But I'm still frustrated at how this week has been up and down on the scales...yo-yoing with this same pound! I really do think the humidity is a factor in it all!

Todd and I took a nice walk today. It's my off day from organized exercise, so a walk is a nice refreshing thing to do! After we walked, I came home and organized my desk. I updated the business books and filed some papers and some mail that I feel that I should save, as it gives me permission to get rid of a bike that has been at my house for age...the letter finally responds to numerous requests to pick up the thing. So I feel I should keep it to protect myself once I get rid of the bike as the previous owner is no longer in contact with us.

Speaking of that.....I know I've written a lot about our society and how that affects our weight and the national obesity problem. (we are programmed that social events are centered around food....we are rewarded with food our workplaces, etc etc etc). This bike reminds me that it's not just social. In some cases it's family that helps spur on the problem. This bike is heavy as sin. It is definitely NOT made with the lightweight materials that are available. When the heaviness was mentioned, this friend she said that her dad wanted to buy a heavy sturdy bike since she was a hefty girl. I remember that bothering me at the time...and that was before I started this journey to living healthy! It made me realize how much comments like that can undermine people and in essence make them 'live up to' the expectations. (in that case being a 'big' girl') Simple comments like can damage us just as much as a big mac at mcdonalds (ick...)

Yes, the ick is for a reason. Todd and I chose to cut back on (in essence give up) fast food a couple years ago, even before we started trying to live a healthier life. I can honestly say that I've eaten fast food maybe once or twice in the last few years! There are only a few things that I miss. McDonalds apple pies, Arby's Roast beef, uhhhhmmmm....Yeah, that's all I miss!

I finished mowing yesterday! 5.5 hours of mowing in three days. Ouch. Not so bad if I was on a riding mower and if the heat wouldn't have been so miserably terrible! (at least on Sunday and Monday it wasn't as bad!)

Those lying sack of doo doo scales!

Ok, for some reason, the scales have been yo-yoing this week! It's driving me NUTS! I dont know from one day to the next what the scales will say! I've been good all week....worked out really good. So the scales should be friendly. HOWEVER,......oh heck!

I did stumble upon this webpage that has a cool article...which I'll copy and paste! I've got to remember this!


Why The Scale Lies
by Renee Cloe,ACE Certified Personal Trainer
We’ve been told over an over again that daily weighing is unnecessary, yet many of us can’t resist peeking at that number every morning. If you just can’t bring yourself to toss the scale in the trash, you should definitely familiarize yourself with the factors that influence it’s readings. From water retention to glycogen storage and changes in lean body mass, daily weight fluctuations are normal. They are not indicators of your success or failure. Once you understand how these mechanisms work, you can free yourself from the daily battle with the bathroom scale.
Water makes up about 60% of total body mass. Normal fluctuations in the body’s water content can send scale-watchers into a tailspin if they don’t understand what’s happening. Two factors influencing water retention are water consumption and salt intake. Strange as it sounds, the less water you drink, the more of it your body retains. If you are even slightly dehydrated your body will hang onto it’s water supplies with a vengeance, possibly causing the number on the scale to inch upward. The solution is to drink plenty of water.
Excess salt (sodium) can also play a big role in water retention. A single teaspoon of salt contains over 2,000 mg of sodium. Generally, we should only eat between 1,000 and 3,000 mg of sodium a day, so it’s easy to go overboard. Sodium is a sneaky substance. You would expect it to be most highly concentrated in salty chips, nuts, and crackers. However, a food doesn’t have to taste salty to be loaded with sodium. A half cup of instant pudding actually contains nearly four times as much sodium as an ounce of salted nuts, 460 mg in the pudding versus 123 mg in the nuts. The more highly processed a food is, the more likely it is to have a high sodium content. That’s why, when it comes to eating, it’s wise to stick mainly to the basics: fruits, vegetables, lean meat, beans, and whole grains. Be sure to read the labels on canned foods, boxed mixes, and frozen dinners.
Women may also retain several pounds of water prior to menstruation. This is very common and the weight will likely disappear as quickly as it arrives. Pre-menstrual water-weight gain can be minimized by drinking plenty of water, maintaining an exercise program, and keeping high-sodium processed foods to a minimum.
Another factor that can influence the scale is glycogen. Think of glycogen as a fuel tank full of stored carbohydrate. Some glycogen is stored in the liver and some is stored the muscles themselves. This energy reserve weighs more than a pound and it’s packaged with 3-4 pounds of water when it’s stored. Your glycogen supply will shrink during the day if you fail to take in enough carbohydrates. As the glycogen supply shrinks you will experience a small imperceptible increase in appetite and your body will restore this fuel reserve along with it’s associated water. It’s normal to experience glycogen and water weight shifts of up to 2 pounds per day even with no changes in your calorie intake or activity level. These fluctuations have nothing to do with fat loss, although they can make for some unnecessarily dramatic weigh-ins if you’re prone to obsessing over the number on the scale.
Otherwise rational people also tend to forget about the actual weight of the food they eat. For this reason, it’s wise to weigh yourself first thing in the morning before you’ve had anything to eat or drink. Swallowing a bunch of food before you step on the scale is no different than putting a bunch of rocks in your pocket. The 5 pounds that you gain right after a huge dinner is not fat. It’s the actual weight of everything you’ve had to eat and drink. The added weight of the meal will be gone several hours later when you’ve finished digesting it.
Exercise physiologists tell us that in order to store one pound of fat, you need to eat 3,500 calories more than your body is able to burn. In other words, to actually store the above dinner as 5 pounds of fat, it would have to contain a whopping 17,500 calories. This is not likely, in fact it’s not humanly possible. So when the scale goes up 3 or 4 pounds overnight, rest easy, it’s likely to be water, glycogen, and the weight of your dinner. Keep in mind that the 3,500 calorie rule works in reverse also. In order to lose one pound of fat you need to burn 3,500 calories more than you take in. Generally, it’s only possible to lose 1-2 pounds of fat per week. When you follow a very low calorie diet that causes your weight to drop 10 pounds in 7 days, it’s physically impossible for all of that to be fat. What you’re really losing is water, glycogen, and muscle.
This brings us to the scale’s sneakiest attribute. It doesn’t just weigh fat. It weighs muscle, bone, water, internal organs and all. When you lose "weight," that doesn’t necessarily mean that you’ve lost fat. In fact, the scale has no way of telling you what you’ve lost (or gained). Losing muscle is nothing to celebrate. Muscle is a metabolically active tissue. The more muscle you have the more calories your body burns, even when you’re just sitting around. That’s one reason why a fit, active person is able to eat considerably more food than the dieter who is unwittingly destroying muscle tissue.
Robin Landis, author of "Body Fueling," compares fat and muscles to feathers and gold. One pound of fat is like a big fluffy, lumpy bunch of feathers, and one pound of muscle is small and valuable like a piece of gold. Obviously, you want to lose the dumpy, bulky feathers and keep the sleek beautiful gold. The problem with the scale is that it doesn’t differentiate between the two. It can’t tell you how much of your total body weight is lean tissue and how much is fat. There are several other measuring techniques that can accomplish this, although they vary in convenience, accuracy, and cost. Skin-fold calipers pinch and measure fat folds at various locations on the body, hydrostatic (or underwater) weighing involves exhaling all of the air from your lungs before being lowered into a tank of water, and bioelectrical impedance measures the degree to which your body fat impedes a mild electrical current.
If the thought of being pinched, dunked, or gently zapped just doesn’t appeal to you, don’t worry. The best measurement tool of all turns out to be your very own eyes. How do you look? How do you feel? How do your clothes fit? Are your rings looser? Do your muscles feel firmer? These are the true measurements of success. If you are exercising and eating right, don’t be discouraged by a small gain on the scale. Fluctuations are perfectly normal. Expect them to happen and take them in stride. It’s a matter of mind over scale. (http://www.primusweb.com/fitnesspartner/library/weight/scale.htm)

Exercise, food and hail!

Well, I made if for about an hour yesterday in the heat! IT was darn tootin' hot out there! After an hour of pushing the mower in the early afternoon heat, I started to feel sick. YES, I was drinking lots. Since I have a history of passing out and getting sick from the sun/heat, as soon as I started to feel REALLY hot, I packed it up and came home. I was whipped the rest of the day!

Last night we went to Longhorn. That's getting to be a Saturday evening thing for us. IN the last few months, it seems like we end up there most Saturday evenings. :-) I usually get the soup and salad! Sometimes I get/add a sweet potato or their brandied apples though...they are good also!

I've already worked out this morning! Woo hooo! I may try to go out and mow another hour or so (or if by some miracle it's not so hot, then finish it up....about 3 hours left). But, I heard that it was supposed to rain today.

Speaking of rain...last night we had a storm. HAIL! Yep, it hailed. The pieces of hail were about an inch in diameter. I haven't seen hail in ages! That brought a thought to my mind....wouldn't it be terrible to be out on your bike with no cover...and in a hail storm?????

Salt Attack!

I got on the scales this morning and had a fit....up 1.2 pounds! I didn't eat poorly! I was flippin' out....all down in the dumps. I worked out HARD yesterday...stayed right at my points level and everything. THEN I thought about something...SALT. I had more salt last night then I normally do. So I'm assuming that salt is the culprit! OK, I"m hoping! I did drink more than my alloted water yesterday though....but most of it was before I ate dinner (aka salt city!)

Mom was talking to me the other day (last weekend actually) and we were talking about the fact that I blog. She was almost appalled that I 'journal' online. She was like, "ANYONE can read that" I just laughed and answered, "What do I have to hide". It's the truth....what do I have to hide. Not a thing.

I'm planning on mowing after work today. THat should take about 4 hours....yep, with a push mower. For that reason, I didn't get up and exercise. OK, ok, ok...I'll be honest...I didn't want to wake up early! I'm going to try to do a light workout this evening! :-)

Low numbers are good!

The scales were friendly this morning. However, I was expecting them to be friendly as the 'ick' is on it's way out. (thank heavens). They are showing me back to my lowest ever weight at 190.6 (ok, I only left that weight because of TOM) I'm happy with that, obviously.

I've been watching...and it's interesting....thin people actually eat food differently. Where as I could polish off a piece of cheesecake in one sitting and sit there wishing for more....a thin person has the control to only eat a few bites..enough to feel satisfied. Kinda interesting!

Had another really good workout this morning. Step aerobics....followed by 20 minutes of weights. I got done, took my shower and Todd and I ended up going out for about 45 minutes to an hour for a hike. Felt good. :-)

A few days ago, I decided to really kick up my workouts a notch! I'm so very pleased. Yeah, my abs are so for kicking up the ab section of my workout. BUT overall, it is a great feeling of satisfaction to know that I perservered and did it, and knowing the results that I'll show for it! :-)

I'm hoping to be at my goal by December. That would be about 40 pounds to get to my 'mental' goal of 150. That's 40 pounds in 4 months. Doable? Yeah....BUT, that's not exactly the healthy recommended 2 pounds a week...that's a tad bit more than the recommended weekly weight loss. NOW....my weight watchers goal....for me to get to lifetime is only roughly 30 pounds away. THAT is my realistic goal! :-) But, as I've stated before...putting a time label on this process is a bad thing to do. Slow and steady wins the race in the long run. It's going slow, but I'm learning how to daily adjust and live my life. Tools that I'll need in order to maintain my goal weight! If I did this fast, then I wouldn't have learned all these lessons along the way!

Weigh in

I gained .4 this week. I'm not to overly concerned about it though as TOM arrived right in time for my weigh in! So it was not surprising or shocking at all. I've found that my weight at this point can flucuate up to 2 pounds each month at this time.

On the flip side...I went out with mom and dad today. Tried to order something relatively healthy. Calculated that I used about 12 points. I didn't have time to check my guess work and therefore ate a dinner based on the expenditure of my lunch eating. (Todd and I ate out tonight). Well, came home and looked up the site for Gandolfo's (where we ate lunch). Wow...I only at 8.5 points! WOo hooo! That puts me in a much better position!

Worked our really hard this morning! Did step aerobics and then some strength training. My abs are a bit sore now...but, that's a good feeling. :-)

What a way to ruin my appetite!

Ok, I have no desire at all to eat right now! A cat just decided to jump up on my desk....with a dingleberry flapping in the wind. I had to wipe poor Jodi's butt.....ewww! Poor cat. POOR ME!

I've been doing very good this week! I have been able to curb those food desires and channel them into healthy things! I've done really well.

Now, for the bad news. Well, this morning I got on the scales and the pre-ick bloat/water retention is here! I'm not calling this next weigh in a loss (haa haa haa...that would actually mean it would be a gain!) though! I'm still working just as hard to make it a good week at my official weigh in!

Had a weigh watcher bagel today with some of my homemade flavored cream cheese (yummy...and wooo hooo, healthier than the whipped flavors in the store, which are mainly in the full fat version!). The bagel wasn't too bad....it wasn't quite the same as a Panera Bread Bagel...but then what do you expect for the points! :-)

Breakfast: Weight watcher Bagel with ff cream cheese
Lunch: Salad with lite dressing (lettuce, carrots, onions, green peppers, cucumbers, and homemade croutons...which are like a half of point...!!!! oh yes, and my lite laughing cow cheese!), strawberries and some grapes! YUMMY!
For dinner I am planning on trying a new recipe. It sounds good....I'll have to try it though before I pass judgement!

Plan B

Yes, we had to utilize plan b for our day. Plan A was to go to the western section of the C&O canal and bike for a few hours. Well, I woke up and mosied to the bathroom. On the way there I noticed that it was awful dark outside. When I left the bathroom Todd broke the news to me by showing me the weather map on the internet. It wasn't looking good at all! I bit back my disappointment and we packed our gym bags. Yes, we went to the gym and had a nice workout! I'm not going to lie and say that I'm not bummed out that I didn't get to go for the ride that I was looking forward to all week...but I'm happy that I didn't let it ruin my workout plans!

BUT the biggest victory of day. We went to the Mountain Gate restaurant. I got the buffet, which in itself is pretty risky. :-) However, I was able to do very good! VERY good in fact! I felt satisfied and I didn't overeat at all! The only splurge I had was about two small bites of mac-n-cheese. Oh yummm it tasted so good. And ironically, because I only had the two bites, I appreciated it all that much more! I think before I would get a big pile of it...and the first bite or two would be so wonderful that I would keep eating..until I was so stuffed full..that I no longer enjoyed it as much! I totally ignored the bad desserts and opted for fruit and some fat free pudding instead. Quite tasty! :-)

Last night, went into the icecream shop here in town and I saw the receptionist from my weight watchers meeting. She laughed when she saw me! BUT, I knew I only had points for a kiddie fat free yogurt...so that's what I got. A kiddie. AND even though I really wanted the chocolate...that is not fat free. I didn't have the extra point to ante up for it! I actually did slip up momentarily though. I ordered a small size (which is two scoops.....so I asked for a split of peach and strawberry). BUT right as she started dipping it up, I came back to my senses and switched it back to a kiddie size...strawberry! Does that count as a fuit/vegetable serving??? haa haa haa. Ok, I had already eaten all my fruits and veggies for the day. So the thought didn't even cross my mind until right now! And no...I'm not lacking today either.....I ate a big lettucy salad and lots of veggies/fruit for lunch (all veggies except for the low cal/fat salad dressing, the pudding, and those two bites of mac-n-cheese.....oh and one bite of Todd's roasted turkey) It tell you...I did good!

The scales were REALLY friendly this morning! My lowest yet...EVER!

I'm actually feeling quite good! I'm satisfied with what I'm eating. Satisfied on two counts. One, I'm physically satisfied. I'm not hungry and I feel good when I'm done eating. NUmber two, I'm satisfied with how I'm doing. I did jump on the scales the other day....but as I previously stated, I know why. TOOO many carbs. But the number is dropping. Yes I dread the weeks where I show a gain...and I so don't want a gain...I have had too many of those recently while on this stupic plateau! And now that I've had pretty much a month of losses, I want to keep it that way! Crossing my fingers that TOM doesn't get in the way of the scales!

It's actually amazing. I've changed my eating habits so greatly over the last year or so. But, I've never really experienced massive hunger during this journey. I've never been weak from hungry or just ravanous! It is a true testament that this path that I'm taking is one that can be utilized for life, and not just one that will be there while I lose the weight and no longer! I think if I was hungry all the time, then I would be doing something wrong!

While I haven't been bad. I've watched everything and counted everything. However, I've been eating heavier meals that I should. Way more carbs than I should have. And yes, I know that carbs effect my weight loss efforts! I've also used about one or two flex points each day...which also effects my efforts, becasue I don't lose if I use too many flex points! Go figure. It would have to be me that has that terrible thing! The only good fact!

I woke up this morning and just didn't have the energy to exercise. At 5 my legs just felt funny, heavy and not quite achy...but weird! OH well! Todd said he wants to do DDR with me again tonight. The only problem with that....he only does it for 10 minutes and then he's done....and when he leaves my motivation to continue leaves also! AND I need to do more than 10 minutes...I should be doing 40 minutes at least! Last night I was only able to go 10-15 (ok, ten) minutes past when he quit!!! BAD BAD BAD!

Oh well! I've planned out what I'm eating today..I'm trying to stay well under my points! Because I know that after a few days of eating heavily, a low points day (right now I'm planning on leaving at least 4 points leftover...and I may try to leave more!) will help me eradicate the 1-2 pounds that I'm up since TUESDAY!!!!!

A friend made a comment about being obese, "we eat everything in excess, even stuff we don't really like." How true, how true! I think that is one of the battles that I need to win and train myself to win on a regular basis (if possible). Basically, 'if it's not something that tastes really good, don't eat it!'. I've often laughed and felt like I'm a person that is afraid of going hungry. Because I eat and eat and eat....no matter if I like it...or if I'm full. I've never gone hungry, so it can't be something like that. ANd my parents weren't the type to make us eat everything on our plate. So I know it didn't come from something that was ingrained in my head as a child or something. I also know that I'll order big...and keep eating because I have this feeling sometimes of "it's soooo goood, I don't want to waste it!" When I'm lucky enough to recognize what I'm doing, I try to tell myself, "this is not a once in a lifetime meal.....I can make it again, or order it again the next time we come to this restaurant!"

We had some new people at my meeting last night. (oh yes!! HOW could I forget.....I lost 2.4 pounds! That puts me at 50.8 total for weight watchers!!!! AND 110 and some ounces for total!!!) Anyway, something came up about one of the guys at out at a buffet and he had brussel sprouts. The new lady turned up her nose...I laughed becuase I"m in agreement. Well, the weight watcher leader used it as a segue to remind us about the zero point foods. I started laughing......I only like two or three foods off that list! (Sauerkraut, green beans are good. SOMETIMES, I can do raw carrots and broccoli......salads are ok, ONLY if they have lots of dressing and cheese on them...which negates the zero point thing) The newer people were all sitting there with their jaws dropped, because we had just celebrated my 50/110 pound loss (yes, my weight watcher leader celebrates both numbers....although I only get awards for the weight watcher number). I looked at them and said, "I'm a testament to the fact that you don't have to eat only healthy foods, you just have to make better choices and eat less when you make that choice". And that really is what it's about! I KNOW I could eat a donut...but then I'd use up all my points and I wouldn't be able to eat the rest of the day! That's not a good choice for me! (nor a healthy one!) One girl was like, "what about pizza" I answered honestly. I eat pizza. (real restaurant purchased pizza) I just don't do it every other day or even once a week! ANd when I do have pizza, I manage. I laughed and told them that the other week I ate pizza and still lost a pound and a half. One guy jumped in and said, Oh for me it's Chinese. I laughed even harder...becuase the night after we had Pizza, we ate Chinese!

Well, I haven't done too badly this week. I did have a few days where I dipped into my flex points. That always worries me though, because I know that I don't lose as well when I use them. But, so far so good. This morning the scales had me at my lowest weight ever (I reached it once about a week or so ago and then jumped right back up). So, I'm hoping that I stay there! If I do, and the scales at my meeting weigh my pretty close, then i will be at my 50 pound for my meetings mark (110 total).

Yesterday Todd and I went out on our bikes together. Feels good! We did about an hour and went about 10 miles. Today we did about an hour and a half and did 15 miles! So I know that that will help greatly! I also have to do some canning tonight..so I'll be on my feet and moving more than normal tonight! :-) (tomatoes again!)

I was pleasantly surprised. At the beginning of the summer I went through my "not quite there" drawer of clothes! I took out one or two things that i could wear, looked longingly at the other things and then shut the drawer. Well, this summer I haven't really lost. BUt the other day I decided to open the drawer and see what was shakin'. I can now wear about 90% of the stuff that was in the drawer! AMAZING.....I didn't lose that much weight...only about 3 pounds when it's all said and done! BUT, I'm able to wear the stuff! So, at least I'm able to see some progress! :-)

Weigh in

Down 1 1/2 pound! I'm disgusted because according to my home scales, it should have been more! HOWEVER, I'm ok with it! A pound and a half is still a good week! If I can manage that next week, I'll get my 50 pound magnet AND that will put me at 110 pounds lost total! That's pretty darn good!

I remain super motivated! I actually woke up at 5:30 this morning and was out on my bike by 5:50! I rode for about 45 minutes to an hour. Came in, showered, got ready for work and was here by 7:45. I feel good that that is out of the way. I won't be tempted to skip it tonight...or forced to with all the canning that I have to do this afternoon. Yes, I've got a good bit of canning to do this afternoon. So I will be active all afternoon! That's a good thing! :-) Todd goes to work at 8PM...so have to be done in the kitchen by then...and then I'll just relax the rest of the evening! :-)

I ate my cereal for breakfast. For lunch I'll probably have fruit and a sandwich. For dinner we are having chicken (on the grill) corn (yep, I'm doing corn today as one of the things we picked out of the garden) and probably sweet potatoes (grilled).

wow

It really is amazing what you can lose if you put your mind to it. As of yesterday morning according to my home scales, I was down more than 4 pounds! I hit the lowest weight I have seen yet (on my home scales). I'm hoping to hold that number for my weigh in tomorrow. HOWEVER, I forgot to weigh in this morning so I'm a bit nervous about what my weight was today! I'm trying not to stress about it though!

I've been doing quite well with the exercise. I didn't exercise on Saturday....time got away from me and I when I remembered, I realized that I didn't have enough time to do anything before we left the house...and we didn't get back until really late. BUT 5 of the last 6 days isn't a bad track record with exercise! I know for me and my recent track history...i'm going to have to be really really tight with what I'm doing...becuase i know that I can hold together my willpower for about a week...and then it tends to go sour! That is my problem. I get it together one week...do really good and then the next week gain it back! That's not cool!!!

Looking forward to my weigh in tomorrow night. As of last week I was exactly 3 pounds from my 50 pounds. I'm hoping that i can knock that out this week! Then next week get into the 180's! Either way...i'm going to get there!

Another day down. We did eat out and had Chinese tonight. I had Empress CHicken...not the greatest choice...but what I was craving! I had a ton of points though so I should be ok.

I went for my bike ride yesterday after work. I was going to go for one today but it was 102 degrees outside so I decided to skip it. Instead I did Dance Dance Revolution after we got home from dinner. I feel good about that! We are hoping to go for a walk or bike tomorrow morning before it gets really hot out!

Epiphany

Yes, I had an epiphany last night at my weight watcher meeting. It wasn't anything the leader said. It wasn't even anything relating to the topic of last nights meeting. It was from something that one of my friends/fellow weight watcher said while we were waiting for the meeting. Typical of our group of people that attend my meeting, as we all arrive we share the happenings of the previous week and how we did weight wise. The gal that usually sits beside me had maintained and even though she wasn't upset that she maintained (she realizes that anything other than a gain is a success) she was disgusted because she is about one pound away from being at goal! She looked at me and said, "I'm so tired of paying....if I can just get to my goal I won't have to pay anymore." One of the other gals then did make goal last night. i also realized that next week will mark one year of weight watchers meetings. All of a sudden it hit me. I've piddled around these last SIX, yes SIX months. Oh, I've been here half heartedly one week and then throwing caution to the wind the next week. But it's been about six months that I've been only half heartedly following the plan. I've paid for six months of meetings and what did I do with it? I piddled around! Six months.....that is 24 weeks! Using the 2 pounds per week (which is what I had been previously losing on average) that would have put me at 58 pounds! That is a far cry from the 5 pounds that I did lose in reality! Honestly, that makes me want to cry....because 58 pounds is actually even more than I need to lose to be at my weight watchers goal weight........and even more than I need to lose to be at my personal goal weight! I could have been there already if I had focused my attention and energy! I could have been sitting in those meetings for free as a lifetime member!

No more playing around. I'm either in this 100% or not at all! I refuse to waste my time, focus, energy and yes money on something that I'm not 100% behind! AND, I feel rejuvenated and ready to be on the lose weight bandwagon 100%! Hopefully in 6 months I'll be at goal!

Still kicking

It's been a while, but i've not fallen! Not to far at least! I'm still struggling to get in the exercise. I'm happy to say that I have ridden my bike a few times and walked once this week. That's a good thing at least! My weight is about down to my lowest point. So I'm happy about that! Course, it's been three weeks for me to get it there. BUT at least I'm there.

Right now my problem is eating out. I do relatively good at home. BUt when I go out, I just kinda go hogwild! We are probably going to go out to Hoss's tonight. I'm hoping that I can maintain some control. No...not hoping. I'm GOING to maintain control of my eating! :-) Plus, eat really light for lunch so that I have the points for dinner!

I've been able to regain control! PRetty much. I did sneak a bit today...but I don't think it will knock me off target. Now, I will say that I was dropping weight pretty rapidly...but now I'm kinda sitting still again...but that is because TOM is right around the corner (oh joy). BUT anyway, overall I'm pretty proud of myself!

Wowzers!

I did very good yesterday. I'm actually pretty stunned at how much the scales have dropped in the last few days. On Sunday or Monday (not sure which day) they were up at 198.4. I was hoping that a lot of that was water retention, becuase toward the end of alst week I was not at all diligent about drinking my water. So on Monday, even though I wasn't having the greatest day I tried to start getting my water in...and Tuesday also. So yesterday I weighed myself and found myself to be at 195.6. I was tickled....because even though MOnday and Tuesday were not good eating days, I was able to drop some weight (surely water). Yesterday, I did everything eating wise right (no exercise though) SO the your wondering about the scales today? Today, they were at (are you ready?) 193.6 That's like 5 pounds total!!!! And two pounds for yesterday alone!!!! That's pretty amazing. That puts me pretty close to where I was before I started gaining the other week! (before the week of July 4th!) I've got my eating for today planned out (with 6 points unused and unaccounted for...for that snack or whatever that I want tonight! Mostly fruits and veggies for me....good for me, and keeps my points low

I'm back

I've noticed that I've been not as active in my blog. I can see how that has directly correlated with my food journals. I haven't been keeping them up. Either one. I know that when I'm not journalling (either on my blog or in my food journal) that I don't do as well weight wise! I've tried half heartedly to write down my foods...but it just hasn't happened! Last night when I went to bed I just knew that I HAD to do this. I hadn't weighed myself in a few days...and I knew that I was up to 198.4 at my last weighing. All of a sudden, while I was shoving my face full of food, I realized that I could put myself over that 200 pound mark very easily! It scared the livin' out of me! That to me would be beyond awful! So, I awoke this morning KNOWING that I was going to be good. No if's and's or buts. I also told a bunch of people about my problems. Hoping that the accountablity will help! Thus far I've done pretty good. I've got my lunch planned (fruits and veggies) and my dinner planned. SO I'll be well within my points! I KNOW that today is the day that I'm going to turn this around.

Now for the surprising thing. I did my morning weigh in (yes, I try to weigh in daily). I was 195.6! I don't know how...but I'm not going to look a gift horse in the mouth! NOR am I going to do anything do jeopardize that weight! I want to take my weight back down to where it was before I gained that weight at last weeks weigh in! I've decided to not weigh in this week. I'm making it a personal challenge to weigh in next week at either my last weigh in weight (which was 2.4 pounds higher than my lowest) or lower........my biggest wish is that I'm down to my lowest weight again! But I'll be happy with a 'maintain' or better! :-) I was afraid that if I skipped my weigh in this week, that I'd be tempted to be bad again and skip another week! BUT, I know I can't do that....so I made it a personal competition!

No control whatsoever!

I've had no self control whatsoever in the last week or two! Even as I'm eating seemingly out of control (although still better than I would have done a couple years ago), I'm berating myself for doing it. I'm disgusted with myself and I hate it! But I keep doing it. It makes me ill when I think abou it!Every day I say, tomorrow is another day. I start my day with grand plans and then something happens to blow me out of the water and ruin my plans!

I've been very open and honest with some friends and the people in my challenge group. I'm hoping that that will help to keep me 'honest' and on the straight and narrow!

WOW!!!

Wow, the last two weeks have been....uhhhh not that great! I've been besieged with July 4th, then our party at our house a few days later. Then Alan and Cindy were in so I was eating out a LOT with them! (plus the goodies that mom had in the house for them were starring me in the face). THEN Todd and I had some vacation time...in which we did a bit of travelling (day trips). Bombarded! I have gained! I can however claim that I did better than I would have in recent years. I tried to chose healthier options. When I did knowingly chose a bad option, I kept it at a minimum. SO it could have been a whole lot worse!

Meanwhile, all that is behind me. I'm moving forward and I"m going to WIN! I'm determined! I've calculated my breakfast and lunch and I'm on track! Dinner will be a salad.....with a 2 point dressing (maybe three if I put a little extra on it), no cheese or croutons (I will have the points if I so desire the croutons though)......So I'll be well within my range of points...even adding in a serving of fruit tonight! I'll even have a few extra daily points to 'play' with!